#also erlang and nezha are cute leave me

[lotusarchon]

Nezha, now Erlang? You have a strange type Mr. Monsterfucker

I like men who looks like they can whimper while rearranging my insides

Also I like fucking deranged eldritch abominations too okay but that's so common on Tumblr

[funnel-webbed-au]

A Shiny New Royal Heir

Riley's Notes: Nezha and Lian have a very cute platonic dynamic. Also, RIP Nezha. Welcome to paperwork hell, bud, same hell Erlang Shen has to deal with. Also, this post was written by Onyx and proofread by me. Onyx highlights their titles in pink.

To say that the Deity was bored would be an understatement. He was completely and utterly devoid of stimulation, not a familiar soul in sight to help him manage his strict and stressful duties. The issue was how ready he had(n't) been to take up his father's mantle, and there was not really any other solution to it than let him learn on his own, which was how he found himself in such a tricky situation in the first place. Prince Nezha, heir to His Highness Yang Jian was unhappy.

Unhappy in his role, unhappy without his beloved snake and certainly unhappy with how many imbecilic Celestials felt the need to send their complaints straight to the palace instead of using their brains to sort the issues out themselves. Was that really too much to ask? Apparently so. He had never known just how infuriating some people could be until he was already far too deep to escape his anxiety riddled torture, so he was stuck listening to the high pitched whine of whatever citizen was giving him a headache at any one time. Anything would be better than that.

Alas, he knew he could not leave his duties to collect dust. He would let his love for a special Storm Deity motivate him into keeping his childish habits and behaviors at bay for long enough to prove that he could handle the weight of his new, freshly polished, gold crown. He dreaded what may happen if he didn't... which forced his posture straight and his chin up, his façade no longer that of a traumatized child, but instead one of a war-hardened, invulnerable soldier. Soon enough that would no longer be an act, but instead the whole, undeniable, truth.

A long sigh left his lungs as he moved on to the next stack of written requests, the piles of paper slowly becoming painful to deal with and simultaneously getting taller every time he looked at them. When three-year-old Nezha said that he wanted to be a war general when he grew up, this was almost certainly not what he had meant. Ah, how present Nezha longed to regain that childish innocence. Realistically, it wasn't going to happen, but a man could hope, right? That wasn't really the prince's style even though he'd been shifted to different views a little.

He was shaken out of his thoughts by the entry of his beloved peach blossom, her footsteps near silent but loud enough to his overly sensitive ears that he knew she was coming. Hurrah! A savior! The tea that she was carrying with her smelled absolutely delectable, and the sweet treats that he knew his 'mother' had made almost rivaled it. "Nezha, dearie, you need to take a break. You will burn yourself out otherwise, and we can't be having that." Her soft, mellow tones were enough to convince his tired mind nigh on instantly, so he took the tea.

She seemed relieved that he hadn't fought her gentle orders, and it shone in the way she happily joined him behind his desk, resting on the hanging chair that he'd commissioned specifically for her. For some reason, any room that she was in almost immediately lost any tension that it had been carrying. It was weird, but Nezha wasn't about to complain, her presence lifting so much stress off of his tired shoulders. She was not even doing anything, just sitting behind him and sipping at her tea, and she was, miraculously, still the only medicine he would ever need

"Thank you, Lanhua. Your efforts in assisting me are appreciated and certainly do not go unnoticed. I do not know how to repay you, but I promise that It'll happen at some point." She clearly wasn't in the mood to be serious, as his words only elicited a giggle and a slight head shake, but even still, her point came across clearly: her kindness was free, he did not owe her anything. Upon Nezha figuring out what she meant, another sigh left his mouth but this one was just somewhat exasperated, all stress gone from his systems for a time

It was astounding, how she knew exactly what to do to get him to relax, but he wouldn't trade it for anything. He loved cared for her.

Author's Note!

I am incredibly sorry about the poor quality of this one! Wrote it late at night and almost fell asleep before finishing it, so it isn't my best work (Have a future!Nezha design as an apology). Thanks everyone for your support!

[skellebonez]

I yelled about your blorbo for like two google doc pages, now you have to hear me yell about mine, it's only fair. You dug your own brainrot hole (and mine. thank you.) by answering these humongous asks

Nezha looks like he's in his twenties and he's absolutely been in and out of young life crises for his entire fucking existence, someone hand him some soda so he'll be lively at the party and not pass out before it even starts. I headcanon that he can get similar sugar highs that kids can. Give him a bottle of soda, and he'll be sweet and active for the next few hours and then crash.

He is. a little bit pudgy. just enough to cup his face like a pet and it be cute. His reactions to being called cute are either his knee-jerk "NO, I'M NOT >:(" or "Yes, I am, now pet me. This is not a request." His beloved shifu, Erlang Shen, adores him for this.

SPEAKING OF ERLANG SHEN. Nezha and Erlang have a very adorable son-adopted father dynamic because Nezha needs a good paternal figure dammit leave me to my fluff. Erlang trains Nezha when the latter of the two isn't dropping on his feet from exhaustion, and when he is, Erlang isn't shy about carrying him to bed.

Nezha's attitude towards MK is in the same ballpark as his attitude towards SWK. He thinks MK is reckless, but that he has potential if he can learn to fucking plan ahead, for the love of all that is sweet and carbonated.

He likes Mei but every now and again, he has a crisis over the fact that she's distantly related to Ao Lie, who's the nephew of Ao Guang. Nezha is more afraid of Ao Guang than anything else since he keeps having nightmares about that One Legendary Moment in his myth.

Something Nezha says once in a blue moon is that he has three homes, and one of them is a cramped apartment with his little brother. He's referencing MK when he says this. Sometimes he'll also say it's in the bowels of a volcano hidden away from the rest of the world, and then he's referencing Red Son.

NEZHA HAS FRIENDSHIP BRACELETS. He doesn't go anywhere without them. They have charms on them that match people he cares about. He has charms for Iron Fan, Erlang Shen, MK, Red Son, Mei, Sandy, SWK, and charms for two OCs, Lian Lanhua who belongs to that-one-enby-onyx, and Bai Xian, my snake pseudo nun who has some really great lore I'll go into detail about in another ask. If I named my snake badly, please inform me. (Bai Xian is she/he/they, Lian is she/her)

INHALES

Ramble over, I hope you enjoyed this completely self indulgent tangent about my interpretation of Nezha ft. OC mentions + MK, Red, and Erlang.

...my autism is showing. Oh well. Shrug.

Honestly, I accepted my fate the second you sent your first ask xjxjdjjd. I will gladly listen to all blorbo ramblings.

I absolutely adore it when people make Nezha and MK have a brother like bond. And I really really like the way that you have him interacting with Erlang Shen! (He also absolutely deserves All of the soda in the universe.)

His iffy relationship with Mei also makes complete sense! And the fact that he feels close enough to Red Son and MK to consider their homes his secondary homes is delightful.

I do genuinely enjoy your rambles! And your OCs sound interesting.

As for names, I suggest double-checking possible characters in Mandarin and Cantonese and the like for the chosen name and cross reference those with other words/names to make sure it all makes sense together! There is a little bit of leeway with stories like LMK since half of the characters have names like "demon bull king", so it's ok if a name doesn't make 100% complete sense as a normal name in our universe, but it is still always good to check! You never wanna have that moment when you realize your character's name accidentally translates to something unintentionally weird like Canned Fish because you didn't google it (I actually saw somebody legitimately name their character this in another fandom before someone pointed it out).