#also don't make this about L*ustat or DM

[thequeenofsastiel]

Thinking about this:

So what I love about this is how completely accurate it is to describe your kink orientation as a "need". Because it's not just something I would like out of a relationship. It's not a want. It's a need. I'm actively unhappy in vanilla relationships(or that one time I spent a year trying to be in a relationship with another sub *shudder*). I need to be able to submit to my partner. And honestly I just need to be able to submit in general. Not having that feels like I'm suffocating. So Louis saying that he and Armand had figured out what they NEEDED from each other, not wanted, but needed, is perfectly accurate.

Also look at the love in their eyes!!!! You'll NEVER convince me that they weren't in love in Dubai.

[thequeenofsastiel]

So what I appreciate about this moment is the fact that Louis takes a second to look into Armand's eyes here. He doesn't give him a polite smile or say thank you. He just gives him a brief yet intense look. It affirms their connection, and their dynamic. See, the thing is, service submissives(in my experience) don't actually want our Doms to thank us when we perform acts of service. At most we want them to say some version of "Good girl/boy". Because that's what we want to be. Our entire goal is to serve our Doms. To thank us would in a way undermine what we're doing. Like we've done something nice, but ultimately meaningless in the overall relationship. Whereas when we perform a service, that is an intrinsic part of that relationship. We serve because we have an overwhelming desire to do so. And we want to feel like we've done a good job, which is why our Doms give us affirmation that we have. So what Louis is doing here is a silent version of that. He doesn't thank Armand, because he knows that Armand doesn't want that. Instead he gives him this intense "You're mine" look, also a form of affirmation. Which is why he follows it with the kind of rude order that he would NEVER give to one of his staff. When he wants them to go, he thanks them. But with Armand he's stern and dismissive, which I think was the point of that expression. So that even as Louis is being dismissive of him, Armand still knows that he belongs to Louis. That look wasn't loving or reassuring in the way most people might think, but to a sub, it absolutely would be.

[thequeenofsastiel]

GOD I love the scenes in which Louis dominates Armand. The rest of the time, Armand is in complete control of himself, and usually pretty fierce. Like me, he doesn't come across as submissive, except to Doms, who can see right through us. But when he's submitting to Louis, he's almost unrecognizable. Like here:

The intense vulnerability on his face is deeply touching to me. I can feel how he's feeling in that moment. And it's the best feeling in the world. Even when he was clearly broken up about not wanting to come to watch Madeleine get turned, he was still placing himself in Louis' hands, giving Louis the power to force him to do something he desperately didn't want to do. Giving up that control, making ourselves vulnerable in that way, even if we do end up having to do something we don't want to do, is a beautiful experience for us. Just like being punished. When I say punished, to be clear, I'm not talking about what we in the kink scene call "funishment". I mean true punishment that we don't enjoy for disobedience. It soothes something deep inside of us, and actually usually calms us down. So even though Armand looked scared and vulnerable in that scene, on a fundamental level, it profoundly touched the submissiveness inside of him. It gave him an opportunity to submit to Louis. Which is incredibly important to us.

So yeah, I just adore watching Armand submit. It soothes my intense desire to submit as well to get to see him experiencing it.

[thequeenofsastiel]

I want to point out that Armand being a service submissive to Louis was not them playing a "game". Yes, we do call what they were doing play, but that does NOT mean it was a "game" to them. It was an integral part of their dynamic, not one they could set aside and be happy, especially because their dynamic was 24/7. Were there ever times when Armand wasn't submissive to Louis? Sure. When they fought there wasn't submissiveness. But that is because being submissive requires a LOT of vulnerability and trust. When you're in an argument with your partner, that ability to be vulnerable goes down, so the dynamic disappears, at least a little. Not always, necessarily. Sometimes if the sub gets upset it can be soothing to have our Doms grab us by the hair or face and tell us to calm down. But not always, and the more the couple understand the other, the easier it is for a Dom to tell when the time is to be dominant, and when the time it is to not be.

But that still doesn't make what people in kink dynamics, again ESPECIALLY ones in 24/7 dynamics, are doing a game to us. That idea undermines how powerful our D/s connection is, and how integral that connection is to the relationship. For people in 24/7 dynamics it isn't a game. It's a lifestyle.

Now, for some people it is a game. For some people it's unimportant enough to them to be a game. But not to the kind of dynamic that Louis and Armand had. It isn't a game to me either. It's a fundamental part of what I need out of a relationship.

So yeah. Louis and Armand weren't playing a game.