#also doesn't help that my dream memories are super strong and i can't tell what actually happened and what i dreamt up most of the time

[queerstudiesnatural]

you know how some people have sleep paralysis where their mind is awake but their body isn't. well i have the opposite where sometimes i wake up and my body is awake, i can like walk around and stuff, but it's all on autopilot and i can't access my brain. like i'll spend several seconds, minutes sometimes, just trying to remember who the fuck i am and where i am and what day it is and what i did yesterday. terrifying

[picaroroboto]

random rambly crossover thoughts under the cut

I talk a lot about the thematic overlap and coincidental lore similarities between FGO and FFXIV, but what I really really like to think about, and need to write sometime, is interactions between Guda and the WoL, because they are so similar: Guda has this strong yet simple kindness, they're a traveler, they've got a reputation for chaos and wierdness but everyone loves them so much that their defining skill is summoning a bunch of guys, they would be another Shard of Azem's soul except for the fact that they're from a completely different universe. Guda and the WoL have a lot of the same problems on the deeper level - the pressure of being the only one who can save the world in this way, the burden of being loved and idolized and put on a pedestal while also being reduced to just your title and your role. And of course the myriad traumas of a life of high-stakes battle and the struggle to put on a brave face for other despite all of this, because so many people are counting on you and a smile better suits a hero.

Oh, and they're both sort-of psychic, with the WoL's Echo visions and Guda's shared Servant dreams so probably not long after meeting they'd be thrown headlong into each other's worst memories: the WoL watching Guda's toughest battles in Camelot and Babylonia and the Temple of Time, the destruction of Chaldea at the start of Part 2, maybe flashes of Aphrodite's song and the Garden of Lost Will; while Guda picks up on scenes like the Bloody Banquet, Haurchefant's sacrifice, the battle with Ardbert in Soul Surrender - "One life for one world - you of all people should understand!"

(the WoL doesn't tell much of their past because they're enjoying the feeling of being somewhere where nobody knows their name, while Guda doesn't give much specifics of the Lostbelts because it would be hard to reveal to a hero from another world that saving your world involves destroying others)

So the WoL, summoned to Chaldea or some Singularity, does understand what Guda is going through and wants to help, but - Guda's not so different from an Ascian. The WoL knows what it's like to fight to protect your broken world, they've fought against and killed those who would return their world to it's proper course. Maybe they'd be allies for a while, good friends as well, but still oppose Guda at some point - not really a betrayal, maybe more of a trial, or just a sort of inevitability, because just like they can't not help Guda they also can't ignore the fact that Guda has defeated many heroes just like them, just like Ardbert and his party, like any Warriors of Light of the rejoined Reflections.

Leading to super sugoi summoning versus summoning battle, overlapping chants of "My will creates your body, your sword creates my destiny..." "Let expanse contract, eon become instant..."

[asteral-feileacan]

Sorry, I pressed a button and sent you that last ask before i finished it Can you delete it? That line you mentioned in your last answer, where Bucky says "I remember every kill"- just doesn't make sense in terms of the continuty. Wasn't his memory wiped between every mission specifically so he couldn't remember? Also, if you are passing so much electricity through the brain of a human that they are literally screaming in agony and have to have a mouthgaurd put in to stop them biting their own tongue off with the pain--- that is going to have serious effect on their brain and body.

If the guy who had that done to him says he can remember everything then either:

a) The torture didn't work or

b) He's actually lying: was saying that he remembered it a condition of his pardon, or something? I agree: the way his trauma was treated - just wasn't great. In the first couple of episides, it seemed like it was being addressed- but then they seem to have forgotten about it and got caught up in the whole catching the terrorists storyline, and then the racial inequality storyline with Sam. The final scenes with Bucky telling that sweet old Japanese guy what happened to his son seemed to be added as an afterthought when they deserved *much* more time. Bucky was clearly deeply upset just at the memory: his voice was cracking and he sounded like he was going to start crying. We should have seen more of the reaction and the impact.

it seems to me that if he was *that* distressed at just reliving the memory of one kill he could not have remembered all of them because it would have overwhelmed him and probably tipped him over the edge. ...and the therapist. Just don't get me started. I hate the way that the show treated therapy as something that was either funny or annoying. Can we just for *once* see a male character going to therapy and it being depicted as a positive or beneficial experience? Instead of just denying or ignoring their trauma and internalizing it.

Honestly, the problem is writers who don't understand how PTSD works, don't know how trauma impacts people, and don't understand that men not admitting how much they are hurting isn't being "strong".

Done, no worries!

"If the guy who had that done to him says he can remember everything then either: a) The torture didn't work or b) He's actually lying: was saying that he remembered it a condition of his pardon, or something?"

Personally? I think it's both to some extent. I always think of it more as, there has to be a reason that Hydra had to keep performing the brainwashing/conditioning, and keep using the trigger words to keep him at bay. He's a super-soldier, and has the healing factor, so he'll recover far quicker and more effectively than anyone else subjected to the conditioning. Where a non-super-soldier might not have even survived, Bucky did, and I think it's very telling that as soon as he stops getting the conditioning, he starts remembering things.

So despite all of the work and pain that Bucky has had to do to even begin undoing this damage, Hydra's methods had cracks in them, and that's why Bucky's able to remember things. Even with that, there was still extensive damage, and maybe he really doesn't remember as much as he claims. Again, to go back to my previous responses, this is a guy who was reduced to a state where he couldn't, wasn't allowed to, remember who he was, and in the wake of that, has not been given the help he needs and fears he's a monster.

Then there's the dreams. We know he has dreams, nightmares of the people the Winter Soldier killed, and we know they're extremely vivid. I can't really say whether he remembers names, but he for sure remembers their faces, and that's already bad enough.

And as for the distress of remembering all those kills in THAT level of detail - that's exactly why Bucky desperately needs real and competent psychological aid. Even if he doesn't remember every single kill, he clearly remembers a significant amount of them, which is hardly any better. Maybe he's already had a point where he's been overwhelmed by his memories and has since had to defend himself against them? The other option is that that point hasn't happened, but it's going to happen, because, well, the only thing that's changed is that he has people to support him now - he hasn't made other progress in terms of his mental health and the only other good thing going for him is that I assume he doesn't go back to that therapist.

Exactly. The show not only doesn't give Bucky a chance, it flat out refuses to allow him to be vulnerable and open when it matters. I can think of three scenes where that happens; the first is him telling Yori what happened to his son, the second is his talk with Sam when they're throwing the shield back and forth, and the third is that one from the dual therapy session ("If he was wrong about you then he was wrong about me."). There may be more, I haven't seen TFATWS in a while, but these are the ones that stick out to me.

The first WAS quite literally an afterthought. It's like they remembered at the last second about the old man and were like "oh crap", and then shoehorned a 2-3 minute confession scene in THAT THEY DIDN'T EVEN FINISH. Sebastian Stan's acting in that was beautiful and didn't deserve to be cut off in the middle.

The second was a step in the right direction, and it did resolve the tension between the main characters. But they didn't follow through on it, and Sam only barely got past Bucky's flippant facade there and then they were like, "aight we're done".

The third. Oh my god, the third. The potential. And it was never referenced again, iirc. The scene started out so silly, and that sudden tone shift almost saved it, but they chucked it out the window by not following through again and making light of the entire therapy.

Oh yeah - the Isaiah Bradley scene. In my eyes, that was one angry, brutally hurt and bitter character lashing out at another. That's such a good lesson for writers there on building real characters. Isaiah hated Bucky, scorned his attempts to be better, because in his eyes, he was right. Everyone's behaviour makes sense to them, and everyone has reasons for that behaviour, good or bad. It's such a beautiful lesson in building characters' psyche.... or it would be, if it wasn't the view of the people writing the show just trying to belittle Bucky again.

Like, I'm not saying that Bucky doesn't make mistakes of his own, or is a perfect baby boy who can do no wrong, that people need to walk on eggshells around him or that everyone must respect him because his feelings are more important than anything else.

I am saying that he is a trauma survivor who deserves help and love and support in his healing journey, who is not getting that in the capacity that he needs. I am saying that the way this studio treats him is garbage, and the way it expects praise for treating him in that manner is vile.

Honestly, the problem is writers who don't understand how PTSD works, don't know how trauma impacts people, and don't understand that men not admitting how much they are hurting isn't being "strong".

PLEASE. PLEASE say it louder for the people in the back. On top of absolutely everything else, the way they treated Bucky was a massive mockery of male victims.

[superfamilyexchange]

Superfamily Fanwork Reveals!!

THE DAY IS FINALLY HERE!!! All twenty-six (26) gift works had been revealed earlier today! Dive right into the Ao3 collection (here) and hop on over to the Discord server to scream and cry and laugh along with everyone else!

Creator reveals will be next Wednesday, July 7th. Also check out the fanworks below the cut!

A Boyfriend for Dad for betheflame (T, 6k)

Peter wants the best for his dad and worries that he'll be alone when he goes off to college. He needs to find a boyfriend for his dad. The best candidate is Mr. Rogers, his Academic Decathlon coach, but Tony hates Mr. Rogers. Peter decides to try anyway.

A Father, a (Super)Hero. for Sprout (G, 2k)

It's Father's Day in the Stark-Rogers' household, and Tony's had to leave early in the morning for a work emergency. Steve and Peter decide to surprise him with some flowers and chocolates, but can anything be as simple as that for a family of superheroes?

A House That's a Home for Skeeter (G, 6k)

Steve and Tony go through the long process of becoming adoptive parents. It's a harder road, as far as they can see, full of bumps and potholes. It's all worth it when they meet baby Peter for the first time - who captures their hearts and refuses to release it, not that they'd want him to of course.

ace in the hole for Huntress79 (T, 10k)

Sheriff Steve Rogers falls for the new guy in town (and for the adorable boy he has with him), but when Tony's secret catches up with them, will his love be enough to save them all?

basic unit [FANART] for Perlmutt (M, art)

steve never imagined he'd have a family of his own until he met tony. first, it was just two of them, and then he knocked tony up and they had peter. when peter graduated high school, tony was in his labor month.

it was perfect.

bring him home for geekymoviemom (T, 17k)

During the clean up after the Battle of New York, Steve finds a little boy in the rubble of an orphanage. He finds out this little boy is almost as strong as he is, and he knows he can't let anyone get their hands on him. People would do crazy things for a mutant child. Steve vows to protect him so he can grow up as a child and not as a lab rat.

citrus and lavender for captainstars (T, 8k)

Tony wasn’t his. He had made it very clear that he didn’t need some alpha in his life to mess with everything he’d worked so hard to accomplish. Especially not Steve Rogers.

Dying Inside to Hold You [Art] for Infinitywrites (G, <1k)

It was his wedding day. Tony looked over the sea of people in front of him, at Steve by his side, and felt his heart clench. He wondered, for a split second, how he had even got to this moment.

Family Is... A Web of Love for crypticrose (T, 1k)

Following the sudden death of his Aunt May, Peter is, more or less, shell-shocked. Good thing he has Tony, Steve and the rest of the Avengers to catch him.

Finding home for Pookiethefrickinbunn (G, 4k)

Tony and Steve are in an established relationship or married. Peter has been Spider-man for a while, but his parents don't know/have their suspicions. I would love a confrontation scene between the Avengers and Spider-man and Peter ends up getting injured and the husbands find out who there son actually is. Tony and Steve would definitely feel guilty for what has happened to their kid, and maybe Peter would think his parents hate him. Some fluff at the end would be fantastic.

Forever and Ever for Neverever (G, 3k)

"Can I see it just one more time? Pretty please?" Peter hounds Steve, using the bigger man's knees as leverage so he could jump up and down.

"Okay, okay, one last time. But we need to be quick so your Dad doesn't see."

AKA: Steve, Tony, and Peter all go on a family vacation together, but Steve has a couple of tricks up his sleeve.

Head Full of Stubborn, Heart Full of Hope for ChocolateCapCookie (T, 2k)

In which Steve makes a decision for all the right reasons, but it still wasn't fully his to make, because parenting means discussions.

Heights in Depths, Depths in Heights for parkrstark (N/A, 5k)

"Suddenly everything that had happened prior came rushing back to him. Peter and him were going on a trip. A plane. The craft had jolted and made a loud noise before it began to lose altitude. The pilot had said something about engines failing, and because they were currently over the Rockies there was no safe place for them to land. Steve had buckled Peter up. The pilot told them to brace for impact. And then nothing." ---- Steve goes with his boyfriend's son on a trip across the country, just the two of them, to try and get some bonding time in. But this was not the kind of bonding he had in mind.

In my Favorite Dreams (I feel your heat) for wingheads (E, 6k)

Steve is on his morning run in DC when a ghost from his past comes back into his life. And he's not alone.

Just Desserts for JehBeeEh (G, 2k)

Tony grabs a midnight snack... Steve helps him finish it. There's one bite left before they read the note. They have have 45 minutes before Peter wakes up

Just the way you are for starkspangledsoldier (G, 4k)

'The view was beautiful but deafening. He could enjoy the sight in silence. But the silence was oppressive since it was not his choice. The silence did not help with the voices in his head, rather it made it worse.'

Let Your Haunted Dreams Go Tonight for UisceOneLove (T, 14k)

Tony Stark and Peter move to the suburbs to start a new life. On this journey Peter befriends resident hermit of the area, Steve Rogers. Little did the kid know it was gonna change his father's and own life upside down.

My Boys for Corsets_and_Cardigans (G, 10k)

Steve is assigned as the bodyguard to omega Tony Stark and his son. Through fluff and angst we watch as Peter subtly plays matchmaker and Steve does everything he can to keep his boys safe.

once upon a childhood for SilverDraconyx (G, 10k)

“Would it be okay to tell you a story, Pete? I hope it is. It’s the only thing I have planned for tonight. Just wake up if you want me to stop, okay?” Steve pauses, and the silence is unnerving but not unwelcome. No one stirs, especially not Peter, so Steve hums and Tony releases the breath he has been holding.

AKA

Steve, despite being a wanted vigilante, visits a comatose Peter in the Avengers Facility Medbay hoping to wake him up with stories about their past.

Six Letters for jacobby (T, 3k)

This was not at all what Steve had imagined when he’d dreamed of starting a family and being with Tony for the rest of his life, and as he drove the car up to the secluded cabin, he prayed inside that this trip could make it all better.

Sun Breaks Through the Sandcastle Walls for starksnack (G, 4k)

With the sun deciding to shine today, Tony ditched work and took Peter to the beach. What he wasn't expecting was to see his boyfriend there, too, and now his orbits were crashing together before he knew it.

The Heart of Heroes for Coffee_and_notebooks (T, 9k)

Peter has an internship at Stark Industries. It’s cool, except the most interesting thing he gets to do is be in the building. He figures that the internship is to gain good press by ‘helping poor orphans’.

That all changes, when he is sent to bring coffee to the Tony Stark!

As he spends time with Tony and Steve, they can’t help but come to love the teenage vigilante.

The Hundred Million Dollar Question for LenkaVittoriaElisse16 (G, 5k)

Maybe this was the hardest question that Tony and Steve ever had to answer. Their children's big puppy eyes surely didn't make it any easier. "Papa? Daddy? What's love?"

The Man Out of Time for sweetspiderstew (T, 17k)

For a moment, Steve is frozen, absolutely convinced that his eyes are playing tricks on him.

Because it can’t be right.  Wanda destroyed the Mind Stone, so how could Thanos have possibly gotten his hands on it?

But even besides that, there’s something else.  Something that Steve’s swirling mind and throbbing head can’t quite wrap around just yet.

He only knows that it’s wrong.

To Begin Again for IronDadStan (M, 11k)

Steve, a 35 y/o. Alpha meets Tony, a 21 y/o. Omega through an online art forum. Realizing that they lived in the same city, they decided to meet in person. And when they met in person, Steve gets instantly attracted to Tony. After all, Tony was handsome, intelligent, and has easy to be with. There was one problem though, Tony is a married omega.

You and I, we belong together for MCUKenna (G, 3k)

“What’s your name, kid?” He asked him.

“Peter. Do you…” The kid’s eyes darted around the room. “Do you not remember who I am?”

Memory loss. Tony hadn’t considered that one. It could be, he was still betting on an illusion, but (he quickly calculated the statistics in his head), it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility. “Maybe. If this place is real.” He told the kid, Peter.

[zachsgamejournal]

PLAYING: Breath of Fire 4

After completing Breath of Fire 3, my son insisted we do Breath of Fire 4. I'm glad we're playing this cause I've forgotten most of it...

Final Fantasy 7 is still my favorite JRPG, but Breath of Fire 3 is very close in terms of nostalgia. I enjoyed the mix of 3D environments with hand drawn elements, the music is great, the characters are good, and for the most part, the story is quite enjoyable. So I was super excited to play Breath of Fire 4 back in the day.

I remember the primary plot of a Dragon God separate into halves, and emerging after different times. And in a sense, each half experiences a different side of humanity, leading them to have opposite perspectives on whether or not humans are worthy of continued existence.

Maybe I'm way off.

Whatever the reason, it just didn't stick in my head as well as BoF3. So I'm happy to re-explore:

First off, as soon as the game starts it just feels better than BoF3. The characters have a little more detail, and a more serious style to their art. It's still cartoony, but it's like Disney's Pocahontas film vs the Aladdin TV show. The colors are also more muted, which gives it a more somber tone than BoF3's brightly colored sprites.

Also, the 3D environments are much improved. You start on a sandflier (which is badass), and it's a well modeled and textured 3D asset for the PS1. Not just a series of blocks like every environment and object in BoF3. So it makes the production value of 4 feel leagues ahead of 3.

It's interesting that you don't start as Ryu. Instead, you mostly control Nina in the beginning. It's currently her quest to save her sister we're following. So it almost feels like she's the main character.

Anyway: PLOT SUMMARY!

Princess Nina and Rei rip-off Cray are traveling through the desert looking for clues to Nina's missing sister, Elina. They're attacked by a sand dragon and crash. Cray offers to stay with the sandflier while Nina goes for parts.

She discovers a crater and a dragon inside. The dragon fades a way and a naked man stands before her: Ryu. Nina takes him along to see if they can find out where he's from, cause as of now, he has no memory.

At the town, no one knows Ryu, but we get information about a man we have to bribe for information. He then tells us about black market. We get the password and get in, only to learn they don't have parts: they repair parts. So now we have to go to the Sandflier Graveyard.

This little town is cute, but crowded. I'm not sure why, but the designers made it like a maze, which makes it challenging to navigate and easy to lose your way. But this game also offers a 360 camera in many parts (unlike BoF3 that was fixed at one angle). Maybe they designed it this way to force the player to use the angle-change, teaching them a valuable skill to succeed in the game.

There's some simple puzzles at the graveyard and then we're introduced to a cute mini-game: using a dog to sniff out treasure (and parts). With the parts claimed we head back to town.

The battle system feels fresher than BoF4. For one, the characters actually make contact with the targets, instead of just swinging their weapons in place like Final Fantasy 1. There's also many more frames of animation. Just all around feels better!

I like that Nina has become the healer. In BoF3, Ryu is the first healer, and then other characters get some crossover healing spells. Given that Ryu also has a strong attack, and a dragon form, it seemed weird that he should be a healer as well. Though, I do miss Nina's powerful spells. Ah well, she's still under level 10...

At some point, we cut to a temple in the forest to see Fou Lu emerge. He used to be an emperor and expects to be greeted by his loyal subjects. Instead, soldiers and their general confront and attack him. Looks like they got used to him not being around. Fou Lu gains strength from water, so is weak to fire. It appears he is defeated on a bridge, but we know better--don't we...

Back in town, Nina and Ryu plan to get their parts fixed (weird phrasing...sorry). Instead, imperial soldiers are bullying the locals. Nina steps in and stands her ground, the war is over: she says. No, the Imperial replies, it's just a cease fire. Now they want to capture her. When things escalate, Ryu breaks the King's Sword against a captain's face. The two flee the city.

On their way back to Cray, they are cutoff by soldiers, but clued into an alternate route as suggested by the man they helped in town. This route takes them to the hexed town of Chamba. When I played this as a kid, I thought it was neat how they treated Hexes, but now i feel this was an exploration of the devastating nuclear attacks the US used on Japan. Very clever.

There's a company of folks trying to clear the Hex, but it'll take years. They refuse to escort Nina and Ryu, but then Ershin shows up. It's a robot that looks like a Trashcan Knight. Anyway, Ershin is a person inside this walking bin, and offers to escort Nina and Ryu.

The three head into town and roam across the rooftops, avoiding the toxic mist. They reflect on how horrible the hexing of cities was during the war, and lament the tragedy.

Strangely, this section of the game really stuck with me from middle school. I think my friend started a new game and played past where I was, reaching this part. Something about it just stuck, and when I think of Breath of Fire 4, I always think of Ershin in Chamba.

Escaping the town, we make it back to Cray. We can't fix the sandflier, and there's no point in staying. For whatever reason, we think heading north will lead us closer to Elina. Ershin seems to be aware of Ryu's importance and says she'll go where he does. He decides to go with Nina.

While camping, they have a shared dream that they're breaking into an imperial facility to find Elina. I know what happens to Elina and I'm not sure my son is prepared for it.

It's only a game...

On our way North, we come to a Dam. My son likes Dams, so he's excited. We learn there's a dragon in the water, scaring folks away. Used to, the dragon avoided the damn, but now it's being a dick. We solve some simple puzzles and get across, but then the dragon sends in a flood and everyone flees. We barely escape.

Later, we come to a cliff overlooking the ocean and a water dragon appears. The group thinks it's the same dragon that flooded the damn, but it doesn't seem to want to attack. An old lady with a twangy instrument tells us that the dragons have a profound effect on the world. It's mysterious and the group leaves. The lady mentions to herself that a dragon walks among the group.

It's Ryu. He's a dragon. Four games in, he's always the dragon.

I don't remember much of the details from this game, so I'm excited to relearn them with my son. I'm letting him play more of the game now. It's better designed (I think), so should be less stressful than BoF3. Still, he's struggling with the awkward controls.

Now that we have 4 party members, we've started using the row-switching. It's neat, the whole team technically enters a battle, but only the three on the front row and commit action. You can pick any three to perform actions that round, and the game sort of figures out who's in battle, and who's in the back row. It's a clever system that removes the annoyance of having to choose what party members to use in a dungeon. Something that Final Fantasy X tried to do as well. I think Dragon Quest 11 also uses this...

We're having fun, and we've not cheated yet! (Except we use Save States, cause duh!)

[timeforelfnonsense]

30 Day Dragon Age OC Challenge

Hello! I’m busy as heck up I miss posting on here so I’m going to try to do this for all of girls! The original post is here and I would love to see y’all do this I love your ocs!! 

Day 1: Introduction

Describe your character in 140 characters. Now have your character describe themself in 140 characters. Also provide any of the basic biographical stats you wish: full name, age, pronouns, gender, class/specializations, etc.

Sylvas Mahariel: 

Headstrong, persuasive, fierce, proud, pragmatic,self-assured, noble  

( art by @rennybu part of this amazing commission they did for me!)

Full name: Sylvas Siona Mahariel 

Age: 18 turning 19 during the blight, 28 at the time of Inquisition (making her 30 post trespasser) 

Height: 5″3 

Hair: Waist length lose black curls that she always keeps up in a bun

Eyes: Grey  

Class: Rouge archer 

Specialization: ranger, Assassin 

Pronouns: She series 

Sylvas was raised by Ashalle in Clan Sabre for the first 18 years of her life. She was always a very responsible and caring person who put the good of the clan and others before herself. She is a thinker and a problem solver, the kind of person who always has a plan. She loves her clan and feels deep pride in her dalish roots. She got her blood writing at 16 before most of the other elves her age. She was apprehensive about leaving the clan, having had almost no human contact her whole life. She is prideful and fierce and tends to put up a wall until she feels comfortable. She is very privet about her emotions and feels burdensome when she tells others about her troubles. She holds herself to a very high standard and can be very hard on herself. She has a silver tongue and can almost always get others to see reason (or at least what she thinks is reason). She is very straight forward and appreciates when people speak plainly with her. She always tries to do what’s right for the greater good but sees ends to a means as well. Even with her small size many people find her intimidating, she takes no shit and definitely gives out the vibe she isn’t one to be walked all over. She has a pretty dry wit herself but she loves people who can make her laugh. 

I am Warden commander Sylvas Mahariel of Clan Sabre. I find it hard to talk about myself as I feel there isn’t much to be said that would be of interest aside from what is already public knowledge. I would say I am a capable leader and someone my friends and charges can rely on. I am practical and pragmatic, I am the person you come to if you need a plan or a problem solved. I value dignity and honor. If you make a promise to me you best keep it, a person is only as good as their word. I can't stand the petty squabbles of nobility who refuse to see the needs of others before their own. I am the first to admit I am not quick to trust but I care deeply for those I do and would do anything for them if the called upon me.  

Ygritte Hawke:

Cocky, independent, charming, witty, rebellious, alluring, bold  

Full name: Ygritte Hawke

Age: 22 during the blight, 23 act one 26 act two, 29 act three and start of Inquisition (Making her 31 post trespasser.)

Height: 5″8

Hair: Ginger hair she always keeps short with her signature Bettie page bangs. 

Eyes: Blue

Class: Mage

Specialization: Force Mage, Sprite healer 

Pronouns: She series

Ygritte was born and raised in Lothering. Being a mage she and her sister spent a lot of time with her father. They were very close and she gets her sarcastic, humorous nature from him. Her parents were strict about her using her magic and very protective. Ygritte is very rebellious though so that didn’t really stop her. She would also sneak out all the time.She was always very pretty and charming, turning the heads of many young men and ladies in her village. However due to her life as an apostate she never really allowed anything to become more than a fling for fear of being found out.She has always been a big flirt and very confident in herself. She’s super independent and very used to looking out for herself. In some ways this is a really good thing but it also tends to make her a little self-centered at times. She is headstrong and bold, never one to shy away from sharing her beliefs even when they are controversial. The Kirkwall gang was her first group of real close friends outside of her siblings and she really flourished with them around her. She is clever and thinks fast on her feet. Isabella says she could have been a rouge in another life! She’s the life of the party and wants to live her life to the fullest. As she has grown up she had become a little less selfish and a bit more thoughtful. She is very protective of her friends and family and would cross hell and high water to help them.

Well hello, 

You can call me Hawke. Before you ask yes it’s only Hawke  Miss Ygritte if you are nasty. I suppose I’m the champion of Kirkwall though I’m not sure if they let you keep the nice title after your boyfriend sticks it to the Chantry? How would I describe myself? I’m Clever and witty and down for any adventure. I know who I am and what I want and I’ve never been afraid to go after it. I’m not what you’d call discrete. I’m opinionated but I’m always ready to back up my arguments, I’m not all talk believe it or not! I’m a real looker and I know it. I think it’s a waste of time and energy to not see oneself in the best light. I just want to live a good life, make some memories and some changes. 

Ashalle Lavellan: 

Compassionate, persistent, clever, free-spirited, trusting, optimistic.

Full name: Ashalle Fellenaste Lavellan 

Age:22 at the start of Inquisition, 24 by the end (making her 26 by the end of trespasser)

Height: 5″0

Hair: Silver hair that on a good days holds a soft, romantic curl but out in the field gets pretty wild.

Eyes: Green

Class: Duel Dagger Rouge 

Specialization:  Assassin

Pronouns: She series

Ashalle was raised by her mother, grandmother and aunt in her clan in the free marches.Her Grandmother was her clan’s keeper, her aunt the first and her mother the clan healer. She however is not a mage like her father. Her father died when she was a teenager, they were very close and the loss deeply affected her. Ashalle is a total hippie. She lives her life following her impulses and her gut. She hate’s feeling caged or held back in anyway. She has a huge heart and is quick to trust and let others in. However it would be unwise to break that trust. She has a pretty nasty taste for vengeance and her sweet demeanor can sour pretty quickly if she feels you have wronged her or those she cares for. She is working on being more even tempered but it doesn't always work out that way. She loves fiercely and with everything she has.She is an optimist and very persistent. She’d never give up on someone she cared about no matter what. She feels a sense of loyalty to all elves dalish or city. She  dreams of seeing her people thriving and living well once more. She wants to know everything and anything there is to know about elves. Even if she isn’t a mage she loves magic and respects mages and supports their freedom. She holds so much compassion and I think that’s why she stayed on as inquisitor after the breach was closed the first time. She saw so much hurt happening and she couldn’t stand by and watch others suffer when she knew she could help. She is whimsical and curious always ready to do something new and exciting. She is extremely emotional and this mixed with her impulsive nature gets her into trouble sometimes.

Andaran atish’an,

They call me Ashalle. Oh hallashit how would I describe myself? Ummm I would say I’m bright! I have a knack for elven history and legend! I love stories and songs and I am always ready to share them with anyone who will lend an ear! I know I am a good friend, I would do anything for my loved ones. I never give up on someone I care for. Not ever; no matter what. I do have a bit of a mean streak. Not a mean streak per say, I just I get so angry sometimes and sometimes I just do things and I don’t think and I make a mess of everything. I’m working on it and I’m lucky to surrounded with more even tempers to help me. I love pretty things and sweets. I know that sounds silly but growing up with my clan I didn’t get to have fancy things or sweets. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t trade my upbringing for all the gowns and cake in the world! I’m pretty easy to get on with and I make friends quickly! I want to do right by the world and leave it better than I found it. I want to see my people thriving and safe once more. I want us to know what we have lost even if we don’t like everything we find. I know I am always growing and changing and I think that is probably the best adventure; growing strong and finding more of myself.

[jmtofp]

You mentioned the idea of Antarc being her reincarnation.

So here's my little thoughts about it:

How Antarc knows about Sensei being a different being.

Sensei says that Antarc already knew about him before any other gem did. It was never fully explained how Antarc knew about though. Since the only way anyone knows about it is through Sensei himself, the moon people, or possibly the ice floes, some have theorized that the ice floes had actually told Antarc about it. The only issue is that Antarc confirms that they can't really understand the ice floes. So, Antarc was either lying about it (possibly to keep Phos safe by discouraging listening, tho I doubt they thought that far) OR... there is another way Antarc could have known about Sensei without anyone telling them. What if, Antarc knew about it because they had some faint parts of their memory leftover from their life as Ayumu, Sensei creator. Antarc would at least have this feeling and idea that Sensei is a machine.

More of a reason to care for Sensei dearly.

No doubt Antarc loves Sensei the most due to Sensei being there for them during the lonely winters. However, I can't help but think that there should be more of a reason to it. So, imagine Antarc having some form of guilt passed over from their previous life. That's why they are super-complacent about keeping Sensei company during winter, to subconsciously make up for the time Sensei spend his lonely life after Ayumu died, to make sure he doesn't get lonely again.

One of the things I personally realize is that Antarc treats Sensei quite differently compared to the other gems. The rest of the gems can be seen as children loving their parent, and Antarc sort of has that too. But, I feel an extra layer to it. For instance, everytime Sensei falls asleep into a wall, Antarc is always prepared with a blanket to cover Sensei just because. This seems very motherly to me. Another instance is when Sensei is attacked by lunarians, Antarc immediately senses it from afar. Idk, seems like motherly instincts to me. And we all know who is practically Sensei's mother, the professor.

Basically, this theory seems to explain a lot more about Antarc.

Now about the dream, the weak part is easy since Antarc is also a low hardness gem of 3. But the "important" part... I have two possible explanations:

1) To the other gems

Antarc has always been an integral part of gem society by providing security for the other gems during winter. Without them, Sensei will have to carry the burden by himself or else the gems will never be able to sleep peacefully. I know eventually Cairngorm takes their place for winter duties, but imagine if before Antarc, the gems had to rotate duties every winter and most of the time they can't stay awake for all of winter, so when Antarc arrived the gems didn't need to do all that anymore since winter is now in more capable hands.

(*Side note: Antarc is literally the guardian of the other gems)

2) To Phos

This shouldn't come too much as a surprise. Along with Cinnabar, Antarc was also a vital catalyst for Phos' change. (I'd like to say Antarc was the most important in Phos' journey, but that's debatable.) Antarc is the one who had guided Phos towards courage and determination by showing them an example of how to be strong when you were created weak. Antarc's death is also the reason Phos starts to question everything which eventually leads to them going to the moon. Antarc is literally the most important figure to Phos as evident by Phos' nightmare in Chapter 83 alongside Sensei.

So that is two ways the "important" part can be explained.

So, where does this leave Antarc's character if true? I don't know. Ichikawa can be unpredictable most of the time. But at least, I feel like it resolves the few mysteries around Antarc's character quite well.

TLDR, Antarcticite being Professor Ayumu's reincarnation is plausible to me.

Is Phos actually the Professor’s reincarnation?

Hi ever since I saw that line about the professor’s dream of being a weak but important gem I’ve been thinking about this. Because yeah Phos makes the most sense Phos is, an important gem, and is in fact a weak gem, and is the main character. But I love entertaining the possibilities that Phos is not the Professor’s reincarnation. Specifically I love the idea that Cinnabar is the reincarnation. Cinnabar checks off the box of being a weak gem, but it’s interesting to me to consider if Cinnabar is the “important” gem the Prof mentioned. Because it’s hard to define what important means in this context. Important to their society? Important to external forces? Because while Cinnabar isn’t really influential to the Lustrous until after Phos has taken others to the moon, Cinnabar is important to Phos, and really is the catalyst for most of Phos’s journey until they take steps for their own sake. Some other little things between Cinna and the Prof are they kinda look more alike. The parallel of the Prof being able to freely offer their bodily fluids while Cinna’s do active harm. Plus Cinna is shown to be intelligent, discovering potential new species which would be fitting for the reincarnation of the Prof. Idk just some fun thoughts. I also enjoy the idea that Antarc is the reincarnation