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im-reddie · 7 years ago

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Only With You: chapter 1/?

AN: This is a story that I posted last year around November to wattpad but never got around to it and am now realizing how neglectful I am to my precious babies so I’m going to do a chapter to each story of mine that has chapters or re-do a story or finish a one shot, I JUST WANNA GET SHIT DONE SO THERE’S MORE TO COME DON’T WORRY I WILL GET TO YOUR FAV’S EVENTUALLY. also this came out so much longer than it was supposed to but I hope you liked it.

Masterlist

Summary Modern AU: It’s been about 3 years since high school graduation for the losers club. Beverly moved to Portland right after what happened in the sewers, mike moved away after his grandpa died the sophomore year of high school with an aunt(the last living relative he had), and Ben ended up going to a college in Portland to be closer to Beverly. The only losers left in Derry were Richie Tozier, Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak, and Bill Denbrough. They all went to college together but never really saw each other. They each made new friends with the classes they had. Every now and then one of them would see one of the friends in a class they had. Often they said hi and made small talk but never talked long enough to actually reconnect as friends, no matter how much any of them wanted to. Beverly’s father is close to death and has moved to Portland with his sister to be taken care of and the four distant friends left in Derry must go and support Beverly in her time of need. The four have to drive across the country together, but every city and state passed leads them to reveal more and more about how they truly feel about each other. Both good and bad feelings are set loose for the old friends to ponder, it is up to them to decide if they come back drifted even further apart or with a stronger relationship.

This chapter contains physical abuse towards one of the characters. Trigger warning!

Eddie

Eddie was so happy that today was the last day of the semester. He had just finished his last class of the day and felt free, stress-free that is. It was finally summer.

No classes for 3 months!!! He thought.

He remembered what summer meant to him and he also remembered how he used to spend his summers, outside with his friends traveling around the town and meeting new people. He remembered his old friends and thought of how much he missed those times.

Well, Stan and Bill are still here. I’ll just ask if they wanna get dinner sometime or go to a movie or something. It’d be nice to spend some time with them.

His thinking affected his ability to move for a little bit so while everyone was leaving he was slowly putting his things away while thinking of his old friends.

A girl he used to hang out with last year walked up to him and called his name. Her name was Sarah and she had long ginger hair, she reminded Eddie of Beverly and that was mainly the only reason he liked talking to her. The reason he stopped talking to her was that she was talking about Eddie behind his back. Not exactly something Beverly would do.

“Hey Eddie, what are you gonna do this summer?” She asked.

Eddie snapped out of his trance-like state and was a little confused because he wasn’t paying attention.

“what?”

“I said what are you gonna do this summer.” She asked.

“Oh I don’t know, I’ll probably just hang out with Lenny and go visit my mom or something. What about you?” He asked.

He didn’t really care. The only reason he asked back was to be polite.

“Oh probably just go visit my family in Florida”

“Oh that’s nice” he said enthusiastically, again not really caring.

“And you’re still dating Lenny? I thought you guys broke up?”

Eddie smiled, wondering why this girl was being nosey. “Uh-ya we did…but we got back together so.”

“Oh…ok well I hope it works out!” After she speaks she rubs Eddie’s hand with hers.

“Oh thank you Sarah, you have a good summer.” He says putting as much sarcasm as he can into his statement before removing his hand from her grasp.

“Ya we should hang out before I leave” she said.

“Oh ya totally that’d be so much fun!” He said.

“Ok well let me know when you’re free so I can schedule plans.” She said.

“Ok will do!” Eddie said. Smiling until she passed him then proceeding to roll his eyes.

There is a reason I stopped talking to you Sarah, take a hint.

Eddie looks at his phone as he is putting his things away and sees a text from Lenny. ❤️Lenny❤️ Hey babe I’ve got a surprise for you tonight❤️❤️❤️dress nice and I’ll pick you up at your dorm tonight at 6. Love you 😘.

Eddie smiled. It got him thinking about Lenny. His rugged, curly, long, brown hair that reached right above his jawline, and god that jawline. His brown eyes that Eddie loved and his inappropriate jokes that made him smile on the inside. He loved Lenny.

Even though he could be a little harsh sometimes. He thinks.

He remembers that he has to leave because the class was over and so he finishes putting his things up in his bag and leaves. He checks the time and sees that it is 4:45 pm

He rushed to his dorm room and unlocked the door, after walking in, he nearly slipped on a piece of paper that was on the floor. He adjusted himself and reached Down to pick it up. He saw that it was a note.

Eddie, meet me in professor Jacobs room at 5pm today. If you don’t come I will tell everyone your most embarrassing secret! -with extra love ❤️ anonymous

My most embarrassing secret? He thought. He didn’t remember telling anyone of his friends a big secret of his.

“That’s a weird sketchy note” he said. He brushed it off and put the note on the bed and but then thought

“Shit, I don’t even know my biggest secret…” He checked the time on his phone and saw that it was almost 5:00

“Should I stay or should I go? I’ve got a date with Lenny at six. I should have enough time to come back and change.” He thought.

He decided to go. He put his backpack down on his bed and grabbed his phone and kept it close just in case he needed to call 911 and pepper spray in his back pocket in case he needed to protect himself.

He no longer needed his pills and inhaler to feel safe and protected from things that could harm him anymore.

He left his dorm room making sure to lock the door behind him and he was off to professor Jacobs’ room. He didn’t really know what to expect but he figured he might as well get it over with.

It could just be one of his friends trying to prank him or get him out of his dorm.

______________

Stan

Stan arrives at professor Jacobs and when he walks in he sees nobody there. The class was completely empty. He looked at the note again and made sure he had the right classroom.

Hey Stan meet me in professor Jacobs room today at 5 please. If you don’t show up I will tell everyone I know that we slept together and believe me you don’t want that. -with love ❤️ anonymous

Yep, this was the class. This was the only professor Jacobs on campus too. He went down the stairs and decided to sit down and wait. He didn’t know any other friends that would threaten him with something like this. All of his friends were nice.

He waited about 5 minutes and checked the time.

5:05

He decided nobody else was gonna show up and this was probably a weird prank of some sort.

Stan stood up, grabbed his bag and when he turns around he sees…Bill.

An old friend he hasn’t been alone with in a long time, walking down the steps towards him. Bill stops in his tracks.

“Stan?”

“Bill?”

They both said each other’s names in a confused tone at the same time, causing them to smile awkwardly at each other.

“Hey..bill” Stan said nervously.

“Hey…” bill said

They stood in awkward silence until stand decided to finally break the awkward silence between them.

“Did uh… did you get a note too?” Stan asked.

Bill pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and waves it around. “Ya I didn’t really know wh-what to expect…who-whoever wrote this said that if I don’t come they’re gonna tell my professors they caught me cheating o-on my finals.”

Stan let out a small laugh and the next sentence slipped out completely.

“Well I was just about to leave but…if you stay…I’ll stay.”

Bill nodded and smiled.

“O-Okay”

He was secretly happy to spend some time with his old friend. He missed him honestly. Stan and bill were pretty close when they were in high school.

Sure it helped that they were in the same friend group but they also talked to each other when the others weren’t around. They had their own inside jokes and told their own secrets. They probably knew each other better than anyone else in the group knew them.

They were all best friends as a group, but Stan and Bill were each other’s best friends. And both of the boys missed each other.

Neither one of them could bring themselves to tell the other person, and this resulted in 3 years of small talk that lead nowhere. Bill got new friends, Stan got new friends but neither of them knew that they lingered to be together again just as much as the other did.

Stan put his stuff back down on the desk and Bill took a spot right next to him.

“So what do you th-think this is all about?” Bill asked. Trying his hardest not to stutter. Bill didn’t stutter when he was talking to other friends, it would only happen if he was talking to friends from the losers club.

Stan smiled, hearing Bill stutter for the first time in years made him remember old times. Hanging out with the other losers through our high school and laughing about stupid things. Telling secrets and having their own sleepovers.

“I don’t know honestly, I was a little freaked out when I read it and I didn’t know who was gonna be here.” Stan continued.

“I haven’t heard you stutter since freshman year Bill.” Stan smiled. Freshman year of college was the only year that Stan and Bill had a class together.

Bill grinned and said, “I-I guess it’s bec-cause you bring back memories.” Both of the boys let out a small laugh and started talking about some of the most memorable moments they had with each other when they were children.

It was another 15 minutes until the boys realized that nobody else was here.

“Where is everyone else?” Stan asked.

“I d-don’t know, maybe it’s ju-just sup-posed to be m-me and y-y-you.” Bill says the last word and looks down with a nervous look in his eyes.

It wasn’t until bill looked back up and saw Stan give a small smile and said "ya…maybe it is.“ That Bill smiles back.

While the boys were talking to each other, Eddie entered the room. He saw 2 figures at the bottom of the stairs sitting in 2 desks next to each other.

He walked down the steps and when finally close enough to recognize the strangers he spoke, letting them know of his presence.

"Stan? Bill?” Eddie asked confused. “What are you doing here?”

“Hey, Eddie!” Stan said with a joyful tone. He was a little confused that his old friends were invited here, the only person missing was Richie.

“W-we all got a note huh?” Bill asked.

Eddie pulled his out. “Ya I guess so”

“Who do you think told us all to come here?” Eddie asked while sitting down next to bill.

“Well the only person missing is Richie so….probably Richie.” Stan assumed.

The boys suddenly heard a door from the bottom right side of the classroom open, revealing Richie Tozier.

“Oh c'mon Stan you’re no fun, It was supposed to be a surprise!”

Richie walked to the desk in front of the classroom, leaned against the desk then smiled.

“WHATS UP LOSERS!?”

“Richie?” Bill questioned. “Richie!” Eddie responded in shock. “Richie.” Stan said unsurprised.

The 3 said in unison. “Yes, it is I, the handsome, the dashing, the sexy Richie Tozier.”

Stan snorted “More like Dick Tozier” he mumbled, causing Bill to giggle and look over with a smile.

Richie gave a fake smile before continuing.

“You’re probably wondering why I called you all here.“

"Ya you know you could have just texted us right?” Stan said

Richie gave a sarcastic “Oh my bad” face and said “Well I would have called you but I don’t have bills number and he doesn’t have any social media,”

Bill nodded in agreement before Richie moved on.

“Stan you don’t even have an iPhone and I don’t associate with non-Apple users, but I also tried calling you one time when I was drunk and it went straight to voicemail like 4 times so I thought you blocked me,” Stan nodded in agreement.

“…and Eddie blocked me on everything…so.” he said in a chirpy tone.

Eddie looked away, not wanting to think about why he had blocked him. He remembered anyway and felt a sudden flood of annoyance wash over his mind and heart.

“Don’t worry Ed’s, I forgive you” Richie says blatantly. Eddie furrowed his eyebrows and anger reflected off of his face, Are you fucking serious?! running through his mind before rolling his eyes and taking his phone out and pretending he had something better to do. Richie was acting like the same Richie from his childhood, but more recently from his first semester in freshman year.

That was the only semester they had a class together.

Richie continued on with his speech unaffected by Eddie’s body language.

“Ben called me earlier this morning and told me that Beverly’s Dad is really sick, and his doctor is saying that there is a huge chance he might die soon. So I told him that we would all be there.” Eddie looked up from his phone concerned.

“Beverly’s dad? I thought he stayed here?” Saying her full name was foreign to the group, but they all grew apart so easily they felt like the right to call her ‘bev’ was given up the second they decided to give each other up.

“That’s what I thought” Stan agreed.

“He moved there a few months ago because he got really sick and he didn’t have anyone to take care of him.” Richie said.

“But wasn’t her dad…” Bill trailed off, hoping the rest of the group caught on to what he was implying.

“Yeah…and now he’s with her, sometimes even alone. And Ben isn’t always there with her. I just think it’s a good idea to be with her and make her feel a little less alone. She said she wants to stay with him and even if he did do all those things to her, he’s still her dad.” RIchie said.

His last sentence flipped a switch in Eddie’s mind, thoughts swarming around memories of his childhood, of his mother. Eddie’s mother died his freshman year of college, it had been two years but the scab was all too fresh and ready to peel.

He thought about Richie’s sentence again but modified it to fit his situation.

Even if she did do all those things to me, she’s still my mom. he thought. Eddie was pulled out of his thoughts by stan’s voice, the rest of them having a conversation without him.

“Wait, Richie, we can’t just leave to Portland out of the blue.” Stan says.

“You’re completely right Stanley, that’s why we’re leaving in 2 weeks. Is that enough notice for you? Two weeks for packing and enough time to spend with each other so we seem like actual friends by the time we get there.” Eddie scoffed making sure Richie heard, he earned a look of wonder from Richie. It was an unexpected reaction but Eddie made sure not to act like he noticed.

Stan and Bill look back to Richie but not before glancing at each other with a concerned look.

“I-I’m down,” Bill says. He looks around and smiles at the group. He was happy to go see Bev, Ben, and Mike again. He missed the old group and he was looking forward to getting to spend quality time with them again. He especially missed hanging out with Stan, so he was looking for any excuse to spend more time with him this summer.

“I don’t know, I have to talk to somebody first,” Eddie says. He meant Lenny but he didn’t think anyone else knew that seeing as how he hasn’t told any of his old friends about his boyfriend, he knew Lenny wasn’t going to let him leave Derry without him and once he told him the history between him and Richie, he definitely wasn’t going to let him go.

*sigh* “ it’s settled then. We’re going to Portland.” Stan said

Richie grinned and said “YES!”

“Ok so this is what we are gonna do, google maps says it only takes two days to go across the whole country but I find that really hard to believe because it can’t take 48 hours to cross the country by car I mean in what universe do we-”

“Wait…by car!?” Stan asks in shock.

“Yeah. We’re going on a road trip. Duh.” He continued. “So we’re going to have to save up enough money for gas, food, and motels and anything else we need to get. How much money do you guys have right now?”

The boys check their bank accounts and Stan is the first to speak up.

“I have $517”

Richie nods

“I ha-have $649” Bill says.

“What about you Ed’s?”

“I have…$36” trying to make up any excuse not to go if for some reason his plan with Lenny didn’t work out.

“Yeesh Eddie is there anything you want to tell us?” Richie says sarcastically.

Eddie looks away rolling his eyes, annoyed.

“Well lucky for you guys I have a savings account that I didn’t know about until last year. It’s been taking out fifty percent of whatever I put in for the past 4 years. You guys I have like almost $3,000!”

“How the fuck do you, Richie Tozier, have more money than all of us?” Stan

“Well, Stanford, I am a responsible young adult. Unlike you hobos.”

“Did…did you just call me Stanford?” Richie nodded

“It’s a nickname Stanson.” Stan gave him a disgusted look.

“…Stanson?”

“Ok that wasn’t my best but that’s beside the point!” He said. “party at my place tonight, I’m inviting you 3 special ladies, you’re free to bring whatever you want but we are basically just gonna hang out and catch up on lost time.“ Richie says. "You are dismissed!!”

The boys get up and Eddie checks the time.

5:47

Shit, I’m gonna be late. He thought

he gets up and starts to walk up the stairs and Richie trails behind him.

“You coming?” He asks.

“I don’t wanna talk to you, Richie.” He states.

“Why?” Eddie turns around and takes a deep breath.

“Do I really have to remind you?” He asked annoyed.

“Oh c’mon Eddie bear I thou-” Eddie cut off the cheery toned boy with venom spewed words.

“Don’t call me that!” He spat. “Don’t call me Ed’s, don’t call me Eddie spaghetti, and don’t you FUCKING….” his eyes glossed over and his voice cracked like ice on a frozen lake that had too much weight put on it. “DARE call me Eddie Bear.” The miniscule puddles built up in the corners of his eyes threatening to overflow. “ my name…is Eddie.” He said with a stern but broken tone.

“O-Ok…sorry.” Richie stammard over his guilt filled words, he hurried past Eddie and caught up to Stan and Bill who were staring back at the boys with a concerned expression. Nobody had ever heard Eddie talk like that, little did they know the old friend they knew had toughened up over the years. He gained a thick skin and learned how to take care of himself but he never told anyone why.

He knew he had hurt Richie’s feelings and he did feel bad. But Eddie felt betrayed by all of his “friends”, especially Richie.

Eddie was scared to look back, afraid that if he looked towards his old friends they would see how broken and alone he felt. So he stayed still, pretending to look at his phone while awkwardly standing on a step he didn’t want to be on. And with that, Richie was gone along with the other boys. They all parted ways and Eddie went back to his dorm.

He checked the time when he got back, wishing he could go back and decide not to go to the meeting, to just go on a date with his boyfriend.

“6:07…” his stomach dropped and he took a deep breath before he tried to reassure himself everything was gonna be fine.

It’s ok Eddie, just say sorry and you know it was your fault. You’ll be fine.

He walked into his dorm room nervously to find his boyfriend sitting on his bed hunched over in a dress shirt and khaki pants.

Eddie was hoping to see his roommate on the right side of his room but unfortunately, it was just him and Lenny.

Eddie closes the door and Lenny stays hunched over with his hands on his face.

“Where…were you.” Lenny says.

“I was in a cla-”

Lenny stands up quickly and points a finger at Eddie and spat out the words “DON’T….lie to me”

Eddie shook his head hearing the venom in his words. “I-I’m not lying Lenny I promise I was in a class with some of my old friends from high school, they called me there because one of our friends Dad die-”

Lenny walked over to Eddie while he was speaking and put his hand around eddies throat, pushing him to the door.

Eddie felt the back of his head hit the door behind him and he winced.

“Eddie I am so good to you. I tell you I’m gonna take you out on a date and I tell you to be ready by 6 and when I come to your room you’re not even HERE!” Lenny tightens his grip on eddies throat causing Eddie to open his mouth and let out a cry for help. Lenny muffles the screams of his helpless boyfriend with his other hand. “That was your last class, Eddie. I know your schedule like the back of my hand now why…are you lying to me huh?”

“Lenny….please…don’t-” Eddie is cut off by Lenny smacking his hand against the door right next to eddies ear. Eddie flinches and Lenny lets out a little laugh.

“Don’t what? Hit you? Me? The best boyfriend you have EVER-” Lenny pulls his victim towards him by his throat and then pushes his head back against the door, harder than before. “-had?”

Eddie grunts when he feels the pain of his head against the door, he looks at Lenny with anger in his eyes.

“Never,” Lenny says in a sarcastic tone.

“You know I love you Eddie bear.” He gives Eddie a kiss on the cheek. Eddie closed his eyes in disgust, he always did that before something bad was about to happen. It was like a warning for Eddie and he hated receiving it.

“If you would just be a good boy I wouldn’t have to punish you every time you make a mistake. You bring this on yourself every. single. time, Eddie.”

Eddie pushes Lenny’s hand away from his throat as soon as his grip loosens enough, and he stares at the towering figure in front of him, panting anger in every puff of breath that was released.

Lenny grins and walks over to the bed. “Now get dressed so we can have a nice night out.”

Eddie shook his head no to himself, knowing Lenny was turned and couldn’t see him.

“I-I’m not going.” Eddie said reluctantly.

Lenny turned and looked at him with his eyes narrowed.

“Don’t be stupid Eddie get dressed.”

“I said I’m not going!” Eddie said loud and proud just what he meant. He was tired of being treated like this. He didn’t do anything wrong. He had been nothing but the best boyfriend he has tried to be for the past 2 years.

Lenny got up from the bed and slowly walked over to the boy. Making each step slower than the last. Taunting Eddie with each second it took for him to get closer.

When he finally arrives standing tall in front of his small prey, he says “you’re gonna walk to that closet-” Lenny points to the closet and looks back at Eddie “-put on those nice clothes I bought for you…and you’re gonna be a good boy when we go out.”

Eddie was angry. For the past 2 years, Lenny has treated him like nothing but a disobeying pet and he was tired of forgiving the man he “loved” for hurting him.

Eddies lips were quivering.

“Fuck….you..” He spat out the 2 words meaning for them to sound cold and venomous and filled with hatred.

Lenny let out a small laugh. “Cute” he said before grabbing eddies neck. Gripping tight and tighter, making Eddie gasp for air, his eyes widening.

“C'mon eddie you couldn’t just be nice and let me talk to you could you, you always have to make such a fuss about shit!”

Eddie starts to throw his body around, trying to push and scratch at Lenny’s face.

As he looked at Lenny’s expression he could see that every second that passed by, his face scrunched up with hate.

Eddie looked down and saw that Lenny’s legs were wide open. He took this opportunity and knees Lenny causing him to fall to the ground and groan in pain. As he unlatched Eddie, he gasped for air and started to cough. Eddie turned around to open the door. He needed to leave. He feared for his life when he was around Lenny sometimes. This was one of those times.

As he was turning the knob, Lenny grabbed eddies arm, tight. He wanted to make sure Eddie never left him. If that meant making him so terrified of him that he was scared to leave then so be it.

Lenny’s grasp on Eddie tightened harder and harder causing Eddie to wince in pain.

“Lenny stop it hurts!” Was all he could say. Lenny didn’t listen. Eddie decided to do something he had never done. He grabbed the pepper spray from his back pocket and used it on his “loving” boyfriend. It’s ironic because Lenny is the one who gave him the pepper spray for protection.

“I don’t want anyone to hurt you when I’m not here to protect you” is what he said when he gave the gift to Eddie.

Lenny fell to the ground and let out another groan of pain.

Eddie opened the door finally and saw his roommate Shaun. He was in shock.

Shit he was listening to everything

“Eddie are you ok!?” Shaun asked, concern in his tone.

Eddie pushed past him “I’m fine” was all he said before rushing to the elevator.

He heard his roommate Shaun yell

“Get the fuck out!” Before the elevator finally opened.

He saw Lenny limping out of the room and ran in the elevator as soon as the opening in the doors was big enough, hoping Lenny didn’t see where he went.

“Eeeeedddiiiiiiieeee” he heard before randomly pushing “4” inside.

The doors closed agonizingly slow for Eddie, he didn’t want to be stuck in an elevator with his boyfriend right now. The doors were almost closed when he saw Lenny pop up right in front of him. Eddie hoped with all his life he didn’t try to stick his hand through the door and give him entry. Luckily Lenny was too late.

He banged on the doors instead causing Eddie to flinch in fear.

He was safe. For now. He let out a huge breath he was holding in. He leaned against the elevator wall, he felt exhausted.

How many times am I gonna have to go through this before I’m dead? He thought.

He went back to the first time Lenny had laid a hand on him.

They had just started dating about 2 weeks beforehand and they decided to go to an end of the year party. We had so much fun he thought.

Eddie had gotten a little tipsy so Lenny had taken him to his dorm. When they got inside both of them realized they were alone.

“So whatdya think babe? Wanna get it oooonn?” Eddie said in a drunken tone.

Lenny looked at him in a weird way. His expression was a mix of disgust and confusion. Eddie had never seen him look like this before, he figured it was just his breath that made Lenny look reluctant.

“C'mon you need to get some rest you’ve had enough fun tonight.”

But Eddie protested. He decided he wanted to tease his new boyfriend like he had been for the past month. But now that they were dating he could take it up a notch.

“Nah c'mon baby I know you waaaaaant meeeeee.” After saying this Eddie grabbed Lenny’s crotch and gave it a light squeeze.

Lenny shoved Eddie onto his bed and smacked the small boy on the left side of his face. If you were in the same room with them with your eyes closed you would hear that slap louder than their voices.

Eddie cupped his now red-stained cheek and looked down to the side. He was too shocked to look at his boyfriend. He felt the sting and saw his eyes start to blur. A single tear streamed down in eye.

“Stop acting like a slut. It’s disgusting.” Lenny said before exiting the room.

Eddie slowly sat on his bed still in disbelief of what just happened.

He stopped crying and thought it was his fault. He caused it.

He sat in the same position until his roommate walked in about 10 minutes later.

“Woah.. dude what happened to you?”

“I-I face planted on the way back.” Eddie lied. “Definitely got too drunk” Eddie gave his roommate a fake laugh to seal the deal.

Eddie layed down and after his roommate passed out he couldn’t stop thinking about all the time he was gonna have to spend with Lenny. He was gonna do his best to not provoke him.

He failed.

_______________

The elevator door opens and Eddie walks out into the empty hallway, he decides to go to the bathroom in hopes if Lenny does use the elevator and chooses the same floor, he doesn’t see Eddie.

When he walks in he peaks his head around the corner to make sure nobody else is inside, he sees nobody and walks to the mirror. He checks his exposed skin for any bruises, this was a thing he did often after Lenny hurt him.

He saw a bruise start to form on his right wrist. He looked up at his neck where his pain felt worse and saw purple and red splotches where Lenny squeezed the hardest. He rubbed his neck to see how bad it felt to the touch and winced as soon as he pushed down lightly.

How am I gonna explain this to anyone? he thought.

He got out his phone and texted Shaun.

<— Shaun

Hey is Lenny out in the hallway? Can you see him? Read 6:17 pm

No, he’s not here anymore I kicked him out. Read 6:18 pm

Ok thank you so much. Read 6:18 pm

Dude really are you ok? Did he hurt you again? I’ll kick his ass you know that. Read 6:18 pm

I’m fine Shaun I can handle it. This is the last time You’re gonna have to see him I’m sorry. Read 6:19 pm

Eddie puts his phone back in his pocket and walks to the handicap stall, it became his favorite stall to cry in. There was a bigger space between him and the door and he could sit in the corner where nobody could see him, he felt safe.

He locked the door and stepped towards the toilet. Once he sat down, he let it all out. All the pain he felt today.

He remembered his mother and how much he thought she would have said i told you so, and truth be told if this was the last thing he was able to tell his mother and that was was the last thing she would have said Eddie would have been happy. “I miss you mommy.” he thought. He remembered the sentence that made him think of her. “Even though he did do all those things to her, he’s still her dad” He thought.

“She was still my mom.” He cried a little louder hoping nobody came in.

Sonia Kaspbrak had died in a fatal car accident while on her way to visit Eddie for his college “Family Parents Weekend”. A stranger who stayed on his phone a little too long had run a red light while his mom was crossing the intersection, He T-boned her and it was predicted that she died during impact. Eddie received a call less than an hour later from his mother’s phone but when he picked up, the voice on the other line wasn’t his mom’s.

He had a small flashback of the conversation he hated remembering.

“Hello is this Edward Kaspbrak?’ Eddie was confused.

“Yes?” He answered.

“We found your contact information in your mother’s emergency contact list on her phone.” He stated. Eddie’s mind was racing to 10 different thoughts per second after hearing emergency.

“E-Emergency?” He said shakily. The man who was talking from Sonia’s phone took a slight pause before continuing, trying to figure out the best way to say it without it affecting the boy in a negative way. Of course, this was impossible.

“Your mother has just been in a car accident,” he said, Eddie’s stomach sank. “She was T-boned at an intersection and…” The sounds of an ambulance siren rang in Eddie’s ear over the man’s voice, he heard an undertone of uncertainty that made Eddie’s knees weak. “Well…she died on impact.” a feeling of regret washed over his body along with tears falling to his feet.

“I love you,” He thought. “I forgot to say I love you before I hung up” he was referring to the conversation he had on the phone with his mother an hour before the accident, they were arguing over how Sonia wanted him back home. It had only been about a month after moving into the dorms and she missed him, Eddie missed her as well but in his mind, he was happy to finally be free.

Sonia treated and raised Eddie the way she did because she was scared of losing him after losing his father to sickness, that was the reason for the pills, the inhaler, the constant doctors visits, the weeks spent inside after getting a cough or sneezing fit. Eddie saw it as torture or a prison even. He just wanted to be a kid, and do kid things without having to worry about his mother always breathing down his neck. But now he saw that she just wanted to protect him. She was paranoid to lose the last love of her life, and Eddie didn’t understand until after she died just how terrible she would have felt if Eddie died. The pain he felt of being alone, he had no one.

She didn’t like the idea of him going to college, didn’t think he needed to get a degree or live away from home. after weeks of bickering, she agreed to Eddie going to college only if it was still in Derry so she could visit. He agreed to the condition knowing he wasn’t going to get her to help pay otherwise. after he found

“I don’t think the kids are going to be nice to you there Eddie bear, and there are lots of ‘sexually transmitted diseases’ that are passed on in college.” She whispered the dirty phrase into the phone and Eddie cringed.

He irritatedly responded with multiple reasons why he should be apart from her and why he deserves his own life especially after having his childhood stolen from her. He listed all the things she deprived him of, and all the things he could be enjoying if it wasn’t for her.

“I was so unhappy mom. I felt like I was a prisoner in my own home, I thought I was gonna go insane if I spent another minute in that house wi-” He cut himself off, not wanting to knowingly hurt his mother’s feelings. He knew what he was saying was hurtful to hear but she needed to listen to his side of the story.

Eddie sighed. “I’ll see you when you get here mom.” he pulled the phone away from his ear.

he heard a faint “I love y-” before he hung up, but in his frustration thought he would be able to make up for not saying it later. He hated himself for thinking that, all he had to do was press her name again and he could say it one last time.

‘that’s all you had to do.” he thought. He knew just how much his words hurt his mom, the truth of how he felt was never meant to hurt her, but in his mind she needed to hear it. she needed to feel the same pain he felt, and he felt terrible for wishing that on the one person who would always be by his side.

He snapped out of his memories and his eyes formed a glossy coating before the tears finally poured over his eyelids, he put a hand over his mouth to muffle any noise that came out but was unsuccessful. “she was still my mom” played on a loop in his mind over and over, he’s felt that ever since she died he had lived up to her expectations as a son. He failed at making friends, he failed at keeping it together a lot of times, he failed at being on his own (he is very dependent of Lenny) and he has failed at being happy. He felt like he should have never left if it meant his mother was gonna die.

He replayed a sentence in his voice over and over when he was feeling alone. “I love you Eddie bear.” a phrase that was often butchered.

“Eddie bear” He thought. Today was hard for Eddie, not only was he choked and bruised by his boyfriend, he had to see people who he thought no longer considered him a friend. He hated to admit it because as much as he wanted to forget the 3, he could never stop loving them. They were the people who made his childhood ok, the people that gave him hope for a better future and often made him forget about his problems of the present.

That all changed 2 years ago. They were now the people in his happy memories, no longer remembered as current friends.

Everyone he loved, who he ever cared for, left him. They had all taken a piece of their heart with them when they left, and now he felt hollow. Like he was nothing but a shell of what once was and what was dying to live again.

He didn’t know his life would turn out this way.

“ Abused, alone, and afraid.” He let out a loud and quick whimper at the thought of what his once happy life had come to. Loud enough for him not to hear the door to the bathrooms open, or to hear the quiet footsteps walk up to the seemingly empty stall. He looked over to the stall door where he saw movement and saw a body in a pair of shoes standing in front of it very close. He heard a knock and then a soft voice.

“Caleb, is that you?” It was Richie.

“This is Richie’s floor!?”

“Caleb, I told you to just come to my room the next time you needed to talk buddy. I promised you I would never let you feel alone remember?” He said.

Eddie was shocked at the words coming from Richie, he didn’t know if he should say something or just not talk. He was replaying the sentence over in his head and scoffed mentally at Richie’s promise.

“It’s a lie caleb…” he thought. “He’s gonna make you think he cares for the longest time and then without warning he’s just gonna…dissapear.” His memories fueled his thoughts, planting his truth in every word.

Eddie gets out a sheet of paper and a pen while he hears Richie.

“Caleb, come out and we can go to my room and talk I promise there is nothing you can’t trust me with buddy.”

Eddie writes in big letters on the sheet then folds it small enough so that it gains enough weight to be slid across the floor and under the stall door to Richie’s feet.

He picks up the note and see’s in big letters “TALK LATER PLZ? I PROMISE.”

“O-Ok well you know where my room is so just come over when you want.” Eddie gave no response, he heard Richie’s footsteps trail off out of the bathroom and he sighed in relief.

“When will this day stop giving me problems?”

taglist: @sten-bros @stenbroughbros @edgyeddiespaghetti @elesbianna @insanityvsintelligence @istanstantheman @pennyfuckerr @richiesrocket

#Reddie #Reddie fic #Stenbrough is coming #my writing #my stories #Only with you #IT fic #IT 2017

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