#also decided i’m gonna post life series art here instead of my usual art blog

[cuterrguy]

trio!!!

(reblogs over likes please!)

[mimzy-writing-online]

Writing A Blind/Visually Impaired Character: Canes, Guide Dogs, O&M

Wow, back in June I decided to take a few months break from blogging to recharge and focus on my mental health. About a month ago I began writing this specific post, slowly and in stages because of how demanding, detailed, and long it is.

I’m not sure when I planned to come back. I have about 200 posts with tags and image description in my drafts folder, waiting to be queued, but I wanted to finish this guide before I fully came back.

Come back with a bang, right?

But this blog, and specifically, my Writing a Blind or Visually Impaired Character  guide, has gotten so much traffic and support that I felt incredibly motivated to come back now.

So I finished the guide, and now here it is. It’s been a year+ in the making. Since the very beginning of this writing advice series about writing blind characters, I’ve promised to write a guide specifically about canes, guide dogs, O&M, and other accessibility measures the blind community relies on. 

In fact, if you look at my master post for this guide (now pinned at the first post on my blog) you’ll find that it was reserved as Part Four, even as other guides and additions were added over the last year.

In this post I’ll be explaining 

What Orientation and Mobility (O&M) is

How one learns O&M

About canes, from different types of canes and their parts, as well as how to use a cane. 

I will be explaining the sensory experiences of using a cane and how to describe it in narrative. 

I will include small mannerisms long-time cane uses might develop. 

At the very end will be a section on guide dogs, but this will be limited to research because I have no personal experience with guide dogs, being a cane user.

Disclaimer: I am an actual visually impaired person who has been using a cane for nearly three years and has been experiencing vision loss symptoms for a few years longer than that. This guide is based on both my experiences and my research. My experiences are not universal however because every blind person has a unique experience with their blindness

What Is Orientation & Mobility

Orientation and Mobility (O&M) is the specific skill of understanding and navigating the world safely and confidently with vision loss.

I’m going to quote Vision Aware’s specific definition [link]

"Orientation" refers to the ability to know where you are and where you want to go, whether you're moving from one room to another or walking downtown for a shopping trip.

"Mobility" refers to the ability to move safely, efficiently, and effectively from one place to another, such as being able to walk without tripping or falling on steps or elevation changes, crossing streets, and using public transportation

O&M can involve :

-learning how to use a cane, as well as what cane works best for you

-safely navigating obstacles with your cane, including stairs, ramps, elevators, uneven or curved sidewalks, through crowds, around furniture

-learning safe strategies for crossing the street

-planning routes to new or recurring locations

-using technology enroute, including GPS and apps like Uber and Lyft

-safely accessing public transportation

-how to ask for help when needed

-working with human sighted guides

A Note on the Blind Community and Their Relationship with Canes

The Perkins School for the Blind estimates that only 2-8% of the blind community rely on canes for navigation. The rest rely on remaining vision, guide dogs, and sighted guides. Only about 2% of the blind community relies on guide dogs however, and to get a guide dog in the first place, a person must go through O&M classes and use a cane for six months before they can sign up for a guide dog.

What this means is that 90% of the blind community don’t use a cane.

I didn’t know this fact until I begun research for this guide, and that number astounds me. 

Truth be told, while I have navigated my life without a cane before, I can’t imagine going back to the way it was before I got it. Even if I only need my cane some of the time, I can’t bear to not use it in the situations I need it. Having a cane made my life a lot easier, a lot safer.

I don’t know what to attribute this number to.

I might attribute it to the concepts of invisible vs. visible disability, internalized ableism, or the feeling of ‘not being blind enough’ for a cane, as well as accessibility to the blind community and knowledge, and access to buying a cane in the first place. I could write a thing about it, but if I try it’s gonna be its own post.

Onward~

How Do You Learn O&M? How Will My Character Learn?

You will have to find an Orientation and Mobility instructor and have them personally teach you O&M skills.

The O&M Instructor is a sighted adult who has gone to school for a bachelor’s degree and gone through O&M training themselves while blindfolded, usually fulfilling a certain requirement of hours (one program required 400 hours of O&M practice blindfolded before you could become certified), and apply for certification to teach O&M.

(Or, as is the process to become an instructor in the United States, where I am from. Becoming an instructor would vary in other countries, I’m sure)

To find an O&M instructor, you would reach out to your local school or foundation for the blind. Finding your nearest school for the blind could be done through…

Google search

Your Ophthalmologist (eye doctor) referring you to a school for the blind

A Social Service Worker reaching out to you and helping you contact the school

Possibly your school (as in grade/primary school, high school, university) reaching out to the nearest school for the blind on your behalf.

Unfortunately, there is not an abundance of schools and foundations, so your nearest might still be a far travel distance. My local school is a 45 minute drive away. For some it might a few hours away. 

This is, again, a U.S. experience, because our land mass is spaced out, and something like a six hour drive feels like nothing to most people (although is highly impractical and very difficult to a blind person who cannot drive themselves), but in other countries a six hour drive would mean crossing several borders, and other countries have different social programs.

There is not a full and complete database of every available school for the blind either, no one website to find every possible option. For example, the school I went to wasn’t listed in most of the website resources I found, even though it has seven branches and locations. 

This is more a complaint at the real life struggle to find disabled services, that there are few comprehensive resources out there. If you ask me, it should be made significantly easier to find and access your local blind communities. Accessibility and disabled services should be easily available everywhere.

If your story is based in a real world location, googling ‘school for the blind (city/county/country)’ should suffice in finding the one most local to your setting.

What might a school for the blind provide for your character?

Well, on top of helping your character connect to an O&M instructor, a school for the blind might provide other rehabilitation classes and access to additional resources.

Those rehabilitation classes could include lessons on:

-Reading/Writing Braille & using brailling machines

-Technology classes for screen readers, magnifiers, etc on your computer and smart phone.

My local school has separate classes specific to Andriod, iOS, JAWS, Zoomtext Fusion

-Independent Living skills (cooking, cleaning, organizing, planning how to get groceries and medications)

-Self Improvement (dancing, art, music, self defense. These were classes my school taught)

The additional resources form these schools might include- 

Referrals to counselors for coping with vision loss

Access to their audio-book and braille library

Access to magnifier devices, brailler machines (think of a typewriter for writing braille)

Some schools also offer grade-school or high-school education, meaning blind children/teens learn there instead of a mainstream school.

Some schools have lodgings for clients to stay at while going through rehabilitation, especially if the vision loss is sudden and severe. They live on-campus and take part in classes. Other schools only have day classes offered and you need to find transportation for every visit. Many schools might have a rehabilitation specialist or O&M instructor visit you in your home.

My local school did the last two. They had on site classes, but the school is a 45 minute drive from me, so I only visited a few times. They were able to send an O&M instructor to me. 

On Wednesdays at 3 pm she would drive to my house and give me lessons on using my cane. Those included her driving me to different locations to practice certain skills (like using stairs and escalators at the mall, or crossing a moderately busy intersection, or visiting a bus station to practice boarding a bus safely and communication with a bus driver where my stop was).

She also brought multiple different types of canes for new students to try out and determine which felt best for them.

The Many Types of Canes

Long Canes are used to sweep the immediate area in front of the cane user as they’re walking. This is the cane type that the general public is most familiar with seeing. There are several sub-types of long canes. They can also be called white canes or probing canes.

[Image Description: Man in business clothes traveling on the side walk with a white and red cane. End Image Description]

White cane can be a misnomer for two reasons: One, the concept of the standard cane for the blind can look different in different countries. In America, the standard is white with a red tip. In some countries the standard is an all-white cane. In some countries an all white cane might mean the user is blind while a white cane with a red tip means the user is deaf-blind.

Two, some companies like Ambutech allow customers to customize their cane colors and tips. Example: Molly Burke’s hot pink cane. My white cane with a purple tip. An all black or all sky blue or all red or all purple cane. A black cane with a blue or purple tip. Ambutech also allows customers to request neon-colored reflective tape to make their canes more visible at night.

Probing cane is not a term I’ve personally heard before, but it is a term Vision Aware uses on their website.

There are three main types of long canes:

Non-folding Canes: a cane that has no sections, cannot be folded or collapsed.

[Image Description: stock photo of man in business suit with a non-folding all white cane. End Image Description]

Folding Canes: The cane has 3-6 sections depending on its height. The taller the cane, the more sections it has. The sections are separate pieces that are made to snap together and are held together by a strong elastic rope inside the sections.

[Image Description: a folding cane with four sections, white with a red tip, and a rolling marshmallow tip. End Image Description]

Telescopic Canes: in which the sections slide into each other, similar to a telescope/spyglass, rather than pulling apart and folding. The handle is the widest section, and the tip section is the thinnest.

[Image Description: Three stacked images of a blue telescopic cane. First is of the cane completely collapsed. Second is of the sections partially sliding out. Third is the cane sections completely out and locked.]

Beyond that is also the Identification Cane. The function of this cane is to visibly identify the user as blind. It’s not used for O&M the way long canes are, there is no sweeping out the next two steps. It can be used as a support cane, however. 

It’s appeals most to the elderly who not only make up a huge percentage of the blind community, but might also benefit most from having both a support cane and an identifier for their blindness, in case they need assistance. 

[Image Description: identification cane with curved handle. All white with red tip. End Image Description]

A note: From what I’ve heard in the blind community, some people prefer solid/non-folding canes over folding or telescopic canes. The reason for this is that solid canes transfer vibration better than folding or telescopic canes. It’s said that the more sections a cane has, the less precise the vibrations are. 

Some cane users train themselves to understand the vibrations of the surfaces their canes are touching. It tells them what kind of surface they’re on (wood vs. marble vs. concrete), if there are nearby objects to their cane. While I rely somewhat on cane vibrations to tell me what surface I’m walking on (more on that later), it is beyond my current O&M abilities to use cane vibrations to sense nearby walls or objects.

Cane vibrations are just an additional information-sense to add to the others in use, and extra bit of data input.

Parts of the Cane: Materials, Handle, Tips, Sections, Elastic Band

Material

The three most common types of materials used to make canes are aluminum, carbon-fiber, and fiberglass. Each material has some drawbacks and benefits.

The ideal cane is lightweight and durable. It should be strong enough to withstand hitting something solid without bending or splintering.

Aluminum is strong and durable, but heavy. If it’s damage, it’s more likely to bend than break entirely. A bend can be straightened out, but it takes considerable strength.

Carbon-fiber is lightweight and durable. It’s stronger than fiberglass, and it can bend out of shape rather than splintering.

Fiberglass is lightweight but a bit rigid. If it breaks, it splinters.

Handles and Elastic Bands

While some canes can have specialized grips (plastic, wood, corkboard) the most common handle material is a black rubber handle that is about ten inches long, give or take. In the previous photos you’ve seen, the canes have had black rubber handles.

Here is an example of a cane with a wood-mesh material used as the handle.

[Image Description: a four section white cane with a red tip and a orange wood mesh handle, with black elastic band attached. End Image Description]

The benefits of black rubber handles over others are that it’s easier to hold onto, especially if your palms are wet or sweaty, than a plastic or polished wood handle. It also wouldn’t show the indents or scratches from wear and tear daily use. I’m guessing that is cheaper to make on the manufacturing standpoint, and thus is conveniently the standard.

Pay attention to the black elastic band attached to the handle in the above photo. Notice how it has a tied off loop? That is so that when the cane is folded, that loop can be stretched over the folded sections to hold it together.

[Image Description: a four section folding cane folded up with the black band around them. End Image Description]

Additional benefits or functions of the elastic could be to use it as a wrist strap while using the cane, or hanging it up on a hook while not in use. I tend to have my cane folded up and tuck my wrist under the strap to hold it more securely while carrying it. Images of that ahead in my cane-isms section.

Cane Height

Ideal cane heights depend on the user. For most users, you want your cane height to be to your shoulder, give or take a few inches. You might need a longer cane if you are a fast walker with long strides, or a shorter cane if you prefer to hold your cane at a lower angle than is traditional.

What I mean when I talk about holding your cane at a certain angle is that the standard is to hold your cane handle in your dominant hand and position it in front of your belly button, moving it side to side with each step. Traditional grip methods are holding your hand palm side up with your cane in hand, or to hold the cane at the section joint closest to the handle with what is called the pencil grip, holding the cane like a fat pencil.

Depending on the height, a cane can have anywhere between three and six sections. Longer canes have more sections. The top section includes the handle, and the last section includes the stripe color (traditionally red, unless customized) and the tip. 

The sections of the cane are generally slightly reflective, regardless of color. If you hold a cane up to the light you’ll see tiny specks of light reflected back, almost like very fine, tiny particle glitter paint. This detail is important in cane production because it makes the cane more visible at night, especially if something like car headlights reflect off it while someone is crossing.

Additional visibility at night can be added by wrapping stripes of reflective tape along the shaft.

Cane Tips

There are several different tip options for canes.

[Image Description: four different types of cane tips on a blue background with labels. From left to right: marshmallow tip, ball tip, pencil tip, glide tip.]

[Image Description: a rolling marshmallow tip with a blue background. End Image Description]

[Image Description: Bandu basher tip with a white background. For anyone not familiar with the name, the long, curved cane tip that looks like a hockey stick. End Image Description]

Some of these tips are better for the tap-tap method of cane travel, as in tapping the spots where you plan to step. They can also be used to feel out the shapes of objects, stairs, etc. 

marshmallow tip, pencil tip, 

They should not be scraped over surfaces, the tips will wear down much faster than they should. There are better tips for rolling over surface

Some tips are better for the rolling method of cane travel, which is the method I use. They aren’t great for tapping, but it can be done in a pinch. 

rolling marshmallow tip, ball tip, glide tip

The Bandu Basher tip, the hockey stick shaped tip, is best for hovering an inch off the ground and lightly tapping objects. It could be tapped. It should not be scraped over the ground like a rolling tip. It hovers.

After enough use, the tips will wear down and need to be replaced. The part of the tip that has the most contact with the ground, usually the edge of the shape, gets scrapes, sands down, and eventually begins to look like it was shaved off while still having bits of plastic still gripped to it.

Never fear, cane tips can be removed and replaced when they wear out, replacing the whole cane is not necessary.

Some tips slip on or twist on. Others hook on. By hook on I mean that the elastic that keeps the cane sections together also has a loop at the tip end that a hook onto and stay held into place. Look back at the photo of the rolling marshmallow tip and you will see the hook that attaches to the black elastic.

Cane tips sell for about 5 - 10 U.S. dollars, plus shipping, so it’s advised to buy several back up tips with your cane. I replace my rolling marshmallow tips once every six to twelve months. I don’t know if that’s considered too much or too often. The last time I needed to replace mine was June 2019 (It’s July 2020 at the date of writing this, but I’ve hardly left my home for the last six months because of COVID-virus related quarantine/social distancing.)

Sensory Details/Describing What Using a Cane Feels Like

Every surface type feels and sounds different when tapping or rolling a cane over it. It’s this difference that tells us a lot about our environment.

It tells us when we stepped off the side walk onto the grass, when we’ve walked inside because the concrete changes to wood or carpet flooring. These little details become trail markers too, useful for places we anticipate traveling to a lot.

Example: A week before every semester in college, I would travel to each of the classrooms and learn necessary routes. I learned that certain paths had giant cracks in the sidewalk that would be distinct enough to use as a trail marker to where I was on a path, or that certain paths went from cement to gravel, or cement to brick.

Carpet: The sound is very soft, and if you’re rolling your cane across carpet it sounds like a quiet swish-swish-swish. Tapping sounds depend on how thick the carpet padding underneath is, the thicker the carpet the softer the sound. If there’s a lot of padding then taps don’t make much sound, but if the padding is thin or underneath the carpet is tile or concrete then you hear a louder thudding tap. It’s still pretty quiet. If you’re rolling the cane you would feel a little bit of drag, the cane moves slower over the carpet. The thicker or shaggier the carpet is, the more drag it has.

Wood floor: Cane tips make rumbling sounds when rolling over wood floors. The smoother the wood, the less it rumbles. There’s a little vibration moving from the cane tip, through the cane and into your hand as you roll over wood planks. Very small. The more sensitive you are to vibrations, the more you feel it. Tapping makes hallow, thudding sounds on the wood. Sometimes they sound a little snappish if you’re tapping harshly. You feel stronger vibrations when tapping. Older wood feels softer, with more give. New wood is stronger, more vibrations in the cane.

Tile:It depends on the size of the tiles and the wideness of the grout lines, but it’s not a pleasant feeling. Tiles have grout lines, which are little divets between the tiles. The smaller the tiles or rougher the grout lines are, the more the cane vibrates in your hands. Every bump is felt running from the cane to your hand. The sound is a little grating too. Imagine fifty sets of stiletto shoes walking on tile, that’s what it sounds like when you roll your cane over rough, small tiles. Larger tiles with smoother grout lines aren’t so bad. Tapping the tile with your cane sounds like one really loud step of a stiletto heal, one step for each tap. Tile floors are usually found in bathrooms, kitchens, and industrial locations where the room is going to have harder walls (more tile, concrete, etc) and few furniture, so the room echoes more.

Linoleum: is a smooth even surface. It feels like your cane is gliding when you roll it, barely feeling any vibrations. The rolling sounds are very soft because of the lack of bumps, however tapping sounds are a bit louder. Not as snappish as tile or marble, but almost.

Marble: is similar to linoleum in its smoothness. Your cane glides when rolling. Tapping sounds are sharp. Because marble floors are common in high end malls, luxury homes, and fancy office building entries, places that usually have high ceilings and hard walls with minimal decorations and minimalist furnishing, those sharp tapping sounds may echo. Assuming there isn’t too much noise and the environment is relatively quiet.

Concrete: (I’m referring to concrete found in parking garages and industrial buildings, not sidewalk) It depends on the age of the concrete and how it’s maintained. Old concrete with lots of cracks and mini-craters feels very different from smooth concrete that was set less than a year ago. With old concrete there’s a rattling sound as your cane tip rolls over the bumps and those vibrations travel up your cane. New concrete can feel similar to marble or linoleum. The taps are loud thuds on dull concrete and sharper on new concrete.

Sidewalks: are made of concrete, but in my experience they feel a little different than the above example. Sidewalks have a grittier surface, they’re slightly rougher, more dry. There’s a bit more rolling cane vibration with sidewalks and the taps have more of a thud sound. And because they’re outside, you’re unlikely to hear any echoes unless you’re walking in an alley or between buildings.

Asphalt: is one of the worst surfaces in my personal opinion. Asphalt is the material used in roads and it’s made to be rough and gritty so that car tires can grip onto it and not lose traction while driving. The older and more damaged it is, the rougher it is. Because it’s rough the vibrations are much stronger, sometimes irritatingly so. I can’t roll my cane over asphalt because the bones in my hand can’t handle those kinds of vibrations, so I almost always use the tapping method instead. The sounds are gritty and dull. Unfortunately, asphalt is an unavoidable surface, unless you can find a way to never need to cross a street or walk through a parking lot.

Note: the white or yellow lines that have been painted into asphalt sometimes feel smoother because of the material they’re made of and because they’re added after the asphalt has been laid down.

Note: There’s something called tarmac which is similar to asphalt, used for a similar purpose, and more common in the U.K. (I believe) but I can’t say that I’ve ever knowingly walked on it so I have no personal experience to give you.

Gravel: Another one of those evil surfaces. Gravel is just loose rocks and they’re common in rural roads, driveways, some landscaping. The looseness of them is what makes them untrustworthy. It makes a crunching sound. If you roll your cane, you’re likely to end up tossing small bits of rock and dust here and there. If you tap, you’ll hear the crunch but your brain might not translate that into “it’s gravel” until you’re walking on it and only realize when you walk over it and the sharp rocks begin digging into your shoes.

Wood Chips: I don’t have any experience with this since vision loss and getting a cane, so I’m using my memories of being on the playground in grade school because the surface on the playground was wood chips. I’d say wood ships are a love child between gravel and wood floors. The surface is loose and rolling your cane over it would kick up loose chips and dust. It would probably sound similar to walking on sand I think, because wood chips are much softer than gravel but not as consistent as wood. If it’s rained recently, then the waterlogged wood chips sound even softer.

Hard Dirt: I’m thinking dirt roads here, which are a lesser evil to asphalt and gravel. They can be rough like all roads, but the material isn’t has hard and solid. Rolling your cane will kick up dust on a dry day, but if it rained a few days ago you might hear a soft crunch as you roll over wet dirt. Tapping will have a very soft thud.

Soft Dirt: Think gardening dirt. Because it’s so soft, it makes very little sound and is easily kicked up. There’s a bit of drag, about the same or slightly more drag than grass or sand. Tapping has almost no sound but you might feel a slight give as your tip lands in the dirt, a slight resistance as it sinks in.

Mud: Yuck. I’m imagining this getting in my cane tip and how gross it would be after. Sound and feeling depend on how wet the mud is. Wet mud sounds slurpy. There’s more squish if you roll or tap your cane. Your character might not identify it right away until their shoes begin slipping as they walk over the mud. This is a personal experience. Drier mud sounds soft and feels almost solid underneath your cane. Wetter mud has more drag for a rolling cane. Muddy areas are also generally uneven because top soil has been displaced, so muddy hills and fields have unexpected but usually subtle changes in elevation.

Puddles: have both a slurpy and splash-splash sound. The slurpy sound is more common with rolling cane techniques. The splash sound is more common with tapping. The deeper the puddle, the louder is sounds and the more drag you experience. I am not fond of this texture/experience.

Snow: I have zero experience with snow since the development of blindness. So no experience of what it’s like to walk through with a cane. This is something I hope a blind reader can inform me on so I can edit this at a later date. My best guess is that it has a soft crunch, softer than the crunch of shoes in snow. A lot of drag too. Rolling through snow would probably be near impossible, especially if it’s deep snow or hard packed. Again, my best guess. The last time I experienced snow was when I was twelve.

Grass: One of my least favorites personally. Too much drag. Worse than shag carpeting. It’s very soft and doesn’t make much sound either. Like a crisp crunch you can barely hear. If the grass is wet or frosty you hear it a bit more crunch.

Surface with fallen Autumn leaves: Leaves everywhere! This is a bit dependant on whatever surface the leaves are on. It would soften the sound of cement, but there would be a louder crunch on grass. If the leaves are big and very curvy/pocketed then they’re easy to push aside. Smaller, flatter leaves don’t push as easily. The driest ones will crunch under your cane. It’s fun sometimes, if you’re the kind of person who likes stepping on leaves on purpose, but if you can’t see the leaves it might lose some of its fun and be more unexpected. 

Sand: I’ve never personally taken my cane to the beach, despite living so close to the coast. The reason is because beach sand is so squishy and loose that it’s already impossible to stay steady on your feet. The sand is always sinking under your feet, unless you’re next to the water line and the dampness has made it firmer. So a cane isn’t very useful to me at the beach. Not to mention that sand isn’t something you want inside your cane joints if you want the cane to last. Sand will erode and damage the joints, regardless of if they’re metal or plastic. If I were to take my cane to the beach, it would make the softest crunching-swishy noise of sand sliding over sand, similar to what your footsteps sound like on sand, but possibly even quieter because canes are lighter.

Side Note: My mother sarcastically asked about rolling your cane through dog poop or gum left on the floor. Can’t say I’ve ever rolled through it, so couldn’t tell you. Use your imagination I guess, Mum

The Invention of Tactile Paving

These are amazing! Tactile Paving are those yellow (or sometimes grey) bumpy squares you see on ramps leading into parking lots or when crossing the street. In 1965, Japanese engineer Seiichi Miyake used his own money to develop a tactile brick that you could feel even when walking over it with shoes, and he designed this because a friend of his was losing their vision and he wanted to help. These are amazing, and accessible to everyone, even the blind who don’t have a cane or guide dog. These are literal life savers. Before I got my cane, if I felt those bumps under my shoes I knew to immediately stop because I was about to walk into the road. Because less than 10% of the blind community uses canes or guide dogs, this is the most accessible form of blind aide available.

[Image Description: a yellow rectangle of tactile paving in front of a ramp leading into a parking lot. End Image Description]

Note: similar detail, most doors in commercial buildings (in my localized experience) have a metal plate on the threshold to hold the door in place so there are no cracks underneath. The metal scraping sound when you roll or tap your cane on it is distinct but temporary and non-repeating, so it’s a good indication that you’ve reached and passed the threshold.

Blind-isms

I have a section in this guide about blind-isms, but these ones are focused specifically on cane use.

-Do. Not. Touch. My. Cane. Don’t. Just fucking don’t.

-The above ism comes from the fact that our cane is our safety net, an extension of our body, our eyes, the one thing that makes sure we’ll get somewhere safely. For that reason, blind people hate having their canes (or their on duty guide dogs) touched by strangers, acquaintances, friends we’re not very close to, some family members.

Important Note: That is a universal thing for disabled people. Don’t. Touch. Their. Mobility Aides. It’s assault. Touching someone’s wheelchair or pushing them around without their expressed permission is assault. Moving their wheelchair while the user is currently standing is assault. (Most wheelchair users are not paralyzed, but they still need the wheelchair because of their medical condition, which is not your business to know). It doesn’t matter if the wheelchair is in the way, the disabled person needs it right there, do not touch it. Touching or grabbing someone’s support cane or their long cane is assault. Touching or moving someone’s walker is assault. Touching, poking at, or tampering with someone’s hearing aids is assault. Touching their oxygen tank or cannula is assault.

Back on topic-

-Idle motions with your cane while waiting in line. I often rest my chin on my cane or lean on it

-twirl my cane like a staff when I’m alone and no one can see. I would not ever do this in front of anyone because I don’t want anyone thinking it’s a toy or they can just touch or grab it. I’m just a little childish and bored sometimes and idle motions are a common thing for people with ADHD.

-When carrying my folded cane inside (like say a store) I hang it from my wrist by the strap.

-Keeping my cane within arms reach at all times, even in situations where I don’t need it currently. Example: if we’re doing a classroom assignment where I need to leave my desk, I know the classroom well enough to not use my cane, but I won’t leave it at my desk, ever. (This does not apply at home. And in the homes of a very few, very trusted friends I will leave it somewhere I deem safe.)

-Having a set, specific place in my home (living with my immediate family, who almost never have guests) for my cane. In my case, it’s the top of an antique dresser in the living room, across from the door. It has a little bowl for my sunglasses as well. If I move out and have roommates, my cane will be in my room.

-Love me a bag or backpack that has enough space to discretely store your cane, but most of my bags cannot do that.

-People with folding canes develop a muscle memory for folding and unfolding their cane, so they can do it without really thinking about it.

-Unfolding my cane: I hold the black handle between my thumb and palm with my other fingers folded over the remaining three sections, cane tip pointing up. I slide the elastic over the tip, loosen my four fingers and roll my wrist to the side. The red colored section unfolds first and snaps into place with its neighboring section. I roll my wrist in the opposite direction so the next white section can unfold and snap into place with it’s neighboring section. Roll it back in the first direction and the third section snaps into place with the handle. My four section cane is now unfolded and straight.

-Sometimes I just grab the black handle and let the sections fall and unfold as they will, but this is less controlled and risks your cane bumping into something or someone.

-Folding my cane: I start with the black handle, lifting it up so the joints unlock. I fold it down, grab both sections in my hand and lift the second section away from the third and fold it over. Wrap my hand over all three sections and unlock it from the red section.

-Because I have a four section folding cane, the cane tip and the handle are on the same side while the metal joints are on the opposite side. Those metal joints are what my elastic slips over.

-A three or five folding cane will have the head of the handle (and its elastic) on the opposite side of the cane tip, and you will be folding the elastic over the cane joints and tip.

-A six section cane has the tip and handle facing the same direction like the four section cane.

-People with non-folding canes like leaning their canes up against walls and other objects when not in use. Corners are popular, the corner of a desk up against a wall too.

-But oh god the frustration when the cane randomly rolls out of place and hits the floor, it’s a combination of “Not again” and “did that really just happen” and “you had one job. one job.”

-Sitting with our cane tucked between our legs. Picture a bit of man spreading, the cane tip leaned against the side of our foot to keep it stable and the cane leaning against our shoulder or opposite knee, possibly also held securely with our fingers too.

-The no-manspreading alternative of that is with the cane leaning against our shoulder, cane tip resting on the toe of our shoe or the outside of it, held securely with our fingers or our arm wrapped around it, elbow hooking it.

(Okay, a while back I was looking for photos of someone using a cane to use as a reference for drawing Ulric. I only found three, and two of them were Daredevil promo photos. Which, no offense to Charlie Cox, but he is not blind and he does not use a cane in his daily life, he does not have that relationship a blind person has with a cane and the concept of a fifth limb, and it shows. So the photos were stiff and unusable, so I had to like use several photo references of different poses and Frankenstein them together to get what I wanted.

And I still haven’t finished the painting... fuck)

-In a car with a non-folding cane: 

-Right passenger seat- The cane tip goes all the way into the corner of the foot well to the right of my feet, with the handle resting over my right shoulder or on the seatbelt. It pokes a bit past my headrest. The longer the cane, the harder it is to tuck into a car.

-The U.K. / Austrailian / New Zealand / Japan version of this (because they drive on the left side of the road with their drivers seats on the right side of the car) it’s like this: Cane tip in the foot well to the left of my feet, handle on my left shoulder or on the seatbelt.

Backseat: the absolute worst. There’s less foot well room, and if you’re in a sedan there is almost no room behind your shoulder for the handle. I position my cane diagonally with the handle on the shoulder closest to the door and the tip next to the foot closest to the middle. 

-For this reason, no one with a non-folding cane will want to be sitting in the backseat.

About Guide Dogs

While my knowledge of guide dogs is limited only to what I can research and not personal, I will give you some basic facts and practical knowledge from said research.

Guiding Eyes for the Blind estimates that there are 10,000 guide dog teams out there in the world. That makes up 2% of the blind and visually impaired community.

Guide Dog Training

Becoming a guide dog is the most difficult form of dog training there is. The majority of dogs who enter guide dog training wash out and either become family dogs or go into a different type of service dog training, like medical response or PTSD/anxiety response, or possibly become therapy dogs, which is a career altogether different from being a service dog.

Guide dogs go through two or three years of training, which includes puppy training, basic socialization, proper behavior when on duty and actual guide training. Most service dogs only go through a year to a year and a half of training before they are partnered with a disabled handler.

Between the cost of training, the cost of housing and feeding the dog and the cost of vet bills from birth until being partnered with a blind handler, the overall cost of a guide dog is something like 30k to 40k. While most service dog training organizations require handlers to fundraise and pay for the cost of training (usually something like 15-30k), guide dog organizations give their dogs to qualified blind clients for free. These organizations pay for the dog costs through their own fundraising and charities. Fortunately for these organizations, guide dogs are a highly respected field and have a lot more charity directed their way, while other service dog types have less public interest when it comes to charity.

Guide Dog organizations have an application process, requirements, and a wait-list before you can be partnered with a guide dog.

Requirements to get a guide dog are (usually) as follows: 

Must be legally blind (as in not visually impaired, but legally blind) and have had at least six months of O&M with a cane and demonstrate enough O&M stills to navigate by oneself. They also require you to be responsible enough to independently care for a dog, able to keep up with training and retraining of the dog, as well as financially able to handle food and vet bills (which are at least a few thousand dollars every year).

The reason for cane training before getting a guide dog is because the dog cannot do everything for you. You, the dog handler, are responsible for knowing where you are and how to get where you need to be.

The dog can’t read stop signs or tell when a light is green or red, nor do they have GPS to find a brand new location nor can they learn that route on the first try, nor will they know exactly where you want to go when you say “Starbucks” or “library” or “school” or “mom’s house” and guide you all by themselves. That falls on you, the dog handler, having enough orientation and mobility skills to know when a street is safe to cross and knowing how to learn new routes and how to keep on route and make sure you make the correct turns. A guide dog can’t communicate with bus drivers for you either, they don’t know which number bus to use or what stop to choose. That falls on the blind person’s own skill.

Other Guide Dog Resources

Molly Burke is a guide dog user and has made several videos about what kind of work guide dogs do, her personal experience being a guide dog user for over ten years, how she got a guide dog, specific commands, unique experiences with things like travel, etc. She has a playlist all about guide dogs, but here are some of my favorite videos.

How Guide Dogs Guide A Blind Person

Guide Dog User Answers the Most Googled Questions about Guide Dogs

How I Met My First Guide Dog

Final Thoughts:

There is a lot more to be said about Orientation and Mobility, such as:

How do you safely cross the street with a cane?

How do you learn new routes?

How does getting a cane significantly change your life?

How do family, friends, and strangers react to you “suddenly” having a cane?

I could also write a ton on other tools the blind community relies on so strongly, such as screen readers, magnifiers, etc. In fact, I originally promised to include those in my master post when Part Four was titled  Part Four: What Your Blind Character Needs to Survive and Not Die. However, this guide is ages long and it feels better to focus on this specific topic for here.

Did you like this guide?

Consider checking out my other guides, links of which can be found on the master post here.

Follow my blog, I write and curate writing advice guides outside of blindness, I reblog writing memes with image descriptions, reblog soothing aesthetic photos with image descriptions, talk about disability, lgbtqa+ issues, ableism, and mental health.

If you want to further support me, this is the link to my ko-fi (however there is no such requirement nor pressure to do so, and please don’t worry about it, especially if you are in a financial situation that can’t afford it)

[thegreenwolf]

(This post was originally posted on my blog at https://thegreenwolf.com/its-okay-to-not-hustle/)

There’s this meme going around Facebook right now, saying “If you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, your side hustle started, or more knowledge, you never lacked time. You lacked discipline.” Thankfully multiple people have already skewered it, but it continues to be shared around by the sort of person who is trying to one-up everyone else, or who’s just plain clueless–or, for that matter, just trying to guilt you into buying whatever they’re selling.

Now, there’s not a damned thing wrong with self-promotion. That’s how indie artists, authors, and other self-employed folks get the word out. You have to be able to talk good talk in order to get people’s attention. But leading with this meme? Guilting people for not leaping from sudden unemployment straight into the thick of the ever-shifting gig economy? That ain’t gonna fly, Brocephus.

You Have Good Reasons to Slack

Excuse me while I dust off my counseling psych degree a sec, here. *ahem* We are in a very sensitive, turbulent time right now. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in a century in the Western world. We are in a hugely traumatizing situation here. Not just for the financial losses, but the fact that COVID-19 has killed thousands of people and left many more with permanent lung damage. We still haven’t gotten a handle yet on exactly how contagious this thing is, how long you’re contagious for, or whether you’re immune once you’ve had it, assuming you survive. We don’t have adequate testing, emergency rooms estimate that for every positive test there are 10-20 people out there infected and untested, and everyone with a cough is suddenly Schroedinger’s COVID case. Governments worldwide are slow to react in spite of the rising death toll. People have had friends and family die horribly from this thing in a short period of time. Even people who didn’t already have issues with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses are feeling stressed, strained and scared–and, yes, traumatized. This image is guilt-tripping people who are actively being traumatized.

So we’re already starting with a populace that is dealing with this collective trauma, as well as whatever personal trauma each individual is experiencing. Not always easy to seize the day when you’re going through that. And I can think of a few other reasons that might further complicate this whole “Just get a side gig!” thing:

–They’re a parent who suddenly has all their kids at home, all the time, demanding time and attention and food, AND they still have to work eight hours a day from home, or maybe even more if their S.O. is unemployed/sick/etc. By the way, if someone trots out Isaac Newton or William Shakespeare or some other historical guy who managed to do epic things during a pandemic, remember that they usually had wives or servants to do all the laundry and cooking and cleaning and (if applicable) childcare for them.

–They’re disabled or chronically ill, and don’t have the ability/energy/etc. to just go and make something happen, just like that. Imagine if you just randomly got the fatigue from a really bad flu, and you never knew whether it was going to last a day or a month. And if you tried exerting yourself when you were feeling better, chances are you’d slip back into fatigue-land. That’s what a lot of my chronically ill/etc. friends have to deal with, to say nothing of issues with accessibility of resources for starting a side gig.

–They don’t have any money for the supplies needed to start a side hustle, or the supplies have been hoarded by hobbyists preparing for a Pandemic Staycation.

–They don’t have the skills for something that just requires what they already have (like, for example, writing on a laptop you already happen to own). Often these skills are things that can’t be perfected in a few weeks at home, but may take years to develop before they’re really marketable–like, for example, the skill to make a decent living on side hustles.

–They have anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions that make it hard to function even in the best of times, but even moreso in this…well…mess. Even people who were mentally healthy before are going to be developing diagnosable anxiety and depression disorders before all’s said and done. And speaking from personal experience, those of us who look successful on the outside can still be internally hamstrung by these conditions at times.

–Plus there’s the fact that we’re not supposed to, you know, leave our homes, which narrows down the field of potential side gigs by a lot.

Even doing something less financially-wrought like learning a new skill or subject takes time, energy, and sometimes money, any or all of which may be scarce for the reasons above and more.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I am saying all of this as someone who is arguably an expert on the side gig. I have spent the past eight and a half years 100% self-employed (and a lot longer doing it part-time) as an author and artist, able to cover all my bills and expenses, and for a time I was the primary breadwinner of a multi-person household. I have like ten different things I was doing for a living before this all hit, a pretty diverse set of streams of income, even if most of them just up and evaporated in the past few weeks. And while I’m definitely a hell of a lot leaner now than I was a month ago, I still have my head above water for the moment. So I think I know side gigs.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m overall healthy. I have a dog who is a lot less demanding of my time than kids would be. I have my own space where I can focus more or less without interruption. More importantly, I have the skills, the knowhow, the drive and the personality to go out and seek new opportunities. And I’m used to fluctuations in income, though admittedly this one’s unprecedented. Don’t gauge yourself by where I am now. I’ve spent twenty-two years building up my art business, my first book came out in 2006, and I’ve had a series of really good opportunities come my way that I had the privilege to be able to make the most of. I am not your measuring stick, so don’t say “Well, if she can do it why can’t I? I must suck!”

If you’re feeling crappy because you aren’t hopping to it and carpeing the diem and getting everything done, here’s what I have to say to you: Look, you just had your world turned upside-down. Job loss, scarce commodities, sudden lack of outside childcare, restricted movement and inability to be around much of your support system, and did I mention a pandemic is happening, too? Any single one of those things would be difficult for just about anyone to deal with, never mind all at once. And I don’t even know what all else has already been going on in your life–unstable or unsafe living situation, other health issues, breakups and other losses, interpersonal conflicts. You know, normal life stuff.

You’re Not Lazy, or Screwing Up, or (Gods Forbid) Undisciplined

It is totally okay if all you’re doing right now is surviving. It’s okay if you feel like you’re drowning, overwhelmed by all that’s happening both on a global level and more personally. It’s okay if all you can manage right now is to get out of bed and stumble through each day a moment at a time, struggling with a tidal wave of emotions. It’s okay if you’re just trying to keep your kids busy, dealing with a crowded home every single day, or trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. It’s okay if, instead of firing up DuoLingo or opening an Etsy shop, you spend your evenings vegging to Netflix or reading a book or playing hours and hours of Animal Crossing.

Not every moment in your life has to be about being productive even in the best of circumstances, and that goes exponentially so right now. Be patient with yourself, and be kind. You may be one of those folks who literally has to spend all their time scrabbling to try to cover the bills or get some leeway from bill collectors, and you have to dedicate your waking time hunting for resources just to try to get through this week. Believe me, I feel for you, I have a lot of friends in that situation right now, and I hope all of you can find some relief and assistance.

May I suggest something? If you have the energy for something more than the bare essentials of getting by, put that energy toward self-care, whatever you can manage under the circumstances. You can use it to recuperate, to rebuild your emotional and physical resilience. That way if things get rough again in the future, you have more internal reserves to build on. If your usual methods don’t work or aren’t accessible due to lockdown, ask others what they’re doing to keep themselves grounded in this trying time.

Just because you have more time doesn’t mean you don’t have to throw yourself right into something productive! Don’t feel pressured to just go-go-go the moment you have a little freedom to move. If you do decide you want to try a side gig, or a new skill, or learn all about some specialized topic of interest, go for it! If you have the energy and attention and opportunity to pursue something new, it can be a great coping skill during this traumatic time. Just don’t pressure yourself; keep it fun.

One last thing: I want you to save the image I have at the top of this post. And then if you see someone post that meme, saying “Come on, you lazy bums, get up and make that side gig happen! Learn new stuff! Do all the things! No excuses!” you pull out this version, and you look at the edits, you remember that it’s okay to be where you are, and you get back to doing things at your own pace no matter what someone else says. (I find visualizing stapling a printout of the edited version to the offender’s forehead to also be therapeutic, but that may just be me.)

Hang in there, okay? It’s going to be a rough time, but you’re not alone, and what you’re feeling right now is shared by so many people. So just let yourself be where you are in this moment, and we’ll see what hope tomorrow brings. And remember that whatever you’re capable of in this moment: it’s enough.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider supporting my work on Patreon, buying my books here on my website, buying my art and books on Etsy, or tipping me at Ko-fi!

[am-molloy]

20 Facts About Me: A.M. Molloy

Hello everyone! Welcome back (or to) my blog.

Today I thought I would share with you all 15 random facts that you may or may not know about me. These factoids may not have to with my writing life, but they’ll help you understand who I am as a person. So! Let’s take a dive into my life.

If you didn't know this already, I have a cat named Sorren. She is my soul-kitty and the love of my life. We’ve barely been apart the 11 years she’s been in my life. I wasn’t going to accept any job abroad unless I could bring her.

I love to travel. In fact, my first big travel was to a summer camp in China when I was 15, way back in 2004.

So far, I’ve been to (in order), China, America, Japan ( x3 ), Korea, (x3 ), Belgium, Germany, Spain, Portugal, Hong Kong, and Thailand. Being Canadian, I’ve obviously been to Canada, though I haven’t travelled as much within my own country. I do plan on visiting more countries soon, but for now, I’m planning another return visit to Japan for my upcoming summer vacation.

I am a 2nd-degree black belt in Tae Kwon Do, although it’s been a few years since I practiced due to financial issues. I would love to practice again, especially as I live in Korea now, but now is not the right time for me. I still have all my equipment and remember most of my forms so perhaps someday!

Side note, back in the day when I did practice, I used to go to competitions and would usually win first or second place. Usually first for forms and second for sparing. I rarely got lower and if I did it was for sparing. Forms were my strong suit.

I used to be an animator. I went to an art school studying animation and graphics and working in my field after graduation. Though if I’m being honest, I was never the best at animation. Still, art was more my thing. So when I worked for Contendo, I eventually gravitated towards mostly audio work and eventually becoming their Senior Audio Editor. I still do art, but it’s now for fun rather work. And let’s be honest, the art I did for Contendo isn’t what you would have expected me to be doing. At Contendo we made training videos for oil and gas companies.

Below is my super old demo reel, and I have improved since 2009 But this is to just show you what I used to do. I was by far the best but I enjoyed doing it all the same.

Note: The video is from my old YouTube channel from college. I do not use that channel anymore. If you want to see more up to date videos and life in Korea, check out my actual YouTube channel: Canadian Abroad: A.M. Molloy.

I have a total of 11 tattoos! (So far). Below is a slideshow from my very first tattoo (the tribal dragon when I was 17) to my latest, number eleven done this year in Korea (Sorren).

I am fluent in English, French, Spanish and I can speak intermediate Japanese (taught myself) and beginner Korean (also teaching myself).

My dad is French (from Quebec) so I learned English and French growing up in my household. I majored in Spanish at university and spent a semester in Spain as an exchange student.

I used to do a lot of cosplay, but I haven’t done so in years. I haven’t cosplayed very much and I reused the same cosplay for many cons (and halloween costumes) but I still enjoyed doing it all the same. I can’t sew so I always had help making them. I still appreciate a good cosplay from other cosplayers.

I love photography, though I’m still learning. I’m far from good but I’m getting better every day. I mostly take iPhone photography shots because I don’t always lug around my Nikon D3200. Honestly, with a bit of practice, anyone can make iPhone pictures turn out great. Featured below are a few of my favourite shots taken with my iPhone 8.

I have a wall of all my shots but my favourite will always be of my best friend, Leila, holding the Polaroid picture I just took of her. The picture of her holding the picture (INCEPTION) was also another iPhone shot.

I made my own language/culture because reasons. Mostly RP though. The language is called Hikaran and is spoken by a race on the planet Spira. I go into full length on said language and people in a previous blog post, so please, go ahead and check it out!

Admittedly, I made most of this up during math class in high school. It’s safe to say I’m not very good at math.

Anyway, instead of going into full detail here (because it’s in the blog post), I’ll just leave this popular Hikaran saying here:

While on exchange to Spain back in the summer of 2016, I met and shook hands with the queen of Spain in what I call a happy accident. One day I was walking around my school and taking a stroll around town and I noticed a blocked road a crowd starting to form where there usually isn’t. So, naturally, I had to get up front to see what was going to happen. Turns out the queen of Spain was in town and she took time to shake hands with people and I got lucky enough to be one of them. Moral of the story: when you see a tent or a barricade and people starting to gather where there usually isn’t, get up front because awesome things are gonna happen.  Unfortunately, I don’t have a picture with her, but I do, however, have a picture of her. (Pictured above).

Back in high school, when it was time for graduation photos, we were told we could bring an item, like a soccer ball or baseball bat, if we wanted for our pictures. Being the cat-obsessed weird person that I am, I legit brought my cat, Marbles (AKA Mibs) in a duffle bag (it was open) to school for my picture. Needless to say, I was the talk of the school for bringing a cat haha.  I lived super close to my school so I took my picture and brought her straight home. She hated going to school but was a good girl and took an amazing picture. 

I’m a huge Harry Potter fan. Literally grew up with it. I was in the 6th grade reading the first three books because that’s all that was published at the time. When the first Harry Potter movie came out, I’ll never forget the experience. It was amazing and I loved every bit of it.

PS: I’m a proud Gryffindor. I also have many friends from all of the houses, but most of them are from Slytherin.

I grew with Pokemon. I was around when it was all first released and Pokemon Red was my first ever game I owned to go with the first ever consul I opened, Nintendo Colour. I buy every game, still collect cards, and I used to watch the anime. Pokemon will always have a special place in my heart.

My new all time favourite game is Life is Strange all other games in said franchise. THAT GAME IS MY LIFE, YO. I mean, if you noticed on fact number 5 that one of my tattoos is Life is Strange themed.

My favourite author is Rachel Vincent.

Literally, anything she writes is golden to me.

My favourite series of hers will always be the Soul Screamers series. I still can’t believe how she ended that series. Love it! I just get so invested in each world that she creates that I feel like I’m right there with the characters and I don’t know what to do with my life when I finish each book.

If you love reading, I highly recommend checking her out.

The origin of my author name: A.M. Molloy is basically the initials to my given name, Alex Molloy. However, in person, I prefer to be called Mina. Mina is my Korean name and to be honest, I was never fond of Alex. Since I live in Korea, everyone here calls me Mina. It makes me happy to hear people call me Mina. :3

My novel is in its third round of edits and beta reader stage. One of my beta readers created SOUTH’s very first meme! I’m so in love with it that I’m sharing it here.

So, my university had this mini ball pit kept in the student center. Once during a society meeting at my university, my friend and I decided to completely organize the ball pit into a rainbow. It literally took us forty-five mins straight but we did it! And then no one wanted to sit in the ball bit for like a week because they didn’t want to mess it up so we had to mess it up again so people would use it again.

During my second visit to Japan, I had the pleasure to meet a real sumo wrestler. It was an honour. I wish I could have seen an actual match but this was still awesome all the same.

I loved volunteering at my university for many things, but my favourite was being an NSO Leader. My last year at uni I had the privilege to be on the best team, Yellow Team, and had the most amazing crew. It was truly the best experience. I loved helping all the newcomers to UPEI and I would do it again in a heartbeat if I was still in school.

Well, you’ve made it this far! Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed learning a bit more about me. For now, this concludes my new post, 20 facts about me.

Take care.

— Mina (A.M. Molloy)

[kumkaniudaku]

Wing Man: Two

Chadwick Boseman x CoCo (Black!Reader)

Warnings: Language, Smut references

A/N: Future pieces to this series will posted on this blog!

(1) (3)

“Lucy, I’m home,” Tasha cooed into the unusually quiet and warm Harlem apartment. 

Usually Tasha drive in from New Jersey every other weekend after her job with the New Jersey Nets, barge into Chad’s apartment unannounced, scream some television line and wait for his sarcastic reply. Today, only the sound of a body shifting on the bed in the other room acted as a reply to her ‘I Love Lucy’ reference.

Rounding the corner Tasha found her lean, lanky best friend upside down on his bed. His shoulders and head hung off of the side, nearly touching the floor as he absentmindedly stared at the worn ceiling. A t-shirt and a pair of boxers hung loosely off of his frame and scruff peppered his jawline. The usually strong and almost regal young man looked withered and tired, as if he had been in his current position for days.

“Chad,” Tasha started quietly. His eyes briefly shifted to her while she stood in the door frame before they moved back to focus on the invisible spot on the ceiling. “What’s going on? Are you hurt? How long have you -”

“She broke up with me.” He deadpanned. Though his voice held little emotion, his eyes told a different story. A glassy gloss covered them, indicating that he had been crying at some point during the day over the loss of his long-term girlfriend, Jayme.

Tasha let out the breath that she didn’t know she was holding before pushing her body away from the door and sitting on the floor beside his head. He also let out a deep breath while turning lay on his stomach.

“Did she say why?”

“Something about not wanting to wait forever while I chase this acting dream.” He answered, using air quotes to illustrate the sarcasm on her end of the exchange. “She also said that she met another man. Travis.”

A drawn out groan into one of his pillows punctuated the sentence, the first verbal indication of his frustration.

“What? That’s...insane. I’m sorry, Aaron,” Tasha added rubbing his head over her shoulder. “Fuck Travis.”

A dry chuckle slipped from Chadwick’s lips as he slid from the bed to join Tasha on the floor. Lying his head on her lap, he stared up at her with a heartbreaking look of devastation in his eyes. To avoid his gaze, she focused her attention on the circles she rubbed against his forehead.

“Maybe…maybe she’s right.”

“What! Chad, no!”

“I’ve been here for nine years, T! I don’t have shit to show for it. Not a steady TV spot, a commercial, a straight to DVD movie; nothing. I’m chasing a dream that isn’t meant for me. I’m a director, not the guy in the front.”

Another awkward silence enveloped the stuffy New York apartment while Tasha tried to find the words to lift his spirits. A joke at this time was obviously inappropriate and there was no way that you would agree with him.

Chadwick hadn’t landed any serious roles but he was overlooking the work that he had accomplished. Deep Azure was a tremendous success and his directorial work garnered. enough accolades to necessitate another page for his official biography. Most importantly, his work with at the Schaumburg Center was impactful to the youth that regarded him as a superstar. At any point in the afternoon, one could find middle school aged children crowded around Chadwick and hanging on to his every word as if his voice held the key to life. They respected him more than anyone else in the building, wanting nothing more than to make him proud.

“Let’s go. We’re not sitting here and sulking.” Tasha demanded, pushing his head from her lap and standing to her.

Chadwick shot back a bewildered look as his eyes moved quickly between her stern expression and outstretched hand. “Are you being serious?”

“You bet your sweet ass I am! Let’s go. Now.”

Shuffling to stand up, Chadwick barely had a chance to grab hold to Tasha’s hands before she began dragging him into the bathroom to position him in front of the dingy mirror. 

“What do you see?”

“I see...me?” He stated confused at Tasha’s intentions. “What is this about?”

“Can I tell you what I see?” She asked looking at him for approval to continue. Chadwick’s lips spread into a slight smile as a signal for permission. Placing a hand on each shoulder, Tasha hid her body behind his and began to speak. 

“I see a Black man that fought tooth and nail to make it out of his fine arts program. Remember those long ass nights writing and rewriting drafts? Learning lines so you could relate to the actors on stage?”

“Damn near sleeping in the theater some nights,” he chuckled, vivid memories of those experiences flashing in his mind. The grind was his favorite part.

Tasha rubbed his shoulders before gently tugging them back so that he would stand up straight. “I see a man with enough passion in his eyes to make the world go ’round. I see Mr. Chad, the only person at Schaumburg to get those rowdy ass kids to be quiet and listen.”

Chadwick’s eyes moved from Tasha’s to finally look at himself in the mirror. He looked both confused and intrigued. How could Tasha see all of this when all he found looking back at him was the taunting face of a man that had failed to make his dreams reality.

“I also see,” Tasha continued “a man that loves with his whole heart and is going to make a woman very happy but, only when the time is right. You are amazing. You’re walking directly in your purpose. Your accomplishments are plenty and this is only the beginning. So tuck that chapped ass bottom lip back in and get it together, Aaron. You’re going to be just fine.”

Tasha playfully slapped Chadwick’s cheeks in as a way to smack him back to reality. Finally, a toothy grin found a resting spot on his face as he took one last look at himself in the mirror.

“Thank you,” He muttered, turning to lean against the sink and face Tasha “For everything. I owe you a hug.

“Oh no you don’t!” She exclaimed in an attempt to dodge his outstretched arms. “You stink! How long have you been in that bed?”

“I don’t know. Two days?” The longtime best friends scrunched their faces in disgust as the realization that he hadn’t showered in 48 consecutive hours settled into their brains.

“Gross, Aaron! Take a shower and get dressed.”

“Please don’t make me leave the house, CoCo.” He whined, using Tasha;s nickname in an attempt to change her mind.

“Don’t CoCo me! We’re going out because I need a drink and you need some fresh air to hit that funky ass body of yours.”

An incredulous look followed by incoherent mumbles drew a boisterous laugh from CoCo as she flopped down on the bed to being her wait.

If a pep talk couldn’t cheer him up, Tasha knew a double shot of whiskey and a dance party would do the trick. They hadn’t been out together in months. She missed their nights running the streets in the Summer, staying out too late and drinking too much. She’d try to set him up with some unsuspecting girl at the bar when she was fueled by liquid courage and he’d laugh and talk her down, usually citing his relationship or work as his reason to decline. It was always a lie, but it stopped Tasha long enough for him to change the subject.

“None of that matchmaker stuff tonight, Tasha. I’m serious,” Chadwick admonished as he closed the cab door after she’d exited the vehicle.

“Oh c’mon! You need it!”

“I’m serious, Co. Drinks only.”

Chadwick only pulled out Tasha’s nickname when he wanted something or when he needed to assert himself. The words she opened her mouth to counter his point with never made it into the warm summer air because of Chad’s conversation ending glare.

“Buzzkill,” Slipped pass CoCo’s lips in a disgruntled mumble causing Chadwick to scoff.

The usual bar was bursting at the seams with natives and tourists looking for a little fun to kick off the season. Jamie Foxx’s “Blame It” rattled the glass windows surrounding the bricked building, filling Tasha’s heart with excitement. Fortunately, the line outside moved quickly and finally allowed them to join in on the dance party.

“I’m gonna go get us some drinks. You go find a spot at the bar!” Before he could protest, Tasha scurried towards the bartender to pick the poison for the night’s activities. A fond smile never left his face while he watched her from his seat. He loved the way Tasha exaggerated her facial expressions when she was excited. Her animated conversations could bring him from the darkest depths of frustration and lift his spirits in a matter of seconds. 

He committed to memory how her beautiful brown skin reflected the red and blue hues that emitted from the lights around the dance floor. There were no words to describe the way his stomach filled with butterflies when her hands touched any part of his body or when she said his name for any reason at all. His relationship with Jayme was full of love but not in the way that he loved Tasha. She brought that up in her parting argument but he felt it unnecessary to bring up for fear that CoCo would blame herself for his mistake.

“What are you over here smiling at?” She asked interrupting his thoughts while balancing four shots between her fingers.

Instead of letting his smile fall, he simply grabbed one of the glasses she presented him and instructed you to do the same. “To friendship?”

“To friendship!”

                                        ____________

Slurred speech and giggles bounced off the hallways wall, brightening up the dark corridor. A night of unadulterated fun was near its end if Chadwick could reach his apartment door without Tasha pulling them to the floor in a heap. 

“Chaaadwiiiiiick,” Tasha sang, stumbling under the tight grasp of Chadwick’s arms.

He laughed and shook his head. “Tasha, this is third time you’ve called my name. Do you want something or do you just like the way it sounds.”

A hiccup preceded hysterical laughter and served as CoCo’s reply. By the 10th shot, third dance battle and the near scuffle by the bar, Chadwick decided that the party was over for his friend and practically drug her out of the building. Tasha’s drinking made it difficult for her to stand on her own and contributed to the sudden inability to keep her hands to herself.

CoCo’s fingertips traced Chadwick’s clenched jawline while he attempted to get his key in the lock of his apartment door. Chadwick drew in a sharp breath when her soft lips replaced her hands, sending blood and his sense of calm in a race to his lower half.

“Be careful, CoCo,” he spoke in a low rumble. “You’re about to start something you can’t finish.”

His warning did nothing to stop Tasha as you placed another kiss on his earlobe. The kisses became slower, moving from his ear, to his cheek and finally the corner of his mouth. A strained grunt emerged from his throat, carrying equal parts frustration and desire.

Desire won the internal battle, and before he knew it, he was pressing CoCo up against the front door out of pure desperation. His hands frantically grabbed her wrists to pin them above her head while their tongues danced in a lewd ballet.

“Dammit,” he breathed against her neck “We’re not supposed to be doing this.”

“Why not?” 

Pulling away from Tasha, he peered into her dark eyes and found the same lust filled look that he was sure his eyes carried. He felt his heart’s pace begin to pick up. 

Why couldn’t he take the opportunity to bury himself deep inside of Tasha? To taste the juices that had made an appearance just for him? Why couldn’t he finally make love to the woman that had been the best part of his life for over a decade? The fear of crossing the invisible line in their relationship, threatening to make him back out of the moment. He quickly shook his trepidation. 

As if he never stopped, Chadwick hungrily latched his lips to CoCo’s neck, nipping and sucking at the skin that rivaled the sweetest milk chocolate. Following his cue, she lazily wrapped your legs around his waist to allow Chadwick and easier method of transferring you to his bedroom.

Tasha landed on his bed with a soft thud, slightly shaking up the contents of her stomach. She paid no mind to the sudden bout of nausea, instead choosing to watch Chadwick remove his shirt and expose his chest. He had grown so much since his undergraduate years. His shoulders were broader, chest more firm, accented with a small amount of hair, and his abs were more pronounced. She couldn’t have dreamed of a more perfect being.

Chadwick smirked at Tasha after noticing her bottom lip denting beneath her top row of teeth.

He slowly crawled to the top of the bed to press her lips against his in the most sensual kiss either of them had ever had. Chadwick planned to take his time with her tonight and deal with the consequences in the morning. Their moans harmonized under the moonlight, wrapping your bodies in a swath of brilliant light as if the act was written for the stage. 

Before Chadwick could make a move to Tasha’s chest, a wave of heat accompanied the feeling of her mouth preparing for an acidic eruption to interrupt the activity.

“Oh my-Chad stop!” She blurted, throwing her hands up to cover her mouth.

“What? Why?”

“I’m gonna-oh shit. Move!”

Chadwick watched in amusement as Tasha darted into the bathroom to empty out all of the fun she had consumes a few hours ago. A fond smile spread across his face while he slipped on his t-shirt and walked towards the bathroom door, listening to her wretch and cure. 

“I love you, CoCo.” he whispered to himself before pushing open the door to help her through her episode. “C’mon, now. Not on the floor!”

Tag List: @thegirlonhamilton @idilly @wakanda-4evr @redvonlace @onyour-right @wakandan-aesthetic @chocolate-flavouredcondom

(Let me know if you want to be added.)

[kenshiliker]

mcfuck load of things i was tagged in going here thanks everyone that tagged me & im sorry for this Entire Mess

Also I was tagged in 3 different things that have like similar fuckign questions so im jst gonna stick them all into 1 tag bc if not you’d have me repeating my damn names 18 times and thts no fun for Anyone)

Meet the blogger meme (Tagged by @bodhierso, thank u ark!! @woehuxbub tHJANKS FAMTHER & @orsonkraennic)

i. name:  徐

ii. nickname: OH LORD I HAVE SO MANY um I’ll just put the main ones; Brucie, Jerry, Tiaan, King Dickard II

iii. zodiac sign: Sagittarius / Dragon (Chinese Zodiac)

iv. height: ??? UH I think 160 cm the last I measured but I’m not sure. Over 5′3″ iirc.

v. orientation: Ace (the helpful place)

vi. ethnicity: Chinese 

vii. favorite fruit: Orange, Strawberry and Banana, L E M O N (u fucKIGN COWARDS)

viii. favorite season: Autumn/Winter but I’m stuck in hell so guess I’ll Die

ix. favorite book / book series: I don’t read many books but I like Shakespeare’s stuff & also Sherlock Holmes

x. favorite flower: Hibiscus rosa-sinensis (this is as patriotic as I get tbh), PLANTA GENISTA

xi. favorite scent: Nothing too strong or I’ll feel nauseous. Maybe a soft vanilla? ...And maybe orange. Or Lemon.

xii. favorite color: ORANGE (funny story is that my dad’s fav colour was orange and I decided to project frm a young age and wow guess what Orange has been my fav colour ever since), White, Black, Blue, Red

xiii. coffee, tea or cocoa: T e a slorp slorp

xiv. average sleep hours: Depends on what I have planned the next day. Lately (due to exam month) it’s been about 5 hrs per week so guess I’ll die

xv. cat or dog person: I like both as long as I’m not being chased

xvi. favorite fictional characters: ghhh Bruce Wayne, Tiaan Jerjerrod, Illya Kuryakin, B.J. Hunnicutt, Freddy Newandyke, Cal Lightman, (and Duke of Aumerle & Richard II if they count,,, hte Shookspeare version)

xvii. dream trip: UK,,, Get Me Out Of Here, 

xviii. blogs created: 4 (This one, TMFU blog, Secret Shakespeare Blog & Secret Art Blog) (I haven’t posted on the latter two) (That’s why they’re a ‘secret’)

xix. number of followers: 940 here (how even the Fuck) & 1582 on the TMFU blog.

xx.  random fact: I recently sat on the hard wood floor for 10 hours straight (s/o to you if you remember this) and felt myself just physically shrivel up and die. I literally hurt everywhere bc if I wasn’t sitting down, I was laying on the ground and gOD It took me a week to feel better but yeah god 11/10 would not recommend

xxi. number of blankets you sleep with: There’s like 4 on my bed lmao I’M LIVING

xxii.  blog created: I’ve had a tumblr since like... 2010 and I didn’t really use it until 2012, 2013 was my first year I was really active

xxiii. nationality: Malaysian

Tagged by Krenny again, to answer all these questions, and then tag 15 people 5 things you’ll find in my bag: SUPERMAN WALLET, Phone, Powerbank + Cable, Earphones, Art Supplies

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom: 5000 Stuffed Animals, DC shit, SW garb, The decapitated head of Jar Jar Binks that greets the visitors, Convention merch (+4 GAY REALLY FUCKING GAY, SO GAY THAT IF MY PARENTS FOUND THEM I’D BE FUCKING DEAD, fanbooks of TMFU which are in Chinese, sent by my lovely Internet Sister)

5 things I’ve always wanted to do: Get some air-dry paper clay and make tiny sculptures or something, learn how to paint properly, have nice handwriting, visit the UK again, WATCH A PLAY

5 things that make me happy: My unhealthy coping mechanisms, my favs, my friends!!, drawing (sometimes), reading/learning about something I’m interested in

5 things I’m currently into: TIM ROTH, LIE TO ME, Shakespeare, Star Wars, DC

5 things on my to do list: Get good fuckin grades for once in my damn life aye, finish watching Lie To Me, finish reading As You Like It and Othello, finish the school year & be done with it for the rest of my life, memorise all the experiments for the physics syllabus by Thursday if not my teacher will literally grill me

and lastly, tagged by @bunn1cula​ and Krenny again! Thank u two am loaf the both of u,

the last

1. drink: water 2. phone call: irl friend that is saved as ‘Mr. Pink’ in my phone (as per their request fhghg) 3. text message: ‘👌👌’ or if chats count then:

4. song you listened to: HOOKED ON A FEELING 5. time you cried: Yesterday while watching Lie To Me 6. dated someone twice: Nooooot yet 7. kissed someone and regretted it: NOT FOR ME THnks 8. been cheated on: ?? I don’t know. Probably not. 9. lost someone special: Yes 10. been depressed: Yeah, still am, but I think it’s not so bad nowadays (hopefully). 11. got drunk and thrown up: Never

3 favourite colours

12. Orange 13. White 14. Black

in the last year have you

15. made new friends: Yeah, definitely!  16. fallen out of love: NOT YET BUT MAYBE SOON 17. laughed until you cried: GOD A HECK OF A LOT OF TIMES 18. found out someone was talking about you: No, not really. I mean, there’s an asshole in my class that loves talking shit about me but I honestly don’t give a fuck about him he’s Irrelavant. 19. met someone who changed you: I don’t really know,,, I think I’m still the same? 20. found out who your friends are: I’ve never really had an issue with anyone, really. Maybe except one or two people, but yeah, the rest of y’all are alright. 21. kissed someone on your facebook list: NO

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: About 60/93 of them. I plan to boot a ton of them after I graduate tho. 23. do you have any pets: UNFORTUNATELY NO but I’d love a cat 24. do you want to change your name: UM SURE I mean it’d be kinda nice bc I hate when people I hate tainted my name by calling it, so yea, Yes 25. what did you do for your last birthday: I don’t think I did anything at all. 26. what time did you wake up: 6.30 a.m. (gotta love tht School Life) 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: ,,,Watching Lie To Me, reading fics instead of studying for my exam, 28. name something you can’t wait for: GRADUATING and getting tf outta here. 29. when was the last time you saw your mum: Last night ghghg 31. what are you listening to right now: Stuck In The Middle With You 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: I was the person named Tom once, so, yes. 33. something that is getting on your nerves: My shitty fucking class/school. 34. most visited website: Tumblr, YouTube 35. hair colour: Dark brown 36. long or short hair: Short! 37. do you have a crush on someone: Mnnn 50/50 38. what do you like about yourself: I’m kinda sorta funny & I can draw sometimes 39. piercings: None 40. blood type: A+ 41. nickname: Jerry, Brucie, Tiaan, King Dickard II 42. relationship status: Single & That’s Alrighty 43. zodiac: Sagittarius 44. pronouns: He/Him or They/Them 45. favourite tv show: RN IT’S LIE TO ME (TIM ROTH COULD FUCKIGNG LIE TO ME RIGHT IN MY FACE & I’D BE LIKE WOW UR TELLIGN THE TRUTH I BELIEVE IN U), but I also like M*A*S*H, The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Twilight Zone 46. tattoos: I idon’t really want any! 47. right or left handed: Right

first

48. surgery: None to my knowledge, or maybe a few when I was super young bc my moves (lungs) are weak babe 49. piercing: None (my mom keeps trying to get me to pierce my ear but it’s not my thing, & also if I do get it i’ll only get one and it’ll be the Gay Ear) 50. sport: Football, I think? In any case, I’m bomb as hell at getting hit in the fucking head by the sports balls.  51. vacation: London or Australia iirc 52. pair of trainers: I don’t remember either, I can barely remember anything from 2016.

more general

53. eating: Nothing at the moment 54. drinking: Water 55. i’m about to: Nap or watch Lie To Me (I haven’t decided) 56. waiting for: My exams to be over 57. want: Nothing at the moment 58. get married: Sure? I’m not really opposed to marriage as a whole, but if it starts getting yikes you bet your ass I’m gonna fucking bounce 59. career: I don’t have a career rn but I’d like to do illustration/concept art it seems p cool. Either that or become a psychologist and charge people $30 for readings.

which is better

60. hugs or kisses: I don’t like either 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: I don’t really care. I love both short girls and guys (@tiM), and tall girls and guys are just as good! 63. older or younger: Doesn’t really matter to me either. 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Also doesn’t really matter but if ur arms are good I’m definitely eyes emoji af 65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. 66. troublemaker or hesitant: See, I’d say hesitant but I don’t really know that either. Just as long as you’re not doing some stupid shit we’re good.

have you ever

67. kissed a stranger: No 68. drank hard liquor: Nope.. Well, not to my knowledge. 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear either ghgng 70. turned someone down: No 71. sex on the first date: N O 72. broken someone’s heart: UH Yeah when I was 13 (how even the fucK.) 73. had your heart broken: yEP 74. been arrested: Never bc I’m a cop, Larry 75. cried when someone died: Yes. I’m okay throughout the funeral but the minute it registers that I’m never gonna see them again, I’m gooooone af. Even if I didn’t particularly like the person when they were alive. 76. fallen for a friend: YEAH!!! But it’s usually one of those new-friend crushes sourry.

do you believe in

77. yourself: I mean, Sometimes. It’s like... Can I do it? Most Likely. Did I do it correctly? Most Likely Not. 78. miracles: Not really, no. 79. love at first sight: Yeah, sure, I mean everyone’s different, so who’s to say just because I don’t feel it someone else doesn’t. 80. santa claus: No way my dude 81. kiss on the first date: Depends bc at mY AGE I’m not boutta put my face anywhere near someone else’s thts jst weird 82. angels: Mayhaps,,,, I don’t believe that they don’t exist, if that makes sense.

other

83. current best friend’s name: Mmmnnnn Kylogram (Kyle Ron), maybe? I’ve a few best friends. 84. eye colour: Dark brown, they look kinda nice in the sun I guess. 85. favourite movie: RESERVOIR DOGS, Four Rooms, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, The Lion in Winter, TMFU, Wonder Woman, ROTJ, Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade

--

This is a big Mess, but yeA I’m tagging whoever was mentioned above & no one else bc this has gone on for long enough, to do the one you weren’t tagged in or hell do the first one if you want, bc that one is a compilation of like 3 different tag memes ghfh. Good bye u all.

(OH YEAH if ur a mutual/follower/whoEVER who sees this feel free to do if if you’d like!! Say I tagged you if you’d like to c:)

[attract-mode-collective]

Love May Dwindle Between Street Fighters, But There Will Always Be Paris

The above is from Bastien Vives, which recently made a reappearance on Twitter (thanks for the heads up @VitaminSteve). Though I’ve known about them for some time now, dating all the way back since 2010, when Eric posted them on GSW!

Anyhow, here are two others in the series…

I’d also end up sharing another illustration of Bastien’s on GSW myself, which was part of another series…

BTW, I’ve been trying to get ahold of Bastien for literally years now, so if anyone could please pass this post along to him, along with the following message, that would be awesome:

“Bastien! I’m a HUGE fan of your work and would love to work together! There’s an art show I’m putting together and would be honored to have you take part! So let’s talk; my email is matt@attractmo.de.”

So what else has been going on? Well, lots of stuff as usual, though for starters, there’s going to be a Papers Please? movie! Well, a short film at least; here’s @dukope with some production shots…

Also, according to Eric at his regular digs, there’s gonna be another Seaman!

Hopefully this one makes it onto US shores, cuz I’m still bummed that the last follow up for the PS2 never arrived here…

As for “actual news”, you know how Trump brought out the best in folks on Twitter this past week? Including those who enjoy making game related gags, and this one might be the my personal fave (via @Nibellion)…

Coming in at a close second we have (via we-love-gaming)…

Speaking of Pokemon; a Blastoise sculpture made out of cheese for whatever reason (via retrogamerblog)…

And here have a more traditional definition of “art”; it’s an oil painting of Marisa Kirisame, and kbnet explains: “Artist is Zarigani Misawa, an art teacher by trade. There was a small exhibition of Touhou art done in traditional media on the 28th where this photo was taken”…

The Verge recently highlighted the work of Matt Anderson, it didn’t so much make me think of what Zelda game on a smart phone could look like but instead a Zelda game in the hands of CAPY…

Here’s a video that’s gotten a surprising amount of attention, though perhaps I shouldn’t be too surprised; The 8-Bit Guy decided to restore a pair of old games that were more than a little rough around the edges, which ended up upsetting classic game and preservationists. And while I understand where they’re coming from, I also love the total DIY route that Dave (aka The 8-Bit Guy’s real first name, I think) employed when replacing the label for Pitfall…

And here’s a video that hardly anyone has seen, which I’m hoping to correct: my buddy Andy Reitano has been showcasing NESpectre, a project by himself and his pal Zachary Johnson, for quite some time now (my first taste was at the last, and I do mean last, IndieCade East).

Basically, it’s a modified NES that allows people to alter various aspect of a given game by logging in via their smart phones. It’s also one of those things in which you need to see it action to understand, so here’s Andy’s talk from SIGNAL last week…

BTW, some may recall another project of Andy’s I mentioned around this parts a whiles ago as well, that being Super Russian Roulette. The following was posted on Twitter; “First official run of @adamgetsawesome's batch programming GUI. Wirelessly flashing 5 NES carts at once (with progress bars!)”

Elsewhere on Twitter, another example of game development, courtesy of @dosnostalgic…

And back to the subject of hardware tricky; am not entire sure what’s going on here, which I spotted over at cf-12’s corner, when looking to see if he’s been up to anything new since last checking in…

All right, enough of the house that Mario built, let’s talk Sega, yet also sticking with hardware innovations… or Innoventions as Disney calls them. Here we have the latest from home movie from My Retro Life, which again proudly flaunts the Esposito family’s affinity for the house that Sonic built, even while vacationing at Disney World…

All I can say is, I would gladly opt for Virtua Formula (that eight player linked Virtua Racing set-up that you might miss if you blink) over that dumbass looking Avatar thing they currently have going on.

And sticking with Sega for just a bit more; some not so funny jokes from a not so funny Sonic joke book (via sonicthehedgeblog). While not directly contributing to them eventually bowing out of the home console business, I still can’t help wonder how little it helped them either…

Remember my mention of an Ulala Figma from a few weeks ago? Well, here it is “in action” (this is mostly just a chance to showcase Good Smile Company’s YouTube page, which I had idea existed until now)…

Do you also recall that unpainted TwinBee toy I posted pics of a few weeks ago also? Well, here it is in color, cuz it’s now available for pre-order (via miki800.com)…

And a reminder of how Konami used to be a fun place to work, as well as how Konami is attached to Frogger (via vgjunk)…

Please enjoy this downpour of Famicom Disk System discs (via gamergunk)…

Also please enjoy this latest reminder of how batsh*t insane Sonic Blast Man is (via obscurevideogames)…

You know that girl that really likes Sega, as evidenced by the Saturn she wears on her head? Well, she’s into SNK as well, as evidenced by the new shirt that our pals at Fangamer recently released…

Speaking of SNK, I finally have a reason to share the marquee for the mini 2slot MVS that were in certain McDonald’s in Japan. Been looking for the perfect time to share this for ages now (via @turfmasta)…

Here’s something that originally aired on Japanese TV and which I stumbled across on YouTube…

I’ve looked high and low and cannot find any hard info, so all I have are observations. So for those of you who don’t feel like watching the 20+ minute long clip: for starters, it’s clearly a show that highlights retro gaming, and one of the hosts is… the creator of Dragon Quest?!?! Actually, one of the hosts simply strikes a very close resemblance to Yuji Horii (I’m pretty sure if he was hosing a show, it would be somewhat common knowledge). Also, everyone’s wearing snazzy THUNDERBOX attire!

I believe the guest is the dude whose apartment we visit, which is overflowing with Famicom boxes. Am shocked that he’d allow television cameras come visit, but hey, more power to the guy for being so proud of his collection. We immediately cut to a segment on controllers for the Famicom, with the highlight being an inflatable motorcycle! After that is their version of the Power Pad and their version of the Power Glove. Turns out, the latter is just as unmanageable as its American equivalent. And finally they bust out the Switch cuz the milking mini game in 1-2-Switch makes for great television.

And finally here, gonna wrap things up with the final thing I shared in that GSW post of mine that I posted at the very top. Which basically served as the prototype for the Attract Mode blog, as anyone can tell. Anyhow, here we have the ultimate dream team of Link and WWE Chairman and CEO Vince McMahon…

Don’t forget: Attract Mode is now on Medium! There you can subscribe to keep up to date, as well as enjoy some “best of” content you might have missed the first time around, plus be spared of the technical issues that’s starting to overtake Tumblr.

[elizabethschoices]

#LoveHacks, Book 2, Chapter One: My Thoughts

You know the usual reasons I’m late as hell with this.

I guess some background about my first #LoveHacks experience? I hated most of it. But I loved Ben so it ended up being okay. Never liked Mark. Brooke is the only friend I really actually like.

Can we talk about this basic cover for a second?

Every other book in this game, even the many Freshman spin-offs have better backgrounds. The cover for the first story was awesome! Ugh. Pure laziness. Ben is the only reason I care about this series. But will he end up being enough to get me through this book? Only time will tell.

We get the recap from where we left off last book, obviously. Ben says we can start over, MC quits, accepts Leah’s offer, and Cole spills to the beans about Mark being in love with MC. I don’t even really understand why we needed a recap of all that.

... We’re headed into another mediocre book?

HOLY SHIT THAT IS SO DAMN CUTE I WATCHED FOR FIVE MINUTES I S2G

Will it, Pixelberry? Will it?

MC is shocked, Cole is still drunk, and I don’t know how else to respond to this without denouncing any feelings for Mark because all my love is Ben’s. Go home, Cole. You’re drunk. Maybe we can just use that as an excuse and never talk about Mark’s feelings again. Doubtful, as the story must go on, but I’m hopeful all the same.

Cole drunkenly yells at us, and Mark prays for some help. Good luck, buddy. Most Wanted music plays, and suddenly there’s fire. Can we just get Most Wanted 2, please? I’ll actually donate five bucks to this game if that happens. But only five. Book 4 of The Freshman has really pissed me off, guys.

Brooke, my cutie pie, shouts out fire and I actually chuckled at Mark’s dialogue.

So cliché, but we’ve all been there.

Thick smoke from the kitchen fills the air. I’ve gotta give the art team props for this. They’re getting better. Maybe shoulda put some of that smoke on the cover for this book.

Sereena shouts out how it wasn’t her, and honestly that was stupid. Nobody said it was you, jackass. Horatio tells everyone to get the hell out, Felix says he knows what a kitchen fire smells like (because there’s a specific scent to it?) and Brooke panics adorably while telling everyone else not to panic. It’s like that comic where the dog is barking and telling everyone to stay calm.

I kinda want Cole to perish in this fire. But unfortunately for me, Mark is a good friend and carries him out. Now it’s our turn to yell. I’ll be a leader and tell everyone to follow me because they are already trying to get the fuck out and you should call the fire department after everyone but Cole is safely out of the building.

Damn right you are, baby. ;)

We get out of the bar as the fire department arrives and one firefighter (who is described as handsome lmfao no) escorts us to a safe area. Brooke is all ‘oh my god u saved me’ and firefighter is all ‘just doin’ my job babe’ and honestly Brooke he did not save you from a damn thing, you just think he’s hot.

The fire is very minor, at least. Brooke is still fazed by the man, Cole for some reason hasn’t sobered up an ounce after all this, and Mark says the guy resisted the Sphere of Prettiness, though I’m not really sure if he did?

Ben finds us. I love him. So much. <3

I’m slightly smoked, but alright. And then Ben compares us to how he likes his turkey. Love him. I think his instant regret was even cuter, honestly. I think I’m going to write up a whole post about why I love him so damn much.

We do need to talk, babe, but this is going to be a premium option, I know it. Fuck you, PB. We’ll just talk here, out in front of a bar instead of having pie and cuddles.

We find a bench to sit on and awwww he adjusted his glasses to gather his thoughts ugh it’s so simple and I do it literally all the time because I wear glasses but it’s so damn cute when he does it!

He asks if Mark being in love with MC is true, and she says she thinks it is. He decides he’ll be upfront and understanding if this changes things between us. However, Mark and MC have not been close forever. They were buddies in college, that’s it.

He asks us how we feel about Mark. I don’t have those kinds of feelings for Mark. He’s barely even a friend. I like Ben’s sentiment about not wanting to tie MC down, but I want to be tied down. I want Ben; nobody else.

That’s perfectly okay with me. :)

He’s so cute. Likes going out with us as much as he likes watching The Flash.

Of course I still wanna date you!

AWWWWW HE KISSED US UGH I’M SO FAR GONE FOR HIM

I’ll never get tired of him.

We rejoin the group and then it cuts to the next morning. Our phone is going off. It’s from Leah, predictably. She asks to meet up for coffee and then we’re taken to our closet. PB, level with me for a second. How the fuuuuuck am I supposed to level with a character that acts as myself if I can’t even get the same haircut as her? Long blonde hair! Is it that hard to give me that? Or anyone else their color and cut? No, it isn’t. Otherwise Episode wouldn’t have it figured out.

I stick with the blonde bob and choose the Trendy Sundress, even though that maxi dress is my life.

We meet up with Leah and start talking about the blog. What should our first articles be about? MC literally just quit a job where she wrote about ten guys you date. She can lay off for a while. Besides, what goes on between Ben and me should stay between us.

Let’s go HONY and advertise up-and-coming professionals. She likes it!

Ah hell, there’s more she wants to talk about. Sorry hun, I’m taken and also straight. I’d rather just talk here. I don’t even like the beach that much.

Lmao I played The Freshman, I should know.

She tells us she’s into us, but I’m sorry, I don’t feel the same. She isn’t taking it badly though, which is good.

We transition to later that night, where we meet up with the gang at a sports bar called The Zone. Everyone hates it. Fuck it, let’s just go bar hopping. Or not. Horatio is salty about the place, and I’m not even going to try and console him. This place sucks.

Of course, he doesn’t think so. He doesn’t like it, but he gets the appeal to it. And now he’s talking about how the VERY SMALL fire was a symbol for him to move on from The Double Tap. Lord have mercy. Do what you want, bro.

Brooke shows up with Keo, the firefighter from the previous night. Is this gonna turn into a thing where Sereena gets jealous that Brooke spends all of her time with him and it’ll be a repeat of Kaitlyn hanging out with The Gutter Kittens from Book 3 of The Freshman?

Brooke apparently pursued Keo herself. I think they’re a cute couple! That’s sweet!

And it was Sereena’s fault the fire was set! Bitch. And then she reminds everyone about Mark’s feelings for us. Major bitch. Now Mark and I are having Cole apologize to us.

‘I’m a big dummy and Elizabeth is a beautiful angel.’

Mark pulls us aside later on. He wants pool, I want a drink.

He spills his guts, and I’m not having it. I care for you, but not in that way. I am committed to Ben.

He understands and then we’re already on the next day at Buzzf- I mean ClickIt. Confrontations with Martin and TJ ensue, and then MC declares she and Leah are going to prove they’re above all this. Nobody likes clickbait anyway.

Leah has a little sister named Andi, and she is her legal guardian. I wonder how that will play out.

Until whenever I get around to writing up the next one!

[zenithgays]

Chapters: 5/5 Fandom: Fire Emblem Heroes Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Summoner | Eclat | Kiran/Alfonse/Bruno | Zacharias Characters: Alfonse (Fire Emblem), Bruno | Zacharias, Summoner | Eclat | Kiran Additional Tags: Polyamory, Fluff and Humor, Angst, Literal Sleeping Together, Alternate Universe - Soulmates Published: 2018-07-16 Completed: 2018-07-20 Total Word Count:4823 Summary:

a collection of unrelated kiran/alfonse/bruno one-shots for tumblr user polyshipprompts' polyship week

my thoughts under the cut, it’s a REALLY long post this time because i’m covering all 5 chapters instead of making 5 separate posts

alright so. polyship week is something i try to do once a year over on @polyshipprompts, i basically give everyone tags to use prompts from for each day and just let them all go wild. 2016 i chickened out of posting anything because i just wrote for my ocs (one of those eventually got posted but not until a long time afterwards). 2017... there was no polyship week. i had planned to move it to winter, and then my laptop broke and i couldn’t really host it from mobile since i never use mobile tumblr

2018 was back to summer, though i think i held it earlier than i did in 2016. and i also decided “fuck it, let’s participate” so... i did. posting this is also reminding me that soon enough (in a couple of months) i need to start thinking about this year’s polyship week

anyway. i wrote kiran/bruno/alfonse (i’m calling the ship kirbrufonse, i hope more people make content for them and use this ship name so it catches on) because i was like “hm. ot3... well. this is the only thing coming to mind”

all the chapters have the prompts i picked in them already, i think most of them were prompts i came up with in the first place. it’s kinda funny

also i HAVE a summoner oc and i use him in all my fics that involve the summoner. kiran’s actually his nickname, but i use it instead of his actual name (cirino) so i don’t have to explain that to people. it’s fine

day 1 was fluff. it turned out a little bit more humorous than i thought/hoped but i still like it

of course it involves sleeping, because it’s me and that tends to come up in a lot of my fics (fun fact! “you and i have come such a long way” keeps getting called the “sleeping together” series by some of my friends. i guess that’s fair, my titles are pretty wordy bc i take them from song lyrics)

favorite part: Kiran married Alfonse, so technically the two of them were husbands. But that wasn’t the point, nor did Bruno particularly want to pursue that conversational topic because they’d had the discussion before. Many times, in fact. Kiran still felt like it wasn’t a completely valid marriage, even though Feh was technically ordained and qualified to perform the ceremony.

day 2... angst. tbh i don’t usually write angst, i’m not really about writing things that feel hopeless! feels like any time i do it, it’s more for someone else? which is okay with me

i came up with this weird au for this that i will literally never write because it confused the hell out of me to even think about. basically it involved kiran meeting modern reincarnations of alfonse and bruno. bruno remembered his past life, alfonse didn’t (and bruno hadn’t told him yet because it seems hard to believe). and the three of them got close again, even starting to date, AND THEN canon!bruno and alfonse figure out how to temporarily open portals to kiran’s world and... yeah. yeah it’s a clusterfuck. i think you can see why i didn’t and won’t actually write anything involving it. it’s just fun to think about a little

also i keep going back and forth on whether or not time passes here while kiran’s in askr? for the angst factor, i went with not for this fic since the idea of it being like nothing ever happened was too good to pass up. however i probably could’ve gone with yes, time did pass, and it’s suddenly years later which is... kinda horrifying to think about honestly! like did people think kiran died? (probably) how would he, or anyone, explain what happened? Who Knows

i could speculate on this some more, especially with regards to other heroes, too, because it is fucking INTERESTING and i have things to say on it but also this post is already real long and i have 3 more fics to cover so maybe some other time

favorite part:  “... Alright,” Kiran said, pulling the princes into a hug, sniffling only a little when they both held tight to him. “I’ll miss you.” He turned his head to kiss Alfonse on the cheek. “Both of you,” he amended, doing the same to Bruno.

“We’ll miss you, as well,” Bruno murmured, rubbing his hand up and down Kiran’s back.

Alfonse buried his face in Kiran’s shoulder. “I promise, one day, we’ll figure out how to get back to you.”

Kiran nodded. “Right. This isn’t goodbye forever. It’s just for now.” Maybe if he said that enough, he’d believe it, himself.

day 3! silly. god i wish i could think of a better name for that tag on the blog

it’s... another fic involving sleeping! alright. it also didn’t turn out as funny as i’d hoped it would. somehow my fluff fic was more humorous than this, at least in my opinion. it’s not a bad fic, by any means, but it sure isn’t how i wanted it to be

so my kiran’s a college student. communications major, which was an effort to make sure he wasn’t a self-insert since i was a liberal arts major. when i was in college (and even in high school tbh) i would stay up super late at night working on stuff, too. it’s not good, though, kids. don’t do it (i say, even though i STILL stay up until like 3 am most nights... it’s different now bc i don’t usually need to wake up before like 10 or 11)

rereading this to think of things to say about it reminds me how cute this is, honestly. i really am a sucker for characters sleeping together

favorite part:  “I’ll be done, soon, I prom--” Kiran was cut off as Alfonse pulled him down to the bed, moving so he was partly on top of his partner.

Kiran sometimes forgot about how strong Alfonse could be, but being pretty much pinned in place like this would ensure he never forgot again. “You’re heavy,” Kiran groaned, trying-but-not-really to push Alfonse off with his free hand.

“Be thankful it’s me and not Bruno doing this,” Alfonse quipped, and Kiran could feel his smile against his shoulder.

day 4 is au! aus are hard to write sometimes because they require like... being set up so you aren’t just thrust into everything without any idea what’s going on. luckily, i had the excuse of writing kiran as the pov character so i could explain things because he also wouldn’t be used to this

this day gave me some trouble. i made three separate attempts at this day. first attempt was like... a modern day college au that involved alfonse being set up by his parents with a childhood friend of his (zacharias) but because alfonse wasn’t interested in dating someone he hadn’t spoken to in years, he and kiran ended up fake dating for some kind of dinner they were all going to. but, true to fake dating form, they both actually had crushes on each other already

being polyship week, there’s really only one way for that to end: alfonse realizing “oh shit, he really is cute and i do still like him” about zacharias and then asking him out TOO in addition to clearing things up with kiran

i think i got stuck on Why alfonse’s parents would set him up w/ zacharias because i didn’t like the idea i had for it, so i ended up ditching it

attempt two was another soulmate au, this being one of the ones where you have your soulmate’s name on your wrist. but it was a zenith thing, not an “our world” thing. so alfonse and sharena had names, but kiran didn’t. sharena had fjorm’s name, though i don’t think i wrote that far ahead. fjorm/sharena is a cute ship and i should absolutely write something for it some time. but i did write abt sharena, who is trans because she’s trans in all my fics whether i mention it or not, being worried about what name her soulmate would have on her wrist. i probably wasn’t gonna follow up on that since it’s an ot3 fic but fjorm would absolutely have had the name sharena on her wrist

BUT THAT’S VERY MUCH NOT THE POINT anyway, alfonse has bruno’s name on his wrist... which has him thinking he hasn’t met his soulmate since bruno was going by a different name at the time (zacharias, of course)

i think what tripped me up is i tried to add in something about how the names would be on someone’s wrist in the handwriting they had at the age they’d meet? so it’d be implied he already met his soulmate but he wouldn’t know, which i think made things a little difficult for me to continue. had i gone on, i obviously would’ve gone through the reveal that bruno was alfonse’s soulmate

and i didn’t link what prompt i was using in my document like a fool. assumably it’s one of the ones i wrote about how soulmates aren’t The most important people possible, and people can have good relationships with people that aren’t their soulmates

what i’m saying is, alfonse and kiran would’ve gotten together anyway despite not being soulmates. i really can’t remember where i was going with this one though, tbh

anyway those both got scrapped bc i had issues with them, but third time’s the charm and i ended up w/ a red string soulmate au instead

i felt so bad writing kiran turning the both of them down even knowing the ending! i was like “no... come on, you could all be happy together” despite knowing exactly how i wanted this fic to end

i remember this one actually came pretty easily to me, thank god

one of my favorite things about it, that i don’t think many people might’ve picked up on, is the section with kiran and bruno. i mention there being too much food for two people, and kiran passing alfonse in the hallway as he’s rushing back to his room

what i was implying, and what i don’t think many people picked up on, was that alfonse was going to join the two of them so they could all talk about it (intending to tell kiran they were soulmates)

i don’t have any reasoning for bruno being able to see the strings between him, alfonse, and kiran. bruno can’t see everyone’s strings, it’s just those two because they’re his soulmates. but not everyone can see the strings, not even of their soulmates. really my reasoning was just “that’s how i can make this fic work” so i... did it. it’s fine

favorite part: Bruno averted his eyes, laughing nervously. “Well… I might have… fallen in love with you.” At Kiran’s face falling, Bruno went on, saying, “At first I was just grateful that you were so willing to help me. I’ve heard your eagerness to bring me home rivaled even Alfonse’s. But then, when I was finally back here in Askr, I got to see your kindness firsthand. It wasn’t just you wanting to repay a debt. You’re just compassionate by nature.“

You didn’t see me as Bruno, Prince of Embla. You saw me as an equal. I wasn’t used to it. I’m still not. The only people who treat me like an equal now are those who knew me when I was in hiding. It was more than a little refreshing.”

day 5 was a free day, where i could choose literally any prompt on the blog that i wanted. this one also gave me trouble and took 3 attempts to do. the other two both involved clothes swapping, which is another thing i’m weak for. one of those fics also had trans kiran and trans bruno in a way that was more than implied but still not like the center of the fic. honestly it’s something i should work on because i need people to know characters are trans when they read my fics, but i can’t just tag it without it being something actually PART of the fic

anyway. the end result i got was basically written the day it was posted, and like i said in the notes on it, written while i’d only gotten 3 hours of sleep. geo, my beta reader, is literally the reason this fic was any good at all. i’m not that fond of it personally? it’s not bad, exactly, just i don’t really like it much

i think parts of it were pretty good, and i did kind of like having kiran and bruno be the ones to get together first, instead of kiran and alfonse or alfonse and bruno. i should totally write some more about the dynamic between the three of them+in pairs.

i do like that i had alfonse sandwiched between kiran and bruno at one point. that was good and very galaxy brain of me. thanks to geo for helping me properly explain that part because it was very important to me people knew how the three of them were positioned

favorite part: Still, he stepped back, allowing the door to swing open more. The very moment Zacharias closed it behind him, Kiran practically threw himself at Alfonse. “We’re sorry!” Kiran cried out, pulling Alfonse into a surprisingly tight hug. The only reason the two of them hadn’t toppled over due to it was that Zacharias was upon them in the next instant, pulling them both upright. He also spun them around in the process, so Alfonse’s back was up against his friend’s chest.

aaaand since this post is technically about 5 different fics, i might as well include...

favorite fic: it’s a hard choice, but probably day 3! it might not have turned out how i wanted it to go, but i think it was probably the best of the bunch. i’m also super proud of day 2 and day 4, though

[artistemmaduehr-blog]

Graduate School begins

I started graduate school this week at Portland State University. I am really looking forward to what is going to happen over the course of the year. I feel that I will change a lot, my artwork will change, and my inspirations will span from all over. I am taking 4 classes, and PSU does a trimester set up which is really nice for going back to school right away.

The first class I want to share is called Contemporary Art 1. I chose to share this class first because one of the assignments for this class is to run an online progress report, I have chosen to do blog format. I have always wanted to start a blog for multiple reasons: I like to talk and I like to share what is on my mind but ……. no one likes to hear someone talk all about themselves and their ideas. Luke, my boyfriend, is wonderful because he likes to listen… sometimes… ANYWAYS. this blog will be nice because it will force me to organize along the way. This blog will consist of what experiments I am currently working on, the inspiration that drives my work, important articles that coincide with my research, and just be a place that will organize all the crazy ideas that are floating around this art brain of mine. I think I decided right now at this very moment.. right now. that I am never going to edit my blog. soon maybe that just makes it a journal, oh well its whatever it is going to come out of my mouth…fingers….typing….. anything I just need to write or says aloud to someone… I'll write it here. but yeah. I’m gonna let this thing be natural, responding with all natural instinct, I'm not going to allow me to proofread or edit my thoughts, they are just going to come out and help me organize my thoughts and be a mess for you to try to read, but if you are really interested in me and what I am doing every week maybe you can see past all my incorrectly placed commas and incomplete sentences. whoops.

Back to the point now, I guess that was an introduction? haha.

Contemporary Art 1 is the biggest workload of homework, all for excellent reasons. We will be focusing on the last 20 ish years of contemporary art to try to focus on what is being made currently instead of focusing all our attention on dead people. I always look to the dead painters for inspiration, all artists do, but for this class, Tabitha is trying to make us learn about art we probably haven’t been very familiar with in the past. I look forward to it. We will have readings every week and come to class ready to engage in thoughtful conversations relating to anything that drives our personal artwork and contemporary art that surrounds us. We will have papers, and desk homework, all that yada yada yada stuff, but I think it is important that we have at least one class like this that is just LOADED with inspiration and conversation about current art practices. I am going to learn a lot and evolve a shit ton. I AM GEEKED.

Another class is called the Visiting Artist Lecture Series; I am taking this class with Lisa Jarrett who is full of energy and instills positive thoughts into the setting. She is well known in the community and is familiar with all things Portland Art scene. I am really looking forward to working with her. The class is centered around learning from other artists. Throughout the course of the Trimester, we will be hosting four large Artist Lectures planned my Lisa, and the students get to plan three visiting artist conversation series. The artists are chosen by us graduate students and we are in charge of reaching out and hiring the artists to come to talk with us. We are also responsible for advertising the lecture and hosting the events; this means asking all the questions and sparking the conversation at all times. I am looking forward to this professional experience by getting to know many local artists and learning about their progress, process, struggles, and more. Being able to have conversations with the successful local artist will do a lot for my personal development because I will learn a variety of different successful techniques and get to know more artists in the community. Also in this class, we are in charge of updating the Portland State MFA program website. This means writing summaries of events happening at the University and updating the community on what we are working on in our studios. We are in charge of all social network that has to do with the program. I am looking forward to sharing my work on a larger network.

Another class is Studio. Just working in my studio. I will be here all the time, I am here right now. Catch me on the 5th street staring at the sunset currently. I have my own studio space. It is about 15ft x 20-25ft ish? with a massive window that serves for great natural lighting. On the walls, I have a United States map, of course, with a heart around Dubuque, Iowa & Epping, North Dakota & Portland Oregon & Kalaloch National Park. All my favorite places. I also have a lot of embroidery hoops on my walls…. haha only 5 have color and I probably have like 20. I just like them and I want to have color on all of them, but I am obviously going to focus on other things that hoop embroidery. Um, I have a bomb ass wooden desk that has all my sharpies, my favorite plants, sketchbooks, yarn, thread, pencils, and water bottle. Um, on my desk, while I am working I usually have my honking laptop out on this nice pull out cutting board thing and my iPad mini. My iPad usually is fulling my tunes while my phone is dying on the charger because Apple sucks and I can’t charge my phone and listen to headphones at the same time .. same with my iPad. But my iPad has a longer battery life so that's why I use him for music. Ummm I have a comfy chair in the corner for whoever decides to visit m,. come by whenever! um, I have a lot of plants because they bring me joy and make me feel like I’m not alone in this white blob. I have paintings on the wall. I didn’t want to decorate too much because I am going to be working on work, messy work in here as well. gotta have room for my enormous creations. So I am really thankful for this studio I am going to be in this spot every damn day. The class: Studio consists of critique. it is designed that we are in critiquing each other's work every week but we are rotating every week. SO my work will be under critique by my classmates every other Wednesdays. I love critique tho. My cohort is full of 6 students and 1 professor for the class, Laura. Looking forward to hearing everyone's ideas and progress throughout the year.

Last class is meeting with 2 mentors throughout the semester. So the professors of the term are Erik (sculpture) and Lisa( from my other class) I meet with both of them at least 3 times a term. I invite them into my studio and I tell them my thoughts, ideas, where I am currently and where I am thinking about going with my work. It will be nice to have thoughtful conversations with inspirational people in my favorite workspace. I think I will be writing about these meetings quite a bit because I do think they will be crucial to my personal development. Professional criticism every week. I feel very thankful that I will have that.

That's my classes. I probably didn’t do it justice because half way thru I wanted to stop writing and pick up my yarn but I didn’t. stay tuned for more, I will be more thoughtful. I just wanna get this blog going without thinking too much about it. Its gonna be a mess, I think, but it will really help me out along the way. I hope you enjoy checking in and seeing what I am working on and different things that inspire me in different ways.

For my class, we need to update this thing once a week, so I promise.. there will always be something new going on on this page. Whether it's really bad like this one or it's really professionally written and thought about. The goal for school is to document everything, that's the way you get to really get to know yourself in the larger spectrum of things.

ok, that's it. I think I’m going to look for all my favorite things now. && post all the things I have started this past week. let me know what you think! contact me at eduehr@pdx.edu or em.duehr@gmail.com whenever! just to talk or ask any questions! I like to be challenged and spark conversations about any subject.

I hope you had a beautiful sunny day today and did something for someone else today. quit being so selfish, do me a favor, next time you don’t like your meal or couldn't finish it, box it up and give it to someone on the street. Ask people how their day is going. If someone walks onto the bus on crutches and a leg brace and is holding 5000 bags, go help her. if someone is short on change, give it to them. If someone puts back a snickers bar in the grocery store because she decided “she didn’t need it” buy it for her… because I did this once... a little too late. I watched it happen. she put back her Snickers bar and I said: “Hey girl, go on, treat yourself” (yeah I’m a freak sometimes) and she said “thanks!! yeah I think I do deserve it” and she picked it back up and she I guess was short on change, but I didn’t know that until it was too late. I shoulda bought that snickers bar for that woman… because she deserved it.