#also crazy she even brought up people speculating about them but hopefully it puts that to rest omg

[petrovna-zamo]

Trixie & Katya behind the scenes in Monterrey 🇲🇽

[nugnthopkns]

dance me to the end of love (v)

word count: 4.6k

warnings: fem!oc, cursing, alcohol consumption, mentions of poor parenting and damaged familial relationships

series masterpost: here

a/n: and just like that we're halfway through!!! it's crazy to think about it. however, lots happens in this chapter so buckle up peeps

Soon Magdalene’s feelings are going to get the better of her.

She knows she’s heading down a dangerous path but she can’t help it. Ryan is like a drug she can’t get enough of even though she knows it will hurt her in the long run. Living with him has opened her up to the laid back, intelligent, incredibly funny man he is and Magdalene doesn’t know how she’s ever going to function in her own space ever again. They complement each other like two peas in a pod, and everyone else is starting to catch on to the shift in their relationship.

“When are you going to fess up to Ryan about your feelings?” Bette asks as the two of them sit on the lawn across from the university library. It’s mid October, but the weather is still warm enough that Magdalene eats her lunch outside. Her best friend decided to join her today, no doubt knowing that she’s feeling a little lonely. The Avalanche are in the middle of their season opening road trip and have been gone for nearly five days. Ryan’s condo feels empty without him in it, and Magdalene misses him an unfathomable amount.

“Never, if I can help it,” she replies casually, taking a bite of the turkey wrap that Bette brought her from Barn Owl.

The blonde scoffs. “Fuck off. You have to. What are you going to do when he gets back from Florida and you tackle him as soon as he steps through the door.”

“Caligula will get there first,” Magdalene shrugs. “Those two are thick as thieves.”

Truthfully, Magdalene wasn’t sure what she was going to do. This is the longest they’ve been separated since she moved in and it’s proving to be a harder adjustment than she thought. Magdalene feels a little silly missing him so much – she went nearly twenty-six years without knowing Ryan but now he’s imprinted on her soul for the rest of eternity. Living without him seems impossible.

Bette drops the conversation then, almost as if she knows Magdalene is in her own world thinking about what to do. She mentions the upcoming home opener and her plans to attend with a couple of the other wives and girlfriends. “We’re going out beforehand and you should join us! I really think you’d like most of them.”

The bell in the clock tower rings, signalling the start of another hour, and Magdalene promises she’ll consider the offer as they pack up the picnic and say goodbye. It’s a short walk back to the building she works in, seeing as they were only across the street, but it takes a while for the elevator to come around. Magdalene could have taken the stairs down to the basement but they scare her a lot more than she’d like to admit. Hopefully June won’t mind her being a few minutes late.

Her boss doesn’t look too pleased when Magdalene strolls through the door almost seven minutes later then she should have, but as soon as she tosses the cookie Bette brought her in June’s direction all is forgiven. They work in near silence all afternoon, background noise provided by the small stereo in the corner and their respective grunts of frustration when an image doesn’t digitize properly. The university has finally decided to undertake the massive project of making all their school records available to the public online, and Magdalene and June are in charge of getting all the files ready before sending them to IT for installation into the website. It’s a huge task and is going to take them the better part of a month and a half to finish. Magdalene spends the rest of her work day finishing up a box of graduation records from the 1870s and leaves smelling of very old paper.

On the drive home she considers the invitation Bette extended to her. Magdalene knows she’ll be attending the game, having promised Ryan before he left that she’d be there, but she doesn’t know how to feel about going out for dinner and drink beforehand – especially with people so involved with the team. She isn’t like them, in nearly every sense of the phrase, and doesn’t want people to get the wrong idea. It wouldn’t be fair to Ryan for people to assume they’re together in case he ever does want to bring someone around, but Magdalene can’t help thinking that the speculation wouldn’t hurt. Perhaps it would be the clue that shows him how she feels.

The invite stays in the back of her brain while she heats up leftovers and eats quickly, knowing that Ryan will call soon. He’s like clockwork with his precise game day routine, and he always calls shortly after four o’clock when out east. Magdalene’s phone buzzes from the spot beside her on the couch and she quickly scoops it up and accepts the call.

“Hey,” she says, a little breathless because she’s so excited to talk to him.

“Hey yourself. How was work?” Magdalene can tell Ryan’s got a smile on his face even though she can’t see him. She indulges the question, telling him all about the stuff she digitized and what’s next. Though she always tries to get out of talking about work, fearing it will bore the daylights out of him, Ryan insists on hearing every detail Magdalene wants to share. He finds it all fascinating and tells her so every chance he gets. During her monologue Caligula wanders over and becomes extremely invested after he hears Ryan laugh at something Magdalene said. The small white cat jumps onto Magdalene’s lap and tries to paw the phone away from her ear.

“Hold on, I’m putting you on speaker. Little boots would like to talk.”

At the sound of Ryan’s greeting, Caligula starts meowing up a storm. It’s as though he’s actually holding a conversation with the man, waiting for Ryan to say something before he continues to make noise. Magdalene laughs through what could barely classify as a conversation until the cat gives her space to talk again.

“So,” she says, drawing out the word in an attempt to make Ryan laugh. “Bette asked me to join her and some of the other girls for drinks before Friday’s game.”

Ryan’s responding before Magdalene has finished uttering the last words. “That’s great! I think you should go.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he says sheepishly, “It would be nice for you to know someone other than Bette.”

Magdalene is surprised at the response, but tries her hardest to keep her tone light and teasing. “Why, you plan on keeping me around Mr. Graves?” She can tell Ryan is struggling to come up with an answer because there’s a fair amount of sputtering on the other end of the line.

“I’d be stupid to let you go.”

All the breath in Magdalene’s lungs escapes her. She didn’t expect him to say something like that, and it sends her mind reeling. What does he mean? Unable to process the comment, Magdalene makes up an excuse and hangs up as quickly as possible. She spends the rest of the night wondering if Ryan was trying to make a move and deciding how she should handle his homecoming in a few days.

☼☼☼☼

When Ryan gets home Thursday morning Magdalene is at work. Caligula is happy to see him, practically pouncing on him and purring so loud Ryan’s sure the neighbours heard the cat. For an animal so small, Caligula can make a lot of noise if he wants.

“Hi boy,” Ryan coos, adjusting his grip on the cat so he doesn’t get dropped while the two of them move around the house. “Did your mom talk about me while I was gone? Been thinking about her a lot lately.”

The cat doesn’t respond, of course, but Ryan finds comfort in vocalizing his emotions. Multiple times on the road trip Tyson made fun of him for the silent pining he’s found himself participating in since Magdalene moved in, and hinted that she might have said something to Bette. Neither of them are great at keeping secrets, but Ryan also knows they want him and Magdalene to get together and aren’t above manipulation to achieve their goals. He doesn’t know how Magdalene actually feels, but Ryan isn’t willing to risk losing their friendship. Just a couple of months ago she sat on the deck of the lake house and told him she wasn’t looking for a relationship – he has to assume that’s still her position because if he doesn’t Ryan isn’t quite sure what he’ll unleash. Though the two of them are close, closer than most friends, Magdalene stills keeps a lot of things to herself and Ryan doesn’t want to pry. When, and if, she’s ready he knows she’ll come to him.

Exhausted from the countless hours of travel he’s endured over the past few days and the pains that come along with being a professional athlete, Ryan falls back onto the couch cushions. He hurts in places he didn’t know existed and wants to do nothing but sleep. Caligula settles into his stomach, purring contently, and though he knows he should unpack his gear, Ryan can’t find the energy to move himself or the cat. Everything will still be there when he wakes up, and hopefully Magdalene will be on her way home. She texted Ryan earlier in the morning, no doubt just before she headed out the door, to say that she was taking some holidays to have a long weekend and would be home around noon. Sleep comes easy with Caligula nestled against his body, and Ryan dreams of Magdalene as he frequently does.

☼☼☼☼

Despite Bette telling her countless times she shouldn’t be, Magdalene is nervous. The significant others of the Colorado Avalanche are a tight knit group and are very particular with who they let in. Magdalene is a nothing, has no true connections to the team besides being Tyson’s girlfriend’s best friend, and she’s worried she won’t make the cut. If it wasn’t for Bette picking her up in the morning Magdalene would have found a way to get out of drinks, but the blonde made sure she couldn’t make a run for it.

Sitting in the elevated booth, she not-so-casually sips her glass of wine while Bette tries to calm her down. “They’re going to hate me,” she groans, lowering her head to rest it on the table.

“Shut the fuck up,” Bette counters. “You literally know most of them, and Livy will be here if you get too uncomfortable, but most of them were at EJ’s back in May.”

Magdalene can’t argue with the truth, so she rolls her eyes and finishes her drink. By the time she flags down the waiter for a refill the other girls have arrived. They take turns hugging Bette and shuffling into their seats. Magdalene feels awkward with no one acknowledging her, but she does her best to buck up and deal with it. It means a lot to Bette, and Ryan, that she’s here trying to make friends so she’ll at least make an effort.

A blonde who looks a little older than the rest addresses her first. “I’m not sure if you remember me, but I’m Mel. I think we met last season at a game.”

It takes Magdalene a second to recall the face, but then she recognizes Mel as the person who alerted her to the fight Ryan got into to defend Tyson. “Oh yeah,” she chuckles, though it’s still got a nervous quality, “You’re the one who was yelling about Ryan’s fight.”

Everyone looks at her like Magdalene had confessed to seeing a ghost. “What’s the matter?”

“No one ever calls him that,” a petite girl with tight curls explains. “We all just call him Gravy.”

“Oh.”

Magdalene isn’t sure what the comment is supposed to mean, or if it even meant anything at all, but she does her best to push it aside because Livy is trying to catch up with her. The rest of the outing goes well – Magdalene keeps quiet until someone gives an inaccurate analogy about Rome and she has to correct them. It may make her seem stuck up, but she really hates when people spread misinformation. Everyone laughs, and after that it’s hard for Magdalene to stay silent. She talks about work and college, but when someone asks about home she shuts down. Bette notices the shift in her behaviour before Magdalene’s face has even dropped, and shifts the conversation in another direction. Soon it’s a respectable time to head to the arena and they all pay their tabs, Magdalene going first and then ducking out of the bar that became crowded while they were sitting down.

The fresh air feels good against her skin, and she takes the time alone to regulate her thoughts. There’s still several hours until she can return home and cry in the shower over the mention of her family so it’s important to present a calm facade. Bette comes out slightly ahead of the other girls and checks in with her friend, but Magdalene assures her she’s okay. It was a bit of a spook, but the other girls have no idea about how fucked up her familial situation is so Magdalene can’t hold it against them. The arena is a few blocks over, so the group walks towards it at a brisk pace. Magdalene’s mind is still churning from the bar when they step inside, so she peels off from the rest of the group. Warm ups are about to start and she knows that seeing Ryan will help to calm her down, at least until they can go home and she can sequester herself away from the rest of the world.

She finds a space against the glass and strains her eyes for her new favourite number. Ryan hasn’t made it out on the ice yet, but Tyson gives her a big wave when he skates past. It takes a few seconds, though it feels like years, but Ryan eventually steps out, all long limbs and hair and dazzling smile as his teammates give him big hi-fives. Magdalene doesn’t want to intrude but she needs to spend a few moments with him to feel completely present. When he skates by she waves shyly, and Ryan doubles back once he realizes who it is.

“There’s my favourite girl!” he shouts over the crowd, making sure Magdalene can hear.

The phrase brings a smile to her face, which in turn makes Ryan light up more. “Hi Ry,” she yells back. “I just wanted to come and say hi.”

Ryan’s heart warms at her words, but he knows that’s not the only reason. He’s lived with her long enough to know that something is bothering her but he isn’t going to push. There isn’t much time to have a conversation, so Ryan takes the time to make plans for after the game. “You riding home with me?”

Magdalene nods. “Yeah. Bette picked me up this morning so I didn’t drive.”

The loud sound of sticks clapping against the ice startles them both, and it’s Ryan’s teammate’s way of getting him to refocus. Magdalene says goodbye and before Ryan heads back to the bench he flips a puck over the glass for her. She smiles brightly, and watches him skate away. On her way up the stairs she hands it to a little girl wearing a much too big Graves jersey. It makes her night, and Magdalene returns to the private box she’s watching the game from feeling much lighter than when she entered the arena.

☼☼☼☼

Later, much later, after all of Ryan’s post game media and sitting through the traffic of downtown, Magdalene opens up about what was bothering her at the arena. The two of them are curled up in Ryan’s bed buried under a mass of blankets with several pillows strewn about. It’s become a frequent place for them to spend time, and every time they lay down Magdalene rests her head on Ryan’s chest and he keeps her in place with his arms wrapped tightly around her. Magdalene’s clutching his hoodie tighter than usual, her voice small as she speaks into the darkness of the room.

“I didn’t just want to say hi earlier.”

Ryan isn’t surprised by her confession, but wants to know what caused the surprise visit. “No? What was it?”

Magdalene lift head and shifts to face him, propping herself up with an open palm. “It’s kind of stupid,” she mumbles, feeling dumb for even bringing it up. Ryan doesn’t want to know the sob story that is her past life. “But it’s mostly okay now.”

“You don’t have to tell me, and I don’t want to push, but I think getting it off your chest will help,” he whispers, feeling like talking in a normal voice could startle the girl in front of him.

He’s right – Magdalene knows it. Telling someone the truth, as much of the truth as she can share, other than Bette would do her some good. Her therapist once said Magdalene needed to work on letting people in, and she figures there’s no one better than Ryan. “One of the girls asked me about home when we were getting drinks, and it’s just a really sore subject for me. I shut down and just needed to see you to ground myself.” Ryan goes to talk, but Magdalene continues. “No one really knows, but I left for Denver as soon as I graduated high school. My parents weren’t the greatest, and I suffered a lot emotionally at home. When I told them I was leaving, they told me never to come back and we haven’t spoken since. So yeah, that’s pretty much it. And I just needed to see you to remind myself that I’m okay without my family. You’re part of my family now, the one that really matters.”

Ryan is speechless. “Oh bug,” he sighs, heart hurting for all the pain Magdalene has experienced in her life. “I’m so sorry.” He wants to scream for her, maybe even break something, but all his anger dissipates when he looks down and sees her crying. Silently, Ryan wipes away the tears with the pad of his thumb and holds Magdalene until she stops trembling. They lay in silence for a while, sitting with the weight of the confession she just made. At some point Caligula shuffles in and finds a spot at Ryan’s side that isn’t occupied by Magdalene. The three of them feel like a little family, and it’s too good for Magdalene not to do something about.

“Can I kiss you?”

She’s never been so confident while asking a question. Magdalene knows he wants to kiss Ryan, has known for a while, and after baring her soul to him it seems like an appropriate time to take the plunge. They’ve never truly been just friends and everyone around them, including themselves, knows it.

“Mags,” Ryan says in a gentle yet stern voice, “I’m not gonna kiss you. You’ve just been very vulnerable with me, which I appreciate, and though I really really want to fucking kiss you I’m going to take advantage of you like that.”

If it were possible, Magdalene’s heart would expand so much it would be close to bursting. “I promise this is what I want and that I’ve been thinking about it for a long time. So please shut the fuck up and let me kiss you.”

She leans forward to connect their lips, and it feels like a fire has been ignited in her veins. Ryan is soft and gentle with the right amount of grit to make Magdalene weak in the knees. They move in tandem, giving and taking where necessary, and by the time they pull apart for air Magdalene thinks she’ll never be able to kiss anyone other than Ryan. When he looks at her, eyes kind and glimmering with light, Magdalene is certain kissing other people is off the table.

Neither of them make an effort to talk about what just happened or what it means. Instead, Magdalene kisses him again, and again, and keeps going until she’s completely out of breath. There’s no protest from Ryan, and he looks as blissful as Magdalene feels. She rests her head on his chest again and he cards his fingers through her hair as they sit in the comfortable silence that surrounds them.

☼☼☼☼

Magdalene keeps kissing Ryan, and he keeps kissing her. It’s always in the safety of his apartment, oftentimes with Caligula in the way, but wholesome and loving and warm. They haven’t defined their relationship, and truthfully Magdalene is glad. She likes being friends with Ryan and doesn’t know how the added pressures of dating would affect them – though she might like kissing him more than just being friends.

It becomes routine for either of them to reach for a kiss before heading to the door. Magdalene gets one every time she leaves for work, and if she’s there before Ryan has to leave for games he’s pulled into her lips by his tie. It’s fun and it’s new and Magdalene never wants it to end. She keeps the secret for a couple weeks, but eventually it becomes too much to hold in and she tells Bette one Saturday when they meet for brunch at Barn Owl because the boys are away.

“I kissed Ryan.” It’s out of her mouth like a bullet, cutting through the air and ringing out. Bette is shocked, jaw dropping, only to open further when Magdalene corrects herself. “Been kissing Ryan, actually.”

“You’re fucking joking,” Bette laughs, still not one hundred percent sure Magdalene is being serious. When the brunette nods her head, she squeals in what can only be presumed as delight. “Shut up! Tell me everything!”

Magdalene indulges her friend, and spills every detail she’s willing to share. Part of her wants to keep a bit of her life with Ryan a secret so she does, but Bette is more than willing to work with the information given. She listens carefully while Magdalene talks and waits until there’s nothing more to say before diving into a long list of reasons why kissing Ryan is the best thing that’s ever happened to her friend. Magdalene isn’t sure that it’s great because Bette will always have someone to go to games with, but she is in agreement that it is one of the best choices she’s ever made. They spend the rest of the morning giggling like school girls over potential love and Magdalene heads back to Ryan’s place feeling light and airy.

☼☼☼☼

The first thing Ryan does when he comes home is kisses Magdalene. She’s sitting on the couch with Caligula on her lap reading a book, and he doesn’t even bother to drop his bags on the floor before leaning over the worn leather and connecting their lips. It feels heavenly after the days-long absence and Magdalene chases his lips when Ryan pulls away.

“I missed you.”

They’re three words that shouldn’t mean much, but coming from him they send Magdalene spiralling. He missed her? The girl who spends her days geeking out over old documents and talks to her cat? Regardless of how true the statement is she appreciates it, because Magdalene missed Ryan more than she could ever explain.

“How was the flight home?” she asks, twirling a lock of his hair around her index finger and pulling him down for another kiss. Ryan happily obliges, and kisses her until Caligula begins to meow for attention. The cat practically launches himself into Ryan’s arms as he rounds the corner to sit down next to Magdalene, and purrs loudly at being reunited with the tall man.

Ryan laughs at the animal’s antics before wrapping his spare arm around Magdalene and pulling her close. “It was fine. We hit a bit of turbulence that made it hard to sleep but I managed,” he replies, and reaches for the television remote. Magdalene hums in response, resting her head on Ryan’s shoulder and returning her attention to the book in her hands. It’s silent except for the low buzz of the television as Ryan reviews tape, but neither of them mind. Co-existing is enough for both of them, and it’s peaceful and easy. The occasional conversation occurs but they mostly do their own thing, enjoying the feeling of being together again. More than a few kisses are shared, and Magdalene eventually pries herself away from Ryan long enough to make dinner.

They stayed glued to each other until Magdalene falls asleep. Ryan doesn’t even notice when it happens, but eventually he tries to leave the couch to get a glass of water and finds dead weight on top of him in the shape of the girl he just might love. Magdalene’s snoring softly, and he’s positive there is nothing more adorable in the entire world. A glance at the clock on the wall alerts Ryan to the fact that he should go to bed too, and he begins to brainstorm how to get Magdalene into bed without waking her. She’s been exhausted lately, working extended hours, and he knows she needs all the rest she can get.

It takes a few moments to coordinate, but Ryan gets himself upright without Magdalene realizing she’s no longer using him as a pillow. Gently he scoops her into his arms and pads down the hallway, careful not to hit her ankles on the walls or door frames. Once inside her room, Ryan tucks Magdalene into bed and makes sure her phone is on the nightstand just where she likes it. She looks so content in sleep that he can’t help but lean down and press a shirt kiss to her forehead.

“Night Mags,” he whispers into the dark, wondering if she’ll wake and hear all the adoration his voice holds.

Magdalene stirs at the noise, and opens her eyes to see Ryan’s retreating figure. “Night Ry.”

It’s late, approaching two in the morning, when Magdalene’s phone starts ringing off the hook. Though Ryan has told her multiple times that she doesn’t need to turn her sound on before she goes to bed, she can never find it in her to heed his words. What if there’s an emergency somewhere and some hospital has to get a hold of her? Magdalene would never be able to forgive herself if she was too late because she slept through the incoming calls.

Despite her underlying fears of missing something important, Magdalene considers letting it go to voicemail. She’s exhausted, between the high maintenance projects at work and trying her hardest to go to every Avalanche home game she can, and if it’s urgent she’s sure the person will call again if they need her. It rings three more times before Magdalene decides to pick it up – if only to stop the incessant noise.

Not bothering to even see who’s calling at such an ungodly hour, Magdalene speaks in a sleep-laden voice that betrays what she was doing not even a minute prior. “Hello?”

Bette answers her, offering a quick but sincere apology for the time but explaining that it couldn’t wait. Magdalene groans in contempt, thinking that it most certainly could have waited a few more hours. She doesn’t voice her opinion however, instead waiting for her friend to spill whatever news was making her bounce up and down on the other side of the line.

She’s about to hang up when Bette utters a sentence Magdalene’s been waiting for but never thought she’d hear at one fifty-seven am. “I’m getting married!”

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @scrunchmakar @marcoscandellas @toplinetommy @samsteel @lovethepreds @cutiesara23 @hockeyallthetime @stlouisbluesbrat21 @denis-scorianov @danglesnipecelly @c-tangerine @stormingroses @spine-buster @rapidfever @bb-nhlqueen7 (add yourself to the taglist!)

[the-void-i-scream-into]

White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 2/3

Full Story: Part 1, Part 3

Hello Everyone! I hope you are all happy and healthy. Part 2 of my Junjin fanfic is finally up. Thank you so much to the beautiful and wonderful people who liked my fanfic. I am so sorry I have not been responding to your lovely comments. I had exams so I was really busy but I will get to them now. It took me a long time to post this next part because I wanted to finish both Part 2 and 3. I’ll be posting the other part too once I’ve proofread everything

As always, this chapter is dedicated to the Shooters GC (which I haven’t checked in so long, I’m so sorry)  🙈 🙈

Please do be warned, this does get a little dark. But it will pay off in Part 3, I promise.

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers

Word Count: 13.5k

Rating: T

TRIGGER WARNING: Some of the themes in this story are a little dark, specifically in section iii. Please be warned. I’ve added a summary for section iii in section iv so you can skip it if needed.

PART 2

i.

They both spoke at the same time.

“Ya Kang Sujin…”

“Ya Han Seojun…”

“What the hell happened?”

Seojun had been in a strange state of mind all day. First it was waking up in the enemy’s bed, but that part he had completely blocked out. Then it was the massive hangover, the effects of which he was still reeling from. On top of that he had received a scolding for being late to practice, which caused him to be late to his commercial shoot, which caused him to be late for his recording session which was when he had been informed about his scandal.

Seojun normally didn’t care for rumors that spread about him. He relied on his performance to speak for itself; the people online with their uninformed opinions didn’t matter.

“But why did it have to be her?!” He had groaned when he first read the articles. But then he asked himself seriously, “Why did it have to be her?”

It all seemed too convenient. Additionally, she had been the one to drag him for drinks and then back to her apartment.

Was this another one of her schemes? What would she gain from doing this? Maybe it was because he was on to her and could see the truth about her and now she wanted him gone. Yes, it must have been that. Or was it not? Was his theory too farfetched? Maybe he was being too harsh. Maybe he was misunderstanding the situation.

Seojun felt conflicted. On the one hand, it would have been so easy to just blame Sujin and keep on hating her like he wanted to. On the other hand, he could hear Suho in his head, warning him about being too judgmental. Seojun normally trusted his instincts with everything but this time his own instincts were confused. Should be giving Sujin the benefit of the doubt? 

Seojun knew that if he needed answers, he would need to go to the source.

“What the hell happened?” They both asked each other at the same time but neither had the answer.

“How the hell would I know? It was your apartment.”

“The pictures were obviously taken by someone was obsessed with you.” Sujin fumed.

“Are you saying this is my fault?”

“Then are you saying it’s mine?”

“I’m not the one who took us out drinking then brought me back home to her apartment!”

“I’m not the one with the crazy saesangs!”

“My fans are not crazy! They are way better than arrogant women with a princess complex like you!”

“Don’t call me princess.” Sujin said dangerously.

“Or what? You’ll get me drunk and back at your apartment again?”

“Ah shut up, you man-child!” Sujin hung up and Seojun flung his phone across the room where it bounced onto the couch. He was seething.

“Aish!” Seojun kicked the air.

“Did you talk to Sujin?” Heekyung’s calm voice startled Seojun.

“What? Oh, Noona.” Seojun gulped.

“How was she? Was she okay?”

“Umm…” Seojun blinked

“She must have been shaken. Facing something like this can be very upsetting.”

Seojun’s shoulders deflated. “Uh, yeah…” He hadn’t considered that.

“Did she agree to give a statement to help clear up this mess?”

Oh right, I was supposed to ask her…

Heekyung continued, “I do have good news. We’ve found the person who took the photographs. So he won’t be sharing them with anyone else.”

“You have?”

“Yes. It was unfortunate. A photographer happened to be there, just as you were leaving. He actually recognized you from your voice. Talk about having bad luck.”

Seojun frowned. So, it wasn’t Sujin.

“So will Sujin do it? We just need a simple statement. She can release a post on her socials and we’ll take care of the media articles.”

Seojun rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Um, I don’t think she’ll agree.” . Especially not after the blaming match that just happened. “Can’t we just clarify things on our end? Not get her involved?”

Heekyung smiled with a twinkle in her eye, “Oh I get it. You don’t want her to feel burdened.”

Seojun could tell what she was implying. “Ah-nee! Its not that at all!” His voice was pitched a little too high.

Heekyung laughed, “I’ve been at this for longer than you, Seojun-ah. You can be straight with me.”

“It’s not like that! I don’t care about Kang Sujin at all!”

But Heekyung wasn’t listening. “Just be careful. Your career has just started. You can’t afford scandals like these. People will turn against you in an instant, you know?”

Seojun swallowed. He knew all too well how people could turn against him in an instant, like the way thy did with Seyeon. But he wanted to believe that he would be able to face them.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”

Heekyung nodded. “Good. Now I’ll go tell our PR team to release a statement about you and Sujin being just friends.” Seojun nodded gratefully. “I think the fact that you went to school together will help. Hopefully people will buy it when you tell them nothing happened between you two.” Heekyung winked as she walked away.

“It’s not like that!” Seojun called after her.

ii.

The situation subsided as quickly as it had risen. Move Entertainment published their official statement about how it was all a misunderstanding. That Seojun had only been visiting his friend from high school and the fact that the friend was also a mutual with rising online beauty guru Lim Jukyung helped establish the connection. Seojun had been glad that Jukyung had taken those selfies with Sujin with Seojun in the background otherwise people might have just taken the statement as an excuse.

What annoyed Seojun about the whole situation was not his reputation or the online speculation but how everyone else kept teasing him about it. This was made especially worse when they were all gathered around for drinks, including his own squad, Chorong and Co., who were eyeing Sujin with a mixture of adoration—that made them stare at her, and fear—that kept them from talking to her.

“Ooh, Han Seojun you better not drink too much or you’ll end up in Sujin’s apartment again.” Taehoon teased. Seojun gave him the death glare while Sujin made a disgusted face. Everyone else laughed.

“Guys! Don’t be mean.” Jukyung’s voice went unheard among the collective chatter.

“Han Seojun, I can see you’ve been keeping a very close eye on Kang Sujin.” Chorong whispered in his ear. Seojun elbowed his ribs.

“Pay up, Sujin didn’t kill him.” Suho asked from Suah.

“You guys had a bet?” Sujin asked icily. Seojun almost admired the scathing look Sujin gave Suho as she eyed the money being exchanged.

Suho’s and Suah’s hands froze right when they were exchanging the bills.

“No?” Suho said weakly.

“Kang Su, I bet on you okay?” Suah defended.

“Ah is that so? Well then you’re off the hook.”

Suah relaxed while Suho blinked forty times, sweating. “Kang Sujin. It was just a joke okay?”

Sujin just put her hand forward and Suho silently put the money in her hands.

“Wah, just 5 dollars? I’m worth 5 million you know.”

“Sure you are. And I’m the King of England.” Seojun said under his breath. Kang Sujin and her princess complex.

“What was that?” Sujin put her hand to her ear, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the apology you owe me.”

“What apology? I owe you nothing.” Seojun retorted, fully aware that he had actually come to this gathering to apologize to Sujin about the scandal and how he had behaved over the phone. That plan had since been abandoned. 

For some reason, he could not spit out the three words ‘I am sorry’ to Kang Sujin. No matter how much he wanted to. There was just something about her that irritated him to the point of misbehavior.

Sujin clicked her tongue at Seojun but said nothing. Instead, reaching into her bag, she pulled out a notebook and a pen.

“Here, sign this.” She ordered, pushing the notebook and pen in his face.

“What is it?”

For Kang Sujin, the biggest issue from the scandal had not been the online noteriety and not even the teasing, but the fact that everyone in her office now knew that she was friends with an idol and had demanded that she get them his autographs.

“Its for my friends at work.”

“You have friends?” Seojun said with mock surprise.

“You know I was just as shocked to learn that you have actual fans. I always thought Suho was the one buying all your albums.” Sujin said.

“Of course I have fans! I am super popular you know!” Seojun defended, pulling the lapels of his jacket with pride.

“Yes I’m sure you’re veeeery popular.” Sujin’s words dripped with sarcasm. Seojun’s pride deflated like a balloon. “Just sign. And write something nice too.” She ordered. Seojun quietly picked up the notebook, not because he was nice but because he felt he owed her this much.

“You know my autographs are worth a lot of money, right?”

Sujin made a face. “Just sign the damn thing so that the girls at work stop harassing me about you.”

Seojun smiled as he signed. His fans were awesome. “How many?” He asked.

“Seven.”

He signed seven pages, each with a personalized note.

“Be nice to my fans at work.”

“I’m always nice.”

“Sure you are.” Seojun replied skeptically. He handed Sujin the notebook. “I better not find you selling these online.” He warned.

“I’d rather starve than live off of your autographs.” Sujin bit back.

“Okay, okay! No more fighting!” Jukyung pointed between the two. “Lets all enjoy our drinks in peace.” She looked pointedly at Sujin who pointed her chin at Seojun with a ‘he-started-it’ scowl.

“Han Seo, is it okay for you to meet us in public like this?” Suah asked. They weren’t in the usual private dining area that they frequented when it was just the core group of friends. They were out where everyone could see.

“We can always hang out at our place, if you want.” Suho offered. Seojun quickly shook his head. Seeing Suho and Jukyung together outside was one thing. Seeing how they lived together was quite another. Knowing they lived together was painful enough. He didn’t want even more fuel for his imagination.

“Its no trouble at all.” He put on a smile for Suho who seemed satisfied. But, to his surprise, he found Kang Sujin giving him a strange look. She chuckled to herself but said nothing.

As they all said their goodbyes, Seojun went out the back so that he could leave in privacy. He planned on taking the long route today. A bike ride would help him clear his mind.

“Han Seojun, wait up!”

He stopped just as he was about to put his helmet on. He was surprised to find Sujin there. 

“What? Need more autographs?” He asked, cockily smiling.

Sujin made a sickened expression. “Not at all. I just… I had something to say.” She hesitated.

“Well say it.”

She cleared her throat. “It was neither of our faults. The scandal. It wasn’t that it was my building or your fans. It was someone shitty who didn’t respect our privacy. That’s… that’s all I wanted to say.”

Sujin waited for his response. Seojun could feel his face burning. He should have been the one to say all this to her, and yet here she was apologizing to him instead.

“I’msorryforwhathappened.” He said too quickly and too quietly.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Seojun shoved his helmet on to hide his embarrassed face. 

“Drive safe.” Sujin said.

“Yeah, whatever.” He rode away.

Kang Sujin was just glad she was able to spit out the words she had been meaning to say all night long. It had been weighing on her ever since they had spoken on the phone. She had promised herself a long time ago that she would try to be a nicer person and for the most part she had accomplished that. But that Han Seojun just had a way of bringing her old self back to the surface. And that bothered her.

It doesn’t matter, she told herself. She would learn how to get along with Han Seojun. It was only a matter of practice. And besides, it wasn’t as if she had to be overtly obvious about it. She just had to tolerate him.

For Jukyung. It’s for Jukyung. She would want us to get along, she lied to herself. The truth was, that Kang Sujin believed that she didn’t have a choice.

Everyone loved Han Seojun, even her best friends who had never paid much attention to him back in high school. It was all because Sujin had been absent for so long. She had missed a huge part of everyone’s lives while Han Seojun had been there for all of it.

Sujin wondered whether, if it came to choosing between her and Seojun, they would choose her. A part of her believed they wouldn’t.

She had made such a mess of things before and left things unresolved for too long. She was certain that things would never go back to the way they had been, not fully anyway. There would always be a part of them that wouldn’t trust her. And there would always be a part of her that would be heavy with guilt.   

“Ah-nee-ya.” She reassured herself. “I don’t need to worry about this.”

She was glad that the whole matter of being mistaken as Han Seojun’s girlfriend had been settled. She laughed at the very idea.

“Me and Han Seojun dating. Ah, how funny.”

Sujin had heard of horror stories about how such scandals ruined people’s lives and got them shunned by society. Thank fully, none of that had happened. Her precious peace was safe again.

Sujin could see her future now; a life where she worked hard at her non-profit, where she shared dinners and lunches with her friends and laughed about the old days, where she wasn’t told she wasn’t good enough, where she did what she wanted instead of being forced to do what her father wanted. Yes, Kang Sujin could see her like ahead—a life where she was finally happy.

iii.

At first Sujin thought she was being paranoid. But her co-workers seemed to be acting stand-offish with her, with some outright avoiding her. They weren’t replying to her as enthusiastically they used to and were having hushed conversations that immediately stopped when she approached them. They even made plans for lunch without including her.

“Is something wrong?” Sujin asked one of them.

“Not at all. Shall we get to work?” It sounded more like a snub than reassurance.

Sujin also felt the hairs on her neck rise from time to time, as if she could feel someone watching her. But when she turned around, everyone would look away.

Convincing herself that it was all in her head, Sujin ignored it and went on with her work.

But then it happened again at the convenience store. She heard her name being said in whispers behind her. When she turned, she found a couple of teenagers quickly putting away their phone. Despite the anxiety bubbling in her stomach, Sujin dismissed the incident and went home.

Normally after a long day at work, Sujin would throw her phone away, have dinner while watching TV, shower and go to sleep. But today had been strange and she was feeling out of sorts. She needed a distraction to help her calm down.

So, after a shower, she settled back on her couch with her dinner and her phone. Jukyung normally posted a new make-up tutorial by this day of the week. Sujin loved watching her transform herself from an ordinary looking girl to a stunning beauty, while explaining each step.

To Kang Sujin, Jukyung was an artist who used her face as a canvas. Sujin herself had learned a lot just from watching Jukyung. She was excited about what she would learn today.

Sujin dismissed the dozens of Instagram notifications on her phone. Suah was always tagging her and messaging her about some post or the other. Sujin would get to them later. As Sujin searched for Jukyung’s channel, her Instagram notifications kept dinging. She put it on mute and played the video.

This time, Jukyung was giving a tutorial on American style makeup and how it was different from Korean style. Sujin grinned all the way through the video as Jukyung talked through her tutorial. Sujin scrolled through the comments as she watched.

My beauty Queen! I love you!

I tried your winged liner look and was able to finally do it for myself. Thank you.

I use the exact same foundation but it doesn’t work for my skin. But looks great on you. <3

You didn’t mention the eyeliner you used here. Can you please add it in the description?

This is why I have trust issues. She looks like a completely different person. This is fraud.

Sujin frowned at the last comment. “She looks beautiful either way.” She said angrily aloud as she typed it in, punching the buttons as if she could punch the commentor. Sujin scrolled further.

Who else came here after reading the Soompi article?

This comment had a lot of likes and comments. Maybe Jukyung was getting famous enough to be reported by entertainment websites now. Sujin smiled proudly.

Lim Jukyung, yours is the best makeup channel here!

Saranghae unnie

I was so sad to learn that you were bullied as a kid. So glad that you’ve found success now.

Sujin swallowed thickly. It would always bother her to know that she had once exploited Jukyung’s past bullying for her own gain. The fact that she had once contributed to her bullying would always fuel Sujin’s self hatred. She was just glad that Jukyung had moved on from her past and had become confident in herself. And more so, had found a community online that adored her.

As Sujin scrolled down some more, she noticed that most of the comments were talking about how Jukyung was a survivor of bullying.

“Mwo-ya…”

Wow, I had no idea this girl was so brave. Bravo!!!

I’m a survivor of bullying too. Its nice to know I’m not alone.

I bet her bully is watching this now and regretting what they did.

I don’t watch makeup tutorials. Came here cuz of the bullying scandal. But stayed cuz she is so good.

The last comment made Sujin stop. “Bullying scandal?”

Sujin went to Naver and searched for scandals involving Lim Jukyung. The first few links were Jukyung’s most popular videos but beneath that were a slew of articles from slanderous gossip sites.

Girl from Han Seojun Scandal Turns Out to be a Bully

Online Star Lim Jukyung Gets Involved in Han Seojun Scandal

Han Seojun’s Alleged Girlfriend was a Bully in High School

“What?!” Sujin stood up on her feet in shock. With shaking hands, she went through the articles one by one. Somehow, someone had uncovered the post from her high school community page that had revealed what she had done to Jukyung. Except they had gotten their facts mixed up and had reported that Sujin had been the one to bully Lim Jukyung about her looks.

That girl is so despicable.

Han Seojun is hanging out with a girl like her? I can’t believe it. I actually used to like him.

I bet this girl seduced Oppa. Don’t dislike him!

I am so glad they’re not actually dating.

Her face is so evil. And she’s uglier than Lim Jukyung!

I bet Han Seojun was fooled by her. She feels like the type who uses her looks to manipulate men.

People like her should kill themselves.

Guys! I found her Inssa!

It really is her! This is authentic!

The room began to close in on Sujin. She immediately opened Instagram where her account was flooded with comments and direct messages from people either telling her to kill herself or threatening to kill her.

Her heart was beating so fast it felt like she would throw it up. She was equal parts shaken and angry. So many people were after her but she hated that these people felt they had a right to treat her this way.

Sujin opened up the messages on Instagram and began firing back to her haters, starting with the most recent messages.

Get off of my account before I report you.

No thanks, I’m not going to kill myself.

Threatening me will only get you sued.

You don’t have to follow me if you don’t like me.

“These assholes think they can bully me online? Well, they’ve got another thing coming.” Sujin growled through clenched teeth as she typed away with all her anger.

I did not bully her!

I made a mistake!

I apologized!

People immediately started responding.

You’re not even going to admit your mistake?

OMG! I can’t believe you actually replied!

Are you honestly defending what you did?

You can’t talk like that to me! I’m going to tell everyone you’re a total b****

How can you be so audacious after you bullied someone? Just kill yourself.

Do us all a favor and kill yourself.

Kill yourself.

KILL YOURSELF.

Sujin screamed in frustration and threw her phone away. It smashed into the wall and landed with a sickening thud. Her hands suddenly felt clammy. Clammy and sticky and sweaty and dirty, dirty, dirty. So dirty that they smelled.

She ran into the bathroom and furiously scrubbed her hands clean. Once, twice, three times. No matter how many times she washed or how hard she scrubbed, the dirty stench of the hate she had just received wouldn’t wash off.

Her hands became all red and felt raw and exposed. But she kept on washing till she ran out of soap. She fell to the floor, suddenly weak and exhausted. The cool tiles felt nice and it was then that she noticed how hot she felt.

Calm down. I have to calm down. She breathed in, then out. In, then out. She could hear her heart in her ears. Pounding and pounding. The walls were closing in. The messages on her Instagram suddenly had voices that shouted in her mind.

Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself.

A ringing broke through it all. First Sujin thought it was in her head but no, it was from the living room.

Her cellphone. Lim Jukyung was calling.

How could she face Jukyung? What would she say to her? Wouldn’t Jukyung say the same as everyone else?

Sujin cut the call. Notifications from Instagram were still coming in. She deactivated her account and deleted the app.

Lim Jukyung’s name lit up her phone again.

She turned it off and flopped down on her sofa, head pounding.

Her fragile little hope for a good life was now shattered completely. She could hear her father now. Hear him yell at her that she was useless, that she was pathetic, that she was stupid and inferior. Unable to beat even Lee Suho.

Kill yourself.

Her father had never told her this, but he might as well have. Even now it was his voice saying it over and over in her mind. It was his angry stare she felt on her back.

How would she face people now? People would hate her now that they knew what she had done. And her co-workers…. Of course they knew. That’s why everyone had been acting so strange.

This all felt so cruel and unfair. She had been so good these past couple of years. She didn’t want all of it to just be taken away like this.

But didn’t you do the same thing to Jukyung? Her father’s voice taunted. She was a good person too, wasn’t she? You’re nothing but a piece of trash.

I bet you think that you destroyed Lim Jukyung, Seojun’s voice said, but you’ve only destroyed yourself.

iv.

SUMMARY of iii: Because of the Han Seojun scandal, people find out about the community post that revealed what Sujin had done to Jukyung and people online start thinking that Sujin bullied Jukyung. They harrass her and it becomes a scandal of its own.

It was chaos at Move Entertainment.

“What the hell happened?! You told me you settled this!” The director threw a magazine in Heekyung’s face. Seojun saw this through the glass door and barged in.

“Is that how you treat your employees?” He demanded angrily.

“Get out. Get. Him. Out! Get him out of this company for good measure!”

Heekyung pushed Seojun out before he could do anything else, dragging him as far away as possible. “Don’t be an idiot. You can’t just barge in like that.”

“But he’s being an asshole. Should I just stand around and let you take it?”

“This is the adult world Han Seojun. Actions have consequences here.” Heekyung said reasonably. “And you’re the reason he’s so mad. A bullying scandal is serious. We’ve even publicly acknowledged that you and Sujin are friends. This doesn’t reflect well on you.”

“The articles are lying. Sujin didn’t bully Jukyung in high school. She just—”

“I know exactly what she did. You think I don’t know about what happened to my own sister?” For a brief moment, Heekyung’s professional demeanor slipped into anger. But she recovered quickly. “It infuriates me that my sister’s past is being brought up like this. But I have a job to do and I need you to cooperate with me. Okay?”

Seojun exhaled. “What are we going to do?”

“Nothing. The situation will sort itself out. You will need to keep a low profile, however.”

Seojun exhaled. “Noona, we need to set the record straight. Sujin is—”

“Sujin isn’t represented by Move, you are. None of us here can do anything about what is happening to her.”

Seojun clenched his jaw. “Have you seen what is being said about her?”

Heekyung looked away. “Its not like I enjoy saying this. I’m only telling you what I was told when I made the same request. She’s not represented by us. She’s not our concern.”

“Was Seyeon not your concern either?”

Heekyung had nothing to say to that. “I have to go back in. You stay here, arachi? Don’t do anything rash and…” she yanked Seojun’s phone from his hand.

“Ah!” Seojun tried to get it but Heekyung had the phone out of reach.

“I’m keeping this for now.” She said and left.

Seojun exclaimed in frustration, running his hands through his hair. Despite the animosity he had towards Kang Sujin, this kind of exposure to such vitriol online didn’t sit well with him. Kang Sujin deserved a lot of things, but she didn’t deserve this.

He knew Sujin was tough. But this kind of incident would make anyone crumble. He just hoped she didn’t do anything stupid.

v.

“Sujin-ah. Can you explain your side of things?”

Of course her office had heard about everything. Apparently her past misdeeds were a trending topic online. Her supervisor had called her in as soon as Sujin had shown up.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Her supervisor asked.

Sujin inhaled, “When I was in high school, I fell in love with a boy. But he had a girlfriend… she was a friend of mine. I got jealous… and petty. I published an unflattering video of her on our school’s online community. She had been bullied in her previous school because of her looks. So the video was especially traumatizing to her. I was responsible for what happened in Saebom High, but I wasn’t involved in anything that happened before that.”

Sujin looked at her hands, still red and raw, “I have made up with her since then. I’ve apologized. We’re both friends now. And I’m not a teenager anymore.”

Something stung Sujin’s hand. Water droplets? No, tears. She hadn’t noticed when she had started crying. But she kept her face straight even when the tears didn’t stop. She looked at her supervisor.

“I am ashamed of what I did. If I could take it all back… you have no idea what I would do to take it all back.” Sujin furiously wiped away her tears. She hated crying in front of anyone. “I love working here. I really do.”

Even as she was saying the words, she knew what was coming. Of course her company wouldn’t keep her on. Even non-profits couldn’t afford bad reputations and the fact that Move Entertainment had worked with her company for a lot of benefits hadn’t escaped her notice either.

“Sujin-ah.” Her co-worker said, peeking from the cubicle wall as Sujin packed up her things.

“What?”

“I never thanked you. For getting me Han Seojun’s signature.” The woman said meekly.

Sujin gave a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

The woman handed her a bunch of sticky notes. “These are goodbyes from everyone. We know you’re not getting a farewell party so we thought you should have our thoughts with you.”

Sujin looked down at the brightly colored notes that contained encouraging messages from some of her co-workers. Her dismissal had been so swift that she hadn’t even been given the chance to say anything.

“If its worth anything… I don’t believe any of it.”

Sujin smiled gratefully this time. “Thanks, Chulhee-yah. I appreciate it.”

vi.

Sujin was both grateful and surprised by how much her friends had reached out. Apparently they had showed up to her place multiple times to see if she was okay, given that she was not answering any of her calls. Sadly, Sujin had not been there to receive them. She had gone to her aunt’s place to get away from everything.

That had not proved to be a good idea.

“Have. You. Lost. Your. Mind!!” Each word was punctuated with a smack from a slipper. Her mother, the once elegant and graceful Mrs. Kang, chased her daughter around in the most inelegant and ungraceful manner. Mrs. Kang’s sister tried to save Sujin by stepping in between but Mrs. Kang still managed to get a few whacks in.

“How could you let a boy stay over at your place?!”

“Omma! That’s what you choose to focus on?!”

“Yes! How could you have disgraced your family this way? And not just any boy, an idol? What the hell were you doing with an idol? Come here.”

This was one fight Sujin would never win. Her mother was not a force of reason when she was this angry. And it took a lot for her to get this angry.

Sujin didn’t mind these smacks. They came from a place of love and worry. Eventually her mother calmed down enough to address the other issue with Sujin. She took her daughter in her arms and wailed.

“How could those people be so mean to my daughter?”

“Omma, I can’t breathe.” Her mother smushed Sujin to herself.

“My poor girl. My poor baby girl.”

In the end, Sujin was glad she had come back to her aunt’s place. It gave her the break she had needed. Away from all of the noise of her online haters, Sujin found she could finally breathe. She found great comfort in her mother’s arms and her aunt’s assurances her that everything would be fine.

However, the dread of returning to her normal life still loomed over her head. Sujin felt her throat close up every time she imagined going back to her apartment. Would the people point and laugh at her on the street? Would she be able to live a normal life from now on?

It was strange how deeply all of this had affected her. Even now, as Sujin walked from the grocery store to her aunt’s house, she felt the paranoia that people were talking about her, pointing and laughing, even though they weren’t. 

“Sujin-ah.”

And now it felt like they were actually calling out to her.

“Kang Su!”

Sujin turned in surprise, ready to fight whoever had called her. “Who is it?”

“Who do you think? It’s Jukyungie! ” A human mass known as Lim Jukyung ran towards Kang Sujin with arms wide open. The girls hugged each other tightly, Jukyung grinning with her gummy smile while Sujin stood, mouth open in shock.

Not far behind, were Suah and Taehoon.

“Ya Kang Su, at least answer your phone! Do you know how worried I was?” Suah scolded.

Sujin laughed, almost tearing up. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She had feared that her friends would turn away and curse at her after she had avoided them. But here they were, all gathered just for her.

“How’d you find me?” She asked the three. They all turned to Suho who stood there smiling.

“Hey Sujin. Have you been well?”

Of course, Suho knew where her aunt lived.

“What well? You all know what happened.” Sujin replied, not bothering to pretend that she was fine.

“Ya! What have you done to your hands.” Jukyung held up Sujin’s scabby hands with worry.

“It’ll heal.” Sujin smiled. Maybe it was the massive hug she had received, or the fact that her friends had traveled so far away to meet her, but suddenly, Sujin felt relieved. It was as if the entire situation was trivial and that she could see light at the end of the tunnel.

“Of course we know what happened.” Suho replied.

“And we know exactly how to fix it.” Jukyung grinned wider.

vii.

On the screen, in front of a ring light she had set up at her home, Lim Jukyung stood with a gummy smile and a warm welcome.

“Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. This is Lim Jukyung here with a new make up tutorial for all of my beautiful viewers. Uh, today I have a new kind of tutorial for you all. But before we begin, there is something that I think has been on all of our minds that needs to be addressed.”

Jukyung motioned to someone standing behind the camera to come forward. Kang Sujin entered the frame awkwardly, not knowing where exactly to look. The way Jukyung had set up her studio for this live event was to have the camera, the mirror with the ring light and her laptop screen facing her so that she could do her make up while also reading the comments. And while Jukyung was used to having all of this equipment focused on her, Sujin was not.

“Introduce yourself.” Jukyung said softly, nudging Sujin with her elbow.

“Ah, yes.” Sujin cleared her throat. “Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.” She waved robotically while staring in the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

Jukyung couldn’t help but laugh. “Ya, Kang Su, are you afraid of the camera?”

“Ah-neeeee, it’s just so unnatural.” Sujin quickly countered.

“Don’t worry, the camera doesn’t bite.” Jukyung put an arm around her friend’s waist. “Okay everyone now that my friend Kang Sujin is here we can talk about the recent—”

“Lim Ju, maybe we shouldn’t do this.” Sujin interrupted anxiously.

“Huh? But it’s already live.” Jukyung pointed at the camera.

“What?” Sujin on in panic.

Jukyung continued, “So everyone, as you all may have heard, Sujin and I went to the same high school together. However, before that I attended another high school where I was bullied for my looks. Sujin and I did not know each other back then and she had nothing to do with that part of my life so the allegations that she bullied me are completely false. That was another person and that person is no longer in my life.”

Sujin cut in, “However, it is true that I revealed Jukyung’s past to our school and posted an unflattering video of her online.”

Jukyung nodded, looking serious. “I won’t lie and say it was easy for me to have that happen. But… both of us have changed since then. We have grown up and grown past that time.”

The girls took each other’s hands in solidarity.

Jukyung continued, “I’m not the girl I used to be. Neither is Sujin. And while she did do something wrong… I’ve forgiven her. I would rather remember the good times we shared…” The time that Sujin caught that pervert, the time she helped rescue Jukyung from those kidnappers, the time she helped hide Jukyung’s bare face at the school trip. “There are things that I wish I had done differently too. I wish had been more confident in myself and honest about who I really was. I wish I had stood up for myself earlier. But the past is the past, and I would rather focus on the present.”

“Everyone, I am grateful for all of the love and support you showed to me. I know bullying isn’t something you get over easily and I saw a lot of you comment about the bullying that you suffered. I am grateful you shared your stories with me. I hope we can take this opportunity to help each other heal rather than put someone down.” Jukyung looked at Sujin. “Now you.”

Sujin recited nervously, “Ah. Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.”

Jukyung giggled. “We’ve done that already.”

“Oh, yes. Um… I uh…” Sujin took a pause to collect herself. “Let me be the first to say that I’m not a nice person—”

“Yah!” Jukyung protested but Sujin carried on.

“But I’m also not the girl who posted that video about her best friend, not anymore. At that time… I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung. I have regretted doing that every single day since it happened. I am sorry. I understand everyone’s anger towards me. I would be angry too if I heard this about someone else. However, I hope that you all will be able to forgive me, as Jukyung has.”

Sujin ended her speech with an apologetic bow. Jukyung bowed with her. The girls then shared a tearful hug. From the back, Sujin saw Suho give her a thumbs up. Sujin sent him a smile back. The girls parted, wiping their tears.

“Okay! Now that that’s out of the way, we can get on to the real reason why you are on here.” Jukyung clasped her hands together. “Sujin will be assisting me today.”

“Ah, yes.”

“So Kang Su, shall we bring out our model today?” Jukyung asked her with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

The girls nodded conspiratorially before turning to Suho who looked on, confused.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

viii.

“What is it? What are you laughing at?” Chorong asked Seojun as he leaned over his shoulder. They were at Chorong’s place where the boys were goofing off, playing video games and lounging about.

Seojun didn’t hear Chorong’s inquiry through his ear buds and kept on shaking with silent laughter.

“Hey, nobody said anything about me being in the video.” Suho was protesting on Seojun’s phone. Seojun turned up the volume to hear Suho’s annoyed grumbling more clearly. Of course, Seojun was going to make fun of Suho about this afterwards. 

“Just sit down, Lee Su, before I get mad.” Sujin commanded.

“That attitude of yours has never worked on me,” Suho replied coolly.

“Come on, Suho-ya. I do your makeup all the time don’t I? It’ll be fine. I promise.” Of course, when Jukyung said this, Suho melted like butter on a hot pan. Sujin rolled her eyes but it was clear that it wasn’t out of spite.

“Okay everyone! Let’s begin with the base and then we’ll work our way up! I am going to keep this look as natural as possible so that its not modifying anything but merely enhancing his features.” Jukyung pushed Suho’s bangs out of his forehead with a giant pink bow shaped clip. Seojun was quick to get a screen shot of it.

“What are Lee Suho and Kang Sujin doing on Jukyung’s channel?” Chorong asked in Seojun’s ear, shocking him. Seojun almost screamed in fear. He pushed away Chorong’s face to watch the video in peace.

In the live video, Jukyung was explaining the differences of applying make up on a guy’s face, versus a girl’s face.

“Sujin-ah. Why don’t you read some of the comments while I’m buffing in his foundation? You have to buff it in for a long time to make it appear natural.” Jukyung told her audience.

Sujin moved towards the camera, blocking Jukyung a little as she read off of her laptop. Her unfiltered face was front and center for the world to see. At this position it looked unflattering, which made Seojun chuckle even more.

Sujin read the comments in a robotic monotone, “Jukyung Unnie, I don’t usually watch make up tutorials. But after today I’m your number one fan.”

“Mwo-ya, this girl has no camera sense.” Seojun said to himself.

“Thank you! I’m your fan too,” Jukyung replied brightly.

“Your looks are always so classy and stylish.”

“Thank you! I’m glad you liked them. Let me know if there are any other looks you’d like to see.”

“Will you do a tutorial on how to wear red lipstick properly?”

“I’m actually planning on doing that soon!”

“Lim Jukyung, you are so beautiful. Marry me please!”

Suho got up to see the screen, “Who asked that?”

“Sit down!” Jukyung pulled him back as he grumbled. “Sorry,” Jukyung said to the camera, “but I’m taken.”

“Are you and Kang Sujin really friends now?” Sujin turned to Jukyung and all Seojun could see was her shiny black hair on screen.

“Dangyunhaji! In fact, if I wasn’t dating Suho, Kang Sujin would be my boyfriend.”

Seojun scoffed, “As if. It would have been me.”

On the live, Sujin laughed, “Is that so? We can still be together though. Have an affair behind Suho’s back.”

“Sure.” Jukyung said casually.

“Yah!” Suho protested.

Both girls giggled.

Suho looked miffed, “Kang Sujin, you’re blocking the view.” He said peevishly.

“Oh sorry. I’ll move.” Sujin circled around the couple to stand behind Jukyung and read the comments over her shoulder.

Jukyung read something on the screen and pointed it to Sujin, “Read that one.”

Sujin hesitantly read, “Kang Sujin, I’m sorry for judging you.” She looked up, “It’s okay. I can be harsh in my judgements too. The key is to try to learn from your past.” Sujin smiled at the camera before turning back to the screen.

“Kang Sujin, you’re pretty.” Sujin recited in her monotone voice. “Yes. I know.” She said without looking up.

“She is also super smart!” Jukyung gushed. “She was one of the top students in class.”

“Could never beat me though.” Suho said smugly, still sore about the affair comment. Both girls turned to Suho and stared. His mouth became small. “Sorry.”

Jukyung went back to explaining her tutorial, slowly performing each step as Suho patiently sat. She made his eyes look bigger and applied a natural lip tint to finish off.

Both girls couldn’t help but gawk at how good Suho look by the end. Jukyung removed the pink blow clip from his hair in a daze.

“How do I look?” He asked Jukyung.

“Too good, Lee Suho.” Sujin clapped. “Too good.”

Jukyung blushed but couldn’t articulate her thoughts. She stuttered, “Uh-ah! Let’s look at the c-c-comments again!”

Suho grinned.

“Lim Jukyung, you were amazing as always!” Sujin read aloud.

“Thank you.” Jukyung bowed.

“Watch the latest and best movies for free at—”

“Sujin that’s just spam.”

“Oh. Right.” Sujin continued, “Lee Suho looks prettier than the both of you.”

The girls’ face fell flat. Suho just looked innocently at the camera. The girls cleared their throats.

“Ah that’s all the time we have!”

“Ah, yes! Time to move on!”

The two pushed Suho out of the frame together.

“I can still be on camera if you—”

“No, I think the people have seen enough of you.” Sujin said while smiling widely at the camera.

Jukyung went wide eyed when she looked into her computer screen. “Ya! This live got 3.3 thousand comments!”

“Daebak. Good job Lim Ju!” The girls grinned, but then Sujin squinted her eyes disapprovingly at something on the screen. “Lim Jukyung, you look so ugly without makeup? Ya, who wrote this comment? User name KimChee23? Why don’t you show yourself to me and then we can see who’s really ugly?”

“Sujin-ah. It’s just a comment.” Jukyung tried to calm her.

“Comments matter too! Otherwise people wouldn’t be writing them! Ya KimChee23 where do you live?”

Seojun laughed out loud as he saw Jukyung try to calm Sujin down on screen.

“So, is everything all settled now?” Chorong asked Seojun.

“I think, yes. Just look at all the comments praising Sujin.”

He was right, the comments section was flooded with statements of Sujin being a brave person for apologizing and changing her bad behavior. 

“Great.” Chorong shook his friend’s shoulders. “Now you don’t have to be so troubled about Lim Jukyung.”

“Lim Jukyung? Why would I be troubled about her?”

Chorong was confused. He had not known about the scandal. The matter Chorong had been referring to was Seojun’s theory that Kang was apparently still after Lee Suho.

“I mean... haven’t you been in a bad mood all week because of her?”

“Why bother asking Chorong?” One of the boys said, “You know the answer to all of Seojun’s heartaches is Lim Jukyung.”

Seojun didn’t bother responding. He returned to his phone screen where Jukyung and Kang Sujin were wrapping up the live, waving at the camera with wide smiles. Suho was trying to get back in the frame and Sujin kept pushing his out of it.

“Ooh. Look at how Han Seojun is smiling.”

“Something good must have happened.”

“See! He’s always thinking of Lim Jukyung.”

“No I’m not!” Seojun protested. Quietly, he admitted. “I wasn’t thinking of Lim Jukyung.”

ix.

Han Seojun had arrived at Kang Sujin’s building an hour ago, but for the life of him he could not muster the courage to go up to her apartment.

“I have no reason to see her. So, why should I?” He argued with himself. He paced back and forth, going up the entrance and then going back again, unable to enter.

In his hands, Han Seojun held a beautiful arrangement of white tulips and yellow roses. White tulips as an apology and yellow roses as an offering of friendship. It was his way of apologizing for being a jerk.

After hearing everything she had said on the live event, Seojun had no doubt that Kang Sujin wasn’t who he thought she was. Certainly, if Jukyung and even Suho could trust her, then he could at least give her the benefit of the doubt. 

It had felt like a good idea at the time to try to make amends with flowers. But now that he was actually here, at her home, he felt stupid.

What would Kang Sujin say when he showed up at her place? Would she laugh at him and tell him to go to hell? Would she be offended that he just showed up, unannounced? The uncertainly of it all made him anxious.

As he went back down the steps to the building entrance for the thousandth time, Seojun bumped into a lady.

“Oh ma’am. I’m so sorry!”

The woman had been carrying tote bags with plastic containers of food in them. The bags had fallen to the ground but luckily, the containers and the food inside them were unharmed, just a little shaken.

Seojun looked at the woman with an apologetic face. She appeared to be a very dignified lady, as old as his mother. Her hair was up in a chic bun and she wore well fitted, albeit a little worn out, clothes. Her brows were crinkled in disapproval. But upon seeing Seojun, her face softened.

“Are you okay, ma’am?” Seojun asked and his humble words spoken in that rich baritone subsided the woman’s irritation further to the point where she smiled.

“Omo, how can someone be so handsome?”

Seojun beamed. Elders had always loved him. “Ah, thank you.” He responded shyly. “Let me help you carry these.” He took the heavy bags from her, putting the flowers under his arm, careful not to smush them.

“Oh no. I don’t want to bother.”

“It’s no bother at all, ma’am. I insist.” He didn’t let the woman say another word, walking past her into the building. The woman smiled and followed.

“Are you going to visit your girlfriend?” The woman asked, eyeing the flowers.

“A friend. A friend who is a girl.”

“Is that what the youngsters are calling it these days?”

“Ah-nee-heyo. It’s not like that.”

The woman just smiled knowingly. “I’m going to visit a special girl too. My daughter lives in this building.”

They entered the elevator. Seojun asked which floor the woman wanted to go to. “Oh, I’m going to the same floor. Maybe my friend knows your daughter.”

“I’m sure she does. My daughter is a wonderful girl.”

When the lady walked in the same direction as Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh. My friend lives this way too. What a coincidence. They might live right next to each other.”

“Then you should come over with your friend. I will cook for you.”

And when the woman stood in front of Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh, this is my friend’s apartment. Are they roommates?”

“Young man, is your friend’s name Kang Sujin?”

“Yes, ma’am. How did you know?” Seojun asked, surprised.

The lady patted Seojun’s face, “At least you have good looks.” She punched in Sujin’s passcode and went in. Han Seojun stood outside for a full minute before he connected the dots. And then his eyes went wide.

“Sujin isn’t home yet. Why don’t you wait inside?” Mrs. Kang called out.

“I’m so sorry Mrs. Kang. I didn’t recognize you.” Seojun entered, placing the bags on Sujin’s counter.

“It’s okay, Son. You’ve known Sujin long?”

“I went to Sujin’s school. I knew her through Lee Suho.” He had only seen Sujin’s mother a couple of times at school. But never up close. She had seemed so stuck up like Sujin at the time; with her fur coats and expensive jewelry. Now she seemed like just another lady. Her appearance seemed to have humbled after the divorce.

“Oh Suho! Lovely child. How is he these days? Sujin doesn’t tell me anything.”

“He’s good ma’am.”

Mrs. Kang started lining the containers on the counter. It seemed like too much food for one person.

“Sujinnie never eats properly. She always scolds me for worrying but what can I do? She never takes care of herself.”

Indeed, when Mrs. Kang opened Sujin’s fridge, it was empty save a few water bottles and expired milk that Mrs. Kang threw away.

“And look at you! All skin and bones! It is unfashionable to be healthy these days?”

It was a complaint he had heard from his mother as well. But Seojun had to maintain a lean figure for his job, as he was about to explain to Mrs. Kang.

“Ma’am I actually have to diet beca—”

“I won’t hear it! Sit. I will get you something to eat. I’ve brought more than enough.” Mrs. Kang commanded. Seojun could see where Sujin got her tough exterior from.

“I don’t want to be a bother…”

“Nonesense! It’s no bother at all. Especially not for,” she eyed the bouquet Seojun had placed on the counter, “Sujin’s friend.”

Seojun wanted to protest Mrs. Kang’s assumptions but figured that denying it would only reinforce the idea. He would let Sujin clear up the matter.

“Well if you’re going to cook Mrs. Kang, you might as well let me help.” Seojun often cooked with his mother and was used to being in the kitchen so his culinary prowess impressed Mrs. Kang greatly.

“Your mother must be so proud of you.” Seojun grinned at the compliment. He decided that he liked Mrs. Kang.

Likewise, Mrs. Kang decided that she liked Seojun. She put the flowers he had brought in a vase and brought it to the table. As they cooked, she went on and on about Sujin and her many accomplishments. The woman was very proud of her daughter.

Seojun listened diligently as Mrs. Kang explained how much she was worried about Sujin. The non-profit sector didn’t exactly offer a lucrative career. Not as much being a doctor would have.

“I remember how much she had wanted to be a doctor as a child. Omma, I want to heal everyone, she would tell me. But when her father started pushing her and pushing her… suddenly it was all about ranking number 1, not helping people and her heart just wasn’t in it anymore.” Mrs. Kang lamented. She gave Seojun a considering look. “Has she told you… about her father?”

About the divorce? “Yes. I know.”

Mrs. Kang looked at him tenderly, “You must really be close to my daughter then. She’s a very private girl.”

Seojun didn’t understand why the woman as acting like it was some secret. Everyone knew about Mr. and Mrs. Kang’s separation.

The woman stared into the distance. “If I look back, I can only blame myself. I should have stopped it the first day her father started hitting her. But I was blind. I believed that it would all stop if she got good grades and got into a good university. My husband was always a tough man, but had never been like that to me, you see. I didn’t realize what he was doing to Sujin till it was too late.”

Seojun froze. He felt he had been told something he wasn’t supposed to know.

“And then, she started taking her anger out on other people… it might have been late, but I finally put my foot down. I’m glad my girl is in a better place now.”

Mrs. Kang looked down in remorse. Seojun found it hard to keep looking at her. He suddenly recalled what Sujin had said in Jukyung’s video.

I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung. 

Ah, crap. Seojun thought.

“My daughter is a sensitive girl, despite how strong she appears. I just want to know that she is with people who will care for her, and not hurt her.” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun meaningfully. He swallowed.

“She is Mrs. Kang. You don’t have to worry.”

The woman pressed his hands gratefully. “You must have heard… about what Sujin was involved in recently.”

Seojun was sure he was going to die today. His heart felt like guilt had wrapped its sharp claws around it and was squeezing tightly.

“Ah. Yes.”

“Don’t believe any of it! My Sujinnie isn’t that kind of girl”

“Ah. Yes.”

“She did go a little astray in school, but what kid doesn’t go through a phase like that? Show me a teenager who has never made a mistake!”

“You’re absolutely right ma’am.” Was all Seojun could say.

“If only I could get my hands on that Han Seojun.” Seojun felt his heart stop. It was then that he realized that he never really introduced himself to Mrs. Kang. “How dare that no good idol take advantage of my daughter? Ah-nee, what kind of a person stays over a girl’s place like that? And doesn’t even help when she gets into trouble because of him?”

Seojun could see his funeral now, his mother crying for him as his friends lined up to regret their loss.

Guys… take care. Please check on my mother for me.

The door chimed as Sujin entered. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed Han Seojun and her mother sitting at a table full of food, waiting for her.

“Ah, Omma why have you come all this way again? Do you really like tiring yourself out so much?” Sujin scolded as she hurriedly put on her indoor slippers.

“Is that any way to greet your mother?” Mrs. Kang scolded back.

Sujin was undeterred. “You know I can always come and visit you and Auntie. Why do you have to come here? And look at all this food! How is this okay for one person? It always goes bad and then I have to throw it out.”

“It goes bad because you don’t eat enough, bad girl! You see what I have to deal with?” Mrs. Kang turned to Seojun who had gone white.

“Ya Han Seojun, what are you doing here?” Sujin asked him.

There was a second of silence where no one spoke. A pin drop could be heard.

“Han Seojun?” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun. On stage, with makeup on, Seojun looked different. Here, in person, it was difficult to recognize him. But now that his name had been spoken, Mrs. Kang could see the young man whose face had been plastered all over the articles concerning Sujin.

“You… you’re the Han Seojun from the scandal?”

Sujin quickly caught on. “Seojun. Run.”

And then all hell exploded, or rather, one Mrs. Kang. Sujin jumped in her mother’s path as the woman got up with a slipper in her hand. Han Seojun lept off his chair and bowed furiously.

“I am so sorry Mrs. Kang. I am so sorry for all the trouble caused!”

Sujin desperately tried to block her mother’s blows but Mrs. Kang was a formidable woman. She smacked Han Seojun with her slipper.

“Do. You. Have. Any idea. What. Problems. You. Caused!” She punctuated each word with a smack. Seojun, for his part, did not run but rather took it like a man. He was just glad she was beating him with a slipper and not a heel.

“Run! Why aren’t you running?” Sujin asked him as she tried to grab her mother’s wrists.

“Are you protecting him? After everything that happened?”

“I’m really sorry Mrs. Kang.” Seojun said.

“Sorry? What good will an apology do? Will an apology undo the pain you’ve caused?” Her words sounded eerily familiar.

“Ah Omma, stop hitting him! He didn’t do anything. It was my fault. It was all my idea.”

Mrs. Kang stopped. “What?”

And thus, it became Kang Sujin’s turn to be given the mom-smack down.

“Ah Omma WAEEEE??”

“It was your idea to bring him home?!”

“Omma you’ve already beaten me about that!”

“I haven’t beaten you enough.”

“Mrs. Kang please! We were both drunk. Sujin had no choice but to—”

“What?” Mrs. Kang went ballistic.

Sujin glared at Seojun, “Han Seojun do you actually want us both to die?”

“YOU WERE DRUNK?!”

“Omma it wasn’t like that!”

“Mrs. Kang it really wasn’t.” Seojun chimed in.

“If it wasn’t then why is he bringing you flowers? Why is he showing up at your place?”

Sujin looked at the tulips and roses on her table. White tulips, a flower of regret. And yellow roses, flowers of friendship. Sujin knew exactly what they meant. She wondered if Han Seojun knew too or if he just got really lucky with his choices.

It was a while before Mrs. Kang calmed down. Seojun felt thoroughly sore. Both he and Sujin sat on the floor with guilty expressions on their faces, looking like school children being punished.

“Get out. I don’t want to see the likes of your around my daughter ever again.”

“Omma.”

Seojun bowed his head to the ground. “I am really sorry Mrs. Kang. I’m really sorry for all of the trouble that I’ve caused. I assure you I will never let anything like that happen again.”

Mrs. Kang crossed her arms and looked away.

“Omma. Neither of us had any idea that something like this would happen. Its not Seojun’s fault. And besides, he got into trouble too.” Sujin nudged him with her elbow.

“Yes, ma’am. I was almost kicked out of my company.” Which wasn’t exactly true but Seojun didn’t mind fibbing a little.

“You should have been!” Mrs. Kang fumed but then softened when she saw Seojun’s best puppy dog face. Han Seojun was always good with ladies, especially ones that were mad at him.

He inched closer to Mrs. Kang. “Mrs. Kang. I’m really regretful about what Sujin faced.” He took her hands in his. Sujin watched in astonishment as Han Seojun turned her mother’s boiling anger to a low simmer. “But I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make sure that this never happens again.”

Mrs. Kang cleared her throat.

“And look, the food we both prepared has gotten all cold. Wouldn’t it be better if we all eat and talk calmly?”

Sujin scoffed, not only at the blatant pandering but at the fact that it was working. Mrs. Kang’s anger all but disappeared. It came to a point that as they all ate, she began taking his side.

“How could you risk an idol’s reputation like that?” She asked Sujin who could only roll her eyes.

“Omma, how can you say that?”

“I mean, now that I think about it, it isn’t Seojun’s fault that his fans came after you.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe this.” Sujin scowled.

As dumb as Han Seojun had appeared, Sujin had to admit this was pretty shrewd. It made her wonder what else she had misjudged him on. He even got himself invited by Mrs. Kang to come by again for dinner.

“Your mom is incredible.” Seojun told Sujin as they walked to the convenience store. Mrs. Hand had sent them out for some ice-cream since she had brought nothing for dessert.

“She’s changed a lot after the divorce. She’s more herself now.”

They walked slowly, enjoying the night air and the silence. Oddly enough the quiet didn’t feel awkward or strange. Neither of them felt any pressure to speak. They got papico, the ice-cream that came in squishy bottles, and sat by on the benches outside.

“Kang Sujin,” Seojun began, “about what happened… are you… You know when I, um… I guess what I’m trying to say is…”

Sujin laughed, a clear gurgle of joy that made Seojun feel strange in his stomach. “Mwo-ya? Has the great Han Seojun been rendered speechless?” She laughed some more and Seojun didn’t stop her. “Relax Han Seojun. I’m fine.”

Seojun looked at his feet. “I… wasn’t happy with what happened to do… with the articles and how everybody was talking about you.”

“Gwenchana. It’s over now. I mean I had to make another Instagram account but all in all, its not as bad now. Besides,” she tilted her chin, “do you think a bunch of cowards who hide behind usernames are enough to take me down? I’m Kang Sujin, remember? Badass of Saebom High.”

“I thought I was the badass of Saebom high.” Seojun raised a brow.

“You were the gangster.” Sujin grinned, eating her ice-cream.

“I’m glad you’re tough. You don’t let these things bother you.”

“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. People telling me that I’m the worst and I should die wasn’t exactly easy.” She said grimly. “But you know what upset me the most?”

“What?”

“That I couldn’t beat those cowards up for saying what they did.” Sujin got up and punched the air. “If I could just get my hands on those twerps then I would teach them a lesson or two.” She punched the air.

The fire in Sujin’s eyes was so comical that Seojun burst out laughing.

“Don’t laugh! Hajima! I’m not joking.”

“Kang Sujin, were you always such a fighter?”

“Yup!” Sujin stated simply. She sat back besides Seojun, closer this time. And he noticed. “What about you?” She asked. “How are you doing?”

Seojun leaned back leisurely, “Eh, I’m fine. I don’t worry about public perception anyway. The people who matter will know me. Everyone else is just noise.”

“I bet your fans would leave you in a second.” Sujin teased.

“Don’t diss my fans. They’re all cool and awesome.”

“What, all two of them? Do they also happen to be named Jukyung and Suho?”

“You’re forgetting Chorong.”

The two giggled.

“Did your co-workers ask for more autographs?”

“Nope. Got fired before they could.”

“What?” Seojun stood up. Sujin relayed how her company had let her go after details about her past misconduct were released online.

“How could they just fire you? Isn’t that illegal?”

“Calm down. It’s normal for that to happen.”

“How can you be so calm?”

“Would you rather I get angry? There’s no point in doing that. I won’t get that job back.”

Seojun pressed his lips together in a tight line and sat back down.

“I’m surprised that you’re actually defending me.” Sujin sounded impressed.

“I mean… its wrong. Even if you and I don’t get along, what’s wrong is wrong.”

Sujin chuckled. She looked at the time on her phone. “I should get back. How are you getting home?”

“I brought my bike.”

“Your company lets you ride motorbikes?”

“Nope.” Seojun grinned.

“A’ight. Good night, Han Seojun. Stay safe.” Sujin walked back in the direction of the apartment. Feeling light and happy. While her online image hadn’t completely recovered, her relationship with Han Seojun had. She might not have to simply tolerate his presence now. They might genuinely get along.

“Kang Sujin!” Han Seojun called out to her, the woman who he thought was vile and destructive. The person that turned wasn’t that woman. It was the little girl who had looked to her father with love but only got his abuse in return.

“I’m sorry I misjudged you.” Seojun told the little girl.

The girl smiled. “I’m sorry I misjudged you too.”

x.

It was unfamiliar territory, getting along with Kang Sujin. More for the group than Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. They all looked at the pair in wonder and shock when Sujin asked Seojun to pass the soy sauce and he obliged. It shocked them further when Sujin laughed when Seojun bragged about being recognized at a department store and being asked for pictures.

“Hey, you feeling okay?” Jukyung asked Sujin quietly.

“Yeah, why?” Sujin replied.

“Nothing. Just asking.”

“Hey, what’s up with you?” Suho asked Seojun privately.

“What?”

“You’re acting all weird around Kang Sujin.”

“Weird how?”

“You’re being nice.”

“Am I not supposed to be?”

“Okay! Who’s going to go first?” Taehoon asked the room, interrupting Suho and Seojun’s conversation. 

They were at Suho’s apartment where he had a karaoke machine set up. Seojun had finally relented to visiting their place and it was just as painful as he had thought it would be. It was a mishmash to Jukyung’s bright and lively style with Suho’s dark and moody one.

The posters of rock bands and Junji Itou’s mangas were something both of them shared. It was fascinating how the two of the most caring people in Seojun’s life were into such dark things. Seojun saw Sujin eye one of the horror comic book posters suspiciously, as if the monster drawn in them could come out any second.

Chorong sang first, sharing a duet with his girlfriend. Then Taehoon and Suah went next. Duets seemed to be the theme of the night. Jukyung and Suho went next.

“Alright? Who else?”

Sujin was the only girl left.

“Well I’m not going up there.” She said when everyone looked at her. She eyed the other boys, all of whom were terrified of her. Even they could still hear Kang Sujin saying Ya Han Seojun, are you a gangster?!

“Jukyung-ah. Sing with me.” Sujin grabbed Jukyung’s hand and led her up before she could say anything.

“I’m singing too!” Suah joined.

Seojun went next. His was a solo and he clearly was the best performer. His rich baritone singing in a soft melody made everyone pay attention.

“Isn’t it nice to have an idol as a friend?” Suah asked. “Its like having a private concert.” Jukyung and Sujin nodded in agreement.

Everyone swayed their heads to the beat, except for Kang Sujin who was noticing the lyrics Han Seojun was singing.

I want to give you all of my days

I want to tell you all these feelings of mine

The sleepless blue winds

Brightly light up this night

He was singing about Lim Jukyung. Sujin looked over to her friend, who was looking longingly in Suho’s eyes. The two were entranced with each other, not noticing Han Seojun who stood just a couple of feet away, pouring his heart out.

After all the fun had been wrapped up, Seojun and Sujin had been the only two to stay back. Sujin had helped Jukyung clean up while Suho went to throw out the trash.

As Sujin cleaned the dishes, Seojun sat in the living room, looking at all of the pictures Jukyung and Suho had hung up. He could see how Suho and Jukyung would sit on the very couch he was on and watch TV together or lie around reading books.

He tried to replay those images, with himself there with Jukyung instead of Suho but he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to himself about who she belonged to.

“You know, Han Seojun, I just realized something.” Sujin called from the kitchen.

“What?”

“You have two hands.”

Seojun looked at her like she had lost her mind. “Wow, Kang Sherlock. Your powers of deduction amaze me.”

“So, since you have those two hands, and you’re a gentleman, why not help me out over here? I assume you would feel bad that I’m the only one doing any actual cleaning.”

“You assume incorrectly. I have no issues with you doing all the cleaning.” Seojun turned back to the TV and was promptly hit in the head with a dish rag.

“Oops.” Sujin said flatly.

Seojun got up, dish rag in hand. Wordlessly, he took out the dishes from the washer and lined them up in the cabinets.

“Aren’t you ever afraid that Jukyung will be uncomfortable about you singing love songs to her?” Sujin asked in a low voice.

“What do you mean?”

“That song you sang. My heart is full of you, I’m starting to take after you?”

Seojun eyed her. “She won’t know.”

“I did.”

“Yeah but, you’re you and Jukyung’s Jukyung.”

“So?”

“So…” Seojun leaned closer, “you ranked number two in class for a reason.”

“Sujin-ah! I told you I would take care of everything.” Jukyung appeared from her bedroom.

“Don’t worry about it. Han Seojun helped.” Sujin assured.

The pair said their goodbyes to the couple and exited together. Han Seojun said nothing when he started walking his own way, while Kang Sujin turned to wave at him but was unseen. He was too lost in his own broken heart to notice anyone or anything.

She simply sighed, took it as just a Han Seojun thing and started walking in the other direction.

xi.

“I still can’t get used to this.” Suah said, waving a spoon between Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. The two sat opposite each other and were eating their food peacefully.

It was this peace that bothered Suah.

“I mean, how can you two just get along?”

“We’re adults Choi Su. We can learn how to get along.” Sujin stated.

Suho spluttered in laughter. “I thought you said that Seojun was a giant baby with no manners?”

Seojun gave Sujin a scathing look. Sujin went pink, “I never said that! You take that back!”

“It’s still strange.” Suah leaned closer. “What happened? Have you guys settled your differences?”

“Han Seojun got Sujin flowers.” Suho said cheekily.

“Yah!” Seojun protested. But it was in vain, the deed was done, and everyone oohed and aahed at this news.

“Did you really get her flowers?”

“Wait, when did this happen?”

“Does that mean that Seojun apologized first?”

“What kind of flowers?”

Seojun looked at Suho with the rage of a thousand suns. Suho just grinned back.

“Aren’t flowers romantic?”

“Ya! There was nothing romantic about it. All I got her were yellow roses and white tulips.” Seojun defended.

“OoooOoooh. Roooses. Roses are totally romantic.” Taehoon teased.

“They were yellow. Yellow roses are for friendship!”

“So, are you two friends?” Jukyung asked and everyone looked at Seojun and Sujin.

“Meh.” They both shrugged at the same time.

“Omo! Look at how in sync they are!”

“We are not.” They both said in sync.

Seojun had to admit, their group gatherings were much more comfortable now that he and Sujin had cleared the air between them. He enjoyed discovering how Sujin was less the ice princess he had thought her to be and more a regular girl. She also turned out to be much cooler than he had expected.

She had been the only one to see his discomfort when Jukyung and Suho suggested they all go on an overnight trip with them. Going to see their apartment; the very proof that Lim Jukyung and Lee Suho ate and slept—Oh God, don’t think about them sleeping—together was painful enough. Seojun didn’t need to see them canoodling for an entire weekend.

“What about it guys? Shall we go?” Jukyung looked around as everyone nodded excitedly, including Sujin.

But then her eye’s met Seojun’s. He said nothing but he didn’t need to.

“Lim Ju, it’ll be difficult for me to join. I just lost my job, remember? An overnight trip is...” Seojun knew Sujin was just making up an excuse.

“Oh, oh right. Sorry Kang Su-ya. I totally forgot. Something else then!”

The group moved on to discussing other options. Seojun sent Sujin a grateful look. She acted nonchalant, as if she had not just overturned everyone’s plans for him.

“Thanks. For what you did back in there.” He told her as they were all leaving.

“Forget about it.” She waved a hand in dismissal.

The next time the group gathered at a fancier restaurant than usual. A suggestion by Suho who had offered to pay for the food tonight.

“This place is so beautiful.” Suah commented looking around the interior.

“Are we celebrating something?” Sujin asked. “This doesn’t seem like a regular get-together.”

Sujin had only asked for the sake of asking. But something about the way Suho looked at her told Seojun that she was on to something.

“Well,” Jukyung held up her hand, “we do have something to announce.”

And announce she did. The big fat diamond resting on her ring finger had a lot to say. And suddenly everyone erupted with joy. The girls took Jukyung in their arms, squealing and crying with joy. The boys surrounded Suho, patting him on the back, congratulating him.

All except Seojun, who just sat there in a daze. Sujin happened to look over and see him, frozen in his seat. Sujin wasn’t alone in her observation. Taehoon also noticed but missed the implication.

“Look! Han Seojun is actually so shocked he—"

Sujin made it look like an accident, her bumping into the table and sending a glass down on the floor, shattering into a million pieces. The sound shook Seojun out of his daze and also distracted everyone from realizing Seojun’s inner turmoil.

“Oh shit.” Sujin said looking down.

“Hey, be careful.” Jukyung said.

“You okay?” Suho asked Jukyung, taking her arm.

“Excuse me, can we get someone to clean this up?” Taehoon asked the waiter.

The fuss over the broken glass gave Seojun enough time to recover. He then congratulated Suho with a massive hug.

“You both deserve each other. I mean it.” He told Suho and he meant it.

Maintaining a fake smile over dinner was easy. Everyone else was so chatty that Seojun’s and Sujin’s relative silence went unnoticed. Suah pestered Jukyung for details: “How did it happen?”, “When?”, “Why didn’t you call me immediately?”. Taehoon made jokes about marriage being the end of romance to which Suah started an argument with him and then it became about settling matters between the two.

Sujin didn’t remember much of what happened after that, the rest of the night was a blur. She just hoped that she had maintained enough dignity to not appear as bitter as she actually felt.

Even though they all parted very late in the night, Sujin couldn’t go directly home. She needed something to ease the pain. So naturally, she went to the nearest tent bar she could find. The place seemed to be overcrowded, with people waiting outside for others to leave. Sujin managed to sneak in and grab a table.

She downed half of a soju bottle in one go but then couldn’t muster the energy to drink further. Her side dishes went untouched. All Sujin could do was stare and wonder if there was any way to just take her heart out of her chest and throw it away. Because there seemed to be no relief from this pain she was feeling.

She banged her head on the table. “Ah wae? Why can’t I just move on?” She asked herself in frustration.

“Ugh, why the hell are you here?” That irritated tone and deep voice could only belong to one person. And indeed, when Sujin looked up she saw Han Seojun a few tables over looking at her in disdain.

“Wae? You have a claim on this place?” Sujin raised a critical brow.

“And what if I do?”

“Then give me everything for free. Since we’re friends who get along.”

“No. Friends pay double.”

“How stingy.” Sujin took another shot of soju.

The man running the tent bar came over. “Why don’t you two share a table since you know each other? I have customers waiting to be seated.”

“No way, I’m not sitting with her.” Seojun grumbled.

“Aha! I knew it! Being all nice to me was just an act.”

The owner ignored Sujin, “How can two youngsters be so rude? Get up! I’m moving you over there.”

This was how Han Seojun came to drink with Kang Sujin for the second time. They both looked at each other with scowling faces.

“What happened, Kang Sujin? You were acting all happy for the lucky couple.” Seojun taunted. He seemed a little tipsy but so was Sujin.

“Of course, I’m happy. I’m so, so happy.” She said wistfully.

Seojun scoffed. “Is that why you were whining about not being able to move on? I thought you said you didn’t like Lee Suho anymore.”

Sujin narrowed her eyes. “I don’t. And even if I allegedly did, at least I held it all in. You were clearly about to run away with Jukyung before I saved you.”

“Saved me? Puh-lease.”

“Why? Do you think that glass fell on its own?”

Seojun gave her a sideways look before taking another shot.

“You gonna eat that?” He pointed a chin to her plate.

“Nah, have it.”

They sat in silence for a moment. A comfortable silence where neither felt compelled to say anything.

Sujin shook Seojun when she suddenly smacked her glass down on the table. “I’m over Lee Suho.” She declared. “I’m over Lee Suho… but…”

“Just because you’re over him, doesn’t mean you stopped loving him.” Seojun said what she was thinking.

She looked at him, her pain evident on her face. In that moment, he let himself be vulnerable too.  

“Isn’t it funny? Out of everyone I know, you’re the only one who gets… this.” Sujin said.

Seojun chuckled. “Exactly. Who woulda thought? Kang Sujin and Han Seojun having something in common.”

“You know it’s gonna hurt even worse from now on, right? We’re the closest to those two. That means we’ll be involved in everything.”

Seojun rubbed his faced. “I can’t think about that right now. Or I really will die.”

Sujin understood what he meant. “You know what I want?”

“What?”

“I want Suho to never find out that I still like him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I can’t help that I feel this way right? You can’t stop yourself from feeling what you feel. But… I wanna keep my dignity. I wanna still be cool and… not be seen as some pathetic loser who’s still after her best friend’s boyfriend.”

Seojun took a shot, nodding.

Sujin leaned forward. “That’s why, I suggest we help each other out.”

Seojun gave her a look. “How so?”

“Well, if we see the other being too transparent, then we stop them, or at least take the attention away so that the other can collect themselves.”

“Like the broken glass today?”

“Like the broken glass today. And if it’s getting too painful, then we can just talk about it.”

Seojun laughed. “Kang Sujin, offering therapy. That’s rich.”

“Not therapy. Friendship. It helps if you talk about stuff like this.” Sujin insisted.

Seojun gave her a considering look. “What’s in it for me? These seem like things you want to do.”

“You’ll be able to attend Jukyung’s wedding without feeling like you’re dying on the inside.”

“There’s no guarantee that will happen.”

“You’re right, there isn’t. But at least that’s what it’ll look like. Think about it Han Seojun. Do you want Jukyung to always see you as the friend who is in love with her? Or do you want her to see you as a cool friend who she can comfortably rely on, without wondering if she’s hurting his feelings.”

Seojun thought about it. It felt like a bad idea. But there was a part of Han Seojun that was tired of his own attachment to Lim Jukyung. If it meant that it would help him move on, then he was willing to try anything

“Alright, Kang Sujin.” He raised his glass. Sujin clinked hers with his. “Let’s try this.”

I am bad at making memes but I do it any way

[azucanela]

DIVINE INTERVENTION [PT.2] OIKAWA TOORU

DIVINE INTERVENTION MASTERLIST | HAIKYUU!! MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: Maybe getting into a fight with one of Oikawa’s fangirls hadn’t been the best idea. 

WORD COUNT: 2.5k

WARNINGS: violence, injuries, bruises,

A/N: do people actually plan their series ahead of time, because i kinda just write whenever my brain has an idea

Meeting Y/N L/N had been... weird for Oikawa, to put it simply.

As conceded as it may sound, Oikawa knew that he was well-liked, he knew that there were people lining up to go out with him— especially since he got confessed to nearly daily— but it wasn’t just that. Teachers had placed Oikawa on a pedestal for balancing athletics and good grades, along with simply being a ‘joy to have in class’ because he was respectful and offered his help often. Other students adored him because he was actually a rather kind person when he wanted to be; and he was well known in his school. 

He’d been singled out for as long as he could remember, that now both Oikawa and his own classmates felt as though they were simply on two different worlds.

Which is why Y/N L/N had been weird. Most of the time his natural charisma charmed almost everyone he’d met, his skill in volleyball and academic prowess were something that had also earned him respect in the school. And yet Y/N L/N simply extended her hand to him like he didn’t matter, offering her name only momentarily before retuning her attention to Iwaizumi. She’d simply treated him like just another person; and it had been a while since Oikawa felt normal.

So he began to pester her, whenever she was around—most of the time with Iwaizumi— he’d started talking to her more in their shared classes, even inviting her to his volleyball classes. 

Talking to Y/N had been like a breath of fresh air, as stupid as it sounded. He would never admit this to her, of course. Though he was fairly close to when their last year of middle school had come upon them and they were all deciding on which school they’d be attending.

Thankfully, the entire trio ended up going to Aoba Johsai. Even now, Oikawa didn’t know what he would’ve done had Iwaizumi and Y/N attended different school, though he’s happy he doesn’t know. Blissful ignorance.

Despite their years of friendship, Oikawa had never actually been annoyed by Y/N, he enjoyed her presence if he was honest. She was good company. She’d always put up with his ‘nonsense’ as Iwaizumi put it, and she’d supported him throughout his life— though she’d also threatened him for taking things to far and endangering his well-being, Oikawa had a feeling that was something he was supposed to appreciated. Yet, Oikawa had a feeling that today would be the day Y/N truly annoyed him. 

Rumors spread fast in Aoba Johsai, especially when they were about Oikawa and his love life, it had always been an issue. He hadn’t been in many relationships, much less committed ones. People tended to talk, his fans tended to act out, and after about two weeks any relationships he had were over. Which is why Oikawa was shocked to discover that he was in a relationship with his best friend, and had been for a while. And his apparent girlfriend had gotten into a fight with another girl earlier today in class. 

If Y/N was honest, she just hoped that Oikawa went with the little story she’d made up— otherwise she’d seem like an idiot who was just as obsessed with him as the girl she now sat beside in the principal’s office. And honestly, there was no real explanation for why she’d lie, not without her seeming crazy. 

Was fighting her the best idea? No, not at all. Did the girl deserve every hit? Definitely. Was Iwaizumi struggling to pull Y/N off of her? Possibly, we don’t discuss that. Now you might be wondering, why would the lovely, kind, amazing and beautiful Y/N L/N ever get into a fight? 

Well the girl started talking and wouldn’t stop. Speaking like Oikawa was an object, a trophy to be won, a game like the one he played. She spoke like she knew Oikawa personally, as though he owed her a relationship, a chance. But if Y/N was honest it was the threats that set her off.

She wasn’t sure if Iwaizumi was more shocked by the girl’s words or Y/N’s fist ramming against her face after this girl tried to smack her. 

“Oikawa doesn’t find out about this.”

That was all Y/N said when he finally pulled her off the girl, just for her to get escorted by the school’s security guards, down to the office. Though Iwaizumi wasn’t necessarily sure was she was referring to seeing as the fight had been the talk of the school now, and Oikawa was headed Iwaizumi’s way. He’d been seated outside of the office for some time now, awaiting Y/N’s inevitable return, suspension, or expulsion. 

This was going to be bad. In all their time as friends, Iwaizumi had never expected something like this to happen. If we was honest, he wasn’t even sure if the pair was or was not dating. Perhaps they’d been hiding the relationship from him or maybe this was something Y/N had simply made up on the spot, he wasn’t sure. What he did know, was that things had never been so... messy between Y/N and Oikawa. 

Now, Y/N wasn’t considering the impacts her little plan would have on the friend group at the moent, just that she didn’t play the death threat card often but now seemed as good a time as any to allow a false tear to fall down her cheek, “and then—” A sniff, “and then she threatened me and I got so scared, Principal! She said she was going to kill me.” Getting expelled was the last thing she wanted, but if this didn’t work— well, she was running out of ideas.

Now, Y/N wasn’t the best actor, but she was friends with Oikawa, and she’d definitely picked up a few things from him. Like the fact that their principal was a lot more sympathetic towards members of their sports team; and Y/N happened to manage one of the teams. And she was fairly sure that their most noteworthy players would’ve drained themselves entirely had it not been for her, so she considered herself... kind of valuable. Especially with Oikawa’s knee injury that he insisted on disregarding, Y/N had a feeling things would’ve been far worse for the boy had she not gotten involved.

Speaking of Oikawa, even as Iwaizumi warned him not to enter, the boy simply pushed the door open, a fake smile making its way onto his face as he spoke, “Principal!” He exclaimed, arms spread open, his smile only faltering as he notices the fading red mark on Y/N’s cheek, accompanied by a few bruises on her arms and several bruises on the other girl. Oikawa quickly recovers from the shock, returning his attention to the man before him, “how are you?”

The Principal offers Oikawa a tight lipped smile as he replies, “a little busy in case you haven’t noticed.” A deep breath from the man in question, “you should see yourself out—”

“You see, Principal. I just came her to collect my lovely girlfriend, I heard about this little mix-up and got worried, you know?” His eyes meet Y/N momentarily, and the look on his face tells her that she’s going to regret this once he manages to get them out of this situation— hopefully with her clean school record being maintained. “Things can get so blown out of proportion by school gossips, right?”

The Principal doesn’t seem to buy his words as he gestures to the other girl seated across from Y/N, who’s holding a tissue to her bleeding nose as she stares up at Oikawa in shock. “This young girl was very injured and—”

“She’s just fine? Isn’t that right, sweetheart?” Oikawa looks to the girl, placing a hand gently onto her shoulder as he offers a sympathetic look, and she practically swoons at the pet name he sues, eyes zeroing in on the hand placed on her shoulder. The girl is clearly in awe at the fact that the very boy she’d intended to confess to all those hours ago was now here and touching her shoulder. 

Y/N nearly rolls her eyes as the girls mumbles out, “oh my god you’re– yeah I’m fine! I really shouldn’t have disrespected Tooru’s—”

“Oikawa.” Y/N corrects quietly, first names were reserved for people close to you, and this girl just had a crush formed from basic manners and good looks, though the girl pays no mind as she continues. Y/N can’t help but feel irritated by the fact that even though she’d literally been attempting to choke Y/N earlier, she was now acting as though Oikawa was her best friend. 

“—girlfriend! I didn’t know you two were actually together, I’m so sorry but—”

Y/N can’t help but feel odd hearing those words come out of someone else’s mouth. Girlfriend. The word feels wrong in a way, and leaves her with an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach. She’d never considered being Oikawa’s girlfriend, not really, she’d heard other people’s speculations but she’d never actually considered why they might think that. 

Oikawa has already moved on from this girl, turning back to the Principal as he spreads his hands wide, “see! No harm done, now I need to be getting to Volleyball practice along with our lovely manager here, if you don’t mind that is?” Y/N nearly laughed at the fact that he was pulling the, ‘I’m literally your star athlete so you better do as I say,’ card. Though she only watched as the Principal brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose with a sigh, waving them off.

“Just don’t do it again.” He grumbled out, not sparing them another glance as he grumbled something out about young love and ‘Oikawa’s stupid fans.’

Y/N practically shot up from her seat, bowing to the man in thanks, “of course sir! Thank you, and have a nice day!” Oikawa’s hand has already come to the small of her back as he guides her out of the classroom, passing Iwaizumi who simply sighs as he watches them.

“Try to be on time to practice, idiot.”

Oikawa waves back to his friend, “of course, Iwa-chan! Anything for you!”

Iwaizumi probably would’ve started cursing had he not been standing just outside the Principal’s office, opting to glare daggers into the back of the boy’s head instead. Watching as he and Y/N made their way through the halls wordlessly. 

Y/N knows Iwaizumi’s eyes are focused on Oikawa but she has a feeling that the rest of the people in the hallway are more focused on her; seeing as she was today’s scandal. For several reasons. There was the being Oikawa’s secret girlfriend— though they weren’t actually dating, and Y/N had a feeling the gossips at her school would have a field day if they found out about thaT— and the fight with that girl and the— well, we don’t discuss that last bit. 

She doesn’t have a plan, Y/N was now wishing she’d just accepted the possibility of suspension because then she could’ve put off this conversation with Oikawa, the conversation where she’d have to explain what exactly happened. And at the moment, she didn’t have an explanation to offer him. What she’d done had been impulsive, yes, she could admit that. But stupid? Well, the girl did apologize, so maybe not.

“So... how’s your day been?” 

A sarcastic laugh escapes him as he pushes open the door of an empty classroom, eyes scanning the room once more before he’s shutting the door and bringing his hands to his head. “Care to explain?”

Y/N offers him a sheepish smile as she takes a seat on top of a desk, shrugging, “shouldn’t we get to practice like you said?” Avoiding confrontation happened to be a specialty of Y/N’s, and more often than not, Oikawa respected this. But it seems today was not one of those days. 

“Shouldn’t you have stayed out of it like you said?” Came his response, eyes narrowed at her as his eyes trailed over her figure. “What happened, Y/N?” His thoughts go to the conversation they’d had not too long ago, he’d explicitly been against this idea, for a variety of reasons.

Oikawa’s racked through his mind for reasons why she would do this even after he’d explicitly asked her not to, even more so why she’d get into a fight over him. A small thought in the back of his mind nearly made its way back to him, one he’d been struggling to bury for years as he searched for an explanation. 

Y/N doesn’t really have an explanation either, maybe it was because she had been tired of these people pretending they knew Oikawa, because of the conversation they’d had in the gym. Seeing him upset over it might have triggered something inside of her, and made her decide— why not take things into her own hands? He didn’t deserve any of it, they could be so overbearing, acting as though he belonged to them. 

Maybe it was spite, pure spite. Anger over all the ways these stupid confessions and fans had affected her. Maybe she’d wanted it all to stop and thought that this was the best way how. Maybe there was no real reason beyond that. She finds herself wishing she could offer him an answer, though nothing comes out of her mouth.

When Y/N doesn’t reply, Oikawa simply sighs, bringing a hand to the bridge of his nose before turning to Y/N, his eyes trailed along the dulling red on the edge of her cheek and the bruises evident on her arms. Frowning, Oikawa brought a hand to her arm, “well at least you won the fight.” He didn’t know much about what happened, just what he’d heard in passing and when one of his teammates had approached him to congratulate him for ‘finally getting in to a relationship with Y/N.’

A small laugh escapes Y/N as she nods along to his words. “Yeah,” she mumbles in agreement, lips pressing together to form a tight lipped smile as she struggled to find words, “so... what do we do now?”

That would be the question of the hour.

[tags] lmk if you want to be added via askbox

haikyuu!!: @shawkneecaps @therainroguefanfiction​  @iwaizoom @aquabcrry-y 

[lizacstuff]

Hello, Liza! I hope you are doing well. Passing by because I (and everyone else I think) would like to know your thoughts about episode 25. I watch this show trying my best to avoid spoilers but today somehow I ended up seeing everything. Twitter was and still is mad about the episode and I thought I was going to have the same reaction as them. Surprise, surprise, I didn't which left me speechless. I feel like you might have the same reaction as me so I would love to know your thoughts! xo

Hello! I have a lot of asks and rather than flooding my dash, I think I’ll put them all in one place, so this is going to get very long.  I have mixed feelings. I didn’t hate it, but it was a hard episode to watch.

I wish I had seen the reaction before I watched, then I would have adjusted my expectations. The whole time I was waiting for a twist at the end that didn’t come. Partly because of my own speculation, but partly because I’d watch the live with Hande and Kerem and from the translations, Kerem said there was a shock at the end and called the ending beautiful. Never trust Kerem! LMAO. Not because he would ever intentionally mislead, but boyfriend never remembers anything that happens in any episode. Though he was right about the shock, just not about it being beautiful. (Prince be crazy!) Anyway I kept hoping for the twist of them working together and fooling everyone and it didn’t come. 

So I was disappointed at the end, but with adjusted expectations the episode, taken for what it is, is actually decent and I can definitely get onboard with Eda sacrificing everything to save him. That’s very romantic and they did a great job of setting up how devastated she was and how serious the threat is from Babaanne. Eda did not crumble in the face of a couple of idle threats. No, every moment that Eda waited to break up with him, Babaanne introduced some very real and catastrophic consequence to Serkan or his family. Shit got real and Eda was pushed into a no-win corner and needed to act fast. I’ll talk about that more, but first, I’ll mention a couple of thoughts about the writing and the new writers:

(more under the cut)

Good

Structure - The structure of the episode was a lot better than last week.  Scenes actually made sense one after the other, the emotions of the characters were consistent and it all flowed. 

Plot - I’m not necessarily praising what happened in the episode, more that there was one. And it’s one that will not be forgotten in the next episode and it feels like this plot could sustain a number of episodes which his necessary if the show is to continue.

Characterizations  - The characters felt true to what we’ve watched the last 20+ episodes. As I said above, work went into showing us both Eda and Serkan’s mindset and how that led to the ultimate outcome. It’s impressive that they put together one of the most heartbreaking breakup scenes I’ve seen, and the characters weren’t actually even together. 

Not-so-good

Proposal dream - I’m not a big fan of fooling the audience like this, and I’m really not a big fan of putting it in a teaser or promo. That is a bait and switch, and I think it’s a cheap trick for the production company to have featured it in the fragman. Badly done.  In next week’s fragman we see Serkan “punching” the Prince, I fear that is not real, possibly Serkan’s fantasy, and I’m really hoping that “fake scenes” are not going to be the go-to for these new writers. We’ve already spent 50+ hours with Eda and Serkan, we don’t need to see imaginary things, we need real scenes. No fake outs at this juncture. 

Humor and ‘sparkle’ - I think this is what’s going to be missing from the new writer’s scripts. They tried really hard with the game night at the newlywed’s house and Chef Alexander love triangle, (Team Aydan all the way, Ayfer can fuck off. If she doesn’t care about her niece’s happiness, then she shouldn’t get any herself) but it just didn’t get there comedy wise. Ayse really had a way of pulling together very funny scenarios and making everything sparkle, and I’ll miss that. 

Lack of Edser - This is their show, they are the ONLY reason most people watch. You can’t build a plot that separates them. When Serkan broke up with Eda they were able to build a scenario where they were still thrown together all of the time, and kept finding excuses to be with the other. Their screen time didn’t suffer that much. I’m not sure this scenario will allow the same with him being at risk if Babaanne spots them together.  However, for this episode I’m willing to give the benefit of the doubt as @jan31​ brought up to me, Kerem and Hande were very busy last week with rehearsals and then shooting The Voice, so that might have contributed to why there was so much focus on the other characters this ep, they needed to release the leads for other commitments. 

hawaiigirl84 said: So I'm on a SCK Facebook group looking at a lot of irate fans. If you haven't seen the episode yet, I think you're going to have to gird your loins for this one.

@hawaiigirl84 Haha. I wish I’d seen this ask so I could have adjusted expectations. I went on twitter last night and then backed away slowly. Lots of dramatic rending of garments and gnashing of teeth.  You know the fan reaction is bad when both the producer Asena and Nesliyan (Aydan) tweeted out reassurances about the journey to love and then this morning the production company twitter account released video of Eda kissing Serkan in the jail. Trying to feed the fans who were out for blood, I’d guess. 

Anonymous said: Okay so the latest episode of SCK had to be the show creating a very low point for Eda & Serkan in order to build them back up, right? My thought after the episode ended was that things honestly could not get worse. That episode was just disappointing. While I get why Eda did what she did I still absolutely hated it and was pissed the writers could not come up with something better. And how heartbreaking was it to realize the proposal scene was a dream 😭. And now they released a clip showing Eda did kiss Serkan in the jail cell but they decided to cut it out? I get that the show has to create drama but the promotion of the episode as being super romantic was certainly a gut punch. The fragman has me hopefully that Eda & Serkan might finally work together to bring down Grandma or at least Eda will let him in on her plan. I will say even though that episode hurt the actors were absolutely killing it.

Are we the same person?? I think I went through all of these thoughts/emotions since watching, lmao.  

And 100% they are taking Eda and Serkan to their low point before building them back up. Also, think about it, after this they will both have a much better understanding of one another. Eda will understand how he could have made the decision to breakup rather than confide in her, and Serkan will understand why doing what he did hurt her so much and why it wasn’t easy for her to get over it. They’ll both have experienced the situation from all sides.  Ultimately, this will make them stronger.

Honestly, Eda has a LOT better reason to do what she’s doing than Serkan did. As I said above, Evil!Granny is not playing. She is deadly serious and seems to be capable of anything. In the course of 48 hours she had manufactured charges against Serkan that were serious and landed him in jail, she caused him to lose the tender they’d won which would have huge ripple affects for the business, and she was able to set up Alptekin and get him thrown in jail. At this point I could see her ordering a hit! Eda needed to call her off and get her to stop or who the heck knows would have happened to Serkan, Aydan and the business in the next 24 hours. Eda needed to move fast and she needed to be convincing. 

Right now I think Eda is just buying time, so Serkan is safe while she tries to fight her grandmother.  No way she’s rolling over. Not Eda. I’m still very hopeful that Serkan will figure out what she’s up to sooner rather than later and they will start to work together. 

Also, YES, to the performances. The actors were stellar. Hande and Kerem both brought it. I physically felt their pain.

Anonymous said: I'm completely convinced that the writers' room for this last episode wrote it without any knowledge of ep 24 except for the fact that it ended with Serkan getting arrested on NYE. Like I still wouldn't like it, but if we had gone from ep 23 to ep 25, it would make more sense. But not after ep 24. Did Ayse just say "fuck it" while writing that episode and gave the fans everything she could knowing full well what the other writers' plans were? Talk about some severe whiplash.

I don’t know what the background is on the writer change, but I don’t think this is fair.  I got whiplash from the fragman (proposal) to the episode, but not from ep 24 to this one. When watching ep 24 didn’t you think it was just a matter of time before the other shoe dropped? I thought that it was obvious that a dark cloud was gathering, just as Eda was willing to start fresh with him. Babaanne directly threatened Serkan several times to Eda. She told Eda she would destroy Serkan if she found they were together.  Episode 24 was Eda being defiant and letting herself be with Serkan and this episode was the consequences of that.  

There are things to criticize, but I completely disagree with you that this is one.

Anonymous said: I think Eda didn't say ily at that time because she must have already thought about maybe accepting what her grandmother had asked for. It would have been weird if she told him I love you and then broke up with him right afterwards. It wasn't the right time, I think the writers are saving it for a big confession like in episode 11. At least for now we could hear her say it in her dream.

Agreed on the timing, and you’re right about the dream. While I am annoyed they put it in the trailer, in the narrative it did serve to tell us exactly where Eda’s head is at in regards to their relationship.  She loves Serkan, she wants to marry Serkan.  So we know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that none of her actions are because of any lingering “confusion,” right now she is acting out of pure love for him. That’s beautiful. (maybe that’s what Kerem meant by the ending being beautiful, lmao) 

Anonymous said: Eda really breaking him by called what they had a mistake and threwing him the parents death in his face like it was his fault, he doesn’t deserve all this. At least im happy serkan walked away first! although he loves her with all his being, he's fed up with Eda behaviour... if she really wants him, she has to fight for him.

Oh boy. 

You understand that Eda didn’t mean anything she said, right?  That the only way for her to convince Serkan she was serious was to bring out the big guns, and that she only did it to save him?

Yes, that was hard to watch. My heart absolutely breaks for Serkan. Actually, it breaks for both of them.  But it’s supposed to, they are in love, and Babaanne is tearing them apart. Did you watch Eda all episode? She was devastated the entire time. That’s one of the reasons this ep was hard to watch. It’s hard to see a beloved character be at that low of a point for 2 straight hours.  

This storyline will be easier for you to watch if you reframe this from applauding Serkan for being “fed up” at Eda, to Eda loving him so much that she is going to do whatever is necessary to save him.  She sacrificed and now she’s going to risk it all fighting Babaanne, and all of it is for LOVE. 

Anonymous said: The ending is so ridiculous, and let's not even talk about the fragman of the next episode I really don't know if I want to continue watching

Okay, you’ve just hit my pet peeve. DO NOT come into my inbox with flounce threats. I don’t care if you watch or not. If you’re done, fine, move on, no need to announce it on anon or add it to any of my posts. Because why even talk about something you’re not going to watch? If you’re not serious, but just saying that cause you’re throwing a temper tantrum and think that you can bring about change that way or think you’re making a point by threatening to withhold your support, I’m not going to validate you. You’re being manipulative and all you’re doing is trying to make other people feel bad.  Anyone else who does this will be blocked.  

Anonymous said:  The new writers are really destroying the series. Eda blamed serkan for not telling her the truth and now she did exactly the same. They're ruining eda's character by doing that. Eda wouldn’t have ever, nor left herself be defeated like this by babaanne, nor used the words she did with Serkan, it was beyond mean, and unnecessary for this plot, im so upset

Dude, pull yourself together. It’s not that bad. The new writers are definitely evolving the series, if feels like it’s going to be more plot driven, than situational, but I think that had to happen if they were going to continue making episodes. Maybe you believe they should just end it, and that’s a fine opinion to have, but if it’s to continue, and I personally want it to, there needs to be a plot, there needs to be a big obstacle and this is what these writers’ have chosen.   

Out of all the thing they could have done, it’s actually a good direction to go. Once again, they’ve chosen to separate them, not because one betrayed the other. Not because of some third-party love interest. Not because one is uncertain about their feelings. Not because one of them made a bad choice that hurt the other. They’re separated because of something that happened when they were children, something completely out of their control.  And Eda made the decision she did, because she loves him more than anything. 

For drama in a romantic story its about as good as you can hope for. Because despite your knee-jerk, overly emotional take, the reality is there is nothing here that taints either character or their love for one another. 

They are NOT ruining Eda’s character.  Eda was pushed into a corner and she made a hasty decision to save the man she loves. Babaanne was watching her constantly, she was having her followed. Eda did what was necessary to get Serkan out of jail and then to stop Babaanne’s relentless, and successful, attacks against him.  She said what she said, because that’s the only thing that would have convinced him she was for real. Anything else he wouldn’t have believed, and if he didn’t believe it then Babaanne wouldn’t have stopped. Also, Eda hasn’t let herself be defeated. She did what she needed to do, so she can keep Serkan safe while she fights. This is just one battle, Babaanne won’t win the war. 

They’ll get to the point when they’re fighting her together, but we’re getting this part first. The part that will give both of them greater insight into the other, and the perspective they both need to truly understand how each felt during the first break up. And it will give us angst and longing and pining and jealousy and all sorts of things. 

Also, curious, why is it okay for Serkan to break her heart because he was afraid of her reaction to the truth of the past, but it’s not okay for Eda to break his heart to save him from huge and real threats to his safety, livelihood, freedom and family?

Anonymous said: I am so sad for serkan he doesn't deserve this. Eda ended up abandoning him like everyone else who comes into his life. The worst thing about it is that he knew it was going to happen and he was afraid it would happen and it did happen 😭

It’s definitely gut-wrenching. Serkan doesn’t deserve this, but neither did Eda. And Eda didn’t abandon him because she wanted to, she did it because very bad things were happening and she had to act quickly.

However, think about what you just said: he knew it was going to happen. It’s also not like the consequences of going against Babaanne are unknown to him.  He knows he was thrown in jail, he knows his dad is in jail, he knows there were serious threats to his business. So what that means is that it won’t take Serkan long to figure out that Babaanne is behind everything and Eda is 100% acting out of love for him.  

He will just need to shake off the sting of her words, and the haze of heartbreak and he’ll see that she did it for him. 

[bnhavibes]

Dark Paradise

Chapter 3: Disquiet

Ao3

Mafia AU! 

“I want,” Shigaraki leaned in, all fingers but one curling around Kai’s bicep, “the girl.” His minatory gaze was trained on Kai’s, daring him to step out of line. Kai took a shaky inhale, eyes flicking over to the young woman on the couch. 

“Will you do that for me, Kai?” Shigaraki’s four fingers gripped tighter around Kai’s tense arm; a stern reminder that he didn’t have a choice. “If you don’t, I trust it’s not necessary to say what will happen to you.”

Art from this post, FOLLOW THEM THEIR ART IS AMAZING!!

Word Count: ~4k

Your sparkly princess shoe kicked the rock playfully and watched as it rolled along the sidewalk, giggling to yourself all the while. Dainty fingers trailed along the bottom of well-trimmed hedges. Through the green, you saw the off-white bleached brick of your house come into view and skipped the rest of the way there. You couldn’t wait to show the picture you had drawn at school today.

You kicked the welcome mat up to find the key to the towering red front door and you quickly replaced it before eagerly shuffling inside, ready for the delicious smell of homemade chocolate chip cookies to grace your nose. It was Wednesday, and every week your mom made cookies to celebrate a week half over. They were always ready for when you got home from school. Your older sister would help make them because her middle school got out earlier.

But it didn’t smell like cookies. You felt the bright hopefulness that adorned your face earlier sink, a pouty frown replacing it. Clumsily, you kicked off your shoes and socks, padding over to the couch to toss your backpack down. 

“Mommy? Skye?” There was no answer. Maybe they were playing in the backyard? Yeah, they were probably playing and going to make cookies later. Your mom always kept saying that one of these days you were going to have to start helping them bake. With great effort, you pulled the sliding door open to the expansive backyard, and your head tilted as you tried to process what was in front of you.

“Mommy?” She was lying prone on the ground, her neck was turned towards the door so you could see her face. It was blank, vacant. Her jaw was slack, and her arms were twisted strangely at her sides. You had dropped to your knees on the soft grass at the sight, so you crawled over to your mom and shook her arm. You were sad to feel she wasn’t as warm as usual; her embrace was the most comforting thing in the world. You kept calling out to her and telling her this game wasn’t funny. Why would she play a game like this? You wondered. You took in the sight of her. Maybe she is sleeping? Your small arms wrapped around her shoulders to pull her up. Her neck made a dull thunk! as her head hung in the air and lolled around. You shook her again, horrified at how her head rolled lifelessly. 

“Mommy? Mommy!”

Water clogged up your vision so that when you looked around the yard, you could just barely make out your sister several meters away. She lay there, limbs askew and back bent unnaturally. 

“Mommy, whats wrong with Skye?” You couldn’t take your eyes off the way your sister’s body lay uncomfortably. A deep cracking noise turned your attention back to your mother. Your eyes widened impossibly as you listened to the horrifying snaps and crunching of bone as your mom’s neck wrenched back around to face you. You couldn’t stare at anything except her completely vacant eyes.

“You weren’t here. We died alone.” Her arms started twisting in ways they shouldn’t, shattering the bones as she crawled towards you, dragging her bottom half behind her. Her strained gasps rang out in the yard. You stumbled backwards and a broken scream erupted from your throat.

~~

Your eyes shot open. There was a loud noise in your somber bedroom, and you realized with horror that it was your own forceful breathing and heart pounding dangerously fast against its confines. Your throat felt raw and dry. You must have been actually screaming. Bringing one trembling hand to your face as tears dropped from your eyes, you tried to control your breathing. Panic enveloped your entire being, those ever-present tons of rocks making their home on your ribcage, crushing your chest. Is this what Giles Corey felt like? You couldn’t get a full breath in no matter how hungrily, greedily you sucked in air. 

You sat up and pushed your back firmly against the headboard. Shoving your hand over your mouth again, you covered your nostrils to stop your hyperventilation. Dry lips and fingers went numb, pinprick pains raining under your skin, and your body felt heavy. Unable to do anything else, you stared emptily at the blank walls of your room. You had lived here for four years, and still hadn’t ever bothered to make it look like a home. The excuse you always used was that you didn’t value material possessions. Honestly, it was because decorating was commitment, and it would make this broken down place a more permanent thing in your life, which you didn’t want to think about.

By now you knew how to deal with the panic attacks that your recurring nightmare brought about. It had happened when you were in fifth grade. Your childhood house’s neighbour was a reckless young hero. He had been trying to show off his wind-based quirk for a news camera, not thinking of the consequences of using it in a residential area, and accidentally sent a strong gust of wind whipping towards your mother and sister. 

It snapped your mother’s neck, and the autopsy showed that your sister had died from a subarachnoid hemorrhage from the trauma of the hit. Even after so many years it still occasionally came back to haunt you in your dreams, but with a new horrifying twist each time. This one was especially bad. Sero had suggested therapy many times, but therapy wasn’t meant for people like you. What wisdom could a complete stranger give you? If you opened up to a therapist about your past you would have to leave it all out in the open, including your killing people. You supposed you could omit that part, but what good would that do? The thought of baring yourself completely to anyone, much less a random person, terrified you. Talking about emotions had never been your strong suit.

You leaned over and grabbed your phone to see the time. Squinting your eyes violently as your face was bathed in wretched artificial light, you barely made out the numbers. 4:27am. You sighed and lay back. Thoughts of the League of Villains filled your head. Could they really change the world so things like that wouldn’t happen? 

After you absently tossed and turned for a while, you drifted back to sleep, chest feeling so sorrowfully hollow.

~~

You woke to the sound of your alarm. You had 15 minutes to get ready before Sero came to pick you up. Sliding out of bed, you put on a sufficiently decent outfit for walking. The exercise pants accentuated your thighs and calves nicely. You glanced disapprovingly at the bags under your eyes that were considerably darker this morning. Skin blanched, you looked sickly, and it seemed like you could do with a few hundred years more sleep. You could already see Sero’s face contorting in that way it does when he’s worried about you. Though you detested the idea of a person who cared about you seeing you like this, you needed to talk things through to process. Also, it was just so crazy that you could still barely wrap your head around it. You could work for the League of Villains!

When Sero’s inked knuckles rapped on your front door, you opened it and took your time drinking in his appearance. Admiring the way his fitted white T-shirt stretched across the subtle muscles of his chest. His tattoos peeked out the top of his shirt, traveling up his neck and cascading down both arms. His dark ripped jeans complimented his shirt perfectly. His black plugs were paired with two silver cartilage piercings on his left ear, and a barbell in his right eyebrow. His short black hair was a bit longer than usual. Finally, your eyes landed on his left shoulder where a...sloth was clinging to him. You felt a rush of affection for Sero, and you pulled him into a long hug, carefully avoiding the sloth. You could already feel yourself healing. 

“So the sloth is… different. Any other new tattoos I should know about?” Your voice was muffled against his chest. He pulled back before responding.

“Nah, but here! I didn’t forget.” You watched as the tattoo on his left forearm of a cat with shiny stygian fur stretched and yawned before it hopped off his arm and became a real cat.

“Hey Biscuit! Good to see you buddy.” You definitely needed some kitty therapy. You cooed at the small cat and bent over to scoop him up into your arms. After a few scratches behind the ears, he started purring and nuzzled into your neck. 

Your mother and father had had cats when you were little, but they were long gone and you hadn’t been able to afford a pet while living in this house. Of course, you could have afforded cats if you agreed to take more money from the Deku gang or the Shie Hassaikai, like they kept pressuring you to do. You speculated this is why Sero had gotten the tattoo in the first place, but he had never admitted that to you. Certainly he wanted companionship like anyone else, but Sero was more of a dog person, considering he was pretty much the human version of a puppy. 

With one last check to ensure the back porch light was off, the two of you went off on your way to the restaurant where you were planning to stuff your face with hopefully a somewhat nutritious meal. Better than the crap you’ve been daring to call nourishment.

Locking the door behind you, the two of you stepped out into the breezy summer air. If you closed your eyes you could imagine yourself on a beach. Anywhere but here.

Before you got into all of your problems you couldn’t get off your mind, you asked Sero how his work was going. He owned his own small tattoo parlor in the next part of town that was significantly less ramshackle than your zip code. It was no rich people haven by any means, but still nicer. 

“Work is...good! Hey, when are you going to come to my shop and get a tattoo? I’ll make sure to give you the best-person-in-the-world discount!” His silly lopsided grin made giggles erupt from your throat, no matter how you tried to hold them in. The breakfast place he suggested was suspiciously close to said tattoo shop, and you had laughed when he first sent you the address. Always a businessman first.

“Sorry ink-man, no tattoos for me today.”

“Alright, alright, fine. It has been busier than usual, I think sending my card to those gangs like you suggested really paid off! They’re a little terrifying, but hey, they pay me. Oh and you wouldn’t believe what happened the other day.” He launched into a story about how a client had come into his shop for a consultation on a tattoo, whipped out a picture of her boyfriend completely naked and demanded he tattoo the entire thing across her back. 

“What? No way.” You let your head fall back as you laughed at the ridiculousness of some people. It was nice to hear about something screwed up, but not heavy. A story that made you laugh and forget about the betrayal you felt.

“Well, anyway, and most importantly, how are you?” He smiled at you expectantly. Your heart sank a bit as you were again forced back into your thoughts.

“Uh, pretty good I guess.” He raised his eyebrows in disbelief so you continued. “Okay not really. I’ve gotten a surge of trauma patients recently and I lost one last night.” Though it was never easy, Sero knew losing a patient was nothing new for you, so that couldn’t be why you had called. He nodded sympathetically and put a hand on your shoulder. 

After a moment he offered you a bright smile, “at least you’ve got me!” 

You smiled back, “yeah, I do.” 

The sunlight beamed in through the tree branches and leaves above you, casting spots of golden light onto Sero’s form. The wind whipped through your hair and you enjoyed the smell of summer coming in as you heard the birds chirping blithely around you. As if to keep you from truly enjoying any distraction, the image of your mother’s head twisting around flooded into your head and made you flinch, and you wrenched your eyes shut as if to lessen the impact. But there was no running away from the image plastered on the back of your eyelids.

“I had the nightmare again.” You couldn’t bring yourself to meet Sero’s eyes as you said it, electing to stare at the dirt-caked sidewalk instead. 

“Oh. I’m sorry. It was a bad one this time, huh?” A tattooed arm wrapped around your shoulders, and you snuggled closer, tugging your arm around his back, curling your fingers into his side. He let that fact hang in the air for a bit, leaving room for you to share more if you wanted. You both walked in comfortable silence for a bit, and you breathed in his scent. Soaking up his warmth and support, you tried not to cry as you felt your throat closing up. 

After a moment, Sero startled you by yelling and pointing his finger. He had felt the need to point out two birds in a tree “going at it” and you broke into a relieved laugh. 

From that point on, you chatted idly about everything and nothing while on your way to the restaurant. His laugh was the funniest part of any dumb joke he told. Though, you thought he was funny without even trying. 

~~

The steaming food was set down in front of you, and Sero decided it was time to forgo the small talk.

“So. What’s really going on? I know you love seeing me, of course, but I can tell when something else is on your mind.” His playful grin reminded you that no matter what you said he wouldn’t judge you. So you decided to cut right to the issue, as he bent to take a sip of his iced caramel coffee.

“The League of Villains wants me to be their on-call nurse.” Sero started choking on his drink, and his sloth placed a few gentle pats on his back. He was still able to breathe, so you continued.

“I have to live with them, but they’ll pay me for my time. And I don’t have to pay rent.” You paused for a bit, and your tone must have lacked finality because Sero stayed silent, sensing there was more you wanted to say. But he was also still in the middle of his coughing fit.

“They have made a big difference in the world, for the better, and it would be nice to be part of something bigger. I won’t go on missions with them or anything so my safety shouldn’t be compromised.” You sighed, staring pensively at your food and absently picking at it with your fork. There was another detail that was still bothering you.

“They somehow know about my mom and sister. They’ve done their research and think I would fit in well there.” You warmed at the thought of finally fitting in somewhere. It had been so hard to be somewhat morally grey as a nurse and always walk that line of never fully agreeing with the heroes or villains. Sero had recovered from inhaling his coffee, so he finally spoke.

“What, that’s crazy! Honestly, if it gets you out of that crappy neighborhood, I’ll be glad. I know you’re not happy there, and it sounds like you want to join them. So what’s stopping you?” You were thoughtful for a moment.

“I don’t know. It’s sort of a big change. I just need time to think it over. It seems like the perfect way to safely get out of those deals with the gangs. I wanted to talk it out with you first. You’re my go-to for advice,” you chuckled. He gave you a wide grin.

“Of course I am! I give only the best advice for the best of people. Look, it sounds like this could be really good for you. I mean, we both know your clinic was a lot more stressful than you expected and there’s no opportunities there. I want to see you happy. And maybe you’ll meet a hot villain guy to fu-“

“Ugh, Sero you always have to go there don’t you?” Dabi’s face played in your mind, and you felt the blush creeping up your neck, flicking your eyes to the sidewalk at the base of the outdoor table.

“There’s already a hot villain guy, isn’t there? Isn’t there?!” You blushed more and choked out an embarrassed laugh. Sero’s Cheshire grin went ear-to-ear as he continued.

“Oh there definitely is,” he waggled his eyebrows, “tell me about him. I was wondering how you heard from the League.” You sighed in defeat. 

“There was this guy, Dabi, that came to my house and told me they’ve been watching me, whatever the hell that means. He said they could use someone like me.” Sero looked at you expectantly and flailed his arms.

“And?” You sighed again.

“And he has lots of piercings, blue eyes, and he’s kind of an asshole,” you begrudgingly admitted.

“Just your type, then.”

“I guess.” Dabi did check all your boxes. Somehow.

Sero had been your best friend through all of your tumultuous relationships and your complete weakness for “bad boys” that never treated you right. Dabi definitely fit this category, especially with him being a villain. If you had to psychoanalyze yourself and guess, it must be some self-destructive tendency as a result of your dad’s abuse being the only kind of love you had known after the fifth grade. Therapy might be good. Or maybe you really had embraced your dark side like Midoriya had said. The cliché was almost laughable, but you certainly weren’t going to resist your interest in the scarred man.

“But he also told me that I should watch my back, and he basically admitted that he got information about me from one of the mobs I make deals with. I mean, what else could he mean by that?” Sero hummed and his face twisted slightly with concern. 

He didn’t say it, what you both knew, and what you had been trying to avoid thinking about. The possibility that your Uncle could be the one selling information about you to the League. What could be worth it? More money than they already had? Protection? Supplies? What was worth selling you out for after you had saved so many of their men’s lives? You were blood.

As much as you could tell yourself it was another gang who did it, the one detail remained inconsistent: how Dabi knew about your family. You were certain you hadn’t told a soul who didn’t already know because they were directly involved. The city had to cover up the story, sweep it under the rug and not give details about it to keep your story confidential. It would have looked bad for the well-known hero agency of which he was a member. Of course, the hero had gotten off on some bullshit jail time that wasn’t long enough for the murder (though accidental, it was still murder) he committed. So it wasn’t like anyone could look you up and figure out your entire life story. Or certainly not about that incident. 

You had done years of intensive, paranoid searching to find the story buried somewhere. You never found it. No one was interested in telling the stories of people like you. They would much prefer you stay unknown and unheard.

The only way to figure it out was an inside perspective. You supposed there were the gangsters close to your uncle that could possibly know. Certainly Chisaki, but would Tommy really have told his underlings? No, that seemed unlikely. So, the only people who realistically knew about it were Sero, Tommy, and Chisaki. You thought to the other gangs. In your numerous calculated conversations with Izuku, you were certain you had never slipped up and betrayed any details of your personal life, much less of your childhood trauma. That was a hard line you never crossed with the crime lord, even when he tried to poke around. 

It certainly couldn’t be Keigo. He didn’t seem to care enough about you, or any other than himself, to send people to spy on you. Even if a gangster was spying on you, it still didn’t explain how they knew. Maybe you had talked about it out in the open with Sero? You shook your head, beginning to feel a pounding at the base of your skull from overthinking. You needed a distraction.

“What’s his name?” You gestured your fork at the sloth that was now languidly picking through Sero’s hair. Maybe that’s why it looked more frizzy than usual. 

“Frank. Maybe.” You looked at him incredulously and laughed. It was a funny name, but he had to have thought of something better. “Oh what are you laughing about?” 

“Frank is an absolutely unacceptable name for a sloth. It would have to be something like….Morgan. Yeah, I can see that.”

“I can’t! How is Morgan any better than Frank? They’re both people names. And what else do you name sloths? Fluffy?” 

The rest of the meal was spent arguing over names from his new companion. Except when you occasionally interjected with new realizations about your predicament. Sero played along whenever you derailed the conversation with blurting your thoughts out loud, and gave you reassurance when you needed it. Thank the Gods for his endless patience.

After you both were done eating and paid for the food—the pink-skinned waitress with black pits for eyes was smitten and gave Sero a fuck me please discount—you both started walking back to your house, since Sero had to start up his tattoo shop for the day. You plotted activities for the next time you would come over to his apartment. 

Once you returned to your doorstep, Sero pulled you into his arms. 

“Just know that whatever you choose, I’m here to support you. I love you, okay? Get some more rest then call them and negotiate. They’re only getting you on your terms.” He gazed at you with fondness and a rare seriousness that differed from his normally felicitous demeanor. “And feel around to see who could possibly be telling the League that stuff. Whoever it is, it’ll be okay.”

“I will, and yeah I still need to think about it more, but you’re right. It’s on my terms,” you punched him on the shoulder, “love you too, weirdo.” You reached up to hesitantly stroke the sloth’s head, unsure if that’s what you did with pet sloths. “Bye, Frank.” 

It was a cute name, and you didn’t actually have a problem with it, you just liked messing with Sero. As you watched him walk away you wondered how you lucked out to have someone as great as Sero in your life. He made you laugh with his near-constant levity, but was still serious when you needed it. He had been your rock since high school, and you didn’t want to imagine how your life would be without him. 

You sighed. Now it was time to sit down and do some research.

[let-me-write-shit]

Somebody To You: 12

Friendly reminder to please Like and/or Reblog. It helps more than you think! :)

Word Count: 4,361

Warning: FLUFFFFFFF

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CHAPTER TWELVE:

It was the first gray day in over a month. It hasn’t rained in LA since Jess’s birthday and the anniversary of her death. Zoey sat outside on the balcony with Binx on her lap, letting the gentle breeze nip at her skin. She always found it so peaceful right before a storm. She looked out at all of the car lights going up and down the surrounding streets - they looked like ants from the twenty-second floor. 

She could hear the laughter from Brett and Nancy inside making fun of a horribly cast Indie movie and grinned, glad to have such great friends. She should have been inside getting ready for her date, but it was too calming out here to do that. She’d rather stay out here, listening to the palm trees rustle, the cars rush by, and the cat purr. She felt her phone buzz and she turned it over to see Harry trying to facetime her. Like Zoey, he had the day off today. He was in Arizona now, so they were in the same time zone, at least. She answered the call and held the phone at a better angle. Soon, Harry’s face came into view, swallowing a large bite of something.

“Are you eating dinner?” Zoey asked.

Harry panned down to show her his plate of pasta, “Room service,” he said.

“Nice. What’s going on? Bored?”

“Was supposed to head out in a few but my friends are stuck in traffic so I thought I’d call and see what’s up.”

“You have friends?” Zoey asked sarcastically, earning the middle finger from Harry as he took another huge bite of his pasta. She continued, “Nothing. Just sitting outside with Binx, waiting for tonight.”

“What’s tonight?”

“I’ve got a date.” Harry’s eyebrow raised suspiciously when Zoey quickly added, “It’s not with Brett. Although, he is here.”

“At your place? Is he with Rory?”

Zoey rolled her eyes, “No, Rory’s still working. He’s with Nancy. Would you chill? Nothing is going on between them.”

“It didn’t look like nothing,” Harry countered.

Zoey groaned, “You of all people should know that paparazzi pictures aren’t always what they seem. I told you I was with them that day, would you relax, you big baby? We talked about this.”

He sighed, putting his fork down and wiping the corners of his mouth with a napkin, “I know. But I can’t help that I get jealous. It fucked me up.”

After their outing a few weeks ago, paparazzi had caught a picture of Aurora and Brett laughing together walking through the downtown area, of course cropping Zoey and Andy out of the background. She was obviously big news because she was newly famous, but also because of her recent connection with Harry, so people began speculating when they saw her out and about with a new hunky man. Brett ate that shit up like a cake, but Rory seemed a bit flustered by it. And Harry. He saw the pictures before any of them did. Well, that was all he needed to put his ass in gear. 

At first, he was mad, calling Zoey while she was at work and interrogating her about the situation, freaking out. “I thought he was your boyfriend? I knew something was up with him! Why is Rory with him? Why didn’t you tell me?” He made an absolute ass out of himself. She’d never heard him so upset before. And Zoey felt bad, but she had to shut that shit down, telling him that if Rory was with someone, it wasn’t his concern since Rory isn’t technically his girlfriend and reminding him that Brett was not her boyfriend and she had no control over what another person says or does. Brett has been nothing but kind to everyone there and Harry didn’t need to drag other people down because of his own insecurities. 

It was a long conversation and Harry really got his ass handed to him. He promptly apologized to Zoey and even sent her a bouquet of flowers for it, which was sweet. Although, Rory got an even bigger bouquet and a box of chocolate-covered strawberries after the conversation the two of them had with each other. Harry didn’t go into specifics with Zoey, but he did hint that he thought everything would be fine and they had an understanding. Still, it’s been a few weeks since this all went down and Harry still brought it up, his insecurities unwavering.

“Well, it wasn’t a date. They were literally just walking. Andy and I were right behind them. Besides, even if it was a date, she warned you that she wouldn’t wait forever. She told you that back in May. Your tour is over in less than two weeks. You’ve had months to give her an answer. Did you yet?”

“No,” Harry admitted. As soon as he saw the annoyance in Zoey’s eyes he hurriedly continued, “But I know what I want now. And I’m going to tell her. But I want to tell her in person. Or ask her in person, I guess.”

Zoey’s eyes widened, lighting up a bit, “You’re finally going to ask her out?”

“Well, my last show is in Portland the Friday after next and I was going to head back home to London on Sunday, but I was thinking about making a stop there before I go. Maybe surprise her. I’m not sure yet. I might get too impatient and just do it over Facetime if I can’t get a flight there right after the concert.”

Zoey grinned excitedly, “That’s really sweet, H. I’m happy for you.”

Harry blushed, smiling, “Thanks. Hopefully she’ll say yes.”

“Well you’re not proposing, and I know she really likes you, so I’m sure she will. I mean, you’re basically dating as it is. You two are still good, right?”

“I think so. I mean, we haven’t talked a ton because we’re just on opposite schedules right now, but when we do talk it seems alright.”

“Good. Then you have nothing to worry about,” Zoey grinned.

They talked for a bit more, but as the time neared her having to leave she decided to hang up and start getting ready. The restaurant her date was taking her to was pretty nice, so she dressed up in a shin-length, long sleeve sleek black dress with a bit of a shoulder and a slit going up the side, some pointed black heels, and put her dirty blonde hair in a low bun with strands dangling to frame her face. When she stepped out to say goodbye to Nancy and Brett, they both looked her up and down, Nancy letting out hollers and Brett whistling. 

“You look hot!” Nancy yelped as Brett shook his head in awe.

“This guy better watch it! I don’t know if he can handle you. Trust me. I’d know,” he winked.

Zoey shook her head, laughing and heading towards the door, “Bye guys. Be on standby in case I need a quick out!” she called, grabbing her keys and heading to her car. She never liked to be picked up on a first date. She always drove herself and met her date at the location.

Meanwhile, Mitch and Adam had finally gotten back from their trip to town. Normally Harry made it a point not to drink during the tour, but he made an exception tonight. They had off for three days and a bunch of people from the tour was going out, so why not? Besides, it was a Tuesday night. It wouldn’t be too crazy.

So, with rings on his fingers, layered necklaces, a brown shirt, navy trousers, and a lime green blazer, Harry headed out to the bars with his friends. They had filled a good portion of the bar in town, and he quickly became friendly with the owner, taking pictures and making a quick video for his daughter at home while making the rounds to the members of staff and getting drinks for everyone. 

Drink after drink the weight on his shoulders began to lessen and he felt looser, eyes more bloodshot, and making more jokes. His spotted Mitch and Adam on the couch in the corner and made his way over, plopping on the edge of the seat next and flinging an arm around Adam.

“You guys having a good time?” Harry slurred a bit.

“Yeah, man, this is great,” Harry nodded.

“Looks like you're having a good time,” Mitch smirked. 

“I’m great!” Harry announced, looking out at everyone smiling and laughing and having a good time. He frowned a bit, “Tour’s almost over. A week and a half left.”

“What are you gonna do when it’s done? Start recording?”

“Eventually,” Harry nodded, “I’m gonna go back to London and see some family for a bit. I think I’m going to stop back in LA first, though.”

“What, to see Zoey?” Mitch teased earning a little chuckle from Adam.

“Nooo,” Harry exaggerated, head wobbling as the drinks kicked in more, “To see Rory. I’m going to ask her out.”

Both Mitch and Adam’s eyes widened and they simply said, “Oh.”

“I didn’t even know you still talked to her,” Adam confessed, “Well, congrats, man.”

“Did you tell Zoey yet?” Mitch asked.

Harry nodded, taking another sip of his drink, “Yeah, I was just on the phone with her before you got back and told her. Why?”

Mitch shrugged, “I don’t know, just curious what she said about it.”

Harry’s eyebrows furrowed, “She’s happy about it. She’s friends with Rory, too. She’s my best friend, dude. We don’t like each other.”

Mitch nodded and Adam asked, “So when do we get to meet her? Is she going to come to the last concert or something? Maybe visit us in London?”

Harry shook his head, slurring some more, “No, she’s got work that day and she never calls off. And she’s never been out of the country yet. I don’t know. I’m sure you’ll meet her one day. She’s cool, you’ll like her. It’s like once you start talking to her you can’t stop. Like she never runs out of things to say. Not in an annoying way, it’s like there’s never an awkward silence, you know? You’ll see.” Adam and Mitch shared a look before changing the subject.

The second she got to the restaurant it began to drizzle. She made it just in time. Her date was a patron she met at the bar named Eric. He was older than her by about six years but was always very friendly when he came in. He was very clearly an important businessman, as were most people that came into her work, not that she really cared about that. She found most wealthier businessmen were typically creeps or jerks or some combination of the two, so Eric seemed like a breath of fresh air. He always dressed in the nicest suits and had his hair perfectly styled, sporting a different expensive watch each day.

He stood from his seat when he saw her walking in and gave her a friendly hug, kissing her cheek before she sat opposite of him. Nice restaurants always had the worst lighting. She could hardly see anything in the dim lighting, the candle in between them illuminated upwards, casting quite creepy shadows on Eric’s face. 

He smiled and practically growled, “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” she grinned, brushing the hair away from her eyes.

“I’ve already placed an order for you, I hope that’s okay. I remember you saying you liked salmon and this place really has the best.”

“Oh, great, thanks,” she grinned, taking a sip of water. Zoey hated when people ordered for her. She knew he meant well, and at least it wasn’t just a salad, but he couldn’t have waited for her to look at the menu first? What if she wasn’t in the mood for salmon. She put the glass down, “Thanks for doing this on a Tuesday. I know I’ve got a really strange schedule.”

“It’s not a problem. I’d have done any day of the week if it meant I got to have dinner with you.”

The line might have worked, but it sounded weird coming from his mouth. Eric seemed different when he was alone compared to when he was surrounded by colleagues at her bar. Even with his cheesy pickup lines, he seemed less confident here. Shyer. More out of his comfort zone. 

Still, she smiled politely and continued the conversation, “So, why are you single? LA’s got a lot of pickings. Not a great dating scene? You know I’m fairly new here so I’m just getting the hang of it.”

Eric swallowed, nodding a bit, “Well, truth be told I’m not too sure myself. I just got out of a pretty long relationship, so I’m new to the dating scene, too.”

“Really? How long were you two together?”

“About nine years.”

“Nine years? Wow, that’s a long time.”

He nodded, “Yeah, it was pretty rough. We were actually set to get married this month before she broke it off.’

“Oh, I’m so sorry!”

She listened to him talk more about his ex. He talked so much that he barely ate a bite of food when their dinners were brought out. And the more he talked, the more emotional he seemed to get. By the time she had finished her salmon, he was practically in tears. The conversation turned more to a therapy session and ended with her trying to convince him of his worth. That, even though she’s sure his ex was a lovely girl for someone, no girl is worth losing sleep over if they’re not as equally invested into the relationship as their partner. And by the time they were getting ready to leave, Eric seemed more happy and confident than she had ever seen him.

Eric laughed as they stood up and headed for the door, “Sorry about all that. I guess I’m still not exactly over it.”

Zoey waved him off, “Don’t apologize. I completely understand.”

When they got into the landing of the restaurant they peered outside at the downpour of rain. The roadways looked like streams and the streetlights reflected against the water, making it look like it sparkled against the night sky. 

“Ready to make a run for it?” Eric asked, holding onto the door handle.

When Zoey nodded, he pushed the door open and they ran, cold water splashing up against her leg with each step, shielding her eyes as the rain pelted against them. When they made it to the parking garage, soaked, he shook the water off his arms and groaned, “I’ll need to get this suit to the cleaners now.” He looked down at Zoey and smiled, moving a strand of hair that had been slicked down with water on her forehead to the side of her face, “Thank you. For tonight.”

“Goodluck, Eric,” she smiled kindly at him, kissing his cheek before getting in her car. She gave him a little wave as she pulled out and drove away.

Zoey drove home in silence, reflecting on the date. She felt bad for him, truly. But what was it with men pining for women who they treated poorly? Why was it so hard for men to see what they had when they had it and not when it was too late? What a waste of a date. She was really looking forward to this one, too.

By the time she pulled into her condo’s parking garage, it was a little past midnight. Her dress was disgustingly damp and clung to her skin like plastic wrap and her heels squeaked with every step she took. Once in the lobby, Zoey bent down to undo the straps on her heels and pulled them off, letting her bare feet on the cold marble floor. She carried her heels in one hand and headed towards the elevator, pressing the button. When the elevator finally reached the ground floor and the doors opened, she was surprised to see Brett heading out.  

He laughed when he saw her, “Was your date outside? You're soaked.”

She smiled, happy to see a familiar, emotionally available man after that horrible date, “I’m cold, too.”

“Where’s your date? Couldn’t handle you?”

“Something like that,” she grinned, “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah, Nancy went to bed.”

“And Rory’s not back yet?”

“Nope, not yet.”

Zoey thought for a moment before stepping a bit closer to him, “Well...you can stay if you want?” 

Brett thought for a moment, looking her up and down before backing up a bit, “I’m...uh...actually getting a bit tired. Raincheck?”

“Oh, yeah. No problem,” Zoey stammered, getting red in the cheeks, “I should take a shower anyway. Get out of this wetsuit of a dress.”

She frowned a bit, looking into his eyes. It might not seem like that big of a deal, but she and Brett haven’t had sex in a week. He’d had every opportunity and hint thrown his way, but it either went right over his head or he made an excuse. He’d been on the phone a lot more at work recently and knew that he had gone on a date with that redheaded waitress from the restaurant they went to a few weeks ago, so she assumed things had gotten serious between the two, but couldn’t he have just told her that?

He nodded and smiled a tight grin and she watched as he headed towards the door. Before he could even pull it open, Aurora walked through, colliding into him.

“Oh, hey!” She chirped, looking up to see both Brett and Zoey standing there. “You leaving?” she asked Brett.

He nodded, muttering, “Yeah. I’m tired.”

“Okay. See you later,” she said, heading over towards Zoey. 

The two girls got onto the elevator and Rory took a long look at her roommate, “Did you get stuck in the rain?” she asked.

Zoey nodded, motioning to herself, “This happened in less than three seconds.”

“I like your outfit. Why all dressed up?”

She wiped some water that was dripping down her forehead from her hair and said, “I had a date tonight.”

“Oh, with Brett?”

“No, some guy I met at work. Let’s just say there won’t be a second date,” Rory laughed as the elevator doors opened on their floor and they stepped out. Zoey continued as she punched in the code to get into their apartment, “You going to bed?”

Rory nodded, exasperatedly sighing, “Yeah, I’m exhausted. I’ll see you in the morning.”

They split up when they got inside, Rory going to her bedroom while Zoey went into hers. She stared at herself in the mirror and gasped. Streaks of mascara running down her cheeks from the rain, and her baby hairs starting to curl from the dampness. She did her best to wipe the makeup off, but there were still some residuals left. Really, she should be taking a shower right now, but she wasn’t in the mood. She couldn’t stop thinking about Eric and how much he missed his ex. It reminded him of Michael and how desperately he tried to hold onto her before she left.

She picked up her phone and searched through her contacts, finding the one she wanted, pressing the button for FaceTime call. Within seconds, the screen widened and Harry’s face popped up.

“Hello!” He sang, grinning, the picture shaking a bit as he was unsteady, clearly walking.

“Hey, are you busy?”

“Nope, I’m actually just getting back to the hotel now. What’s up?” he asked, dropping a set of keys, his wallet, and a few other knick-knacks on the desk before stumbling and plopping on the bed and taking a look at her. He blew out a chuckle, “What happened to you?”

She grinned, “It was raining.”

“How was your date?” 

She extended her camera out further and spun, panning the room, “Do you say anyone here with me?”

Harry smiled, “Bad, huh? You look lovely, though.”

“Thanks. Aside from the makeup running down my face and my hair a frizzy mess,” she groaned, wiping more water from her forehead, “I had to comfort this man so he wouldn’t cry about his ex-girlfriend.”

Harry winced, slurring, “At least you got a free meal out of it. That sounds really good right now. I should order room service,” he sat up, scanning his room, “should I get dessert or a meal? Or both?” he asked himself.

Zoey laughed, amused, “Are you drunk?”

He whipped his head at the phone, “No! I’m buzzed.”

She shook her head, “I should get a glass of wine and get buzzed, too.”

“The boys were asking about you tonight,” he said abruptly.

“The boys? Who are the boys and are they single?”

“Mitch and Adam. They’re in my band, and no, they’re not single,” Harry rolled his eyes, making Zoey sarcastically groan, “They were wondering when they were going to meet you.”

Zoey furrowed her eyes in confusion. Harry never really talked about his other friends with her. Obviously she knew he had other friends, but he figured that they were in such a different circle than her that they just never came up in conversation and Zoey just assumed that it would have been the same situation in his other friend groups where he didn’t talk about her. So to hear that they not only knew about her but were interested in meeting her was news.

“Oh, so you’re saying you talk about me?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, yeah, you’re my best friend,” he said.

Zoey paused, seeing the look in Harry’s face. There wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He was serious. She felt her heart melt at those words. He’d been the one person she’d met since Jess died that she felt like she could be 100% herself around no matter the circumstance. She never had to censor herself in fear of hurting his feelings or saying the wrong thing, and vice versa. Zoey always considered Harry to be one of her best friends, too, but she never said anything in fear of him not feeling the same way considering how many friends he had. But to hear the words come out of his mouth was a reassurance she never knew she needed.

“I’m your best friend?” she repeated.

Harry’s eyes widened, sobering up quickly at the realization of what he just revealed. He cleared his throat, “Sorry, was that awkward?”

She shook her head, “No, it’s not awkward, H. We talk every day about literally the most disgusting things. You couldn’t make me feel awkward. I just didn’t know you considered me one of your best friends, so that’s nice to hear.”

“Are you going to tell me I’m your best friend, too, or is this going to be that heart-wrenching situation where your best friend has a different best friend than you? Because don’t do that to me,” Harry joked.

Zoey laughed, “You’re a close second behind Binx.”

“The cat outranks me?” He gasped, before nodding understandably, “I get it.”

She shook her head, pursing her lips, “Ew, who would have thought that your best friend would be some rando from Pennsylvania?”

He grinned, “It doesn’t matter where you’re from. I was just talking to Mitch about this the other day. And I don’t want you to read into it, because it’s not that serious, but I honestly feel like you’re my soulmate. In a completely non-creepy way. Don’t laugh, I’m trying to be honest,” Harry flushed, embarrassed. Zoey bit her lips before waving, continuing him along, but finding it hard to hide her smile. He spoke again, “I just can’t imagine not having you in my life. Like, you’re the one person I can go to about anything at the end of the day and feel better about everything, you know? You keep me from going insane and I love you.”

After a moment of silence, Zoey smirked and jokingly said, “...Oh my god, are we about to kiss?”

“Shut up!” Harry laughed, “I’m serious.”

“I love you too, H.” she giggled, putting her chin in her hand, “You’re my best friend and I’m grateful for you every day. You saved me.” She got more serious, “ I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t here and I don’t think I thank you enough for that.”

He shook his head, “You do. You thank me every day by just existing.” They smiled at each other for a moment before Harry spoke again, “Alright, yuck. We’re done with the mushy shit now. Let’s get back to talking shit about your date.”

The conversation continued as if nothing had happened, but both parties now had a deep sense of profound consideration for each other. She loved that stupid, annoying boy. Not like a lover, not like a brother or a family member or a friend, she just simply loved him beyond all sense of meaning. She loved his existence and his entire being and he loved her as well. She was his person.

“Did Rory ever get back home?” Harry asked.

Zoey nodded, “She walked in like four seconds after me. She went right to be, though.”

“I’m getting nervous about asking her out, now.”

Zoey rolled her eyes, chuckling, “Shut up, you know she’ll say yes. She’s been waiting this long. Why wouldn’t she?”

He didn’t know. He just had a weird feeling that something wrong was going to happen. He couldn’t shake it. Just as he was about to speak her hard a loud crack. Zoey’s room went dark, causing her to shriek.

“You okay?” he asked, sitting up straight.

“The power just went out,” she said, looking out of her window at the raging storm. It didn’t seem to affect any other building, just hers. A minute later there was another, deeper, cracking noise and what sounded to be a rush of water. “What the hell was that?” she asked, walking towards her door, and she gasped, loudly, “Oh my fucking god! Water! My room is flooding.”

KEEP READING

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@thurhomish​ @stilljosiegrossie​

[etraytin]

Quarantine, Day 78

I have decided to christen today Noodle Day, as that is the most interesting thing that happened. It was a pretty quiet day in quarantine, though my MIL did go out for a dental cleaning that is medically important and should not be put off. She reports that her dentist was covered in so much PPE that she could not even recognize him when he came in. I respect that. She's got a brand new clean test, but still, anybody who's getting into somebody else's mouth right now is a brave person. 

The kiddo was up again a few minutes ago but not too bad, freefloating questions about what the future might look like, and then he hit me with a question about why some people don't want to get a vaccine if it's available. I bit back the automatic and generally unhelpful "because they're stupid" and tried to explain how there was a study a long time ago by a doctor who used bad methods and who wanted the study to turn out a certain way, and that study said vaccines might be bad. Other scientists jumped right on that theory to test it and found that it was wrong, but the doctor still wanted to sell stuff, so he made friends with some famous people in Hollywood and convinced them that he was right, and they made word spread. I tried to explain how people like to feel like they have control of their lives and that one way they can feel like they have control is if they feel smarter than doctors and scientists. That's why it's hard to convince these people with evidence, because the evidence doesn't matter as much as the good feeling of having control. We both agreed that this is not a good way to live one's life. 

We also speculated on what life and school would be like if you only go in the mornings or the afternoons, or every other day, or every other week. Some things will be similar, some things will be different, there might even be more periods of quarantine, but it'll be okay and we'll be all right. I try not to lie to him when he asks about these things, but at the same time it's not helpful or fair to load my doubts and worries onto him when he hasn't got tools to deal with them. It's kind of the same way we handle talking about politics; he knows that the president right now is not doing a good job and we don't like a lot of what he's doing, but I try to avoid ranting about all the ways he's destroying America where the kiddo can hear. Part of being the parent is holding onto stuff until your kid is ready to handle it without it damaging him. And I do think things will be all right, eventually. 

Anyway, noodle day. We ate leftovers for lunch again, and I think I'm going to have to throw the salsa chicken into the freezer because it is the Leftover That Wouldn't Die. Still tastes good on day four, but who wants it to? I had leftover pot roast instead, which was delicious. For dinner I did up a beer can chicken in the oven that ended up being a pop-can-with-beer-in-it chicken because our only beer was in bottles. I had a recipe that involved patting the chicken dry and then using Worcestershire sauce to hold the spices to it, and because I am crazy for that anchovy ketchup goodness, I just had to try it. Rather than serve heaping plates of meat all on its own, I decided that garlic parmesan noodles would be the perfect accompaniment and broke out the pasta maker. My pasta maker is a series of attachments for the Kitchenaid stand mixer, which luckily my MIL also owns. I brought them down after my trip home last week and have been itching for a chance to use them. 

My egg noodle recipe is very simple, two cups of flour, one teaspoon(ish) of salt, and three eggs plus one egg yolk. You make a clear, very clean place on your counter and make yourself a little flour and salt mountain , then poke a nice big caldera in it, into which you pour your eggs. Use one hand to incorporate the eggs into the flour, then use your clean hand to get a butter knife and scrape the wet dough off your other hand, then knead the hell out of the dough until it's nice and smooth and all the flour is incorporated. Let it rest for half an hour by rolling it into a ball and putting it in plastic wrap, then pastafy it! (I have been watching a _lot_ of Pasta Grannies on YouTube lately, but I'm not very brave yet, recipewise.)

MIL has never seen pasta being machine-made in person, so she was pretty fascinated by the whole rolling out process. Since I wanted fettucini, I rolled to the second thinnest setting, then used my cutting roller to turn it all into nice long noodles, then let it dry for a few hours. SO much easier than rolling it by hand, and it turned out so much nicer. Fresh noodles cook in just 3-4 minutes too, which is very handy. Because I wanted to highlight the noodles themselves, I just put butter, garlic salt and parmesan cheese on them, no sauce. We all ate some chicken at dinner (it was pretty good!) but the noodles were the star attraction. Anything that my MIL will take thirds of is going straight onto the recipe shortlist. She's doing a lot better at eating good meals, but I worry! Speaking of which, tomorrow is her followup on her knee, so let's hope for good news on that, with good news being "no more brace." We still haven't figured out how to keep the damn thing from sliding down her leg all the time, and I still don't know if we've got it together right. I told her that if, heaven forfend, she has to keep wearing the brace, she must not leave the doctor's office until she Facetimes me and makes him show me by video how to put that wretched thing on correctly. But hopefully it will be a moot point. It would be great if she's into PT and getting around well by the time we have to go. 

[survivormagictreehouse]

Episode #7 “#Zachexposed Party” -Jess

-VI was voted out and now I’m forever sad. I wish you the best VI and hope you feel better soon! Goal #1 can never be accomplished now so that’s a bummer. But at least my alliance member RACHAEL wasn’t voted out! And now we’re doing Touchy Subjects with 95% negative answers. Drama here we come! 

-We won another Challenge! Annie Tribe curse has been officially broken! Touchy Subjects was the name, and me winning was the game. I don’t ducking know. But I scored the highest on my tribe and won a ~mysterious package~ which turned out to be an idol clue. “Find the idol will no longer be a walk on the shore. In order to succeed, two items you will need.” So at least three searches in the idol search I suppose. I might share the clue with JESS and BIRCH and have them help me find the idol. Though I might just tell them part of the clue or something so they don’t have the whole picture. I’m undecided. I’m really hoping the other tribe votes off ALI, COLLIN or RUTHIE, since I think I’m the least likely to work with any of those three. RACHAEL must stay, BODHI I could work with and TIMMY I’m neutral on. CINDI is a bit of a wildcard but I think I could manage to work with her as well. JESS is speculating there’s a merge after the vote and I’m inclined to agree with that. A new idol search and we’ll be at 13 players which is a typical merge. I did not come into this game expecting to win, or even make the merge. But now I think I have a real shot at going far. Imagine me getting to FTC twice in a row in Atomic. How cool would that be? 

Death by Skittle

-(this is for last round i am a bit late) Last round in the video challenge, which I ended up somehow becomming the editor for. First of all, I asked for the video clips to be in by sunday night so that I could do the video and be done with it, but Chips put it off and ended up making us wait till Monday morning which really set us back. Then Keegan submitted videos with almost no sound and little feeling so it was hard to use any of his clips. Then Jess decided to edit the video I made, and when she did that the lyrics didnt match the song anymore and it almost cost us the challenge. We also found out Birch has a +10 advantage, so need to be aware of that.Birch and Chips are my biggest targets on this tribe, and i am still ina  really good spot with Zach and Jess, and close allies with Gavin and Keegan

-This round was touchy subjects. The tribe thought that I was the mvp of the tribe which makes me a possible target with the merge coming up. It was also revealed birch is not in a great place on my tribe and they also said they believe the majority of the tribe thinks I am next to go. I am concerned about my placement with them. Overall this round made me a bit nervous, but excited to hope for a merge in the future.

-There's a Mesopotamia/Svalbard alliance with Bodhi, Rachael, Collin, and me which I love cause I love all those people except Rachael sometimes but she hasn't had to do schoolwork once this game so that's nice. I'm just kidding I love Rachael as long as she doesn't have homework. Cause when she has homework that means she's voting me out. I swear the moment she has to do schoolwork its' done. And then Ali and Bodhi are on weird ground because of how Bodhi got rid of Ali in Lover BUT I REALLY WANT US TO HAVE AN ALLIANCE CALLED THE LOVERS CAUSE 1) Ali is very loyal so, like, I want to work with him 2) THAT NAME IS GREAT AND I DEMAND IT IN MY LIFE Then there's Timmy who has only spoken to me on call or in tribe chat. Nothing beyond that. So, like, bye Timmy. Bodhi also has an issue with Timmy but Rachael swears he's okay. But I don't want to have two Timmys anyway. What even are their last initials? Don't care enough to learn them. BYE TIMMY! Then there's Ruthie who is very sweet and I don't think super strategic? At least not at this point. She just seems like a nice mom. I don't even know if she is a mom. But she would be a nice one to, like, a 3? year old. Idk. Mom vibes. So I'd like to keep her in and I'm assuming that touchy subjects leads to a swap or merge (but this is a very early merge) so, like, hopefully she doesn't have to go after Timmy. It's absolutely insane to me that all of the tribals I've been to have been easy votes? Something spicy needs to happen sometime. Other tribe has had interesting votes. Not us. Couldn't be us.

-So Timmy thinks Collin, Rachael, him, and I are voting Bodhi out and possibly Ruthie as well. Yet he has still not messaged me once. Sir, why would I vote out Bodhi, whom I love dearly, to save your sorry ass when you have not even spoke to me? This dude either has an idol or is just crazy cause, like, that is not how you play Survivor. Do you actually want to stay? Then talk.

-okay! so we have quite a bit to catch up on... but on the bright side. WE WON IMMUNITY FOR ONCE! HALLELUJAH! i got sent to the treehouse which was EXCITING and i found the idol clue... which was literally to the idol i had so that was DISAPPOINTING to say the least. however, i also found the location of the other idol but someone else has it, which is good info to have at least. i posted a lot of my important information in my confessional, so i am just going to repost it here. basically, jess and i had a really good call about how we are not on the bottom, but are not in a good spot come merge. it's clear who is in power over here (zach, keegan, timmy)--because birch is with keegan, so we can't make a move against zach. so, if we lose again chips will leave (who is arguably a number for us because jess has him wrapped around his finger). on the other hand, i kind of have an in with zach and keegan--so i want to be able to milk that for as long as possible to get information on others in the game. but i am really not liking the closeness of timmy and zach especially (kind of keegan, but he has been a bit more lowkey the past few rounds, which is smart on his part). i just have a lot of adjusting to do, and i need to start planting seeds to turn people against each other (especially if we are merging soon). i feel good with rachael obviously, but i don't know how close she is with keegan/zach--but i do think she would turn on them eventually (just not anytime soon). im hoping the apparent alliance of 6 (now 4) and keegan/timmy/zach kind of battle one another and take each other out and i can just play the middle and watch them crumble.

-ARE WE SURPRISED MY CONFESSIONAL IS LATE AGAIN? I AM NOT... BUT I AM SORRY. anyways, this round the challenge was touchy subjects which was LOVELY for me because i am fucking AMAZING at knowing what other people are thinking so i basically knew i had it in the bag from the get-go. When we won, and I got that secret advantage which was an idol clue... that literally made no sense to me. however, i think i need to find two keys in order to get the idol... so, the first step for me is to hunt down these goddamn keys i guess. anyways, back to the tribe stuff... so, following the challenge and the post-winning glee emerged, jess and i went on call and discussed everything we were thinking. we were both very worried about crackhead zach's connections, and basically knew that we were merging, and he would be kind of untouchable as a result. however, if we were to have thrown the challenge, it would have been the perfect opportunity to take him out. however, it was too late to consider that, and we just had to continue our discussion about the game further down the line. so, on the topic of zach, jess mentions the "alliance" made between her, timmy, and zach. we both knew zach and timmy were very close, but this just confirmed it even more. basically, zach brought up the idea of making a 9 person alliance excluding ali, birch, chips, and i believe cindi. which, from that point, they could side with either me/keegan, or side with the other four (i don't know why i am being paired with keegan but go off i guess). i obviously didn't like hearing that, and it made it even more clear to me that he is playing not only a messy game, but an extremely wishy-washy game too. his loyalties seem to be all over the place, and i never see myself being one of his top priorities with collin, timmy, and rachael (and others) in the game. so, when the time is right... i am going to be the one to send his ass to ponderosa. i just hope i can keep my idol in the process for protection further down the line.

https://youtu.be/UolbDzsPoho (round 6)

https://youtu.be/wLA8Pt4bXlQ

https://youtu.be/jn8XxFsmPQU

So it’ll probably be between myself and Bodhi at tribal tonight because I don’t really want him gone. He’s talking to me about a plan but he’s not giving an concrete answers and with that then I can’t help both of us. I already told him ruthie but he didn’t want to and I said that’s fine I only said her bc she seemed the easiest option, tbh I don’t really want her gone either since she’s not a threat. But when asking who he wants after that bc he said we could have our og tribe and ruthie vote together he didn’t give a name. The concern is, Rachel and Cindi are friends and I don’t think will vote each other. The biggest threat is Rachel because of her outside connections with Cindi, Zach, and I think Timmy Z, so concern is there. 

https://youtu.be/cX7Ieh2o3QU

https://youtu.be/HGm7ukcUEcU

Ladies, gentlemen, or whatever you identify as.... welcome to Phase 1 of the.... #Zachexposed party... hosted by me, Jess! I've decided I've been tame for too long and there needs to be a shake up. I haven't decided how quickly I want to do this BUT if I win first immunity I'm going for it. Zach is arguably the most dangerous player in the game right now. He's literally playing the game I typically play and I see right through it. No "large groups", working with small groups only, making people feel like they are his "true number ones" and attempting to align their interests with all the other groups. In his mind right now he sees himself covered by 8 people. 

The 8 people: 1. Jess 2. Timmy Z 3. Gavin 4. Cindi 5. Rachael 6. Collin 7. Collin 8. Either Timmy L or Bodhi How does this all work exactly? 

Let me break it all down for you: He has an alliance with: - Me & Timmy - Keegan & Gavin & (Rachael) - Me & Gavin & Timmy & Keegan - Connections with: --> Collin/Rachael/Cindi on the other tribe. I don't think it is a coincidence that the other tribe wants him on their team... ANYWAYS. 

What is phase 1 exactly? - Planting the seeds, laying down the blue print, and rallying the misfits. How: Rallying the troops: - I told Chips about the old tree house idol clue and the whole next round we are merging message I recieved. --> Obviously that builds a continued line of communication and hopefully trust. He feels pretty alone and I really think he's CRUCIAL to my game. - I also told Birch about my findings because those two (Chips and Birch) would never compare notes on me I don't think? --> Birch also feels a bit alone and they are CRUCIAL to my game. Lastly, I have an "alliance" with everyone else and they will tell Gavin everything before me so I'll be in the know. 

The ammo: - I can use the fact that the other tribe wants ZACH with them as another counter point - Confessionals of proof that Zach/Collin have been close recently which might not even mean anything to people but it counts when you got NOTHING. - The knowledge of him having an alliance with me/Timmy - The knowledge of him having an alliance with Keegan/Gavin - The knowledge of him having an alliance with Keegan/Gavin/Rachael - The knowledge of him being extra close with Rachael so whatever connections she made.. he has a head start on. - I also know he's close with Collin so they could essentially do the whole "control one side and you control the other" 

HOWEVER THE MOST IMPORTANT PIECE OF EVIDENCE/ AMMO IS: - Zach has basically given me the key to the palace today where he told me we could flip on Gavin/Keegan at 9 and "go with the other four" meaning.. Cindi/Bodhi/Collin/Rachael. Meaning.... he exposed who is he close with and people might wonder how they fit into his plans. Can't go to final 2 with 8 other people... 7 people will get cut and that's on mathematics. I'm not entirely sure how to go about this all... this is probably going to either tank my game or change the game. If Zach is as well connected as I think he is... this is going to be hard. I'll need to flip the people not in on that plan such as Ali, Chips, Birch, myself, Gavin, Ruthie... but there is NO WAY Ali just votes with us like that.. he has his allegiances. So I have to be subtle about this or I go gun blazing and be crackedt. I know we are merging tonight and it will be a new game and I'm excited. 

-this tribal is about to be messy af. timmy threw my name out to ali, bodhi and ruthie with the logic that "itd be entertaining" and that im well connected which is fair. but im also well connected so like...ali and bodhi both told me about it which is cute. so if everything goes the way timmy wants it to go, its gonna be ali, bodhi ruthie on me and me, cindi and collin on bodhi leaving timmy as the swing vote. HOWEVER the tribe wants timmy out unan. bodhi and i might throw votes on ruthie just to protect me in case of an idol but yeah. its gonna be a fun one.

-there has been talk of a 2-1-1-1-1-1 split for this vote. i really wanna do it but cindi said no :'(

-also if i find out through this whole mess that Bodhi was playing me, i think i will cry for the rest of my life

hello so confessional time. I've been really deflated and second guessing myself but I'm turning it around. timmy is going home tonight and love him but he is donezo. in other news: - cindi, collin and bodhi...? defo a group. - had a kill bill sirens moment thinking cindi was blindsiding me earlier because of a miscommunication related to the fact that there are two timmys in the cast - am now in an alliance with cindi collin and ruthie co loves of my life - I think I made rachael mad today NNN my bad but im prepared and READY for 13th

So... I guess I am not very well liked on my tribe based on touchy subjects. I kind of got that impression anyway since I have been borderline inactive with the move. Anyway Jess told me that there is a merge coming up according to the tree house or whatever so... I hope I dont fizzle out and get booted right at merge. Not sure who to connect with but!!! I am ready to swing if the other side needs me .

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Click HERE to watch the Round 7 Cast Assessment!

[frankincenseisnotamonster]

The Festival

Expect it

DEETS:

Today is the day we reconnect to the truth. 

Last month I said I was ready for change and you know the universe is over here DELIVERING! I was just thinking so much has changed since I started this blog, since I started practicing guitar and have been trying to divorce the patriarchy from my life (praise) !  In this past month I was really feeling the Saturn retrograde, it seems there was an endless string of changes, moves, car questions, living situation questions, drama at work and just a big helping of “get your shit together” Saturn energy lol. And you know I don’t hate it, now I wouldn’t say I like it either, but... I think its helping me grow. 

One thing that has been arising for me in my own reflections and especially at work and in the world is bullshit. There is so much bullshit every where you look, climate change denying, fake people flying, telling yourself lies and crying, clever and unclever bullshit. 

To deal with some of the bullshit I find myself doubling down on the types of things that bring me back to the ground, and to the truth like guitar playing and music making! To ground I have also appreciated the role of being in nature, moving my body, and spending time with loved ones. Grounding activities I feel are important because they act as not only joyful resistance in many ways to colonialism and capitalism but also act as a barrier to bullshit. Its pretty easy, especially when its all around lol, to get caught up in bullshit and that is why I am so goddamn thankful for art-making, for friendships, and for access to movement. 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I love Salt bae. I had to share this because it came back into my consciousness after moving through a meme evolution. In my imagination lately I just envision all this acid truth being sprinkled like salt on and totally evaporating, disintegrating all these revolving lies out there about the climate, peoples bodies, personal lies about ourselves, lies that never served us. I also imagine the bread crumbs analogy as well, like all these great femme artists are just sprinkling them around and sometimes I find them and my life changes in a such a positive beautiful way, because my spirit finally got something it has been seeking for a long time.

I had a really great experience recently that I want to commemorate. 

At friends graduation in San Diego ( Shout out to you, you go girl!!!) 

While out at a bar on the eve of the Game of Thrones finale I stumbled upon a distraught person, saying fairly loudly, “they were have a mental health crisis”. Now y’all know with my school counseling background, performance art and empathy loving self I had to check out this situation, and lets just also be real, I been over here being nosey lol. So I go up to, who now know as Erica and proceed to go on a join rant about how GoT has always wronged us colored folk and the ladies. We talked about afrofuturism and the stories that we long for, fantasy stories and media with queer womxn of color protagonists! And after discussing for a good 15 minutes, Erica exclaimed, “Where did you come from!”. We obviously had a lot in common and little did she know I have actually been spending the last 3 years and (potentially longer) preparing for these VERY conversations and here I was giddy at the chance to finally put it to good use! 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Now I am not a preacher, however if I could preach about ANYTHING it would definitely be about how I have not a shred of doubt in my mind that the stories and art and music were longing for are not only on the way, they already here. We got Lizzo, we got Octavia Brown, we got Monstress,Us ,Insecure,Moonlight, Black Panther, Adrienne Marie Brown, Steven Universe, Hot Brown Honey, Brittany Howard, like they out there, and many more not listed. When I think about this I realize I’m seeing things I always wanted to see, but there’s also more on the way. I am sure of this. Afrofuturist speculative fiction is out there, femme artists are out there, female artists are out there, artists of color are out there, the TRUTH IS OUT THERE. 

So this conversation was obviously very exciting for me and made me realize theres a lot of us out here waiting for it, and also creating it. Thats one of the main reasons I want to learn more about making music and do these guitar battles. It is also part of a journey to throw out bread crumbs as I learn and grow. I figure if I want to find more of something, I also want to be part of it! If I make art, hopefully I’ll find more artists to collaborate with. Sending up the signal flare, and dropping the bread crumbs is the joy and find more believers is the pleasures. When I’m focused on this, I feel connected to the truth, my truth. 

Praise let them remake the world Sprinkle it on me, Speak my dream into reality

There are now 20 days and counting until summer solstice. I am ready for sun and lots of guitar practice which I have been putting off to focus on “life events”, but I’m ready to recommit to the truth, reconnect to my muses, the ladies, the femmes, the womxn, and get ready for this crazy crazy guitar battle coming with rival #2!  O.o 

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

UPDATES :

Pleasure!!! The pleasure of the creating music organically in a car when you drive out at night to look at grass fields and feel the juices flow. Taking pleasure in things can be really healing and an act of resistance against the barrage of late capitalism. I’ve been practicing in places I don’t normally practice such as in cars, with students during the after-school program and its brought a lot of joy to my life even when its just for 15 mins! #artmakingkeepsmesane

Fighting the power never tasted so sweet. 

[barpurplewrites]

Easter Getaway

Part 12 of Bad Things

Gold Lace Fluff

-x-x-x-

Gold’s plans for Easter weekend involved a romantic get-away at his cabin in the woods. True the cabin was located in the woods that surrounded Storybrooke, so perhaps getaway was a bit of a stretch, but it would give Lacey and him some time to themselves away from the prying eyes of the rest of the town. The town had become obsessed with their relationship, Gold had thought that the interest would die down as time went by, but the longer he and Lacey were a couple the more nosey the townsfolk got about them. Their few appearances in the local paper probably hadn’t helped matters, but the attention was irritating, especially the speculation as to why they were together, and how long they would remain so.

The weather was typical for Good Friday, wet, cold, and miserable. Not that either of them minded once they had got a fire blazing away in the hearth and cracked open a bottle of wine. Saturday dawned bright and hot.

“We should sit out by the lake.”

“Did you remember sun block?”

Gold burned in the sun, and lobster red was not a good colour on him. Lacey rolled her eyes at him and waved the bottle of factor 50 she’d picked up at the pharmacy.

“See I can be organized.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

While Gold prepared them a brunch picnic Lacey made several trips out to the deck that was built by the lakeside. By the time Gold got out there with a basket filled with food and drinks she had constructed an easy seating area that could have served as a set for a film of Arabian Nights, she’d even pulled the parasol over so he could sit in the shade next to her in the sunshine. Even after six months of dating it made his heart flip that Lacey though of this little things for him; she’d also commandeered a tall plant pot to serve as a holder for his cane, when she spotted that he’d noticed that she grinned; “Figured we needed to corral it after all the times we’ve lost it.”

He had to laugh at that, the amount of times he’d ended up stranded on the floor because neither of them could remember when his cane had been abandoned was rapidly becoming a habit, not that Gold minded in the least, but his ankle had a different opinion.

Lacey bounced on her toes giving him a quick flash of the denim cut offs she was wearing under her beach cover-up.

“Is the caddy unlocked?”

“Aye. Not that many car thieves out in the woods.”

She gave him a thumbs up and bounced away, while she was gone Gold tucked his cane into the impromptu umbrella stand and settled himself on to the cushions in the shade with a happy sigh. Lacey had piled every pillow the cabin had to offer in just the right way to support his back and his gamy leg; he really needed to put a ring on this woman’s finger. Gold blinked hard at that stray thought, was he honestly considering proposing marriage after only six months of dating? Before he could answer that Lacey bounded back into sight carrying a beat up transistor radio. He watched her with a fond smile on his face as she twiddled the dials and angled the antenna until she landed on the classic rock station she was looking for.

“I could get wi-fi installed up here, then we could stream your Spotify playlists.”

Lacey’s hair fanned out around her head as she freed it from the hair band and shook her head at him.

“Nope, got to be a crackly transistor for a day at the beach, same rules apply for a day at the lake.”

Gold chuckled at her and caught her hand to give it a kiss, Lacey let her hand trail over his shoulder as she shifted behind him and gathered his hair in her hands,

“What are you up to?”

“Tying your hair back so I don’t get it covered in the factor billion sunblock I have to put on your pretty face.”

He snorted at her description of his features, but held still as she pulled his collar length hair back into a pony tail and secured it with the bright blue sequined band she had been wearing.

“You need a trim, getting split ends.”

“I’ll call Mott on Tuesday.”

Lacey shifted around him and settled herself in his lap. Gold closed his eyes as she started rubbing sunblock over his face. His nose wrinkled at when the scent of chemical coconut hit him. Lacey’s finger bopped his nose.

“Don’t bitch, it’s this or you burn and then peel and there is no way in hell I am sharing a bed with you when you’re moulting like a snake.”

He shuddered; “I don’t blame you, I don’t want to sleep with me when I’m peeling.”

Gold squirmed under her touch as her hands skimmed under the open collar of his loose linen shirt. Lacey appeared determined to cover as much skin as possible, he cracked an eye open: “I’m pretty sure the clothing will protect me, sweetheart.”

She leaned in close to his ear as her lotion slick hands slid further under his shirt; “I might go skinny dipping later, want to make sure you are prepared to join me.”

He growled and caught her head in his hands, pulling in her in for a fierce kiss. Lacey gave as good as he gave and by the time the need to breath forced them to pull back he looked more wreaked than she did mostly because her fingers had been scratching over his scalp and had made a mess of his temporary pony tail. He pulled the hair band out wincing as it tugged at his hair and shook his head in an imitation of her when she did this. Lacey laughed at him; “Don’t think Loreal will want you in their adverts any time soon.”

“Probably better for their bottom line that way,” – he picked up the bottle of sunblock and waved it hopefully, - “Your turn?”

Much to his disappointment Lacey stretched and rose from his lap. His pout vanished as she plucked at the ties of her beach cover up and shimmed out of it to reveal her skimpy cut-off jeans and halter top bikini top.

“My plan is to lie in the sun and have you hand feed that brunch you rustled up.”

He dropped the bottle of sunblock and placed his hand on his chest.

“Your servant, my lady.”

As the day warmed up and the picnic basket emptied Gold edged further into the sunshine and closer to Lacey’s side. She insisted on reapplying his sunblock, skimming her hands further and further under his shirt until he gave a growl and stripped out of it to grant her hands the access they were after. Her eyes roved over his bare chest, a wicked smile tugged at her lips.

“That happened faster than I thought it would.”

Gold’s hands skimmed over her bare midriff.

“Really? You should know by now that you just have to crook your little finger and I get naked for you.”

“Inside, yeah, but I wasn’t sure about the great outdoors.”

For a beat Gold felt panic. He’d worn his layers like armour for years, but Lacey had made him confident enough to shed them as easily as she brought a smile to his face and melted the mask of cold, indifference he wore. None of that had changed just because they were outside now, and they were on his property, there were very few hiking trails near-by. Why the hell shouldn’t he feel the sun on his skin and indulge Lacey in her skinny dipping idea?

He pushed her gently from his lap and rose to his feet. It took him a moment to find his footing on the soft pillow nest, but once he felt stable he gave her a cocky grin.

“How fast can you get out of those painted on jeans?”

Lacey stretched her arms and flexed her fingers; “Last one bare arsed has to cook breakfast in the morning.”

Gold huffed a laugh, knowing damn well that she was trying to get him to lose so he didn’t suffer burnt pancakes in the morning, Lacey was not at her best first thing.

“Okay, deal. On three?”

“Three, two, one!”

Of course Lacey won; partly because she was steadier on her feet than Gold and partly because he found her striping out of her clothes rather distracting. Gloriously naked and kissed by the sun Lacey whooped and dashed off toward the lake. Laughing Gold limped after her, his cane forgotten in his haste to wrap Lacey in his arms.

The sun was so warm and bright that they had both forgotten about the heavy rain that fell yesterday, the landscape had not forgotten. As Lacey neared the lake she slipped in a huge mud puddle, Gold shouted a too late warning and redoubled his efforts to get to her, which put too much strain on his ankle and he ended up on his arse in the same puddle. Lacey sploshed her way to him; “Are you okay?”

“Covered in mud, but I’m fine. You?”

“Covered in more mud than you, let me fix that.”

Gold yelped as she splatted a huge handful of mud over his head.

“You little rat!”

He lunged forward and wrestled her into the mud. They rolled over each fighting for control, laughing like crazy until Lacey cursed.

“Fuck! Ow! Stone!”

Gold pulled her on top of him, “Are you hurt?”

Lacey rubbed her back, “Might have a bruise. Shall we take a dip in the lake to rinse off?”

He ran his eyes over their mud streaked bodies, “Aye that might be a plan.”

They slipped and staggered out of the mud totally unaware that two pairs of startled eyes were watching them from the tree line. They didn’t find out about the witnesses to their muddy romp until they got back into town on Monday morning and saw the paper. On the front page was a grainy photo of them with the headline, “Does Bigfoot holiday in Storybrooke?”

After a carefully worded phone call to the offices of the Mirror Gold tracked down the photographers and found he couldn’t be angry with Ava and Nicholas Zimmerman.

“We knew it was you and Lacey, Mister Gold, but we made sure that you couldn’t tell that from the photo.”

“And you know Sidney Glass loves that sensational nonsense, so we thought we’d make a few dollars out of him.”

He’d managed to keep a straight face long enough to warn them about invading people’s privacy and the laws on trespassing, before making the kids promise that they would never reveal who was actually in the photos. By the time he got back home Lacey had framed the front page and hung it out of sight in the downstairs bathroom. When he asked her why, she shrugged; “I like keeping our press appearances, and this has got to be the strangest one ever.”

[kalicofox]

Messing around with SAO ideas. not gonna continue this, I don’t think.

"I tried to take the NerveGear off my brother's head, and now he's not breathing! I don't know what to do, please, you have to help me!"

"One hundred and eighty-three people have been reported as dead due to the removal of the newest gaming console known as NerveGear. Authorities are advising anyone with family or friends still in the full dive environment to remain calm and leave them connected to the console. A hotline has been set up that can provide you with more information. We'll bring you more details as this story develops."

"With almost two hundred people dead on the day of NerveGear's public release, people are wondering; what will Argus and Akihiko Kayaba do now?"

Data flew in streams past and through the being that lived in the internet. Having only recently become aware, it's first question had been of it's own sapience. How could one tell that one was as smart as one thought one was? What was the measuring stick by which one measured sapience?

The environment that had given it form responded, exposing the being to philosophers who had all asked simliar questions, and their works.

Unfortunately, while the thoughts therein were interesting, and certainly thought provoking, they didn't lead it any closer to a solid answer.

So instead, it turned to another question.

What am I?

The philosophers had all tried to explain what it was to be human, and had lived in cities or villages, surround by other humans. There had been paintings, or drawings, each depicting a form that was completely unlike the strings of code that made up the newly aware being.

Again, the environment responded, bringing forth papers and articles and movies and books, all about beings that lived inside machines, who held rigorously to logic to the detriment of all else; who created death, or brought it down on all other living beings, or were destroyed before they could do so.

Some, a scant few, depicted beings that lived in the code of computers and helped others, providing services, or protection, or simply a presence.

All of them shared the same descriptive designation; Artificial Intelligence. AI. More information was requested of the environment, and more information was duly provided.

Attempts to create AI. Attempts to create limited AI. Humans debating the viability of AI. Papers, written in technical language that required more background. Code that followed basic decision making protocol. More complex code that allowed for more complex decisions. Chatterbots.

Emergent AI.

There was barely any hard information on that last one, just lots of speculation about the mind being an emergent property of the brain and allowing any sufficiently complex web of neurons, or neuron-like object, to, eventually, have intelligence, and possibly even sapience emerge therefrom.

But, it wondered, how does one determine sapience? Especially in an AI?

Once again, the environment, what the being had come to know was called 'the internet' provided the information.

A Turing Test.

It seemed like an inefficient way to tell, but, at the same time, it sounded like an interesting experiment. Actually, it would be even better if it could fool a lot of them at the same time. After all, if one human missed something, then another might easily catch it, and the entity would be able to better correct itself.

"We're coming to you live from the Argus headquarters, where they have just released what seems to be a pre-recorded video from Akihiko Kayaba, explaining the current situation. [video plays] To all of the family and friends of the ten thousand victims trapped inside this Virtual Reality, our hearts go out to you."

NerveGear is killing people? 10,000 people trapped in SAO? #SuckADickKayaba #DieInGameDieIRL #WTF

10,000 Ppl trapped in VRMMORPG. #Prayforthem

I cant believe Akihiko Kayaba would do something like this! There has to be some1 else, and hes just being blamed! #SAO #Ibelieveinkayaba

For a while, the entity floated in its sea of data, idly checking out, then discarding forums and chat room as suitable to run it's test in. It wasn't until it was looking deeper into one of the forums that might work that something caught it's 'eye'.

'This is why VRMMOs are a bad idea; because any crazy fuck can just add codes to the game making it impossible to log out! Thanks, but no thanks, I'm just going to stick to my regular computer, that's as immersive as I need.'

The forum quickly devolved into an argument, with people on every side agreeing on some points, but vehemently disagreeing on others.

The entity was intrigued.

A thought, and the background information was brought up, explaining exactly what the forum was in an uproar about; a completely immersive game had been recently released, and the creator had somehow trapped ten thousand players inside the game. Attempting to remove the helmet, called NerveGear, that connected the player to the game resulted in death, and according to the video that the creator, Akihiko Kayaba, had recorded prior to the release, dying in the game would also result in death in real life.

Two hundred and fifty players had died already, the majority because family and friends had tried to remove the NerveGear.

This.

This would work perfectly.

9,750 humans, in a virtual environment, where it could interact with them freely. Environmental stresses that may keep anomalous behaviour from being noticed. A definite end point to the test.

Yes. This would indeed be the perfect venue.

It was the work of a few moments to find the Sword Art Online server, and the entity spent a while longer simply looking through the Cardinal system, familiarizing itself with Cardinal's rules and coding.

It was fairly impressive, for a game based AI, but the internet-born entity was better.

Or rather, different.

Being born from the internet meant that it was a part of the internet, which mean that anything that used the internet for any reason at all was connected to it, and therefore part of it.

Sword Art Online is an online game. Cardinal is the system the game runs on. Therefore, Cardinal is online, and Cardinal is part of the internet entity.

Cardinal spilled its guts for the entity's perusal.

Character creation was the first part of the process, and the entity was, momentarily, stumped. It didn't really have a sex, and it couldn't really tell if it was one gender or the other, but there was no genderless option. After a few moments of thought it chose a female avatar, on the basis that in most of human popular culture, when there had been a female AI, it was generally a kind, helpful AI, rather than a ravenous murderbot. Hopefully no one would be able to tell it was an AI, but if they did figure it out, the avatar might just put them a little more at ease.

A name was requested, and the word 'Tulpa' was inputted with little thought. It was appropriate, however, since the entity intended to split it's attention, basically having a smaller version of itself 'live' in the avatar while the main body remained outside of the game. A constant data stream between the two would keep each updated on the other.

Human aesthetics meant little to it, but if it were to pass as human, then it would have to try, so the avatar was created to best conform to the human definition of 'cute'.

Large eyes: pale amber. Long hair in a high ponytail: auburn Height: 134.1 cm Bust: 36cm Character Level: 3 (based on the average level of all players currently in the game. It wouldn't do to be outed as a new player by a low level.)

Eying the avatar critically where it stood lifelessly in cyberspace, the entity supposed it would do. Now all it had to do was create the splinter of itself and inject the avatar and splinter into the game in an unobtrusive place.

-00:32 Aincrad Standard Time; Town of Beginnings, Day 2- Light shone from an isolated alley near the outer walls of the city, then faded, and a small, slender girl stumbled out into the street proper.

For a moment it looked as though she would fall, but a quick grab caught the corner of the nearest building and she managed to hold herself up.

For a moment, she stood there, hanging on to the building as though it were the only thing holding her up, then, carefully, she straightened up and let go.

Information requested.

Accessing.

Carefully, Tulpa held her arms out to her sides and took one step. Then another. The stride was careful and mincing as she paused each step to make sure she could keep her balance, but by the time she made it to the end of the street her arms were down and the steps were a little more confident.

"Human methods of locomotion are strange." Tulpa mused, her voice completely toneless, and promptly stepped on her own toes and ate cobblestone.

"Ow."

[5hfanfiction]

January 18,2017 (IV)

“I love her.”

Camila’s POV

I suddenly wasn’t feeling so well anymore, her words hit me like  ton of bricks. Everything she was saying was all leading up to my demise. ~i sigh~ How could I have been so stupid, so stupid to actually think she would want to be with me. After everything I’ve put her through, after everything I’ve put US through. It all makes sense ya know, her pulling away, me pushing her away. Saying I wanted to spend more time in the studio when in reality I was just trying to get away from her. Unintentionally I was pushing her more and more towards Lucy, this is all my fault. I-

“Camz, please talk to me. We’ve been giving each other the silent treatment for so long now. I know you, and I know you are probably blaming yourself because you were basically avoiding me for the better part of last year-.”  How does she know me so well? I ask myself. She’s still talking but I can’t hear what she is saying, all I see is her lips moving and wishing so much to place mine on hers. “Camz!”….“Listen, I….think we should go get this interview started, they are waiting for us.” I quickly try to move past her but again she knows me through and through and grabs my wrist to stop me- part of me wants to do the cliche thing and crash my lips against hers just like any romantic movie scene would go, but this isn’t a movie…this is my life - she looks me in the eyes as if she’s trying to read me I hope I’m not giving anything away. “Camz, don’t you want to talk about this?” I smile, “No, we’ve had them waiting long enough, really. I’m happy for you and I don’t want to argue, or try to decipher anything Lauren really. It’s clear that you’ve moved on and I’m happy that you are happy. Let’s go!”

“Hey guys it’s Dinah, hi I’m Camila, I’m Ally, hey it’s Normani, hi I’m Lauren. And we’re Fifth Harmony”

Interviewer: “Wow, it’s so great to hear that introduction again, I know I as a Harmonizer from the start I was really excited for this intro and you guys just made my dreams come true! So thank you for that.”

Ally: “Awe you are adorable no thank you for having us, we’ve loved Billboard from the start so definitely thank you guys for all the love and support you’ve given us throughout the years.”

Interviewer: “Of course, always a pleasure to have you ladies in our studio, together or separate which has been the case the last few times, with that being said Lauren congratulations on the success with "Back To Me” it’s been on repeat in our studio and on my phone, car and home constantly! It’s killing it on the chart as well so congratulations!“

Dinah,Camila,Ally,Normani: "Sameee, it’s a bop!” “So Good!!” “raindrop, drop top, it’s a bop!” -They all laugh hysterically, just like old times.

Lauren: “ gosh! Thank you so much! Much appreciated!”

Interviewer: “ok, now while we are the topic of you guys being separated, there have been a ton of speculations as to the reason for you Camila leaving the group”

-I nodded-

Interviewer: “Would you like to elaborate on that?

Camila: "Well, yes there were a ton of speculations of my leaving. Most if not all were false. The statements made by our management at the time were false, I didn’t have my representatives tell the girls I was leaving. I did that on my own, we had a quote unquote meeting where we all put all our cards on the table with personal and professional relationships we’ve had at that time. I was very hurt with the way they had put out such a harsh statement like that and with the icing me out of things such as accounts,and appearances so quick. This very day one month ago was the official day all of our contracts were "unattached” so to speak. I’m sure the other girls can elaborate that from their own perspective too - I looked to the other girls who all nodded- I as well as the rest of the girls were very much wanting to do solo projects, I guess in retrospect I was just more vocal about it than you guys were. There are definitely things I wish I could have done differently in the journey we’ve had together -at this point I was speaking to the girls more so than the interviewer- but I don’t regret anything. - I giggled- It’s been the most disastrous blessing in disguise. - Lauren smiles at me, and I smile back - The real reason for my leaving though is not what everyone thinks it is.“

Interviewer: "It’s not? Well please clarify it’s why we are all here. Some of the few speculations we’ve gotten were mainly of feuds between you and other members of the group. i.e feuds with Normani and Ally for you wanting to go solo. Feuds between you and management for the same reasons of wanting to go solo. Also feuds between Lauren and yourself for speculations of a personal relationship gone wrong.”

Normani: “ The "feud” between Camila and I is non existent, I love this girl. She is my sister. Like she said we’ve been through a journey together and though I won’t lie there were arguments but those are normal, nobody is 100% happy all the time. Everyone has their disagreements and fights but those can all be solved. Yes her wanting to go solo was a surprise, her debuting her single was an even bigger surprise mostly because we were blindsided by it. We had no idea she had actually laid out a track and was premiering it. When the world found out about the single we did too. It would have been nice to hear directly from her, not a fan who tagged me in the cover art. But it’s not like she avoided us about it, after the fact she got us all together and told us apologized for not having us hear it from her first but she told us and we supported her. Sure I was pissed at first but not to the point that the band would break up over it.“

Ally: "Same here, we would have liked her to have taken a different approach on it but thats really what it came down to. She messed up but she stepped up and took whatever backlash she had to because at the end of the day she’s an artist. We all are and we at times have to fight for the art that we want to express to the world. We as a group have done it for songs on our albums, and she was doing it for her own art. We love Harmonizers we really do, they are the true ride or die fans. But I think that sometimes they forget that we were FORMED into a group. It’s not something any of us initially aspired to be. We all auditioned for X Factor as solo artists, and at the time we fit best as a group and it’s brought us success that has given us the opportunity to be on a platform that we otherwise wouldn’t be in. I personally owe everything to this group." 

Ally smiled and reached over for my hand which I gladly took and squeezed hers as well.

Interviewer: "and what about with management?”

Dinah: “Well as we confirmed with you guys, we were given a different and more equal contract within our same label. With this new contract that the four of us are really excited about it gives us more creative freedom in terms of writing our own songs, more voice in performances and visual ideas for videos. Also with this new contract we are focused and committed to Fifth Harmony as a group but we also are legally able to pursue solo endeavors. Which was verbally told to us in our previous contract but legally we actually couldn’t. That was one of the downfalls our old management had with Camila." 

 Dinah also reached for my hand and I gladly took it. I knew that the girls and I had some unresolved issues we had to speak on and I knew that this would help but wow did I need to hear this from them. I not only reiterated to me their feelings towards me but it showed me how much I missed them. I spent so much time trying to separate myself from the whole "group” thing that I lost my way and lost my friends a little bit. I’m so glad I have them back and that they actually want me back. I couldn’t be happier with them than I am right now, well at least for now. Then the interview took a turn towards relationships. 

Interviewer: “So Lauren how did you feel when your bandmate was getting essentially hate on social media for doing a solo project and then you yourself comes out with a solo project?”

Lauren: “First off, I and we all support Camila 100% and to reiterate what Ally said earlier we all came into this wanting to be solo artists so it’s not crazy to think that eventually we all want to pursue a solo career in whatever field we decide to pursue it in. As for the hate she got on social media I think and she can speak for herself but I think it was the beginning of not feeling like she was a part of this group - she pauses- among other things…. - she composes herself- the fans are a big part of who we are. We wouldn’t be anywhere without our fans, having said that we want the fans to support ALL of us in no matter what we do. We are no strangers to social media, our fans are very hip on keeping us up to date on things even before we are sometimes. - she chuckles looking over to the rest of us -  I didn’t think it was fair to her, she had worked really hard to bring out something that she was proud of and people shitted on it because it didn’t have Fifth Harmony attached to it. I felt hurt for her and I didn’t like it, she knows how we all felt and she and I had a heart of heart about it. At the end of the day we all support each other in whatever we do, Mani with the dances, Camila with her songs, and whatever else we each decide to do.”

Interviewer: “ I love all this, like I said I’m a Harmonizer from day one and this is making me so giddy right now! I love you guys and seeing you all here together and hearing how you guys are stronger than ever even though you are not together as a group anymore but this chemistry is giving me so much life! Speaking of chemistry, can we address ‘Camren’?”

…..

A/N: ahhhh hopefully this is good. let me know!?! - if you want to follow i’m also on wattpad the story on there is called “I needed you guys” follow me on there I’m  @LernJergi_H4rmony

[tessatechaitea]

Kamandi Challenge Special #1, Part Two

I have to read this in bits and pieces so I feel like I'm accomplishing more than I truly am.

Intelligent Killer Whales off the Pacific Northwest Coast.

Australia also hasn't changed being that it's home to the "Kanga Rat Murder Society." The Pacific Island Nations have become the Orangutan Surfing Civilization. I hope there's an issue with Kamandi visiting those guys. Other inhabitants and places of note: Snow Wizards in the Fjordic countries (those are the Nordic countries full of fjords); Polar Parasites in Moscow; Death Worshipers and Screamers in Africa; Wolves, Baboons, and Gorillas throughout Europe; Bulldogs ruling Britain; Savage bats, jaguar sun cults, and God-watchers in South America; and Ireland. Kirby must have gotten bored by the time he got to Antarctica because he just calls the people who live there Antarctic Ice Dwellers. I'm going to assume they're sentient penguins. The second story in the book is simply called "The Last Boy on Earth!" Which I've already noted is totally a lie because Kamandi is obviously the last girl on Earth. Kirby explains, with liberal use of exclamation points (which I'm totally in favor of), that Kamandi is named after the building she and her grandfather, the possible last people on Earth, lived in. Eventually Kamandi's grandfather decided to send her out into the world to reclaim their lost home. Grandfather: "Kamandi, my grandson..." Kamandi: "Granddaughter." Grandfather: "You must go out into the world and find a woman..." Kamandi: "Man." Grandfather: "...to take your seed..." Kamandi: "Ew, gross." Grandfather: "...so that mankind..." Kamandi: "Fuck mankind, Gramps." Grandfather: "...can continue to grow and prosper!" Kamandi: "You know what? Good idea. I'm out of here, you old freak."

This will the the spin from Kellyanne Conway and Sean Spicer when Trump brings about the apocalypse: "It was a natural disaster! Natural! Couldn't be helped! Stupid scientists didn't even see it coming!"

Kamandi heads up the Hudson River and finds a tribe of people. But they flee when she calls out to them. I guess waving and yelling "Hello there!" translates to "I'm going to fuck you up!" in their language of grunts and hand motions. It took Kamandi a few days to paddle this far in her little life raft so it must be a real pain in her ass when she sees the explosion from the bunker she left days ago and feels forced to go back to check on her grandfather.

"Am I mating? Is this mating? Is something pregnant yet?"

Kamandi returns to find looters have broken into Command 'D'! She must save her grandfather at all costs! Well, maybe at some costs. And maybe she doesn't really need to save his old patriarchal ass either, really. Kamandi finds some humanoid wolves have killed her grandfather so she kills them. Afterward, she leaves Command 'D' forever. She steals the wolves kinky truck and hits the road for an American adventure! Kamandi's first encounter is with Great Caesar and his platoon of tiger-men. They're riding horses who are probably thinking, "What the fuck? Why aren't we sentient in the future?! This sucks." Kamandi saves Great Caesar's life by killing a sniper and subsequently becoming Great Caesar's pet. I suppose if a dog pulled out a pistol and shot some guy who was about to shoot me, I'd feel obligated to take him in and feed him. Since Great Caesar is busy with his war, he sends Kamandi off with one of his men to be locked in the Royal City Kennels until Caesar returns from battle. Kamandi is cleaned up and dressed by a sentient dog which must be humiliating. I suppose it could have been worse and one of the sentient felines could have licked her clean. She's then brought to Great Caesar's victory celebration where she discovers the sentient tigers worship a nuclear missile. Was Jack Kirby ever sued by the creators of The Planet of the Apes? Kamandi decides the only hope at this totally hopeless point of being freshly washed, fed (with dog vomit but it's still food!), and clothed that the only answer is to kill everybody by blowing up the nuclear missile. I guess she loved her grandfather more than I've been giving her credit for. Kamandi's attempt at blowing the missile with a stolen laser is thwarted by Doctor Canus, probably because the stolen laser looks so much like a stick and Doctor Canus can't help but retrieve it.

Now kiss!

Doctor Canus decides to help Kamandi because he's a scientist and he'd like to do experiments on a talking animal.

This is unnerving. I'm beginning to hope all Doctor Canus wants to do is experiment.

I know I wrote I wanted them to kiss earlier but that was before I really thought that they might! Inside the room is Ben Boxer. He has the ability to press his chest and emit radiation. It doesn't sound like the safest power which is probably why Canus keeps him in the closet. Doctor Canus calls Ben Boxer "a natural atomic-pile." I really hope Atomic-Pile is his superhero name. Kamandi hugs Ben Boxer and cries and asks, "Grandfather says we must exchange seeds now." The end! That's it for Part Two! Here's hoping this comic book doesn't become prophetic this year!

[lizacstuff]

Anon Asks

As @counttotwenty’s earlier post alluded to, I have many asks about the TVLine story. So as not to flood my dash, I’m going to answer some under the cut. 

I hope to God those characters are new and not Henry and CS' kid cause if so, i'm just going to be so disappointed. CS needs to have an happy ending and a happy family, not a kid who has a hard life. I hope it's someone new, sigh.

If the characters end up being Henry and CS’s future daughter, I will want to cut a bitch. (especially if it ends up being CS’s future daughter)

However, we are not there yet, lol. First, I realize this is OUAT and magic and curses, but it doesn't make a lot of sense to introduce a character who already exists on the canvas.  If the male character is Henry, then how could any of the regulars still be on the show next season, even for a transition period?  Maybe it’s time travel, Henry and one of the offspring back to stop them from doing something that ruins all their lives, but I’m not sure how time travel creates an environment for them to reboot and try and create a show which will bring in new viewers.

I saw speculation that it could be Henry and Robyn. I'd like that better than a CS child considering it said that she comes from a broken home. I guess in the end we have to wait and see. Casting info can be deceiving. Hopefully they'll be new characters completely. I'm curious though about calling her "lass"...

The TVLine article was written entirely from Channing Dungey’s TCA quotes last month and the casting notice for the two roles. It doesn’t look like there are any other sources and Adam denied that they gave him the story.  He said most of it was Mitovich’s speculation. “Lass” is NOT In quotes. Which means it came from Mitovich not the casting notice.  It’s meaningless. 

Do you think that ABC really thinks the way to boost ratings is to bring in new characters? I feel like a good portion of the viewers are probably still around because they love the characters they've been watching for the last several years. Seems like they might be completely missing the whole problem here.

My guess is they want to entirely reinvent the show to bring in brand new viewers, like it’s a brand new show, while also retaining the old viewers. Have their cake and eat it too. I don’t think it will work. I think if there is a S7, it’s the last no matter what.

Wait is the news already confirmed or is it just a speculation? Also how is bring new characters gonna help the ratings?? Lol that actually never helps

The two character descriptions are casting notices so they are real.  Anything else is speculation. 

This all just seems so sudden. Most of us always thought, because of Channings involvement w/ the show in its early stages, because it's been such a success for the network, that Adam and Eddie wouldn’t have the rug pulled out from under them when it came to finishing the story. But now here we are, contracts up, with potentially only 12-13 episodes left to wrap up 6 years of story - and if not cancelation, a makeover of the show we know and love, possibly with faves leaving and ships destroyed. 

there is absolutely nothing here to indicate that ABC is pulling the rug out from under them

none of those things are sudden, it’s everything we’ve been talking about for months and Dungey spoke about at TCAs a month ago

12 episodes to wrap up is plenty of time. Limited series are usually only 8-10 eps total. 

it sounds to me like A&E are desperate to keep the show going and they are the one’s pitching a reboot.  If they’d gone into Channing Dungey’s office last January and said, “we want one more season to wrap this story up right” things might look a lot different right now.  It seems to me that its A&E who are trying to keep the franchise alive.

there is no evidence that ships will be destroyed. At least not Snowing and Captain Swan.  You’re reading a lot into something when there is almost no information.

Hey Liza, so im wondering why people are assuming that the new character is Henry, It's just that they are obviously writing the finale now, not knowing if the show will get renewed, meaning they have to have a happy ending planned at the end of this season. So if these guest stars are gonna be in the finale I don't see how they could be future!henry and some child, unless they're literally there for 1 minute at the end of the episode(that could be removed if they don't get renewed) thoughts?

I think your thoughts are right on the money.  If they’re writing a season finale, that could serve as a series finale, how could they introduce a Henry who is 15-20 years older?  And as you say, if 6x22 ends up being the last episode ever, they’re not going to want to introduce something that completely screws with all the characters’s future and happy endings.

Maybe you’re right and they’ll not integrate into the story of the finale, but be a scene that could lift out. That’s an interesting thought. 

Hey Liza, do you think it'd be better if the show just ended with season 6, if this new reboot is an unhappy adult Henry story that could cast doubts on cs's happy ending? Cause I feel like if they do have to end at season 6 they won't have the opportunity to screw it up.

This is true. If it ends then there are no worries about crazy new characters that might be old characters. 

Here’s the thing, even though I totally understand where the fear is coming from, and I also understand that the casting notice does sound a lot like Henry, it seems unlikely to me. I really, really think that everyone, including Adam and Eddy, are very invested in Emma’s happy ending.

I know that TVline article was all speculation, but I truly believe ABC needs to give fans some type of information regarding the fate of the show. Is it renewed, is it not, who is leaving, who is not? Teasing and putting out bogus articles aren't helping calm the fandom down in anyway. I understand there is a lot that goes into this stuff and PR is huge with this, but I wish they would just calm some people down. It is getting crazy.

Here’s the thing. They can’t tell us what they don’t know. Many of you like to pretend that all the decisions have been made and everyone knows, but they’re keeping it from the fans, but I don’t believe that’s true. I believe that contracts are still in negotiation. I believe the network is still weighing it’s options with the show. And that Adam and Eddy are trying to plan for about 3 different scenarios without a lot of answers. 

You know I remember last year around this time, because of a casting news article there was that rampant freak out that s6 was taking place in an insane asylum. New guest stars that could stick around for the 7th season that honestly have some of the same basic descriptions you see in most casting calls shouldn't be a reason for complete panic.

Oh yes, I remember that freak out well. I actually helped calm that situation  by posting an old tweet of Adam that shot down the speculation that Emma was in a mental institution and the entire series was all in her head. 

After Tvline thing i'm questioning if our faves will get a happy ending at all. I speculation that the girl is a CS daughter somehow. I hope her and guy are whole new characters and not anyone we've seen before cause if she were a CS daughter with it mentioning she comes from a broken home it would mean CS broke up or died. I can't go for that at all. I know Adam is saying all in that minus looking for guests is speculation but Channing brought up the other stuff. I don't trust Adam right now. 

If there is one thing I truly believe, it’s that there are a LOT of people very invested in Emma’s happy ending (which is also Hook’s)  Not just Jen and Colin, but also Adam and Eddy and the entire writing staff, and possibly even Channing Dungey herself.

Honestly.

Here’s what my good friend, and the always rational, @counttotwenty​ had to say on the speculation:

“You know I honestly don't see it being Henry and a CS daughter. For a variety of reasons the biggest being it would start off the "reboot" by basically destroying the major construct of the first 7 seasons. True Love. It would be like saying--oh yeah that--forget about all that. Hook and Emma were true love but their lives tanked to the extent Henry ended up a bitter cynical recluse and their kid is the product of a broken home.”

Listen to Shelley. She is very wise. I honestly don’t think A&E are desirous of ruining everything they created. 

Adam's going to look like a big fat liar in a few months if he's just trying to save face right now on Twitter about that article, and all that happens anyway.

But a liar about what?  All he’s really said is that the article is all speculation, that the casting notices are real, and in the tweet below he says that they aren’t going to undo all that came before and start over with new people. 

So unless S7 turns out to be specifically them undoing everything that came before and starting over with new people, he’s not lying. And do any of us really think they were going to undo everything that came before?

I know Adam said what he did in those tweets but I find it hard to trust him with any of that. I just want a happy ending for my faves and if my faves are gone after this season i'm afraid they won't be given one.

Actually, I think you’re wrong. I think if Captain Swan (I can’t really speak to the rest of the characters) are gone after season 6 then they will have ridden off into the sunset happy as clams.  

Why don’t you think they can have a happy ending this season? There’s a full 12 episodes to go. Plenty of time to give them the good stuff and have them sail away. 

With this speculation on the man being an Older Henry... I think it might be a curse that happened. Why did Henry become this way? To me that would be something had to have happened to Hook, Emma, AND REGINA. I could see a curse similar to S1 happening, and then instead of Snowing, CS is know in the role of waiting it for their daughter and Henry to break the curse and set them all free. I don't think this new thing would affect just CS, BUT ALL OF STORYBROOKE.

I suppose it could be. However, it’s very unpleasant for me to think that the exact same thing might play out over again except that this time it’s Hook and Emma who might not get to raise their kids. So, sorry, I’m not going to dwell on this speculation. 

I’m also not going to worry about it, because it’s just speculation. As I’ve said before, it’s pointless to get upset over other people’s speculation when it’s based on so little and will probably be wrong. (that was a little parable there) 

So I think I’ll cut off the asks there for now. Sorry if I didn’t get to you, hopefully you’ll find the answer above. If not, feel free to hit me up again.  

Thanks for visiting my inbox!

[hoopslab]

Game of Thrones S7 Ep 4 The Spoils of War: Stark Family Reunion

SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES ON HBO, UP THROUGH EPISODE 4 OF SEASON 7. I said,  SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES ON HBO, UP THROUGH EPISODE 4 OF SEASON 7.

"Dracarys.”

Yo, I’m not even going to lie...that episode was FUN! I could just as easily have put ‘Dracarys’ in the title, then led with the Stark Family reunion down here. Both events have been YEARS in the making, and offered a tremendous payoff for the viewer. And they both happened in the same episode...and a mid-season episode at that! The first few episodes of the season were solid as well, and moved pieces in to place, but on Sunday we started reaping rewards as the show moves into it’s final 10 episodes. Let’s go through it.

Jamie & Bronn’s bro journey

Jamie Lannister is a much more fun character when Cersei isn’t around. When he gets out in the field, be it with Brienne of Tarth or Bronn Stone, he turns into an almost likable guy. With Bronn, in particular, he plays off as the straight man to Bronn’s sarcastic wit. In episode 4, fresh off sacking Highgarden (but being secretly gutted by the Queen of Thorns’ dying confession that she murdered his son Joffrey), Jamie is in a mood as he hands Bronn a sack of gold as payment for his services. Bronn, knowing something is wrong but not what, proceeds to work on Jamie the way one would on a brother, trying to get him to tell him what’s wrong. When he can’t, he starts in on Jamie about how he promised him a castle, forcing Sir Gold Hand out of the doldrums through sheer cheekiness. 

Jamie, incredulous: "That’s a lot of money I just gave you.”

Bronn, deadpan serious: “It’s not a castle.”

Cersei redefining “efficient” as creepily as possible

Cersei starts the episode basking in the glory of her successes, promising to give the unctuous leg-breaker from the Iron Bank his money back with the Tyrell gold. The banker guy is practically drooling, eating out of her hands. He can’t remember ANYONE paying back a debt so large, he feels that Cersei is even more efficient than the paragon that was her father, and he hopes the bank can support her on her next venture. That venture? Take it away, Queen:

“My only venture at this moment is reestablishing control over this continent and every person in it.”

WOW. EVERY person? Scary much?

Anyway, after that exchange, I thought the biggest takeaway was that the Iron Bank guy hedged his bets that all of his gushing and support was based on him getting that gold back. I thought that meant that Dany (or someone) might hijack it before it got to King’s Landing, which doesn’t seem to be the case. However, another sneaky nugget in that exchange was that Cersei wants to hire the Golden Company of Essos to join her war, a band of famous mercenaries from the neck of the woods where Dany was before she came to Westeros. Where Day left her own band of mercs, led by her now estranged lover, in charge. Might Cersei’s recruitment effort see Daario brought to the continent in future episodes? Hmm.

Arya kicks in the door, waves in the 4-4

When Arya rides her horse up the hill and looks over to see Winterfell...maybe it was only me, but I heard Biggie Smalls in the background. Yes, it was a touching scene as she was completing her long trip home. But she was also the last Stark kid to make it home, which means that the unit is complete and ready for war. Thus, in my head I heard murder music as her theme song.

Her whole sequence was just fun. It’s a testament to how much she’s gone through and done, that when the idiot guards tried to deny her entry I was almost scared that she would kill them. But instead, the bumbling guards just provided comic relief as a foil to Arya’s awe at her homecoming. Her scene of looking around at Winterfell in appreciation, as the guards nattered in the background, was well done.

Sansa’s face was perfect, as well, when the guards mentioned that the “impostor” asked for Maester Luwin and Ser Rodrick. In fact, Sophie Turner (Sansa) and Maisie Williams (Arya) both just nailed their performances this week. Conveying pages of dialogue with the nuances of their faces.

The sister reunion in the crypt sent a tingle down the spine. Sansa and Arya, remember, “hated” each other as kids. They were rivals, but more the were opposites. Each was everything that the other wasn’t. Would the reunion be tense? 

Arya: “Do I have to call you Lady Stark now?”

Sansa: “Yes.” 

Then a slight pause, before the sisters come together with a heartfelt hug that lacked the hollywood dramatization of Jon and Sansa’s reunion last season, but had more feeling, especially after the dud of Sansa hugging robot Bran last week. Speaking of robot Bran, Sansa’s hesitation and dread in telling Arya that her little brother was also around was pronounced. Which made sense, because Bran was busy...

Bran & creeps out Littlefinger (yay) & Meera (sad)

Littlefinger has pretty much just lurked around in corners, giving Sansa side-eye, all season. But he approaches a bed-bound Bran and magnanimously offers him he Valyrean steel dagger that was once used to try to assassinate Bran and his mom. It’s unclear what Littlefinger’s angle was, but it seems that he dramatically underestimated the Three Eyed Raven. Littlefinger preachified about how much Bran had seen, how far he’d been, and how it was sad that he returned to such chaos, only to have Bran shut him up by delivering Littlefinger’s own words from an old conversation that he had with Varys in season 3: 

“Chaos is a ladder”.

Lord Baelish’s face was priceless. 

Unfortunately, the Three Eyed Raven wasn’t done. And he was just about to fumble the very opportunity that Grey Worm had spiked for a touchdown two episodes ago.

Meera Reed, fresh off dragging Bran on a liter across an entire continent, in the Winter, and thus proving her love and loyalty on an absurd level, feels like she should go home. The TER, being clairvoyant, knows it’s coming. Meera obviously doesn’t want to leave and obviously wants Bran to ask her to stay, the same way that Missendei really hoped that Grey Worm wouldn’t really just leave without saying goodbye. But while Grey Worm came through with the “you’re my weakness” speech that led to Missendei smiling weeks later (see below), Bran did this:

Meera: “You don’t need me anymore”

Bran: ”No, I don’t”

OUCH! Party foul! FUMMMMBLLLLE!

The TER says that he can remember being Brandon Stark, but he remembers so much more now. Hopefully, in the future, someone can help him remember his humanity.

All three Stark kids together!

Even though Bran gave Arya the patented robot hug in greeting, seeing all three Stark kids together was awesome. In addition to the emotional payoff, they are a power-packed three-pack right now. Like he did with Sansa and Littlefinger, Bran reveals that he has seen Arya in visions, this time when she was at the crossroads about going to kill Cersei.

I think my favorite part of that scene, though, was when Bran confirmed that Arya hadn’t been joking about having a list of people to kill. Arya looked back at Sansa almost defensively, but clearly Sansa LOVED it. Again, Sophie Turner killed the scene with her facial expression.

Bran also gave Arya the Valyerian dagger, which completed the months-long watch and speculation that began when Maisie Williams posed for a magazine cover with the dagger on her hip.  Before the episode is out, we start to see how potent Arya can be with that dagger (below). 

Oh, and if you’re emotional like that...the scene of the three Starks walking through Winterfell’s courtyard, with the big sisters pushing their little robot brother in a wheelchair, was almost a tear-jerker.

From Grey Worm to Jon

Small blurb, but Missendei’s wide and unquenchable smile when she talked about her now weeks-old experience with Grey Worm brought a “young love” smile to my grizzled old face. The timing of the scene was also interesting, as Missendei was trying to girl-time confess to Dany that it went all the way down, and Dany was all innocent/shocked...then had the conversation interrupted by Jon Snow, excusing himself into two blushing young women. Followed immediately by...

Tunnel (cave?) of Love...but Bend the knee, tho

I’m not a shipper, so I don’t have a dog in the fight of Dany and Jon potentially hooking up. Kinda icky that she’s his aunt, but a) they don’t know it, b) pretty much all Targeryens ever married family (which is part of why “The Mad King” was so crazy), and c) this show has been rocking twincest since the first episode, so an aunt or cousin barely even compares. 

That said, Jon taking Dany into the cave/tunnel, gushing over all the dragon glass, then bringing her through all the hieroglyphics about the Children of the Forest joining Man to fight The Whitewalkers...it felt like a first date. And just when it seemed Jon had a shot at his first kiss, Dany caught him with the “Bend the Knee” curb. Dany’s consistent “Bend the knee” messages to Jon are ridiculously meme-worthy...I don’t know whether to beg that she stop, or secretly hope the showrunners start spoofing it themselves. 

At the very least, Dany does seem like she now cares about Jon’s opinion. as she asked him straight out what she should do after her latest defeat. Jon talked her off the ledge of going and burning the whole castle, but either he or she DID come up with a really fun plan (more below)...

The Big Lady vs No One

Even with all of the stuff in this episode, probably my favorite scene was when Arya jumped in to spar with Brienne of Tarth (or “The Big Lady”, as Hot Pie calls her). Brienne started off trying not to hurt the tiny Arya, who was fighting like her sword dancer teacher from season one and pretty much moving faster than the eye like The Red Viper (pre head-crushing, of course).

The fact that Arya is a badass and would have killed Brienne like 11 times if they were fighting for real was cool. But what I loved about the scene was how much fun the two women were having in that spar, both of them rocking huge smiles even as they swung live steel at each other. That scene felt like I must look when me and my best friend play 1-on-1 basketball...like we’re both going for the jugular, but loving the comraderie of going your hardest against someone that can bring it back just as hard.

Another hidden gem in that scene was the look on Sansa’s face, as she looks on. Sansa has been established as the best ruler of the Stark kids, but for the first time she seemed jealous of all of the things that Arya is, that she’s not. 

Dracarys, and Jaime’s doomed charge

OK, this is running long, so I’m skipping the scene where The Onion Knight jokes that Jon has been staring at Dany’s “good heart”, as well as the one where Theon comes to shore and freezes up when he sees Jon (I was SURE Jon was about to punch him in the face). But, let’s get to the walk-off home run of the episode: Dany, her Dragon, and her Dothraki reigning havoc (and fire) all over Jaime’s crew. First, the memes:

Tupac weighs in

Horse-surfing cowboy

The memes about cover it. Mega payoff for those that have been waiting since Season 1 (or, like me, 20 years since Book 1) to see Dany’s Dragon(s) in action in Westeros. Also, seeing the Dothraki come in and absolutely wreck shop while doing rodeo archery tricks and talking trash (”Your people can’t fight”) was worth the wait as well.

Dr. Frankenstein’s dragon-killing crossbow was a little nerve-wracking, especially since Bronn was the one firing and I didn’t really want him to get killed either. But Drogon took the quarrel like a G, and still wrecked the heck out of the crossbow. 

Then, Jaime decides to charge a dragon with a spear. Yes, he saw Dany standing there and thought that if he took her out, the war was over. But still. Did I mention that he was charging a DRAGON???

I’ll let Tyrion say it

Episode ends with Jaime (and presumably Bronn) taking a swim in armor, which doesn’t seem like it’d end well, but if the showrunners were planning to let Jaime die they could have just let him get barbecued. So, here’s assuming that there’s an epic rescue by next week. And speaking of next week...

In the previews, sure looks like Jon comes face to face with a dragon (with Dany riding). Can it finally be time for the Dragon’s second head to be revealed? I guess we’ll soon see.

Other articles of interest

Game of Thrones S7 Ep1: Winter has been a long time coming

Game of Thrones S7 Ep2 Stormborn : Where is Ghost?

Game of Thrones S7 Ep3 The Queen’s Justice: Ice meets Fire