#also card motifs!! not really anything interesting about that beyond visual stuff

[nite-puff]

thing is, i want to pair yasuhiro and celeste together, but not in a shipping way. in a “i think they could’ve been cool parallels to each other if the writers wanted to explore that even a little” way.

i mean there’s the chapter three stuff, money is a huge motivator for both of them, they’ve done shady things to get their money, i feel like they can both be pretty manipulative (celeste for obvious reasons. and i mean, hiro’s so open about his fortune telling success rate and is still able to run a successful business despite that. what is he saying to his customers??? especially the more notable ones? how is he able to get ceo’s to give him hundreds of thousands of dollars for something that isn’t guaranteed??), and of course, the “yasuhiro” thing. interesting how celeste calls yasuhiro a loser’s name, yet she’s the one who died and hiro ended up in the survivor’s circle.

also they’re both very lucky. celeste uses her luck for her gambling and hiro always seems like he’s constantly avoiding death by sheer luck so-

like i just need these two to have one full two-sided conversation. just to monitor what happens like im recording data.

[abbyklinkenberg]

01 July 2017

I just finished reading One Hundred Years of Solitude for the second time. It's a hot day in Chicago and the edge of the circle of time is so sharp. 

I decided that I should try to see all 50 major museums here in Chicago before I leave, so yesterday I went out on the Brown line & transferred to the Red line in order to get to the Chicago station. There, I had a Potbelly sandwich and talked to Aidan for a little while before heading to the first museum: the Loyola University Art Museum, which turned out to be a very Catholic museum full of religious artifacts from the middle ages/Renaissance era, mostly. There were relics, the bones of saints, in some of the pieces--there were silver chalices from Germany in the 1700s and Roman keys from the first century BC and paintings by students of Caravaggio and stone apostles defaced during the Reformation. One of the hallways was full of self-portraits done by member of a poor community somewhere in Chicago, just pencil sketches that mostly looked as if they were done by children but were probably done by adults who never had the time or resources to fool around with artistic experiments. I tried to read all of the little museum information signs but at some point I got overwhelmed by the religious imagery and simply took it in aesthetically. There were two stained-glass windows done mostly in gray with bright yellow shading as the only color that I probably liked the best. A display of keys from the copper ones of the Roman empire through to the iron ones of the Middle Ages and steel ones of the Renaissance was also really striking. I like that they all did the same things but in slightly different ways, that they were all so neat and precise in their designs--one even had a club shape as the barrel of the key, or whatever it's called. It was really empty, I only saw maybe one or two other people apart from the staff (college-aged girls in blue shirts and black pants) who gossiped with one another while I walked through the museum. 

The Museum of Contemporary Art was only a block away, and was the real object of my day, so I went over there and paid the $8 entrance using my JNU student ID that expired last month. Lots of young people sat on the steps leading up to the entrance and the windows above were adorned with a giant tentacle motif in homage to the Murakami exhibition on the third floor. The first floor had two exhibitions, ETERNAL YOUTH and SMOKE, RISES or something; the first was nostalgic somehow, with magazine prints of Marky Mark and Kate Moss in Calvin Klein ads, an Instagram model blown up to be life-sized, and some other not-so-surprising or provocative looks at youth; it's not surprising anymore, to see kids wrecked by drugs or hiding behind masks or struggling with the trials of adolescence; we're so oversaturated with such content these days, it felt like a somewhat lazy exhibition--I did find some of the text pieces interesting, talking about the commodification of youth and how it's used as an empty promise and vague reason to buy something. 

The other, across the hall, was a series of basic sculptures involving 'other people' outside of the exhibition somehow, outside of the museum. Marble sculptures with shallow pools containing contact lenses of people who didn't know one another, SIM cards in cement blocks, manipulated window panes folded in strange shapes with cigarette buts or guitar strings attached to them. The most provocative one, to me, was a 'wall' with a square canvases on either side painted in the pattern of a shirt and a dress worn by a man and a woman who would occasionally come to the museum; the might meet, they might not; the canvases were put on parallel tracks that ran the length of the wall. And then a metal rod with a single earring through it--the other is presently worn by a woman somewhere in the world, which is the complementary part of the sculpture. The artist invites you to imagine the human elements that are contained in-part, yet that ultimately transcend, the museum space and sculpture itself. I found myself wanting more of that one, I felt that it was real art that provoked something in the viewer, a creative act that was the same and different every time. 

There was another gallery on that floor, tucked in the corner--a series of made-up constellations was on one wall, understandably meditating on the arbitrary yet meaningful nature of any constellation in the night sky that we have come to identify. The exhibit was named after some part of Moby Dick, 'the shallow level' or something like that. From Ahab's quotation about needing to strike through the mask, about how there is something beyond us that we can't quite access. Though the written explanation of the intention excited me tremendously, I found the art to be somewhat lacking, probably just because it's not to my taste. A painting that was overlaid with pink paint such that you can still kind-of see the stuff beneath (really obvious relevance, not profoundly interesting), a set of concrete blocks that looks solid from 3/4 sides but opens on the other, a map written over with a poem by the artist about metaphor and perception and imagining an analogous human example of reducing the world to a map, which I liked best, and some other things that didn't strike me particularly. 

Upstairs was an installation that I really hated with some computer-generated supermarket images of fruit and weird grocery store dollies and something about trying to make you feel like you're inside of a freezer with bags of fake ice and all that. Then things that look like paint cans but are actually meticulously crafted wooden sculptures of paint cans. The only part I liked, which was small, was built into the wall; a supposed massage parlor--you can see the entry with the sign, a stairway up to a door, and a back entrance, all in miniature, through holes in the wall. Playing the voyeur with nothing to see, sparking a curiosity that exists but can't exist there. 

On the third floor was the Murakami exhibition, which I didn't expect to love so much. The wall was covered in silver and electric pink, tentacles patterns and a stylized 'MURAKAMI.' Some of his beautiful early works with a traditional Japanese artistic technique that depicted turtles that seemed to have been made of condensed and reptilian mystery. A massive blue wall of many panels and absurdly deep blue pigments, an ornate stage setting with 2/1 at the top to celebrate the artist's birthday by making fun of that one guy who only made art that was the date written out on a canvas. More of those mocking types except the date and the canvas were painted the same color so it can hardly be distinguished. And then some rooms on Mr. DOB, his mouse-thing, that I liked sometimes but mostly didn't. Some explanation of his workshop technique making his larger pieces was also featured, but I wasn't too interested in seeing how the magic is made, but rather in the magic itself. His 'superflat' pieces were really compelling--flowers with faces covering an entire wall, for instance--and his aesthetic came back to me from his various famous collaborations with people in the 2000s, especially. None of that stuff was really my thing, but the rigorous detail impressed me. It started to get really exciting for me upon seeing Kanye's Graduation album cover in real life, in addition to a sculpture of the Kanye Bear and another painting from that time-period. A grandmother was trying to explain to her grandkids who Kanye West was--'a very famous rapper' and I found it funny. 

The room that made me feel the most, though, was a huge rectangular gallery with two massive sculptures of demons or something, red and blue, at the entrance and exit of the room, with some Murakami stained-glass windows behind them in a sort of religious allusion. The long walls were covered by two pieces--one was a white and blue dragon that didn't captivate me terribly much, but the other was a huge, intricate, and profoundly striking work of 100 monks of various sizes, stylized and detailed in the most precise and stunning manner. It was both grotesque and ascetic, simultaneously religious and irreverent. The size of everything was really moving to me. 

The final room displayed Murakami's most recent piece, done especially for the exhibition, entitled 'the octopus eats its own tentacle' or something like that. It's a reference to a Japanese saying that deals with cutting off an arm in order to grow a new one, with the recycling of the past and the coming of a circular future. That one was also beautiful, though I had been too impressed by the previous room to feel anything but a visual hangover as I pondered the equally beautiful scene. 

I left looking for a place to read and enjoy something to drink while listening to Vince Staples' new album, which I was inspired to hear because the museum is having him speak there later this month. I really liked what I heard and keep meaning to peruse it further. I ended up at a little French bistro where I had some happy-hour red wine that I had missed. Red wine was plentiful in Argentina, but I was very deprived of it in India, so it felt like a revelation. I read my book, talked to my sister and parents, and then ordered some muscles around sunset. They were gorgeous; I had smelled them from another table earlier in the evening and resolved to try them despite my ongoing attempts at vegetarianism (currently, I've decided to eat meat only one day per week). And it really was a beautiful day, I couldn't have asked for anything better. Solitude isn't necessarily that bad. 

[skeletonmob]

An Extremely Long Post for the Shortest Day of the Year

My original plan was to release a demo for my visual novel today, since astrology and astronomy are major motifs and plot points throughout. But that’s gonna have to wait until the new year. So instead, here’s the intro of the game in all of its literary glory. Enjoy! Feel free to ask me questions if you want!

-----

I was anxious, I had never gotten my fortune told before.

I'd been working for the National Park Service for a few years now. Sometimes I'd be asked to inspect a local Khalahari ruin, but for the most part it was hiking trails and scenic overhangs. It was nice, but I wanted something more. I've always wanted to sail the seas, find buried treasure, or ride dragons, just like any other kid. I just wanted to go on some big, grand adventure, just to say I could. I've sort of achieved that, but I wanted to know if there was more. I wanted to know if there was some great adventure waiting out there for me.

After taking in the towering column of beige stone, I nervously stepped inside.

[scene transition]

A small magic shop greeted me at the front entrance, probably something to supplement this whole fortune telling business. Walking past the numerous books, crystals, and dried herbs for sale, I stepped through an archway of books. The rounded stairwell was painted a calming shade of blue, and was decorated with numerous paintings. Sunlight poured in from the windows, with faux gas lamps pulling the rest of the slack. After a decently long climb, I found myself at a set of carved wooden doors.

I cautiously entered. The room was cramped and adorned with a dragon’s hoard of junk. Paintings, maps, dragon skulls, decorative weapons, candles, all stuffed wherever they could fit. Bookshelves and colorful tablecloths lined the walls, along with padded chairs and a few display cases. In the center of all this was a marble statue of a woman, dramatically lit by light coming from the back windows. To the left you could see a door that led to a small kitchen.

"Ah, you must be Caelum!" A man stepped out from the back table. He was about average height and was wearing a bluish-mauve cloak that covered most of his face in shadow.

"I'm Corvus." He shook my hand.

"Mornin', so what's going on here?"

"Oh, this is just leftover from yesterday. It takes a while to clean up this sort of thing."

I helped Corvus move the statue aside and he pulled out a small, round table.

"So, what I had planned was to do a tea and oracle reading." He said.

"What's an oracle reading?" I asked.

"It's like a tarot reading but with oracle cards. Some say it's more accurate than tarot, but I'd say it's about the same."

“Are they really that different?”

“Depends on what deck you use. Tarot decks are all the same. They have the same suits, same messages, the only thing that really changes is the surface aesthetics. But oracle decks can be based off anything that draws upon the mystical energy of the universe.”

“Oh, cool.” My nerves started calming down.

“I can get a tarot deck if you want. Or we could do something completely different-”

“No, it's fine. I'm not familiar with any of this, so you lead the way.”

Corvus turned around and put a kettle on a small camping stove. It obviously hadn't seen the outdoors given the pristine condition it was in. Surrounding the stove were various jars of herbs and spices and another marble statue. This time of a priestess of some sort, her hands held out to receive whatever divine offerings you could afford.

Corvus rushed into the kitchen and rushed out with a small tin of loose leaf tea. Probably a sample from a local shop. He tossed it next to the stove and sat down. After a some moments of silence while he shuffled the cards, he split the deck into thirds and set them on the table.

"So I'm sure you have a basic understanding of how this works," he began, "This'll be a basic three card spread. This isn't a past, present, future spread, but just something to get a concise idea of the big picture. Just pick three cards and place them in the center."

[short minigame]

Corvus set aside the remaining deck and flipped over my cards, revealing three constellations, Corona Borealis, Cavalo, and Lepus.

“Oh!” His eyes lit up, “It appears your search for adventure will be very fruitful indeed! Luck is on your side. If you keep yourself motivated and keep pressing forward, you will receive great riches and fame! You won’t win the lottery or anything, but, you’ll make many new friends and maybe receive a promotion at work.”

“I doubt it, but that’s good to hear.” I commented, “So what will this adventure actually entail?”

“Since you’ve got Cavalo, I’d say it’s something that involves a lot of work and will be fairly fast paced.”

“Can you tell me anything more than that?”

“Nope, I think that’s about as much as I can gather from these cards. Which is why I also suggested a tea reading.”

Corvus got up and checked the kettle, which had come to a gentle boil. He turned the stove off and opened a small cabinet of teacups, probably set aside for this specific purpose.

“So, what kind of adventure are you looking for?” Corvus asked, “Even if you just have a vague idea, that would help focus the energy for the tea reading.”

I straightened myself and though for a moment.

“Well, I work for the National Park System, I’m one of those trail guides that give hiking tours of the area. So I’ve basically hiked through the entire Celestine Mountain region. If I were to go on my dream vacation, it wouldn’t involve anything like that.”

“You want something that isn’t nature related.”

“Yeah, or something minimally attached to it. I . . . well, it’s not my greatest dream, but one thing I’ve always wanted to do was sail along the Southern Coast. I’d get a sailboat or a small fancy yacht and drift from town to town. In the morning I’d explore the area, and at night I’d sail a little way outs, watching the moon and stars come out.”

“May I ask why you want to do this?”

“I . . . I don’t know honestly. It just always seemed like something fun to do. I think I’ve always been one try new things for the sake of it. I grew up in Rolha, over in the orchards, so that probably had something to do with it.”

“Do you have any plans beyond that?”

“Well, there’s a bunch of other stuff I wanna do. I definitely wanna visit the Khalahari ruins in Costervo, I wanna spend the autumn or winter in New England, cause that seems really nice. I don’t think it matters what order I do them in so long as I actually do it. If I were to go sailing first, then I would-”

[door slamming sound]

. . . . .

. . . . .

After a moment of bewilderment I stood up, walked through the kitchen, and peeked through the door. It was his bedroom. Corvus was lying on a thick pile of blankets, crying.

"Uh . . . what's wrong?" I asked, confused.

“Nothing, it’s just . . . sometimes I lose my nerve and need some time by myself.” He replied.

“Okay . . . are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine, just give me a few minutes. You can sit in the waiting room for a bit, I won’t charge you extra or anything.”

I stopped myself as I was closing the door. It always felt wrong to leave people like this, to leave people wallowing in their own misery. My mom was concerned with giving me an allowance, because a lot of the time I would give it to the first homeless person I saw.

“Hey, you wanna talk this over coffee or something?” I said, trying to think of some way to fix this.

“I hate coffee.”

“How about tea then?”

. . . . .

. . . . .

. . . . .

“Sure.”

I slowly closed the door and stepped back into the kitchen. Next to the pantry was a fairly small cabinet that, based on the smell, shelved all the tea. Searching the rest of the cabinets, I found a floral tea set and an electric kettle. So all I really need to do is to figure out how to open this cabinet.

[gameplay section]

"I made some tea if you want some." I said.

There was no response.

I gently shut the door and sat down at the table. I poured myself some tea and stared at it for a minute. I still wasn't sure if I was handling all this correctly. After a few moments Corvus finally stepped out of his bedroom and glumly plodded over to a chair.

"Sorry about what happened earlier." He said calmly, "I get overemotional sometimes and . . . it just helps to have a crying fit sometimes, y'know?"

"Yeah.” I said, even though I wasn’t that sort of person. “So what happened?”

. . . . .

. . . . .

“You . . . you just reminded me of my old boyfriend. That sense of adventure, that optimism. After high school he moved to Cabo Dourado to work. From there, I just started thinking about how everyone else went their own way, and how I’ve been stuck here.”

. . . . .

. . . . .

“Is this job really that bad?” I asked.

“No, but compared to working for some tech start-up it is. The actual work is fine, I find the culture and history of this whole thing really interesting, but sometimes it feels like I could be doing more. Sometimes it feels like there’s a better life for me out there, y’know?”

“Oh, yeah . . .” I whispered to myself.

. . . . .

“I got a new job, but now I’m even questioning whether that was a good idea. There’s just so much . . . I don’t know, just fuck me!” Corvus slammed his fists on the table.

“But why’d you come here in the first place?” I blurted out, trying to find some direction to lead this in.

Corvus sat up, took a deep breath, and sipped his tea. He meditated for a bit, trying to compose himself.

“I . . . For a lot of reasons, I guess, but I think one of the main ones was so I could say that I was apart of something. You know how when Wingspan or Snapshot were introduced, tons of business people were like, this’ll be the next big thing! I think that’s what attracted me to this place. Even if this ends up dying in five years, I can still say that ‘Hey, I was part of that!’”

“It seems a bit out of place for a math whizz like you.”

“Well, I first applied here to be an astrologer. I figured I’d have no trouble tracking the position of the moon and what not, and I do find basic astronomy interesting. Plus, it’s different than going into accounting or something.”

“I’m assuming you don’t do that anymore.”

“Yeah, I got ‘reassigned’ because I was ‘disrupting the energy of the workplace’. Personally, I think it’s because my presence ruined their jive somehow. People started acting passive-aggressive towards me when I came out. Not everyone though, just a handful.”

“You can sue them for harassment.”

“I know, but it’s wasn’t . . . You know how in pretty much every high school comedy there’s the alpha bitch and her clique? That’s basically what it was like.”

“Well, at least it’ll be nice to finally get away from all that.” I commented.

“That’s what everyone says.” Corvus sneered, sipping his tea.

“But it’s true. A lot of times, whether it’s clingy girlfriends or just the stress of modern life, it helps to physically distance yourself from all that. It helps put things in perspective. It might not be the solution, but it’s part of it.” I retorted.

. . . . .

. . . . .

“I guess so.”

The cloud of dread that hung over us slowly faded away as we finished our tea. Corvus poured himself his final cup and stared languidly at the table for a bit. I think he was trying to think of something to say but was still in a pretty gloomy mood.

"Do you want to have dinner sometime?" I asked.

"Why?" Corvus blushed.

"Just to . . . talk things over, I guess. I thought it'd be nice to do something together since nothing went according to plan today."

"Oh, sure, that's fine. Where were you thinking of going?"

"Capatin's Quarters, unless you don't want seafood. I'll have to see what day though, I don't have my schedule yet."

"No, that's fine. Wanna aim for happy hour?"

"Sure thing."

After finishing my tea, I thanked Corvus for his brief company and walked out into the cool afternoon sun.

[scene transition]

After sleeping I felt considerably better. I was still a little disheartened about what happened yesterday. The thing I was concerned about was the fact that I didn’t know where to go from here. I have tons of dreams I want to accomplish, but I don’t know how. I thought getting my fortune told would help get my bearings straight.

I finished my eggs and toast then went out to check my mail. I’m a trail guide, but instead of being assigned to a single park, I’m shuffled around to help pick up slack at other parks. I usually spend three to five days at one, then three to five at another. Despite, all the moving around, it’s pretty relaxed. However, this time I didn't find the usual stuff, just a wax sealed envelope and a small letter.

---

Caelum,

Smaragdus Silversmith, head librarian of the Library of the World in Ouroboros, has requested the services of the department. Specifically, they require someone with excellent communication and social skills, and considerable knowledge of the northern parts of the country. After reviewing multiple candidates, we have determined that you are the best fit for this job. Your current address and phone number have been forwarded to them. If either of those have changed, or you have any other questions or concerns, please contact the department using the information below.

Take care!

Diana – Management, National Parks & Wildlife Service

Prateado, S35PDC

112-3581

---

. . . . .

. . . . .

This felt . . . strange. It was not only sudden, but strange in general. I had been requested to help teach school kids about forest plants and basic first aid several times, but those had never lasted for over a month. I figured the wax sealed envelope would answer the rest of my questions, and instinctively opened it.

---

Dear Caelum,

For some time now the Lunar Society and I have had a strenuous relationship. I have blocked their many attempts to hold ‘spiritual healing sessions’ and other such nonsense at the library, but now they’ve suddenly altered their tune. Over the past few weeks they’ve been bombarding me with gifts and I’m unsure if they’re trying to bribe me or attempting to get petty revenge for a decades worth of disagreement. Which is why I'm asking you for help. I need someone with considerable knowledge of the area to help me confirm or deny my suspicions. Please come visit me, and I shall explain in more detail.

You should also receive a letter from the National Parks Service, either before or after this arrives, confirming the validity of my request.

- Smaragdus

Library of the World, Ouroboros N15O2E

Front Desk: 780-2357

---

I looked over everything. The envelope was addressed to me, so I was meant to receive this, this was the job he wanted me to do. I stared at the letter for a bit before my heart dropped. This was the same as those fantasy books mom read to me as a kid! Lots of stories started out with the hero getting a mysterious letter! But is this true? Was this the start of an adventure I’d always dreamed of?

I rushed inside and got ready for the day, anxious to find out if that childhood dream of mine would come true.