#also can we talk about th idiotic thought process that led to him falling from that fence in the first place?

[nonepizzawithleftglitter]

I've been rewatching Soy Luna, and I never finished s3 before so I didn't know about the whole "Matteo falls from the fence" Thing and I can I just say, I Love that storyline. Like I thought it was just a fake-out so the contract would fall through and in 2 episodes time No one would talk about it but NO! They actually used it! They actually showed him in the Hospital Looking and Sounding like shit. And don't even geht me started in everything afterwards! They writers just went "Oh, by the way :) brain damage". He was so goddamn vulnerable and fragile like! At no other point in the Show die he stop singing. He was so panicky about it, because of course he was!

[nishiisenpai]

birthday forgotten - tsukishima kei x reader

REQUEST: “Hi babes! Another Haikyuu writer here! I saw you posted about doing requests and I was hoping on giving you one! Maybe an angst with fluff at the end fic where it’s the reader’s birthday (who is the karasuno manager and is also dating Tsuki cause I love that man) and they (the team) all forget, and when they find other later they feel bad because she has always made their birthday’s special. Then ending in fluff of them trying to make it up to her. Sorry if it’s not good I usually write and don’t request lmao. Hope you see more of your stuff in the future! - @nataliahaslosthershit “

A/N: I seriously can not thank you enough for sending in this request(deadass cried about it for a whole 10-15 minutes LOL - because i thought this blog was gonna flop ._. ) but thank you again for sending this in and i hope i didn’t disappoint you or anything!

-

WARNING: Angsty but with a fluff ending!

WHO: Tsukishima Kei x Karasuno Manager! Female Reader

-

“Morning Tsukki!” you smile at your salty dinosaur who had just entered the classroom. You followed him to his desk where he sat down and placed his bag, taking a book out.

“Morning.” Tsukishima said while giving you a small grin and paying attention to his book.

“Whatcha up to?”

“Reading.”

“Oh- uhm, do you want me to stay here or like?” You said as you were about to get up and leave though Tsukishima’s hand held onto your wrist.

“No no, it’s okay. You can stay here.” He looked at you with his norm straight face and you nodded sitting back down.

“I heard it’s a special day today...” you hinted. Today was your birthday and you were really hoping your salty dino got the message.

“Oh really?”

“Yup!” your eyes beamed with sparkles as Tsukki didn’t pay attention. “Hey are you ignoring me?”

“What? No! I was listening still. Keep talking.”

“Oh uhm, well today is a special day! A very very special day.”

“Is that so?” his eyes stayed on the book as he turned the page.

“Yes it quite is.”

“Well if you’re going to say something that mentions about practice then I think you’re mistaken.”

“No, silly! It doesn’t have to deal with practice. Something more exciting!”

“What is there to be excited about?” ouch.

“Well I don’t know, it seems that I am forgetting something...” you mumbled but screamed in your head to shout out the answer to your question. As much as you love this dinosaur, he sure is dumb to recognize the importance of your birthday.

“Well all I know is that today’s a normal and regular day, and there isn’t something special that I remember happening today.” suddenly the words Tsukishima was saying faded into a fuzzy noise. No longer were you able to connect back or hear anything around you, all you heard was the sound of your heartbeat slowly beating and your hurried breathes.

“Y/N? Hello? Are you okay?” Tsukishima snapped you back into reality.

“Huh? Oh yeah... I’m fine. Class is about to start, I’m going to head back to my seat and I’ll see you later yeah?”

“Okay, see yah.”

-

Class ended awhile ago and it was break. You had just left the washroom to see Kageyama and Hinata together bickering.

“What are you two boys bickering about, today?” as you walked up to them.

“Kageyama is calling me an idiot.” Hinata shot a glare at him.

“Again?” you chuckled.

“If you hadn’t ruined my favourite sweater Y/N got for me on my birthday by puking on it I wouldn’t be holding such a grudge.”

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY SORRY!” Hinata jumped up and down.

“It’s alright, Kageyama. I’ll get you another one on your birthday!” you said with a small smile and Kageyama’s eyes lit up.

“Wait actually??? Th-Thank you.” he gave you a small bow and you laughed.

“WHAT? NO FAIR-“ Hinata started saying but you interrupted him.

“I’ll make your birthday even more special, Hinata.” That’s all it took to have stars shine in Hinata’s eyes.

“NOT FAIR-“ you probably shouldn’t have mentioned or said that as they continued to bicker.

“Hey- BOYS!” you stopped them and they apologized. “Get to class, you’ll be late.”

“Yes, Y/N.” as they trudged back to class. Hinata had turned around.

“Oh by the way, Y/N.” maybe he would remember or say something about your birthday.

“Yes, Hinata?” you waited for the words to come out.

“Are you ready for-“

“Yes! I am so ready and excited!”

“See Kageyama, I told you Y/N would be excited to see our quick.” wait-what? I thought he would say something or remembered.

“Tsk, whatever.”

“See yah Y/N!” Hinata waved. You tried not to look upset and waved back with a small smile.

“Bye, Hinata. Bye Kageyama. I’ll see you two at practice.”

You knew these two boys would be forgetful. What type of hope did you clutch onto? If Tsukishima didn’t even remember your birthday, how would the others?

-

“Oh hi, Y/N!” Sugawara had said.

“Hey! Where are the others?” you said as you saw Daichi, Asahi, and Tanaka.

“They’re just coming.”

“Ahh I see.”

“So are you doing anything after practice?” yes, I’m going to celebrate my birthday by myself.

“Uh, just studying for an upcoming test. How about you Suga-san?”

“Good luck with that! And uhm.. I don’t think I have anything in mind today. Maybe just take a shower and sleep when I get home.” Suga laughed and you chuckled a bit before putting a small smile hiding away the pain. 

Even Suga forgot your birthday... This is honestly one of the most heartbreaking thing because he’s never the type to forget things. Especially when it comes to birthdays...

-

“Takeda-sensei, I think I’ll head out first. I still have homework to work on.” You said.

“Okay, thank you Y/N for coming.” He said before turning around. You went towards the door to open it quickly as tears were streaming down your cheeks already and you didn’t want to be seen with such emotion displayed on your face. You accidently hadn’t seen where you were going as you bumped into someone.

“Oh Y/N, are you okay?” Kiyoko asked. You wiped the falling tears from your eyes quickly and inhaled a breath of air before facing her.

“Huh? Ah, Kiyoko-san, yes. I am alright. I’m just going to leave early because I have homework to finish.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yep! See yah!” As you quickly turned away from her and walked your way home continuing to have tears stream down your face. The slow mind process of doubt, and overthinking started playing in your head as to how this could have led you to such event.

-

“Alright everyone, good job today! Make sure to rest up well, eat a well balanced dinner and get enough sleep.” Coach Ukai had spoken before continuing to speak, “Where’s Y/N?”

“She said she had homework left to do.” Takeda-sensei spoke out.

“Shoot, I wanted to gift her this.” Coach Ukai was holding a bag of your favourite snacks from his store.

“What for?” The team questioned.

“For her birthday... Why else?” Coach Ukai looked at the team in confusion looking at the faces of shock and guilt before widening his eyes.

“Did you idiots forget it was her birthday?!?!?!?” Coach Ukai slightly raised his voice making everyone panic.

“Wait- what? It’s today?” Tsukki checked his phone and spat out his water.

“Holy shit, I’m a bad boyfriend.”

“Tsukishima! How could you forget!?!?!” Yamaguchi yelled at his best friend before slapping him on the back of his head.

“So that’s why she was crying...” Kiyoko spoke out and everyone froze.

“S-She was crying?” Tsukishima’s eyes enlarged before grabbing his bags and heading towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Daichi asked stopping at the door.

“To go apologize to my girlfriend and to spend the rest of the day with her, why else?” As Tsukishima stared down at his captain. 

“We should all go and make it up to her. We as a team forgot so we shall go do what’s right.” Sugawara had spoken as Tanaka and Nishinoya had aggressively nodded their heads.

“Let’s go to Coach Ukai’s shop to purchase more snacks and drinks.” Hinata said while looking at Kageyama. “I’ll beat you there first.”

“Not unless I do it first!” As the two started sprinting towards the doors and to the shop.

“You sir,” Tanaka and Nishinoya said while looking aggressively into Tsukishima’s eyes, “Need to be a better boyfriend or we’ll take your girl.

“As if you can.” Tsukishima smirked heading outside before dashing to your place.

-

You were laying in bed after finishing your studies and staring at the ceiling thinking about how today turned out. 

“Am I not important? Do they even know when my birthday is? I mean I had mentioned it before. Does Tsukki even know it’s today? Am I not special enough?” all these clouded thoughts were blocking out the noise around you but suddenly your phone vibrated next to you snapping you out of your thoughts. The caller ID showed a picture of you and Tsukishima on your second date at the park mindlessly being slight idiots at night.

“Hello-?”

“Open your door.” Tsukishima’s voice said.

“Huh, why?” As you got up and walked towards the front door.

“You’ll see.” The call ended and you stared at your phone questioning what Tsukishima meant.

You opened the door revealing your boyfriend.

“What are you doing here at this time?” You said looking up at your boyfriend and tilted your head in confusion.

“Hold on, you can come in guys.” Tsukishima mentioned and you cocked your eyebrow at him.

“Happy birthday, Y/N!” Hinata came in giving you a plastic bag. In came the rest of the team and you were suddenly now holding plastic bags and poorly wrapped gifts in your hands as each of them said happy birthday to you.

“What is this..?” you chuckled nervously looking at them all for an answer.

“We felt really bad for forgetting to say a happy birthday to you. Mainly that tall blonde over there.” Tanaka said and Tsukishima sent a glare to the older boy.

“Aww thank you guys... I will admit I was a little upset, but that doesn’t matter anymore because you guys are here now! What are we waiting for? Let’s get this party started!” you exclaimed and their moods brightened.

“I’ll go set up the board games.” Daichi said with Sugawara following behind. The rest of the boys went to set up the snacks meanwhile you went to your room and placed the gifts there before heading to the kitchen to get some cold drinks.

“Y/N...” Tsukishima said out of nowhere scaring you.

“Tsukki, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” you said as you placed a hand over your heart chuckling.

“I’m sorry.” your chuckling stopped.

“It’s okay, babes. You didn’t know.” you said placing the drinks onto the kitchen counter.

“No, it’s not okay! Today is significant and an important day. I am so stupid for forgetting that it was your birthday.” Tsukishima looked down. This wasn’t like your boyfriend. The Tsukishima you knew wasn’t all apologetic and or so soft?

“Tsukki, it really is okay...” you went over to him and stood right in front of him before wrapping your arms around your salty dino.

“But it’s not.” he said mumbling. You sighed before bringing your hands to Tsukishima’s cheeks pulling him down a bit and bringing your lips together for a light kiss and going back into a hug position.

“Baby, it’s okay. I already forgave you for coming and you guys making it up to me by purchasing all this stuff and bringing all this stuff too. I promise.”

“Really? Cause I feel like a shitty boyfriend right now.”

“You will if you keep being all pouty and soft. That reminds me, since when were you so caring and soft?” you push your head away from Tsukishima’s chest giving him a puzzled look before he placed his hand on the back of your head and pushed you back to his chest.

“Shut up.” he grumbled while blushing and you giggled.

“WOAH- TSUKISHIMA’S BEING ALL CUTE IN THE KITCHEN WITH Y/N!” Sugawara said telling the group and from there started chaos.

-

[avengersassemble-fics]

New Perspective

part 03/?? “there’s no you and me”

masterlist

previous part // next part

word count 5k

an: oops. we find out some interesting stuff in this chapter, and see things from steve’s side a bit. ALSO RENATA WAS THE NAME OF PIERCE’S HOUSEKEEPER SO I USED THAT I thought it was funny bc... well ya know, ties this all pretty in a bow lmao. Renata deserved better! also... don’t worry, we will see what’s been going down with the unnamed ex husband soon :) TW; talks of a panic attack.

Normally news like this for someone like you would have made them ecstatic, and full of life. Given the amount of time and effort (and albeit money) that went in to try to even make something like this happen would have made you jump for joy. But the person you were two months ago and the person you were today were two almost different people. Well.. Okay, not totally different but different enough to think ‘What the fuck. What the fuck. Is this real life?’

Indeed it was, as the doctor told you. Three times to be exact. And even leaving their office you couldn’t completely believe it, even though you knew it to be true. It was like two parts of yourself were arguing with one another on who was right, the doctor or the fear that filled your chest. But when you found yourself outside the new location of your soon-to-be-ex husbands apartment, you knew the rational side of yourself had won this battle.

Two things didn’t go as you expected that day. The doctor's revelations, and then the reaction you received from your ex. Just how you said earlier that you weren’t a totally changed person in the now two months you’ve been separated, you did what you had come to know of yourself. You isolated yourself from the world. You ignored the texts and calls from your friends, ignored the message you glanced at from your new divorce attorney, and laid down in your bed and stared at the ceiling. You had managed to doze off a couple of times, but they were empty rests. You woke up with burning eyes and an estranged look each time without fail.

So when the familiar giggles and other unthoughtful sounds started to seep through your shared wall, you were up and out of the room before you could hear any more. Even after coming to rest on the couch you could hear the taps of something hitting the wall on the other side and god damn it you didn’t want to hear it. You were pulling open the door that led to your little stairs and in a matter of seconds you were sitting in your usual spot, trying to feel as much cool air as you could.

Your chest felt like it was heavier, more fragile. Each breath you took worked to calm the tension that had built in not only your shoulders and back, but in your heart. The air came in deep, and exhaled just as much. Your eyes fixated on the edge of the building as tears began to build behind your gaze. You hadn’t even heard the now familiar footsteps that came from behind you.

You and Steve only interacted on those two occasions, and it was dumbfounding why he still chose to come out here after his excursions with your neighbor. There was no rooftop dinner this time, or at least there was no remnants of it on your journey up here, so what was the excuse this time for his intrusion on your pity party?

When Steve came around the edge of the seat you always occupied, and that he would join you on, he didn’t even notice your disheveled appearance. He had walked past and to the edge, peering at something down below that you (obviously) couldn’t see.

“Every time I find you out here, I worry you’re really thinking about jumping ya know,” Steve joked. Or tried to joke, you didn’t think it was all that funny right now. “Gotta check and make sure-”

His sentence was cut off short when he turned back to face you and inevitably saw the look on your face, and your deadset eyes. With the sudden silence you pulled your gaze from the cement and met his, and saw his smile fall. Steve saw the wetness that hung on your lower lashes, and gulped down the knot that had formed at the back of his throat. You averted your attention back to something other than him, and Steve took a step closer to you.

“You’re kinda worrying me, angel,” he said. His steps brought him closer until he was easing himself next to you, on the edge respectfully as he always did, and your eyes fluttered to glance at him for only a moment. “Is everything okay?”

You opened your mouth to reply, but nothing came out. You closed your mouth and instead offered a simple shrug of your shoulders. Steve glanced over you and the pajamas that covered you from the brisk chilly air, and sighed a bit.

“Do I need to beat someone up?” He asked, and rested his arms on his legs to lean forward towards you. “Ya know I’ve never liked bullies. Did someone.. Do something to you? Have they hurt you?”

“Jesus, no. No one-” you finally spoke and trailed off. A hint of relaxation fell over Steve’s eyes at the sound of your voice. You let out a deep sigh and looked to the ground. Steve lowered his head a bit so he could see the side of your face.

“Gotta tell me what’s wrong,” he whispered. “Or else I won’t know how to help you-”

“I’m pregnant,” you blurted in a whisper. Steve’s mouth went from a shocked expression to a closed, grim look. You looked over at him to see his stare and shrugged your shoulders. “Don’t see how you can help with that. Or would even want to.”

Steve was used to these kinds of comments. In fact, they were always true when spoken from the women who said them to him. But he couldn’t help but feel a pang of hurt when you said something that, in hindsight, was true. If Steve had happened upon someone in this state, and if they were unlikely to fall under his charm or even reveal something like this, he would be gone in an instant.

You weren’t just someone though.

Steve looked up to meet your gaze and he gave you a smile. “I’ll tell you what, angel,” he shifted so he could face you better and you straightened your position at his moves, a bit intrigued. “Let’s make this a permanent thing. Anytime I’m around, we can still sit up here, and talk. And I’ll be here every time you need me. Every time.”

You glanced over him and narrowed your eyes a bit after taking in his thoughtful composure. “Why..?”

“Because despite your glowing opinion of me,” Steve joked and it finally got you to roll your eyes and crack a smile. He couldn’t help but grin at the action. “I do care. Can’t have a pretty girl like you all sad and mopey like you were.”

“How will you know when I need you?” You asked, and fiddled with your fingers in your lap. Steve reached over and grabbed ahold of your fidgeting digits, and gave your hands a slight squeeze.

“I’ll just know,” he said and smiled. You looked him over once more before giving him a small smile back, and Steve nodded as he released his grip on you. “Besides, I’ll be able to hear you crying through the wall if I don’t become your personal therapist.”

You scoffed and hit his arm with the back of your hand. Steve chuckled at your playful movement and a comfortable silence fell over you two. He could tell just by your composure you were a little more at ease, but he knew something was still on your mind. So he did something he hasn’t done before. Steve moved so he too could rest against the back cushion, and he was side by side with you now. He laced his fingers together in his lap and then looked over at you, and bumped your shoulder with his gently.

“Come on, tell me what’s on your mind,” he offered. “I thought this was what you wanted? Granted it doesn’t fix the affair.. But it finally happened. Isn’t that good?”

“Under different circumstances? It would be perfect,” you chuckled a bit at yourself and shook your head. “But he cheated.. He left.. And he doesn’t want anything to do with it. ‘There’s no you and me’, he said.”

Steve shook his head to himself and rolled his eyes. This guy sounded like a complete asshole. Steve couldn’t bring himself to understand how any man would do this to someone like you. “The more I hear about this guy, the more of an idiot he sounds like.. Do you want me to go teach him some manners?”

“Oh what, because you don’t like bullies?” You have let out a chuckle between the words and bobbed your head a bit at him in a mocking tone, and Steve grinned a bit.

“Damn right I don’t like bullies,” he mimicked you and bobbed his head in your direction and you genuinely laughed at him. Your laughter echoed over the street and between the buildings and Steve found himself staring. When you finally quieted down to giggles and met his gaze again, he snapped out of it.

“But really.. He was just as involved in the process,” Steve said and motioned his hand over you. “I say you take him for a ride, get everything from him.”

“I don’t want everything,” you said a bit quieter. “You know what I want the most?”

A question Steve has heard a great number of times from women, and he always knew the answer. But he found himself leaning in a little closer to hear yours. “What do you want the most?”

“To feel like me again,” you said with a slight shrug and looked up to meet his look.

Steve blinked a couple times as your words sunk in for him. It became a bit more clear in that moment for him that he hung onto your every word like it was the last thing he would ever hear in his life. It wasn’t long after those words were said did you excuse yourself to go back to the confines of your apartment. Steve could tell even when you gave him one final look before disappearing behind your door that you were still upset. But there wasn’t much more he could do, once you were in your apartment, that was it. He had to go.

He never stayed over at Sharon’s. He always left a note and gave some kind of excuse about needing to be ready for work and he didn’t want to wake her, but it was honestly bullshit. He could admit that, and he thinks a small part of Sharon knew that too. Steve would slip out and give a small tug on the door to make sure it had indeed locked behind him, and then make his way to the stairs and bounce down them as normal. That night he paused outside your door and smiled to himself before continuing on his way.

Steve didn’t know why he had become entranced with the woman he was sleeping with’s neighbor. But as a week passed, he sat in the same spot he had once before on Bucky’s couch, holding a beer, and zoned out of whatever his friend was trying to talk to him about. Bucky ran a hand through his hair and his gaze fell upon his best friend, who stared thoughtfully out the window. He stopped in the middle of his sentence and rolled his eyes, leaning back against the couch and tossing an arm over the back.

“Steve?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, Buck,” Steve said absent-mindedly.

“Do you agree that I should throw this bottle at you?”

“Yeah, of course, whatever you say,” Steve replied. Bucky scoffed and grabbed one of the pillows near him and chucked it at his friend, hitting him smack in the face. Steve blinked at the pillow that hit his face then bounced to the floor, and looked at his friend who was all but glaring. “What?”

“Dude, what’s going on with you lately?” Bucky asked. Steve shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his drink.

“No come on, seriously. Are you seeing someone new? You have this look that I haven’t seen since-”

“Don’t go there, Buck,” Steve warned. Bucky raised his free hand in compliance and Steve sighed a bit. He glanced at his watch and Bucky rolled his eyes a bit.

“You seem eager to go see what’s her name,” Bucky commented in an attempt to change the subject.

“Sharon,” Steve corrected him and Bucky shrugged. There was a rattle at the door and in a couple quick seconds it opened to reveal Bucky’s new “partner” (as he called it), Connie. She looked over at the duo on the couch, and Steve noted the irritance in her eyes. With Bucky not getting up to greet her like normal, he was unsure if that look was directed towards him, or his friend. Connie audibly tossed her keys and bag onto the table near the door and with a huff, ascended the stairs and a few moments later, a door slammed.

“Fuck Bucky, what did you do?” Steve asked and Buck rolled his eyes and motioned towards the stairs.

“She’s been losing it ever since my ex showed up here,” Bucky explained and scoffed. “She’s pissy I didn’t toss her out as soon as we got home from lunch. God damn Renata let her in and she was sitting there just waiting,” Bucky motioned to where Steve now sat.

“Well why didn’t you toss her out?” Steve asked and a frown formed over Bucky’s face.

“Because I know her. And if she dared to come here, then something was going on,” Bucky casted his eyes down to the ground and took another sip from his drink. Steve raised his brow and scooted forward a bit to look at his friend.

“Buck, what’s going on?” Steve asked and Bucky sighed, but Steve noticed a hesitation as he recouped himself, that same carefree look on his face.

“Nothing we need to worry about, Steve. She won’t be coming around anymore,” Bucky said. Steve scoffed.

“For your sake, I hope not,” Steve said and finished the last bit of his drink.

That night things didn’t go.. Well. Steve didn’t perform his best, and he did not want to get into the details of it. He was distracted and even with all the very very nice work Sharon put in, his mind kept drifting to someone else. When Sharon cuddled into him Steve panicked, profusely sweating until she lulled herself to sleep and he carefully removed himself from her grasp. He needed air, fast. Steve threw his clothes back on, and it felt even more constricting. The long sleeved button up shirt, the trousers, he felt hot and uncomfortable.

Steve climbed those steps, pushed open the top, and gasped for air. His eyes looked around and he saw movement from the chair, and your head popped out from the side. Once you looked him over Steve stood there dumbfounded as you stood, and walked over to him with a concerned look on your face.

“Steve?” You questioned and he shook his head. You carefully grabbed one of his arms and placed a hand against his bearded face to adjust his view to you. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Steve’s chest heaved and fell as he tried to catch his breath and you looked to the door that led to your apartment. When your gaze went back to him and saw him pull at his collar and you took a little step towards your door. “Do you trust me?”

Steve looked you over, and before he knew it he was nodding his head. You kept your hand on him, now holding onto his hand as you gently pulled him towards the door you always disappeared behind. Steve blinked as his vision began to grow hazy, and he stumbled a bit when his feet landed wrong on one of the steps. You were quick though, so observant of him and nestled yourself into his side. When Steve was finally able to continue, you helped him down step by step as he braced himself against the wall. He was heavy, he knew he was, so he had to help you help him.

Once past the stairs and a door you veered him into a dark room, but it was soon brightened when you flipped a switch. Steve squinted a bit as he adjusted to the new lighting, and you were easing him down onto a soft surface. A bed. He could tell it was a bed. But then you disappeared from his side and he panicked a bit again.

You weren’t gone long. Before Steve knew it you were kneeling in front of him, and pressing soft clothes into his hands. Steve looked down at his lap and saw what you were handing him. A change of clothes, he can do that. Steve pulled the tucked in shirt from his pants and his hands went to the buttons that lined it and tried to undo them. His hands shook and he huffed at the inability to get them undone, he was stuck. He was stuck in this goddamn hot and uncomfortable clothes.

Your hands brushed over his and Steve stopped to watch. You met his eyes and gave a sweet smile, and undid a couple of the buttons before you paused. “Is this okay?”

Steve nodded. God, yes, just get it off, he wanted to beg you. You nodded and slowly undid the rest. You didn’t want to startle him, and Steve just watched as you undid every single button until the shirt hung open. Steve moved to peel the shirt back and down his arms and set the shirt by his side. When he looked back to your face you were holding the new shirt once more, and passed Steve the soft cotton fabric. Once he took it you stood from your place and let him have some room to slide it over his body.

In this state, Steve was grateful that you weren’t ogling him. When he got the shirt over his chest he looked over the blue fabric and up to your eyes. You looked at him with something he hadn’t seen in the longest time. You were worried about him. Steve looked down at his still trembling hands and you sat carefully next to him. Steve glanced at you on his side and you reached over and put your hand over his. He sucked in a sharp breath and the trembling stopped at the touch.

You let Steve stay like this until his breathing evened itself out. He went from letting you hold his hand to running his thumb over your skin. It gave him something to focus on to calm himself down, and you had eventually placed another hand on his arm. Steve took a deep even breath and then looked over at you, who was watching him pensively. You offered him a smile and rubbed his arm a bit.

“Would you like some water?” You asked him. Steve nodded, unable to bring himself to verbally answer due to the dryness of his throat. You whispered a little okay and stood from your spot by his side and walked to the hallway, but paused when you reached the door frame before looking at him once more. “If you want to change into those sweats, you’re more than welcome to.”

Steve nodded and you gave him another smile before disappearing fully. After a few moments another light came on elsewhere, and Steve looked at the sweats you had rested on the edge of the bed for him. Steve stood, and changed from the dress pants to the sweats, all while listening to you click around in the kitchen. Once Steve was fully changed, he slowly walked out of the room and into the open area.

Steve took the chance to take in these foreign surroundings. As he walked along the wall into the living room he looked over the rather barren walls. He could tell things had hung there previously given the little nails in the plaster, and the ones that remained showcased you, and what he assumed were friends and family. If there was any trace of a man, it was completely wiped out of your photos. That’s probably why these looked older, he frowned at the idea. When he completely circled the room he turned back to the kitchen and found you watching him. You were filling up a couple glasses with water from a pitcher and smiled at him. Steve cleared his throat and motioned around.

“Gotta say these pictures don’t do you justice,” Steve said and you chuckled a bit. You walked around the kitchen and came over to him and handed one his way. “Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome,” you said and went to sit on the couch. Steve watched as you nestled yourself against a corner and sat on one of your legs. Steve carefully moved to sit next to you and you sipped away at the water and watched him. Steve drank the cold water and let out a satisfied sigh.

“Steve?” You asked. He looked over at you and you smiled timidly. “Is everything okay?”

Steve chuckled a bit. He leaned forward to put his cup down on a coaster and then leaned back with his arm draping over the back of the couch. “A friend of mine just.. Reminded me of something I try often to forget.”

You seemed to think over his words and Steve watched as you mimicked his movements and set your glass down and moved to look at him. “You remember how you told me a week or so ago, that you would be there for me when I needed you?”

Steve laughed and nodded. “I do. Why-”

“Well right now, you need me,” you cut him off. You rested your hands in your lap and nodded. “So.. I’m here.”

Steve’s smile fell and he cast his gaze down to his own hands in his lap. His hesitation created a silence that hung in the room heavily, and to yourself you frowned as you watched him fiddle with his own fingers.

“When I moved to London, I met the most amazing person,” Steve started to explain. You looked up at the side of his face to watch him talk. “She was brilliant, strong, and didn’t need anyone to tell her who she was or what to do. And she was the first person who looked at me like.. Like I meant something. Like I wasn’t just some number, or some thing. I was Steve Rogers.

“We were together for almost five years. And then.. Peggy, that was her name, she got sick. She couldn’t breathe right, couldn’t keep food or water down, and it just.. It ate her away. Made her too weak. And then one day she just couldn’t fight it anymore.”

Steve hadn’t looked at you the whole time he spoke. He couldn’t tell when you had gotten close enough to hold his hand in yours but he was glad you did. He looked over at you and you were staring at him with sad eyes. You understood him now, you saw Steve Rogers. You were getting a glimpse into the man behind the antics and charade. And he hadn’t shown anyone that side of him since Peggy passed.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” you whispered to him and Steve shook his head.

“It’s okay, angel,” he said and you rubbed your thumb over his hand. “Sometimes we lose the people we love the most. It’s what we do with ourselves after that matters the most.. So I wrote about her, about us.”

“That sounds.. Beautiful, Steve,” you told him and Steve shrugged.

“I never finished it, if I’m being honest with you,” Steve said and offered a small smile.

“Why not?” You asked.

“Because..” Steve trailed off, and shook his head a bit. You nodded in understanding and stifled back a yawn.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Steve said when he noticed your small yawn. He was quick to pull his hand from yours and rubbed his legs. “You should be in bed-”

“Steve,” you warned and he raised a brow. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?” He asked and you rolled your eyes.

“Deflect. You’re deflecting.” You said to him and Steve looked you over.

“I’m being thoughtful,” Steve countered and you hit his arm.

“You’re being hard headed,” you said and Steve shrugged. “But thank you.. For sharing that with me.”

“Only you, angel,” Steve smiled and you rolled your eyes again.

“Steve if you leave.. Are you going to be alright?” You asked him. Steve’s playful looks fell and you once again saw that vulnerability again.

“I don’t know,” Steve answered honestly. You nodded a bit and stood, offering your hand to him.

“Then come on,” you said. Steve looked from your hand to your face and raised a brow.

“Where.. Are we going?” He asked and you laughed a bit.

“To bed. You need to get some sleep.”

Steve’s grin came back and he carefully grabbed your hand. “You’re taking me to bed?”

Steve had stood up as he spoke and you narrowed your eyes at him, though he knew you were only joking. “Keep it up Rogers.”

“Alright, alright,” Steve chuckled as you led him back to your bedroom and flicked the lights off along the way. You released him hand and moved to one side of the bed and he took the other. You were quick to get under the covers and watched Steve as he got into the other side of the bed and he settled in next to you with a content sigh. When Steve was settled into the soft sheets he glanced your way and noticed your look.

“What?” he asked this time. You shook your head and looked up at the ceiling.

“No one has slept there in almost three months now.” You admitted. Steve looked at you again and shook his head.

“He’s an idiot,” Steve commented and you shrugged a bit, readjusting yourself and resting a hand over your stomach.

“Sometimes we lose the people we love the most. It’s what we do with ourselves after that matters the most,” you repeated to him. Steve looked you over in the darkness. He looked you over from the hand that rested just up above your head, down the outline of your face, over the even breathing in your chest, and stopped at the hand that rested over your stomach. Though he couldn’t see it, he knew what you were referring to.

Steve let sleep come over him. For the first time in months, he fell asleep soundly and didn’t stir one bit throughout the night. Steve felt at peace after finally sharing that part of him with someone, and his stirless night showed that.

- - - - - - - - - -

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