#also can u believe i wrote this after watching hoodwinked ??? bc i can't

[dupliciity]

@necromancisms​  sent  :  you knew this one was coming, this is entirely ur fault idk why you blamed it on ME ;; “i won’t just sit here and watch you drink yourself to death.” for verse two hiroto and verse three takanashi. i give u full permission to actually sucker punch me with this one

  hiroto knew he didn’t have the best habits.  they were much more than habits, they were things he depended on to get through the day.  but he would never admit that.  he would try to hide that he went through a pack of cigarettes a day, that he had started drinking at noon.  living out of a bar had not helped by any means, it was easy to take a sip of whatever he liked when kuroguri wasn’t around, and when everyone was out running errands for shigaraki while their fearless leader was shut away in his room.  hiroto’s temper had kept him back at their base most of the time, only being called upon when he was absolutely needed.  this time alone made him think, and he didn’t like doing that much.  once his mind started going it was hard for it to stop, it lead him to thinking about the past and what he had been through.  the ‘choices’ that he had made when he didn’t have a choice, when the strings were being pulled by his family.  hiroto knew he was not a good person, that much was for sure.  even though he was aware, it did not mean that questions about his current life didn’t come to mind.  so he DRANK and he SMOKED and he did whatever he could to bottle it up and push it away. 

  hiroto was not used to having people that cared for him, that paid attention to his behaviors and his demeanor.  he grew up in a household that turned a blind eye to his suffering.  he honestly didn’t know that it had been noticeable, how bad it had gotten.  not until he found himself sat down with the whole league.  he had laughed at first, making a joke about how it felt like an intervention.  it hadn’t sunk in at first ... not until magne had begun talking about how much he had been drinking.  and then toga, bubaigawara, kuroguri  ...  hiroto just sat there in silence, blinking at the others as they spoke.  brows furrowed as everyone put in their two cents, and that rage that he tried so hard to silence began to bubble up inside of his chest.  no, he didn’t have a problem!!  it wasn’t a problem, it was helping ... right??  it was all he knew to do, to silence all of the thoughts that buzzed in his mind.  he was never taught to talk about it, why did everyone keep saying they wanted him to talk about it?? 

  so hiroto does what he felt he did best, LIE.  lie through his teeth like he had done his whole life.  he was fine, he had to be fine!!  so he pushed everyones worries down, he tried to at least.  however his voice and his hands were shaky, he was nervous.  he didn’t like this, pain being put on display in front of everyone that he held close to him.  it didn’t feel fair!!  he pushed back, reassuring them that he didn’t have a problem, that he had it all under control.  that sometimes he just needed a drink after a long day, that they should all understand with their line of work.  it’s obvious that they aren’t buying it, but hiroto keeps floudering and rambling to try and make it all better.  so they would stop talking about it.  with every silent stare that he received the anger inside of him grew ...

  it’s then that takanashi finally speaks, right as the rage begins to bubble up out of him.  I WON’T JUST SIT HERE AND WATCH YOU DRINK YOURSELF TO DEATH.  he blinks as his boyfriends words hit his ears, wide eyes staring at him.  he couldn’t believe it.  hiroto thought if anything, takanashi would understand.  this was just hiroto’s way to cope, to get through it all.  he thought he understood.  hands move to clench into fists as they rested in his lap, foot nervously bouncing against the floor as he sat in his chair.  he can’t hold it in anymore.  “what the fuck??”  the words snap out of him before he can really process what he’s saying.  face twists into a hurt expression, letting out a sigh.  “that’s really sweet coming from you.  you don’t handle things the best either, takanashi.  none of us do!!  i don’t understand why i’m the one being put on the spot here.”  the words are harsh, and he doesn’t really mean them.  but he knows that harsh words usually shut it down, make all of this stop.  they lead people to stop speaking to him, because they can’t stand it. 

   he huffs then, trying to ignore the hurt that he sees wash over his partners face.  he can’t do this anymore, his chest felt tight.  he couldn’t get a handle on his emotions.  so he stands abruptly, chair sliding out from under him.  “i thought you said you were always on my side, huh??  what happened to that??”  he speaks directly at takanashi before pausing, then glancing towards the whole group.  “all of you.”  he adds, before turning his back and walking towards the door.  “fuck this, i’m going to my room.”