#also beware of random reblogging sprees that will ensue soon-ish

[hithelleth]

The Originals 5 x 12 “The Tale of Two Wolves”

This got long, but it’s mostly just a recap, so I don’t forget everything, rather than meta, because this show is what it is and I’ll just end up shoving the bad somewhere out of my memory once it ends instead of losing my energy to perpetual rants. I’ve already said what I had to multiple times before.

So, to find a solution for Hope’s predicament, Klaus decided they take a trip to Mystic Falls with Elijah as her babysitter. Which was such a great idea, not stressing her out at all, but Elijah’s the only one Klaus trusts – which was nice to hear, still, after everything.

Ah, so we do remember that the Crescents can control transformation – but apparently with the exception of the first one. Okie dokie.

The way this show is pulling twists to their mythology this season. I swear.

The SBH has a lot of tales of Klaus being the big bad wolf. Although, Elijah did his fair share of damage, but no mention of that, eh?

Oh, Klaus has a ‘genius’ self-sacrificial plan that involves Caroline’s witch daughters to syphon the dark magic from Hope into him and then he would allow them to implement the long ago forged plans of chaining, cementing, and throwing him in the Atlantic.

You want to tell me that Elijah would walk past the office of Elena Gilbert, pardon, Salvatore, MD, and not drop by to say hello? Pfffft.

Also apparently she has a plaque to commemorate her death in the moonstone ritual?

And more horror stories about Mikael, because of course. While Elijah reminisces of their old home.

Hope got asked out on a date by a painfully oblivious boy who mistook Elijah for Mr. Marshall. She turned him down because she is going to be dead soon.

LOL, Josie and Lizzie are negotiating their help with getting new cell phones, a permission to go out, and striking the school skirt length rule.

Caroline gave in to maybe going out and yes to the skirt rule. A+

And then just as Klaus was about to ‘patiently, kindly, and without even a hint of a temper or frustration’ (Gah, this was best! The boy is whipped!) explain what he needs, Alaric shot him with a crossbow, because of course. Damn, it, Ric! And then he threw him into the cellar. UGH.

Yeah, Hope isn’t dumb enough to not figure out she’s dying. And she thinks it might be for the best because she wasn’t supposed to exist, as the universe has been trying to kill her since before she was born and she knew might die when she took the power back.

In the meantime Hope’s wannabe suitor, Landon, was being bullied by some jocks who didn’t even pay their entire bull, but Elijah tipped very generously – as is the Mikaelsons’ way – instead and then let Hope drive his Bentley.

She followed the bullies to the school parking lot and busted the chief bully’s car’s windows, Elijah-style, but with witchcraft. A+

Where the fuck has Klaus suddenly pulled out yet another last remaining white oak stake to be killed with after he absorbs the dark magic?

FFS, this mythology has gone completely off the rails.

And you say you can’t bring Hayley back, because ‘rules’. When there seem to be no more fucking rules!

Well, of course he secreted it away decades ago. Because in fiction we can retroactively fix the corners we wrote ourselves into by charming things in and out of existence when we want to. GRRRRRR.

Also Caroline lent him Stefan’s clothes since Ric ruined his. :( (I’d like a bit more acknowledgement at any point in this season of Stefan’s death, tho.)

And, yeah, Klaus has become a good farther/person.

Hope blames herself for Hayley’s death… Well, she’s definitely contributed a little bit, but my poor baby.  And of course she misses Hayley.

Then she fainted and her heart stopped, so she could cross over to the other world (IDK anymore, does the other side now exist or not? I guess it does?) where she saw Hayley and talkt to her and Hayley forgave her and told her to fight and live and she saw Hayley was at peace and not alone, hanging out with the dead Crescents, including her parents, Mary, and Jackson (yay!).

Well, that’s nice. Still sucks that she died at all, though.

At least Hope got to say goodbye to her.

Of course Klaus is not telling her the truth about his intentions to sacrifice himself or she wouldn’t go for it.

Hope and Elijah also bonded over having too many responsibilities too early in their lives. And she told him about seeing Hayley and Hayley telling her she’s still waiting for that dance (meh). *scowls*

Then Hope did get a date with Landon after all. 👍

Well, everyone is riff-raff in comparison to a Mikaelson. ;)

Caroline told Klaus about her visit to NOLA to search for him when she was in trouble, because he wasn’t the villain of her story.

Look at Klaus not being homicidal at his daughter dancing with a townie!

Of course Elijah figured it out and offered his life for Klaus’s, but Klaus wouldn’t have it. And his plan worked with the episode ending on a cliff-hanger just before he’d plunge the white oak stake in his heart with Elijah looking and asking him not to do it (we know from the promo pics for the finale that he doesn’t, though, but I’m still afraid he won’t survive.)

(Also, I think I’ll only be able to properly enjoy Klaroline once the show is over and I can forget/re-headcanon the shitty parts. But thanks for giving to fodder for later feels, I guess. ;))