#also because i am a frail being not made for summer and get heat sickness in <10 minutes but mostly because of tomato smell

[mossiestpiglet]

curse of growing tomatoes i touch those plants one time and my hands smell like them the whole rest of the day fuck me

[sadbiitchtiff]

Like Vines, We Intertwine Chapter Four Jon awoke the next morning feeling ill. He thinks it must be all of that sweet wine he drank the night before with Lord Tyrion. He could down ale all day at the wall but a few sips of Dornish wine and he was done for. As he raises his head he thinks about how big of a mistake he made offering the Queen a marriage. She could very well tell him no, she could sentence him to die right there, but Jon didn't really worry that it would happen. Not really. He was worried more than anything that she would agree. As he makes his way down the great hall passed the throne room he finds himself face to face with Lord Varys. “Ah, the King in The North.” He smiles, adjusting his hands in front of him. “You do bare a striking resemblance to your father, Ned Stark. Its almost eerie.” Jon nods. He was pleased by the statement, but he didn't trust this man as far as he could throw him. “The Queen requests your presence in the Chamber of The Painted table.” Jon nods again, following Varys as he makes his way down the dark hall. “I have yet to get used to the damp and dark halls of Dragonstone,” he begins, reaching for a candle. “I'm sure it’s a far cry from King's Landing.” Jon remarks. “Very much so.” Varys agrees, walking a little faster down the long hallway. Jon takes a deep breath, he was ready to get this ordeal over with. The Queen rises from her seat, and Lord Tyrion nods at Jon when he sees him. A silent gesture that what they spoke about the night before has been provided to the Queen. His job was done. Tyrion thinks as he follows Lord Varys from the room, leaving the two of them alone. Jon looks upon the Queen with guarded brown eyes. He doesn't know exactly what he should say and he finds himself feeling a little nervous. Here she was, this beautiful woman who he might marry. A strong and capable Queen, a leader and a savior. “Lord Tyrion has told me of your proposal Jon Snow.” He nods. “You understand the political matter here Your Grace.” She nods, looking down at the map. “What is it,” she asks, “what is it that is so great about the North?” Jon takes a step forward. “I cannot begin to explain that to you.” A small smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. “We shall be wed in Winterfell?” He nods. “Aye. But I must return and tell my people of this plan.” “And how do I know this isn’t a trick? How do I know I can trust you?” Jon takes a breath, looking into her eyes. “I didn't know if I could trust you when you asked for my presence here. My people warned me against it. But I chose to put my trust in a stranger, I chose to come here, to you. Because I knew we could help each other in the wars to come.” Daenerys seems pleased with this statement and finally allows herself to smile at him. “I will follow once you send word. I look forward to meeting your sister.” Jon nods, trying to hide the pain he feels in his chest at the mention of Sansa. She may never speak to him after she discovered the truth. “I will set sail within the fortnight, Your Grace.” She nods, taking a few steps closer to him. Her eyes were full of curiosity, but at the same time they were guarded. A mirror image of his own he assumed. Jon can't stop himself from looking at her, from admiring her. She was strikingly beautiful up close like this. Her eyes the color of a summer sky, her skin porcelain and pure. She looked as if she had been carved from stone. An artist took their time on her face, and it was breathtaking. Maybe, he thinks, this is what he needs to drive away these sinful thoughts he had about his sister. “May I ask you a question Jon Snow?” He nods. “When you first came here, Ser Davos said you took a knife in the heart for your people.” Jon nods, an amused smile playing on his lips. “Ser Davos gets carried away.” “So it was a figure of speech?” she asks, looking into his eyes. Jon doesn't know how to answer. He very well can’t go around telling everyone that he was brought back from the dead. What was so special about him? Why did he deserve a second chance at life and other, greater men were never afforded that chance? “I must get to the caves Your Grace. I want to finish mining before I have to leave.” She nods. “I will begin to prepare for my journey.” Jon looks at her with a small smile. She was to be his wife, this beautiful creature who was looking up at him with these soft hazel eyes. She looked almost frail standing there, but of course Jon knew that wasn't true. “I am glad you agreed to the terms, my Queen.” She nods. “I do need to form alliances here in Westeros, marriage is the most solid and practical way to do so.” Jon nods, leaning in closer. He could see her tough exterior falter, she was nervous around him. It was plain to see. And yes, maybe this wasn't an honorable thing to do, using this attraction that she had for him to get what he wanted, but Jon was running out of options. It wasn't like he wasn't feeling some of what she was feeling either. He would be a fool not to. As they leaned closer, the air around them charged with these feelings Jon let himself feel them for the first time. He had been so adamant about holding it back, he did not wish to be attracted to her. Because there was someone else. But he could not have her, not really, not in the way he could have the Queen. Their lips meet in a heated embrace. Ice and fire coming together in a storm. It left them both reeling. Daenerys stood there with her eyes closed, her blood boiling from the way he held her and the savage way he took her mouth as if it was always his. She was having trouble finding her bearings. “I must get to work,” She nods, her eyes slowly opening and looking into his. “You must,” she agrees. Jon nods, a quick kiss planted on her cheek as he turns to leave. He hated himself for enjoying that. As he stepped away from his wife to be Jon offered her a calm smile, and went on his way. He passed her guards out in the hall, escorting a man towards the room he just left. But Jon has no time to ponder what is going on. In all honesty he did not care. He was a man split in half. A man with two hearts and both of them felt heavy in hos chest as he made his way towards the caves. He needed to tear something apart. Something physical to do to distract him from the pain in his chest. … Sansa signed her name on the bottom of her letter to Jon. She had finally found the right words to tell him that their siblings had returned to Winterfell. She also made sure to leave out how lost she felt without him, even though it was what she wanted him to know most of all. She simply put this: Please return home to us, we all need you now more than ever. She hoped that would convey enough to him. For so long since they had been reunited it had felt like it was them against the world. She had let herself lean on Jon more than she had anyone, maybe in her entire life. Sansa rolls it neatly and pours the dark green wax on the parchment and sealing it with her Stark stamp sealing it. She would deliver it to Maester Wolken at once, the sooner it arrived the better. The last letter she received from Jon was brief. He promised her he was safe and assured her he would return home soon. Sansa doesn't know why she expected more. There were so many more important things they both had to deal with than missing the other, but Sansa only hoped he did miss her. Had he grown tired of her? Did he see her as the same silly girl who teased him and ridiculed him for being a bastard? She knows deep down that isn't really true but she could not diminish the thoughts. It was like a sickness growing inside of her, an unease. She felt as if she had lost her truest companion. Shaking her head Sansa gathers her thoughts. She picks up her scroll and heads towards the Great Hall to deliver the letter to the Maester and get it on its way. She passes his room on the way. Her entire body grows stiff. Sansa can recall with such clarity the first night she ever came to his room. A nightmare still fresh in her memory, she swore she could feel his hands on her, the smell of his sour breath next to her ear. She knew Ramsay was long dead, but that didn't make this nightmare less real. She had ran to his chambers, holding her cloak, the one he'd given her at Castle Black to keep warm, the one she refused to part with even after a finer one bad been made for her. Her hands were shaking as she knocked on his door. She just needed to see his face to be okay. She needed him to remind her that she was safe. He opened the door quickly. His eyes focusing on her. In her state she knew she must have looked mad but Jon only reached for her, tugging her into the warmth of his room. His hands caressed her face, he wiped the tears from her cheeks and smoothed her sweaty hair down. “Is everything okay.” Sansa shook her head, her eyes tearing up as she looked into his eyes. She noticed then that he was only in his night shirt, which was untied enough to reveal some of his scar, the one that killed him. Absently she reached to touch it. Jon caught her hand, his eyes pained as he took a step back from her. “Did you have another nightmare?” These were not uncommon, he had woke up to her screaming the first night at Castle Black, and he stood watch outside her door, much to Brienne’s dismay. Jon was used to these episodes. “He killed you.” She whispers. “He plunged his knife right into your heart and took you away from me.” He breathed in sharply, his eyes still full of pain. “I'm right here Sansa.” Remembering herself suddenly she wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I know it was just a dream, but it felt so real.” He reached for her hand, squeezing it softly. “Let me take you back to your room.” “No.” she almost yelled. The thought of leaving him scared her more than anything. Jon only nodded, he knew what she wanted. This was not something he afforded her often. But he could never really tell her no when she came knocking. They both knew it was wrong, but they found comfort in the other. A comfort nothing and no one else in the world ever offered them. She's staring at his door, wishing that somehow she could open it and find him sitting there. “Lady Stark.” Sansa recognizes Brienne's voice right away. Her faithful guard, her friend. Brienne had vowed her sword to her Lady mother and swore to protect her daughters. “I was just on my way to Maester Wolken,” Brienne nods, looking at the door her Lady had just been staring at. “You must miss him.” She offers, her voice kind. Sansa had an inkling that Brienne was suspicious of her feelings for Jon. She wondered if she could somehow read her thoughts. She hides her blushing face with her hair and holds her chin up high as she makes her way down the hall. “I do.” “I wanted to speak with you My Lady, about what you saw in the courtyard with your sister and I…” Sansa stops and looks back at her. “She is a very good fighter.” “She is.” Brienne nods. “I hope I didn't offend you My Lady, you left in such a haste I thought you might…” She shakes her head. “It only frightened me to see that my little sister has become such a skilled fighter.” Brienne nods. She looked as if she understood completely what Sansa meant. She was so good at reading people, its something Sansa admired about her. “I understand how she survived so long without anyone's help.” “If I may, My Lady. King Jon did decree that every man woman and child prepare for this battle. I wanted the honor of training with you myself.” “With me?” Sansa almost laughs. She had never even picked up a sword, let alone yielded one the way Brienne and Arya had. “I'm afraid I am no good at such things.” “That is why we must practice.” Sansa smiles. “I am very busy.” Another nod. “Yes My Lady, I just I wanted you to know I would be honored to teach you.” “Thank you very much Lady Brienne, but I must get this letter off at once. If you see Arya please tell I would like to speak with her.” She bows, leaving her with a sharp smile. Sansa can see Maester Wolken coming towards her as Brienne leaves. She hoped she wouldn't have to look long for him. He is pushing Bran in his chair, whose eyes seem to focus on her as they approach. “I have a letter for Jon.” Maester Wolken nods, taking the parchment from her. “Your brother seeks council with you Lady Stark.” Sansa looks down at Bran. “Is everything okay?” His eyes shift slowly around and he looks up at her. “I would like to speak to you privately.” Sansa nods, walking behind him and pushing him down the long corridor. “The Godswood.” He tells her softly. Sansa manages to get him through the snow and by the Weirwood tree. He uncovers his hands and laces his fingers together, his brown eyes look up at her and he motions for her to sit. “Did something happen to Jon?” her voice is pained on its way out and she can't help but feel as if she might be sick. “No.” Bran tells her quickly. “Jon is safe.” A breath of relief escapes her. “You must listen to me very carefully, Sansa.” He urges. “There is something sinister happening behind your back, and you must be very careful.” “Bran?” “Arya doesn't trust you, and you must make her trust you before its too late.” Sansa shakes her head. “Before its too late for what Bran?” “She doesn't believe you are loyal to Jon, she thinks you want the North for yourself.” Sansa gasps. “But I…” “Littlefinger.” He says. “He wants you to take him as a husband. He wants to unite your houses. Tell him yes.” “Bran,” He leans closer. “Make him think he is getting what he wants.” Sansa takes a deep breath. “Where is Arya?” “Arya is not Arya right now.” But Sansa has no idea what he means by this. It almost frightens her, she rises up from the ground and looks at Bran, waiting for an explanation she knows she will never receive. “I would like to sit for a while.” He tells her. “My visions become clearer in the Godswood.” Sansa nods. “I'll send Maester Wolken out for you in a few.” He nods, and Sansa leaves him there. She felt crushed, as if the life was slowly leaving her body. She felt as if everything was slowly spinning out of control and she feared more than anything that she wasn't strong enough to stop it.

[placesthatchangedpeople]

A stay at the Thayer Learning Center

This testimony was found on the message board belonging to HEAL-online. All rights goes to the author

(Too long of an intro?) Skip down to the time I arrived and read from there.

One summer day I was alerted to headlights coming up the driveway, little did I know what was about to happen.

I looked out the window in my bedroom and saw headlights pulling into the driveway, this is unusual as my family at the time lived in a remote ranch area with only a few neighbors nearby also it was around 4:00 Am in the morning.

I run into the house and alert my parents that there is a vehicle pulling into the driveway (my memory is a little blurry so bear with me) my parents get up quickly and pretend to not know what's going on, I go to the back door to see who was coming up the driveway and my dad rushes to the front door of the house and blocks the entrance, as I make my way to the back room where the back door is located to my surprise, a transporter is waiting outside the door, or blocking it, (unable to remember which) then another transporter comes from the other side blocking me in (he came in the front door) They do this boxing in method just in case the subject (me) decided to try and run.

So we're all in the back room, one of the transporters tells me to put on my shoes, so I comply after asking what was going on I'm very confused at this point, but my body is in no condition to run, I literally looked like one of those Ethiopian children you see in pictures, ribs sticking out, all skin a bones.

Anyway, I am transported to their car and I am told to get in the back seat, passenger side, so I comply.

I remember looking out the door before they shut it and my mother telling me that I am going away for awhile, I think her and I both cried.

The door was shut and my parents and the transporters talk briefly and away we go to the Reno airport to catch a plane. I was mostly quiet for the trip, I do remember asking one question "Where am I going?" I got a brief "Boarding school comment" from one of the transporters, So I thought to myself, well, I guess a little adventure couldn't hurt, since I was withering away anyway. Bear in mind I had had no sleep the night before, and my adrenaline and curiosity was at peak so I was not able to sleep at all during the trip.

We arrive at the Reno-Tahoe International Airport and board a plane, so I use the restroom real quick and away we go.

Our plane departs and we land in Las Vegas to switch flights to Kansas City, MO.

We had to wait for a little while for our flight to prepare, so while we were waiting one of the transporters (shortish white guy, brown hair)starts to play some sort of video poker close to where we were sitting, I think the native guy asks me if I would like to have something to eat, a slice of pizza or something and he tells me "this is the last time for awhile that you will have an opportunity to have this kind of food" But I respectfully decline his offer as I was not hungry. (depressed people have trouble eating)

Both guys were fairly nice to me.

The time comes to board our flight, so we start heading for the terminal to board the plane, to be honest I kinda felt like a bad ass because I had two guys who looked like body guards standing around me at all times.

We board the plane and lift off to Kansas City International Airport.

We arrive, get off the plane and walk to the rent-a-car booth, we head to the rental car and start to drive out of the city to the tiny town of Kidder.

As we pull up to the facility, I see the main building and feel sort of relived "this place doesn't look so bad" I say to myself, that is until we rounded the corner to the other side of the building. Fear strikes me in my mind as we pull up to a fenced off area "The Beach" we called it, to see 3 drill Sargents in black/white camo BDU wear and big round DSGT hats on the inside of the fence.

We enter the fenced off area and immediately after entering my intake started.

I was yelled at, screamed at, billed in the face.

They started going over making me learn the 10 general orders of the program.

every time I messed up they would make me run a down and back to the end building and back. I eventually got tired of this and got a wild hair and got a little disobedient, as soon as those words left my mouth I was on the ground with 3 drill Sargents tying me into pretzel, one of them sat on my back I think it was DSGT "H1", while one of the other started to bend my legs up and backwards, DSGT "H2" bending my spine in the opposite direction it is suppose to go. Now bear in mind I am very frail due to the condition my body was in, I was so afraid they were going to break my back and I was in a lot of pain, so I pretended to have a seizure to get them to stop, I rolled my eyes into the back of my head and started jerking my body around as if I were having a seizure.

I think I scared them because they got off me immediately and let me lay there for awhile, deciding what they should do next.

They decided to wrap up my intake and took me into the building, they told me to take off all my clothes, one of the JR. Staff, A cadet that was about to finish the program turned on the shower and I was instructed to get in it, everyone still yelling at me of course, but not interacting with me physically. So after that is over, I am in a state of shock at this point so I don't remember much after that point besides going down to requisitions and getting a bin full of clothes and other items I needed as a Cadet and they placed me in Bravo bay. That day my entire bay was punished because I wasn't able to do a single pushup, due to them tearing a muscle in my elbow, also I had very little muscle mass if any at all.

That night I fell into catatonic state, I'm not sure how long I was in that state, but all I remember was looking up at the camera and the ceiling.

Eventually, I start to get stronger and learn the ropes.

A short while later my legs begin to swell like balloons, I kept putting it on my sick report, but it took about a week, maybe longer to get it looked at by an EMT, during that week I was unable to run or do the exercises properly, the Sargents kept making comments about my legs to each other "no wonder he can't run, his legs are swelled up like balloons" and laughing to each other making jokes and nasty comments, at one point one of the Sargents put his boot on my chest and let his weight down on top of me, looked me in the eyes and smiled evilly, knowing there was nothing I could do about it.

When my family rep finally took me to the hospital the doctors ran tests on my legs to see if I had any blood clots, they wanted to do more tests and keep me over night, but the EMT at the time (I'm not really sure she was even qualified to put a band-aid on an injury) threw a fit over it, so I wasn't able to get checked out further. (Which I should have because my legs were swelled up, they were huge!) They ended up putting me on no lower body P.T and called it good, basically told me to drink water and get over my drama. The Sargent that stepped on my chest, ignored the doctor sticker on my canteen and made me do lower body P.T anyway. That guy was mean.

I wanted to tell the doctors to help me and that they were abusing us, but I was so afraid of what they would have done to me when I got back to camp.

I suppose it has something to do with Stockholm syndrome. I think they actually used Stockholm syndrome and fear as a cover, they has us zombified, terrified and broken.

Eventually, I finally got stronger and was able to do all of the exercises, they became more of an annoyance when the pain tolerance built up and a fit body made the constant nonstop exercise easier. I kind of want to say I just got used to it, but I'm not sure if that would be the right words to use.

I want to go over a list here to tell what I witnessed and experienced at Thayer Learning Center

During my stay, I noticed that they broke 3 cadets wrists. They lied to parents about injuries related to abuse. One particular Sargent there who was the wrist breaker was promoted for his extreme behavior modification techniques including the breaking of bones.

One day in the blistering heat we had to bear crawl everywhere we went, so when we went to the chow hall, and gym,(all separate buildings from male boot camp) the skin on our hands literally melted off on the sidewalk, everyone got bad blisters all over their hands.

Certain Cadets were singled out by Staff and Cadets, and were bullied more often than others. One cadet in particular got restrained at least once or twice a week. That I was witness to.

Lots of Cadets developed a foot fungus due to the latrine floor being covered in bacteria, we also did not have the privilege of having toilet seats on our toilets.

We slept in a basement with bugs and spiders everywhere, the walls leaked, so when it rained the boot camp basement bays Alpha and Bravo became partially flooded and our sleeping bags, clothes would get wet.

At one point during the program I tried to break my ankle so that I could escape the torment, so I ran up the catwalk in the gym when the Sargent wasn't looking and jumped off, I landed on my feet and fell forward, as soon as one of the Sargents realized what I did, he immediately restrained me, pushing my neck into the floor, I was unable to breath and began screaming "Sir! I can't breath" through my crushed vocal cords and windpipe.

All he said was "STOP SAYING CAN'T!!" I thought I was going to die, I quit trying to breath and I was going to try and let myself slip out of consciousness, but at about the point I was passing out he got off of me. A cadet mentioned it later and said the sounds I was making sounded like I was being killed.

I was placed in isolation for a week or so I can't remember, and my neck was messed up for about a year after that, I think he did something to damage my spine, or the tendons in my neck when he restrained me.

When parents would show up, they would call "code white" over the radio, so the Sargent/Staff on duty would be aware that they were being watched, so they had us sit down and read, or do other activities in an attempt to keep the parents from knowing exactly what was going on there, to keep their horror house under wraps.

We were woken up in the middle of the night to exercise outside on the beach, or inside. Those were what we called "moon burns"

We had to sleep on 1/2 Inch thick green mats on top of the concrete floor.

When I finally got to residency, we were allowed one phone call per week with our parents, whenever I tried telling my mother that we were being abused, my family rep would switch off my phone, and take over the phone call (all of our calls were monitored live)

All of our letters were screened and judged according to a cadets psychological profile. whited out, or edited, not sent at all.

Every weekend we were allowed to sit on the concrete floor and watch a movie, we often had to watch the same movie over and over again as a means of psychological tactics. ("Aladdin" was favorite of the staff)

We had to listen to "Bram Stoker's Dracula" and repetitive motivational cassette tapes repeatedly over and over again, as means of psychological tactics.

Cadets who "acted up" were forced to sit in isolation for weeks at a time in a tent with a bright light, listening to the same motivational tapes over and over again, NOTE: they started putting cadets in empty bays instead of the tent for some reason.

If we were outside and a car drove by on the isolated road in front of the main building, we were instructed to face towards the building for who knows what reason.

I witnessed a Sargent punch a cadet in the face.

Whenever a cadet was restrained, the Sargent or JR. Staff would yell out grenade, which then we had to dive on the ground, and bury our face in our elbows and kick our legs as to not be witnesses to the event of the bodily assaults.

One female cadet in particular was made to stay there for years and be subject to the owners abusive drones we called Sargents.

I personally witnessed cadets urinate and a defecate themselves.

cadets who acted up, we were forced to mock them with a made up cadence all together that included their name to bully and shame them into obedience.

A cadet died there due to their neglect and abuse.

How these programs continue to flourish is anyone's guess Which is very concerning.

The only positive thing I have to say about this program is, had I not been sent, I may have died due to severe depression I was not eating and my body was withering away.

Basically, I was broken down completely, but never built back up.

These places are abusive, plain and simple.

Do not send your kids to these places.

I am a survivor and assure you that everything I have mentioned is true and correct and not exaggerated in any way to my knowledge.

You have my permission to post this on your website, I wish to remain Anonymous and am also using a VPN out of fear that the owners will retaliate against me in my adult life should they come across this posting even though the place has since shut down.

A death occured at the boot camp and the bad press coverage forced the owners to close. However, they were never prosecuted for their part in the tragic death

Sources:

Thayer Learning Center (What I saw and experienced) (The HEAL Forum)

Roberto Reyes - 2004 (Today a child died - memorial blog)

[placesthatchangedpeople]

A testimony from a Thayer Learning Center student

This testimony was found on HEAL-onlines messageboard. Thayer Learning Center closed down years ago but not before a student died there during this stay.

One summer day I was alerted to headlights coming up the driveway, little did I know what was about to happen.

I looked out the window in my bedroom and saw headlights pulling into the driveway, this is unusual as my family at the time lived in a remote ranch area with only a few neighbors nearby also it was around 4:00 Am in the morning.

I run into the house and alert my parents that there is a vehicle pulling into the driveway (my memory is a little blurry so bear with me) my parents get up quickly and pretend to not know what's going on, I go to the back door to see who was coming up the driveway and my dad rushes to the front door of the house and blocks the entrance, as I make my way to the back room where the back door is located to my surprise, a transporter is waiting outside the door, or blocking it, (unable to remember which) then another transporter comes from the other side blocking me in (he came in the front door) They do this boxing in method just in case the subject (me) decided to try and run.

So we're all in the back room, one of the transporters tells me to put on my shoes, so I comply after asking what was going on I'm very confused at this point, but my body is in no condition to run, I literally looked like one of those Ethiopian children you see in pictures, ribs sticking out, all skin a bones.

Anyway, I am transported to their car and I am told to get in the back seat, passenger side, so I comply.

I remember looking out the door before they shut it and my mother telling me that I am going away for awhile, I think her and I both cried.

The door was shut and my parents and the transporters talk briefly and away we go to the Reno airport to catch a plane. I was mostly quiet for the trip, I do remember asking one question "Where am I going?" I got a brief "Boarding school comment" from one of the transporters, So I thought to myself, well, I guess a little adventure couldn't hurt, since I was withering away anyway. Bear in mind I had had no sleep the night before, and my adrenaline and curiosity was at peak so I was not able to sleep at all during the trip.

We arrive at the Reno-Tahoe International Airport and board a plane, so I use the restroom real quick and away we go.

Our plane departs and we land in Las Vegas to switch flights to Kansas City, Missouri.

We had to wait for a little while for our flight to prepare, so while we were waiting one of the transporters (shortish white guy, brown hair)starts to play some sort of video poker close to where we were sitting, I think the native guy asks me if I would like to have something to eat, a slice of pizza or something and he tells me "this is the last time for awhile that you will have an opportunity to have this kind of food" But I respectfully decline his offer as I was not hungry. (depressed people have trouble eating)

Both guys were fairly nice to me.

The time comes to board our flight, so we start heading for the terminal to board the plane, to be honest I kinda felt like a bad ass because I had two guys who looked like body guards standing around me at all times.

We board the plane and lift off to Kansas City International Airport.

We arrive, get off the plane and walk to the rent-a-car booth, we head to the rental car and start to drive out of the city to the tiny town of Kidder.

As we pull up to the facility, I see the main building and feel sort of relived "this place doesn't look so bad" I say to myself, that is until we rounded the corner to the other side of the building. Fear strikes me in my mind as we pull up to a fenced off area "The Beach" we called it, to see 3 drill Sargents in black/white camo BDU wear and big round DSGT hats on the inside of the fence.

We enter the fenced off area and immediately after entering my intake started.

I was yelled at, screamed at, billed in the face.

They started going over making me learn the 10 general orders of the program.

Every time I messed up they would make me run a down and back to the end building and back. I eventually got tired of this and got a wild hair and got a little disobedient, as soon as those words left my mouth I was on the ground with 3 drill Sargents tying me into pretzel, one of them sat on my back I think it was DSGT "H1", while one of the other started to bend my legs up and backwards, DSGT "H2" bending my spine in the opposite direction it is suppose to go. Now bear in mind I am very frail due to the condition my body was in, I was so afraid they were going to break my back and I was in a lot of pain, so I pretended to have a seizure to get them to stop, I rolled my eyes into the back of my head and started jerking my body around as if I were having a seizure.

I think I scared them because they got off me immediately and let me lay there for awhile, deciding what they should do next.

They decided to wrap up my intake and took me into the building, they told me to take off all my clothes, one of the JR. Staff, A cadet that was about to finish the program turned on the shower and I was instructed to get in it, everyone still yelling at me of course, but not interacting with me physically. So after that is over, I am in a state of shock at this point so I don't remember much after that point besides going down to requisitions and getting a bin full of clothes and other items I needed as a Cadet and they placed me in Bravo bay. That day my entire bay was punished because I wasn't able to do a single pushup, due to them tearing a muscle in my elbow, also I had very little muscle mass if any at all.

That night I fell into catatonic state, I'm not sure how long I was in that state, but all I remember was looking up at the camera and the ceiling.

Eventually, I start to get stronger and learn the ropes.

A short while later my legs begin to swell like balloons, I kept putting it on my sick report, but it took about a week, maybe longer to get it looked at by an EMT, during that week I was unable to run or do the exercises properly, the Sargents kept making comments about my legs to each other "no wonder he can't run, his legs are swelled up like balloons" and laughing to each other making jokes and nasty comments, at one point one of the Sargents put his boot on my chest and let his weight down on top of me, looked me in the eyes and smiled evilly, knowing there was nothing I could do about it.

When my family rep finally took me to the hospital the doctors ran tests on my legs to see if I had any blood clots, they wanted to do more tests and keep me over night, but the EMT at the time (I'm not really sure she was even qualified to put a band-aid on an injury) threw a fit over it, so I wasn't able to get checked out further. (Which I should have because my legs were swelled up, they were huge!) They ended up putting me on no lower body P.T and called it good, basically told me to drink water and get over my drama. The Sargent that stepped on my chest, ignored the doctor sticker on my canteen and made me do lower body P.T anyway. That guy was mean.

I wanted to tell the doctors to help me and that they were abusing us, but I was so afraid of what they would have done to me when I got back to camp.

I suppose it has something to do with Stockholm syndrome. I think they actually used Stockholm syndrome and fear as a cover, they has us zombified, terrified and broken.

Eventually, I finally got stronger and was able to do all of the exercises, they became more of an annoyance when the pain tolerance built up and a fit body made the constant nonstop exercise easier. I kind of want to say I just got used to it, but I'm not sure if that would be the right words to use.

I want to go over a list here to tell what I witnessed and experienced at Thayer Learning Center

During my stay, I noticed that they broke 3 cadets wrists.

They lied to parents about injuries related to abuse. One particular Sargent there who was the wrist breaker was promoted for his extreme behavior modification techniques including the breaking of bones.

One day in the blistering heat we had to bear crawl everywhere we went, so when we went to the chow hall, and gym,(all separate buildings from male boot camp) the skin on our hands literally melted off on the sidewalk, everyone got bad blisters all over their hands.

Certain Cadets were singled out by Staff and Cadets, and were bullied more often than others. One cadet in particular got restrained at least once or twice a week. That I was witness to.

Lots of Cadets developed a foot fungus due to the latrine floor being covered in bacteria, we also did not have the privilege of having toilet seats on our toilets.

We slept in a basement with bugs and spiders everywhere, the walls leaked, so when it rained the boot camp basement bays Alpha and Bravo became partially flooded and our sleeping bags, clothes would get wet.

At one point during the program I tried to break my ankle so that I could escape the torment, so I ran up the catwalk in the gym when the Sargent wasn't looking and jumped off, I landed on my feet and fell forward, as soon as one of the Sargents realized what I did, he immediately restrained me, pushing my neck into the floor, I was unable to breath and began screaming "Sir! I can't breath" through my crushed vocal cords and windpipe.

All he said was "STOP SAYING CAN'T!!" I thought I was going to die, I quit trying to breath and I was going to try and let myself slip out of consciousness, but at about the point I was passing out he got off of me. A cadet mentioned it later and said the sounds I was making sounded like I was being killed.

I was placed in isolation for a week or so I can't remember, and my neck was messed up for about a year after that, I think he did something to damage my spine, or the tendons in my neck when he restrained me.

When parents would show up, they would call "code white" over the radio, so the Sargent/Staff on duty would be aware that they were being watched, so they had us sit down and read, or do other activities in an attempt to keep the parents from knowing exactly what was going on there, to keep their horror house under wraps.

We were woken up in the middle of the night to exercise outside on the beach, or inside. Those were what we called "moon burns"

We had to sleep on 1/2 Inch thick green mats on top of the concrete floor.

When I finally got to residency, we were allowed one phone call per week with our parents, whenever I tried telling my mother that we were being abused, my family rep would switch off my phone, and take over the phone call (all of our calls were monitored live)

All of our letters were screened and judged according to a cadets psychological profile - whited out, or edited, not sent at all.

Every weekend we were allowed to sit on the concrete floor and watch a movie, we often had to watch the same movie over and over again as a means of psychological tactics. ("Aladdin" was favorite of the staff)

We had to listen to "Bram Stoker's Dracula" and repetitive motivational cassette tapes repeatedly over and over again, as means of psychological tactics.

Cadets who "acted up" were forced to sit in isolation for weeks at a time in a tent with a bright light, listening to the same motivational tapes over and over again, NOTE: they started putting cadets in empty bays instead of the tent for some reason.

If we were outside and a car drove by on the isolated road in front of the main building, we were instructed to face towards the building for who knows what reason.

I witnessed a Sargent punch a cadet in the face.

Whenever a cadet was restrained, the Sargent or JR. Staff would yell out grenade, which then we had to dive on the ground, and bury our face in our elbows and kick our legs as to not be witnesses to the event of the bodily assaults.

One female cadet in particular was made to stay there for years and be subject to the owners abusive drones we called Sargents. I personally witnessed cadets urinate and a defecate themselves.

Cadets who acted up, we were forced to mock them with a made up cadence all together that included their name to bully and shame them into obedience.

A cadet died there due to their neglect and abuse.

How these programs continue to flourish is anyone's guess - Which is very concerning.

The only positive thing I have to say about this program is, had I not been sent, I may have died due to severe depression I was not eating and my body was withering away.

Basically, I was broken down completely, but never built back up.

These places are abusive, plain and simple.

Do not send your kids to these places.

I am a survivor and assure you that everything I have mentioned is true and correct and not exaggerated in any way to my knowledge.

You have my permission to post this on your website, I wish to remain Anonymous and am also using a VPN out of fear that the owners will retaliate against me in my adult life should they come across this posting even though the place has since shut down.