#also arajin picked the worst timing to confess this to matakara but good timing for the story lol

[certifiedlesbianvampire]

this week's episode was one that i've been looking forward to for a while, and while not perfect in execution, i still found it interesting, especially how it expanded on matakara and how his and arajin's fight played out.

arajin is a character that is guilty, that flees unless absolutely necessary not to, and would rather save face. he is a character that is meant to be unlikeable. contrast this with matakara, who is kind and considerate, helps his friends, and is willing to reach out, even if someone has hurt him. even their reasons for fighting could be pit against each other: arajin wants to fight to lose his virginity, and matakara wants to fight for his brother, arajin, and his friends.

the difference between arajin’s idealization of mahoro and matakara’s idealization of arajin is that, at the very least, you’re meant to make fun of/laugh at arajin- because you're not supposed to like him. matakara’s idealization of arajin is not put in a comedic light, because you're made to sympathize with him; you're meant to root for him. another example of a character who idealizing another person: mahoro. mahoro is self-aware she’s delusional. she’s self aware her brother doesn’t want her, and because she is so weird about him, her brother doesn’t open up to her as a result. but even mahoro (as much as i hate the brocon thing) can recognize it'll never happen. she still has her core values that don't stem from her brother.

arajin and matakara idealize people for two similar reasons. arajin is in love with the idea of mahoro, because she represents what is expected of arajin, a guy who wants to be un notable because he believes he can’t do more.

matakara idealizes arajin, because arajin represents the simpler, ideal life, the best life one can live as honki person, one that he strives toward. he idolizes arajin because he himself needs something to cling onto after his brother is gone.

matakara and arajin are two characters both stuck in the past. they both keep ideals from their childhood; because arajin couldn’t protect matakara, he believes he is weak and cannot do more than that on his own. matakara believes that since arajin wanted to become honkibito together, he would still want the same deep down and it’s him who’s weak.

matakara puts his faith in people, even if it hurts him. arajin doesn't put his faith in people, but he gets hurt because he doesn't trust anyone. both put their faith in different things because they don't trust themselves, so they let others dictate it for them. both are stubborn about their beliefs, yet fragile, and it hurts them when they are questioned so they double down on it.

arajin is an asshole, hell, he's a bad friend, but he never lied about his motives. matakara seeing their relationship through rose-tinted glasses and arajin being detached harms the both of them; it prevents their relationship from progressing any further.

arajin is *partially right, he is not is not what matakara thinks he is: the ideal matakara holds for himself and him. one of the key things that is first emphasized about honki people is that, "they don't run away." this is what arajin has been doing all this time. even then, arajin has not been tricking matakara in any capacity, because matakara has an idea of what arajin is, and clings to it for support.

*arajin didn’t lie back then about wanting to be honki people together, but since he believes he can’t do more for matakara (he’s used to running away) he avoids confrontation about it. matakara’s used these ideals as support so basically it’s like his beliefs were a lie

arajin is no longer the ideal that matakara saw in his childhood. now that matakara's ideals are shattered, he is vunerable to akutaro's & ichiya's manipulation.

i do think arajin and matakara are capable of being friends. however, they both need time and space to process their emotions. it’s shown that they can look out for each other, but one is overly committed (to an ideal version of the other) and the other is not. they need to find a middle ground to understand each other. i love their relationship because they're made out to be so different, yet they're so similar. i love how messy they both are, and i'm so excited to see how their relationship could possibly contrast ichiya/senya's. more importantly, i can't wait to see how their relationship develops/spirals from here.