#also appreciate me totally bullshitting that I have any idea how to make backgrounds lmao

[dragon-and-balls]

"...You and I as Us

Perfectly imperfect..." -Wyatt

[tiffgeorgina]

alright trailer thoughts

watch it here slutties: https://twitter.com/SHOBlackMonday/status/1216778009044291585

1) HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT’S HERE THIS FEELS SURREAL

2) HOLYYY SHITTTT

3) but actually let’s get it. this song bangs showtime stays on their excellent editing.

4) trying to analyze showtime’s trailers is like trying to grab smoke so this is going to be extremely barebones for a while. 

5) somebody drives off with the busted up limbo, but we can’t tell who it is yet bc their face never comes into view. they’re wearing a gray suit tho, so it may become more obvious who it is once the episode itself is out.

6) mo is being dramatic asf which as of 1x10 is perfectly in character lmfao

7) bro what the FUCK did you do to your hair i gotta ask fuck the 80s. also there’s this character on IMDb tagged “Vanessa (hair like mo)” so that makes more sense now maybe?

8) establishing shots that almost make me think mo is hiding out in california. since we know his orphanage story is bullshit, maybe he’s visiting family? maybe this is where that marcus wainright iii character comes in? since i dont think he’s in the trailer?

9) keith is living. almost has out-of-the-closet energy. i bet that scene of him roller skating is either after a) he comes out to his wife and divorces her or b) he gets a call from mo and flies straight out to cali to meet up with him.

10) the editing is so good you guys holy shit they jsut never quit over there do they?

11) a shot of mo in some suburb. could be a family member or a friend’s house? which again leads me to think he’s in california.

12) there’s this TV show called “America’s Most Unsolved Crimes” that mo shows up on bc he’s being solely blamed for the crash. how dawn and blair managed to avoid any blame whatsoever is beyond me, but mo is an excellent scapegoat since he confessed on record. no idea who the guy sitting on the desk talking about him is tho, since he wasn’t announced as one of the new guest stars. probably just a one off. maybe this is where “reenactment dawn” comes in from the IMDb page?

13) mo is bringing back the 70s and i do not like it. when i said the 80s were cool bc nobody knew how to dress themselves This Is Not What I Meant.

14) he wouldn’t just casually play basketball with some random kids, these are probably either his cousins or his nephews or the kids of a friend. again leads me to believe he’s in california, possibly visiting marcus? it would make sense. either that or we finally get some real concrete background on mo that isn’t total bullshit.

15) keith is in contact with mo. it’s hard to tell if keith went to cali to see mo or if mo came to NY seeing as both are extremely suspicious. assuming mo is in cali that is. keith is definitely going to get mo back in the game. speaking of mo, this entire first 30 seconds is Mo-centric, so i bet mo’s arc is going to be plottier than blair or dawn’s in 1“A” (showtime doesn’t really have A and B arcs for this show bc there’s no midseason hiatus i just like the terminology)

16) throwback thursday lmfao

17) no idea who this guy shooting/probably fake shooting is?? like no idea. could be nothing of importance and just a transition filler/tone setting moment.

18) the heat is on motherfucker! let’s get this cat and mouse shit im ready for it!

19) here we go here’s dawn. back at the jammer group. back at DAWN AS THE PRESIDENT HIRING A BUNCH OF WOMEN???????? BIIIIIITTTTCCCCHHHH I LOVE TO SEE IT. INCLUDING DEANNA CHENG (she’s friends with casey which means she’s friends with half the cast we should’ve known she wasn’t going anywhere) AKA THE SALES CLERK WHO HARASSED DAWN IN 1X02????? YES BITHC

20) then wayne and yassir fucking it up (nice facial hair wayne it’s hideous kjsfkjdhg) and the women throwing paper at him??? LKJRHGKLJSERH????

21) blair and tiff dressed up??? guys. they’re going to some rich people gala thing. this is what i was talkinf about. im almost certain this is how blair and harris meet. their wives are gonna see each other after not having spoken in years bc of whatever but they used to be friends so they go to talk and the husbands and dragged along and *closet case to closet case communication sounds*

22) ok now BLAIR’S on the exercise craze? i thought that was just gonna be dawn like in s1 also how long is this exercise montage in the show bc there are some things a god fearing lesbian shouldn’t have to see. this weird mirror talking shit feels like voyeurism from this perspective i feel like i shouldn’t be seeing this.

23) she’s still topping him??? after all that??? aight yk it’s part of the dynamic

24) tiff is wearing the same dress in “you do, hunk” as she is in the bit where they get out of the limo and deal with the paparazzi so i presume that workout scene is immediately before that gala thing im establishing a #timeline

25) the skants reveal??? we call that PLOT DEVELOPMENT i love a good callback to the first season

26) the shocked gasp i can’t tell if it’s good or bad. also does this mean tiff’s starting her own company? since georgina is liquid?

27) larry telling dawn that mo’s on his way back for revenge? spliced with mo staring at the wall like he so frequently does while smoking? mayhaps this editing went off also i never thought i’d say this but the brotherfucker has a point mo is gonna pop off when he sees yall again

28) FBI wyd........ that’s a lot

29) that falling out last season bit: blair’s definitely talking about tiff’s parents, and im almost certain andrew flubbed right there and improvised over it by saying “autumn.” well im appreciative of that bc a) it’s funny and b) it indicates when this is going on a bit. it’s not like we’re two years in the future or anything. this is probably gonna start a couple of months after the crash and that’s it.

30) no idea who blair is talking to tho since i can’t see the woman’s face. could be one of tiff’s friends? idk. also nice hair tiff

31) that ball spinning around like a gumball in a machine? weird transition but aight. also immediately after, dawn is in the lehman office, again no idea why. probably the same scene as larry telling her that mo is plotting his revenge but idk why she’s there.

32) that shot of a plane coming into JFK? now im near certain that mo is in cali it would make so much sense please showtime just MAKE SENSE. 

33) confetti and mo’s entrance? you know what it’s what i should’ve expected tbh it’s all so delightfully in character EDIT: THE CONFETTI IS NOT BEFORE MO’S ENTRANCE. YOU CAN SEE DAWN’S CLOTHES CHANGE COLOR, IT WAS JUST AN EDITING TRICK.

34) mo’s just gonna pull up, zero fucks, in the middle of the day. much different than how i thought this scene would go, with a lot of betrayal and drama involved instead of this bitch just pulling up. now idek if dawn and mo are in contact before this, when before i was almost certain they would be.

35) what blair says here is definitely not the first thing he says when mo walks in, i can tell from the editing. also im near certain that blair doesn’t say “bro.” it sounds edited in/done in post (his voice pitches up a lot there when that’s usually a beat when your voice would fall), so i wouldn’t be surprised if blair curses a lot there and they just had to edit it to stay in the green band. 

36) ol polluted waterfall lookin ass jshgkjfdhg mo quit lying that hairstyle is not popular fuck off

37) im loving this tagging order tbh. paul scheer getting tagged in the trailer is just. what he deserves. do we consider keith a protagonist now? he’s in all the promo material by name and face now.

38) regina and andrew look so good god yes also the editing is so GOOD fuck

39) keith (hand holding emoji) blair

        getting hit by random vehicles

40) NO THE LIMBO FUCK SHIT THESE CARS WERE NOT MEANT TO LAST almost looks deliberate :eyes emoji:

41) what’s keith doing with this barbershop quartet wtf

42) almost certain that’s tiff singing? based on 1x09 this oughta be good lmao

43) THE HEEL CLICKING IS TAKING ME OUT HGKJDHFGKJFD. could this be mo and marcus? who knows?

44) look at all the cash wtf what’s all that cash for? ah shit here we go again

45) tiff entering another dimension followed by dawn doing what is certainly a mountain of coke? kind of poetic cinema ok

46) ok dawn’s wearing that green suit again from my icon so??? what does it mean what does it all mean

47) who is mo squaring up with tf? is this marcus? i can’t tell in this lighting maybe it’s fake shooting guy idk also where the fuck are they? some party? but not a rich ppl thing just a thing? idk

48) guys. we have it. the fucking airdate. i have been stanning since the first fucking episode almost a year ago today and finally we have an airdate. respect to the new stans but yall dont know what seven and a half months of network radio silence in regards to your current obsession feels like. @hatimbinaba msged me and said we had a date and the shot of adrenaline i felt was like nothing else. serotonin is currently stored in the black monday and now the serotonin is stored in the ME. Sunday, March 15, 2020, 10 pm motherfuckers. put that shit on the calendar. also looks like we have a slightly earlier timeslot which is nice.

49) and to top (ahah) it all off we have blair just straight up gay panicking at the end. that’s definitely tuc and june and if yall have been following yall would know that tuc is playing blair’s love interest and june is playing tuc’s wife so this is all very jghsrkjghs im rly excited for this scene. no way of knowing if this is before or after blair and harris get together but it’s still kshgkdjhgdkj. rich people golfing? more like rich people existing lmao. also where’s that onion video i need to find the onion video fuck this is just like the onion said would happen. i will post it and make memes later. 

50) then blair just gets hit??? by the golfcart?? and there’s this scream that is definitely not the scream of andrew, tuc or june so??? whose scream was that??? did they add that shit in post??? tf???? also tuc and june barely flinching is really decapitating me kjshkrjdg

51) there’s no way of knowing if tiff is also at the golf course, but if she isn’t? then it’s just blair and his canon love interest and canon love interest’s wife???? which is so funny “hey come play golf with me” “oh is anyone else coming?” “ya my wife” “you’re so stupid i have to question how you’re even still alive”

52) WHEEWWWW AND THAT’S IT YALL!!! BUT A COUPLE MORE THINGS. some distinct absences: no known shot of marcus (which is wack yall would think they would want to plug the hell out of dulé hill) and very few shots of harris and corky. why. promote your newcomers some more tf.

anyways that’s all on this long ass post. @ mutuals expect more freakouts xx love yall this is unedited just raw emotion

[jlf23tumble]

Episode 27 means there’s just one left (for now, duh duh DUH, let’s get those trombones good and fired up). I know I’m alone, but I’m gonna miss this garbage show because I’m gonna miss the SHIT out of fresh Louis (and Dermot, lbr) content twice weekly, so I decided to celebrate the penultimate episode by getting drunk with Sandy (one of my oldest, dearest friends, someone who’s not in this fandom but who watched the first six seasons of American Idol and has already gone on record as saying that Louis is way cute) and liveblogging her reactions (in quotes below). She made martinis and G&Ts with fancy-pants gin, which feels weirdly British to me, so let’s go! I’ll do tomorrow’s final ep sober, rip.

I’m still not over seeing red ribbons on this homophobic garbage fest or the fact that people don’t seemingly know what they represent, but why is everyone BUT Ayda wearing one tonight? Louis wearing a red ribbon makes me so weak; ditto Dermot.

“That’s Dermot??? He’s cuuuuute!” (Sandy’s from Woostah, so when she’s drunk, her accent is even more chowd than usual.)

“Ugh, Simon, gross, he looks like he just came out of a guttah, what's with the hair, what happened here???” Behold, beauty and the beast, and this doesn’t do justice to the weird eye wiggling from Simon in Louis’s direction, godddd, he’s the worst:

Robbie does some kind of sad medley with the losers, and why do I have to see Bella again, but Sandy nails it: “Yeah, we’re the lou-sahs, oh, here we ah… we've got big white sneakahs on, that’s who we ah.” And even from this intro, Sandy, who’s immediately team Dalton from the five seconds he’s showcased, doesn’t get why Ant’ony’s here, can’t get a bead on why Scarlett’s the best of the best of female singers, either, uncanny, right? As for me, “Freedom” as a song for a show that Louis’s obligated to do? Okay! Hopefully, this means things are looking up!

Dermot kicks off the festivities by introducing Louis as “a man so loved, I might even scream myself,” and, yeah, hard same:

I won’t get into Marky Mark’s b-roll antics, even though one of my weaknesses is footie Louis, which only proves how much I love you (cough, Kelli). Sandy calls Britain’s Marky Mark the poor man’s Johnny Bananas, and I have no idea what she means by that, but yeah, I guess. Me as her: “God, imagine Louis at 30, imagine seeing him in person, Jesus Christ. How old is Ant’ony again? Shouldn’t he be in the overs? He looks like a bridge troll, the Beatles don’t deserve this vibrato, why are Simon’s tits out, why is there a choir, shouldn’t he just be able to sing? American Idol Simon would have totally called this out for the bullshit it is, he’s an alcoholic now, isn’t he? ” And she’s not wrong on any of it, lmao.

Overall, Sandy’s read on Ant’ony: “Nah…if he had nailed ‘Let It Be,’ maybe.” (Not even then, but I appreciate her giving him a fighting chance.)

We transition from Marky Mark to Dalton, with Dermot saying to Louis, “We are back with you and your wonderful top,” lots of tittering in the arena, Sandy questioning why ANYONE with functioning eyes would consider Louis (or Harry) to be straightTM, and sigh.

I love Roman Kemp enough to squeak, “ROMAN!!” when Dalton does an interview with him. I also el oh el at the whole, “Let’s meet Louis’s sister and some rando none of us really get to hear about in Louis’s ‘house’ before at least two of them go to see Anne-Marie in Manchester.” Still, the sun…in a fake house…yeah:

Unsurprisingly, Dalton blows us all away with his impeccable vocals (AND THAT JACKET). As Sandy says, “Wow, he’s awesome, he’s not even a contestant, why is he on this show, he should be on a label at this point.”

Scarlett’s up next next, and I’m wondering if Simon will show up to mentor, but of course a) he has to (nearly done), and b) it’ll take him about two hours, tops, which is laughable when you consider how much time everyone else has put in, especially comrade Louis. Unfortunately, Simon’s involvement means more Last Showman music.

Simon emotionlessly intones, “Vote for herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, we need her to win the X Factorrrrrrrrrrr,” and Scarlett comes out and does her trademark Adele Junior ~thing, but all I can think is, a) your mentor is creepy af:

and b) “all the luck” sounds like “all the love.” I’ll still buy this pen, sbb:

I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate Jimmy Artie, and even though Anne-Marie seems okay, nothing'll stop me from fast forwarding.

We get duets next, and none of us are interested in Ant’ony and Tom Walker (who?), but major points to Louis for saying, “Massive thank you to you, Tom, you’re an absolute gentleman,” etc. etc. (take notes if you need lessons on how to be gracious).

Dalton’s duet with Emile Sande is predictably grand, but I’m distracted by his Harry Styles cosplay:

Sandy knows my brand well because she immediately picks up on this pen display moment:

I can’t properly grab it, but at the one hour, eight minute mark, Louis springs into prime sbb and talks about how “foon” it is to drag Simon with everything he’s got, and I sob a little because this has been such a GREAT run, godddd, I’m gonna miss it.

George Ezra comes out to sing, and Sandy once again nails it by describing him as “some skinny, pale British guy with a guitar who wants to be Ed Sheerhan…I like his guitar, though, it’s cool.”

Hot take: Scarlett has to sing her duet with Robbie not because Simon’s lazy but because nobody else in the industry would agree to help him out.

God, the “crea’ive” on this tune is terrible: giant satellites for finding ET in the background? Nothing else would have worked here? Nothing from the Greatest Showman, even ?

A bit of live Renaissance art: Simon grinding his teeth while Louis composes a text to Harry and Robbie/Ayda make out:

Sandy’s PISSED that this show just wasted 90 minutes of her life, and she won’t know what happens until I text her, but yeah, sob, one more to go. Meanwhile, she loves Bravo shows, and so do I, so let’s imagine this one;