#also apparently i posted this last night before it was finished so everyone IGNORE THAT VERSION it’s been deleted

[nora-durst]

Chaos Walking by Patrick Ness ○◦∘ The Knife of Never Letting Go (Book One)

But a knife ain’t just a thing, is it? It’s a choice, it’s something you do. A knife says yes or no, cut or not, die or don’t. A knife takes a decision out of your hand and puts it in the world and it never goes back again.

[king-bumis-armpit]

The Promise of Dessert

Written for Maiko Week 2024 – Parents

Summary: Zuko and Mai talk about having kids for the first time. Such a serious conversation can only be had with a plate of fruit tarts. Guest starring: chef Tom-Tom.

Author’s Note: This is very contradictory to the fic I posted yesterday, lol! They exist in separate timelines. Maybe OOC. Mai and Zuko have a very open and honest conversation. In my head this takes place before the Promise comics and very near the end of the show, but Tom-Tom is slightly aged up. But it could also take place after they get back together. Dealer’s choice ;) 

Also, thank you to everyone who commented on any of my posts! I had never really written fanfic and published it before this week and you have all been so nice and encouraging. I’m out of pre-written posts and this might be the last thing I put up this week <3

TW: Very brief mention of infertility and a difficult pregnancy. It’s mostly fluff.

WC: 2,177

Mai shivered in the evening air. Where was your fire bending boyfriend when you needed him? She was walking home after spending the day with Ty Lee, and she felt completely drained.

It was fun and all, but truthfully Mai had been ready to leave much earlier than Ty Lee allowed. She loved her friend, but the acrobat was a bit much sometimes. They were hanging out with the other Kyoshi Warriors– many of whom Mai had also come to like– but they were not a quiet bunch. Mai had stayed up late last night visiting Zuko at the palace and she desperately needed a rest. 

She had tried to leave at dinner time, but Suki guilted her into eating with them. And afterwards, Ty Lee insisted that Mai test her Pai Sho skills against Misaki, who was the best on Kyoshi Island apparently. Then, for some very important reason unfathomable to Mai, Kaori, another one of the girls, urgently needed to learn how to put her hair into symmetrical buns. That lesson took quite a long time, so when they finished Mai was sure that she was free. But alas! Hiro– or maybe Hina (Mai was still learning everyone’s name)– wanted knife throwing tips. By the time Mai was able to go, the sun was going down. 

She yawned and stretched before entering her home. On the floor was a piece of paper. Mai thought it was odd, but she had half a mind to ignore it before she realized it bore her name. Raising an eyebrow, she picked it up, but all it said was, “Go to kitchen.” The handwriting looked like Zuko’s. She pursed her lips. That man and his notes.

Still, she was slightly more awake than before and she complied with the request. She pushed open the door and, sure enough, there he was. Zuko stood in his casual robes and apron of all things. He didn’t notice her at first because he was talking to Tom-Tom, who sat on the counter, also in an apron and covered in flour. Tom-Tom laughed at whatever Zuko was saying, and Zuko ruffled his hair affectionately. 

Mai felt her heart do an odd sort of somersault. The scene was so domestic… She could almost imagine their future. There was no banishment anymore, or war, or pain. Just the people she loved.

Tom-Tom spotted her first. “Mai!” He jumped down and ran to hug her. She patted his head affectionately, as he gazed up at her. “Zuko and I made fruit tarts for you! Just don’t look in the trash. We messed up a lot of times. But this batch is perfect!” 

Her little brother took her hand, and guided her to the kitchen table. It was much smaller than the one in their formal dining room, but it felt more intimate. Mai cast her eyes to Zuko, who was watching her with a sappy grin. “Welcome home,” he said, and she felt her cheeks flush.

“Thank you,” she replied, before turning her attention to the tarts. Some of them were burnt on the outside, and a few were a bit lacking in the titular fruit. Mai suspected that the boys had been overconfident on their first go and wasted supplies. But, to her, they were the most exquisite desserts she had ever received. “These look delicious! I didn’t know you two had it in you.” She gave Tom-Tom a peck on the forehead. “Thank you so much, I can’t wait to try one.”

Tom-Tom beamed up at her proudly. “You should try…” he furrowed his brow in concentration and examined the fruits of his labor intently. “This one.” He pointed to the one that had the most fruit and the least charring. 

Mai picked it up gratefully and took a bite. “It’s so good! You could be quite the chef one day.”

Zuko had been watching her affectionately, but he pouted at that. “Hey! What about me?”

She laughed and walked over to kiss his cheek. “You too, of course. But I would rather you keep our Nation running.” He smirked and wrapped her in a quick embrace.

Then, he pulled out a chair from the table for her, and the three of them sat. Zuko and Tom-Tom also ate a fruit tart each, but Mai could tell that they had been sampling their wares before her arrival. 

Michi appeared to take Tom-Tom to bed, and she gave Mai a cheerful look on her way out. Mai didn’t know how to feel about it. She assumed her mother wouldn’t be so at ease with her daughter’s boyfriend being over so late if he wasn’t royalty. 

Zuko seemed to sense he was losing her to her thoughts, and he cleared his throat. “Your little brother’s a good kid. At first I was worried about spending so much time with him… I’m not really used to children. I thought maybe he would cry or need your mom or something.”

Mai chuckled. “He’s five now, Zuko. He still gets upset sometimes, but he’s not in diapers. What even inspired your joint mission?”

Pink dusted Zuko’s cheeks and he gazed very intently at the table before them. “I was thinking about all of the things that I knew made you happy. Both Tom-Tom and fruit tarts were on the list.” 

“Were you making this list for a particular reason?” she asked.

The smile left his eyes, and he turned his gaze back to her. He grasped her hands tightly in his own. “I was thinking about all of the things you do for me. I couldn’t stop thinking about… when we were at the Boiling Rock…” he swallowed hard. “You risked your life for me, and I left you there.” His voice was heavy with regret.

“Oh Zuko,” Mai brought her hand to his cheek. “You don’t always have to be the hero. Let me save you sometimes. It’s my honor,” she teased.

Zuko smiled again, but it was smaller than before. He always carried too much guilt. “Either way, I wanted to thank you. You are– in the most literal sense– my hero. I wanted to make you your favorite foods, but I decided to start with fruit tarts. And I figured that if I enlisted Tom-Tom’s help, we could bond a little. I intend on being in your lives for a very long time.”

The thought filled Mai with a pleasant sort of warmth. She was getting drowsy again, but she didn’t want to go to sleep anymore. “When I saw you two together, I have to admit it made me really happy. Three of us sitting here together might be my best memory in this house.”

Zuko nodded in agreement. “It felt like we were a family.”

Mai wasn’t sure she was ready for this conversation. She deflected, “We already are a family.”

His brow furrowed. “Yes, but I meant… it almost felt like we were parents.”

Mai hummed noncommittally, but it was too late. Zuko latched onto the notion.

After a few minutes of silence, he added in a small voice. “Would you ever want to have kids? With me?”

Mai thought that she did, but should she say it? What if she changed her mind later? “Well, we’ll have to. Won’t we? For the sake of the bloodline?”

Zuko flinched. “I was actually thinking about this– oh! Uh. Not in a weird way.” He turned as red as the strawberries on the table before them. “I mean… my advisors may have mentioned it. They don’t like that Azula is my only other young relative. But I was thinking, if you don’t want kids, we could choose a different royal family. Or maybe form a new type of government all together.”

Mai’s jaw nearly dropped. “Wouldn’t it be easier to find another woman?”

“Another woman?” Zuko sounded painfully confused. 

“You know, women. About half of the population?”

Zuko rolled his eyes. “I get the picture, but why should I find another one?”

Mai crossed her arms. In truth, he was being very sweet, but he was on the verge of promising something too big. “It would be a whole lot easier to marry someone else than construct a new government. Are you stupid?”

“That is not an option.” Uh oh, Zuko was using his grouchy voice. In particular, the voice he typically reserved for people who insulted her. Ironic. He seemed to realize how intense his tone was. “I mean unless you don’t want to marry me! Or be with me… Um… But if you do, want to be with me, like at all, I would strongly prefer that option.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, clearly frustrated by his inability to speak his mind.

Mai looked at him incredulously. “Of course I want to be with you. We were just talking about how I almost died for you.”

Zuko’s eye twitched. “Then why doesn’t that settle it?! I don’t care how many advisors or Ozai loyalists or reactionaries I have to knock down. If you don’t want kids, then we won’t have kids. Look at my family’s history! It’s probably time we put someone else in charge. My lineage or bloodline or whatever means nothing to me! I want a family with you, even that means just the two of us.”

Mai knew she was just being obstinate now, but wanted to poke him one last time. “And why am I so special? You can’t make a promise like this without really thinking it through.” she deadpanned. 

Zuko was practically smoking at this point. “Mai, I have thought about it! It’s because I love you! Because you understand me like no one else in the world. Because I’m pretty sure I need you to survive. During my banishment, I would think about you and sometimes I would worry that we would reunite, but it would all be wrong. You wouldn’t like me anymore, or we wouldn’t have that same innate understanding of each other from when we were kids. But, we did.” He was looking at her like she was a miracle. “We both changed so much, but you still get me. You listen to my stupid outbursts and you manage to make sense of them. You keep me in line when I’m being unreasonable. I only feel this safe with you and Uncle. I need you.” 

He was starting to tear up, and Mai realized that she felt safe with him too. He was her safe harbor in the world around them. She actually had thought about having kids with Zuko. She always vaguely wanted to. Now that he had given her the option, she knew for sure. This man would do anything for her comfort, including put his own desires aside. She could trust him with her future.

“I want one. Or maybe two,” she blurted out.

“What? Fruit tarts?” Zuko asked, caught completely unawares. 

“No– I mean maybe– but that’s obviously not what I meant, you big idiot.”

“Oh!” A grin split Zuko’s face from ear-to-ear. “Hold on, why did you make me say all that stuff about our other options? I thought you were about to dump me. That was terrifying.”

“Well, I wasn’t entirely sure. I liked the idea of having kids, but Mom had a really rough go of it with Tom-Tom. It took her years to get pregnant again and it was not an easy time. And, if I changed my mind or we couldn’t, I didn’t want to give you that hope and take it away.” 

Zuko wrapped an arm around her. “You are always free to change your mind. I will never take that choice away. And if you can’t get pregnant, then we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. But no new women, please.”

Mai laughed. “Deal. Honestly, hearing you say all that sappy stuff…” Zuko frowned, wondering how she would finish that thought. “It made me feel safe too. I think… I feel safe enough to see our future.” And then a thought occurred to her, “Our distant future. Right?”

Zuko laughed and nodded fervently. “Yes, let’s try to reach a more manageable level of assassination attempts before we start planning in earnest.”

Mai tried to reply, but a yawn escaped instead. Zuko looked at her sympathetically. “I’m sorry to keep you up so late. I thought Tom-Tom and I would learn faster. I told Ty Lee to keep you busy until I sent her a message.” That explains a lot, Mai thought. They stored the extra tarts for the next day, and Zuko walked Mai to her room. They shared an almost uncharacteristically chaste kiss before parting ways. They had been very vulnerable with each other, and they needed some time apart to recover. 

But the promise of such a bright future, however distant, buoyed Zuko’s step on his short walk home. One day, they might be parents. And their family would be full of love, hope, and fruit tarts.