#also apologies i put my click clack next to them lol

[artuurle]

I really wanted to draw @clickety-clacker's Click clack and it ended up devolving really fast into sillies between their design and mine, apologies.

[laws-yellow-submarine]

Hellllooooo! Might I request penguin, shachi, and law late at night playing poker only to realize they're all (trying and succeeding to various degrees) to cheat? Thank you very much! Love your writing! Keep up the good work!

Oh my lord! Anon, I have to apologize because this request has been sitting in my inbox for MONTHS now. It was such an awesome idea, but I was having so much trouble executing it. Honestly this morning I finally brought it up to my boyfriend and ALL OF A SUDDEN everything clicked, the planets aligned, everything made sense, it was awesome! 😂😂 I know you only asked for Penguin, Shachi, and Law, but I threw a bonus Bepo in there because I love him and also I thought it worked better with all four of them. I really hope you like this, and I hope it’s worth the wait for it (and thank you for the kind words!) Also I went with Texas Hold ‘Em as that’s the one I have experience with lol

Three men and a bear sat around a table, cards in their hands and chips of both plastic and tortilla make set out in front of them. Today was Thursday, and Thursday means Poker Night; a tradition borne out of long, lonely nights when it was just the four of them, long before they found their home on the Polar Tang. Some nights the rest of the crew would join them, pushing every table in the mess hall together to create room, but tonight it was just them, and they were happy to spend the time together.

“I raise you 50, and kitchen duty for a week,” Shachi said, throwing a few chips in the middle of the table.

“So now you want me in the kitchen?” Came Law’s sarcastic reply, raising his eyebrows with a smirk as he leaned back lazily in his chair.

“Good point, 100 then.” Everyone around the table matched the bet, the ‘clack’ of the plastic echoing through the otherwise empty room. Until it came to Bepo’s turn.

“You guys know I don’t have 100!” He huffed, pouting while staring at his cards, and eight of diamonds and a nine of hearts. He glanced to the five cards in the middle; a seven of clubs, three eights, and a king of clubs. Sure he had a “four of a kind”, but eight wasn’t a high value card, and with the way the others were betting he doubted his hand would be as good as theirs. “Urgh, fine! I fold!” he exclaimed, throwing his cards face down in frustration. 

“Aw don’t be like that Bepo, it’s just a game,” Penguin told him, calling Shachi’s raise. 

“Yeah, a game you just happen to always lose. We don’t hold it against you,” Shachi said with a grin as Law followed suit. It was a true enough statement, though it didn’t help the minkman feel any better. “Alright, losers, pay up!” Laying his cards flat, everyone at the table could see he had a two and a queen, both clubs. A flush. 

“Man, how’d you manage to get two flushes in a row?” Penguin asked, laying down his own hand (a seven and a king of hearts). “I thought for sure you were bluffing this hand.” Shachi laughed almost maniacally as he began to pull the chips towards him.

“Not so fast, Shachi-ya,” Law said, laying down his own cards. An eight of diamonds and a two of hearts. “Four of a kind. I’ll take those chips.” Bepo stared at his captain’s cards in confusion, then glanced at his own hand again and gasped loudly.

“Captain! You’re cheating!” He accused, throwing his own hand down to show everyone the proof. To his credit, Law was taken aback by Bepo’s outburst, and appeared chagrined at the scolding the bear would likely give him.

“Captain! How could you?!”

“For shame, Captain!” Penguin and Shachi yelled in unison, pointing at their captain in shock and anger. That is, until a pile of cards slipped from both of their sleeves and onto the floor.

“Wha-?! You’re all cheating?! Again?! Why can’t we have just one game where we all play fair?!”

The three all appeared put out by the outburst. Bepo had never been good at cheating at cards, but that had never stopped the rest of them from doing it anyway. They were pirates, why shouldn’t they cheat? But at the mink’s distraught face, and the knowledge that he mostly always lost because they cheated, Law gave a sigh and pulled his hat low over his eyes.

“Fine, you’re right, Bepo. We won’t cheat this round. Promise.” Shachi and Penguin looked like they were about to protest, but one look from their captain silenced any grumbling, and they nodded their agreement. Bepo looked suspicious for a moment, then nodded happily.

“I’m dealing this time though,” he said, grabbing all the (legitimate) cards and shuffling them. Chips were redistributed and cards were dealt, but unknown to anyone, a third card had fallen onto the bear’s lap during shuffling. By the time he realized, bets were being placed, and the flop was already laid out, showing a ten, jack, and king, all spades. Bepo looked at his hand: a queen of spades and a four of diamonds. So close to a winning hand. 

Next came the turn: a five of diamonds. Utterly useless for Bepo’s hand, and he couldn’t tell anything from his friends’ exceptional poker faces. His paw itched for the card in his lap, but he waited, eager to be the better person in all this cheating nonsense. Besides, he’d never cheated at poker successfully.

After the river (a three of hearts), Bepo couldn’t take it anymore and lowered his hand to his lap to check the unknown card. Anything to win just one hand.

To his delight he turned over an ace of spades. With this he had the hand he needed! He quickly, but subtly, swapped out the four as the bets came back to him, raised now to 500 beli plus engine room duty, and he took a deep breath as he realized he could win.

“I raise you brushing my fur,” he said, much to Shachi and Penguin’s protests, Law just raised an eyebrow at the bet, finding it odd for Bepo to even bring it up as an option. Just how good was his hand? 

The time came for everyone to reveal their cards, beginning with Penguin. His face was smug as he showed his straight, seven through jack. Law went next with two kings for a “three of a kind”, and Shachi laid his two and three of clubs out in despair. Bepo could feel himself shaking with nerves and excitement as he lay out his cards, revealing his “royal flush”. Shachi and Penguin openly gaped, Law sat mostly stoic, but Bepo could see his brows raised in surprise under his hat. The bear sat there beaming with pride, reaching out to rake in his earnings, already daydreaming about the relaxing fur-brushing to come.

“Hey, what’s that?” Penguin asked, pointing at the floor. Bepo froze as he reached down to grab his old card, which had fallen off his lap when he grabbed his chips. 

“Bepo…?” Law asked, sounding very much like a frustrated parent.

“Y-yes, Captain?” 

“YOU CHEATER!!”

And that’s how Bepo found himself being chased around the Polar Tang by three pissed off men, much to the surprise of the rest of their crew members. After that they had a much higher turn out for Poker Night, but cheating was indefinitely banned.

[thehomierobbstark]

Teach Me Part 2

Part 1 Part 3

Pairing: Erik Killmonger x Reader [#TeamErikDon’tDateWhiteChicks]

A/N: This part of the story takes place before the first part and explores how x reader and Erik met. Prepare for a lil humor and sass. Also remember when I said I thought this might be 3 parts? yeah ignore that. we just going on a chapter by chapter basis now lol.

Warnings: Bad humor probably lmao

This is for all my lil cute ass black gorditas out there rockin back fat, belly rolls and thick ass thighs that touch!!  x Reader is always gon be black, chubby, and sassy.

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As soon as the elevator doors opened, you stepped out onto the third floor and inhaled deeply, taking a moment to fill your lungs with the crisp air. It was rare when you had the chance to actually explore the Smithsonian’s Natural History Museum even though you’d been working there for three months, so you wanted to savor the moment. Understandably, you were always stuck behind your desk on the first floor or constantly flitting from office to office, dropping off and picking up documents and statements from your coworkers. You never got to see much beyond the East wing of the building unless you were arriving to work or leaving from it, and you were pretty sure you were going to lose your goddamn mind if you memorized another detail of the front door without seeing something new.

So that’s why when Christianna, your office mate, asked if you wouldn’t mind taking the bi-annual expenditure report you’d both made up to the Directors’ meeting on the 3rd floor, you jumped at the chance. Literally. You jumped out of your chair, snatching the report out of her hands and all but ran out of the office, hearing the sound of her laughing fading behind you as you headed towards the elevator. You and Christianna had grown pretty close in the last three months you’d both been here, starting only a week apart from each other in the Accounting Department. So she knew you’d been eager to explore all that DC had to offer, including the Smithsonian’s Museums. She also knew you’d been just as eager to avoid seeing Chad from finance stop by to chat with you for what would be the fourth time that day.

You only had 15 minutes to spare before the Directors meeting ended and you could pass off the report, so you had to hurry. You really didn’t want to miss it.

Walking briskly, you made your way through the wide corridors of the museum, hugging the report closely to your chest so you could move quicker. It was surprisingly empty on the third floor, and there was no noise except the rhythmic clacking of your 3-inch suede booties against the marble floor. As you moved closer to the end of the hallway, your excitement grew as the view of the wide room before you started to open up. Reaching the end, you peeked out of the doorway to make sure both sides were clear before darting across the walkway, catching yourself on the railing with one hand and leaning your body against one of the tall pillars. Giddy already, you looked down over the railing and gasped, a wide smile forming across your face.

You saw tons of people mulling about on the first floor of the Rotunda, surrounding the information desks and the huge Elephant statue off-center.  Teams of kids and tourists were being led this way and that for tours of the exhibits. All the excited chatter happening below drifted right up to your ears, along with some loud laughter and screams you matched with two toddlers playing hide and seek around one of the pillars with their dads. You absolutely loved people watching, and this was the perfect time for it. Friday’s around noon were always one of the busiest, and it was so fun watching all the excitement unfold down on the first floor. Plus, it was beautiful. You were always interested in architecture, and though you didn’t know much about it, the layout of the room reminded you of old roman structures you’d seen in your high school history books. The autumn sun shined brightly through the rounded windows near the peak of the building, spilling beautifully out onto the floor below like a golden curtain.

You were so caught up in everything you didn’t notice that you were practically gaping around in awe. Unfortunately, this also meant you didn’t notice the tall figure that had managed to creep up and stand right next to you.

“First time here?”

“FUCK!” you yelped, jerking as your arms shoot to your chest to ease your pounding heart, the report falling to the floor in the process. You close your eyes and drop your head to take a few quick deep breaths to calm down, and hear what sounds like muffled laughter next to you. You mentally remind yourself to check your face to prevent from glaring at the sneaky motherfucker that just scared the shit out of you.

You fixed your mouth to irritatedly apologize for cursing when you look up. And up. This nigga was tall. 6 feet at the least. You were grateful you were wearing your heels, otherwise your 5’3.5” self would have been having neck problems looking at him given how close he was. (Yes those .5 inches matter. I can’t reach the top shelf let me be great XD)

You must have been gaping again, because his bearded mouth curled up into a slow smirk as he looked at you, and you swore you could see something glinting in his mouth for a second.

You didn’t know why his height had you looking at him like some star struck preteen. You’d been surrounded by tall people your whole life, so this wasn’t anything new. Granted, it probably had something to do with the incredibly gorgeous man that it was attached to, but you weren’t ready to admit that yet. This creepy jerk had just snuck up on you and made himself comfortable right next to you, as if thats where his ass belonged. So fuck him and his cute ass smile. And his smooth, hazelnut skin and pretty brown eyes.  And his- hol’ up. Were those diamond studs in both his ears? Oh my - Focus Y/N!

You cleared your throat as you tried to gather your thoughts, and hopefully some dignity, looking down as you smooth your hands over your peplum dress, spotting the report you’d dropped on the floor a second ago. You start to bend to pick it up but he beats you to it, swiping up the document and offering it to you.

“My bad. I ain’t mean to scare you like that.” he smiles fully, showing off his perfect teeth. This nigga got golds too? Wait a minute.

You accept it, meeting his eyes as you respond, trying to keep your smile small to keep from doing too much. “Thank you. And I apologize, I didn’t mean to curse.” You put your Karen voice on, because you were, after all, still at work, and you didn’t know this man like that.

Remembering his original question, you add, “And no, this isn’t my first time here. I work downstairs in the accounting department.”

Somehow he seems to smile even wider in an odd mixture of cocky and nonchalant.  Apparently he was happy with this new information, and you couldn’t help but feel slightly irritated. Whatever sensual cologne he was wearing was already starting to cloud your mind, and you really didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of this man any more than you already had.

“Forreal? Well aye, maybe you can help me out. I’m lookin for one of the Directors, Dr. Wendy Butler? You know where I can find her?”

Hearing the name, your eyes go wide as you promptly snap back to your senses. You knew exactly where he could find her because she was the one you were supposed to be dropping the expenditure report off to. You’d been so busy staring at cute babies and this mans face that you completely forgot about it.

Checking your watch, you start moving off into the direction of the Directors’ meeting while calling over your shoulder, “Come with me! I’m going to see her right now!”

5 minutes to spare. Good. You didn’t want to risk being late when meeting with the Director, even if it was only for a few minutes, so you quickened your pace a little. Hearing the mans even strides behind you, you suddenly remembered the thin excuse for a thong you decided on wearing when you got dressed that morning, and your back stiffened a little. You could only imagine the view this man was getting of your unrestricted ass moving underneath your dress as you trotted through the corridor, and you mentally cringed. You knew you should have decided on the seamless briefs instead. Maybe thats why Chad from Finance kept coming around.

As if sensing your discomfort, he appeared beside you, bending his head to speak.

“You know, you movin pretty fast with them short legs you got.”

You glance over to him and see that damn smirk back up on his face as he focuses ahead.  Oh so he got jokes too? Okay.

“We can’t all cross the ocean in one stride,” you mutter under your breath. You were still a little pissed he’d interrupted your people watching, so you were being a little petty.

“What was that?” he raises both eyebrows, a look of humor hidden somewhere behind them.

“I said how do you know Dr. Butler?” That clearly wasn’t anywhere near what you’d said, but you dared him to call you on it. This man was getting far too comfortable for your liking, and you sensed that he was used to always getting his way by flashing that smile of his. You hoped to have that kind of power one day.

He bit his lip as if to bite back a laugh before answering. “I’m leadin the Wakandan Outreach Program here thats partnering with the museum. I’m here to go over the budget with Dr. Butler.”

The report. You looked down at it in your arms as the pieces clicked in your head. So that was why you and Christianna had been working overtime on the report all week. You’d both found it odd that you were drafting an expenditure report mid year, but figured it had been for an emergency since you’d rushed to complete it. So you had this guy to thank for that too. Great.

Finally reaching the conference room, you peeked through the window to check the status of the meeting so as not to interrupt. Everyone still looked heavily invested in the conversation, so you figured you still had a couple more minutes to spare. “We can wait here, she’ll be done in a second.” you speak.

You moved to lean against the wall, only to see him follow suit out the corner of your eye, settling in right next to you. What was with this guy and personal space?

You didn’t want to risk looking up at him and accidentally giving him a bitch face, so you just cocked your eyebrow and flipped through the pages of the report, fake checking it.

Feeling his eyes on you, you fidgeted and shifted your weight to your other foot, trying to discreetly scoot a few inches over. It wasn’t that you were scared or intimidated by him, but he had a strangely playful energy about him that you felt yourself slowly growing interested in.

You wanted to distance yourself from that feeling.

You were in a new city, at a new job, and at a new stage in your life. You wanted to be selfish. You didn’t want to involve somebody else in your new journey. Though, if you were being honest, you never really wanted to before either. You’d just gotten so used to being on your own up until then. You figured that maybe you just weren’t meant to find someone who…

Before you were able to get lost in your thoughts, the door to the conference room opened, and you stood up, fixing your posture into a presentable manner. As the Directors filed out of the room, you smiled warmly, greeting them while searching for Dr. Butler through the crowd. You noticed the man you came with was still leaned against the wall, looking unbothered by the change in company.

You started to call out for Dr. Butler when she found you first, walking up to you to and greeting you. “Y/N, a pleasure to see you, as always.” She smiled sweetly.

You returned the smile. “Likewise Dr. Butler. I have the report you requested,” you said, handing the paperwork over to her.  “And there’s a man here to see you-” you turned towards him only to find that he was, once again, standing right next to you.

He extended his hand to hers for a shake. “Erik Stevens ma’am. We spoke over the phone regarding the budget for the Wakandan Outreach Program?” So he had a Kyle voice too.

“Mr. Stevens! Glad to finally meet you. Look, I’m glad the both of you are here actually, I have to run down to the Ocean Exhibit and talk to security. Seems one of our Octopuses escaped again.” she laughs, rolling her eyes.

“So why don’t you go over the report together? Y/N here is one of our top Budgeting Analysts, so you’re in great hands. Take an extended lunch, on me.”

Before you can open your mouth to protest, she says her goodbyes and walks off down the hallway, taking two security guards and the report with her.

You blow a small breath before facing Mr. Stevens, seeing that slow smirk make its way onto his face.

“So,” he says, looking you up and down. “Where you tryna eat?”

Fucking octopuses.

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Be honest yall was I whack af for calling his skin hazelnut 😂😂😂 I called myself trying to be different lmaooo.

Tag list: @wecanalldobetter​ @youreadthatright​ @stark-red19​ @groovybbyyy​ @killmongersgurl​ @stillheregayandabitch​ @nyctophiliaattacks