#also ankles has become my new listen on repeat until youre calm song

[newtness532]

I dont think I can find 2500 more words to write 😫

[glamrockmonarch]

Somebody Else - 2019!Roger ~Requested ~

A/N: I felt like making it angsty and cute so I hope this pleases both of my anons! I know I said I was in a fluffy mood tonight but I’m doing what I must! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Enjoy!

You turn on your seat and watch Roger talking to his son. Felix is almost a complete opposite from his brother Rufus. You stare at their interaction, your gaze fixed on them in awe of their relationship.

Roger is asking his son about his plans to move forward with his own family, something he himself has started doing lately, but is still quite unsure as to how to go about it.

You have been together for almost two years, what started off as a friendship between you, an aspiring lyricist, and him soon became a much more serious romantic relationship. While you had a boyfriend at the time, you started finding yourself calling Roger just to have a chat and enjoyed spending time with him. Having to spend some time together to work on a song he wanted to release later that year, you discovered that the two of you had a lot in common. In fact, you felt like Roger understood you better than anyone else ever had. Your relationship moved quickly after that. Roger insisted he did not want to come between you and your boyfriend, and he did his best at keeping a distance with you.

Unable to keep up the lie, you had to break up with your boyfriend, with whom you’ve been together since college. The break up was not hard on you, although you had to give it a few months before you could go out with Roger free of guilt; since then, your relationship flourished and grew, it only got better with time and now you are living together, having the time of your lives.

There is only one thing that Roger is not so sure about… and that it the fact that you are so young. He is unsure of wanting to tie the knot.

It is not because he does not want to marry you, every day for the past seven months he has woken up with you next to him in his bed. He loves to watch you sleep in the mornings, with your h/c hair spread around the pillow and your relaxed expression. Roger also likes to cook with you, it amazes him to see how comfortable you are around the utensils, flying around the stove salting food or flipping something; you have a way of swaying when you are busy stirring a stew on a pot, he likes to stand back and see.

But, and here comes the but; you have dreams to reach, goals to accomplish. You have lived so little...for God’s sake, you are in your twenties! You need to have a life of your own, make mistakes and learn from them, grow as a person, find your own path...jump off a plane if you please! Roger does not want to stop you from doing any of these things, he feels as if asking you to marry him will hold you back forever. Roger hates to admit that in his head, marrying you is the same as placing a shackle on your ankle.

He’ll weight you down, he will never allow for you to become who you have to become, and it won’t even be something he chooses to do, it will happen - or so he thinks.

He has been dealing with this thoughts for weeks now, and hearing his son speak of his family life with a woman he loves and the children they are raising, he cannot avoid feeling remorseful about you once again.

Although you feel as if butterflies’ wings flutter in your insides, you have to turn away from your boyfriend and stand when Lola comes to the table and pulls you up by the hand.

“We need to have some pictures!” She calls out in excitement.

Roger’s youngest daughter happens to be a couple of years younger than you, and although this made things a bit weird between his children, it also makes it easier for you to talk to her. To outsiders you must get along with Roger so well because you do not act your age but older, the truth is that both of you meet each other halfway; this being true you have become good friends with his children since they were around the same age as you. With Roger’s friends it always happens that you love to listen to their stories, they like to tell you anything you would like to know about the way things were when they were your age around the early 70’s.

“Of course!” You jump up and are wrapped into a tight hug from this crazy girl.

Roger’s daughter Lola is taller than Tigerlilly and yourself, so she will always put her arm around your shoulders when she has the chance.

You laugh and you smile at Tigs’ phone camera, giving her a few poses together until Rufus joins in and makes foolish faces along with his sisters. Tigerlilly seems bothered by the amount of “great quality” pictures she has already managed to take of you, complaining that she wants in on the fun, she flips her phone and pushes her hair over shoulder to appear on the frame. The four of you are crumpled together taking silly pictures when Roger and Felix come into view to join you.

The evening has to come to an end, an end you are excited for. The reason why you insisted on having his children - who are no longer “children” at all -  over for dinner tonight is that you want to know you can be a part of their family, because well...there is kinda no way out for you now that you are pregnant.

You have been waiting for about two weeks to speak to Rog about it. Nobody in the family knows except for Tigs, and she knows only because she ran into you at the supermarket on your way out when you had a pregnancy test on your cart. Ops!

After everyone leaves, the girls sharing an uber and Rory calling to apologize for not making it, you are at last all alone to go to bed.

While cleaning up a couple of plates that were left on the sink Roger avoids your gaze with his hands covered in dish soap. Thinking nothing of it you go and wrap your arms around his middle and hide your face between his shoulder blades.

“Leave that, we can finish cleaning up in the morning.” You mumble, eager to go to upstairs so you can show Roger the ultrasound picture of your tiny baby.

Squeezing him in your arms you hum a tune you heard on the radio that morning. Roger lets out an exasperated sigh and argues he wants to clean now.

“Okay,” you say in a whisper with tightened lips and narrowed eyes. “Is everything alright, Rog?”

You do not know what’s wrong and what could be happening with him, so you try to remain calm as you wait for your boyfriend to answer. He purses his lips looking down and away from you. “This is a bad sign”, you think.

Roger washes off the last dish and puts his hands on the edge of the counter, slouching over the sink.

“Y/N, I don’t think this is gonna work.” He hates to break the news, he does not want to see you go… but Roger loves you too much to take half of your life away from you.

You are frozen on the spot. This is coming out of nowhere and you struggle to make sense of it. With a smile you huff, fixing some strands of hair by placing them behind your ears you try to convince yourself that you are having hearing hallucinations or something.

“You mean the dishes?” You bring your chin to your shoulder and point at the dishwasher, “maybe that would help…”

Roger pouts and looks at you now, he straightens up and you see his expression is hard and serious. He has put on a strong front to convince you that this is a final decision he is not doubting at all - which, he is.

“No. Darling, I…” He watches your mouth stay open, your foot takes a step back and you balance yourself in front of him, like a vase that teeters on the edge of a table. “I am breaking up with you. I cannot see this going any further...we’ve had a good run, but we’re in different places in our lives.”

You do not blink, you see him without seeing him. His form in front of you looses meaning as the words bounce on the walls of your brain, echoing louder with each beat of your shrinking heart. Your insides flip and a deep sting makes your hand dart to your chest. It’s as if the knot keeping you together has been cut and set free to empty the contents wherever they might fall as you struggle to hold the bag closed. A gasp leaves your lips and you cover your mouth to hide it but it is a second too late. It breaks Roger’s heart to watch you process this.

Biting your lip, you cross your arms over your middle. You bow your head and frown.

“What?” Your voice fails to sound clear, it breaks and you slump your shoulders in shame. “I thought we-”

“I’m sorry.” Roger clears his throat, crossing his arms over his chest too.

Your lip quivers as you take it in. Now you feel the bag labelled “you” fall flat on the floor, it makes no sound as it bleeds on the white tiles. Turning away from Roger you feel your body shake and tears spill from your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Rog repeats, staying away from you he lets his arms fall at his sides and pays attention to an old ring on his pinky finger that he starts twisting.

“You’re s-s-sorry?” You wipe your face with violence, “I love you!” You say, although it feels like a plea about to fall on deaf ears.

You turn to Roger and go up to him, he takes as many steps back as you take forward.

Stopping abruptly, you try and fail to blink back tears.

“Someone will love you,” Rog does not want to look at you, not when he is doing this to you. “but...Y/N, someone isn’t me.”

The air is heavy now, your body is not able to get enough oxygen; your stomach aches and your chest burns. You want to storm out, and you do, without another word you stumble out of the kitchen. You have to make a great effort to walk upstairs and enter the room you share with Roger and shut the door before you break down and sob. It’s loud and you bet he can probably hear you if he comes upstairs, but you let it out because you do not know what else to do. You put your hands on your belly, it’s not swollen yet but you hurt even deeper when you think of the little life inside you that won’t get to have a family.

It takes you awhile sitting on the edge of the bed to collect yourself and pull out a suitcase. You can’t stay here, even if Roger did not mean for you to leave that night...you need to make a run for it. You need to think...what will you do?

You walk outside at almost 1am, Roger watches you from the hallway as you roll the suitcase behind you. You give him a glance and catch his eye for a split second before he turns away. Things are good, why would he break your heart like this? It is unfair, but your better judgement has taken a leave of absence and you check your phone to see that your uber is not here yet. You walk up to Rog and struggle not to touch him.

It feels by the way he has treated you tonight that you touching him would be unwanted, although you craved for his arms, his raspy voice to sooth you, his beard to tickle your skin when he whispered in your ear...

Wiping your face again to get rid of the tears, you are careful not to touch him at all when you stand in front of him and leave a peck on his cheek.

“I-”

You feel tears coming up again and shut your mouth, pressing your lips in a tight line. You cannot bring yourself to say anything, so you opt for something more simple and mouth the word “bye” to him.

Your phone rings and you see it’s your driver. Something tells you to leave without taking another glance at the drummer. He has been the best thing that happened to you. Sadly, you are not the same to him.

Leaving Roger’s house would take another trip to pick up the rest of your stuff, but for that night you pack enough clothes for a few days, ready to sleep at a hotel. This is not how you imagined the night going. In your head you pictured Rog would be surprised, perhaps scared, but he would end up smiling and holding you. He would pepper your face with kisses to the news.

You put your hand on your belly and frown.

It is weeks before you speak to any of the Taylor family members, Roger told them about your break up almost immediately and got back to work. He still had to walk around his house looking at your stuff lying around, wondering when would he see you again and praying that he would be able to watch you leave once again without opening his mouth and shouting how much he regretted breaking up with you.

For you, things were changing at a fast rate, your doctor made you aware that you were experiencing a difficult pregnancy due to a lack or iron in your blood, which could be dangerous. You had to take time off of work and were getting the most awful shots to fix you up so you could bear a healthy baby. Nonetheless you were exhausted, emotionally and physically. The morning sickness stuck with you throughout the day, your breasts were tender - too tender. And your hunger seemed to have no match those days.

After a month you mustered the courage you needed to talk to Roger. This was nonsense! You knew he loved you and that you loved him; so you made your way to his house after calling Tiger and getting a pep talk from her, and pounded on the door until he opened.

His eyes opened wide as he saw you standing there in front of him. He watches you come in, pushing past him in your pretty little sundress and sandals, making the most out of the one day of warmth in London.

“Hey, Y/N…” Roger doesn’t know how to start, what to say.

“Roger, don’t.” You put your hands on your hips. “I wanna know what’s happening.”

The drummer sighs and looks away from you, he has to admit that seeing you there is making it difficult to him not touching you, his instinct tells him to do it but he remains still.

“I told you. I-”

“Bullshit!” You cut him off. “Tell me the truth. Because I know you love me. And so do you.” You wave your hands around in the air.

You feel your eyes sting with tears, maybe coming here this early had not been a good idea.

At last, Roger explains his motives with his eyes glued to the floor. He is sad to admit that he just wants you to have a life.

“You are too young to be tied down!” He hates being older at that moment, but cannot help wondering if things between you had even worked out if he had met you when he was younger. “And you deserve to do with your life as you please, like I did when I was your age!”

You shake your head and roll your eyes, for a wise old man, Roger was being incredibly stupid right now. You take a couple of steps forward and cup his face with both of your hands.

“Rog, I love you.” You declare in a soft tone, “and I am living my best life with you by my side. I don’t want to get shitfaced every night, I don’t want to go backpacking around south america...I don’t want to drink overpriced cocktails at clubs! Roger, I want to sip wine with you over dinner. I want to come home so you wrap me in your arms, so I don’t have to wake up next to a stranger in the morning. I want to be lazy on the beach with you when we go on holidays. I chose you! I don’t need anything else! I just want you, and you could never weigh me down!”

Roger smiled down at you hearing all the things you are saying but he is still not convinced with your relationship having any type of future.

“I just don’t want you to wake up one day and wonder how did you end up with…” He points at himself as if he is a bad thing, “this!”

You giggle and shrug. “I wake up wondering that every single day! How did I get so lucky to have you?” Roger huffs and rolls his eyes in amusement, you take the moment to kiss his chin. “Besides, you are hot.”

“Oh, you think?” You wink, “You only want me for my body.”

Giggling you nod and your nose crinkles as you do so. “Can we stay together, then? Because I need to tell you something else...but I want things to be okay between us before I tell you.”

Roger clears his throat and pinches your cheek softly between his index and thumb, he nods and presses a kiss on your lips.

“That’s an offer I will not refuse.” Roger smiles at you.

With that, you bite your lip and let your hands fall on your stomach. With your eyes on his, you say the words and watch his eyes blow open in surprise before a huge grin makes itself present on his features.

“I’m pregnant!”

Roger buries his face in the crook of your neck, mumbling something about how happy he is and how much he regrets ever thinking he should break up with you. He peppers your entire face with kisses and drops his hand on your stomach, looking down at you with his light blue eyes tinted with love.

“I love you already. And I love your momma.” He whispers.

With your hand coming on top of Roger’s you lean on his chest and kiss his cheek.

“And I love your papa.”

[acidblackpirate]

A Birthday Cherry

To our beloved birthday-boy yasu! :D

The raindrops were splashing against the window from the outside, performing a sad dance just to crash and run down the cool glass like tears on a human cheek.

Yasu watched them closely as not to watch the person sitting right across from him.

The silence stretching out between them felt wrong. It felt like they had become strangers.

“So...?”, ka-yu started, introducing a sentence he obviously didn't know how to finish.

“So”, yasu repeated.

There was another moment of silence, just the rain falling down interrupting the quiet. For a while yasu had liked to dance to the song the rain was playing. Now he didn't even recognize the melody any more.

“We could just go out, you know?”, he suggested after another pause.

He was still holding on to the cup of tea that he had emptied minutes ago already. The porcelain felt a little bit warm still, but the sensation started to fade fast and soon he would begin to feel stupid holding on to nothing but an empty vessel.

“Let's wait until it stops raining”, ka-yu shook his head. “I hate getting wet.”

His knuckles, the small part of his wrist showing underneath the sweater, the line of his neck seemed to be the only things in the room holding any colour left. Maybe he was afraid the rain might wash them away, too, yasu thought.

“Me too”, he agreed, although it was not true at all.

He remembered a time when none of them had minded the rain.

He held the rest of the flyers they had handed out only minutes ago above his head, the paper soaking wet with the water pouring down from the sky.

The thunder far above the clouds and his drenched shirt sticking to his skin made him laugh with happiness and the taste of freedom filling the rainy city air.

“I told you we should have waited inside”, ka-yu exclaimed, fumbling with his keys to unlock the back-seat door of his car.

Water was running over his knuckles, a single drop of rain trickling down his wrist, disappearing into the sleeve of his shirt. It made his skin look very alluring and yasu wanted to turn into the rain, just to cover him wholly, just to drench him from head to toe.

“I don't mind the weather”, he observed hoarsely as ka-yu finally unlocked the door.

Over the the soft splashes on the pavement he could hear a quiet click as the mechanism gave way, but he didn't get in immediately.

Instead he leaned in, the few leftover flyers dropping carelessly to the ground and his hand entangling into ka-yu's dark hair that was wet and clinging to the back of his neck. The skin felt slippery under his fingers, but warm underneath, human and alive. His bassist took a step backwards, stumbling against the car as yasu pressed his body close to his, his chest heaving next to his and the rain blurring the lines of their skin until they became nothing but one.

Ka-yu's lips parted under his, wet and so, so soft, their smiles mingling and giddiness filling their lungs. He chuckled into the kiss, a teasing tongue sucking away his breath and making him smile even wider.

He felt happy in the rain.

“I listened to your new album. It's amazing”, ka-yu said.

Yasu felt himself blush ever so slightly. He wasn't sure if there was accusation in those words. He wasn't sure if ka-yu even bothered with accusing him any more.

“I'm very sorry I forgot to send you a copy this time. You could just have reminded me.”

Almost forcefully he turned his gaze away from the window to see his former bassist shrug.

“I can just buy a copy like everyone else. You've got to make a living of it after all.”

Yasu managed to smile, but it didn't feel honest.

“When I finished Black List you were the first person I wanted to listen to it”, he stated wistfully.

“We were young back then”, ka-yu shrugged once again. “Your singing has even improved since then. I still remember our first recording sessions. You sounded so different.”

Insecurely yasu smiled. He wondered what ka-yu really was saying.

“I liked how we sounded back then”, he said quietly.

A little surprised ka-yu looked up from the tea cup that had held his attention so far.

“Remember how scared we were? If we would ever make it?”

This time it was yasu who shrugged.

He remembered being young, he remembered doing music with ka-yu by his side, he remembered kissing him in the rain.

He didn't remember being scared.

“I better get you home, before you catch a cold”, ka-yu mumbled, leaning down one last time to kiss yasu sitting on the back-seat and moving to shut the door.

But yasu stretched out his leg, stopping the door from closing with his foot.

“All we need to do is get out of these clothes”, he grinned, reaching down to pull the soaked shirt over his head.

It pealed off his body like a second skin and he could sense ka-yu's gaze covering him, hungry and curious. He loved that he always looked like he just couldn't get enough of yasu.

“I know this is probably a bad idea, but you're god damn convincing”, he admitted, getting into the car next to him, pulling the door close behind himself.

It shut with a loud bang and for a moment yasu heard the rain pouring down on the roof, heard ka-yu's breath close to him, heard voices calling out their names and heard the shadow of all the songs he was going to write. For a moment he heard the future.

Then ka-yu kissed him and he tasted the present.

Smiling widely against his lips he ran his hands greedily across the bassist's chest, the fabric of his shirt wet and clingy, and underneath the outlines of his body so clear and warm as if he was already naked.

“I'm sorry I can't take you some place nicer”, ka-yu mumbled lowly as yasu's fingers trailed down, pealing the shirt from the skin that was also slightly wet underneath.

He made his friend lift his arms to pull it over his head, their hands brushing against the roof of the car, because there wasn't enough room for them.

It made yasu laugh again, just because it was so cramped and awkward and ultimately perfect.

“What are you talking about? It's five stars”, he grinned, leaning forward to lick and bite ka-yu's neckline, making him exhale softly against him.

He felt fingers stroke through the dripping strands of his long hair in a gentle manner.

“Once we're famous and rich I'll take you to the fanciest hotel rooms”, ka-yu promised, causing yasu to chuckle as he searched for his lips again between body heat, rain and laughter.

“Nah, just buy a nicer car”, he suggested, kissing him once more and tasted shared dreams on his tongue.

But as brightly as they painted their careerer now, he didn't care for it at all. Ka-yu's lips made his chest feel wide and like one kiss could already hold all the future and freedom he was longing for.

“It does not look like it's going to stop raining any time soon. I better get going anyway, it's already gotten late”, ka-yu observed.

Lightly yasu nodded.

It was early in the afternoon and the sky started to clear up far in the distance behind all this rain clouds.

Maybe ka-yu felt as uncomfortable as he did.

It was weird spending time with a stranger you had once known so well.

“I can call you a cab”, he offered.

Ka-yu shook his head.

“I'm here by car”, he said.

Yasu gave a very quite sigh.

“It is really nice car you have gotten yourself”, he observed.

Ever so slightly ka-yu smiled.

“I don't get the chance to use it often enough, though.”

And for a moment yasu thought that maybe he remembered as well. That maybe he wondered what had happened to them, too.

He reached out over the table, brushing ka-yu's tattooed knuckles hesitantly. His skin felt weirdly rough and a little bit dry under his fingertips.

“Do you ever wish we could just...”, he began, but stopped short when he saw ka-yu turn his head towards the window again.

He looked sad and like he didn't know what to say.

“Looks like it stopped raining”, he stated.

“Just drop it into the leg room”, ka-yu advised, pointing to where he had already dropped his own pants earlier, curled up to one dark, wet pile.

“I can't!”, yasu swore laughingly, his knees pulled up just beneath his chin he tried to separate his skinny pants from his ankles, but the fabric stuck to it persistently. “Help me!”

Ka-yu reached forward, tearing at the material until it finally gave up and dropped to the floor in surrender.

“I told you it was a bad id...”, he started, but yasu shut his lips by putting his forefinger against them.

“Just shut up. In a moment you'll think differently”, he winked at him.

Spreading his legs he climbed onto ka-yu's lap, feeling his damp skin between his thighs and smiling down on him.

When he dropped his hand to reach down and close it firmly around ka-yu's hard dick, he didn't continue to protest indeed.

“Okay, you changed my mind”, he admitted breathlessly, as yasu started with calm and controlled strokes.

Ka-yu's hands had someone found their way onto his waist now, holding on to him without adding pressure, as if he just wanted to touch yasu for the sheer comfort of it.

“Mmh, I like this”, he whispered, bringing his lips closer to ka-yu's ear.

“Me too, but if you really want to do it this way, it's gonna be real uncomfortable”, he pointed out with a grin.

Yasu rolled his eyes, leaning back again to place one of his hands against the back of the front seat, helping him to hold his position. With his other hand he was still holding on to ka-yu's erection as he pushed his hips upwards with the strength from his legs propped up to both sides of the bassist.

“Don't be such a crybaby. All you gotta do is sit still after all”, he scolded, forcing his body into a posture where he could feel the tip of ka-yu's boner push up against his entrance.

“But...”, he tried again, but then yasu lowered his hips again, carefully taking him in centimetre by centimetre and pleased he watched ka-yu's eyes go wide.

“Fuck, yasu, you're amazing”, he mumbled with a quiet moan.

“Now, that's not too uncomfortable, is it?”, yasu teased slightly breathless.

Ka-yu looked up to him, their eyes locking for a moment that made him beam for no specific reason.

Still holding on to the front seat he started to move his hips, sliding up and down on ka-yu's lap.

The other hand he had now placed against ka-yu's shoulder, water and sweat forming a thin layer under his touch. They were both smiling, probably looking like idiots, yasu thought.

Because the space was so small he had to duck his head whenever he moved his hips upwards as not to hit it against the roof. Having sex this way was awkward and almost ridiculous, but ka-yu looked up to him, his smile like the sun that led the way into a bright tomorrow.

They had nothing but a car that was too small and the rain on their skin. But for a while yasu felt invincible and behind ka-yu's eyes he could see it...

He leaned against the door frame, watching ka-yu step out onto the street.

It had stopped raining indeed, but wet puddles of water were still glistening on the pavement, a reminder of what once had been.

“Thanks for dropping by”, he called after him.

Ka-yu turned around, smiling politely. Yasu did not have the feeling of knowing that smile.

“I just wanted to give you your birthday present”, he returned. “And tell you how much I liked the new CD. I'm so proud of the artist you have become.”

Yasu looked at the shiny surface of the black car, reflecting the first sun rays breaking through the cloudy sky.

“We have really made it, haven't we?”, he asked throaty.

“We have”, ka-yu confirmed. “All our dreams came true.”

They had become the artists they had always dreamt to be. Ka-yu had gotten his car and yasu had written all the songs he had wanted to write. But what they had gotten was security instead of freedom and at some point he had lost something very important.

They had really made it, but looking into ka-yu's eyes now he wondered where it had gone...

...all that light.