#also Last Christmas is underrated as a horror episode

[master-missysversion]

I know it won't win but series 5 is the MOST horror series to me. I love it

*based on my opinion of what I'd watch on Halloween, doesn't necessarily have to be about a Halloween monster but have a scarier vibe to it

[thespoonisvictory]

Happy New Year! Here's everything I watched and read in 2023

And also some misc. thoughts on the things that made an especially good, bad, or striking impression. If the thing is in purple, it was a rewatch! books are all rated out of five because there was a reasonable number of them. top five from each category are in the bottom for funsies.

*not including podcasts/dropout content. I'm up to date on make some noise, gamechanger, wbn, and d20 (mostly). I also watched the emily axford guest episodes and chapter 2 of candela obscura on CR

Movies

The Menu

Glass Onion

Romeo and Juliet (1996) (this is one of my fav movies of all time, I'll never get sick of it. just gorgeous top to bottom)

Rosaline (I went into this knowing I wouldn't like it and came out thinking it was just alright. lead actress is good, but I hate derivative Shakespeare works that don't understand the original story)

Hamilton

Tangled

Secret World of Arrietty

Honor Among Thieves (just a damn good movie, love the practical effects)

Mamma Mia!

Barbie and the Three Musketeers

The Three Musketeers (1993)

Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse

The Last Unicorn (rewatched this for the first time in at least a decade, what a gorgeous vibey fantasy film. something about the dark scenery and tone really sticks with me)

Nimona (thought Ballister was a great character and enjoyed the design choices for the world, a good piece of Knight (tm) media. however, I thought the animation was lacking and didn't think it deserved a best picture nom like a lot of people did. it was cute, not lifechanging)

The Green Knight (watch it)

80 for Brady (a request from my mom, surprisingly funny)

The Visit

Sweet Home Alabama (bad)

Barbie!

Sharkboy and Lavagirl

Pride and Prejudice 2005 (another one of my all time favs)

Sleeping Beauty

The Aristocats

La La Land

Red White and Royal Blue

The Princess and the Pauper

Barbie and the Three Musketeers (again)

Howl's Moving Castle

Girl Vs. Monster

10 Things I Hate About You

500 Days of Summer (made me cry, which I didn't expect. can you tell I had a joseph gordon levitt moment lol)

Get Out

Twilight

The Conjuring (I watch this every year, one of my fav horror movies)

Scooby Doo: The Witches Ghost

Kiki's Delivery Service

Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Love, Actually

Honor Among Thieves (again, but with my DnD party)

The Holiday (I mean. it's Jude Law)

The Boy and the Heron (holy fucking shit this was so good)

Asteroid City

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

In The Tall Grass

Books

Harrow the Ninth by Tamryn Muir: good! I fucking struggled at the beginning getting through but it paid off. (3.5/5)

The Falls by Joyce Carol Oates: a fun gothic romance/tragedy set in Niagra Falls which took an environmentalist angle I was not expecting at all. Picked it up at a Goodwill and enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. (4/5)

A Game of Thrones by GRRM: I mean, it's a classic. The way the plot unfolds at the end really is incredible, but from the first chapter it grips you. (4/5)

The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas: HOLY SHIT if you read one book because of me let it be this one, it is criminally underrated for how well known it is. It is thee action-adventure novel of all time, hysterically funny and easy to read. (5/5)

The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern: I took a little dip into YA to bring some autumn vibes to my summer internship. Plot was bad, vibes came through. (2.5/5)

Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte: fucking slaps!! anyone who thinks it isn't romantic is dead wrong, I found it much more engaging than Jane Eyre, the other Bronte novel I've read. (4.5/5)

Just Above My Head by James Baldwin: a gripping account of two black families before and during the civil rights movement, of which one son becomes a famous gospel singer. Julia, one of the daughters and a child evangelist, stuck with me long after I finished it (5/5)

Nona the Ninth by Tamryn Muir: enjoyed it more than HTN, Nona asking about her birthday present made me cry, as did Campal :( (4.5/5)

That Summer In Paris by Morley Callaghan: put me in a massive reading slump over a silly little Goodwill read, never have I been less entertained by what was essentially a book of entirely gossip about 1920s writers. (2/5)

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins: read it immediately after ABOSAS, holds up in its entirety, particularly in the environmental descriptions (4/5)

A Clash of Kings by GRRM: I've already posted about this a ton but holy shit, it's slow getting there but the payoff is incredible. really excited to keep reading bc George absolutely sold me on this web of political and personal relationships. (4.5/5)

A Place Bewitched and Other Stories by Nikolai Gogol: the cap for the year, bleak Russian short stories about weird little tales. would hit harder during fall. (3/5)

Shows

The Last of Us (as good as people said it was. sold me on zombie media as someone who does not like zombie media)

TLOVM S2

You S4 (a decent ending, parts with Love Quinn were the best lolol)

Succession S4

Shadow and Bone S2

Partner Track (CUTE. wish netflix didn't cancel it)

Marvelous Mrs Maisel S5 (a letdown tbh)

Game of Thrones S1

BBC Musketeers (I had a big three musketeers phase this year; this was my fav adaptation I watched. a lot of heart and a lot of silly, I am very biased about it)

BC Strike

Bridgerton - Queen Charlotte (I watched this in French, had a miserable time)

The Terror

The Bear (twice)

The Summer I Turned Pretty S2 (steven and taylor!!!!!)

Legends of Tomorrow S1-5 (rewatching with Roommate)

Yellowjackets S1

Over The Garden Wall (I watch this every autumn)

Gilmore Girls, Seinfeld (continuously)

The X Files S1-2

Blue Eye Samurai (shockingly blunt and visceral in everything from it's depiction of racism to fully committing to animating a boner).

Unfinished: Fionna and Cake, the Fall of the House of Usher. we're working on it.

Top Five Movies (no rewatches):

5. 500 Days of Summer

4. Get Out

3. The Green Knight

2. La La Land

The Boy and The Heron

Top Five Books:

5. Wuthering Heights

4. Nona the Ninth

3. A Clash of Kings

2. Just Above My Head

The Three Musketeers

Top Five Shows:

5. The Last of Us

4. Yellowjackets

3. BBC's The Musketeers

2. Blue Eye Samurai

The X Files

If you made it this far send me an ask telling me what ur favs were this year or thoughts you have on mine :)

[litcityblues]

Doctor Whoquest Part Four: Tennant, Season 1

The debut season of David Tennant is an interesting one to consider. On the one hand, from my point of view, we've moved all the way back into the Russell T. Davies era of the show, which means that it's got a totally different feel to it now compared to Moffat or Chibnall. People forget that Doctor Who was originally designed as a children's program and while Moffat and Chibnall (at least from what I've seen of Chibnal so far) push the tone of the show into more contemporary, maybe even straightforward science fiction, Davies, I think, might come the closest to capturing the original spirit of the show- which given the fact that he brought it back to the air, to begin with, makes the most sense. You want to capture new viewers and not alienate the old- at least not too much.

On the other hand, there's a lot riding on this season. Tennant is the first regeneration of the Nu-Who Era and while even back that I would have rated him an accomplished enough actor that a sophomore slump would seem unlikely, it had to be on the minds of people going into this and you have to wonder what would have happened to the show had Tennant or the writing not been as good as they are throughout this season. There's a nice symmetry to it overall, as it starts with the first regeneration of Nu-Who, but ends with the first big Companion departure at the end of the season when Billie Piper's Rose Tyler is trapped in a parallel universe.

Where does this rank in terms of debut seasons? That's the real question, isn't it... I don't think you can count Eccleston's season as a debut, because it was also his last season, but leaving him out, I think I'd rank them thusly:

Smith

Tennant

Capaldi

Whittaker

To be fair, I don't there's a lot of daylight between Smith & Tennant or Capaldi & Whittaker-- they all turned in really solid debuts in the role, but for whatever reason, Smith's debut season just knocked my socks off. I think Tennant's debut is a hair's breadth behind his. Capaldi's was better and stronger than I remembered and I'll go ahead and call it: Whittaker's was underrated.

Full credit to Tennant here, though: 'The Christmas Invasion' was one hell of a debut and so successful, in fact, that it established the pattern/tradition of holiday specials that we see throughout the rest of the show.

Three Episodes I Liked:

'The Girl In The Fireplace': I'd have to double-check to be sure, but I think this might be the debut of Steven Moffat on Nu-Who and it's just excellent from start to finish. You've got a sci-fi mystery as the Doctor, Rose, and Mickey arrive aboard an abandoned spaceship which contains several time windows into the life of Madame de Pompadour and overlapping that, you've got a nice time travel angle as the Doctor has to travel back to Versailles to save her from clockwork droids who continue to stalk her, insisting she's not complete. The kicker might be the end-- when Rose, the Doctor, and Mickey depart, and it's the audience that gets the big reveal of why the ship has the time windows and the clockwork droids after Madame de Pompadour to begin with. Combining love, romance, time travel, science fiction, and horror into a perfect blend that fits Doctor Who so nicely, it's one of the standout episodes of Nu-Who and you can't top Tennant delivering the line "I snogged Madame de Pompadour!"

'The Impossible Plant'/'The Satan Pit': There's another two-parter in this season ('Rise of the Cybermen'/'The Age of Steel') that's a pretty solid reintroduction of the Cybermen to Nu-Who and sets up the events of the season finale, but I have to give the nod to this one. The Doctor and Rose arrive on a base on a planet that is somehow orbiting a black hole. The crew is served by a race of docile beings known as the Ood and the Doctor is puzzled by a language so ancient it predates even the Time Lords. When a quake strikes the planet and the TARDIS falls into planet and when the Doctor goes to retrieve it, they find a door- which opens, revealing The Beast who takes possession of a crew member and announces that he is free. The music is especially top-notch on this two-parter- there's a mournful undertone to it- not mournful as in sad, but mournful as it, 'impossibly old and alone at the edge of space' so full credit to Murray Gold for that. There are some nice nods to Alien when the Ood chase the crew through the air ducts and this episode touches on concepts of Satan, Hell, and the Devil in a really interesting way.

'School Reunion': The return of Sarah Jane Smith! (Elisabeth Sladen). I'll be honest-- I never saw any of her episodes from Classic Who, but I understood the excitement about her return and this was a great episode- at also helped launch her into her own spin-off of The Sarah Jane Adventures, so there's that.

Two Episodes I Didn't Like

'Fear Her': Was just okay. Possessed kid capturing people in the drawings she makes? Plus a weird Olympic subplot? It feels like a bottle episode- probably because it was as it lead into the two-part finale of 'Army of Ghosts'/'Doomsday'.

'New Earth': While I appreciate seeing the Face of Boe again and the Cat Nurses, I honestly don't care about the human trampoline, Cassandra. As a villain, she's awfully vain- which I guess is the point of the character, and even though there's a credible attempt to make her (a flat trampoline of a character) more three-dimensional, it just... doesn't land. The Face of Boe just hints at something big for The Doctor the next time they meet and thus seems... wasted? I don't know. Just kind of 'meh' for me.

One Episode To Consider

'Love & Monsters': This is actually a really off-beat episode as it's told from the point of view of people who get left behind and experience all the wild and wacky things that poor London has gone through and it gets a little weird at the end as the main character, Elton gets to start a relationship with his girlfriend, Ursula, who is, well, a paving stone. I appreciate the ELO. I appreciate the weird. I like a good episode that zigs when you're expecting a zag and this one works.

Overall: I do not like the Daleks. I'm over the Daleks. You've got sixty years of a show to dig through- find something else. However, I will say this: the Cybermen are interesting and when they face off against the Daleks in the Season Finale, it's pretty cool-- you've got two of the biggest villains in the franchise facing off against one and you can't really complain too much about that.

As a plot device, I would really like them to get away from the 'let's throw a random word into every episode and have it mean something at the end of the season' thing that they do in these early seasons. Once you get away with it once, it's hard to replicate it with any serious effect, I think. Bad Wolf works. Torchwood obviously plays a role in the season finale and yes, but Tennant's next season gets liberal references to Harold Saxon thrown everywhere. As foreshadowing goes, it's not subtle. Ideally, you'd do this and not have the audience realize the mystery until you unveil it and then they'll have to go back and piece it together for themselves- but at the end of the day, it is what it is. I forget I'm doing this in a back-asswards way, so these early tendencies tend to evolve as the show does, though I really would like at least a one-season moratorium on anything related to the Daleks.

My Grade: 8/10

[thingwithfeathers]

tag 9 people to learn more about their interests

tagged by: @enniomorricone :)

MUSIC

fave genre? indie/alternative rock, and pop but not really current pop more like 80s/90s.

fave artist? bastille, twenty one pilots, fleetwood mac, the clash, the smiths, abba, probably a lot more i can’t think of right now.

fave song? my joint favourite songs are ‘with or without you — u2′ and ‘landslide — fleetwood mac’

most listened song recently? 'song for zula — phosphorescent’ it’s become one of my favoure songs ever.

song currently stuck in your head?  any abba song because i was listening to them a lot earlier.

5 fave lyrics?

“It’s a hell of a long way to fall just to learn to get up” — the mess, the naked and famous.

“But now it’s just another show / and you leave them laughing when you go / and if you care, don’t let them know / don’t give yourself away / i’ve looked at love from both sides now / from give and take and still somehow / it’s loves illusions that i recall / i really don’t know love at all.” — both sides now, joni mitchell (this entire song though! really hard to choose lyrically because it’s a masterpiece).

“See, honey, i saw love / you see it came to me / it put it’s face up to my face so i could see / yeah then i saw love, disfugure me / into something i am not recognising / see the cage, it called, i said come on in / i will not open myself up this way again / but my heart is wild and my bones are steel / and i could kill you with my bare hands if i was free.” — song for zula, phosphorescent.

"Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? / can the child within my heart rise above? / can i sail through the changing ocean tides? / can i handle the seasons of my life? / well, i’ve been afraid of changing / ‘cause i’ve built my life around you / but time makes you bolder / even children get older / and i’m getting older too.” — landslide, fleetwood mac.

“And then you put your hand in mine / and pulled me back from things divine / stop looking up for heaven / waiting to be buried / and all their words for glory / they always sounded empty / when we’re looking up for heaven.” — bastille, glory.

radio or your own playlist | solo artists or bands | pop or indie (depends!) | loud or silent volume in-between! I slow or fast songs | music video or lyrics video | speakers or headset | riding a bus in silence or while listening to music | driving in silence or with radio on.

BOOKS

fav book genre? just fiction in general. i’ve kind of grown out of young adult so i don’t really read a lot of that, and have been reading classics lately. just any books that make you really think and are written so beautifully that you can highlight quote after quote. i’ve also been reading a lot of non fiction spiritual books lately.

fav writer? recently, taylor jenkins reid. i’ve read two of her books and they’re incredibly gripping. love the simplicity and warmth of benjamin alire saenz as well, the care that ari & dante was written with. and also emily dickinson, especially her letters in particular to susan are just gorgeous.

fav book? aristotle & dante discover the secrets of the universe, wuthering heights, little women, a little life, and recently the seven husbands of evelyn hugo.

fav book series? i don’t really read book series, so the only thing coming to mind is harry potter which i only read for the first time about five years ago now.

comfort book? little women and aristotle & dante.

perfect book to read on a rainy day? any easy read, probably several i listed above.

fave characters? aristotle & dante, jo & beth march (little women), mina murray (dracula).

5 quotes from your fave books that you know by heart?

“You teach me now how cruel you’ve been — cruel and false. why did you despise me? why did you betray your own heart, cathy? i have not one word of comfort. you deserve this. you have killed yourself. yes, you may kiss me, and cry; and wring out my kisses and tears: they’ll blight you — they’ll damn you. you loved me — what right had you to leave me? what right — answer me — for the poor fancy you felt for linton? because misery and degradation, and death, and nothing that god or satan could inflict would have parted us, you, of your own will did it. i have not broken your heart — you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine. so much the worse for me that i am strong. do i want to live? what kind of living will it be when you — oh god! would you like to live with your soul in the grave?”  — wuthering heights, emily bronte (i could choose so many from this book but this is the most underrated one in my opinion and deserves more recognition).

“I will love you forever, whatever happens. ‘til i die and after i die, and when i find my way out of the land of the dead i’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, ‘till i find you again. i’ll be looking for you, will, every moment, evert single moment. and when we do find each other again we’ll cling together so tight that nothing and no one’ll ever tear us apart. every atom of me and every atom of you... we’ll live in the birds and the flowers, and the dragonflies and pine trees, and in the clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams... and when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we’ll be joined so tight...” — his dark materials (amber spyglass), philip pullman. (don’t talk to me, this quote makes me actually ache)

“I wanted to tell them that i’d never had a friend, not ever, not a real one. until dante. i wanted to tell them that i never knew that people like dante existed in the world, people who looked at the stars, and knew the mysteries of water, and knew enough to know that birds belonged to the heavens and weren’t meant to be shot down from their graceful flights by mean and stupid boys. i wanted to tell them that he had changed my life and that i would never be the same, not ever. and that somehow it felt like it was dante who had saved my life and not the other way around. i wanted to tell them that he was the first human being aside from my mother who had ever made me want to talk about the things that scared me. i wanted to tell them so many things and yet i didn’t have the words. so, i just stupidly repeated myself, “dante’s my friend.”” — aristotle & dante discover the secrets of the universe, benjamin alire saenz.

“There are many beths in the world, shy and quiet, sitting in corners till needed, and living for others so cheerfully that no one sees the sacrifices till the little cricket on the hearth stops chirping, and the sweet, sunshiny presence vanishes, leaving silence and shadow behind.”— little women, louisa may alcott.

“And so i try to be kind to everything i see and in everything i see, i see him.”— a little life, hanya yanagihara.

hardcover or paperback (paperback for general reading and hardback for special editions!) | buy or rent | standalone novels or book series | ebook or physical copy | reading at night or during the day | reading at home or in nature (i love nature and want to be able to read outside but i cannot be in nature without being hypervigilent of bugs so wouldn’t be able to concentrate) | listening to music while reading or reading in silence | reading in order or reading the ending (i also used to read the last line of a book first for a long time but i started to piss myself off when it wasn’t vague enough) | reliable or unreliable narrator  | realism or fantasy | one or multiple POVS | judging by the covers or by the summary (i can’t help it, i love pretty covers) | rereading or reading just once.

TV AND MOVIES

fave tv/movie genre? disaster/post apocalyptic, drama, sci-fi, documentary, occasional fantasy. i’m pretty on board with most things, other than horror but even that has some exceptions.

fave movie? titanic, shaun of the dead, little women (1994), eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, wuthering heights (2009 tv movie), portrait of a lady on fire, practical magic, the greatest showman, finding nemo, the grinch (2000).

comfort movie? finding nemo, little women (1994), shaun of the dead, all my favourite christmas movies which are too many to list.

fave tv show? friends, charmed, golden girls, gilmore girls, the walking dead, new girl. currently: 911.

most rewatched tv show? friends. i watch it almost every day and it would be impossible for me to count just how many times i’ve watched it from start to finish.

5 fave characters? all the friends on friends, piper halliwell (charmed), tara chambler (twd), glenn rhee (twd), maddie buckley (911).

tv shows or movies | short seasons (8-13 episodes) or full seasons (22 episodes or more) | one episode a week or binging (i’m conflicted because i miss the event of catching a show every week but at the same time once you binge watch you can’t go back) | one season or multiple seasons (but shows need to know when to stop) | one part or saga | half hour or one hour long episodes (depends on my mood) | subtitles on or off | rewatching or watching just once.

tagging: @bettyhofstadtdraper / @kubrickking / @koningen / @urispatty / @marmaladepotion / @mixye + anyone else that wants to do this, feel free to tag me to read :) !

[natsspammityspamspamham]

Dino Watches Anime (Oct 26)

Recently Completed!

Tokyo Godfathers

Score: 10/10

There’s a reason why I gave this such a rare high rating. When I was watching it, I was internally like, “*excitement noises* I have not been this excited over an anime in such a long time, let alone for an anime movie. EVERYONE SHUT UP SO I CAN WATCH THIS EVEN IF I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY’RE SAYING.”

It’s not often that you come across really good movies, let alone masterpieces like this movie. The art is so good, the story made me feel like it was Christmas in October, and the characters really made me connect. 

I know the subtitles used a whole lot of gay slurs and things like that, but Hana (the trans character in this tale) is treated well if we get past that huge hurdle. She truly owns up to herself. She doesn’t care what she’s called. She gets mad at people who misgender her. She gets mad if she’s forced to go to a men’s facility. She wants people to call her “an old hag” rather than “an old coot”. She just wants to be a mother even if she isn’t “biologically a woman” who can bear children. So when she comes across this kid, she thinks, “I will finally be a mother!” These are issues that real people face. These are issues that cisgendered people take for granted.

Madhouse really knocked it out of the park. Satoshi Kon is one of the biggest creators and directors in anime history. He’s known for horror and psychological works like Perfect Blue, Paprika, and Millennium Actress. I never expected him to be this good at making a movie that could move my soul like this. The characters were so far from perfect, yet I wanted the best for each of them. The way it handled everything was masterful. The dialogue worked so well and was witty, the voice actors (despite the main three not being in anything else for the most part) were so good at giving life to their characters, and the art blew me away in 2019 even though this was released in 2003. The only thing I didn’t quite like as much was the score during some parts of the movie, but it was subjectively good and just wasn’t to my taste (the Noragami soundtrack wasn’t a fav of mine either). 

Just... watch the movie. If you can watch it around Christmas. It’s good for you.

Saiunkoku Monogatari

Score: 7.4/10 

Yes, I binge-watched all 39 episodes in two days, what’s it to ya?! In reality, I just boosted the speed of the video.

Me throughout this show: Why do you all have triangle heads? What’s with that?

Okay, it’s the art style, and a lot of shoujo anime go with the concept that it looks good. Once you get over the art hurdle making me believe this was created in the early 2000s despite it being 3 years younger than Tokyo Godfathers, this turns out to be a really nice show. I just can’t believe they’re BOTH from Madhouse. 

Remember Snow White with the Red Hair? Remember Akatsuki no Yona? If you liked those shows, you’re going to like this one... except it relies more on the political plot. It’s mostly about a woman wanting to pursue her dreams of being a politician in a male-dominated world. She’s entasked with helping this mess of a king to get his act together, and as much as I can try to prove that it’s surprisingly progressive (given the art and genre), I think that’d be spoiling it a little. The only character that actually bothered me was the prince who was voiced by Tomokazu Seki who honestly was a bit annoying and sounded so fake for me. However, this anime made me appreciate Hikaru Midorikawa’s voice as well as Houko Kuwashima who I’ve only heard voicing dead moms and only a few good characters here and there. Seriously, both of their voices are great. Toshiyuki Morikawa sounds good too, but we already knew that. I don’t like the OP or ED (or a whole lot of the music), but that’s the case for a lot of these 2005-era anime. Just like a lot of the anime on MAL, I do think this is an underrated show, but it does have its pitfalls if you’re just craving for a quick shoujo without any politics.

Full Metal Panic: Second Raid

Score: 7/10

I binge-watched this entire season while my parents were out for dinner and something else. It only took me a couple of hours because I boosted the speed.

I wanted to get a gif specifically from this season, so this one will have to do. So much wasted potential will this character (who’s one of two twins). I know they were trying to play the whole “twincest” thing, but I’m personally not a fan. They provided some cool fight scenes even at a certain cringe cost. The fact that Kyoto Animation animated this bumped the art from a 3 to an 8. It’s crazy how much the quality jumped after a new studio took over. Unfortunately, they didn’t take care of the next season. I know the main ship in the series is pretty clear, but this season made it closer to canon (too bad it took around 13 years to make the next season).

Kara no Kyoukai (movies: 5, 6, 7)

Score:  Part Five: 7.5/10 Part Six: 5.8/10 Part Seven: 8.2/10

Not gonna lie, I watched the first four movies over a year ago and retained nothing. I had to read the Wikia to assist me and to begin with, I watched this to get into the “Type-Moon” universe (which consists of this and the Fate nonsense stuff), Yuki Kajiura’s score, and Maaya Sakamoto and Kenichi Suzumura voicing a couple. The score would probably change if I’d watched them regularly, but I digress because I watched movies 5-7 in one afternoon. Ufotable was pretty good at animating this and the voice acting worked really well. Yuki Kajiura’s music didn’t hit well at first when I was first watching the first few movies over a year ago because it wasn’t what I envisioned the score being, but once you get into the mood and mindset, it adds so much to the story. Although, I still really didn’t like part six. I thought it was a complete flop because I just want to get rid of anyone who believes i*cest is an okay thing. This isn’t Alabama. Go home. Not else to say here because this took so much commitment that I doubt anyone would watch it.

Paranoia Agent

Score: 8.6/10

With spoopy month coming to a close (already?!) I watched this anime earlier this month, but I forgot to write about it. That’s partly because there’s so much to unpack here. This was a thriller, psychological, horror anime by Satoshi Kon. That’s right, the first anime above was also done with him in the director’s seat. This anime was smart. There’s a reason why Robin Williams likes it! It was scary in the best of ways. It revealed a part of society that we see all the time but don’t talk about (especially in Japanese society where emotions are better kept concealed). Just the opening alone made me feel uneasy. The OP and ED were simplistic yet worked. I binge-watched the whole series because it was that gripping. 

It was a little confusing at times, but that’s also because that’s just a common thing with horror anime. That suspense keeps us going. It keeps us on the edge of our seats. Who’s going to be the next victim of Shounen Bat? Episode 8 came out of nowhere for me, and I liked it. There were several scenes that sent shivers down my spine in the best way possible. It isn’t always “scary”, but it gives suspense.

Aoi Bungaku

This one is going to be reviewed a little differently. Since it has specific arcs, I’m going to review them as such!

Ningen Shikkaku: 8.2/10

We start off with a bang. Osamu Dazai was a man of suffering. This story really shows that. In this story, we see a man who’s desperate to know what makes him human. We see this through the eyes of a fictional character, but I personally view this as a semi-autobiography.

The art was chilling. The voice acting from Masato Sakai was surprisingly good. A lot of the time, voice acting from live-action actors just aren’t that great. Every time you think this character will get back on his feet, he falls deeper and deeper. It truly did make me wonder what made me human.

Sakura no Mori no Mankai no Shita: 3.9/10

That moment when the only thing that saves this arc is Nana Mizuki’s singing. Seriously, her jazz songs were awesome. Can’t say that about the rest. I mean, the art is good, but it’s Madhouse so most of their stuff is already good. The story wasn’t that original. Mind you, this was probably during a period where foreign influence was strong, and I haven’t read the original story, but... this is basically Salome (the opera) with some differences. Both have a crazy woman with a fixation over lifeless decapitated heads. Both have men that are captivated with her beauty so they give her what she wants because of that reason alone, they both murder religious people (monk/shrine maiden and a prophet), and both eventually realize that women can be crazy when they demand a lifeless head because you know, that’s just a red flag. Above all, it suffers from tonal shifts. You can’t have a woman turning moe then demand you bring her another head to play with. You can’t have Masato Sakai playing another main character that doesn’t fit him! Seriously, he doesn’t have the voice of a brute and just couldn’t do it. Overall, this arc was a mess, and I’m glad it was one of the shorter ones.

Kokoro: 7.6/10

This looked like a masterpiece compared to the last arc. I haven’t read Kokoro, but this made me go, “Huh, I don’t remember this happening.” That’s because they chose a certain part of the book (near the end apparently) and just went off that and created its own anime-original episode. Despite that, it was pretty good! There were some screaming discrepancies which did hurt its impression (because it made it feel out of place to the point where even I, as an uneducated anime viewer, could clearly see).

(I think this is from Kokoro but I might be wrong)

Hashire, Melos!: 8.9/10

Would you look at that? It’s the best arc of the series. Hashire, Melos was great. It had me going from beginning to end, and it’s the only arc that doesn’t have Masato Sakai playing the lead character. The art, the pacing, the storytelling, the story, the sound, the voice acting, and the art direction complemented each other so well. It made me far more interested in the original. 

The Spider’s Thread: 6.6/10

If you look really close, you’ll notice that the creator of Bleach took over character design for this! It was okay. I found that it was a little cliche and lacklustre. Mamo is around so much that you probably have to do more than that to keep my attention, and this had the art going for it too. It just wasn’t that interesting. A heartless murderer is sent to hell after being executed. Moral of the story: Don’t be an asshole. Alright. Nice. I do understand that Ryuunosuke Akutagawa was one of the main establishers of the whole “Japanese Short Story” thing, but after seeing it so many times, I just didn’t get that same chill.

Hell Screen: 6.9/10 

Another Akutagawa short story! This one had far more of an impact because this one hit closer to Akutagawa’s heart. Knowing the history of this piece of writing, you can see his desperation to stay relevant and true to his craft. It’s about a painter who wants to paint the town but finds out the city isn’t the bright light he sees in his mind. Everything goes ablaze. The art for this is stunning. I probably would’ve enjoyed this story more if it was placed in the middle of the series run rather than being the last story. 

Recently Started

Africa no Salaryman

The animation for this is terrible. There is no way around it. However, at least it’s funny. Still, close to being on the chopping block. It has the papa lion who’s played by Akio Ohtsuka, the straight-man middle lizard played by Kenjirou Tsuda, and the scumbag toucan played by Hiro Shimono. Yes, they all play Hero Academia villains. The jokes are pretty good for me.

Given

Oh, would you look at that? It’s a music anime. *inhales* Music anime is a double-edged sword for me. I like having music interpreted and portrayed through one of my favourite mediums, but I don’t like them playing off music as some sort of easy gimmick and a joke. It’s like a shonen montage. “Let’s just have this guy train for two minutes and become a demigod”. But when you put an instrument into someone’s hand and demand the same, it sends me to another plane of angriness.  So far, the romance is kind of cute... but Mafuyu kind of annoys me since his role in the BL dynamic is so clear just by his voice. Same with Uchida. You can only play so many thugs a season. Kyou? Good. Chika? Good. This guy? Good, but don’t do them all back-to-back! I don’t like the BL dynamic being so basic. However, my mind can be changed if done right.

Shinsekai Yori

Very interesting premise, their eyes are cute, and I’m a sucker for these so I’m gonna stick with it.

[guardianreadersofthegalaxy]

Dom’s mini Who reviews - the great episodes

The Doctor’s Wife – This has such a weird off-kilter vibe that I’d love to see more of. Aunty, Uncle and House are all so creepy and Surrane Jones genuinely acts like she’s not used to her own body. Add to that Amy & Rory’s horrific journey through the TARDIS and you’ve got the peak of Series 6.

The Fires Of Pompeii – I love episodes based around moral dilemmas. Donna is definitely the highlight. The location filming all looks great even if the Pyrovile CGI’s a bit rubbish. This takes the historic romp template and injects it with tonnes of actual drama.

Gridlock – Some quality Bladerunner-inspired production design and a great turn from Ardal O’Hanlon. I could take or leave the Face Of Boe stuff. The standout moments are the two musical scenes, particularly the last one. Tennant & Agyeman really give it 100%.

Last Christmas – The tone’s a bit muddled and the dream twist is done way too many times, but this succeeds as a sci-fi horror mindf*** and as a sweet Christmas romp, even if the two don’t pair well. The cinematography in Clara’s dream is particularly fantastic and I love 12 driving the sleigh.

Lie Of The Land – Easily the best of the Monk episodes. This draws on the series 3 finale but has just enough to feel unique. The action scenes are fun and Pearl Mackie does a great job. Missy’s cameo is also a highlight. The Monks don’t have much personality but they get the job done.

Love & Monsters – So underrated. At the time, the idea of a Doctor-lite episode was groundbreaking. And it’s a really sweet story that’s an allegory for fandom. It gave us dancing to ‘Mr Blue Sky’ way before Guardians 2 and it even furthers the Series 2 arc of, well, Love & Monsters.

The Pandorica Opens/ The Big Bang – PO is masterclass at building a compelling mystery. The ‘Under Henge’ set is so Indiana Jones. The monster teamup is a bit rubbish but it’s a hell of a cliffhanger. Then BB is just running around a museum. Smith tries to sell it but it’s a weak, if inoffensive, finale.

Silence In The Library/ Forest Of The Dead – Most credit should go to the production team and Murray Gold. The Matrix stuff in FotD with Colin Salmon is brilliant and stops you getting bored of the library setting. The concept of River Song is cool, if overexplained. It’s a tasty ending.

The Shakespeare Code – This set the standard for historical romps. Dean Lennox Kelly has tonnes of charisma and balances the comedy and drama nicely. You can tell writer Gareth Roberts is having a lot of fun with the quotation gags. I love a witch, me.

The Sontaran Stratagem/ The Poison Sky – I’m not a fan of this episode’s colour palette and the settings are dull. 10’s anti-war messaging is a bit overdone. Even so, this does a great job as a Pertwee era invasion story and the Sontarans are a credible threat. I want my last words to be “Sontar? Ha!”

The Sound Of Drums/ Last Of The Timelords – SoD is a tense urban thriller, even if the Master’s prime ministerial antics are pretty unrealistic. The time jump in LotT is a great way to approach a finale, even if it breaks the momentum of the 2 parter. LotT feels like a dry run of Turn Left.

The Time Of Angels/ Flesh and Stone – Both parts start very strongly, establishing the angels as a deadly threat, before devolving into wandering round a cave and a forest respectively. Smith is at the height of his powers and Murray Gold gives the angels a really unsettling electronic theme.

The Unicorn & The Wasp – This is just loads of fun, particularly the poison sequence, and about as funny as Doctor Who gets. The creature concept’s a bit unimaginative but I’ll forgive it for how it justifies putting Agatha Christie in an actual murder mystery.

Vampires Of Venice – A historical romp with a love triangle twist. Love triumphs in the end with Rory sword fighting a vampire with a broom. The climax with the Doctor flipping a switch in a poorly CGI’d storm is pretty naff but the music’s great. And Helen McCrory looks hella sexy.

[laceyscaryfilms]

12 Days of Christmas Horror

Criteria: Movies that take place on or around the Christmas Holiday. Unfortunately I didn’t choose horror films around the other winter holidays. And I apologize. 

The 12 days of Christmas starts this Saturday, the 14th. Here are 12 movies for you to watch each day, with the last movie being watched on Christmas. 

Jack Frost (1997)

This isn’t the 199 movie with Micheal Keaton (although they’re both equally terrible). This is another ridiculous movies you have to see to believe. A freak accident causes a notorious serial killer to become a murdering snowman. Seriously. That’s the plot. Watch and enjoy. You’re welcome.

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ev0NkYfkgYE

2. Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

Who needs a serial killing toy-store Santa? EVERYONE OF COURSE! This movie provides a pretty standard slasher movie. However, this one happens to take place around Christmas. And the killer is in a Santa suit.

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNBJfv5pIdY

3. Treevenge (2008)

Killer Santa's, killer snowmen, killer TREES? Yes. This only a 15 minute video. And the amount of hilarious gore they fit in is just superb. I love this one.

THE WHOLE MOVIE - https://vimeo.com/5048966

4. Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

Christmas. Zombie. Musical. Does anything else need to be said?

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfWIfwKJ7vA

5. Pooka! (2018)

If you’ve actually been reading these posts, you’ll have read about my love and support for the Into the Dark series on Hulu. This is the Christmas movie/episode from last year. Its weird and trippy, but also kinda puts a whole new spin on the Christmas Carol. Try it out.

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciGTk80JkbI

6. Better Watch Out (2017)

A Christmas home invasion movie. Or is it? This one is a Shudder exclusive. Give it a try if you can.

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b88Z3Xa9v4s

7. P2 (2007)

Surviving your stalker while trapped in a parking garage with him over Christmas break? She does it. The final girl is the only girl in this flick. Yes, the dog dies, but it won’t be overly upsetting. Don’t worry. 

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZiThcBydSA

8. Gremlins (1984) 

What? Did you forget this was a Christmas movie? It is. Watch it. Love it. 

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9DNOuEv7iI

9. Black Christmas (1974)

Don’t be confused by the remake they did in 2006. Or by the SECOND remake they did this year. The original is always the best. This is one of the movie that helped pave the way for other Slasher films. Plus the body in the attic is more and more disturbing each time someone else finds it. 

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iqLGD7C6VM

10. A Christmas Horror Story (2015)

This movie is so so good. It ties together four different Christmas stories in one night. And then there’s William Shatner. Honestly I can’t recommend this one enough. So underrated!

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z3ybMTpqFw

11. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

I know, I know. I hate subtitles too. But seriously this one is gold. ITS SO GOOD!! WATCH IT!  THEN FIND ME AND TALK TO ME ABOUT IT!

Trailer - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwT3wtUCv9Y

12. Krampus (2015)

If you recall my favorite Halloween movie, you know I’m a huge fan of Micheal Dougherty. He directed this film as well. And I adore it. It might be bias but this movie is just so fun. So many levels of horror with a dash of whimsy. So yes. On the last day of Christmas, watch this one. You won’t be disappointed. 

Did I miss any? Which one is your favorite? Comment on this post or contact me directly. 

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 2x06 Fog of War

This episode has one major character introduction (and one minor one), which might have been a cool reveal the first time I saw it, if I hadn't been always spoiled on it; some really tense moments involving major revelations for the characters themselves, which made me think for a moment I'd give this episode a higher rating; and a very questionable follow-up to the major storyline from the previous episode, which made me rate it lower than the previous few episodes, but nowhere near as low as an upcoming episode all focused on that storyline, and that's just because it's still a minor part of this episode.

Rating: 7.5/10

You've probably guessed what I meant already: the way the show deals with the aftermath of Finn's mass murder in the Grounder village is full of problems and annoying character behavior. Which gets even worse in episode 2x08, but it starts here, when we learn that Finn was questioned by the Council*in Camp Jaha and fully cleared, because, according to Abby: "He thought he was rescuing his friends". Sorry, what? Usually it's the Grounders that get on my nerves with their dumb decisions and attitudes, but this time, this storyline always made me extremely irritated with the Arkers. WTF is wrong with their judicial system and their moral views? They used to give death sentences on the Ark for any damn thing, from smoking weed to stealing medicine for your kids to giving birth to a second child to getting born as a second child; they announced they aren't doing it on the ground, but then were insisting on maintaining law and order by locking people up for hitting someone, or shock-lashing them for letting some of them go on an authorised mission; but killing 18 unarmed civilians who weren't posing a threat, all on your own - that's what they're OK with?

*Speaking of which, who’s in the Council now? Not any of the old members, since they died in Diana’s terrorist attack last season. We never see any of the new council members and I don’t we ever even hear about the council again. It’s always apparently just the Chancellor – whoever it is at the time (Abby, Kane, Pike) – making decisions on their own.

Now, if they had released Finn on the grounds of him suffering from PTSD, having diminished capacity - that would be a different matter. But they didn't. No one ever says explicitly that Finn is suffering from PTSD or has any kind of mental issue, and if they do think he has, why haven't they tried to help him? Do they even know anything about mental health? Do they have psychologists and psychiatrists? Going by everything we see in this and the following seasons, they have no clue. But in this case, the writers didn't seem to have much of a clue, either. (The show did much better with Jasper's storyline later on, though characters in-universe treated it just as poorly.) They even let Finn carry a gun and go on a recon mission with everyone else, and this time I’m totally with Octavia when she says she can’t believe they did it. (But does this mean that Octavia is the only one bothered because she is the only one who knew one of the victims?)

There are just mentions of how Finn has changed, etc. And then Raven even tells Finn "We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours." Um, no, no, Raven, you cannot do this with mental scars. That's not how it works. But, ironically, she'll find that out herself with what she will go through in seasons 3-4.

When I binged the show for the first time, I thought Finn’s character was a big failure because he was supposed to likable and a good guy, but never really came off that way. On rewatch, I realized he works much better as a character if I assume he was never meant to be all that likable in the first place. But “did they actually expect me to find him likable here, or not?” is something I’m still not sure at many points, and that’s the case in this episode. If they did, they really failed. It would be different if Finn was showing real guilt over what he had done, instead of going around trying to talk to Clarke and complaining because she’s not comfortable around him. “You don’t look at me the way you used to.” Duh! What did you expect?

The episode starts with an interesting scene where Clarke and Bellamy are making plans how to save their friends from Mount Weather. Bellamy actually says at one point that, if the Council doesn’t authorize the mission to save them, he’ll go there on his own. Which he seriously meant as that’s what he does in 2x09. Bellamy then asks about Finn (the second and last time the two of them ever talk about any of each other’s love interests) and Clarke replies she hasn’t talked to Finn, while Bellamy is trying to make lighter of Finn’s actions, saying “We’ve all done bad things” - .obviously to try to make her feel better, and because he feels guilty for allowing Finn to continue the mission with just Murphy to look after him, since we know from before that he’s well aware of the gravity of Finn’s actions. Then Finn arrives, his body language saying: “Go away, I need to talk to Clarke, since my relationship with her is the most important thing in the world”. Bellamy is understanding and walks away, while Clarke is following him with her eyes until he leaves, her body language saying “I much preferred you company, why did you have to leave me with him?” She’s obviously creeped out and doesn’t know how to act around this new, murderous Finn, who appears to be so much different from what she thought the guy she fell in love was. The time they spend together – hiding from the acid fog – in the house, where Finn killed Delano, the Grounder prisoner, doesn’t help – Finn takes a chance to give her Jake’s watch, but the moment is obviously spoiled for her by Delano’s dead body she sees lying there. What do you mean, murder isn’t a great way to say “I love you”? But it seems like I’m supposed to feel sorry for him, when he and Clarke have an exchange about how war has changed them all:

“I don’t even know who you are anymore.”

“Neither do I.”

“What have we become?”

With how I feel about this storyline, it may seem odd that I’m still rating this episode rather high, but 1) it is still a rather small part of this episode (and I’m going to pour all my hate for this storyline into episode 2x08), 2) Clarke’s extreme discomfort with Finn is character and makes sense –they may have released him, but that doesn’t mean people really feel like nothing has changed, and 3) the other storylines in this episode are really good.

I really like the scenes where Bellamy and Octavia go on their own to find an entrance into Mount Weather to save Lincoln -together with some Arker guards who decided to help them rather than listen to their orders - and are shocked to find him as a Reaper, who doesn’t recognize them but seems to have some sort of a reaction to Octavia’s voice. Those scenes are really intense, and the literal darkness of the Mount Weather hallways combined with the cheesy Christmas song that starts playing all of a sudden from a wind-up toy, just before a Reaper attack, makes for one of the creepier and more effective season 2 scenes.

(Season 2 was by far the most harmonious one for the Blake sibling relationship. Or rather, the only one. Their relationship is usually extremely dysfunctional.)

Major developments happen in Mount Weather itself. This is when Jasper, Monty and the other Delinquents finally learn the truth about their hosts – thanks to Maya, who has found out that her “accidental” radioactivity contamination was planned, and realized that the 47 may soon meet the same fate as the Grounders caught in MW. I’ve always liked Maya – I trusted her since first seeing 2x01. She’s one of the most underrated characters on The 100, IMO.

The scene where Maya shows Jasper and Monty the cages with people in them and people getting drained, is a really strong one. I love this dialogue where she tries to explain the mentality of the ordinary Mountain Men and their silent complicity in what their regime is doing:

Maya: “Everyone knows, we don’t talk about it (…) Look, without the treatments, we die. What were we supposed to do?” Monty: “Die.”

It’s one of the times when the show really successfully did moral ambiguity. Monty’s answer is kind of harsh, but completely understandable since he’s just seen the horrors happening, and he’s kind of right, but he’s also kind of wrong… Because it’s not exactly easy for people to ignore such a basic instinct as survival, for the sake of morality and humanness. But as we later learn, Maya’s mother did make that choice, refuse the treatments, and die. And Maya herself will help the Arkers, and die, as a result – kind of killed by Monty himself, saying “None of us is innocent” as her final words.

We also get more insight into the Wallace father-son relationship, with signs of their upcoming conflict, and some more info about MW. Though Dante’s title is President, we learn that every president of MW has been a Wallace. They’re basically a dynasty like the Kims in North Korea. We learn that the initial plan for the 48 was to “assimilate them into our gene pool”, which explains the chocolate cake and all other attempts to charm them. Dante must have been happy to see Maya and Jasper get close, in that case all he needed to do was let nature take its course, but how did they intend to do that with the rest of the kids? Arrange marriages/relationships? Ask them for sperm/egg cells? Dante is against draining the kids and says he “won’t put them in cages like animals”. You mean, like other people you already have in cages? Mount Weather will, in Dante’s opinion, eventually will be breached by radiation, which is an explanation for the panic of the Mountain Men, but Dante insists that it’s not just important to be able to go the surface, but that he won’t deserve to survive if he allows it. Um… you already don’t deserve it. Why does he draw the line with the kids? Is it because he thinks of the Grounders as “savages” and finds it easier to dehumanize them?

(BTW, what on Earth made Dante give his son the name Cage, of all the things he could have possibly named him?!)

At the end of the episode, the kids in MW have decided to pretend and work within MW to get out, with Jasper and Monty have decided to volunteer for blood donations to fool their hosts. Raven has meanwhile discovered the secret MW channel, realized that it was MW that crashed the Exodus ship and that they are jamming all radio communications. She and Abby discussed whether to destroy the Mountain Men tower that does the jamming, which would allow them to get in radio contact with other possible survivors from other Ark stations, or to not do it and listen in to the Mountain Men conversations instead, which would allow them to rescue the kids from MW – and Abby finally made the decision to do the latter, which means she’s finally supporting Clarke in her determination to save her friends. The consequence of this is also that the Farm station survivors (including Pike, Hannah Green and Bryan) will only join the other Arkers in season 3.

The big character introduction in the episode is, of course, Lexa. Her right hand man/bodyguard Gustus is also introduced, and he utters the line “Blood must have blood”, talking about retaliation for Finn’s massacre, which is the first time we hear that line. I’ll never know if the twist at the end of the episode that Lexa is the Commander would have been a surprise for me. I was already spoiled, long before I started watching the show, that there was a character called “Commander Lexa”, that she has a relationship with Clarke at some point, and gets killed by a stray bullet after the first time they had sex – because that was a huge controversy in 2016, which you couldn’t avoid if you were visiting any online fandom sites, even if you knew nothing about The 100. So, when she introduced herself as Lexa, I knew “oh, so she’s the Commander”. The show did a good job playing against expectations by introducing her as a frail-looking young servant girl, playing on her youth and looks, so I might have been fooled otherwise, or I might have gotten suspicious after she was just standing there listening and observing Jaha and Kane all the time? Or maybe I would have thought she was someone spying for the Commander. In this episode, we just learn she’s smart and can be sneaky and likes to get a measure of her opponents/enemies – but we don’t really get more sense of what she’s like as a person and leader until around 2x09.

The thing with Kane and Jaha being made to fight to the death to supposedly decide who will live and be set free, reminds me of the Blodreina gladiator fights in season 5, except those were actual fights to the death, while this was just a ploy, and Octavia got the idea from the Roman history. But I guess that type of death match wouldn’t have been a foreign concept to the Grounders from the Wonkru.

The show tried to play with expectations for a second with Kane taking the knife to do something, as if he was going to kill Jaha, but at that point, we already knew what Kane was really like, so his attempt at self-sacrifice, in order to end the war, was not a surprise. He is still haunted by guilt for the culling (Jaha: “You didn’t order the massacre” – Kane: “Not this one”). One of the reasons I started liking him is that he is one of the few characters, alongside Clarke and Bellamy, who show genuine remorse for their actions. Another good piece of dialogue is when Jaha says that the things they did on the Ark were for survival of the human race, with Kane pointing out that the human race was, in fact, surviving without them anyway – to which Jaha replied that they are, then, doing everything for their people. Which is the justification/guiding motive Jaha has from this moment on: “for my people”.

I’m still not sure what exactly Lexa’s take from all of this was, since she declared to Kane“Your intention are honorable, and your desire for peace is true”, so apparently, she appreciated his conviction – but then she let Jaha go to be a messenger and deliver the dramatic message to the Arkers to “Leave or die!”, while detaining Kane to further talk to him, or observe him (?), or keep him as a hostage? What exactly was she planning to do with him?

Anyway, this is the only time that Lexa and Jaha ever interacted. It would have been interesting to see them talk about leadership some time, since they strike me as similar type of leaders: both are ruthless, believe that the end justifies the means and justify their actions by saying it’s all for their people, but their concept of “their people” is an abstract one, because they are less concerned with the welfare of individuals that make up the collective called “my people”, and are ready to sacrifice quite a few of them if their goals require it.

Timeline: 2 days after Human Trials. This is one of the few times we actually get some pointers about the time that has passed – and one of the few times we get a.. mini time jump. It’s weird to call 2 days a time jump, but most of the episodes start right after the previous one. It was only late in season 3 (after the “Six months earlier” tag in 3x13) that I realized how condensed the show’s timeline was.

Body count: 1 Arker guard killed by the fog, other two killed by Reapers, a couple of Reapers killed by Bellamy.

[chaossmagic]

Hi!! Robron Secret Santa here! ❄️🌲☃️ I hope you are having a great day! I wanted to ask a few questions so I could get you know you better. What is your favorite color/s? Do you have a favorite quote or song? What are your top 10 robron scenes? Is there anything you really want to see on your gift? I’m so excited I got you and Merry Christmas!!

Hello my darling Secret Santa!!! It is nice to meet you (sort of)!!! And afsdghhhdgfkkh you are excited to get little old me??? I am intrigued! And happy because you are so sweet, Secret Santa

favourite colours - reds, purples, blues, silver, black. actually i like any colours except browns and greys. but reds, purples and blues are my favourites.

favourite song - too many! but i’m kind of obsessed with “let me love you” by rita ora because it just. SCREAMS. affair era robron (and i love the affair era, even though i gather a lot of people don’t?? i just. i love how tropey it is. GLORIOUS.) also anything by ariana grande or halsey. if you wanted to go down the angsty route, her ‘badlands’ album is full of beautiful lyrics that i just love, and may speak to your inspiration ;)

top 10 robron scenes - why are you doing this to me, secret santa? why?

1. technically not a robron scene because robert isn’t even in it, but i love the conversation aaron has with paddy where he admits he loves robert and confesses who he’s really been seeing, or his relationship status anyway. the raw honesty in that scene from someone who is usually so guarded is heartbreaking…and sweet.

2. the deleted watch scene from the wedding 2.0. IT’S ADORABLE. 

3. literally any time they refer to each with the other’s last name. i melt inside every time they do their “mr dingle/mr sugden” bit. IT’S TOO CUTE.

4. the reunion 2.0 from earlier this year. enough said.

5 the christmas/prison goodbye from 2016. i bawled my fucking eyes out and was not okay for several hours (days). the forehead touch, which wasn’t even scripted, danny and ryan just did that for the hell of it. 

6. the gordon abuse reveal scene. robert’s dawning horror as he realizes what aaron is telling him, and how aaron is so brave and strong even though he’s going to pieces and robert just sits there and listens, without judging, without passing any comments, just letting him tell his story. it’s hard to watch, but it’s so well done and, imo, underrated. 

7. let’s add onto that and go with that whole stretch of episodes where aaron falls ill after getting sepsis from an infected self-inflicted injury and robert is the one who rushes him to hospital and gets him help. he didn’t have to, but he did. he looked after him while he was sick, was genuinely worried about him, and told the reception nurse aaron was his boyfriend just so he could see him and make sure for himself that he was alright. 

8. the lakeside scene when we meet liv for the first time and robert tells him he’ll wait for aaron, as long as he needs him to, so that he can heal and move on, and when he’s ready he’ll be waiting with open arms for him again

9. that scene where aaron walks in on liv chasing robert around the mill with a saucepan, because it’s hilarious 

10. SSW where they’re both on the verge of drowning and they both use their last few breaths to tell the other to save themselves and go - but refuse, because if they’re going to die, they are dying together dammit, no-one is getting left behind 

These are just off the top of my head!!! But I hope that’s given you some things to get started :) I’m really looking forward to getting my gift from you!!

[thisislizheather]

October Occurrences 2020

Forgive the lateness of this monthly post! I wish I could say it’s late because I’ve been crazy busy, but it’s really been because I’ve been lounging my ass around various corners of my parent’s house and trying my best to not watch any American news. Here’s what went down last month.

I started watching The Parkers and, as expected, it’s pretty great. Kim for life.

I got a lash lift aaaaaand it was bullshit. My eyes have never been more irritated and that’s coming from someone who went through corneal surgery. I think lash lifts are supposed to be for people who already have long lashes. But if you have long lashes, then why the hell do you need them to be lifted? SCAM.

Are eyelash curlers bad for people with short lashes? I was told they were. But that was by someone who also recently fucked my lashes, so I’m not sure what to believe now.

So many new movies were watched in October: Killer Klowns From Outer Space (absolutely great), Motel Hell (also great), Moment of Truth: Stalking Back (too real, a little hard to watch, but I’m really looking forward to watching other made-for-tv-movies from the series), Hush (a great movie, but again: too much, I might not be able to handle modern horror & I’m fine with that), Summer Camp Nightmare (great), Goodnight Mommy (parts of it were really cringe-y to watch but it was incredible), Mom (so, so underrated), Wolf (it was actually pretty good, how on earth had I not seen it before?), House on Haunted Hill (the old version and it was great! It ends abruptly but it’s still a fun movie), Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (80s as hell, but not as terrible as I thought it’d be), Creepshow 2 (just a good time), Frogs (terrible and not in a fun way), Cujo (just a story of neglectful pet owners), Night of the Demons (not bad, not good), This Is Paris (it was really, really good. It’s definitely hard to watch if you’ve dealt with abuse in any way, but it’s really well done) and I got through about nine minutes of Cats before I just had to call it.

The next season of Shrill started filming!

I finally went to Sleepy Hollow and wrote about it over here.

A recipe for mini meatloaf ghosts created by the ever-delightful, Chef John.

Among the top three of funniest Fresh Prince scenes ever.

Ate the hazelnut & cappuccino cronut this month and it was spectacular.

Started getting the cashew yogurt from Trader Joe’s and it’s so addictive.

The new SNLs have been all right, nothing special. And look, I love Jim Carrey. Forever will. But he isn’t good as Biden. It’s such a weird choice. Highlight of the episodes this month? The Bieber performances, surprisingly.

I made the Impossible Burger at home (you can buy them at any Fairway Market) and they’re absolutely the top veggie burger on the market today. So damn good.

There’s this restaurant in Mississauga (Erin Mills Pump & Patio) that does such a good job of replicating this now-off-menu pasta that I used to love from Snug Harbour and I’m so thankful to have found it. (It’s the Hunters Penne Pasta with chicken, cremini and shitake mushrooms, Italian parsley, black truffle oil in a white wine cream sauce incase you want to taste heaven.)

We went to Downey’s on Halloween this year and for the first time got their homemade cheese bread. Life will never be the same. Some photos of the day below.

The LCBO puts out a seasonal magazine with food and drink recipes that I looooove. One of my favourite magazines for sure.

Here’s a list of hidden horror movie categories on Netflix, should you be interested.

I read and reviewed Sofie Hagen’s new book Happy Fat and it was such a great read.

Such a shame about the beautiful Roosevelt Hotel closing down.

Dolly Parton will forever be charming as hell.

I made a batch of hot ginger toddies and yes they were good but waaaay too high maintenance to make at home. It’s definitely a drink that’s easier to just order when out.

I made these ginger sesame noodles with caramelized mushrooms and wow. Definitely will make again. I’d never thought of having broth at the bottom of a bowl full of noodles, but it’s such a great idea.

Also made these incredible apple cheddar biscuits.

Riverdale finally has a return date: January 21st!

If you find yourself in NYC in November, I beg you… please go eat the Thanksgiving croissant from Milk Bar. You will regret nothing.

There was a full moon on Halloween and I hope you made the most of it.

I made these pumpkin and pesto cheese stuffed shells because I’ve always wanted to make something savory with pumpkin and it was really, really good.

Loving this Etsy shop’s candles. I’ve only ordered two so far, but I’m a big fan.

Baby Dog’s old lobster costume made its way onto a pet costume list.

Of course I dressed up for Halloween, how dare you think I wouldn’t. (I also watched this tutorial on how to do the older lady makeup.)

Best tweets of the month over here.

Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: reading Lindy West’s new book, decorating my parent’s house for the Christmas season, and SNOW. 

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in September over here.

[noelmu]

MONTH IN REVIEW 12/3/17 - 12/31/17

As another year ends, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to “put everything in perspective.” It’s helpful advice, I think, though it’s advice that depends a lot on what kind of perspective the person proceeds to take. Throughout 2017, I know a lot of us have struggled with anxiety over geopolitical matters that are beyond the average person’s control. For me though, one of the takeaways from this year is that whenever possible I should remove myself from the daily discourse for a second, take a breath, and adopt either a broader or narrower view.

In the broader sense, I’ve found that it’s helped to look at history, and to think about the difficulties faced by civilizations before us, and the various cycles and swings: from prosperity to lack and back again, and between poles of authoritarianism and openness. Even in recent years, I’ve noticed that over and over our pundit class has made pronouncements about changes in the culture that they insist are locked-in and permanent, until they turn out to be anything but. I’ve seen Democrats and Republicans win elections after political scientists have declared that demographics and/or social attitudes should’ve made those victories impossible. In my lifetime I’ve seen radical changes in Eastern Europe, China, and the Middle East -- sometimes for the better, sometimes not. All I know for sure is that what we’re afraid of one day has been known to dissipate almost overnight (usually to be replaced by some new horror, granted). This doesn't make our fears unfounded, nor does it justify complacency. But it does mean that maybe we don’t have to be on edge 24-7.

In the narrower sense, 2017 to me has reemphasized the value of acting locally. Sweeping, nationwide changes are difficult; but there are plenty of daily opportunities to improve the quality of life in our immediate vicinity. Early this year I heard an interview with Asia Argento in which she said that after a lifetime of living under a corrupt Italian government, she’s learned to ignore what politicians do, and instead to focus on the people who live on her block. Granted, Argento is a well-known actress and filmmaker, which affords her the privilege to a little philosophical. But that doesn’t make her approach to life entirely wrong. All year long I’ve read stories about people on a local level getting things done. It’s been very encouraging, to know that on the smallest day-to-day level, a civil society can still click right along.

Narrowing my perspective even further, down to my house, I have to admit that we’ve had a pretty good year here. I worked pretty much non-stop, from January all the way up to this week. Donna has really connected with her last two freshman classes, and has settled into a personally satisfying role as a mentor to some truly outstanding young people. Our own two youngsters, Archer and Cady Gray, have accomplished some remarkable things both inside the classroom and at home, as they’ve pursued their various obsessions and hobbies. Cady Gray took a school trip to New York, became the designated artist for an on-line role-playing game, and got to sing with her choir at an Arkansas Symphony Orchestra Christmas concert. Archer made All-State in choir, got a 5 on the AP Physics test, a 4 on the AP World History test, and scholarship-worthy 1480 on the PSAT. We took our first real family vacation this summer, making memories we’ll carry with us for a lifetime.

One of the unexpected complications of our current time is that it’s hard not to feel a little apologetic when things are going well, given that social media and the incessant stream of news alerts never let us forget about how crummy others are feeling. But at the same time, I’ve invested a lot in my work, my marriage, and my children, and it would be ungracious not to appreciate the breaks I’ve been given, let alone to squander them.

So here’s how the Murray/Bowman household is ending 2017: stressed, but happy, and looking forward to better days, for all of us. Thank you for reading, and may God bless you all.

And now if you’re looking for something to do this New Year’s Eve, here’s a long list of links...

The A.V. Club The best films of 2017 that we didn’t review (I wrote about My Happy Family, Uncertain, and Walking Out) The A.V. Club’s 20 best TV shows of 2017 (I wrote about Halt And Catch Fire) The best film scenes of 2017 (I wrote about BPM and Call Me By Your Name) The 20 worst films of 2017 (I wrote about The Shack, Flatliners, and CHiPs) The 20 best films of 2017 (I wrote about Logan Lucky, Baby Driver, and Get Out, and my ballot is here)

The Los Angeles Times First person: Being a film buff in Arkansas isn't as hard as it used to be Under The Radar: Keanu, Hasidic Jews and streaming support (I wrote about John Wick: Chapter 2, Menashe, My Happy Family, Nocturama, and Their Finest) The Year In Home Entertainment: The Vietnam War and the best new video and streaming picks of 2017 Movie Review: Human Barbie can't save The Doll from its own incompetent horror Movie Review: Qatari sheiks pursue passion for falconry in documentary The Challenge Movie Review: Hollow In The Land has a winning similarity to Winter's Bone Movie Review: Eclectic guitarist gets his due in Bill Frisell: A Portrait Movie Review: Arty approach to woodland horror bogs down Desolation Movie Review: Netflix gets epic with Will Smith's fantasy-action thriller Bright, but the result is less than thrilling New In Home Entertainment: Dunkirk is a stirring and stunning World War II epic New In Home Entertainment: Tom Cruise pairs intensity and charisma in American Made

The New York Times 11 Shows We’ll Be Talking About In December TV Review: A Christmas Story Live! Wasn’t Lively Enough

Rolling Stone 10 Best TV Episodes of 2017: Better Call Saul, “Chicanery” 10 Best Horror Movies of 2017 (I wrote about Super Dark Times, The Devil’s Candy, and The Blackcoat’s Daughter) 12 New TV Shows You Should Be Watching (I wrote about At Home With Amy Sedaris, Brockmire, Detroiters, Great News, Manhunt: Unabomber, Tales From The Tour Bus, Sweet/Vicious, and What Would Diplo Do?) TV Review: The Walking Dead Season 8 Episode 7: Eugene-ics 101 TV Review: The Walking Dead Season 8 Episode 8: The Son Also Rises

Uproxx What We Talk About When We Don’t Talk About Young Sheldon

The Verge The Twin Peaks: The Return Blu-ray set explains what the show is, not what it means The 20 best TV shows of 2017

The Week Why The Middle is TV's most underrated comedy Tonya Harding's belated moment to shine Are Molly's Game and The Post too obviously about 2017?

[respekt1111]

One of my favorite reads of 2017 was Grady Hendrix’s Paperbacks from Hell. Hendrix, the author of gimmicky Horrorstor and My Best Friend’s Exorcism, rounds up the best of cheesy, pulp horror from the 70’s and 80’s and presents them in all their insane glory. With a focus on mass-market paperbacks and their gorgeous, gory covers, Hendrix pays tribute to the underrated artists and authors whose work combines to offend, disgust, and delight the reader.

A goodly portion of my reading time this year has been devoted to wallowing in this madness, leading me to find a new favorite author, and, as per usual, Nazis. I traveled over a century in horror this year. How has horror fiction changed?

1872: Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu

The particular edition I read had the fun quirk of not having any page numbers

Published 25 years ahead of Dracula , Carmilla might be the OG of vampires. Just like it’s more famous successor, there’s a dark castle in the middle of nowhere, mysterious deaths, ladies fainting all over the place, and a mysterious, charming woman who sleeps later than a teenager.

The horror literature of this era tended to be melodramatic and vague, professions and exclamations and declarations littered plots, which veered toward the nonsensical when summed up cliff-notes style. Gore was limited to “Yeah, we cut off her head” without going into visceral descriptions.

Looking at the billions of iterations of vampires that followed, the vampire as a solitary, blood-stealing creature with a few simple rules about sunlight and wooden stakes is refreshing. The title character, Carmilla, just wants to live for eternity and drink some blood? Can’t we leave her be?

1959-62: The Haunting of Hill House/The Sundial by Shirley Jackson, Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury

I read Shirley Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House every year because it’s my absolute favorite novel, and if you don’t think it’s the greatest, you’re obviously illiterate.

Published in 1959, the novel inspired authors from Richard Matheson to Sarah Langan to Stephen King. In addition to re-reading Haunting, I read Jackson’s earlier, apocalyptic novel The Sundial, a less polished story about a group of characters huddling together in an isolated mansion, slowly driving each other mad as they await a prophesied apocalypse.

Sounds kind of like election night, 2016.

In Paperbacks from Hell, Hendrix describes this particular period as lagging behind the times. “Horror seemed to have no future,” he writes, “because it was trapped in the past.” Classics like those above would not be labeled “horror,” but ostensibly the more reader-friendly “thriller.”

A novel about two boys who encounter a haunted carnival with a time machine carousel, a witch in a hot air balloon, disfigured victims disguised as circus acts, and a demonic ringmaster with living tattoos certainly sounds like a horror novel though. Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes is plotted like horror but reads like a stream of consciousness, coming-of-age tale. It’s almost sweet, in a grotesque, demented way.

The horror novels of this era could be viewed either of two ways. One: they’re musty relics tied to the gothic moorings of Bronte, Du Maurier, Shelley, and Stoker, trapped in polite conventions where the darkest of acts are implied. Or they’re the last vestige of honorable horror before the flood of depraved and disgusting tripe that flooded the market in the 70’s and 80’s and of course perverted our children’s minds.

It’s really kind of both. Horror finally caught up to the culture at a time when cinema was going for broke with brutal films like Last House on the Left, Straw Dogs, and Cannibal Holocaust. It became less about ghost rapping under tables and more about maniacs playing jump rope with intestines. Clive Barker’s Books of Blood could certainly complete with the nastier of movies that seared our brains and haunted our dreams.

1979-1982: Michael McDowell, You Guys

My very first audiobook this year was a little gem called The Elementals. I bought it because it was super cheap and actually looked pretty good. It was great. Who knew the writer for Beetlejuice and The Nightmare Before Christmas could churn out cheesy horror pulps full of memorable characters and atmospheric chills?

I’ve already written at length about The Elementals, Katie, and The Amulet. I just wanted to give another shout-out to my new favorite horror author. Sadly, he died in 1999 at the age of 49 and the world is a lesser place because of that.

1977-1984: The Amityville Horror/Incarnate/Wolf’s Hour

As I was adding up the fiction and non-fiction I read this year, I paused as I tried to categorize Jay Anson’s The Amityville Horror. Is it fiction? Is it non-fiction? Will we ever know for sure?

Just kidding. That shit is made up.

I just started listening to an entertaining podcast called My Favorite Murder, on which the hosts relate their favorite murders each episode. There’s something like a hundred episodes now, so that’s a lot of murder. They commented on how there seemed to be an explosion of crazy murders happening in the 70’s, and one of those crazy murders was committed by Ronald DeFeo, who shot his entire family while they slept, then went to the bar.

Even crazier is the curious immortality of The Amityville Horror. Posited as a true story, it tell the story of the Lutz family, those unfortunate souls who moved into the house where the murders were committed. They only stayed 28 days, claiming all sorts of paranormal nonsense. Approximately eight million movies have been made, as recent as this year.

I was surprised by how readable Amityville turned out to be; the writing is solidly mediocre, and I can only assume the author was paid extra for exclamation marks. But the story is pretty good. Truthful? Believable? Not so much.

The Wolf’s Hour is by the same author who brought you the apocalyptic epic, Swan Song. It may be the only decent werewolf novel in existence. My review of it is here. Suffice it to say one of the classic, if not so pulpy, 80’s authors.

Incarnate is by another master of horror, Ramsey Campbell. It’s a slow burn, and for much of the novel, it seems like nothing is happening at all, or that it’s fitting together in any coherent manner. But wait until the end. A group of people participate in a study about prophetic dreaming, and eleven years later, the echoes of that mutually shared dream finally bear down.

* * *

I have to thank Paperbacks from Hell and Michael McDowell for igniting a love for schlocky horror. I’ve always been a big B movie fan; one of my favorite films is the bloodiest movie ever made, Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive (or Braindead.) The nerd in me delights at the intersection of cheese and gore where the 80’s collided to produce some of the most ridiculous and amazing horror films/books of all time.

*Lawnmower Massacres

I read MacBeth this year and was thrilled to connect with well known references such as “By the pricking of my thumbs” (Agatha Christie novel) “something wicked this way comes” (Bradbury novel). Also there are multiple references in Hamilton (“tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,” “screw your courage to the sticking place.”)

I remember watching Something Wicked This Way Comes as a kid and being pretty freaked out by some tarantulas. That’s all I remember.

Seriously, if you’re the morbid sort, My Favorite Murder is a super-fun and funny podcast. Their tagline is “Stay Sexy. Don’t Get Murdered.” Rules to live by.

So there’s a big gap between Carmilla and the horror fiction of the 50’s and 60’s in this post. Inhabiting that gap I can only assume is the cosmic void wherein dwells the eldritch gods.

2017 in Review – Horror Through the Eons One of my favorite reads of 2017 was Grady Hendrix's Paperbacks from Hell. Hendrix, the author of gimmicky 

[nathanielwharton]

My 2019 in Pop Culture

Same plan here as usual. I discovered this as a draft from back in January that I hadn’t found images for yet. Posting it now, without edits.

Top Forty Things From 2019

45. A Town Called Panic: Agricultural Fair I made a last minute dash into the city to see this at the New York International Children's Film Festival screening (I ducked in, huffing and puffing, as the lights went down), but I was so glad I did. I love these shorts, and this one was an absolutely bonkers, madcap wonder.

44. "Gotham City Guys" from The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part I enjoyed the second Lego Movie pretty well, but I loved this song.

43. Finding Drago This is an Australian podcast about the search for the author of Drago: On Mountains We Stand, a book about Ivan Drago from Rocky IV. It was a delight.

42. Crawl I had a pretty good time with a bunch of horror movies this year. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark made some good use of 3D realizations of Stephen Gammell's potent artwork. Ready or Not was a good cat-and-mouse with a fun ending to see with an audience. Happy Death Day 2U kept the comic frisson of the original, pushing it further into nutty science fiction, while slipping in some real emotion. But the one that probably gave me the most thrills was Crawl. An expertly nasty little piece of work, it efficiently keeps turning the screws up the the very end. Jesse and I remarked afterward that we basically alternated leaning forward with our hands on our faces and leaning back, bracing on the armrest, throughout the entire movie.

41. When They See Us Urgent and harrowing.

40. Mindhunter (Season 2) The rhythms of this show are so distinctive and engrossing. It's not exactly Zodiac: The Series, but it is fascinating in some similar ways and I hope they come back and make more of it.

39. Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Season 4, Part 2) I might (okay, definitely) be underrating this final batch of one of my favorite shows on TV. Blame it on Netflix’s half-season strategy, and not on these episodes that were as overstuffed as ever with a breathtaking array of jokes delivered by a note perfect cast. I’ll miss if, but I'm grateful for those final moments. (The line "Your books make me feel safe” definitely made me tear up.)

38. They Shall Not Grow Old in 3D This documentary was fascinating as a look at the less-covered (at least in my lifetime) First World War, and it was AMAZING as a visual experience, watching 100 year-old documentary footage in such an immersive way. And the short documentary that followed my screening showing the process of making the film was worth the price of admission on its own.

37. Glass at the Shyamalanathon Few things can top the weird thrill of seeing the ending of Split before hearing even a hint about the ending (Jesse and I were audibly shocked and delighted, and then spent part of the credits explaining the reveal to the kids in front of us after they asked us about it). So I was pretty psyched for this one. I caught Glass at the end of a Shyamalanathon at the Alamo Drafthouse, where they showed Unbreakable, Split, and a preview screening of Glass, with a Q&A with Shyamalan himself. I had a GREAT time.

36. Amazing Grace I saw it with about 8-10 people in the theater, and folks were still witnessing with Amens and hallelujahs from the back of the auditorium. They were well warranted.

35. The Twilight Zone Revival I definitely preferred this to the last revival, and the hit-to-miss ratio felt pretty standard for an anthology show. Highlights for me were "Nightmare at 30,000 Feet," "Replay," and "A Traveler." Looking forward to the next batch of them.

34. One Cut of the Dead A twisty, surprising one-shot zombie thriller that reveals itself to be something much different (and much more charming) than you'd expect.

33. Star Trek: Discovery - Pike sees his future This season of Discovery had a number of really strong elements (and I'm super intrigued to see what they do with that setup for the third season), but the part that probably most moved me was in episodes 12, "Through the Valley of Shadows." Captain Pike (a wonderful performance all season by Anson Mount; definitely looking forward to that spin-off) is given a vision of his eventual fate, which we know from the original series, in which he is severely disabled in an accident. He is told that if he takes the time crystal from the Klingon temple to help save the day in the season's storyline that he cannot change this fate and is essentially dooming himself. And he gives the most moving, Starfleety performance in choosing the greater good over himself.

32. Genndy Tartakovsky's Primal This was a visceral, thrilling surprise. I caught the first four episodes as a screening at the Alamo and it knocked my socks off. The final episode of this initial run was also really rad. Pure animation.

31. Under the Silver Lake Seeing this one at a late night screening felt just right, as it creates such a bewitching, hallucinatory spell. As someone who enjoyed reading about conspiracy as a youth and recognizes but (hopefully!) avoided indulging the kind of solipsism on display in Garfield's character, I was pretty into this movie.

30. Missing Link This Laika joint was an easy lay-up for me (an adventurer helping Bigfoot to find a lost civilization of yeti? sold.) and it did the trick.

29. Frozen II It's not as clean a narrative as the original, and Kristoff's storyline is too sitcommy, but this still packed a lot of emotional punch for me, and I love that it's a huge Disney animated movie that interrogates colonialism and the way that our history can obscure misdeeds and trauma.

28. The Righteous Gemstones Another acridly funny and tonally daring series from the McBride/Hill/Green team. Loved this first season, and certainly excited to see where they want to take it next.

27. A Series of Unfortunate Events (Season 3) This show continued to be a really marvelous adaptation of the books and the adaptation of the final story (and the elements they included from the ancillary Snicket books) really landed wonderfully. I really wish Netflix had already announced the same team was doing an adaptation series of the All the Wrong Questions books (with Warburton somehow still involved as Lemony Snicket).

26. Klaus & Noelle Two streaming services served up two new Christmas movies this year, and I dug them both. Noelle doesn't quite pull of the same magic trick as Elf, but I found it charming and the cast (and the fact that it is set, in part, in Arizona) went a long way to endearing it to me. And Klaus was a gorgeously animated, very enjoyable surprise. Odds are decent that I pop both of them on again at some point next holiday season.

25. Deadwood: The Movie A bit of bittersweet nostalgia, a post-script, and an elegy. Just the right balance of warm and melancholy. And while the movie definitely didn't give us the Al Swearengen I expected, I was so moved by his story (and McShane's performance).

24. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Season 3) The obvious surface pleasures of this show (the costumes and set design, the snaky sinuous camera work, the charming and charismatic performances, the rat-a-tat dialogue) continued apace, while the storytelling continued to strike a really enjoyable balance between joyful wish-fulfillment and (semi-)realistic period exploration.

23. Adam Sandler & Eddie Murphy on SNL and in the movies The two biggest SNL alumni that had not been back to host (ever, in Sandler's case, or since he was still a cast member, in Murphy's) Adam Sandler and Eddie Murphy both returned too the show that had given them their start and pretty much lived up to decades of expectations. Sandler came back at the end of the 2018-2019 season and it was such a warm, funny homecoming that was really funny without just spending the time revisiting his old characters (the travel agent commercial he was in was one of the best sketches of the season and benefited hugely from his performance), and a genuinely touching tribute to Chris Farley. (And he capped his year with a fantastic, nerve-jangling performance in Uncut Gems, which was a Safdie special, exhausting and exhilarating in equal measure.) Then, following his really galvanizing lead performance in Dolemite is My Name, showing how hilarious and wonderful in a dramatic role he can still be, in the last episode before Christmas in the 2019-2020 season, Eddie Murphy returned to host, coming in with the enormous expectations that would accompany his return to the show at any time with the recent example of having seen it done so right. And they crushed it. His episode understandably featured more of the play-the-hits style of character reprisals, but they generally had clever ideas for using the characters (Mr. Robinson returned to a gentrified neighborhood, Buckwheat was a Masked Singer, and Gumby gave a hilarious Update rant) and, best of all, Murphy brought the necessary energy to make it all work. On top of that, he elevated the non-recurring stuff like a great Baking Championship sketch that he underplayed to perfection, or a North Pole newscast that he knocked out of the park. Both episodes were a joy.

22. Doctor Sleep I liked a lot of stuff in the book, but I think the movie improved on it! I love Mike Flanagan's style of horror story anyway, and it was a really good fit for Doctor Sleep. And the movie does a remarkable job of squaring itself with the Stephen King and Stanley Kubrick versions of The Shining, including a really moving appropriation of elements from the original book and potent movie imagery into a surprisingly touching combination.

21. Stranger Things 3 The run-up to this season was so much fun (special ice creams and store decorations at Baskin-Robbins, a whole Fun Fair set up at Coney Island), and then the season itself was a big summer blockbuster blast that Katie and I spent a whole day on.

20. The Lighthouse This one lingered! Two great performances, a beautiful visual scheme, and a bracing spiral into madness for a story.

19. Parasite Bong Joon-Ho with another what-genre-is-this masterpiece.

18. Watchmen on HBO This was so much richer and provocative than I expected. A compelling and mostly satisfying sequel to a book I didn't much demand a sequel to, it was one of the best shows I watched all year and honored the original by actually being about something.

17. The Farewell A warm and delicate story that really moved me, with a terrific performance by Awkwafina.

16. Jojo Rabbit I've been on Taika Waititi's wavelength since Boy, and this one worked for me as designed, which meant that I was delighted and then devastated.

15. Apollo 11 Like They Shall Never Grow Old, there was such power to seeing a new, vivid angle on major 20th century history.

14. GLOW (Season 3) This season, with it's Las Vegas setting and it stage-show status quo, created a bunch of new dynamics and fun developments (the Christmas Carol version of their show was a delight) while continuing to deepen the characters. Love this show.

13. Dumbo I am generally a Tim Burton guy, but I was surprised by how much I loved this movie. And every moment Michael Keaton was on screen was a great one.

12. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker This was a weird year for Star Wars, with Star Wars: Resistance coming to a satisfactory (but disappointing compared to the previous two animated series) ending and publishing having a handful of fun tie-ins to Galaxy's Edge and Rise of Skywalker, without anything particularly standing out. And all of it was capped off with The Rise of Skywalker, a film that definitely suffers from a bunch of competing storytelling interests. But the big moments that need to hit all pretty much hit for me and the final moments on Tatooine especially got to me.

11. The Irishman We went to see this movie during it's special engagement in a Broadway theater, which felt like an appropriate experience for such an epic. Surprisingly funny and, in the end, almost breathtakingly melancholy, this was a really special movie.

10. Lethal White Another cozy, gripping read. The mystery was less nasty/scary than the last one, but it was still pretty involving, and I certainly want to see what happens next for Strike and Robin.

9. Toy Story 4 This felt truly unnecessary (and even kind of unwelcome) when it was announced, but it turned out to be a genuinely worthy entry. It hits or improves on the expected Toy Story elements (the jokes hit and the characters are lots of fun, and it may be the most beautiful Toy Story, with stunning widescreen animation), and Woody's story builds to a surprising and very emotional climax. Once again, I'd be happy if this was where we left the characters, which is no small feat for a movie that has to push beyond the ending of Toy Story 3.

8. Disney+ (The Mandalorian, The Imagineering Story, Forky Asks a Question, etc) I was still working full time at school and working on my master's degree this fall, so it's not like I really needed a new streaming service to spend time on. But this was such a fun thing to explore. The Mandalorian immediately became appointment television for us (if that whole first episode hadn’t have done it, the final scene would have). But so was The Imagineering Story (one of the best showbiz documentaries I've seen) and Forky Asks a Question ("What? No!" definitely entered our daily lexicon).

7. Once Upon a Time...In Hollywood I loved it for the hang out (I want to watch Cliff Booth and Rick Dalton watch episodes of TV shows together!). I loved it for the incredible tension of the Spahn Ranch sequence. I loved it for the wry wistfulness of the neon sign sequence. I loved it.

6. Knives Out Such a thoroughly great time. I love Rian Johnson's movies in general, but this might be my favorite since Brick.

5. Us I'm reasonably receptive to the "bigger and more rococo" sophomore film, so I was ready to respond to this movie. But it still really knocked me out. I love it for all of the great surface pleasures (scary "monster" design, tense scare sequences, incredible dual performances by Lupita Nyong'o) and I loved it for the chewy thematic ideas it teases at. Peele is two-for-two, in my book.

4. Little Women I was only familiar with this story in a vague sense (like, I am sure I knew one of the sisters died in the book, but I didn't know which one going in). But I LOVED this movie.

3. Avengers: Endgame For this big, climactic year of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, I had made note to include the Skrull reaction shots in Captain Marvel (Talos and the milkshake being the top of the heap), and Spider-Man: Far From Home was as consistently delightful as it's Spidey predecessor, but it's hard to think of a collective audience experience that was more fun than Avengers: Endgame. It basically played out as a series of huge payoffs and shocking moments for about three hours, and between the laughs and cheers and audible sobs, it really ran the full audience-reaction gamut. Hard to imagine another movie building up this kind of steam for a big finale again, and it was pretty special to see on opening night.

2. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance I was pretty excited for this show. The original movie is dear to me, I'd heard really cool, encouraging stuff about the show, and the trailers were pretty gorgeous. And the show exceeded all of my hopes for it. It was funny and exciting. It developed the mythology of Thra in cool, intriguing ways. It was absolutely dazzling to look at. It jockeyed for position with the number 1 spot on this list. I adored it.

1. Godzilla: King of the Monsters I loved this. I wrote about it at SportsAlcohol.com. I saw it five or six times in theaters. A full meal for my imagination.

Top Twenty-Five Things I'm Excited About in 2020

Godzilla vs Kong No question, I'm spectacularly excited to see this one. I loved all three of the previous films leading up to it, and the status quo hinted at in the credits of King of the Monsters suggests some directions that I really hope to see explored further.

Animaniacs revival & Looney Tunes Cartoons Here's hoping that this is finally the year we get to see the new Looney Tunes they've been cooking up (seems like HBO Max will be a good place to put them...) and while it feels like a while since there's been new word on the Animaniacs revival that's due on Hulu, maybe that'll show up this year too. Looking forward to whatever Warner Bros. animation we can get.

Bill & Ted Face the Music One of the few decades-later sequels that I've actively been wanting to happen. I'm so glad this finally happened, and I can't wait to see what it will look like. I love the title. I love the details they've shared so far. And I'm glad to have an excuse to watch the previous two movies in the run-up to this one.

West Side Story Spielberg finally doing his movie musical! And it's a great musical! With a script adapted by Tony Kushner, no less. Sign me up.

Muppets Now I don't know enough about the format of this show to know how excited to be yet (they're generally good at improvising, but the notion of ad-libbed shorts doesn't sound quite like the Muppet Show revival I'd really like to see on Disney+). Still, new Muppets!

The French Dispatch Seems like this one should hit his year after a festival run. Really looking forward to getting a look at what he's cooked up this time.

Death on the Nile #thirtyBranaghPoirotmovies

Onward & Soul Two original Pixar movies in one year! Super excited about this. (Also pretty psyched for another original film from Disney Animation Studios in Raya and the Last Dragon.)

MCU at the Movies I glad to finally get that Black Widow movie this year, and I'm certainly interested to see The Eternals, which has a great cast and sounds like another new avenue to explore in the Marvel movie world.

MCU on Disney+ As excited as I am for the two theatrical Marvel movies this year, I'm also pretty into The Falcon & The Winter Soldier and WandaVision. Now that my beloved Captain America has effectively retired, I'm pretty excited to see what happens to his best friends as Sam Wilson becomes the new Cap. And the word on WandaVision (that it's going to be pretty weird), coupled with the hints that they are taking inspiration from Tom King's run on the Vision comic book, makes this one sound pretty special. The Mandalorian set a high bar for how exciting these Disney+ shows could be, so I'm looking forward to seeing what Marvel comes up with.

In the Heights Hamilton melted my brain five years ago, and the trailer for this movie adaptation of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s first Broadway musical is so wonderful. Can’t wait.

Jungle Cruise Mulan looks super cool, but I've got pretty high hopes for Jungle Cruise. Jaume Collet-Serra is responsible for some wild genre excellence and I'm hoping he was able to bring some of that cracked vision to a big Disney adventure movie with the Rock and Emily Blunt. Sounds good to me.

Tenet Certainly looking forward to seeing Nolan return with another big, original genre picture with a great cast.

Dune Denis Villeneuve's last two science fiction films were aces and he's assembled a great cast here, so I'm hoping he'll do something special with this book.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife For as bad a taste as the ghost-bros left me with in their furor over the pretty fun 2016 remake, I'm loath to admit that I'm really looking forward to this. I liked the trailer, I'm excited to see the original characters return, I really like the new cast members, and I'm looking forward to a story with a different setting and everything.

Last Night in SoHo I like all of Edgar Wright's movies, and this sounds like an interesting change-up for him.

Star Trek on CBS All Access First up this year we know we’re getting Star Trek: Picard, and I’m particularly excited because this is a Star Trek that will be reaching past everything we’ve already seen and showing us a story set in the galaxy after the destruction of Romulus and Spock’s trip back in time. It looks really cool, and it’s pretty exciting to see Patrick Stewart playing the role again. Beyond that, we should have Star Trek: Lower Decks, which sounds like it should be a lot of fun, and the third season of Star Trek: Discovery which, based on the ending of the last season, promises to also explore previously unseen corners of the Star Trek universe/timeline.

Penny Dreadful: City of Angels I loved the original Penny Dreadful, and I'm pretty into the milieu they've set this...sequel? revival? spiritual successor? Pretty cool cast, too.

F9 Still really enjoying these big, wild, nutty movies. And I know my #family will be excited to roll out and see this one together.

Cosmos: Possible Worlds I loved the last Cosmos revival, so I'm really looking forward to seeing what they've come up with for this one.

Over the Moon Netflix is supposed to have a new animated film directed by Glen Keane this year, so I'm looking forward to watching it.

The Witches I love the book (and the original film version, for the most part) and I'm always rooting for Robert Zemeckis to make another stellar entertainment. Hoping this is one!

My Favorite Thing is Monsters Volume 2 Maybe this year!

Halloween Kills I loved the 2018 Halloween sequel, so I'm fully down to see the next two installments, starting with this one.

No Time to Die Daniel Craig’s swan song as Bond, this one has had some pretty rad trailers and a very cool director. Hope he gets to go out on a great one!

[anotheruserwithnoname]

As a new era starts, we’ll never forget Doctor-Clara

Later today, a new era begins. Of course, the Doctor-Clara era technically ended some 16 months ago on TV, about a year ago in other media like comics and audio books, and we’ve already had two post-Clara specials since she left in her TARDIS in “Hell Bent”, but, as we enter into the Bill Potts and Nardole era (which I’ve seen referred to on Twitter as “Life After Clara” 😢 ), this is one of my last opportunities to post an appreciation of this remarkable, and I think we’re going to have to start calling it underrated, pairing before this new era begins.

Right now, we do not know if we’ll ever see these two together on screen again before Peter moves on. It should happen. It may happen. Or it may not happen. There are just as many reasons why it might not happen as it may happen. Some are creative - Jenna herself has said she doesn’t want to pick away at Clara’s finale and Steven Moffat may not be able to come up with a suitable return scenario; some may be logistical - Jenna also may simply not be available due to her Victoria commitments (timing, her contract may not allow it, etc).

But even if it doesn’t happen, we will still have had close to 40 amazing episodes of the Doctor and Clara (including minisodes). Were they all perfect? Of course not. I feel Twelve and Clara were separated far too much in Series 9 and I think the powers that be did make a few mistakes. I am of two minds with regards to Danny, for instance. On the one hand I think it was a mistake attempting to break up the Doctor and Clara in this way; on the other hand - Danny was a catalyst for two of the season’s most remarkable episodes, “Listen” and “Dark Water,” and was indirectly responsible for Whouffaldi shooting into high gear at the end of “Mummy on the Orient Express.”

There were also moments that I felt at times the powers that be displayed a bit of a tin ear to what the fans wanted - and despite the attempts to rewrite history by the media and some fan critics, a lot of people were pulling for them - such as building up Clara and Eleven into a full-fledged romance and then seemingly falling victim to ageism attitudes and taking that away with Twelve. Remembering that at this point as far as everyone was concerned River’s story was done, with Eleven even agreeing to River being described as his ex in “The Name of the Doctor” - the show all but had Clara on the fast track to become for all intents and purposes the Doctor’s next wife. (Watch the “She Said He Said” prequel and listen to what Eleven says about Clara.) It took them to Series 9 to start building that back up again, just in time for Clara to leave. In his interview with Wil Wheaton, Capaldi said depicting the romance this way was “more fun”. Perhaps, but it was “more frustrating,” too, remembering that once Danny was out of the way there were only six episodes, out of the 13 including Last Christmas, in which the Doctor and Clara were actually together for a substantial length of time: Last Christmas, Under the Lake, The Girl Who Died, Sleep No More, Face the Raven and Hell Bent (even if that wasn’t Bonnie in the Zygon story, the two would have only been on screen together for about 5 minutes out of the 90 not counting the speech). The rest of the time they were split up.

But that’s yesterday. Today, we look back on things like the Hammer pastiche “The Crimson Horror,” the modern-day remake of “The War Machines” that was “The Bells of Saint John,” the uber-romantic holiday specials “The Snowmen” and “Last Christmas,” “Listen,” “Mummy on the Orient Express” - which even had skeptics saying “Get a room, you two!” - “Dark Water’s” amazing volcano scene, “The Caretaker” and “Robot of Sherwood” showing the Doctor in full green-eyed monster mode, the Second Doctor throwback “Under the Lake”/”Before the Flood” (except Zoe never challenged the Doctor to prove his love for her by changing history), Jenna’s BAFTA-worthy villain turn in the Zygon storyline, and of course the Raven Trilogy which needs no further introduction.

And I could write forever on the towering chemistry between Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman, and between Matt Smith and Jenna Coleman. This wouldn’t have worked if Steven Moffat and his team hadn’t chosen perfectly when they cast Clara, who clicked so well with Matt that I remember the rumours back in 2013 that they were dating, and they later found in Peter an actor who managed to match and exceed the chemistry shown between Matt and Jenna, to the point where if you didn’t know he was married, they could easily have been mistaken for a real-life couple.

So in some respects for me this is a “final” goodbye to Whouffaldi, Whouffle, and any of the other shipping names associated with these two, and to Doctor x Clara in general - the best pairing this show has seen since Tom Baker and Lis Sladen were in the TARDIS, but only because as of tonight it becomes the Doctor and Bill (and Nardole) show. Which is as it has to be as this is Doctor Who, where even the lead actor is only around for a few years. But of course it won’t be the end. Just as Steven Moffat couldn’t let River Song rest in peace (with the repeated references to her sounding more and more forced as we go along), I have no intention of letting Doctor/Clara fade away. Even as I watch and hopefully enjoy the Bill Potts era, I still hope to find more things to write about here on Tumblr about Twelve and Clara, and I have no less than a dozen Whouffaldi fanfic stories in some form of progress for eventual uploading to AO3. And I know the fan artists, the gifset makers, and others will continue to find new ways to commemorate this pairing. Whouffle/Whouffaldi is going nowhere.

And who knows, maybe sometime in the next 12 weeks - or 8 months from now as the Christmas special approaches - we’ll be pleasantly surprised. I mean, after all, John Simm, a well-known actor, apparently managed to film his return as the Master without anyone knowing about it, right? 

[bartsugsy]

The Robron Break-Ups : A Definitive Guide (Part 2/Infinity)

*** UPDATED BECAUSE I LEGITIMATELY ALREADY MANAGED TO MISS ONE. I AM A HUMAN DISASTER. SO. NOW IT’S ACCURATE. YAY. ***

Part One / All

In this, the second part of the Robron Rejection Compendium, we look at the next 5 break-ups, even more honourable mentions and I start to cry about feelings, just a little bit. Go get yourself a cup of tea and settle in, because this part is way longer than it has any right to be.

(Also, to throw in a quick serious moment before i start cracking manslaughter jokes again, thank you so much for your kind comments and tags and likes etc for part one. I was kind of completely overwhelmed by the fact that people even took time to read it, because I wrote it half giggling to myself at how no one would be able to make it to the end of the thing. So, yes. I mean this with every bloody ounce of sincerity I have in my entire body - thank you so much for taking the time to read it. You all kind of made my evening.)

Anyway, on to Part Two and an honourable mention to kick things off…

Part Two: Pre-Manslaughter (continued)

Honourable Mention #2: 9th December 2014

The next honourable mention isn’t even slightly a break up - the opposite of one, actually, but this is my post and I’ll do as I please. This scene features Rob, strolling into the Woolie back room like he owns the place and confronting Aaron about the money Aaron is charging Chrissie for Robert’s car (mostly because he’s panicking about the fact that he’s somehow managed to start up an entire bloody affair with Aaron in the space of four days). The boys spend the whole scene arguing and Aaron is doing his absolute level best to wind Robert up and it’s working, but they’re also literally talking about how they’re absolutely without a doubt going to keep hooking up? This scene is just really underrated, basically, so I’m just casually dropping it in here. 

Besides, it would absolutely sound like it would qualify, given how dismissive and rude they are to one another, if not for the fact that, I repeat, this whole snippy, agressive conversation exists for them to talk about the fact that they’ve just had some pretty spectacular angry sex and agree that it’s definitely going to happen again.

6. 15th December 2014

At number 6, we have Robert and Aaron, hanging around awkwardly in Bar West. Robert is upset about Andy melting Jack’s wedding ring - and also, it turns out, deeply uncomfortable about being in a gay bar. Aaron is unsympathetic, Robert is generally horrible and they argue - it gets vicious, and it feels like a big bright sign warning of the horrors to come. It all ends when Robert tells Aaron to ~have fun with his friends~ and flounces off. Rob goes home and makes some more terrible decisions about Katie and Andy’s rings. Exactly no one is surprised.

How long did it last? I mean, they don’t share a proper scene for two whole days but let’s be honest, they were probably already thinking about boning again by that evening.

Who came crawling back first? Robert tracks down Ross and Aaron two days later to warn them about Chrissie calling the police and Robert touches Aaron’s chest and Aaron looks down at Robert’s hand and my heart goes all googly and squiggly and this is basically what boy sex is, isn’t it? idk I am just a poor lesbian

How little did they mean it? 3/5. Both angry, but have no intention of stopping, because hate sex is fun and early robron are all about the hate sex. (Or at least highly annoyed at one another sex)

7. 23rd December 2014

Aaron’s been hiding out in Brighton for a few days. He rocks back up into the village and he and Adam jump right into planning a new business over a pint. Robert (eavesdropping, because he literally wants to be up in Aaron’s business at all times 24/7 by this point) helpfully decides to invest, because what’s a spare 10k between illicit lovers? Aaron goes up to the bar to order another drink and Robert tries to charm Aaron into also buying him one, in his overdone, smarmy way, before immediately taking it all back and offering to buy Aaron a pint instead. Robert uses his soft, intimate, ‘Aaron’ voice and it’s just great. Aaron does not think it’s quite as charming as I apparently do and tells Robert that he doesn’t want anything from him. Again. You’ll hear that phrase a lot as we journey through this relationship together, dear reader. A lot. It’s always a lie.

How long did it last? Two days. This was a big one. Hoo boy. Two entire days.

Who came crawling back first? Robert basically disregards what Aaron says immediately because two seconds later, he’s talking to Adam about investing in their as-yet-to-be-decided business. Adam mentions this to Aaron, who seems very wary and just generally Not About It. Two days later (Christmas Day, time for giving, time for family, etc.), Aaron has another pop at Robert, after listening to Vic cry over Rob’s fight with Andy the night before. Something Aaron says clearly strikes a chord with Robert, because he goes back to his family and apologises, talks candidly about his feelings and about Jack. Robert says “you had [Jack] more than I did in the end” to Andy and I CRY LIKE THE SAD AND EMOTIONAL HUMAN I AM, because I have Robert Sugden feelings and also because millie keeps posting jack/robert headcanons and they’ve all ruined me.

Aaron is, handily, on hand (…I’m leaving that phrase in, leave me alone) to overhear Robert acting like a good and well-intentioned human being for the first time in… a while, probably. Of course, Robert’s terrible past decisions come back to bite him anyway and everything gets screwed up with Andy. Again.

Aaron, however, has already been won over by the fact that Rob didn’t just listen to him, but actually followed through and made an effort with his family. Aaron’s is all happy and impressed and they have THAT CONVERSATION IN THE SUITS WITH THE SWAYING AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL AND THEN THEY RUN OFF TO THE PUB TO MAKE SWEET SWEET LOVE and then get immediately interrupted by Katie because god hates joy, but not before having an A+ kiss.

Anyway, at some point during this day, Aaron accidentally goes from hating Robert to falling hopelessly in love with Robert and that’s pretty much it for Aaron. He just.. he falls in love with Robert and never looks back.

Robert also starts to fall in love with Aaron probably (but I’m not quite sure he realises, or recognises it, and if he does he is very afraid of it, because, again, he’s still deeply closeted. He’s still set on marrying Chrissie and living out all his rich and powerful fantasies). Rob is still very difficult to read, so we may never know for sure.

Anyway, there are probably mutual feelings involved, because they keep smiling at one another and it’s lovely and I’m crying softly just watching it. Just look at their love. Their beautiful, non-murdery love. Ah, some things never last.

How little did they mean it? 4/5. Aaron meant this break up. Robert found himself so eager to get back into Aaron’s good books that he started throwing money at him again (still hasn’t learnt) and then, in a beautiful turn of events, decided to instead to actually listen to him and lo, we are treated to the first instance of Aaron helping Robert better himself and I get emotional all over again because HE’S A REAL BOY NOW.

Honourable Mention #3: 1st January 2015

Aaron and Robert start hooking up in their barn and Rob invests his spare 10k purely as an excuse to see Aaron’s face on the reg. They have little flirty meetings in the coffee shop and all in all, it’s a nice little break from the drama. No arguments, no break ups. Just barn sex and lying to everyone. It’s wonderful.

Of course, this happiness does not last very long, because it’s a soap. Real life interupts and Robert is forced to stand Aaron up on New Year’s Eve (and ends up half moping around all evening because he knows he could be off at the pub getting laid, instead of schmoozing rich people) (can you believe Robert would rather be with Aaron than rich people? It’s love) and Aaron, who absolutely hates to seem soft and needy, but can be so soft and so needy sometimes (and I mean this in the gentlest way), especially when it comes to Robert, is sort of pissed. 

When Robert tries to cancel another plan, Aaron basically tells him that he either shows up at the barn for sex, or they’re done. Now, I don’t know how much I believe that threat personally, because I’ve written 4000 words so far on how much they suck at staying away from one another, but Robert seems to believe it, and, without even pausing to think things through, makes the decision to meet up with his secret boyfriend rather than babysit with his soon-to-be-Step Son, Lachlan.

Anyway, Aaron and Robert meet up, argue, have sex and it’s just generally A+++++

What do you mean this doesn’t count as a break up? Pfft you write it.

(…ok fine it’s not a break-up, but they do talk about ending things after Robert gets married, so it counts. Not to be spoilery, but that works out about as well as we’ve all probably come to expect from these two. Not even murder can keep them apart.)

Oh and stuff happens with Lachlan blah blah

ETA: THERE IS A BREAK UP THAT I OH-SO CASUALLY MISSED (it happened during the ‘Lachlan blah blah’ part of the episode), so here we have it - a hastily made edit for you all, because I am a big, strong, adult person and I can totally own up to my mistakes.* 

(*a bald-faced lie)

8. 1st January 2015

Lachlan’s in hospital and Robert is in some deep shit with Chrissie and Lawrence - mostly because he’s nowhere to be seen. On the other side of the village, Aaron and Robert are finishing up their literal tumble in the hay when Aaron casually asks Rob out for a pint. Robert chooses this exact moment to check his messages, sees what has happened and runs off to the hospital in a panic without even stopping to give Aaron an explanation.

While Rob is at the hospital being yelled at, Aaron goes to the pub by himself to mope. Rob shows up (having been kicked out of the hospital by Chrissie) and gets yelled at again, this time by Zak, who is worried about Belle. As Zak yells and Robert tries to defend the fact that he was too busy boning his secret boyfriend to babysit, Aaron quickly realises what exactly has happened. He and Robert meet in their favorite spot, the Woolie loos and Aaron tries to offer a sympathetic ear. Rob unfortunately has had just about enough and takes his frustrations and panic out on Aaron. They start to argue and Robert says that “whatever this is between us” (it’s love) is over. Surprising to zero people at this point, this turns out to not be true.

How long did it last? This is a pretty long one, as it happens. It lasts about a week. AN ENTIRE WEEK.

Who came crawling back first? It’s Robert, of course it’s Robert. The very next day, he goes to the pub and tries to get Aaron alone to talk about ~his investment~. It’s as if the words “we’re over” have literally no value when they’re coming out of Robert’s mouth and directed at Aaron, or something. Ah Robert, the world’s biggest drama queen. 

Aaron really isn’t having it, however. In fact, after Lachlan and Belle almost become the first (but absolutely not the last) casualty of Aaron and Robert’s affair, Aaron remembers that Robert Sugden’s numero uno priority is still Robert Sugden (don’t worry kids, that will change). Anyway, Aaron is getting freaked out - but then, it’s been a month since they’ve kissed and they’ve already started an entire actual Honest To God Affair, managed to break up 8 times and now they’ve almost killed a child. So. No bloody wonder.

(There is a small moment on the 2nd January between Aaron and Chas, as they talk about her unease at Robert’s suspiciously big investment - because of course, Chas doesn’t yet realise that Rob is actually basically investing that money in his Little Rob. Chas mentions to Aaron that Robert seems committed to investing in the business, like he’s Aarons “guardian angel” or something. Aaron gets this little interested look on his face and I have sudden and visceral flashforwards to the multiple times Robert will actually and actively save Aaron’s life in the next few years, and I cry.)

Anyway, Robert goes to find Aaron at work a few days later and tells him that Lachlan’s going to be ok. Rob looks all happy and keen to get it back on, but instead, he gets another earful from Aaron, who quite rightly assumes that Robert cares more about protecting his own secrets than he does Lachlan’s life.

Robert then decides to send the infamous “kiss and make up” text that ends up basically killing Katie. Imagine. Death by smarmy text. What a piss-take.

How little did they mean it? 1/5. Robert came crawling back the very next day and Aaron literally buckled after a stupid text. Like. From all appearances, they basically did kiss and make-up. We don’t even see them make up, they just share a Look as they walk past each other in the pub (but boy howdy, is it ever a good Look) and in that instant, we can all tell that they clearly just jumped straight back into it. Words have lost nearly all meaning at this point. They just like the drama.

9. 7th January 2015

Katie’s been gossiping about the “kiss and make up” text and Aaron drags Robert in to the Woolie back room to warn him. Robert, as is his wont, panics and sort of… calls the whole thing off… for now. Maybe Robert has finally learnt that there’s no point in trying to stop their relationship completely?

Either way, Aaron’s not happy about this sudden stop to their sexy times and as Rob walks out the door, he gets that sad/angry look on his face and I sort of just want to hug him because son, you are in way too deep considering how tragically closeted and technically unavailable Robert is.

On the other hand, hindsight is beautiful thing and it’s all going to work out mostly fine for most people in the end. Sort of. Apart from all the deaths. Oh well, it’s 2017 now, who cares. You keep being helplessly in love Aaron. I’m into it.

How long did it last? This ‘we’re strangers, we’re not meeting up and we’re absolutely not boning’ thing lasts exactly two days. Barely that, to be honest, because despite what Robert says, he still ends up having a conversation with Aaron about their affair in plain daylight, in public, the very next day. But hey. Whatever.

Who came crawling back first? Aaron tries to talk Robert round the next day and inadvertently gives Robert the idea for an Evil Plan, which Robert quickly puts into play so that they can get back to “business as usual” (as they agree while standing in the bathroom, while I cry over their sizzlin’ chemistry) (how can two people have that much sexual chemistry while standing in front of a toilet?)

How little did they mean it? 3/5. I mean, Robert meant it, but he also did everything he could to make sure that it would only last as long as he could go without (i.e. two days)

Honourable Mention #4: 12th January 2015

Aaron and Robert are back at it - or they would be, if not for the fact that Cain is basically dying and so Aaron’s all sad and distracted. Rob, in an effort to cheer Aaron up (because he cares and he has human feelings and he wants Aaron to be less sad and he cares), makes Aaron a cup of tea and calms his nerves and then, when that doesn’t work, grabs him and hugs him. Aaron’s confused and overwhelmed face is an exact mirror of my own every time I watch this beautiful scene. Is this really our panto villain Robert Sugden?

….this is obviously an honourable mention because before this scene, Rob tries to get Aaron to come up to the barn for a quickie and Aaron turns him down. So. Totally counts.

Honourable Mention #5: 13th January 2015

Aaron tries to back out of the business, because he’s panicking about letting Robert down and potentially losing him. Robert is all sweet and comforting and says to Aaron, and I quote, “Don’t get cold feet. You’ll make me think I fell for a quitter.” and Aaron looks so bloody astounded that I struggle to breathe. Then, if all of this wasn’t enough to send me to A&E, Robert smiles and says “Good meeting” and literally everyone has to take a moment to collect themselves because what. the. hell. is. this. SORRY IT’S BEEN OVER TWO YEARS AND I STILL CAN’T COPE WITH THIS SCENE. It’s just… it’s amazing. They’re gonna love each other forever.

..WHAT DO YOU MEAN STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CUTE SCENES YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT THE CUTE SCENES DID YOU THINK I JUST WOULDN’T MENTION THIS SCENE WHO DO YOU THINK I AM YES THIS COUNTS BECAUSE AARON TRIED TO PULL OUT OF THE BUSINESS IT COUNTS leave me alone I’m just a human

10. 30th January 2015

Aaron and Robert are just about as happy as two people can be whilst sneaking around behind everybody’s backs (hint: so happy, so loved-up, just utterly enjoying one another’s company, plus no one’s died yet… honestly, everything is hum diddly). Aaron and Adam have a new portacabin, which Robert comes to check out (oh wait, no, why would he check out a portacabin when he could be checking out Aaron). Robert books a hotel room with a late check-out and then crawls around the bed in his underwear. It’s all just great.

Amidst this happiness, Aaron is intermittently reminded, however, that Robert is actually still very much with Chrissie, so we get to watch Aaron lurk moodily around the background feeling sad and jealous and honestly, suddenly the Aaron in more recent episodes starts to feel so much more familiar… Poor love.

Anyway, the boys are preoccupied with their own dramas for a bit (Aaron’s dealing with the scrapyard and Eric. Robert is dealing with the fact that apparently, in Emmerdale, watching porn is, in fact, the worst damn crime you can commit). They’re most likely meeting up for more barn sex while all this is going on, but hey. It’s not shown on screen. All we’ve got is our imaginations. Aaron pops up to tease Robert about the porn and they flirt in the coffee shop, Robert books another hotel and Aaron gets himself into a suit. It all ends in tears, though, as Katie and Chrissie arrive at the hotel, ruining Robert and Aaron’s hot night and thus, the calm before the real storm comes to a startling, abrupt end.

The next morning, Robert tracks Aaron down at the scrapyard to apologise. Aaron’s having none of it, knowing that Robert is getting married in a week and that they can’t carry on beyond that, but desperately wanting so much more (…clearly these boys haven’t been paying attention if they honestly think they can stop, but… we’re not getting into that just yet, we’ve got months of this ahead of us…)

Robert looks sad, Aaron is pissed off, threatens Robert with a broken nose and says “do one”. Rob rightly takes this as a cue to not follow Aaron into the portacabin. This gets Robert angry, so he goes off to confront Katie (because she ruined his dirty night away with Aaron with all of her completely correct assumptions and now Aaron doesn’t want to talk to him).

How long did it last? While Rob is busy distracting himself with a spot of casual arson, Aaron ends up sitting with Paddy, sad about Robert and beating himself up about letting himself get in so deep. He ends up sort of accidentally telling Paddy that he’s in love with Robert (well, he doesn’t use Rob’s name). Aaron, in this scene, essentially says that he’s incapable of just walking away from the affair, so it’s nice that at least one of them has some level of self-awareness. After a few days, Aaron comes to the decision that he’s going to let Robert stew.

Meaning this particular break up lasts more than 2 days.

In very loose terms, it lasts 5 days. 5 days of them playing games with each other, at the ultimate expense of Katie’s life and a bit of flooring. 

In more realistic terms, this is the end of their relationship as they know it - this is, in fact, the break up that starts off a series of dramatic, tragic and unapologetically soapy events that will define their entire relationship for the next year.

Who came crawling back first? Robert drops in to see Aaron 3 days after their argument, but Aaron’s still having none of it. Rob leaves, sad and hurt and without a secret boyfriend. The next day, they bump into one another at the cafe and make some eyes at each other. Robert tells Aaron to meet him at their barn, which Aaron doesn’t do, so instead we get a shot of Robert sitting alone in their barn in the dark and looking Drama Queen levels of tragic.

Rob is… well, he’s onto Aaron and feeling kind of bitter about the whole thing, so when they meet up in the woolie bathroom later that day, Robert explains to Aaron that he’s had this Big Amazing Epiphany™ and that actually Aaron meant nothing to him and… nobody believes you tbh Rob, but you do you. As with all of Robert’s impulsive, emotional decisions, this has terrible consequences and pushes Aaron into deciding to blow the whole affair to Katie.

Literally the next day, Aaron asks them to start things up again (so that he can #Expose Robert to Katie) and Robert goes along with it pretty much immediately, ready to not just start things back up again, but also continue them after Robert is married. Because Robert has also long since realiseed that he’s not ready to let Aaron go and he’s done with the game playing. 

How little did they mean it? 1/5. Yes, it lasted a while, but Aaron stayed away with the pure intention of somehow getting Robert to leave Chrissie, and Robert ended things to get back at Aaron for standing him up. And… ah. This emotional game playing does not work out for them. This absolutely does not work well for them.

…I mean, it does work, in the sense that they’re together now, in 2017, but… oh dear.

Next Up: The Real Dark Ages