#also Kimmy cos I wanted to show their smiles together

[desktopmermaid]

I wanted to draw how goldie started really getting into memorizing maps and routes. It was something she loved to study as a kid and now helps her in 777.

[wren-bishop]

Backyard - Devyn

@drunkcn

Devyn: devyn was already a few shots in before she even showed up to riley's place, having an aching feeling that she'd need to be somewhat buzzed. she made a b-line to the first person she spotted with a cup in their hand, snatching it from them and smiling. "this is just what i needed, how did you know?" she teased before taking a small sip.

Wren: Wren just let her take his cup, "I'm very good at what I do" said Wren pulling his flask out of his pocket and taking a sip so he wouldn't be without a drink. "How are you doing tonight? Have you seen Val anywhere?" he asked

Devyn: her eyes followed his hand as he pulled a flask from his pocket, smiling a bit wider once he started drinking from him. "you came prepared," she stated, clearly liking that fact. devyn shook her head, the corners of her lips turning under just a bit. "i've only been here five minutes, she's probably around here somewhere... probably making out with memphis somewhere."

Wren: "Nana says to always bring a flask" said Wren closing it back up. Wren did his best to stay calm on the outside, "Haha devyn, so funny" Wren replied, "She won't makeout with Memphis until way later in the party" he joked. Why did people keep trying to warn him about the two of them? Was there a good reason?

Devyn: "i like nana, she's a smart lady." she nodded her head, matter-of-factly. her expression fell, her eyebrows joining together in the middle. "who says i'm joking? didn't you hear about memphis cheating on kimmy with valerie? i mean, i know it's old news but the two of them clearly like each other." that was as much as she knew about the blonde's relationships, she was completely unaware that she was actually dating wren. "why do you wanna know where she is anyways, you got a thing for her?"

Wren: "I mean yeah I was around for that, but it was just about breaking them up it wasn't like a .. they like each other thing" said Wren with a shrug opening his flask back up and taking a sip. "We're dating" Wren added, realizing that Devyn just didn't know, made more sense why she was talking about Valerie and Memphis like that. He was still a little more nervous than when the night had started, and he didn't like that he hadn't seen her yet and that they hadn't come together at all.

Devyn: she inhaled deeply, eyes widening when she was informed of his relationship status to the girl in question. then her cheeks started to go red but she tried to hide her embarrassment by taking another sip from the cup she stole from him. "i didn't know that." she spoke into the glass before the liquid touched her lips. "that's a shame... i'm sure she's probably not with memphis. he's probably not even here, i don't think he even knows riley." devyn tried to backtrack, thinking it'd give wren a bit of peace of mind. "have you tried texting her?"

Wren: Wren smiled a little when the girl started to get red, "It's cool, Valerie's a very casual person" Wren replied. "Yeah, I just don't want to text her a bunch and seem like a loser" he added. He'd been working on keeping things restrained so he wouldn't come off as desperate towards Valerie, he was just so excited that someone actually liked him for once. He didn't know if he'd ever get that again, so he had to move smart about it.

Devyn: devyn rolled her eyes, reaching out to him to pat his arm reassuringly. "not texting your girlfriend would make you a loser, not texting her too much. my boyfriend never texts me, he's the biggest loser i know. if valerie thinks you're a loser for texting too much, then she's dumb and doesn't deserve you as her boyfriend."  it was something so silly to worry about but it also made dev sort of jealous, wanting that from her own boyfriend. "i'd send her a text to let her know where you are so she can find you, cos maybe she's around looking for you."

Wren: "I just don't want to like triple text her" explained Wren, "I text her a lot to begin with" he added. He kind of felt sorry for Devyn, he felt ignored by Valerie a lot too, "I'm sorry your boyfriends not blowing up your phone all the time, ask Val it gets annoying" Wren said with a shrug, "Yeah, maybe. I hope so." said Wren, when he was with Valerie everything was great, it was the in between times that were hard.

Devyn: her nose scrunched up as she shook her head, not wanting him to feel sorry for her for any reason. she didn't like when people took pity on her. "don't be sorry, he's not really the one i want blowing up my phone anyways." she didn't mean to say that, at least not the past part. and when she realized that the thought didn't actually stay in her head, she started laughing at herself , thinking it'd act as some sort of distraction. "anyways, i'm totally down to keep you occupied until she shows up if you want."

Wren: Wren completely acknowledged what she said, but he laughed it off with her just to give her the benefit of the doubt. "Yeah that sounds fun, we should refill my drink that is now your drink, and get me one too" said Wren with a kind smile as he led them towards the drink table on the porch. He took her cup and refilled it with punch and filled up a cup for himself. "Hows cheer going with Kelsey and the whole pregnant thing?" he asked

Devyn: devyn followed along, walking in line with him until they got to the refreshments. when he brought up kelsey, she couldn't help but smile and then laugh. "oh my god, this pregnancy is honestly the greatest thing. coach has basically benched her which probably means she won't be captain anymore chanel is basically next in line," at least in her opinion, "which i'm sort of on the fence about but she'd make a much better captain than kelsey does."

Wren: "I've heard a lot of different opinions" said Wren, "about the cheer captain thing" he clarified. "Don't you want to be captain?" he asked, considering everyone else he had talked to wanted to be captain.

Devyn: devyn didn't know people were actually talking about it, only because she didn't know if the coach was actually going to boot kelsey from the spot or not. she was just about to take a sip when she was asked if she wanted to be captain. instantly, she shook her head. "fuck that, no." she answered bluntly. "nobody on the team even really likes me, nobody would listen to me."

Wren: "I mean there's a big difference between being liked and being respected" Wren replied, "But I also get not wanting to be captain. I'll be happy whoever it is, like whichever of my friends gets it. I don't really have a huge problem with anyone on the team, but I know you guys have a lot of problems with each other ... from what I've been told" Wren continued, shutting himself up to take a long sip of his drink.

Devyn: she tilted her head to the side as she shrugged her shoulders. "well, yeah... she hates me for no reason. she tried to force me into a truce with her and threatened to tell people who my real dad is if i didn't agree." she sort of had loose lips when she drank, that was supposed to be a secret. devyn slowly looked at him, her expression mimicking shock at what she'd just told him. "can we pretend i didn't just say that?"

Wren: Wren was kind of shocked when Devyn let that one slide, "Yeah we can definitely pretend that you didn't just say that" said Wren taking a big gulp of his drink, "Don't worry I'm good with secrets" he replied. He put up his glass to hers, "Cheers?" he said trying to move their conversation past this.

Devyn: she stared at him for a moment, trying to decide whether or not she wanted to give him some sort of explanation but really, she didn't even know a whole lot of details. she knew just what happened and the name of her biological father. "thanks," devyn flashed him an awkward smile before taking a large gulp from her cup. "what are we cheering for?"

Wren: "For keeping secrets, and for not making me choose who I support for captain ... because I don't want to have to pick" said Wren, he liked Devyn a lot, she was really sweet. He'd heard a lot of stuff, but she was probably just confused between the two guys, and she was clearly hurting on a lot of fronts.

[zoebechtle-blog]

Unlikely Chapter 10

I took Basil’s words to heart and thought intensely about how dating Niall would affect my life. I spent an evening searching online for girls he and his bandmates had dated - the reactions were daunting at best. Their lives were definitely thought to be public property, and everyone seemed to have an opinion. The women they were involved with were harassed and torn apart for every single move they made.  Rumors ranged from the absurd to downright cruel. It was suggested that a pregnancy was faked, that members were being closeted, and various girls had used members to further their own agendas for fame. It was frightening to say the least. And if I had an ounce of common sense and self-preservation, I would have sprinted off in the other direction (instead of one direction - snort). But I didn’t. I had to learn my lessons the hard way.

I stayed at Niall’s house a few more times over the next few weeks, and he at mine. He loved when I cooked for him courtesy of the recipe book Grandma B had made me when I moved away to school (he did inform me that his trainer, however, would hate me). I caught myself stocking up on Stella and his favorite snack, hummus and carrots. He replaced his regular sized bottles of bumble & bumble shampoo and conditioner with the economy sized ones, and I found a new flat iron and my favorite face wash on the counter in his bathroom. He’d even gone as far as stashing an emergency Cadbury bar in the house at all times, having survived the aftermath of me having a chocolate craving with nothing handy. We laid in bed at night telling each other stories, giggling or sometimes crying. Mornings after we spent the night together I'd wake up to him cuddled around me. He had no problem showing affection, if anything, he was handsy as hell. When he went out of town for a week and a half at the Masters and then a vacation, I genuinely missed him. So much. And that scared me more than anything.   

One night shortly after he’d returned from The Masters, he showed up at my door with a delivery guy and two flat screen TVs. The shocked look on my face only lasted a second, then immediately turned into a glare.  “Can I help you, Horan?”  I spread my arms across the door frame, blocking his entrance.  He and his lackey weren’t coming in unless I got a goddamn explanation.

“It’s a gift, Z!” he pleaded. I narrowed my eyes in response.  He pouted his plump little lips at me and shot me the most pathetic puppy dog eyes I’d ever seen.  I grabbed the collar of his light cotton henley and yanked him through the door.  “You - inside. You two wait here.”  Niall shot me a look and I rolled my eyes, huffing out a “please” to the stunned delivery men in my hallway.

Niall toed at the carpet inside my door, sheepishly glancing up at me as I paced in front of him.  “What the hell Niall?  A). I don’t want you spending money on me, and B). shouldn’t a gift be something I want and/or I would use? I don’t need a tv, let alone two of them! I don’t even have cable or anything to watch on the TV!” I threw my hands up in the air in exasperation. “You're being fucking ridiculous!”

“Yeah, about that…” He tried to look innocent and gave me a smile.

I froze and stared at him, slack-jawed and pissed.  “Seriously? You got cable for my flat?! I don’t watch TV! Netflix is all I need.”  

Niall reached out and took my hands in his mitt-sized palms and softly stroked across my knuckles.  “I can’t watch golf or footie on Netflix, petal.” Petal. I was quickly learning this was his nickname to pacify me. And it usually worked because honestly, how cute is that?

“You’re kidding me. So you want to come over here just to watch sports?”

He gave me a smarmy grin, “Gotta have something to watch while you’re sucking me off.”

I literally growled at him and pushed his shoulders while he laughed. “C’mon, I was waiting here for an hour the other night when ya got stuck behind that accident coming home. And I get bored when you take a shower.”

I crossed my arms with a pout, “You could always JOIN me in the shower.”

His shit eating grin lit up his face and his pure blue eyes glowed, “Sure, after I check the scores.”  He pressed a kiss to my cheek while I was frozen in place still pouting at his antics.  He flung the front door open and waved to the delivery men to come in.  “This way gentleman!  The lady will be keeping the TVs!”

The next Tuesday night I was surprised to hear the TV playing when I went to unlock my door. Niall hadn’t told me he was coming over. And yes, he had a key - it was just easier.

“Honey, I’m hooooome.” Rory McIlroy was being interviewed on the screen (Christ, I knew golfers by name now), so I knew he couldn’t be far away. He stuck his head out of the kitchen, and I jogged over to him, throwing my arms around his neck. When I leaned in for a kiss, I noticed his face was red and his hair looked like he’d been yanking it out by the roots. Also, he looked like he was going to throw up.

“Are you okay? Are you sick?” I backed away slowly. Being sick was not on my agenda for this week, and I really didn’t want to take care of someone with the man flu. I could only imagine how whiny Niall would be.

“No. Just gotta talk to ya about something.” The thumbnail went into his mouth, and I felt my stomach drop. He hadn’t seemed this wrecked about something since he told me about the girl in LA. Oh Christ. He’d been in the States and the Bahamas a few weeks ago. Had he done something stupid? I looked around for the nearest blunt object in case I needed to hit him.

“The Daily Mail has pics they’re going to publish tomorrow…” My stomach dropped instantly.

“Pics of WHOM, NIALL?!” My voice edged up up a notch, and was very loud. My hands had turned into little blocks of ice, and I could feel my cheeks on fire. Now I was going to be the one to throw up. All of my physical anxiety symptoms in less than ten seconds. A new record.

He rubbed his hand over his face and pulled roughly at his hair.  “Us. At quiz night last week. You sitting on my lap when Paul was cleaning up the spilled pint, a couple of us kiss-” I instantly relaxed my shoulders and let out a breath.  Niall registered my reaction and it dawned on him why I was so worked up.  “Jesus Christ, Zoe, did you think I was going to tell you they were pics of me and another girl?!”

I slid down and sat on the floor of my kitchen because my legs felt like jello. They were pics of us, doing normal couple stuff. That I could handle. Niall squatted in front of me, picking up my chin.

“Did ya really think I was going to tell you they were pics of me with someone else? Z, no baby. I told you that.” The hurt expression on his face almost broke my heart. I couldn’t lie to him, so I shrugged.

“I don’t know. I just walked in and you were freaking out, and said pictures, and, I don’t know. I’m sorry. I just spazzed. The last time I saw you like this you told me about the girl in LA. I don’t remember anyone taking pictures of us.” Tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill down my cheeks at any moment.  I hated the broken look on his face. I leaned up to stroke his cheek. “You shouldn’t bend like that, it’s bad for your knee.

“Yeah, usually you don’t know they’re being taken,” he moved into a sitting position across from me so our legs were touching. “I’d like to bitch slap the person that invented a fucking camera on a phone.” I let him pull me closer into a comforting hug.

Then I heard my toilet flush and I jumped a foot. “What the fuck?”

“Oh, Christ. Yeah. Bas is here. We need to figure out what’s going on. Kimmy is on her way, too.” Alright, Basil just shit in my bathroom, which hadn’t been cleaned since last year, and Niall’s manager whom I’ve never met was on her way to my house. Ace.

By the time Kimmy (who was bloody adorable) arrived, Bas, Niall, and I were all two drinks into the night. Niall had called to order us Thai, but my stomach was in no shape to eat. “Got ya some coconut soup - think that’ll stay down?” He whispered in my ear, obviously having heard me wretch in the bathroom. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he played with my hair, chatting with Bas about golf, and gnawing on his hand. I knew it was going to be a clusterfuck, but honestly, seeing him tear himself apart was worse. I grabbed his hand out of his mouth and kissed it.

Once the food arrived, everyone tucked in but me. These people obviously weren’t blessed with the nervous stomach gene.

“Okay, so what do we do? There’s no way to stop them, is there?” I started off.

“Short of an injunction, no.” Kim looked at me over her noodles. “And injunctions are saved for big shit, like the time the Daily Star alluded to Niall having a crack problem.”

“It was meth, not crack,” he corrected.

I raised an eyebrow at her, and turned to the boy on my left. “Junkie.”

“This kind of thing is probably best if we don’t respond. We’ve made it a point to not comment on Niall’s personal relationships in the past. It worked when Greg caused a fuss, and with all the Selena rumors.” I nodded at Kim, and Niall squeezed my hand.

Bas leaned forward. “Zoe, it’s going to be like I told you before. The stuff being said about you won’t be nice. And your entire life is going to be on Twitter within an hour. You’d probably do best to stay offline the next few days. And take a few vacation days from work.” I could feel Niall tense next to me.

“No, I can’t do that.” All eyes turned to me. “I mean, yeah, I’ll stay offline. But I can’t take random days off with no notice. It’ll leave everyone in a lurch. My kids don’t handle change well. Me not being there will fuck everything up.”

“I understand, but I don’t thi-”

“Bas, she said no.” Niall’s voice was harsh. “See if we can get someone to drive her to and from.”

“Not necessary. I don’t need a damn driver.”

“Z, we’ve been through this, babe. Let me do this.” Niall looked annoyed and tired, and almost pleading. I nodded. I can play nice.

Basil tried again, “I’d feel better if you stayed at the house at least the next couple of nights. It minimizes your exposure.”

“Okay. But only if he,” pointing to Niall, “agrees to make me breakfast.” No one really laughed at my obvious attempt of a joke. Lame.

“About your social media, then.”

“I deleted Facebook and Twitter after we talked.” Niall looked at me with wide eyes. Obviously he hadn’t noticed my missing tweets. “Instagram is only people I know personally. And I removed anything that could be considered risque. I’ve only used SnapChat a handful of times. There’s LinkedIn, but that’s basic shit.” I’d spent one evening last week trying to clean up my digital footprint. I’m sure I did a horrible job, but at least basic info seekers were taken care of.

Basil nodded at me. Dare I say he looked a little appreciative? “You might want to let your family know this is coming. They very likely will get calls. And your close friends.”

“Okay.” Now to wait for my life to explode.

I said goodbye to Kimmy, and went into my room to pack for a few days at Casa del Horan. As I was trying to decide what shoes to take, I sent a group text to my crew. Niall laid across the bed, watching.

“FYI, pics of N and I are being published trmw.”

“If ppl come calling, please only use your best insults.”

“(Also, fuck me. Everyone is freaking out and I don’t know what to do.)”

Hannah offered to fight anyone that messed with me. Carly had her back. The most helpful advice, as always, was from Paul. “You’re going to become internet hated!”

     I laid down next to Ni, tucking my face into his neck. “Is this really going to be that big of a shit show? Fans seem to like you a lot and you've never had a lot of drama.”

     “Been checking up on me, yeah? No, not much drama. We don't have a lot to base off of-I've only publicly dated a few girls.”

I tried to explain to my mom what was going on. She knew I had a boyfriend and that he was a singer, but she had no idea who he was or his popular culture standing. Her knowledge of music ended in 1984. She’d spoken to him on the phone once when he answered for me as I tried to unlock the door, and couldn’t understand anything he said because of his accent. She could not grasp that it was a big deal that pictures of him with me would cause an uproar. Finally, I gave up and just asked her not to speak to anyone about me, and to tell my dad and brother the same. They were definitely the liabilities.

Bas drove us back to Niall’s where I ended up watching Anchorman for the eighth time with Willie and Deo while catching up on some paperwork (that had been my plan for the evening until picturegate blew up). The boys were obviously aware of what was going on-Deo had bought me Ben and Jerry’s and Willie produced a bottle of wine. Niall wandered in and out of the room on the phone, pulling his hair and raising his voice. His normally animated face was in a scowl so deep that I feared it would be permanent. However the more I got used to the idea of the pictures, the less I found myself caring. If this was going to be real, then eventually we were going to be spotted. It wasn’t my style to live my life in the shadows, and I loved Niall (a fact I still hadn’t actually worked up the ovaries to tell him). People were going to have something to say - I knew that the second I looked up Louis’ girlfriend. But my skin was fairly thick. I’d spent 20 years hating myself, and the past few trying to reverse all those negative emotions. It would take a lot more than nasty people on the internet to drag me back down. Also, I basically had majored in avoidance of real life issues.

I ended up falling asleep alone in Niall’s gigantic bed. I’d gone in for some quiet after the movie and conked out. When I woke up around midnight to use the bathroom, I could hear him talking to his cousins in the living room. I padded down the hallway to try and convince Niall to come to bed, but stopped just as I was about to step into the living room. He sounded wrecked and absolutely unlike himself. Their voices were low enough that I knew instantly they were having an important conversation.  So, like any self-respecting anxiety-prone adult, I eavesdropped.

“There’s no going back after this, ya know?  It’s never gonna be the same.  She things she’s prepared, but…”  He let out a groan and I could hear his body flop back against the couch cushions.  Willie took a deep breath and tried to reassure him.  I knew Willie had my back, but my heart still warmed as he spoke.  “Niall, you’ve gotta trust her a little, son.  Zoe’s tough as nails when she needs to be.  Give her some credit yeah?  She forgave your dumb ass for runnin’ off to the coast and getting your dick wet, I think she can handle some jealous teen girls on the internet.”  I choked down a laugh, making a mental note that I owed Willie a pint or three. Niall let out a deep sigh and I strained closer to hear him clearly.

“Mate, I’m serious.  What the fuck am I gonna do if she runs? I love her, Will. Been in love with her since the night she wore my hat.”

I covered my mouth. We barely knew one another then. Well, he knew way more about me than I did about him. My heart shattered as I realized he didn’t get how strongly I felt about him. Talking about my feelings wasn’t exactly my strong suit, but I clearly I needed to get my head out of my ass and quick. I retreated silently back to his room and crawled under the covers, my mind reeling from the emotional toll of the evening. When Niall finally came to bed, I curled up next to him, silently trying to relay my emotions through my fingertips and onto his skin.  I traced the dark stubble across his jaw, pressing gently into the dimple in his chin.  He squeezed my hip, pulling my body towards him while I continued trailing my hands down his neck and arm.  Drawing in a shaky breath I whispered softly, “It’s going to be ok Ni. We’re going to be ok.”  I felt his body sink into the mattress with relief and without another word he rolled me onto my back and pressed himself along the length of my body. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and we held each other, sharing soft touches and gentle kisses. Propping himself up on his elbows he rested his forehead against mine. “I need ya, Z.” I pressed my lips to his instantly, murmuring a “yes” into his mouth.

We made love slowly, purposefully. I could see in his eyes that there were a million and one things he wanted to tell me, but couldn’t. He was trying to confess his feelings to me the only way he knew how. As his thrusts became less precise I could feel myself getting closer to the edge of my release. When I finally came, I called out his name, but it might as well have been a declaration of love the way my heart nearly burst with emotion. As I watched him come undone above me, his face illuminated by the moonlight peeking through the blinds, I knew he was it. He was my forever.

The emotion was still heavy in his room as we recovered from our tryst so I took the opportunity to bring us back to normal by acting like a complete jackass.

“Ni?”

“Yeah, babe.” I was lying on his chest with a leg thrown over his thighs, nuzzling his chest.

“Promise me something?” He tensed a bit, and kissed my forehead.

“Anything.”

“Will you always look at me like I’m the prettiest girl at the party? Sort of like it’s 2014 and I’m Harry Styles?”

There was a beat of complete silence before he looked over at me and rolled his eyes.  “Jesus.  Fucking.  Christ.”  He scoffed and pushed my pillow over my face as I dissolved into giggles. “I’m going to block YouTube on your phone, ya nutter.”

True to my promise to Bas, I did not get online Wednesday or Thursday other than work email. Of course, people found their way into my official inbox, and I had to talk to our IT department about setting up blocks. The subject lines alone were almost amusing in their vitriol, “Fat Cunt Leave Niall Alone!” “Skank” and my personal favorite, “Niall Wouldn’t Suck Your Dick”. Someone needed an anatomy lesson. There were a few photographers outside of the clinic, and Phil, a security guard assigned to Zoe detail (I asked for a cool nickname like the Secret Service use and he shook his head at me) took me out of the backdoor. It could have been better, but it could have sucked more.

I insisted on going to quiz night. This was my routine and my life, and by God, no one was going to stop me. Niall and Bas probably wanted to murder me, but for the most part I’d gone along with their wishes, so they could stand to cut me some slack. I tried hard to ignore all the new faces at the pub, having a feeling they were there just for me. Niall was already there, chatting with Paul and Deo when I arrived. He looked relieved, and I gave him a huge smile. Might as well give the people what they’re asking for, I thought, as I kissed him hello. And gave him an ass grab.

“Thirsty, hmmm?” He murmured in my ear. PDA wasn’t usually my thing, but there’s always an exception to the rule.

“A little,” I conceded. “Waking up next to you in the morning starts my day off on a very different foot than I’m accustomed to.” He smiled against my cheek. I turned to head to the bathroom confident in my feminine charms. Then I ran into the front of Basil, who was carrying three pints to the table. Well, make that two pints since one was dripping down the front of my shirt. Son of a bitch. Niall’s laugh echoed through the bar.

When I returned to the table, several rounds with the hand dryer later, Niall was shoving his phone back into his pocket, and had a smirk on his face that I didn’t trust.

“So help me, you’d best not be ready to make fun of the fact that I reek of yeast and hops.”

“Not at all, petal. Not at all.” That fucking smile. He was up to something. It was one of the first genuine smiles I’d seen from him in two days, though, so I’d let it be. Then I noticed that Paul looked terrified. And Hannah was shaking her head. Curious, I quirked an eyebrow at her.

“Don’t look at me. I just walked in, I had nothing to do with it.”

“With what?” I whipped my head to Niall and Paul, and caught Deo trying to hold in a laugh. “What did you do?”

“Please don’t hit me, Z,” Paul begged. Well that pretty much cemented the fact that I was going to want to.

“What.did.you.do.? Paul Anthony Byers, you’d best come clean right now! And remember,” I gestured to a laughing Bas, “I have security now!” I was terrified. And Niall was giggling next to me.

“I didn’t know he didn’t know!” Paul was pleading.

“C’mon, Z. Don’t be so CUMBERsome,” Deo spit out.

“Baby, do you want eggs BENEDICT in the morning?” Niall was officially slapping his knee he was laughing so hard.

I turned to Paul with bugged eyes. “Oh my fucking God, YOU TOLD HIM?” My voice was just shy of screeching.

“He was commenting on how well you were taking his fans wanting to burn you in effigy! I just said it was because you had some firsthand experience with fangirl problems!” Paul tried to hide behind Han, who scooted away. I buried my scorching face on the table.

“So, Cumberbatch, huh?” Niall was cracking up in my ear.

“Shut up. He’s an exemplary actor.”

“So much so that you drove out to Cardiff to watch them film?” Niall had his face propped up on his hand and he was smirking at me wickedly.  It took every ounce of willpower I had not to slap that stupidly gorgeous smirk off his stupidly beautiful face.

Paul took my hesitation as an invitation to humiliate me further.  “On more than one occasion! And waited outside the stage door after a performance of Hamlet.” Paul was ever so helpful. I pointed my finger at him. I think he was confident about that fact that I hadn’t jumped over the table yet. And ever the ham, he realized that Niall was enjoying it, so he added, “The week he announced his engagement she was going to delete her Twitter. He clutched at his heart, and screwed up his face in an unbelievable shitty impression of me.  ‘Paulie, it just hurts too much!’”

There it was. My fangirl shame. I was a Cumberbitch. And my boyfriend, whose face had launched a thousand ships, found it hysterical.

“So I relate to your fans. Sue me,” I sniffed, crossing my arms across my chest.  I looked like a petulant toddler.  With boobs.

“Aw, petal, don’t be like that,” he wrapped his arms around me. “Just tell me you’re not into slash, okay?”

I would not confirm or deny. (Sherlock + Watson = 4eva)

[brokeandbeautiful]

Screw “Singles Awareness Day” – the coolest alternative Valentine’s Day holiday is definitely Galentine’s Day. It’s a day to celebrate the friendships you have with your BFFs and close pals, not to be confused with the Polish chicken dish, galentine. This is much cuter than that.

If this is your first Galentine’s Day, let me give you some background. On February 13, 2010 Leslie Knope introduced the world to Galentine’s Day, an alternative to the hetero-normative, greeting card holiday that may or may not start with a V.

Of course you can head to your local megastore to shop for your affordable Galentine’s Day gifts – but is that really in the spirit of Galentine’s Day?

The right thing to do is to hop onto your local Internet gal-hub, Etsy, and support your Galentines by supporting some creative gals. There are such good gifts on Etsy, and they’re unlike anything you could ever find in stores. Seriously! Try to find a sexy Jeff Goldblum mug in a Macy’s – it ain’t gonna happen. 

These gifts are all under $20 and will totally delight and surprise your favorite BFFs. If you’ve never Galentine’d, make this your first year!

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt Pins or Magnets by Raising Two Jays, $6.19-$8.25

For some reason, Galentine’s Day doesn’t feel complete without bringing a little bit of Kimmie Schmidt into the picture. After all, it’s one of the most girl-power-forward shows that we’ve seen! If you haven’t caught seasons one and two on Netflix, you need to get your pajamas on ASAP and marathon. It will change your life (and potentially your vocabulary and wardrobe).

Ian Malcom/Jeff Goldblum Mug by Memeskins, $14.10

If this is the wrong type of gift to consider giving to your girlfriends, then I don’t wanna be right. Ian Malcolm, the incredibly saucy mathmatician from Jurassic Park was played by Jeff Goldblum and kickstarted the puberty of an entire generation. This mug is the perfect addition to your “objectifying men” dishware collection.

Temporary Tattoo Self-Care Bandaids by Motivational Tattoo, $5.77

Brilliant idea alert! File this under “How has it taken this long for someone to come up with this perfect idea?!” These little, tiny temporary tattoos come in a rainbow of colors, or transparent, if you prefer, and are adorned with uplifting, motivational, and frankly quite necessary statements and mantras. “Breathe,” “You can do it,” “Hold on,” and “I am enough” are all things I would love to be reminded of on the daily – especially during my low points. What a cute and thoughtful gift for your BFFs and fellow #spoonies in your life!

Wish Friendship Bracelet from By Molly and Izzie, $4.81

Have a ton of friends and not a ton of cash? Quit bragging! These are the perfect, lighthearted gift for your gaggle of galentines. Each charm bracelet is less than $5, and the sentimental payoff is huge thanks to the packaging: “If you were stung by a jellyfish, I’d totally pee on you.” Get right to the point and tell them how important they really are!

If jellyfish and pee aren’t your things, Mollie and Izzie have other excellent proclamations such as “You’re the Ron to my Harry,” “I’m so glad you’re as weird as me,” and “We’ve been friends for so long, I’ve forgotten which of us is the bad influence.” Such a good idea and so totally affordable (while supporting an Etsy business! Ahhh it’s just too perfect.)

Dainty Gold Shimmer Choker Necklace by Shop Evren, $17.25

Buying jewelry for friends can be kind of a gamble unless you perfectly share their aesthetic (which many BFFs often do). This choker necklace, though, is one of those pieces that can easily infiltrate just about any personal style and become a staple. A very delicate, gold-plated chain is all that makes up this necklace, which has a flexible length of 11.5″-14.5″. There’s no additional shipping charges if you buy more than one necklace, either!

Crystal Pyramid Necklace by Oliki, $19

Obviously, these long pendant necklaces are beautiful, but the most fun part of this gift is the customization. I have tons of friends who love crystals and gemstones, but definitely have their favorites. Oliki lets you pick the exact crystal you want out of twelve different types. Not only that, you can also choose the metal used in the fixture and chain, the design of the chain (choose from four different patterns), and the length.

So if your BFF loves long necklaces – but only when they’re silver – and has an affinity for jasper… boom, $19, custom-made, done. To sweeten the deal even further, every order comes beautiful packaged in a gift box, ready to present to your galentine. It’s minimal effort and maximum effort at the same time!

Groceries n’ Shit Reusable Tote Bag by Breakout Press Co., $15

We all know that BFFs are 100x more likely to save the world together than separate, right? Right. Reusable tote bags like this are awesome to keep in your car or even purse, and when your girls are out buying groceries for the week, what better way to encourage healthy habits than to buy them a grocery tote bag with the word “shit” on it? Just imagine how many grocery line checkers will smile when they see this. It’s a win-win-win-win-win.

Real Dried Flower & Bronze Bobby Pins by Villa Sorgenfrei, $11.90 per pair

  From far away, these bobby pins look like beautiful, vintage, enameled barrettes, but up close, you can see the each bobby pin has real flowers immortalized in clear resin. Choose from five different colors, and each is breathtaking in its own way.

Bestie Candle by Etta Arlene, $8.99

What does your BFF smell like? You may not be able to choose in real life, but you can choose when it comes to this Bestie candle. There are three soy candle scents to choose from: warm vanilla, tropical blend, or… beard. Yep, beard. Not sure how to interpret that, but I know that I like it. These are just little four ounce candles in jam jars, but I love how transportable they are. I used to think that “travel candles” were a hoax until I checked into an ultra-skeezy hotel room and craved a little light flicker and a pleasant scent more than anything. These little candles are rad, and soy candles last longer than conventional, too!

BFF Pizza Slices Friendship Necklace from You Love You Shop, $11.54 per slice

Need to cover an entire squad? This pizza necklace is perfect for a tight-knit group that maybe just so happens to love pizza as much as they love each other. (I think we all know that describes about 90% of girl squads internationally.) Get as many “slices” as you have friends, it doesn’t matter if you have more than six. Alternative, you can pare down your overgrown squad by handing these out like roses on The Bachelor. Your choice! Galentine’s Day! 

What’s that? You’re part of a gluten-free girl gang? No worries.

Cheese Wheel BFF Friendship Necklace from Bella Aniela, $10.26 per… wedge?

This cheese wheel has you & your fromage-squad covered.

Pink Promise Ring by Silver Dove Jewelry, $11.99

This looks like an old vintage signet ring, but with the almighty pinky swear instead of some dumb family monogram. Buy this for your friends and next time some gross dude Is sidling up on you in a bar, your BFF can come up and tell him that they’ll “break a pinky swear on his face.” How cool is that?! We live in an action movie now, so get used to it.

Glowing Skin Tea Sampler Set by Gratitude Tea Company, $14.99

Tea is a constant in the life of my friends who live overseas. As much as I love tea, I’ll never have the relationship with tea that my girlfriends in the UK do. It just won’t happen. Even some of my USA-born girlfriends are getting so into tea, they barely drink coffee anymore!! (Can you IMAGINE?!) Shoot your tea-loving friends one of these vibrant and delicious tea samplers including sweet, fruity teas like hibiscus and rose petals to deep, complex flavors like lemongrass and chamomile.

Whether you get one of these gifts for your Galentine, or you’ve had one stashed away for months – be sure you wrap it in Galentine-sanctioned wrapping paper.

Boob Wrapping Paper by Julie Ann Art, $4 per sheet

So perfect, right?! Now you can #freethenipple on Galentine’s Day – quite possibly the most appropriate holiday to promote nipple freedom. Also, celebrating boobs of all shapes and sizes is an excellent activity for a Galentine’s Day brunch in a public place. I can think of no better way to rack up the brownie points with the ladies and and draw attention to the fact that all of your BFFs are, collectively, the tits. ?

What are you getting your girlfriends for Galentine’s Day? Even if all you can do is shoot a quick text, start a tradition this year by showing your girls some love on February 13th.

14 Amazing, Budget-Friendly Galentine's Day Gifts Under $20! #GalentinesDay Screw "Singles Awareness Day" - the coolest alternative Valentine's Day holiday is definitely Galentine's Day. It's a day to celebrate the friendships you have with your BFFs and close pals, not to be confused with the Polish chicken dish,