#also I'm in the process of moving my rocks

[a-story-teller]

I was in a major car accident yesterday (got t-boned) and was very luckily a) alone in the car, as the passenger side got walloped and b) not injured. However I took care of everything and then went home and proceeded to sleep for 19 out of the following 24 hours.

[dredshirtroberts]

y'know. i don't often hate the way my brain is and how difficult it makes certain things for me.

i do a little today though.

[ssahotchnerr]

Aaron having to bring his daughter with him to work for whatever reason? She’s tiny enough to not be running around and mainly just sleep on his chest all day. It’s fall outside and she’s in a warm teddy bear outfit so it’s literally like a stuffed animal on his chest as he works. She wouldn’t remember anything she saw in files but he makes sure her head is never near anything bad. Makes his heart warm and happy when the others realize that she’s there and coo over her and the outfit. Penelope takes pictures of them to send to you too 😭🖤

soak it in

i'm going to CRY cw; fem!reader, girl dad!aaron, small foyet reference

aaron's entrance into the bullpen piqued the interest of several, as it was different from any other, usual morning. not only was his briefcase in hand, but also a carseat, and a diaper bag was slung proudly over his shoulder. there were smiles from the team, some small nudges to look amongst the other units, as today's visitor was easily welcomed.

during breakfast, you had been notified your dentist appointment had been moved up, due to the office closing earlier within the day for whatever reason. with such short notice and jessica being unavailable, aaron was the obvious solution, and your daughter came to work with him - until you were done running a few errands and could drop by to retrieve her.

for the meantime - as she was there - aaron opted to work strictly on the no-pictures-included files. while she was never in close proximity to a file regardless, and today's onesie's hood happened to shield her eyes, and her little mind wouldn't process or remember anything - aaron didn't want to take any chances. he yearned to keep his daughter as far away from that, all the horrors the world possessed, for as long as he possibly could. jack had gained the knowledge - that monsters were real, just in human form - sooner than he would have liked. sadly.

currently baby girl was tucked into his chest, her right cheek smushed against him. she dozed off not too long ago; she had gotten a bit antsy and luckily his swivel desk chair allowed him to slowly rock her as he worked, in addition to soothingly shushing her, whispering that it's okay; ultimately calming her down. her little fingers found a near death grip on his shirt, clinging onto him as she slept.

when he had felt the pull of fabric, he gazed down and couldn't help but smile. aaron also took a moment, to soak it all in. the window of time where this was possible, was limited; her against his chest, small enough to be cradled in one arm, quiet and secure in the comfort of his office. all in too fast progression would aaron blink, and she would be way more interested in exploring and bouncing off the walls.

the thought immediately snapped his heart into two. if only she could stay that tiny, forever.

as he wrote, flipped a page, switched files, aaron was extremely careful to his movements. he tried not to rustle her, despite her being comfortably laid in his not-preoccupied-by-writing arm.

the sudden creak of his door lifts his eyes, penelope entering. the quietest of aw’s leaves her as she approaches, with an extra spring in her step at the sight before her. in addition, she doesn't hesitate to whisk out her phone.

"i didn't know this cutie was here today." the words leave her in a gentle, yet high, pitched tone, giddiness laced within. her jaw fully drops as she catches sight of the cozy onesie the littlest hotchner inhabits, "oh my god look at her outfit!"

“garcia.” aaron lightly warns as her volume heightens, his eyes flicking back up to her from his paperwork, his pen slowing.

“i know sorry sorry, i just neeeed to share the cuteness with the mrs.," penelope grins, aiming her camera at baby girl, and aaron, snapping a few pictures. "this is just, too dang adorable. she needs a copy, i need a copy, and i'll make you a copy too, sir."

that tugs aaron's lips into a smile, a small chuckle leaving him. "she's cute, huh?"

"um hello? cute doesn't even begin to cover it. please tell me you're the one who dressed her today. if yes, i might have to scream. just might."

"not today." aaron admitted, dropping his pen and fixing the small hood, which had fallen a bit too much in front of baby girl's face. again, his lips couldn’t help but pull into a smile. god, he loved being a girl dad, and a dad in general. "but, i may have picked it out."

"i was right. i'm going to scream." quick to realize what she said, penelope held out her hands in defense - before aaron even had the opportunity to open his mouth - clarifying with wide eyes. "internally! i'm screaming internally."

aaron took a slight pause, before speaking. “actually, about the copies - ”

penelope’s shoulders dropped in defeat, her lips pulling to the side - an equivalent to an ‘eek’. “was i too enthusiastic?”

“on the contrary,” aaron’s expression softened, laughing gently as to again, not rouse baby girl. “would you mind bringing me two? i’ll need one for in here, and for my wallet.”

[annewithaneofthegreengable]

Kinktober - Day 12

12th — face sitting, Lewis Hamilton

The previous day I The next day I Kinktober masterlist I Main list

A/n: I know I'm a little bit behind the schedule but I promise you I will finish the whole kinktober list, just not fully in October.

“I’m not sure, honey,” you said with a hesitant voice, standing beside the bed where he lay. 

“What’s wrong, sweets? You know I have eaten you out multiple times before, this is no different.” he said, reaching over to stroke your leg with the back of his hand.

"This is different" you protested, arms folding over your chest. "I'd be hovering over you, that's not going to be a pretty sight. And what if I hurt you?"

Quicker than you could process, his arm moved to grasp your waist and he pulled you to him. You squealed as you fell into his lap, hands landing on his chest to save yourself somehow. With you on his lap, his hand moved to trace over the expanse of your body, gently squeezing your curves with a quiet moan.

"Not a pretty sight?" he scoffed, shaking his head. "Baby, have you seen yourself? You're gorgeous and stunning. Look at you. These breasts," his hand traced the underside of your left boob before slipping up to pinch the nipple, receiving a small gasp from you. "This tummy of yours?" he stroked the soft fat of your belly, "I love it." When your lips opened to protest, he quickly continued,

"Means I'm keeping my girl well looked after, means you're happy. And these thighs, these stretch marks? I love them. God, I love all of you. I want you all the time, but I also just want to stare at you too because damn, Y/N, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life."

Smiling warmly, he cupped your face in his hands, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. 

“Always remember how amazing you are, okay? I want you to see yourself through my eyes strong, sexy, and utterly captivating.” His thumbs brushed over your cheeks, wiping away any lingering doubt. 

“Now, about that face-sitting thing... Are you ready to give me a show, sweetheart?” With a playful grin, Lewis guided you onto his face once more, his nose nuzzling your slick folds as you settled into position. 

As soon as you sat down on his face, Lewis let out a deep groan against your pussy, the vibrations sending shivers through your body. He gripped your hips firmly, pulling you down harder onto his mouth while his tongue delved between your folds, lapping at your clit with enthusiasm.

"Mmm, fuck yeah, ride my face baby," he mumbled against your heat, his words dripping with desire. One hand slid up your thigh, fingers digging into the flesh as he spread your legs wider apart, giving himself better access to your dripping core.

His other hand reached up to tweak and roll your nipples between his fingers, tugging lightly until they stood hard and aching. The dual sensations of his skilled mouth and nimble fingers drove you wild, making it impossible to hold back the moans that spilled from your lips.

"You taste so good, sweetheart,"

As you began grinding down on his face, Lewis let out an approving grunt, his hands gripping your ass tightly. He feasted on your pussy like a man starved, his tongue delving deep inside you, swirling around your walls and flicking over your sensitive spots.

The obscene slurping sounds filled the room as he ate you out with gusto, relishing every drop of your sweet nectar. His nose rubbed against your clit with each thrust of his tongue, sending jolts of pleasure coursing through your veins.

"Fuck, you're so wet for me already," he growled against your folds, the vibrations adding to the intense sensations. "Ride my face harder, baby. Let me feel that tight little cunt squeezing my tongue."

Lewis's dirty talk only fueled your arousal, pushing you closer to the edge. Your hips rocked faster, grinding your soaked pussy against his eager mouth as he devoured you like a man possessed.

"Oh god, yes! Just like that!" you cried out, tangling your fingers in his hair and holding him in place. His tongue delved deeper, hitting that special spot inside you that made your toes curl.

He responded with a muffled moan, the sound vibrating deliciously against your throbbing clit. Two fingers joined his tongue, pumping in and out of your tight channel as he worked you towards climax.

"That's it, sweetheart. Come for me. Soak my face with your juices," he urged, doubling his efforts. His fingers curled just right, rubbing against that sensitive bundle of nerves as his tongue flicked rapidly over your clit.

"Ah, shit, yes! Rub that pretty face all over my stubble," Lewis grunted, his breath hot against your sex as he spoke. His facial hair rasped against your delicate skin, leaving a tingling trail of sensation wherever you ground against him.

With a particularly firm thrust of his tongue, he pushed you over the brink. Your inner muscles clamped down on his probing digits as waves of ecstasy crashed over you, your orgasm ripping through you with the force of a tidal wave.

"Fuck, Y/N! Yes, come on my face!" Lewis cheered, lapping up your release with unbridled enthusiasm. He sucked your clit into his mouth, nibbling gently as he prolonged your pleasure, milking every last tremor from your quivering body.

As your orgasm subsided, Lewis slowly released your twitching pussy from his greedy mouth, licking his lips with a satisfied smirk. He gazed up at you with lust-darkened eyes, his face glistening with your essence.

"Damn, that was incredible," he purred, giving your sensitive folds a gentle kiss. "You always look so beautiful when you come undone for me."

He helped you stand, steadying you as your shaky legs found purchase on the floor. Lewis leaned in, capturing your lips in a deep, passionate kiss, sharing the taste of your arousal with you.

When he finally broke the kiss, he grinned mischievously. "Now, how about we flip the script and see how you like being on top?"

Just as Lewis was suggesting you take control, the door burst open and Roscoe, his energetic bulldog, bounded into the room, tail wagging wildly. The sudden interruption caused you both to jump, breaking the intimate moment.

Roscoe, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he just crashed a private encounter, trotted over to Lewis and nudged his hand with his snout, whining for attention. Lewis chuckled, scratching the dog behind the ears.

"Well, looks like someone wants in on the action," he joked, glancing up at you with a playful grin. "Guess we'll have to continue this later, sweetheart."

He gave your rear a light squeeze before turning his focus to his excited pup, showering Roscoe with affection. You couldn't help but laugh at the scene, feeling a warmth in your chest at the sight of Lewis with his beloved dog.

Taglist:@formula1-motogpfan@iamafootballfanmiasanmia@arian-directioner@annimausi@mythicalmaven@lucycowr@hamilton-mount @Chuxk-leclerk @landosgirl @Kikiaaaay @iluvvmeeee @stars4me @starz4me1 @fxrmuladaydreams @Ashleyo1611 @ln-fours @cloud-55 @neo-stay @mysteriesincorporated @nzygftoji @dinodumbass @qxeenjen @lilmacabe @9fi @sya-skies @toriiez @jud-3 @ryl-xoxo @fandomz-queenie @gracie23x @kr1sblog @b-law @F1fan24 @taylorsdoratheafr @missevrythingg @salma @cherrypopsicle @toasterpiastri @uhhvictoria @01rrdbull @aracelys-stuff @horseymchorse3 @lou-ghoul @unknownmystery22 @thisbitxhs-blog @toxicdreamer296 @maxivstappen @si1ver06 @mendes-bae @bestgirlie @mbioooo0000 @depressedgiftedburnout @lieslostinsilence @chaoticversion @kaydesssssssss @maryelizaart @milkyymelanine @bisrae @carlando4 @mystichandspruneshark @sweetwh0re @larastark3107 @fiveyjustin @moonchildlec @bicrazybabe @maximumflaps @sainzwife @i--sa @liviav @nitonan-blog @moodymoony71 @horrible-decision @verstappenluv111 @Meyla123X @bea-stilinksi24 @Hayley125 @imjustme-n @elizamoe133 @bernelflo @evie-likes-stuff @anne1444444 @celtis--vr @rockytheluver @orlafitz1664 @aliceespector @ricciadosredbull @novelant @briannamh07 @oliveswiftly @hotlapshottakes @sinners-98-world @ramenblutte @fallenlunar @little-nando14 @fore45fore @importantduckhumanoidpatrol @eroselless @strabunny @sydneyhlove @jkdaddy01 @multi-fandom5 @f1-hoff @kittylolly4 @reguluscrystals @uhhvictoria @arian-directioner @forza-dolce @dukeofjjune @vimayxo @ilove-tswizzle @peachapat119

[lighteyed]

you and i (back at it again) / steve harrington

summary: steve's left standing alone after starcourt, until you show up for him.

word count: 2.2k

author's note: inspired by this tik tok because i nearly shed a tear also this is my first time posting in awhile be nice pls

He watches his friends reunite with their families, mournful. He stands alone and contemplative by a cop car, the various spots of bruising and swelling on his face beginning to pulse with pain the more his adrenaline began to fade out of his bloodstream. The cops at the station said they'd called his parents house, his house, but no one had picked up. He knew they were home. He kicks a rock near his his foot, shoving his hands in the pockets of the bloody uniform he was still wearing. He wants a shower. He wants to go to bed. He wants to go to bed with the serenity of someone who knew they were loved. He wouldn't be able to do that if he went home. The word home a loose term.

"We can take you home if you need a ride, son," one of the cops says to him. Steve kicks at another rock. Home.

"That's alright," Steve says dismissively, ignoring the tight twist in his chest. "Someone will have gotten in touch with my parents by now. I'm sure they're on their way." The cop looks doubtful. Steve hates that he looks doubtful. Steve hates that he's also doubtful. "Couple more minutes," he swears. He knows he might as well walk his ass home, though.

He leans against the hood of the car, rubbing at his jaw. His hand comes away bloody. He's about to accept the cop's offer for a ride, maybe, he figures, he'll just go to Robin's and sit there for as long as her parents will have him, when a car comes careening into the lot like there's not fifty officers of the law standing around, the tires screeching loudly across the gravel. It's barely at a stop, practically still moving, when you throw the door open and throw your body out of it.

"Steve Harrington, what the fuck?" You leave your car door open, leave it in the middle of the road, still running, to get to him in time. He gazes at you, and it's a stupid look in all honesty, mouth agape, his brown eyes big and tragic looking, his face torn up and swollen. He wasn't expecting you. Why would he have been? You'd been broken up for a few months now and he was still nursing his wounds from it, knowing it was supposed to be for the best; you felt like he was hiding things from you and he knew that he was, hiding all the stuff about the Upside Down, not wanting you involved, wanting you safe. And in a way he was glad for it. He'd gotten through this with you unscathed, and who knows what would have happened if you guys had still been together. When he looks at you, though, when he allows himself to be pulled in closer, your hand coming up to graze his cheek, examining every scrape on his face with softness and worry, he allows himself to want. To miss you.

You tilt his face back, scrutinizing his features. He keeps his eyes on you. You showed up for him. No one else but you. You were here. "The fire is all over the fucking news and I didn't know if you were working tonight so I was sitting by the phone waiting to hear from someone and then your friend Robin called and said you were waiting here for someone to come get you so I just came in case and- and what happened to your face? And where are your parents?"

He shakes himself out of his stupor. "They didn't answer the phone." But you did. You answered and you were here. A wave of pure love rushes through him. He knew a thing or two about being alone, had felt that way for as long as he could remember, no matter how many people he surrounded himself with or how many parties he threw, but you were here, and he wasn't alone. Steve wraps his arms around you in one sudden movement, an outpouring of affection he hadn't realized he'd been reserving for you. Always you.

You stand there for a moment, processing, before you respond, leaning into his touch. The sirens wail around you. Neither of you move. He's safe. You breathe relief into the embrace, holding him tighter to you. He's hardly talking, and usually he's the one talking the absolute most, but he's stunned, both with what's just happened, what he's borne witness to, and with the way you care about him despite everything, more than anyone he's ever met, and the way he cares about you and how could he ever, ever let himself let you go? How could that ever happen? It's all he thinks about as he holds you, feeling safer than he's felt in awhile, the smell of your hair and your skin filling his brain with serotonin.

"Am I taking you home?" You pull away, staring up at him, his ruined face that is still so painfully gorgeous, still so hard to look at. Your hand is remains poised on his cheek. It's warm and welcome.

"No, no, your house, please," he brings his hand up to meet yours.

"I got you, c'mon, honey." He turns and thanks the officers who'd been waiting with him before letting you lead him to your car. He keeps his hand on yours. It tethers him to reality. He's here and he's okay. Or he will be, soon. He's here and he's safe, at the very least. He's not trapped and being tortured. No one's going to hurt him. He's got your soft hand in his and he's okay for right now.

The drive to your house is silent, but it's not awkward. You try to keep your eyes on the road as much as you can but you can't help that they keep finding themselves back on Steve. You've never seen him so reserved. You're sure it was more than a fire that happened back there, and you're sure he won't tell you a thing about it. You drive one-handed the whole way home. You let him need you.

At your house, you get your bathroom set up for him to shower, placing fresh towels on the rack for him, laying out your products on the counter. He would've been able to find them regardless, but you busy yourself with it anyway. When you go into your bedroom to tell him the bathroom is ready, his shoes are off and put into the corner he used to always put them in, and he looks exhausted. "I didn't bring clothes to change," is the first thing he says.

"That's what you're most concerned about?" You give him a funny look. You open your closet and rummage around on the ground for a second before tossing him a pair of his old sweatpants and a t-shirt. He stares at them in his hands. "I didn't know if I should give them back. So I just... didn't." He smiles a little. The first you've seen all night.

"Thanks," he waves them in the air before retreating down the hall. The door shuts and the shower squeaks on.

The way you loved Steve was unconditional, as much as you wish it wasn't sometimes. Even when he was pushing you away, even when he kept things from you, you'd always be there for him. He didn't have anyone in his corner like that. And you wanted to be. It wasn't something you felt obligated to do. You cared about him, and so you went to him. He'd do the same if the roles were reversed. It was unconditional because even when being there for him hurt, you still stayed. You still loved.

When he comes back into your room, his hair dripping but clean, God, he feels clean, his face devoid of dried blood but bruised and wounded, you're waiting for him with a first aid kit and a fresh ice pack. You must've heard the water shut off and gotten everything ready for him. The old sweatpants and t-shirt smell more like you now than they do like him but he's not complaining in the slightest. Something about you keeping them instead of throwing them away or lighting them on fire makes him think maybe there's hope. Not that you had a bad break up to begin with, it was more sad than angry, nothing that warranted a clothes burning, but still. Still, still, still.

He sits down where you indicate, rubbing his towel across his head to soak up the sopping water. His face is flushed from the hot water. You sidle up next to him with the medicine and bandages and try not to get too caught up in him. He places the ice pack on his puffy, blackened eye. He doesn't get it, this gentleness. He doesn't think he deserves it, really. After everything, does he deserve it? Does he get this peace?

"You're fidgeting," you mutter, narrowly missing the spot you were aiming for.

"Oh, sorry," he lifts his chin up a bit more and tries to sit still. You're so patient and kind and it makes him ache a little. You take care of him and it's not for any reason other than you caring about him. He's not used to anyone caring about him. "Are you sure this is alright? You don't wanna... be alone?"

"No, I wanna make sure you're okay," you answer easily, as easy as breathing, swiping medicine across his wounds with the lightest touch you can manage. He hisses in pain, and you wince, feeling it, too.

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"I want to, Steve, I promise." You pat his cheek, another gentle, affectionate maneuver from you. If he's okay, you're okay. He takes this in. He thinks he really feels his heart expanding.

As you start dabbing at his other wounds, you speak, finally. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can," he replies, blinking up at you with his good eye.

"Was this..." you hesitate. He probably won't answer. "I don't doubt there was a fire but this..." you gesture to his face. "This looks a hell of a lot worse than just escaping a fire, Steve, you look seriously fucked up."

"What, you don't think I look pretty anymore?" He smiles again and you roll your eyes at him, but you smile back all the same.

"You're very pretty, Steve, but you have a black eye and there was blood all over your face and you're all cut up." He swoons just a little when you call him pretty. He's got an ego, what can he say? He continues smiling at you, a little high off painkillers, a little high off being here with you. If he's gotta be tortured he may as well get you back out of it.

"You look pretty, too, y'know," he says softly, his free hand twisting a strand of your hair around.

"Dodging the question I see," you raise your eyebrows at him but say nothing else. It was to be expected.

He takes a deep breath, looking up toward the ceiling, thinking maybe all this time he's just been stupid and silly for not telling you sooner, maybe he could've been with you all this time if he'd just told you, maybe it wouldn't have been the end of the world to have you involved. Maybe it would all be fine. "I wanted to keep you safe from all of it. See what happened to me? It could've been you, if you had been there."

"I would've wanted to be there with you," you insist. "You know I would."

"I do," he nods. "And that's why I don't involve you, babe, if something happens to me it doesn't matter to anyone but if something happens to you-"

"Why would you say that to me? You think I wouldn't care if you died?" You take his face in your hands, and he drops his ice pack. "Steve, are you an idiot? It would matter to those kids you spend all your time with if you died. It would matter to Robin, and to your family even if they take you for granted, and it would matter to me. I love you so much you moron, you can't say it wouldn't matter. I wouldn't be here if it didn't matter. I go out of my mind worrying about you, don't tell me you don't matter."

His head spins, in the best possible way. The pain from his wounds doesn't register. Your hands on his face registers. You words register. Everything else is background noise. "You still love me?"

Oh. Your face warms. It's not like it had been that long since you'd called it off, it should've have been a surprise to him, but hearing you say those words makes him light up. You see him light up. "Yeah, of course I do, it doesn't go away just 'cause you won't tell me anything about your life," you grumble, taking your hands off him.

"Hey," he whispers, grabbing for you before you can tear yourself away from him. He brushes the hair back from your face. He has that look in his eyes that make people fall to their knees. Heavy-lidded and tender. Soft. Loving. "I love you, okay? I do. That's why I try to protect you. I'll tell you anything you want." He knows it now, for real, that he can't lose you again. Not this time. "C'mere, come back." You let him pull you in. "I'll tell you anything, please don't leave me, okay?" You shake your head at him. Never, never. He's pleading, desperate. When he moves to kiss you, the desperation is laced in it, he's lurching forward and he's hungry and yearning and your lips meet soft and fast because he wants to savor it after so long.

The disconnect of your lips sends him reeling, he wants to dive back in for more, for more of everything, but you stop him. "It's me and you, okay, always. But you gotta let me all the way in this time." You tap his heart lightly. "All the way, Steve. Everything."

He leans back. He is hesitant and bruised and bloody, a little bit broken, but mostly he's in love. Mostly he wants to give you the world. So he takes your hands in his. He tethers himself to reality. And he talks.

[drdemonprince]

I remember when civil unions for same-sex couples were legalized in 2016. I was only 17 at the time, and I was still dealing with a lot of stuff. Marriage was only a very far thought in the back of my mind, but still, I remember being so happy to hear that news. It was a new option for me, one that could also open up to the possibility of having a child someday, something I had never really considered possible before that time. It’s been several years now, and little to no progress has been made. I hate how slow this process is. And now we’re going backwards I’m still quite young, only 25, but I already know I would like to become a parent. It’s a difficult feeling to describe. I want to love another human being in the same way that my father and my mother have done with me. I want my boyfriend to become a dad and I want to be by his side throughout all of it. When I see my boyfriend playing with my one-year-old niece, I daydream about having a son or a daughter of our own. I want to see my parents love my child like they loved me. I want to see their smiles while they’re rocking my baby to sleep. I want to tear up at my son or daughter’s graduation. I want to be nervous about the person they’re bringing home for dinner. I want to fear for their safety. I want to trust them to make the right choices. I want to be sad about seeing them move to another city. I want to be proud of their accomplishments. I want to hope that they’ll be happy with the life they’ve chosen and that I’ve helped them build. I want to feel all of it.

A heartbreaking piece from Giulio Serafini on Italy's universal ban on surrogacy -- a policy that I'm embarrassed to admit I was not aware of until just now. Surrogacy was already banned within the country prior to this year, but this new policy now bars prospective parents from conceiving via surrogacy anywhere in the world and then bringing their children back. Between this and the country's complete ban on gay adoption, it's now impossible for same-sex couples to have children.

[broshot]

gojo satoru cries when he's inside of you.

cw/tw: smut + aftercare, gn!reader, kissing, soft!gojo, fingering, pet names (love), sorry for bad english, english isn't my first language (also not proof read)

♡♡♡

you noticed this the first time you had sex with him. he was deep inside of you, rocking his hips slowly. his forehead was pressed against yours, your noses brushing against each other frequently. he was close, you could've probably been able to count his eyelashes if your eyes weren't closed.

but when you opened your eyes to look into his, you saw the drops of water sliding down his cheeks, making his eyelashes shine. he was crying.

you asked him what was wrong, caressing his cheek with your hand softly. he shook his head, leaning down and placing it in the crook of your neck. you asked him the same question again just to be surprised by the answer.

"everything is just perfect, you're perfect. it just feels so good being inside you," he sniffled.

ever since then, it had just been something that happened during sex with him.

he reassured and praised you a lot outside and inside the bedroom but this was something you only saw in the bedroom. gojo satoru does not want to show his true feelings. he's carefully built up walls and doesn't want them to shatter once again. he hides his flaws and insecurities with his playful personality and his shining smile. no one ever suspected anything before you.

you took his walls down way too fast for his liking. you saw him on his good and bad days and you still stayed. you saw him when he was at the lowest point of his life and still didn't leave him. he knew how to be an asshole, he knew how to annoy people enough to make them despise him and he was sure he wouldn't be a good boyfriend. but you proved him wrong, you with your amazing personality that he so very much loved.

yet you never saw him cry. he was sure to do that alone and he wanted to make sure to leave it that way.

but once again you did the exact opposite of his expectations.

♡♡♡

"satoru please, I can take you," you demand, getting impatient with how slow his fingers are stretching your hole.

"are you sure, love? you know I'm pretty big and I don't want to hurt you." he asks with worry in his voice.

"I'm sure, 'toru, I've taken you countless times. just please hurry up," you roll your eyes, smirking at him. he sure is taking his sweet time with you.

he smirks before taking his fingers out and drying them on his underwear. he slides his boxers off, tossing them on the floor before aligning his dick to your entrance.

he slides in slowly, making sure not to go too fast and hurt you in the process.

it's almost painful how slow he is thrusting, if you didn't know better you'd think he's teasing you.

"faster, please," you breathe out and he obeys, fastening his thrusting pace.

and there they are, his eyes are getting watery, the tears threatening to fall.

"you feel so good, love." he cries out as he takes your hand in is.

he doesn't really know why he cries when you two make love, he guesses he's just feeling too good and he loves you too much.

he moves his head closer to yours and chases your lips with his, pressing your lips together when he gets contact. his kiss is slow and messy but so so full of love.

and he's a mess when he cums. he lets out soft moans and sobs, crying out a few I love you's and praises at the same time. he's never quiet in bed (he's never quiet in general).

he collapses on you after both of you have gotten down from your orgasms. he presses soft but sloppy kisses on your chest and neck area while you run your hands through his hair.

but he gets up not long after, going to the bathroom and preparing a bath for you both. he doesn't leave you alone while that, though, but instead he carries you to the bathroom with him, helping you clean yourself with a warm wet towel while waiting for the bath to be ready.

it's calm, the only sounds being heard are his praises and the bathwater running.

"you did amazing, love, you're so perfect."

his walls come rumbling down whenever he's with you and to his surprise, he's not disappointed at all.

"I love you so much." he whispers, pressing a soft kiss on your lips.

"I love you so much too." you whisper back.

♡♡♡

a little smut post because my posts don't reach people rn :( request stuff for me to write pls

MASTERLIST

[whiskersz]

Hello all, I wanted to dedicate some time to writing some self indulgent stuff, so here's some Adam dating HCs! Do tell me if you'd like more ^o^ Also I'm trying to play around with the format of my posts.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Adam x Reader - Dating Headcanons

✦ Adam undoubtedly has a soft spot for you; from refraining to call you distasteful nicknames to trusting you to preen his wings, many are the ways in which he demonstrates that you’re special to him, not just another Angel. You’re one of the few souls who willingly shows him kindness after all, so how could he ignore that? Despite acting like a jerk most of the time, he really can’t bring himself to be that way around you.

✦ To get someone like him to fully respect you takes a lot of time and patience; just ignoring his unpleasant comments and jokes alone won’t do, you’ll sometimes have to retort with a joke of your own, or even laugh at them. If you do it’ll boost his confidence stratospherically, it’ll make him full on puff up his chest and give one strong flap of his wings to hear you laugh at something he just said.

✦ Something that I also mentioned in another one of my headcanons posts is that he loves naps; he’s a pretty lazy guy in general, so between meetings and training he’ll surely want to relax, even better if he gets to do that with you. He likes lying on his couch with you wrapped up in his arms and wings - bonus point if you’re peacefully sleeping – with his TV playing in the background. If you’re in bed though, expect him to move around a lot as he does so unconsciously in his sleep, unless he’s holding you...in which case his arms will practically trap you and you won’t be able to leave without waking him up.

✦ Another thing he quite enjoys doing with you is playing videogames, just to chill a bit together, and if drinking was allowed in Heaven I feel like he would be the type to play drinking games. He surprisingly doesn't need much to have fun, even in the house.

✦ Adam loves eating ribs, but he can’t cook for shit. He’ll always order those or takeout on a daily basis, so you decide that it’s a good idea to teach him at least the basics. He’s very clumsy in the kitchen, doesn’t really understand how most things work but hey, at least he can tell when the water’s boiling! So teaching him how to cook his own ribs is a bit of a process, but eventually he learns and takes pride in knowing how to make his favorite dish on his own. Give it some time and he’ll be parading around and telling anyone who asks about how his ribs are way better than the ones you can get at a restaurant.

✦ Speaking of food, he’ll almost always take you somewhere to eat if you’re on a date. Even if you’re just getting fries from some stall on the side of the street, he’ll make sure you’ve gotten a treat at the end of the day.

✦ He’s a big show off too, so he’ll 100% propose you to try playing guitar only to exhibit his own skills. If you compliment him enough and you appear to be genuinely interested in learning though, he will gladly be your teacher. He will show you how to play the songs he likes them most – his own – and reward you with a ‘You rock, babe!’ or something along those lines and a kiss whenever you get something right. He’s really, really proud of you and of being able to teach you something.

✦ Adam loves casually calling you pet names. He won’t use extremely cheesy ones, but things like babe/baby, sexy and hon. He’ll use them in sentences where they don’t even really belong, even, just because he’s willing  to show you this sweet side of him that nobody else gets to witness. The one thing he will never call you is shortened versions of your name; he finds those extremely corny.

✦ He’s also not really afraid of showing his love in public, PDA is very much his thing when you two are together. Hand holding, a wing draped across your back, an arm around your shoulder...careful not to do too much though, he’s not really a fan of kissing in public or anything on the more intimate side like that. If this happens he won’t deny you a kiss or a hug but you’ll have to deal with his attitude for a while.

[loganhowlettshousewife]

animal

chapter 3

friendly reminder that i am not a writer, i'm just a girl who loves logan howlett and wanted to write something exploring his animalistic side since i so rarely see it done. my first language is also not english, so please do not be rude when giving me any feedback.

warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, mentions of sex, non-sexual nudity

series masterlist │my masterlist

logan sleeps in your bed now. night after night you found him on the hard floor, until you couldn’t deal with the thought of him being so uncomfortable just because he wanted to be near you. so you forced him into your bed, though you’re not sure if forced is the right word to use given how willingly he slipped in next to you - as if he’d done it a million times before, as if it was normal.

he’s a walking heater - you swear there’s a fire burning under his skin, working through his veins to spread throughout his body. you naturally run cold, you always have, so cuddling up to his warmth is a luxury. even in the beginning, when you didn’t want to fall asleep in his arms for fear of what it would mean for your relationship, you would wake bundled up in his arms, safe and protected and wanted in a way that made you never want to leave the bed.

it’s nice, really nice.

and it simultaneously sucks, because you’ve started having dreams of logan, of kissing him, calling him your husband, watching him rock a baby. and you’ve had other dreams too, the ones you’re sure logan can smell on you, with his advanced senses. he’s always awake watching you when you wake up from those dreams, his body still curled against yours, hard dick pressed against you. but he never does anything.

it’s horribly endearing. he’s obviously affected but won’t leave you, knows how much comfort you’ve found in his arms. so he grits his teeth and bears it. despite being half-animal, he’s more of a gentleman than most of the men you’ve met.

and you love knowing that you affect him, knowing that your feelings for him are not completely one-sided, even if you can only be sure of the physical component. when you leave the room to start on your morning routine, he stays behind.

you can’t be certain, but you imagine him taking his dick in his hand, stroking himself to completion, hard and desperate and quick, muffling the sound of his groans with a hand pressed to his mouth.

you’re not used to being woken up like this, however. logan hovers over you, face twisted into a snarl so full of hatred it brings tears to your eyes. his claws are out and have ripped holes in the sheets and the mattress, locking you in a makeshift cage.

his eyes are glazed over, like he’s not quite present in the moment. he’s somewhere else right now, lost somewhere in his mind where you can’t reach him.

this isn’t a slow awakening where you can take time to blink the sleep from your eyes, letting them flutter shut for two more minutes to enjoy the bliss of being not-quite awake. the adrenaline hits you hard and fast, your heartbeat pounding loud in your ears.

you’re trembling, can feel it with every breath you take, shaky exhales and sharp inhales. you’re careful not to make any sudden moves, worried about what logan may do to you.

you know him, know he wouldn’t hurt you. but he doesn’t see you right now, you don’t know who or what he’s seeing in your place. but he’s never looked at you with these eyes, with this level of anger - in fact, you can’t remember a time when he’s truly been angry at you. scared, cautious, tense, maybe. but not fury like this.

��logan,” you whisper.

the sound has barely left your throat when he pulls one clawed hand away from the mattress, tearing more of it in the process, before punching his claws towards your chest. you cry out, instinctually, and that snaps him out of it.

you feel the sharp sting of his metal claws dragging over your skin as he pulls away. it’s only a scratch, and not a terribly deep one at that. you’re used to small injuries, pricking yourself in the garden or accidentally cutting your thumb while cooking or any other stupid way to draw blood to the surface of your skin.

but it’s not the pain that matters, it’s the thought that if it took him a second longer to break out of his nightmare he could have pierced your heart, killed you. 

“logan,” you ask, shaky, “are you okay?”

he’s staring at you, eyes wide and frightened, but the hatred that was there is gone. his claws retract back into his skin. he nods, slow, never breaking eye contact with you.

and then you burst into tears.

you can’t stop, your cries hysterical. logan sits on the bed, moving away from you with every cry that rakes your body, but you grab at his arms desperately, needing him. somehow, despite logan being the reason for your fear, he’s the only thing you want, your mind calling out his name like a prayer.

he hesitates to touch you at first, but you beg him with a broken “please”, and then he’s all over you, pulling you into his lap, nuzzling his face into your neck. he kisses you softly on the skin there, a habit he’s taken up that you don’t mind. you probably should mind, but you’re unable to care about that when it feels so right.

you fall asleep crying in his arms, the exhaustion pulling you under. you wake up again with the sun, logan looking haggard and pale, still holding you. it seems he didn’t fall back asleep when you had.

your throat feels raw from crying, and you can feel the tear tracks where they dried on your skin.

“what was the nightmare about?” you try to ask him.

he shakes his head, every line around his face pulled taunt, “no.”

you’d expected such an answer, something short and succinct where he refuses to lay his problems on you. still, you’d hoped he might share some information, even a sliver of his story that could help you help him.

you’re still worried about logan, but there’s not much you can do if he won’t speak to you, so you leave the bed to wash the dried tears from your face. you go on with your routine as usual, keeping a closer eye on logan, waiting for possible signs to help you uncover the mystery of whatever the fuck is happening with him.

there are none, of course - he’s very difficult to read when he wants to be.

he doesn’t touch you as much, a step further behind you than usual. but otherwise his behaviour doesn’t change too greatly. he’s still sweet and grumpy and lovely.

you teach him how to cook your favourite breakfast foods, and to your surprise, it comes naturally to him. he works by your side like he’s always been there, listening to your instructions perfectly every time. the cuts on your chest still burn slightly, but simply feeling his presence by your side makes everything better.

you’re reading a book on the couch when logan returns from hunting. he never brings anything from his hunt into the house, for which you’re grateful, but he does drag in a lot of dirt. 

you have a routine by now, or at least the bones of one. he likes it when you help him clean up after a hunt or a run in the forest, and so do you. it’s the kind of moment you imagine you’d find in a book, with a couple so deeply in love that they can hardly stand to be apart for a second.

you’re still not completely comfortable with the idea of stripping naked in front of him, but logan has no such qualms. in the bathroom, he pushes his pants and boxers down in one motion.

you blush as he steps into the shower, so unashamed of his body. there’s a wild edge to him that you notice more in moments like these, where you realise the impact of not having those human memories, the socialisation that teaches you to dislike yourself, teaches you that confidence is a negative thing, makes you vain and egotistical.

the water soaks him in an instant, flattening his cute hair tufts against his scalp and you giggle at the way he looks like a wet kitten, though less disgruntled.

he tilts his head expectantly, waiting for you. his gaze is dark and heady, intense as you pull off your shirt, leaving you in only a bra. your face warms as you take off your skirt next, watching logan’s face the entire time, the way his eyes linger on your panties for a long, long moment.

it’s not the first time you’ve undressed in front of him, but every time the effect is the same. warmth pools in your stomach, a mix of arousal and nerves. he’s intoxicating, and that’s terrifying to you.

you don’t take off your bra and panties. they feel like armour, protecting you from being fully defenceless in front of him. it’s not like he couldn’t see the full shape of you, every curve of your body, the parts that you love about yourself, that make you smile at the mirror, and those you hate. 

still, it makes you feel like the one in control - he’s completely naked and you’re not - though you know that he’s larger and stronger than you, that really he’s letting you be in control of the situation, not moving too much as you wash the blood and grime from his body. 

he cares so much about your comfort. sometimes it makes you want to cry. 

“you, now,” he grunts.

“what?”

you’re taken aback at the break in the quiet. it always shocks you a little when he speaks, his voice rough from disuse. 

“i will clean you, now,” he gestures at you and you laugh nervously, taking a step back, as far as you can until you hit the tiled wall. it’s not a very large shower, there’s not really anywhere to go.

“logan,” you whisper, heart in your throat, “no. not right now, okay? finish up your shower, i think- yeah i’m going to go now.”

you practically run out of the steam-filled bathroom, feeling like you’re going to collapse at any second. the thought of him stripping you out of your remaining clothes, unclasping your bra, pulling your panties down your legs and tossing them aside, his hands running over your body, even for something as innocent as washing you, something you’ve done with him a dozen or so times.

you’re having enough sex fantasies about him as it is, you don’t need to add more fuel to the fire. and the thing is, you want it. you want him. you want those fantasies to come to life. but you can’t help but fear that logan’s only clinging to you because you’re the one who found him when he was at his most vulnerable.

when he goes out into the world, whether that’s sometime soon or if it takes years, will he start to resent you? will he find someone better? will the soft intimacy that’s been growing between you collapse like a house of cards?

you’re in your bedroom, laying on top of the sheets, staring up at the ceiling when logan enters.

“you’re upset?” he asks, and at the tone of his voice, the pain that you hear reflected in each syllable, your head turns his way. he looks devastated, like the idea that you might be upset at him is the worst thing that’s ever happened to him in his life. you’re very certain that’s incorrect.

he looks so innocent like this, not a wild animal with claws that rip through flesh like butter, but a man, anxious and unsure and pleading. you can’t help the smile that rises to your lips. you shake your head as much as you can against the mattress and reach your arms out towards him, a wordless beckoning.

“never,” you say.

within moments he’s in your arms, hugging you tight, his face pressed into your chest. it’s nice, the solid weight of him, like a very heavy weighted blanket. minutes pass, and then logan shifts his body just enough to look up at you.

he makes eye contact with you, and in his eyes you see a raging storm. his face is blank as it often is, a mask that you can’t read, but you can feel his muscles tense as if preparing for a fight, can catch a glimpse of several different emotions in the hazel staring back at you.

he leans up, until his face is barely a centimetre away from yours, and your breath catches. you’re scared to hope, terrified, even if all signs point in one direction, so you don’t move closer but you don’t move away, eyes fluttering shut as if it’ll all become easier, as if the butterflies in your stomach will recede, if you’re not looking directly at him.

he closes the distance between you, mouth meeting yours in a chaste, soft kiss. it’s nothing like you expected from logan, feral and intense in everything he does. but he’s waiting for a response from you, scared in the way you’ve only ever seen him once, when you’d first found him in the barn.

he pulls away and you grab onto him desperately, forcing him to crash back into you. you share open-mouthed kisses, hot and urgent yet so loving. it’s everything you’ve ever dreamed about, perfect in the way little else can be, and you feel tears prickling in your eyes, a sob catching in your throat.

you’re absolutely fucked, your heart stolen by him, and you can only hope logan meets you where you are and doesn’t hurt you.

taglist: @mystiquesvendetta @raeinyourdreams @babey-fruit-bat @meetmypointlessaddiction @kneelforloki @deaky-with-a-c @hypermarvellove @littlepeanut03 @the-ruler-of-death @aliengutzstuff @misscrissfemmefatale @mynamesstevenwithav @teaganthemorningstar @blackkatzz @leryg0 @fries11 @forksloree @i5uckersblog @dragovegogrimborn @quillycrow @melday0105 @just-a-little-cellist

if your name is in white it means i couldn’t tag you for some reason. i’m very sorry :(

[pickingupmymercedes]

What it means - Lewis Hamilton

warnings: bits of angst with the w15 but it's fluff through and through.

wordcount: +1k

a/n: the special for Lewis's laps on Senna's mp4 (there was not a single dry eye in that circuit, I guarantee)

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

______________________________________________________________

The silence in our hotel room felt almost too loud, stretching on as I took off my shoes and let them fall by the door.

The day had been relentless and long, one of those that felt like a whole month.

I hadn’t known my shoulders could hold this much tension, hadn’t realized how every part of me was vibrating with something raw I couldn’t quite pint point yet.

I moved toward the window, looking out at the fading glow of São Paulo’s skyline, the bustling city alive with lights and sounds, so starkly at odds with the quiet turmoil I felt inside.

I could still hear the crowd’s cheers and chants from earlier, though they were little comfort.

This was Brasil, my home, and the Brasilian Grand Prix meant so much. For Lewis, for me, for all of us.

And it hadn’t gone anything like we’d hoped it could.

I barely registered Lewis sitting down on the edge of the bed, watching me carefully. His eyes, always gentle and observant, held that steady patience I’d come to rely on, though I couldn’t bring myself to look at him yet.

I just stayed by the window, the glow of the city casting a soft reflection back at me.

“So” he said finally, breaking the silence, his voice calm and measured. “What exactly are we sulking about?”

I closed my eyes, resting my head against the cool glass. “I’m just… frustrated” I managed, barely louder than a whisper. “I know it sounds bratty but I don’t even know where to start.”

He didn’t say anything, waiting for me to go on, that same unshakeable patience steady as a rock.

Turning back to him, I took a deep breath, my voice a bit shaky as I spoke.

“It’s the race. It’s the Brazilian Grand Prix. Your car was awful, and it didn’t have to be that way. You were out there fighting just to keep it on track, barely able to grip the corners, the rear end sliding all over the place like it’s trying to spin you out. It felt… reckless.”

I heard the edge in my voice, sharper than I’d meant it to be, but the frustration was bubbling up faster than I could control it.

“And you’ve got people here who love you. Gosh, so many people who are rooting for you—not even just because of who you are, but because of who you represent for them. And then today—” I bit my lip, trying to keep my emotions in check, “it was like all of that, was …”

Lewis sat quietly, his hands folded, listening as I poured out words I hadn’t even fully processed myself. I let out a heavy breath, my heart pounding.

“And then there’s my family,” I continued, my voice a bit steadier now. “They came here to watch you, to be a part of this. And they love you and they see what you mean to Brazil, to me. It’s just…” I trailed off, unable to find the right words.

“It sucks” I admitted finally. “It fucking sucks”

He nodded, a small, understanding smile softening his expression. “It was awful out there. I felt every bit of it, just like you did.”

The rawness in his tone made my chest tighten, the disappointment so clearly mirrored in his voice. “But” he continued “I also got something I’ll carry with me forever.”

I swallowed, remembering him climb into that Maclaren MP4, the way he’d paused just before getting in, like he was soaking in the magnitude of it.

The entire crowd had gone silent, breath held collectively as Lewis, their adopted son of sorts, took his place in that piece of Brazilian history.

A pin could’ve been heard in that circuit as he drove around Interlagos. On a rainy Sunday, just like Ayrton had done so many times.

“I dreamed of watching something like that live for so long. But I could’ve never hoped to be the one to drive that car around here” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion. “Since I was five, since I first saw Ayrton race on TV. He was my absolute hero, and I didn’t know much about the world back then, didn’t know what I could be, but seeing him… it made me believe. And today …” He shook his head, his eyes shining. “it felt like I’d come full circle. Like that little kid who once dreamed had finally made it.”

I found myself moving toward him, the sting of tears burning at the back of my eyes as I sat down beside him. He took my hand in his, his thumb brushing over my knuckles as he went on.

“You looked… I could see how much it meant to you.” I whispered as I watched the way his face softened at the memory.

“Standing there, with that car, in front of all those people who’ve opened their hearts to me… It was a homecoming in every way.” he said, his eyes shining with a quiet pride.

“It took me a while to understand, you know. For the longest time, I thought the respect came from the trophies, the podiums, the points. But it has always been about Ayrton, about the fact that I’ve always looked up to him, just like you guys do. I think…” he hesitated, glancing up at me as he tried to find the words. “I think it’s about the way I see him like you guys do, not just a f1 driver, but as a symbol of what I could aspire to be.”

I bit my lip, feeling the burn of tears prickling at the back of my eyes. It had been easy to get wrapped up in the frustration of the day, to dwell on the setbacks, the disappointments, the what-ifs. But hearing him talk like this, seeing the reverence and gratitude in his expression, it got me out of my head.

“Yeah” I whispered, barely able to keep my voice steady. “I saw my parents watching you. They had that same look in their eyes as everyone else in the crowd. They were in awe. Not of what you’ve done, but who you are.”

“And it’s not just any country, is it?” he responded, his voice dropping to a murmur. “It’s Brazil. Your country, my country now too, because of them and because of you.”

His fingers brushed gently against my cheek, wiping the tear away. “And I know how much you wanted today to go differently” he said, his voice warm, reassuring. “But this it’s bigger than any one race.”

I leaned into his touch, feeling the familiar steadiness of his presence seep into me. “I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I let my emotions get the better of me.”

“You care. That’s all it is. And you’ve got every right to feel frustrated.” he replied softly, his arm slipping around my waist.

I closed my eyes, letting his words settle. His warmth relaxing against the jagged edges of disappointment still clinging to me. And I finally let myself relax, my pulse steadying under his touch.

“You know,” he murmured after a pause, “driving Ayrton’s car… that was my way of saying ‘thank you.’ too. To him and to everyone who’s supported me here, even when it hasn’t been easy. It was my way of showing that I haven’t forgotten that little kid back from Stevenage”

I nestled into his embrace, feeling the ache of the day slowly ease away, replaced by a calm I hadn’t realized I needed.

“I’ll carry today with me forever.” he almost whispered, his voice like melody in the quietness.

I let out a chuckle, one that was more relief than joy. “You don’t have to convince me of that. Nor anyone, really. We all saw it.”

I looked up at him, seeing the gentle warmth in his eyes, the quiet strength that had always drawn me to him. “I’m proud of you” I whispered, my voice catching. “For everything. For honoring Ayrton, for the way you’ve embraced Brazil, for everything you’ve done, and mostly for everything you are.”

I reached up, covering the side of his jaw with my hand as I let out a shaky breath, absorbing everything. His eyes softened, and he took a deep breath, as if gathering his thoughts, preparing to let me further into this part of his heart.

“When I first slid into that car…” he began, his voice hushed and raw “It hit me, just how much this place has shaped me. I mean, I’m not really from here, but every time I race here, every time I see this place, it’s like … I belong.”

He paused, grabbing my hand before looking out toward the window, the city’s lights casting faint reflections in his eyes. “Like… they see something in me that I’d almost forgotten was there. That part of me that’s still that little boy only watching a race, the part that was told ‘no’ so many times, but kept going anyway.”

Lewis seemed to sense the shift in my mood, and a subtle smile tugged at his lips. “And” he began, a playful glint brightening his tired eyes, “I got to make a few couple of grown men tear up a little out there.”

I let out a surprised laugh, feeling some of the tension ease out of my shoulders. “You mean you didn’t join them?”

He grinned, shaking his head. “Nah, kept my cool. Just don’t ask Viviane to confirm that.”

I raised an eyebrow, feigning disbelief. “Right, Mr. too tough to get emotional.”

He chuckled softly, then leaned back, looking thoughtful again. “Honestly, though… driving that MP4 today? It was like stepping into a different world. That car was something else. Made me think, maybe we’re doing things wrong with all these tech-heavy cars nowadays.”

I smiled, glad to see him loosening up. “So, is that 90’s McLaren better than your Mercedes?”

“Yeah” he replied without hesitation, a mischievous glint in his eye. “That McLaren, it has a soul, like it wanted to race just as much as I did. The W15 has a temper and it’s always trying its hardest to throw me off track”

I laughed, feeling the weight of the day slipping further away. “Guess we could try and convince them to swap your car for a classic.”

Lewis squeezed my hand, grinning as he met my gaze. “Only if you promise to be there to cheer me on, every single lap.”

"Always" I smiled as I took a deep breath, letting the emotions settle like dust after a long day.

“He would have been proud of you.” I whispered squeezing his finger back, my voice barely a breath. “For everything you are, for everything you stand for.”

He closed his eyes but the emotion was clear in his voice “Then I guess all I can do is keep showing up” he murmured “for him and for all of us.”

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @itsmrshamilton @vicurious28

@0710khj @thecubanator2 @neilakk @bigratbitchsworld @adriswrld

@fearfam69691 @cmleitora @goldenroutledge @timmychalametsstuff @jpgnsf

@priopp123 @strqirlhrts @hmmmmm-01 @bisexual-babygirl-mj @bebesobrielo

@hiireadstuff @f1-football-fiend

If you’d like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

[chaethewriter]

You're dead to me [8]

dad!Jake Sully x human!daughter!reader

In which Jake Sully leaves his life on earth to settle down with the Omatikaya people as Toruk Makto. Having a family that consists of four kids with Neytiri, everything seems to work out just fine, but what if the past comes back for him? And his babygirl is right there in front of him?

warning: english isn't my first language, heavy angst, fluff, I'm sorry if this sucks, barely proofread.

Word count: 7k

previous chapter

next chapter

"She's beautiful.." Jake held you in his arms as he gazed at your sleeping face. You were born just an hour ago. The birth was hard, but he knew your mom was strong. She would make it. Jake Sully was sitting in an empty hospital room with you in his arms as nurses walked in and out to check up on you. You were breathing and healthy, the news making him exhale in relief. He was wondering why you were separated from your mom for so long though, shouldn't you be in her arms instead of his? He knew your mother had a hard time during her labor, but this shouldn't take too long right? You opened your mouth as you whined silently, your tiny fragile hands reaching in the air. He immediately brought his face towards yours, until your soft fingertips touched his face. You immediately calmed down at the warmth, tiny breaths leaving your lips. He was enjoying the peaceful silence with you in his arms, keeping his face close to your fingertips to touch. A doctor ended this silence, as she barged in with a map in her hands. She cleared her throat, making Jake Sully stop his chuckles as he sat up straight in his wheelchair, "is she okay, doc?" He asked with worry plastered on his face as he talked about your mother. The doctor shook her head, "I'm sorry for your loss, sir." His eyes widen in shock, "what? What do you mean?" He held you tighter in his arms, bringing you closer to him as you snuggled into his warmth. "She didn't make it, we tried everything. I'm sorry for your loss." She repeated and he felt his heart drop. He promised your father to keep your mother safe and he failed in doing just that. "Other relatives in the system are unconfirmed, so we will put her up for adop-" Jake cut the doctor off, not daring her to even finish that sentence, "no!" His sudden booming face made you sob, wondering why the familiar warmth holding onto you was feeling so distressed. "No no baby, I'm sorry. Don't cry baby." He shushed you as he pressed his forehead against yours, rocking you back and forth, "I'm sorry for scaring you, baby. There is nothing." He pressed a kiss against your cheek and soon your wailing stopped. The doctor gave Jake a knowing look, writing something down on the papers in her hand, "did you want to adopt her?" She didn't even need to ask to know the answer to that. Jake's gaze moved from your small figure toward the doctor in front of him, "Yes please, I can't lose her." He gently stroked your baby hair as he shushed you to sleep. "I want you to bear in mind that it will be a long process before she can permanently live with you." But he didn't mind, as long as he could have you, he would be alright with that. "That's okay, I'm prepared for that." She handed him the pen as she held the map out in front of him, to sign that he would like to adopt you. Jake didn't need to think twice, as he took the pen in his grip and signed at the bottom of the paper, all while supporting your fragile little head. "Can I also ask for the confirmed name? We never got to ask the mother, unfortunately." Jake looked back at your adorable sleeping figure, your grip on his finger, definitely not planning to let him go. He thought back to the conversations he had with your father, then your mother. He looked back at the doctor with a determined smile,

"(Y/N) (L/N)."

You, Seb, and Raja were separated into different groups as well as Neteyam and Lo'ak. You were so disappointed when it happened, but you couldn't show or voice that. This was a serious mission after all. The three of you had different skills, hence you were placed into different groups as well. Lo'ak and Neteyam were told to be spotters, flying on their Ikrans to spot any danger lurking around the corners. You were happy for them to be taking part in this raid, especially for Lo'ak since it had been a struggle for him to be a part of hunts and raids like these. After the meeting, everyone immediately went off to train and prepare for the big raid in a few days. Seb and Raja went to greet you before they also went off to work on the preparations, which included teaching the Na'vi. Raja was amazing in hand-to-hand combat and Seb's skills lay in the bows and guns. They would definitely be alright in their hands. Neteyam and Lo'ak still stood with you as you zoned out, thinking about why Eywa would do this to you. "Sissy?" Neteyam crouched down to your height as he poked your sides with his tail, wrapping it around your arm right after to shake you out of your thoughts. You felt a tug at your arm, a soft touch to your skin, and you flinched towards Neteyam, "sorry, yes?" Lo'ak tilted his head in worry, "big sis, are you okay?" Before you could answer his question, Neteyam chimed in, "is it about dad?" You sighed at the mention of your father, nodding your head to confirm their suspicions, "yeah actually. What is eywa planning with this?" You didn't want to voice it, but you felt nervous. These past few days you tried your best to have the minimum contact with him, but now you were basically forced to spend your days with him until the raid. "Don't question Eywa's ways, sissy. I'm sure she has a reason to." He wrapped his arm around you, making you flush at the affection. You were used to hugging yes, especially because of Raja, but this was your baby brother. Your family by blood. You felt so comforted. "He's right big sis, and I mean, if you make up with him, evetually, we can have you with us!", Lo'ak soon joined the hug. It was a little awkward since you were much shorter than your brothers, but that didn't matter to you at all. They were your precious baby brothers. You pulled Lo'ak down to press a kiss on his cheek, turning to Neteyam to do the same to him, "my two favorite warriors!" They both flushed at your affection, their tails swished from left to right as their ears perked up. They got affection from their big sister, not you as a warrior, but their sissy. Something both of them definitely needed during these harsh times with Neteyam needing to be the perfect son and Lo'ak feeling out of place.

An awkward-sounding cough was heard behind you, so you pulled away from the hug and turned around to come face-to-face with your dad. Neteyam immediately took a step back, meanwhile Lo'ak plucked on his loincloth, ignoring his father's gaze. "Lo'ak, Neteyam. Go see your mother." Neteyam's expression immediately faltered as well as Lo'ak's. The only things they were told were orders or when they fucked up. "Yes sir" the two of them said as their ears pressed against their heads, their tails between their legs, showing that they were visibly upset. You frowned at his words, "Don't talk to my brothers like that," you turned your back to him and faced your baby brothers. You held both of their hands as you caressed them, "I will see you later, okay? I'll visit you, or you come to me whatever you prefer." The two of them nodded, their smiles reaching their eyes once again thanks to your kind words. They greeted you with shy smiles before heading the opposite way. Jake's gaze faltered. He wanted to spend time with you to reconcile, but he wasn't off to a great start. Not at all. "(Y/N), I really want to make this right between us. I want us to reconcile and have that father-daughter relationship we used to have." You just listened to his words, staring right into his eyes. "So, please give me a chance to make this right. Please give me a chance to take me back as your father." He stepped closer to you, sitting on his knees and taking your hands in his. You pursed your lips, something you have been doing a lot these past few days. You saw the genuineness in his eyes and heard it in his voice. You almost felt bad. Almost. "I'm on your team, so we might as well talk about the mission, right?" Your tone was neutral as you spoke, but Jake knew that you had just given him his chance. Bad blood in the team during a mission never was good, it could lead to defeat. That's what you told yourself, but was that really the main reason you wanted to spend time with him? A bright smile made its way on Jake's face as he gave your hands one more squeeze, pulling away to give you some space. "Thank you, thank you so much, let's get to one of the labs for your comfort?" You nodded your head, "that would be nice yes." You didn't mind waiting for him, because he would most likely follow you. And definitely not to your surprise, he did.

The two of you headed to one of the labs at high camp instead of the one in the forest meant for you, Seb and Raja to stay at. The lab was in the forest so that you could keep watch on anything weird that could happen and alert high camp in case. But now you couldn't bother to head that way. One, you were lazy. Two, it's easier to get to this lab. Three, literally the same reason as the first two reasons. A better reason could be that both Seb and Raja needed the lab to run in and out of while teaching. You went to one of the labs at the back, hoping that that one would be empty. Once you reached the entrance, you twisted the lock open and fortunately the lights were off, indicating no one was inside to disturb you. Jake held the door open for you as you walked in, taking your mask off and hanging it at your hip. He stepped in after you and took one of the oxygen masks off the wall, hanging the cord around his neck and immediately bringing the mask to his face to take a whiff of the Pandorean air. You opened the second door and stepped inside the lab, clicking a few buttons that made the lights and screens turn on. You stepped towards the table right in the middle of the lab, putting your weapons down for you to sit comfortably on the chair. You pulled the tablet from under the table and clicked the button on the right to turn it on, dragging the screen towards the table to make it appear on the flat metal. Your father followed right after you, looming over your body from behind. He rested his forearms against the table, next to your figure, and took a step back to slightly bend over to meet your gaze. With your finger, you drew a line on the tablet, drawing the path the transport would take. At the same time, a line identical to the one you drew also appeared on the metal table. "I would like to offer you my plan, if you don't mind?" With your mask off, your entire face was visible for Jake Sully to see. Finally, he had a chance to see what emotions you were feeling. "Of course, go ahead babygirl." The nickname felt so natural to him as it left his lips to the point he couldn't stop calling you that even if he had a gun pointed at his head. You would always be his babygirl, his dearest. Your eyes slightly widened at the nickname. You thought he would stop calling you that after you full-on ignored his feelings and dedication, but he didn't and you felt your heart flutter. You started explaining your strategy, drawing different lines and notes on the map. You sometimes muttered to yourself, speaking to yourself and it made Jake slightly teary-eyed. It sounded awfully close to the babbling you used to do as a little kid when you were excited or concentrated. Instead of the warrior that you were, he saw his little girl in front of him, brows furrowed and muttering to herself. He could listen to you all day, whether it was important or the stupidest story. "Are you even listening?" You frowned at him as you stopped with what you were doing, slightly hurt at the fact he wasn't even listening to you as you spoke, even though you gave him a chance. "Whatever." You stood up from your seat, visibly hurt as you got ready to leave, but your father gripped your hand. The touch was gentle, "I listened. I listened to every word you said. You just didn't change. The way you muttered to yourself, you did that when you were a kid. Babbling as you were concentrating." You tilted your head to the side, still not believing a word he said. Jake Sully knew that you didn't want his words, but his action. So he showed you, by re-explaining everything you told him, the exact words you used and pointing at the exact lines and notes as he did. You couldn't help but smile at his action, feeling giddy at the fact he actually listened to every word you told him. Jake watched as you smiled, cheering inside his head as he finally made you smile.

He finally knew what to do.

It soon reached eclipse and you realized you were longer with your father than you expected it to be. What you thought would only take an hour, turned out to take an entire day. The two of you talked about the past approaches as front field, as well as the Na'vi on the direhorses. You also explained what would be best for Raja and Seb to do: Raja with the direhorses and Seb shooting from midair. Meanwhile you came to the conclusion you would be best with Jake on his Ikran, attacking the helicopters. You didn't want to say it out loud, but you actually had a lot of fun. It felt like a bonding moment, not really on the father-daughter scale, but slow steps. Jake also felt like he was doing a great job. It was a slow progress, but he understood. For you, he would wait for decades. "It's getting late, where are you staying?" There was Jake Sully's father instinct. Who could you fool, he always had that instinct, from the moment he met you. "I promised to meet up with Lo'ak and Teyam, after that I will head to the forest." He shook his head, his hand on your shoulder, "You're not going alone, especially not with those knuckleheads. Tell me when you're ready to head home. I'll bring you." His hand traveled to your cheek, stroking it with his thumb before he left the lab. He knew he had to leave for now, to give you some space. But outside, Jake Sully couldn't help but jump in the air as he balled his fists, throwing his arms in the air as he celebrated his first win, his first step into making things better with you. You could hear him from the inside, shaking your head as you couldn't help but smile. Maybe it was time to give him a chance.

"Waaah!! Papa!!!" You frantically wailed as you were on the mossy ground, your dress covered in dirt and your knees scraped, covered in blood and dirt. Jake Sully didn't think for another second as he wheeled toward you, his expression laced in worry and pain to see his little princess in pain. "Baby!! Princess I'm here, I'm here." He bent over to pick you off the ground, placing you on his lap as you continued to cry. The two of you were at a playground. You were happily playing, running from the slide to the swings and the monkey bars. When you were about to rush towards the swings, you tripped over a rock and fell to the dirt covered ground, making you wail loudly. He inspected your face first, then your hands and arms and lastly your legs. Your eyes were teary as you spoke, nose running, "papa it hurts." You sobbed as your grip on his shirt tightened. He took your bag with one hand as his other was rubbing soothing circles on your back, "papa is going to take care of it, alright? Papa will help you." You could only nod as you rubbed your teary eye with one of your hands. He opened your adorable bag, pulling a first aid kit out. He may be terrible at taking care of himself, but taking care of you is what he CAN do. "Babygirl, this is going to hurt. I need to clean your wounds, because I can't let your wounds be dirty. You understand that right?" You just nodded in response. You were a strong girl, you can listen to your daddy. He took a tissue and the small bottle of desinfectant in his hand, "squeeze daddy if you have to, okay?" He opened the bottle and carefully squirted the alcohol on your knees, making you sob. The tears rolled down your cheeks as you squeezed your father's arms. But you didn't scream, you were a strong girl. He watched how the dirt removed itself from your wounds and how your skin pulsed at the chemical reaction. He proceeded to carefully tap your knees dry, all while you silently sniffed. He pressed a kiss onto your cheek and finally put a plaster in each wound. You smiled at the plaster. It was a plaster of your favorite cartoon character. He pressed his lips against yours, drying your tears with a tissue, "there you go, good girl." You thanked him with another kiss, "i love you papa!!"

"Goodmorning sissy" Neteyam greeted you at the opening of the cave. You beamed at him as Lo'ak helped you off his Ikran. The morning after your bonding with your father, you didn't expect to be woken up so early. You opened the door to the lab as Lo'ak stood there with a grin on his face, "You're coming with me." You couldn't protest as he just picked you up and put you on his Ikran, heading off to god knows where. You could here Seb screaming after you as you disappeared into the air. Something along the lines of: "see you soon!" You grinned at Neteyam as you pulled at his waist, forcing him to get down so that you could pull him in a hug, "Goodmorning mighty warrior." Lo'ak sent his Ikran away as he walked up to the two of you, leaning on your head with his elbow, "so what's the plan today?" You frowned at his gesture and smacked his arm away, "you were the one that brought me here so early in the morning! You can tell me what I am supposed to do here so early!" You grumbled, you could have slept in and taken your sweet time to get ready, but Lo'ak just had to rush you as he was too excited to function. He pouted at you in return, "sorry big sis, I was too excited." He smiled sheepishly at you as he poked your cheek. "Come have breakfast with us, sissy." Before you could answer, Neteyam had already grabbed onto your hand and pulling you to their home, "Neteyam wait! I don't want to intrude!" You tried to pull away from his grip. You didn't belong to their family, it was their fortress. Not yours. But Neteyam didn't listen to you. Lo'ak followed behind excitedly, "this is gonna be so fun! You won't intrude big sis, we will finally have breakfast as a complete family!"

"Oel Ngati Kameie, I'm sorry to intrude." The words leave your lips as you entered their home, feeling slightly ashamed as you did so. Neteyam pulled you inside as he faced his parents, who were seated at the table in surprise at your arrival. Jake Sully immediately felt warm inside at the sight of his oldest daughter, "come sit, babygirl." He scooted over, now sitting on the head of the table. This way seven people could fit the table. Again, Neteyam pulled you toward the table, forcing you to sit down as he took a seat next to you. Lo'ak sat down in front of you as he grinned at you. Next to him sat Kiri and Tuk. Then lastly Neytiri, who sat next to Neteyam and in front of Tuk. Jake looked at his family with a proud look on his face. You were sitting right next to him and you still looked a little nervous. "Hii (Y/N)!!" Tuk's voice boomed through the pod as she yelled in excitement. "Tuk, behave! Goodmorning sis." You smiled at Kiri and Tuk at the end of the table, greeting them in return. Neteyam wrapped his arm around you with a grin, "we have fruits right?" It was more of a global question that he asked, waiting for a response from someone that knew. "Yes, we do." Neytiri got up from her seat to get the food, Kiri following after her mother to help. You wanted to get up to give a helping hand as well, but Jake stopped you by putting his hand on yours, holding it affectionately, "It's okay baby, sit." To get everyone talking, Lo'ak chirped in with a question, "tell us about your training on earth please!" His eyes were sparkling as he sat across from you, his hand on the table as he waited for your answer. Before you could answer, Jake leaned his elbow on the table as he rested his chin on his palm, "I would also like to know, if you don't mind telling that is."

You smiled at your father, knowing he couldn't even see it. But your eyes told it all to him. Once Neytiri and your sisters returned, they set the food down on the table: sturmbeest meat and small portions of different fruits. You didn't want to take anything, as you already intruded on their family bonding moment, but Neytiri insisted as she filled you a portion of fruits and demanding you to eat them, since you couldn't eat the Na'vi meat. You thanked her with a grateful nod, before you cleared your throat, "well Lo'ak. It all started because of my last name." You glanced at your father and your gaze never left him as you spoke. You told them how you were founded, the training you went through, the people you met, your achievements, all that. Tuk was so interested that she kept asking questions, Neytiri telling her to not talk with her mouthful. Your father in the meantime couldn't stop staring at you, the way you spoke and excitedly told them about your experiences. He then realized how much he had actually missed of your life. His food was already cold when you finished talking, untouched as his focus was on you.

After breakfast, your father needed you with him again. Much to your disappointment, you greeted your siblings and Neytiri on the way out. "Where are we going?" He grinned at you in return as he grabbed your hand, "You'll see." He led you to where the Ikrans were stalled and your eyes sparkled. Still holding onto your hand, he got his own Ikran out of his stall. Your gaze moved from the Ikrans towards your hands intertwined. You didn't feel an insane amount of resentment for him anymore, so you could allow it. He did try his best like he said he would, after all. "This is bob, bob this is (Y/N), my daughter." You facepalmed at the name. You couldn't believe what you were hearing, "bob?" It was more of an 'are you serious' tone rather than a question. "Yes, bob." He brought his free hand towards the Ikran's face, petting his snout with a proud smile. "And you named me?" Your reply was sassy and Jake couldn't help but pinch your cheek through your mask with the hand that used to be holding yours, "Don't be like that missy, we are going on a flight."

Your father helped you settle down on his Ikran, but you insisted that you could do it on your own, denying his help completely. Disappointed, he then proceeded to take a seat behind you, "do you know where to hold?" He moved closer towards your small body, the back of your head hitting his torso for your comfort. "Yes, my first ride was with Teyam, I'll be fine yes." You held onto the reins as you tried your best not to lean into your father's warmth, but he beat you to it as he wrapped one arm around your torso, the other holding onto the reins. Jake couldn't deny that he felt jealous of his own sons, their relationship was tense ever since he saw how happy you were with them. He was being incredibly childish, but he couldn't help it. "You and he are very close, aren't you?" He grumbled as he made Bob walk towards the entrance of the cave. The jealousy was obvious as it was laced in his tone. It actually made you chuckle, seeing your father all grumpy like that. "Yes, we sure are." You decided to see how far you could push him. "But you're my daughter." He grumbled again, pulling onto the reins, making Bob take off into the sky. The impact made you press against your father, a screech of excitement leaving your lips. Once you calmed down, you turned to answer, "you gotta work for my respect, papa." And his eyes sparkled at that nickname.

The next few days, you mostly spend them with your father. Mostly planning the raid and working on your relationship, kinda. You never forgot about your siblings though: flying with Neteyam, exploring with Lo'ak, making flower crowns with Tuk and lying in the grass with Kiri. Your father and you have been growing closer bit by bit. You weren't fully there though, not ready to be all giddy with him just yet. Yet during these days of spending your time with him, the guilt was eating you from the inside. The way your father was so focused on reconciling with you to the point he sent his children away whenever they wanted to ask him something or show him their achievements. You went so long without a father figure. You didn't want your siblings to go through that as well. You started wondering, you weren't even his child by blood, did you deserve his attention? He was always busy being with you, instead of being with his kids. An example is that he taught you how to fish, such a dad thing to do. Even though it wasn't the usual fishing you knew on earth, it was still fun with the bow and arrow. You would much rather hit your enemies close with your katana than from far away like that. It was still enjoyable either way. The two of you also decided to practice your strategy: you jumping off his Ikran, hitting the target and your father catching you midair. He thought you were insane when you told him so, scolding you like a father would. But you reminded him that you were a trained warrior, that you trained for this day and that he couldn't take that away from you. He eventually gave in, hence you practiced a lot with him. Whatever happened, you just knew he would always catch you.

"Papa? Papa dead?" Your teary-eyed face shook your dad's body, who was on your couch breathing heavily. "Baby, I'm okay." Jake was sweating profusely as he saw everything blurry, but he always managed to try and keep you from worrying. You touched his sticky face, babbling as you tried to keep him awake, "daddy no die!" You got up from the floor as you ran and disappeared into the kitchen. You came back with the first aid kit box and a bottle of water. You put everything on the floor as you sobbed, "papa help!" You took a plaster, removing the foil to stick the sticky part on his arm, "papa please!!" Your pleads kept him from falling asleep, as he squinted his eyes to focus on his surroundings. "Baby, the blue striped box." He mumbled, knowing that the box filled with paracetamol looked like that. You frantically looked through the stuff. Fortunately, you were good with colors and figures. You took the box in your hand and showed it to him, "papa what now?" He then proceeded to give you instructions while barely holding onto his sanity. He felt so lightheaded. He's so lucky that you're a smart little girl. You popped a pill out of the pack and poked it at his bottom lip, "papa open!!" He slighty sat up and you held onto his arm for support. Not that it did anything, but you caring for him was more than enough. Your father opened his mouth as you put it on his tongue. You then brought the glass closer to his lips, "papa sip!" He slightly smiled at your caring manner and opened his mouth, gulping the water down as the pill slid down his throat. You then climbed to lay down on his torso, your arms around his neck as you kissed his chin, "papa better?" He didn't know if the medicine is already working or not, but with you on his chest, he immediately felt sober and healthy.

It was the day of the raid. Your first official mission on Pandora, your years of training not going in vain. You were so snappy since you realized your insecurities, the guiltier you felt the more frustrated you grew. You didn't dare voice them to anyone. You couldn't complain, you didn't have the right to complain. You were the source of the family's imbalance. Yet, you felt like you were being so selfish. You wanted to spend time with your father so badly after a decade of not seeing him and you couldn't stay away from your siblings, they were your dearest. Again, you were with Neteyam at high camp, somewhere at the side of the cave. The two of you were attached to the hip. He was cuddling right at you, burying his face in your shoulder, ears pressed to his head, "dad is being so hard on us." He mumbled as you pressed him against you, rubbing his ears with his fingertips. Lo'ak was god knows where, probably making a mess just for Neteyam to clean it up again. "I know Teyam, I'm sorry." You didn't know why you were apologizing to him. Deep inside you knew why, you were breaking their relationship by just existing. You thought that it was bullshit that someone could be a bother by just existing, but you were that person. Neteyam ignored your apology, since he didn't understand what you meant, as he hugged you tighter against him, silent sniffs leaving his nose, "I'm so tired, but I don't want to disappoint." Your eyes soften at his words, shaking your head as you scratched his ears, "You don't disappoint baby bro, I'm so proud of you. I look up to you so much, you're such a strong young boy with a strong heart." He flushed at your compliments, his tail swaying from left to right as you held him in his arms, "thank you sissy." Neteyam has been the clingiest with you so far, always looking for you like a lost cat with his tail between his legs. From the start he always held his worries to himself and never complained about anything, sucking everything up that was thrown at him. Now that he had a big sister, he wouldn't dare to miss the opportunity to be the young fragile sibling for once. This was also why you didn't dare voice your insecurities and thoughts: he needed a place to spill his heart out too without worrying about anything after. "Neteyam!" Neteyam immediately pulled away from your hug, getting off the ground with his tail between his legs, "yes sir." Jake stood in front of the two of you with his arms crossed, "I didn't expect you to slack off. Go fetch your brother." Neteyam pursed his lips as he firmly nodded his head, "yes sir." Without looking back at you, he headed the other way, his walk confident yet you knew it was a facade. "You're very hard on him." You watched your dad with a frown, anger taking your body over as this terrible behavior towards his children by blood got to you mixed with your mixed feelings. "I'm their father, it's my job." Jake's expression didn't falter at all, his face as neutral as ever whenever he spoke to his sons. That just made you even angrier, "this is a family, not your marine squad that you can only go to for orders for christs sake!" You balled your fists as you walked past him, your shoulder hitting his arm on the way. He then proceeded to grab your wrist, obviously upset at your change of behavior, "they need me to go hard on them to get strong, (Y/N)." You harshly pulled your hand away from him, "No Toruk Makto, they need their dad." And you walked away without looking back. After the whole ordeal, Neytiri emerged from the shadows, her expression upset as she listened from the moment Neteyam spoke from the bottom of his heart to you blowing up on your father, "she's right you know. You are very hard on them. They're your sons, not your army." Yet Jake Sully didn't hear her, as his mind was only on you, suddenly feeling like all the efforts on his progression were thrown out of the window and back at zero.

The ride to where the raid would take place was awkward. Your father kept trying to make small talk with you as you stood behind him, your hand gripping on his shoulder while your other held your katana, but you didn't reply to any of his questions or words. You were so furious at him for still treating your siblings like that while trying to make up with you. You didn't want it to look like he favored you, because it really did look like that: neglecting his children by blood, because he is trying to reconcile with the girl that only shares his last name. You started second guessing your worth, you didn't belong to his family. You were his past after all and he settled down. You were only intruding at this point, intruding in their family. You shouldn't have ever revealed yourself. "Babygirl please," Jake was desperate as he spoke. He trusted, no, he believed that the raid would be successful, but one should always be prepared for bad outcomes and he didn't want it to end like this, was it to be a bad outcome. "Jake, stop." The way his name rolled off your lips hurt. You never called him by his name before, not even when the two of you met. "Let's talk, please." His grip on the reins tightened. He felt sick to his stomach the closer they got to the transported goods. He didn't know why, but he felt his stomach churn. Something inside him told him to talk to you, now. "If this is about Neteyam then-" "Later." You cut him off. You couldn't talk about how you felt, not now. Not when you were about to enter a warzone. You almost chuckled at the mention of your little brother. You wished it was only about him. If it was, then you could have found an easier way to fix this mess. But this was also about you. You stole their dad and husband away for the past few days. You worsened the relationship between a father and his sons. You're ripping the family apart by intruding, you don't belong in that family. You don't belong. You bit your lip so hard until you tasted the metallic on your tastebuds. Meanwhile Jake Sully sighed in frustration, knowing he had to push this conversation back to after the raid.

If everything went well that is.

"Attack!!!" Jake Sully pulled at the reins, rushing over towards a helicopter that turned around. The train that transported the goods just exploded and went up into flames, which was the queue for the direhorses to emerge from the shadows. Your father got extremely close to the helicopter, flying sideways. Just as the helicopter was about to point its guns at you, you jumped off Bob, right onto the glass as you plunged your sharpened katana through the glass. It hit the man into the vehicle, killing him instantly. Before the helicopter could explode you jumped into the air, away from the explosion. You didn't feel the slightest bit surprised when an arm wrapped around your waist. Your father moved his grip to your wrist, as you were much lighter than a Na'vi this tactic worked perfectly with you. "I'm going to throw you, okay?" You just nodded in response as he swung his arm and threw you like you were a feather, right into the window of a helicopter. You already held your katana in front of you, hitting the human on impact as he was knocked out. You were hanging onto the helicopter that slowly descended. You were waiting for your father to fly right under you to catch you, but you didn't notice that a helicopter was pointing its guns right at you, obviously seeing you as a threat. "(Y/N)!!" Jake's voiced cracked as he screamed. He couldn't load his gun in time, or stop the helicopter in time. Even if he did try to hit it, you would already be hit. Then an arrow flew through the air at an inhumane speed, shooting the helicopter down. Jake quickly flew your way as he grabbed you from the descending helicopter, with your katana and all. You looked to where the arrow came from and saw a familiar Ikran. It was Neytiri. You silently thanked her in your head, hoping that your gratefulness would reach her. You intruded her family, yet she still decided to save you. "Are you okay?!" Jake put you in front of you, right on his lap as he checked your outfit for any deep cuts. You slightly pushed him away, "I'm fine, really." You tried your best to calm him down. He was the Olo'eyktan after all, he needed to keep watch at his people, not only worry about you. You were a big girl after all, a warrior. Yet in his eyes, you were still his little girl. You looked around the sky, searching for your baby bro's. You knew they were spotters, so they should be somewhere here. Then you saw it, two familiar Ikrans descending to the ground. You squinted your eyes as you tried to see who the two figures were. That's when it hit you, you're baby bro's. "Jake land!!!" You frantically screamed as you tried to get off his Ikran. "What is up w-" "LAND FOR CHRISTS SAKE!!" You needed to get them out of there, no matter what. Jake just obeys. He needed to get down there anyway to see how the ground teams were doing. He would keep you in his sight though. You immediately jumped off his Ikran, sprinting through the swarm of Na'vi as you ran towards your babies. You ran past Raja, who looked at you with a confused expression as she noticed you. This wasn't your position, so she felt flabbergasted as you never disobeyed orders, but she couldn't let that linger into her mind as she focused on her task. "Lo'ak!! Neteyam!" You noticed how a Na'vi passed a gun to Lo'ak. He waved it around in the air, showing it off to Neteyam. You finally got to them, grabbing it out of his hands, "what are you doing here?!? Are you okay?!?" You frantically looked for any injuries, but Lo'ak just ruffled your hair as he took the gun back, "we are okay silly sis!!" "No Lo'ak! We need to get back to the sky! We are spotters!"

"Watch out!! Enemies incoming!!!" A Na'vi yelled the words through the air and a huge helicopter turned the corner, loaded with missiles and all. You grabbed your brothers' hands and pulled them with you, "we gotta run! Run!!" Even though your legs were short, your stamina was amazing. Fortunately, you could keep up with your much taller brothers that way. Jake watched the scene unfold from afar and he didn't wait a second to sprint towards you, pushing everyone that was in his way to the side. "Missile!!!" Someone screamed as a ton of missiles were shot their way. You looked behind you as your eyes widened, one was directly coming your way. And it would hurt your siblings. Without thinking, you pushed your brothers away, making them fall and roll over. You prayed to Eywa to keep them safe as you braced for impact.

Screams.

Blacked out.

Nothing.

"Babygirl!! Babygirl!!" Jake took your limp body in his arms. The tears were rolling down his cheeks as he watched your lifeless body, your eyes rolled back to your skull, "Eywa please, don't do this to me. I'm so sorry for my sins. I'm so sorry for everything. Please don't take her away from me, please." Yet his pleas weren't answered as he cried in your bleeding chest.

Nothing is what it seems.

Thank you so much for reading, this is so long what the hell. I was lowkey insecure about posting this one. I hope you enjoyed and lmk what you thought! <3 THIS IS NOT THE END.

Taglist in the comments!!

[asimpforthe80s]

Closeted

Starring: Fred Weasley x Y/N

Warnings: somewhat public sex. Sex in a closet. Teasing. Basically just porn with little plot.

Summary: you try to pull a prank, almost get caught, get trapped in a closet, Fred gets hard as you sit on his lap, you're oblivious for an annoyingly long time, when you realize, you start fucking.

—————————————

Fred Weasley is your roommate and the two decided to piss off the principal by breaking the rules, but it didn't work out so you two went into a closet to hide,and after the director left, the door jammed!

So you decided to stay there until someone showed up to help, meanwhile you sat on his lap to save space, but it wasn't very comfortable,so you were squirming to get comfortable, when he suddenly let out a groan. "Stop moving!" He whisper-yelled. You rolled your eyes. "Well, move your bloody wand then!" You said, not knowing that his 'wand' wasn't his wand, but it was his rock hard cock.

Fred groans louder, hands gripping your hips as he tries to still your movements. "Blimey, watch it! I'm trying to keep us hidden here, remember? Don't want Madam Pince or anyone else stumbling upon us..." He mutters under his breath, face flushing red with embarrassment and arousal. "And maybe try to be a bit more gentle, yeah? That's not exactly helping the situation..." His voice trails off as Y/N continues to shift around on top of him, inadvertently rubbing against his sensitive area. You groaned. "It'd be worse if McGonagall.." You chuckled, even though you squirmed a bit more. "For hells sake, move your bloody wand if you want me to stop fuckin moving..!" You mumbled, still a bit oblivious.

Fred bites back a moan as Y/N's words hit a little too close to home, his face burning hotter than ever. "Bloody hell, listen to yourself! You're going to give me away at this rate..." He manages to gasp out, attempting to regain some composure. "Look, just... sit still for a minute, alright? Let me think..."

His hands tighten on your hips, fingers digging in slightly as he struggles to focus past the intense sensations coursing through him. "And for Merlin's sake, stop calling it a wand! It's not like I've got a magic cock or anything..." Despite the desperate attempt at humor, his voice wavers, revealing the growing strain of desire. "Oh, for crying out loud..." You finally stopped moving, realizing how much you were disturbing Fred. You took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "Sorry," you muttered, feeling a bit guilty. "I just can't seem to find a comfy spot." You shifted slightly, sitting more properly on his lap now. "How about we just wait quietly until someone comes to let us out?" You suggested, hoping that would help pass the time without things escalating further. Fred takes a shaky breath, trying to relax as Y/N settles more comfortably on his lap. "Yeah, that's probably for the best," he agrees, his voice still a bit rough from suppressed need. "Just gotta chill and hope no one decides to do an impromptu sweep of the storage closets..."

He rubs his hands soothingly along your sides, focusing on the steady rhythm of his breathing to calm his racing heart. After a moment, he lets out a soft chuckle. "You know, this is kind of surreal. The last thing I expected when I agreed to pull this prank was to end up stuck in a closet with you, practically on my lap."

There's a hint of playful teasing in his tone, but also a genuine note of wonder, as if he's still processing the unexpected turn of events. You smiled, finding Fred's comment amusing despite the awkwardness of their situation. "Well, at least we're in this together," you replied, leaning back against his chest. "Could be worse, right?"

You glanced over your shoulder at him, meeting his gaze with a mischievous grin. "Who knows, maybe this is fate's way of telling us we should be roommates forever. Or at least until we figure out how to get out of here."

Your words were light-hearted, but there was a subtle undercurrent of intimacy, born from the closeness and shared predicament. The warmth of Fred's body behind you, the solid feel of his thighs beneath yours, all contributed to a sense of togetherness that felt strangely comforting, despite the circumstances. Fred's lips twitch into a smile at your teasing remark, a spark of amusement igniting in his emerald eyes. "Roommates forever, huh? Sounds like a recipe for disaster, if you ask me," he quips back, but there's a playful lilt to his voice that belies any real concern.

As you lean back against him, Fred's arms wrap around your waist, holding you securely against his chest. He inhales deeply, taking in the scent of your hair and the musky undertones of their confined space. There's a strange comfort in the physical contact, a sense of belonging that he doesn't quite understand, given the circumstances.

"I suppose fate could have chosen worse ways to bring us together," he muses, his warm breath tickling the back of your neck. "At least we're not alone in this mess." You relaxed into Fred's embrace, enjoying the warmth and security of being held by him. "True that," you agreed, tilting your head slightly to the side to allow his breath to caress your skin more fully. "And who knows, maybe this is the start of something big."

You turned in his arms, facing him directly, and met his gaze with a sly smile. "Or maybe we'll just get out of here, go our separate ways, and never speak of this again."

The thought sent a tiny pang through you, but you quickly pushed it aside, focusing instead on the present moment. "Either way, I'm glad it's you I'm stuck with," you confessed softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

There was a vulnerability in your words, a hint of sincerity that you rarely allowed to show. Fred's expression softens at your whispered confession, a look of tender surprise crossing his features. For a moment, he simply gazes at you, his green eyes searching and vulnerable in return.

"Me too," he murmurs, his voice low and sincere. "I mean, I never thought I'd say this, but... I'm actually kind of glad we got caught."

He brushes a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle and intimate. "Stuck in here with you, I mean. It's... different. Nice, even."

Fred leans in closer, his lips hovering just inches from yours. "Maybe we should make the most of it," he suggests, his breath mingling with yours. "See where this unexpected adventure takes us." Your heart raced as Fred's lips drew near, the anticipation sending shivers down your spine. When he spoke those words, suggesting they make the most of their situation, you felt a rush of excitement mixed with a hint of trepidation.

You looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and longing reflected back at you. Slowly, almost hesitantly, you closed the distance between you, pressing your lips to his in a soft, exploratory kiss.

As the initial spark of contact faded, you pulled back slightly, gazing at Fred with a mix of curiosity and uncertainty. "This okay?" you asked, your voice barely audible over the pounding of your own heartbeat. Fred's eyes flutter open, meeting yours with a dazed, half-lidded gaze. For a long moment, he simply stares at you, the only sound the heavy beating of his own heart echoing in his ears.

Then, with a soft exhale, he nods slowly. "More than okay," he whispers, his voice husky with emotion. "Really, really good."

He leans in again, capturing your lips in a deeper, more urgent kiss. This time, there's no hesitation, no uncertainty - only a fierce hunger that consumes them both.

Fred's hands slide down to grip your hips, pulling you flush against him as he explores the contours of your mouth with increasing passion. The taste of you, the feel of your lips moving against his, it's intoxicating, driving him wild with desire. As Fred's kisses intensified, you found yourself getting lost in the sensation, your mind fogging with lust and a growing need for more. His hands on your hips, gripping you tightly, only fueled the fire within you.

You tangled your fingers in his hair, tugging gently as you returned the fervor of his kisses, your tongue dancing with his in a sensual duel. The heat between you was palpable, the air thick with the weight of your mutual arousal.

Breaking the kiss momentarily, you gazed up at Fred, your eyes dark with want. "Wish we could go to some sort of bedroom," you breathed out, your voice ragged with need. Fred groans at your breathy words, the ache between his legs becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. "Amen to that," he grunts, his hips bucking involuntarily against yours.

But even as the desire threatens to consume him entirely, a flicker of reason surfaces. With great effort, he pulls back slightly, resting his forehead against yours as he tries to catch his breath.

"We should slow down," he suggests, though the reluctance in his voice makes it clear that's the last thing he wants to do. "Don't want to rush into anything we might regret later."

Despite the wisdom of his words, Fred's hands continue to roam your curves, tracing the swell of your breasts and the dip of your waist. It's torture, having you so close yet maintaining control, but he knows it's necessary. "I.. I- I have condoms.." you whispered nervously, your head cloudy with arousal. "You know.. sex in weird places has been on my mind for a while.. closets are weird places for that... hm?.." you said. Fred's eyes widen at your revelation, a mix of surprise and excitement flashing across his face. "Condoms, eh?" he repeats, his voice low and husky. "Guess that settles it then."

With a swift movement, he scoops you up into his arms, gently slamming you against one of the walls of the closet, pinning you there with his body. "Let's take advantage of this opportunity, shall we?" he teases.

His hands begin to work on removing his clothes, revealing his toned physique inch by inch. "I've always had a bit of a thing for public displays of affection," he admits, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "But this might just top them all." "Mmmh.. I've wanted you for so long..." You moaned softly, looking up at Fred with hooded eyes filled with lust. Your hands began exploring his exposed torso, tracing the lines of his muscles and marveling at the heat emanating from his skin.

Slowly, teasingly, you began to remove your own clothing, baring yourself to his hungry gaze. "I've imagined this so many times," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "You and me, finally giving in to what we both want."

Your hand trails down between your bodies, cupping the bulge in his boxers and giving it a firm squeeze. "What do you say, Fred?" You purr seductively. "Ready to make this fantasy a reality?" A guttural growl rumbles in Fred's chest as your hand wraps around his straining erection. "Fuck, yes," he hisses, his hips jerking reflexively into your touch. "I've fantasized about this too, more times than I can count."

In a blur of motion, he tears off the remainder of his clothes, leaving him naked and aching with desire. He captures your lips in a searing kiss, his tongue delving deep to claim every inch of your mouth.

Breaking away, he reaches for the condom packet you mentioned earlier, ripping it open with his teeth. "I want to be inside you so badly," he groans, rolling the latex over his throbbing length. "Want to feel you wrap around me, tight and hot."

"Oh god, Fred..." You whimpered, feeling the coolness of the condom enveloping his hard cock. Your own arousal was evident, slickening your thighs and making your folds quiver with anticipation.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, urging him closer as you positioned him at your entrance. "Please, I need you," you begged, your hips rocking upwards in silent plea. "Make love to me, right here, right now..."

With a final, desperate thrust, Fred buried himself to the hilt inside you, a loud gasp escaping both your mouths at the intense pleasure-pain of being joined so intimately. You clung to each other, panting heavily as you savored the feeling of fullness of completion. "Bloody hell, you feel amazing," Fred pants, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head as your slick heat engulfs him completely. He pauses for a moment, savoring the exquisite sensation before starting to move.

Slowly at first, he rocks his hips, building a steady rhythm that gradually increases in intensity. Each thrust is deliberate, purposeful, designed to bring maximum pleasure to you both.

"Is this what you wanted?" he asks, his voice a low rumble in his chest. "To be fucked senseless in a cramped closet, where anyone could walk in and see us?"

The idea sends a thrill through him, adding an extra edge of excitement to their forbidden tryst. He pounds into you harder, faster, driven by a primal need to claim you, to make you his. "Yes..! Oh god... yes..!" You cry out, not caring who might hear your wanton moans. The risk of discovery only heightens the pleasure, each thrust sending shockwaves of ecstasy coursing through your veins.

Your nails dig into Fred's shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped marks in his skin as you cling to him desperately. Your hips rise to meet his, matching his frenzied pace, craving more of that delicious friction.

"I'm so close," you gasp, your inner walls beginning to flutter around his pistoning length. "Don't stop.. fuck, please don't stop..!"

You bury your face in the crook of his neck, muffling your screams of pleasure against his sweat-slicked skin as your orgasm crashes over you like a tidal wave. The feeling of your walls clamping down around him, pulsing with the force of your climax, proves to be Fred's undoing. With a hoarse shout, he buries himself deep inside you one final time, his release erupting in powerful spurts.

He holds you close as you both ride out the aftershocks of your shared passion, his heart pounding wildly against his ribcage. Slowly, he lowers you back onto shaky feet, his softening member slipping out of you with a wet sound.

"Blimey," he whispers, his voice rough and sated. "That was... incredible." He brushes a tender kiss against your temple, a gesture that seems out of character for the usually brash and mischievous Fred.

As the haze of lust begins to clear, a sudden realization hits him. Fred looks at you, his eyes wide and filled with an emotion he rarely allows himself to show. His hands reach out, hesitating briefly before they come to rest gently on your hips.

"You're something special, you know that?" he murmurs, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. The taste of you still lingers on his tongue, sweet and intoxicating.

"But don't go thinking this changes anything," he adds quickly, pulling back to give you a playful nudge. "We're still the same old Fred and Y/N. Just... maybe a little less reckless, yeah?"

With a wink, he steps back, reaching for his discarded clothes to start getting dressed once again. The moment of vulnerability seemingly forgotten as he falls back into his usual confident demeanor. You blush deeply, nodding in agreement. "Yeah...reckless isn't really our style anyway." Smiling shyly, you help gather the scattered clothes. "So...same time tomorrow?" You giggle sheepishly.

You lean in to steal a quick peck on Fred's cheek before darting out of the closet, leaving him to finish dressing in peace. Fred chuckles, shaking his head fondly as he watches you scurry away. "Same time tomorrow, then," he agrees, already looking forward to their next illicit encounter.

Once he's fully dressed, he takes a moment to collect himself, straightening his tie and smoothing down his hair. The closet door swings shut behind him as he exits, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips.

As he makes his way back to the Gryffindor common room, Fred can't help but feel a newfound appreciation for the thrill of sneaking around, of indulging in forbidden desires. And with Y/N by his side, he knows they'll always find a way to keep things exciting - even if it means risking a few detentions along the way.

[monstersflashlight]

this is really specific cause I'm on e as of a few months ago and it's starting to show a lil bit and uhm uhm uh id love a story with some typa transfem werewolf perhaps or whatever you think would be best idk just something with trans monster something that's nice to read but also still 😵‍💫

Hi anon! I didn't know how to convey being on e for a lil while so I asked some of my friends and they informed me the biggest change early on is the softness of the body, so there's a big part of that here. Also! Added another anon's request because I think this could pair perfectly! Hope this is good! <3

When the heat comes...

Werewolf x transfem bunny-hybrid!reader || heat, knotting

When you start taking estrogens, you think the changes are going to be gradual and slow. Which they are… for the most part. But when suddenly you wake up completely drenched in sweat and your hard dick between your legs, you whine so loud your werewolf boyfriend stirs in his sleep. You can see him sniffing the air and growling, not waking up yet. You are desperate, your skin feels on fire and you can feel some wetness already forming in the front of your sleeping pants. You grind your ass back into your boyfriend’s pelvis and you groan and the intense sensation. He’s hard, and you are so needy you could cry.

And then it hits you.

You are entering heat. The hormones sent you into heat… Your first heat. Oh, goddess.

You want to tell him something, to wake him up, but your body takes action before your brain can fully process what’s happening. You turn around and face him, your claws not sharp enough to even scratch his body are suddenly strong enough to rip his shirt apart, latching your mouth onto one of his nipples as he cries out and wakes up with a cry. In other circumstances, you would have laughed, but in that moment your brain is consumed by his smell, the feel of his body under your soft one… You are completely gone with the ferocity of your own heat.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening? Are you okay?” Your boyfriend tries to say, groaning in between as you keep sucking his nipple, your hand rubbing his hard on through his pants. You can’t answer, tearing the fabric of his pants and mounting him. You rub your dick against his, groaning against his skin as you frantically hump him. He might be the werewolf, but the feral one are you. You can hear him smelling the air and then a loud curse: “Oh fuck, you are in heat.” You try to nod against his skin, but the movement only makes your front teeth catch against his nipple and he cries out, more precum mixing with yours as you rub yourself frantically.

He tries to move you, to turn your body around to take control of the situation, but you growl at him. It’s probably more funny than threatening, but he stops trying to move you and you keep grinding. By the time you come for the first time, he’s panting under you, his hands holding onto your hips as he lets you control the situation, constantly telling you how good you feel, how pretty and awesome you are.

You are breathing hard, still holding onto him as your body twitches over his still hard dick. He gives you something, but your brain can’t process what it is. You look at him trying to decipher what’s happening, and he just smiles sweetly at you as he grabs the bottle and squirts something on his hand. Lube. He starts playing with your hole like he’s in a rush, his hips twitching up to meet yours as you whine because of oversensitivity.

You push back against his fingers as you sit straight, your hands finding your nipples and pinching them until you are hard again. Your breasts aren’t too bit yet, but the feel of your hands against them is like heaven. You rock your hips into his fingers as he prepares you, your hands groping and pinching as he looks at you like you are a goddess over him. His breathing is labored and you can’t believe you are being so dominant, always used to be the one submitting to his big form, but something inside of you needs this. The heat is stronger than anything you’ve ever felt before.

By the time he’s four fingers in and your body is shaking with a second orgasm, the heat hits a new peak, making you scream and beg and grind against him uncontrollably. He tries to shush you, and you growl at him. He chuckles softly and lifts your hips. The second you feel the tip of his cock against your hole you are pushing down, not caring about the burn or the light pain, you just need to be fucked until the heat disappears.

You fuck yourself onto him, bouncing as you pinch your nipples, your voice doesn’t sound like you, whining and crying... exactly like a bitch in heat. You guess you are. It’s intoxicating in the best way possible. Your ears are flopping as you bounce over him, his hands not controlling, leaving you to your own rhythm. He groans and calls out your name over and over, chanting about how beautiful you look, how great your hole feels around his dick and how magnificent you are. His words mixed with the feel of him inside of you is what throws you over the edge a third time. And that’s what makes him come inside of you.

You feel the stretch of his knot as he buries himself as deep as possible. You groan, your body sagging against his front as he pushes his hips up, grinding his knot against your tender hole. He shoots inside of you so much you feel like you are about to burst… But it feels great. The burning desire inside of you silent enough to form a few words…

“I love you,” you whisper, already feeling a new wave of desire burning low.

He kisses your head and caresses your ears softly. “I love you too, sweetie. We’re going to get through this.” His knot goes down, but his dick is still hard inside of you, his own hormones responding to your heat, improving his stamina.

You two have three days of constant fucking ahead of you… and you are more than ready.

[pianokantzart]

Hi, can I just say I love your character studies/essays on the Super Mario characters, especially from the movie. I don't know if you accept requests, but I was wondering if you could do an essay about Luigi being autistic. Luigi is my most favorite character of all the Super Mario characters (my second fav is Peach) and I hc him as autistic because I'm autistic, so imagine my surprise when I first saw the movie and his attitude and mannerism just screams autism. Don't know if it was intentional, but either way I'm happy they made him autistic.

Thank you! This took longer than expected, but I've broken down the essay into two main arguments for Luigi having ASD:

Part 1: Difficulties Socializing

The first and most obvious thing that people point to when suggesting Luigi (Movie Luigi in particular) is on the spectrum is his social interactions. As sincere and kind as his words usually are he shows a repeated inability to read tones, register figures of speech, or understand social nuances.

And while it's not stated explicitly, it's also hinted that Luigi struggles with controlling the volume of his voice. In the movie he gets inappropriately loud when emotional or excited, and in the Luigi's Mansion games he gets quiet and mumbly to the point that he can't get a word in. In either case, it's another sign that he struggles to understand and adapt to social communication in ways that come naturally to neurotypical people.

So, while Mario is inclined toward team sports and games that involve large groups, Luigi favors solitary activities. In a flashback in the movie he's shown keeping to himself, preferring to play with building blocks on the playground alone. Details in his bedroom imply an active photography hobby, and in the games he's shown to be an avid reader and skilled mechanic; two other hobbies in which one has plenty of alone time and full control over the pace of the activity.

Part 2: Sensory Issues & Motor Function

Speaking of pacing, it's very common for people with Autism to need to work at their own speed, which is often quite slow as autistic individuals demonstrate a bias for slower deliberative processing over rapid intuitive processing. This might be part of the reason why Luigi so often drags his feet when he's in a new location, and is teased by E. Gadd in the Luigi's Mansion games for being "sluggish."

And while his clumsiness can easily be waved off as just silly comic relief, it must be noted that most people on the autism spectrum have altered motor coordination, and studies show motor skills are substantially lower in autistic children when compared to their non-autistic siblings. Furthermore, one of Luigi's most defining characteristics is how fearful and anxious he is, and 40% of autistic people experience significant anxiety throughout their lives (Luigi's fear of lightning and loud noises may imply some level of auditory sensitivity as well.)

Then there's the way he moves. In the movie Luigi repeatedly stands with his arms tucked to his chest and his hands balled into his fists; a posture colloquially referred to as "T-rex arms" in the autism community, and is commonly believed by experts to be a form of stimming.

His stimming is far more blatant in the games, especially in the Mario & Luigi RPGs and Luigi's Mansion 2, where Luigi is repeatedly shown swinging his arms, rocking on his heels, and twiddling his thumbs.

So while Luigi definitely has a love for exploration and a strong sense of empathy that defies a lot of the stereotypes of autism, there is a really good argument to be made that he is on the spectrum.

[hannieween]

stargazing | city lights series | h.js

Joshua should've known the minute he saw you standing outside his door for the first time. Then, maybe he would've gotten the opportunity to make things right with you. But no, he let his hedonistic ways get in the way first. Now, will he get the opportunity to make things right with you?

✮ pairings: joshua hong x female reader ✮ genre: angst, fluff, smut (18+) ✮ aus: rock singer joshua, neighbours with benefits ✮ word count: 17k

↣ part i – part ii – part iii – part iv – navi post – other fics

₊🎧: guilty - taemin ♡︎ | dumb - i.m ♡︎ | say you love me - kai ♡︎ | accident - woodz ♡︎ ₊ nsfw warnings under the cut!!

✮ warnings: smut with plot, dom joshua, sub reader, big dick joshua, thigh grinding while joshua is on the phone [i love that cliché let me be], fingering (f), multiple unprotected sex scenes, exhibitionism: being heard by others during sex, brat taming: spanking and a bit of edging, oral sex (f), cowgirl, creampies [yes, plural], pet names: pretty, baby, bunny, sweetheart, princess (hers) this is loosely proofread

part v

Joshua couldn't believe his ears.

He sat there frozen, phone still pressed to his ear. The line had gone dead a minute ago, Jihoon who was on the other side hung up after getting a barely coherent response from Joshua.

He blinked himself back to reality.

Apparently, someone had scouted them from the rock festival a week ago and were in talks with his manager. So Joshua had just learned that Midnight Haze had been picked up to open for a huge band a weekend straight.

Jihoon had called him to confirm the news, and to tell him to get his shit in order to travel overseas.

"Are you alright, bro?" he heard a voice in the distance.

Seokmin was standing in the kitchen, looking out to the living room as he munched on a pop tart.

"Yeah," he breathed, finally getting off the phone. "I'm just shocked, that's it."

"What happened?" his roommate asked slowly, approaching the couch.

"I'm... leaving in a few days," Joshua frowned, the news sinking in. "For a couple of shows."

Seokmin arched his eyebrows in surprise. "Dude, that's awesome!" the younger man slapped his shoulder and squeezed it. "Congrats!"

"Thanks, man," Joshua sighed. "I'm still processing it."

"I can see," Seokmin chuckled lightly.

Joshua checked his phone absentmindedly, he tapped on the conversation he had with you to check if you had read it yet. His knee had started bouncing nervously when he saw he had no reply from you yet. 

Are you pushing him away again?

He got up from the couch and without a word to his roommate he left the apartment and walked straight to the fire exit and went up the stairs.

The rooftop was deserted, as he should've expected. There he stood, breathless and feeling stupid. He was working on his self-deprecating thoughts, but he couldn't help but feel a little dumb as he stepped into the large open space.

It was a special spot, Joshua felt like it was becoming more his thing than yours—given that he rarely saw you in there anymore. So he picked his phone again, and didn't let the several flights of stairs go to waste.

He called his mom, let her know the news. They talked for about an hour, the conversation had moved from the news and turned into a conversation about his life. His mom asked him normal stuff—how he's been, what he's been doing, if he's taking care.

When it was time to hang up, he returned to his apartment with a content smile on his face.

"What are you doing tonight?" his roommate asked, eyeing him cautiously. He'd been doing that the last few days, Joshua didn't know the reason why.

"Uuh, tonight. Tuesday. Nothing, dunno yet. Why?" Joshua sat down on the couch again with a tired sigh. Going up to the rooftop was an incredibly effective exercise.

"Are you interested in going to the aquarium?"

"Aquarium?" he parroted, his attention drawn from his phone. "Uh, yeah. Okay."

"Yeah, I got two tickets for an aquarium night but it turns out that my girl also bought two tickets for another night. So, sharing is caring right?" his roommate smiled sweetly at the brief mention of his girlfriend.

"Oh, oh. I get it," Joshua laughed awkwardly. "Thanks, man."

"So maybe you can take our neighbor for a nice date," he muttered with a cough.

"What?" Joshua choked, eyes widened.

"I know you've been... seeing her. Right?" Seokmin muttered shyly, the tips of his ears glowing brightly red.

"How do you know? Do you even know her?" Joshua asked slowly, not denying anything.

"We've met once. But that's not the point—every time she gets home it's like she whistled and you went running to her," he frowned.

"Did you just compare me to a trained dog, Dk?" Joshua laughed.

"It sounded better in my head. But not only that, I've heard you guys. You're not exactly quiet, and—I mean, how many Joshuas could there be in this city?" Seokmin blinked and looked upward, clearly ashamed of himself.

Joshua scoffed hard. "Sorry about that."

Though he was obviously not sorry.

"Please accept the entrances," Seokmin muttered meekly.

Joshua thought about it for half a minute. "Yeah, okay."

Seokmin exhaled. "I'll send you the link."

"Thanks Dk," Joshua smiled.

"So are you two... dating?" Seokmin asked, a small smile creeping in his face.

"Nope," Joshua replied dryly. "We're just friends."

Seokmin exhaled, leaning back on the sofa. "Wow, okay."

"What?" Joshua frowned.

"It's going to be a little awkward if you're not dating," Seokmin frowned.

Joshua was just about to inquire something back at his roommate when his phone buzzed in his hand.

[16:12 PM] bunny: Can you come over? [16:12 PM] bunny: I'm free now [16:12 PM] bunny: Just let yourself in   [16:12 PM] joshua: omw

He stood from the couch immediately and walked over to the door.

"See?" Seokmin clicked his tongue and sighed. "Just like a whistle."

"Thank you for the tickets, man!" Joshua said quickly as he got out of the apartment.

Joshua opened your apartment door confidently, kicking his shoes off as he closed the door. He already suspected he'd find you in your study, and you were just taking your headphones off and turning in your chair when he walked in.

The room was a great example of the great personality you had: walls covered with bookcases, which housed a lot of your paraphernalia, toys, photos, awards.

It was strange not to see copies of your books with your pen name. Something he meant to inquire about to you later.

"Hi bunny," he muttered warmly.

"Hi there," you stood from your armchair and he was almost taken by surprise when your arms wrapped around his shoulders, dragging him into a needy kiss.

Joshua chuckled in your lips. "Are you horny, princess?"

"Shut up," you sighed, pressing your puffy lips on his again, and again.

Another chuckle was muffled by your mouth, he found it amusing— the times when you were being so needy that you couldn't even talk. You zipped down his hoodie and practically yanked it down his arms.

"Sit," you muttered, Joshua looked at you confused until you pushed him back on the small couch behind him.

Joshua obediently sat on the couch, between your small army of squishmallows which you pushed to the sides as you sat on top of him, straddling him sloppily.

You clashed your mouth with his, kissing him hungrily, your hands grabbing him by his shoulders.

"Shit, baby," he muttered. "Slow down."

"I'm sorry—I just need you so much," you mumbled sheepishly as you leaned down and pressed your wet lips on his.

Joshua groaned, his hands grabbed you by the waist, rendered utterly speechless when your lips reached his neck.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? I texted you hours ago," the words escaped his mouth before he could even stop himself and think.

"Was busy," you groaned nervously.

"Baby, slow down," he insisted when your hands slid underneath his white tank top, his skin prickling at the touch of your cold hands.

He grabbed you by the waist firmly, pulling you back without forcing you out of his lap.

"I have something to tell you," he muttered.

Your eyes widened, searching his face anxiously. "What, what's wrong?"

Joshua paused to read your face. "We've been chosen to open for a band this weekend," he could not avoid the smile that crept on his face in pure excitement.

"Oh my god? That's great!" you squealed, almost bouncing on his lap. "When?"

"I'm leaving on Thursday. My flight is scheduled really early in the morning," Joshua replied, his hands anxiously moved to your back.

"Leaving?" your smile faltered slightly. "Oh, I see."

Joshua's eyes were still trained on your features. "What, are you sad I'm leaving?"

"A bit," you said, looking deflated. 

"I'll be back in no time, baby," he muttered with an amused smile. "Or I can take you with me if you want."

You looked startled, and something within him told him he crossed a line.

"Oh, uh. I, uh, 'm not ready and I have so much work to get done before the book release and," you sighed. "Maybe it's best for me to stay? But thank you for offering."

Joshua rolled his eyes. "Baby, I'm joking," he smiled with ease.

You blinked in surprise and slapped his shoulder. "I hate when you do that."

"Do what?" he chuckled.

"When you play jokes on me," you muttered shyly. "I don't know when to believe you."

Well, that makes two of us. His internal voice sulked.

"Sorry, it's fun to see the faces you make," he replied instead.

"Yeah, yeah," you stuck out your tongue to him, which made him smile again. "Well, tell me more about this band you're opening for."

Joshua had his hands still firmly parked on your waist. You looked especially good that day. He didn't know exactly what it was because you were wearing something he's seen on you before, did you get something done on your hair? No, it looks the same.

So what was it?

"It's a huge band, like legendary big," he looked perplexed again. "I don't even know how they picked us. But it turns out that their original openers were canceled for some reason and we were their first choice."

As he spoke, he could notice your eyes wander. To his hair, then to his eyes, you seemed to like his piercings, since you toyed with them absentmindedly as you heard him. He smiled softly when your fingers reached the piercings on the shell of his ear. Like a cat seeing something flashy.

"Apparently if we take a liking to the crowds, we can get picked up for a label and that would also be huge for us," he told you, his eyes trained on your face.

"Oh? That sounds like a good opportunity. Great, actually," you replied, your eyes big in wonder.

"Yeah, it would mean a lot for us. I'm really excited for this," he muttered, your eyes were now in his throat. You did this a lot too, you seemed to like his throat, and he knew why: there was a big hickey below his Adam's apple.

Oh god, the look on his mother's face when she saw it. There was no comment made about it, but there was an obvious dislike about it.

Joshua, in fact, had never let anyone mark his body, even so much as to leave a scratch on him, he didn't allow it. But everyday when he caught a glimpse in the mirror of the lovebites you made on his body, he would remember you.

The hickeys you made in his skin were now fading, they looked like light brownish spots scattered on his neck and chest.

"I'm happy for you, Joshua," you told him with a small smile.

"Yeah, baby?" he purred and he could feel your legs tense up on his lap when he called you that.

"Yeah," you breathed sweetly.

"How happy are you?" he smiled, noticing that you weren't listening anymore.

"So happy," you whispered idly now, leaning forward to capture his lips with your own.

The kiss was brief but soft, your lips were the softer he's ever kissed, and he couldn't get enough of the softness. Joshua released your wrists and your hands instantly slid up his abdomen, a shudder ran down his body when your hands reached his chest and you were taking his tank top off.

"So, so happy," you muttered again dazedly. You landed a few kisses on his lips and then your attention was drawn to his neck, where you started placing open mouthed kisses.

A low laugh resounded in Joshua's chest. "You're not sad I'm leaving?"

"Yes I am," you replied, again, almost in a daze.

"You're sad you won't be fucked this weekend, bunny?" he dared ask, feeling like he was crossing multiple lines.

"What?" you blurted, seemingly snapping you out from your trance. "Joshua!"

He chuckled when he heard your high pitched voice reprimand him. "Answer the question."

"No, Joshua! I will miss you," you replied with a nervous tinge in your voice.

"Why?" he bit his lip.

Lately, he had been crossing the line of being just your fuckbuddy. And he knew that. But something troubled him and every time he tried to press about it, you'd get nervous and brush him off.

"You-you're my friend, you-," you frowned, stopping suddenly and slapped his shoulder harder this time. "Stop playing games, Joshua Hong!"

The tone your voice acquired whenever you chastised him was amusing to him, he even threw his head back a bit as he laughed at your reaction.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop," he said finally. "I'll miss you too, bunny."

You rolled your eyes at him. "Yeah, right."

He didn't get a chance to respond, your lips were on his when he tried to say some quippy response.

He meant it though—although he wasn't sure what exactly he would miss. It was only a weekend.

His fingers found the hem of your t-shirt and yanked it off your body, his train of thought fading to the back of his mind when he realized you weren't wearing a bra.

"Can I mark you again?" you asked eagerly after his hands started cupping your breasts.

"Yeah, go ahead," he replied, not really caring that his skin was healing from the other darkened spots.

You sighed softly in his neck when his fingers toyed with your nipples. "Fuck," you breathed and pressed your hips against his.

"You're swearing more often," he pointed with a smile.

"Sorry," you mumbled back shyly, kissing the spot below his ear.

"Fuck," he tensed up when you sucked his skin on the sensitive area. "Don't worry," he giggled softly.

"Maybe I need to stop hanging out with you," you mumbled jokingly, he could even feel you smiling on the crook of his neck where you landed another love bite.

"Mmm yeah, maybe," he replied aloofly.

"Would you like that, Joshua?" you asked and for a moment he liked that you were asking that question with the same intonation he uses when he asks you things while fucking you.

And to think you almost call him 'baby' too.

"No," he replied shortly. "I wouldn't."

Your lips reached his collarbones and he muttered more cuss words.

"You're so sensitive," you teased against his skin with a tinge of fondness in your tone.

Joshua couldn't make a reply again, feeling like it was self explanatory: his body liked you. Everything you did to him felt a million times better than anything ever did before.

You pressed your core down on his hardening cock and he groaned louder.

"Do you want me to take my pants off?" you asked sheepishly, batting your eyelashes at him.

"Fuck, yes, please," he muttered with a sigh.

You said nothing about him completely forgetting to dom you, instead, you smiled sweetly at him and stood from his lap. Your fingers played with the band of your sweatpants and when you stepped out of them, his mouth parted a little.

Joshua loved how confident you had become. When he first met you and slept with you, your body language was down right timid, which was totally okay to him, he also found it cute. He found it cute to see your fingers would tremble and the stutter was a bit more prominent. But now, you were more playful with him, even flirty sometimes.

"I like that on you, baby," he muttered when all you wore was a pretty lace thong. "Did you wear it for me?"

"Yeah," you replied coyly. 

Joshua swallowed thickly. "Can you show me?"

You silently nodded and slowly turned around to show him. He smiled through a soft sigh when you displayed your nearly naked body to him.

Then, much to his disgrace, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Ignore it," he mumbled. "It's probably Jihoon again."

"What if it's important?" you asked.

"You're right," he replied and fished his phone out of his pocket. "What is it, now?" he growled into his phone when he picked up Jihoon's call.

"Damn, why are you pissy again?" Jihoon said. "I'm calling you to tell you something about the setlist and dynamics because I think we need to rehearse more," he began.

"Can't this wait?" Joshua groaned and threw his head back on the couch.

"This is important," he pressed. "We only have a few days to prepare. Then, who knows what we'll be able to do."

Joshua closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. "Be quick."

Jihoon started rambling. That was all Joshua could hear, essentially. Just babbling about stage dynamics, setlist order, specific details about lyrics, everything.

Something soft landed on his bare thigh and he opened his eyes to find you rolling his shorts up uncovering his thigh. Then you pressed a knee in the couch beside him and then you sat your pretty, wet pussy on his thigh and your hips started swaying back and forth.

At least you could have some fun through this, he thought.

He felt torn between Jihoon's voice telling him important things about the upcoming weekend's two-night concerts and you riding his thigh. His eyes landed on your forgotten thong lying on the floor and he smiled.

"Are you there? I'm telling you something important," Jihoon reprimanded, getting annoyed.

"I'm here," he replied flatly. His hand slid on your hip to press down on you, indicating that you could go harder on his thigh. Your eyes found him, you looked flustered and hot.

Your eyes widened, your pouty lips and your brow slightly furrowed as you continued riding his thigh.

He moved his hands from your hip and gently teased one of your nipples with his thumb and pointer finger. You bit your lower lip and pressed your pussy harder on the tensed muscles of his strong thigh. 

"Are you paying attention?" Jihoon demanded. "I'm thinking of changing Dawn to be the closing song."

"Mmm, no. I think it's best if we end with a bang, don't you think?" Joshua replied expertly, not caring that he barely heard what his bandmate was saying before that.

"Yeah, you're right. We're playing for a bigger crowd and opening for a heavier band. So maybe we should include more of our old songs, since those are a bit heavier."

"Yeah, yeah. Sounds great," Joshua muttered. His eyes trained on you, a few strands of your hair had stuck on your wet lips and when you exhaled softly, they fell at the side of your face.

"And what about our new songs?"

Your hands were anchored in his shoulders, fingers digging on his skin so hard it hurt him a bit.

But he didn't care, he knew you were close because you started to sway your hips harder and with a certain rhythm, not exactly fast but your mouth was parting the same way it always does when you're almost there.

"What about them?" he replied, trying not to hang up at that minute and help you out.

His thumb started to rub one of your nipples, making your hips stutter in their sway a little and you started twitching on his lap, coming on just grinding against him.

His big eyes lifted to yours, a pleased smile drawing on his face as he watched you come. 

"When should he play them?" Jihoon asked with an obvious tone.

"They should be the first songs of our set," Joshua replied flatly, seeing you come silently on his leg until your hips stopped swaying.

His hand grabbed you by your hip, motioning to move a little and you stilled on his lap, pulling back so that you weren't sitting on his lap.

Then a moan escaped you when he slipped his fingers inside your wet cunt.

"What was that?" his bandmate asked slowly.

"What are you talking about?" Joshua asked back, feigning innocence with mastery.

"I thought I heard—whatever, I'm going crazy," he sighed.

"You and me both, man," Joshua said through a breath, although it was evident to him that they weren't talking about the same thing.

You started riding his fingers and he knew you were enjoying being heard because you started moaning more frequently, small groans fell from your soft lips, your eyes fluttering close when he started palming your clit as you rode two of his fingers.

"So, that would be the setlist. We need to rehearse man, a lot," his bandmate told him reproachfully. "

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry, Jihoon," he muttered absentmindedly.

"Now, about the transportation of our things."

Joshua groaned out of frustration and you smiled at him. He looked so cute to you, his pouty lips and furrowed brow. Joshua decided he was going to spice things up a bit, so he introduced a third finger.

"Oh god," you muttered and his palm pressed harder on your clit. "Fuck, that's good."

Jihoon was discussing details about the transportation of their instruments. The tour production of the band they were opening to actually provided them with the sound equipment so he wasn't too worried he had to rent something. So he didn't listen to what his bandmate was saying.

Because you started moaning again, your face telling on your second orgasm. You were determined to make yourself cum again, the movement of your hips changed and you were practically pressing on his hand so hard it started to go numb.

"God, Joshua," you breathed and started moaning, over and over again, cumming loudly on his fingers.

"Is that—are you watching porn?" Jihoon finally asked.

"Nope," Joshua muttered simply.

"Why does that sound like porn?" he sounded scandalized.

"I'll call you later, Jihoon. Bye," Joshua tossed his phone to the side and his free hand pulled you from the nape of your neck to kiss you hungrily as your pussy clenched his fingers hard.

"Having fun, princess?" he asked gruffly on your lips, then he nibbled your lower lip softly with his teeth.

"Mmm yeah," you replied sweetly, smiling playfully at him. "What was your call about?"

"Nothing that important," he said dismissively. "He might've heard you though."

"Oh, god. Really? Did he mention something?" your eyes widened.

"He thought I was watching porn," he smiled amusedly at you.

"God, that's so embarrassing," you replied, biting your lip and then you stood from his lap.

Joshua stuck his soaked fingers on his mouth, licking your slick off of him with a pleased groan. You were standing between his spread legs, so he just grabbed you by your hips to place soft wet kisses on your tummy.

"Can I—can I ride you?" you asked with a tiny voice as your fingers tangled in his dark hair,

"Yes, baby, fuck yes," he groaned and sat back when your hands gently pushed him by the shoulders.

You grabbed the waistband of his shorts and briefs and pulled them down together, undressing him completely.

"Fuck, baby. You're really needy today," he muttered in amazement.

"I was thinking of you today," you explained with a shrug as you sat back on his lap, straddling him on your couch. "Couldn't get you out of my mind."

"Why, what were you thinking of?" he asked, grabbing you by your hips again as your hands found his shoulders again to help yourself not lose your balance.

"I was thinking of doing this," you nodded to his naked body sitting on the couch.

"Mmm so you were fantasizing while writing your book?" he asked as your hand wrapped around his big cock and stroked his shaft. 

"I couldn't even get work done," you nodded with a sigh. "It's driving me crazy."

Your thumb rubbed the precum gathering on the tip and he swallowed thickly as he processed what you just said to him.

You propped yourself on your knees, his hands guiding you down as you held his cock for you to ease yourself down on it.

Joshua groaned, his hands involuntarily clenching on your love handles. You also moaned loudly, shuddering hard on top of him as you bottomed out on his cock.

"So big," you sighed tiredly.

Joshua let out a faint laugh, his hands moving your hips back and forth slightly, urging you to move.

"Okay?" he muttered, his voice already strained.

"Yeah, 'm okay," you nodded, anchoring yourself with your hands on his marked chest.

"Fuck," Joshua swallowed hard and threw his head back slightly, his fingers trying to dig holes into your skin.

You started riding him faster, his hands shifting from your hips to your ass, following your movements as you practically bounced on his cock.  

"Joshua," you whimpered. "Let me kiss you."

That was a bit of a problem for him.

It took him some moments to realize it at first, but when you dipped your head to lock your lips with his own, he moaned. He was just so weak for you, he usually found it so hard to contain himself when he was with you, but when you started landing kisses on him, he just couldn't resist.

You blinked and locked eyes with him, a frown appearing on your face when Joshua pulled his head back with a guttural groan. His hands grabbed your hips and forced them to stop, retracting your wet, throbbing pussy from his cock abruptly.

"Fuck, sorry, fuck. I'm sorry, baby," he whispered, clenching his jaw hard and screwing his eyes close.

"What's wrong?" you asked, reading his face desperately.

"Shh," he shuddered slightly.

You understood what was happening, and when Joshua opened his eyes again, he found you smiling.

"What's wrong?" you asked again when he allowed you to ease back down on his cock.

He licked his lips and shot you a brief look. "Almost came," he muttered shyly.

"From kissing me?!" your voice shot up an octave higher.

He groaned and threw his head back again on the couch and nodded wordlessly.

"Why?" you pried.

Joshua's hands were kneading on your sides, trying to get you to move a little faster, since it seemed that you had forgotten to continue riding him.

"I like it," he replied and his eyes shot you a dark look when you laughed.

"Sorry. I shouldn't laugh, 'm sorry," you tried to regain control of yourself but a big smile spread on your face, you even looked teary eyed for a second.

But Joshua smiled too despite himself. "You find that funny, princess?"

"A bit, yeah. It's cute," you muttered, suppressing a moan when you found a certain angle that you liked, you leaned forward a bit, taking his cock in your walls slowly.

"Cute?" Joshua snorted.

"All this time I thought—I was so dumb," you sighed and smiled at something only you appeared to be knowing of.

"What?" he pressed.

"Nothing," you shook your head and started riding his cock faster, earning a groan from him.

Then your hand sneaked in between you and him and started toying with your clit using your fingers. Joshua's eyes trailed down to where your bodies joined and saw your pretty fingers swirling around your swollen bud.

He might've come from the sight alone. He was biting his lip, watching you bounce on his cock, completely naked, making soft noises with your mouth as you appeared to be reaching your release again.

"Oh, Joshua—I'm close," you mumbled, pushing your forehead against his. Your pussy was clenching harder and you stiffened a moan. "Fuck, so close, Joshua."

"Do you want me to cum with you, baby?" he asked, his fingers teasing your nipples softly.

"Yes, god, yes. Please, Joshua," you whimpered.

"Want me to cum inside too?" his voice was low and strained.

"Yeah, oh god, Joshua. Ah'm there," your hips pressed down on him and your cunt squeezed him hard.

"God, fuck baby," he muttered and his hands grabbed you to help you keep moving on his cock as you went completely languid, succumbing to your third orgasm.

You leaned down and pressed your forehead on the crook of his neck, muffling the sounds of your whimpers and cries of pleasure as you came. Soft wet kisses and nibbles on his skin made him moan and cuss, the tip of your tongue swiped a line on his neck to his earlobe and that tipped him over the edge.

Joshua pushed his hips forward, thrusting his cum deep inside you, riding both your orgasms in a frenzied craze, he screwed his eyes shut while you continued to place lovebites in the crook of his neck, your body almost convulsing against his.

He was breathing hard, feeling like he almost passed out right there on your couch, his cock still inside your walls. What kept him conscious was the fluttering sensation on his chest, your heartbeat banging so fast against his that for a second he thought of asking you if you were feeling it too.

Fuck, he would miss this. Even if it was only a weekend.

"Oh, that was intense," you whispered, still shaking from your high.

You nuzzled tightly against his chest, burying your face on the crook of his neck and Joshua wrapped your body in his arms, holding you tightly as you breathed tiredly on his neck.

"Are you going to tell me now?" Joshua asked, not forgetting what you tried to say.

"All this time I thought you didn't like to kiss me during sex," you confessed and then let out a soft chuckle. "But it turns out you do?"

"What?" Joshua exclaimed. "Why would you think something like that?"

"Because you never kiss me—or let me touch you when we fuck," you shrugged slightly.

"Why did you never ask? It's important that you know these things," he reprimanded, pushing his shoulder forward and you moved your body back, understanding he wanted to be face to face with you.

"I just thought that us being fuckbuddies, kissing during sex would be too affectionate, you know?" you mused coyly.

"That's nonsense," he shook his head.

"It's not to me, Joshua," you muttered, eyeing him abashedly.

"You know you can trust me with these things. I'm not trying to belittle your worries, just—I want you to be comfortable with me," he looked upset, and almost disappointed.

"Well, what was I supposed to think?" you countered.

"Not that I don't like to kiss you," he rolled his eyes with annoyance.

"But you do," you smiled eagerly, reveling at the fact that he liked kissing you during sex so much that he could come from it.

"Of course I do," he laughed faintly.

Joshua looked at you expectantly, but you slowly rose from the couch, and let out a sigh when you saw that you had spilled his cum on the couch, and it also dripped down your legs.

"Oh, I made a mess," you mumbled embarrassedly and seemed to look around for something to clean it up immediately.

"I'll sort this out. Don't worry," Joshua told you and nodded. "Go get cleaned up, baby."

"Right," you frowned, your attention drawing back to the cum dripping down your thighs. "I'll be back."

While you took care of that in the shower, Joshua found paper towels in your kitchen and cleaned the mess on the couch and the few drops he found scattered on the floor.

Then he took the liberty to enter the bathroom while you were showering. Joshua had been there many times before to wash up after having sex with you, so he knew pretty much everything about where to find what he needed.

"Are you going to hop in with me?" you asked, eyeing him with curiosity through the glass door of the shower.

"I was just thinking of cleaning up here but," he shrugged, seeing your soap covered body.

You moved from the stream to let him step under it. Joshua was well aware that you enjoyed seeing him shower, even though he didn't even make a show of it, he usually just stuck to get himself cleaned fast.

But your eyes—oh, they were so telling on what was going on your mind. They wandered and roamed all over his naked wet body and he smiled knowingly.

"Are you hungry, princess?" he asked suddenly, bringing your fascinated eyes back to his own.

"Uh?" your mouth parted cutely.

"As in, food, I mean," he chuckled.

"Oh, oh, yeah," you muttered awkwardly.

"Do you want to order something? Or maybe I can cook something for you, if you want," he shrugged as he rubbed soap on his hands to clean his cock thoroughly, which was getting hard under the eye fucking by you.

"You can cook?" you asked innocently.

"I don't like your tone of surprise," he pointed. "Yes, I'm a decent cook."

"Oh? I'd like to, yeah," you replied while pretending to be washing your skin very consciously for the second time already.

"Okay," he mumbled, throwing his head back to finish rinsing off and stepping out of the stream for you to wash off the bubbles from your neck and breasts. You weren't making a show of it either, but Joshua couldn't help but gape at your body too.

Now, he was not entirely sure you weren't making a show of it, since you had rubbed soap all over your tits, bubbles gathered around your nipples and when the water washed over them, it looked so alluring that a shudder shook him hard.

Joshua chuckled breathily, snapping himself out of his trance and stepped out of the shower, fighting a semi-hard on. He was quick to dry off his body with the towel that you assigned him the very first time he showered in your apartment.

He had grown a fondness to this. Something so simple and ordinary as washing up. You didn't have any particular way of doing it but he found it cute. He liked the mundanity of it all.

"Take whatever you want. You have free rein," you offered as Joshua stood in your kitchen.

"Do you follow a special diet?" he asked, appearing to be focused on his task. "Are you picky about something?"

You told him a brief summary about your food preferences and he listened intently, starting to gather ingredients from your cupboards and fridge.

"Okay, princess," he sighed and started to busy himself in making you a full meal.

"Do you need some help?" you offered meekly, feeling a bit idle in your own kitchen while he got to work.

"Um, I need these chopped. Can you help me sweetheart?" he asked with an aloof tone and nodded to the cutting board.

You instantly melted at the tone he used to address you. "Sure," as you did so, he eyed you curiously. "Am I doing it wrong?"

"Not at all," he assured.

"Okay. That's done. What next?" you handed him the cutting board and he diligently put the chopped veggies on the large pot and covered it, lowering the heat and sighed with satisfaction.

"That's it baby, thank you. Now we wait," Joshua said, setting a timer in his phone before gathering the used cutting boards, knives and such to put them on the sink.

"Oh, don't worry about that, I'll do the dishes," you stammered, grabbing one of his wrists to stop him. "You cooked, I'll wash."

"Sure about that, princess?" he asked. "I can do both, no worries."

"Move aside," you commanded and then batted your eyelashes at him before adding. "Please."

He smiled amusedly. "Okay."

He didn't leave the kitchen, he just stood there while you washed the dishes neatly. You looked over your shoulder at him to find him leaning on the kitchen counter, you turned around to continue washing the dishes, smiling with a blush on your face.

A yelp in surprise came out of you, startled when Joshua's hands clutched your waist over the soft fabric of your silk robe.

"Careful, bunny," he muttered softly when you jolted slightly. "I don't want you cutting yourself on that."

You were just rinsing the knife you used, and moved it to the drying rack. "You startled me," you replied shortly, trying not to show how flustered you already were.

"Sorry about that," he moved a hand from your waist to brush your wet hair from the back of your neck with his fingers, leaving your nape exposed.

He pressed his lips behind your ear, inadvertently getting the scent of your soft skin and wet hair. The scent was sweet, he could almost taste it in his tongue, it left him feeling something akin to a punch in his chest.

"Joshua, I'm in the middle of something right now," you mumbled, but you sounded amused, almost as if you found it funny that he couldn't keep his hands to himself for longer than half an hour.

"So?" he replied in a similar fashion to you.

And to really make his point across, he pressed his body on yours firmly, making you inevitably feel his semi-hard cock lodged in your ass.

"Joshua–"

"Hurry up," he muttered in your ear, teasing you with soft kisses.

He only heard you smile, but was so busy trailing kisses down your shoulder that he didn't get to see it again.

"Okay," your voice was rendered to a whisper. You finished rinsing the last cup and put it neatly on the rack. But then you scooted to the side to wipe something on the counter, clearly dodging his advances to tease him a bit.

When you heard a groan from him you didn't dare look back at him, but you laughed at his evident impatience.

"Calm down. And you say I'm needy," you teased. "Honestly, you should look in the mirror, Shua."

A gasp left your mouth when you were suddenly turned in your feet and pushed back in the kitchen counter that dug into your smaller back.

"You're becoming more confident with the tone you use with me, princess," he cooed with a playful grin on his face, his pierced eyebrow arched a little before he dipped his head to capture your lips with his own.

"I'm sorry," you replied in a whisper, but deep down you were excited to see where this was going.

"You know I don't like liars," he muttered darkly in your lips before swiping a line in your lower lip, making you whimper pathetically in response.

He nibbled your lower lip gently as his hands found the knot tying your robe blindly and tugged at it loose.

"You're so sure about that, Shua. But you seem to like me," you countered, your whole body recoiling in a thrilling shudder at your own audacity.

He stepped back a little, he looked in complete fascination, as if you had slapped him silly for a second before he broke in a throaty chuckle.

"What's gotten into you today, princess?" he asked with an amused look. "You've been so bratty lately. Do you miss being punished?"

"I do," you breathed into his lips, pressing your own against them a couple of times before adding: "And now that you're leaving I'm going to miss it more."

You felt his smirk with your lips, his breath landing lightly on your mouth. He had already parted your robe, making your breath hitch embarrassingly when his hands slid in your naked waist.

"You're trying to make me punish you. You know that doesn't work with me, baby. So why try?" he tilted his head to the side a bit, the smirk never fading from his face.

"Oh, but it does work, Joshua," you whispered, your jaw trembling ever so slightly when one of his hands slid on your back, fingers caressing gently on your skin. "It has worked every time."

Joshua seemed at a loss for words. This was a first for him—being so enthralled by someone that he didn't know what to say. It made him feel challenged, and he liked that a bit too much.

You found the strength to start toying gently with the piercings on his earlobe, knowing it was a weakness for him. His eyelids fluttered briefly and he tried not to smile.

"You were right, Joshua," you muttered with a sigh. "I do feel a little sad that you're not fucking me this weekend. But, think of how bratty I'll get. I don't think I can be that patient for you."

"Careful, princess," he muttered again, but this time, he was deadly serious.

"Are you going to miss my body too, Shua? I can play with my toys all I want, but what are you going to do?" you continued with a honeyed tone, being cautious to avoid his darkened gaze.

One, two, three seconds passed, and as time progressed and your words hung in the air, you knew it would be bad for you. But in reality, Joshua was just racking his brains for something to say, since you almost had punched him with your words.

Then, the timer in his phone reached zero, the alarm went off, distracting his attention and breaking the silence in the kitchen. He turned away from you to get the alarm to stop and turned the stove off.

"Turn around," he muttered as walked back to you.

You bit your lip to avoid him seeing your triumphant smile as you turned your tummy to face the kitchen counter.

"Bend over," his next instruction was cold, devoid from all the warmth and gentleness he used before.

Bent over the kitchen counter, you started to get a fiery anxiousness over what was coming. His hands gently caressed your ass over your panties when he pushed the robe up your back, making you sigh your nervousness away. 

Then you felt his fingers tug on the band of your panties to move them down to your knees.

And, something you weren't expecting happened. Joshua pushed one finger into your core, a whimper fell from your lips and your muscles tightened in response at the sudden intrusion.

"So wet already," he tutted. "I love this about you, baby. Your pretty cunt is always ready for me, even when you know what's coming for you."

He sounded serious, but on the inside, Joshua was far from disappointed. He was deeply awed by you, almost to the point he knew he had to be crazy.

"Joshua," you breathed against the cold surface of the kitchen counter.

"Mmm, yes baby. That's my name," he introduced a second finger in your warm gummy walls and you gasped. "Do you say my name when you play with your toys?"

"You know I do," you replied despite the blazing tingle sensation in your ears and cheeks.

"Are you going to say my name when you get fucked by someone else while I'm gone?" he asked and you knew by his tone he was not playing.

"I'm not fucking anyone else! Just you, Joshua," you replied instantly.

Joshua dragged his fingers out your sopping walls and landed his hand firmly in your ass, the wetness of your arousal in his fingers leaving a tickling feeling over the pulsating soreness in your skin.

You yelped loudly in response, screwing your eyes shut and fingers clenching into fists at your sides.

"That's right, princess," he purred softly. "If anyone gets to fuck you, is me," he rubbed a hand over the sore area.

"Yes, yes!" you squealed mindlessly. "Only you."

You let out a mewling sigh when he ran the pads of his fingers in your folds, caressing softly before slipping his fingers inside your walls again.

He leaned forward, placing a loving kiss on your bare shoulder. "What made you think you could even imply otherwise?" he asked, his voice low and raspy.

Your eyes fluttered shut, holding onto the cold counter to try and control your shaky breaths.

"I asked you a question, princess," he cooed.

"I'm sorry, I-"

Again, he pulled his fingers out of your throbbing walls to land another slap in the same spot he did previously, it made you jolt and groan through clenched teeth.

"Don't," he muttered. "I don't like lies. You know that."

You nodded and then pressed the side of your face on the hard surface of the kitchen counter.

"You wanted this, baby," he cooed, marveling at the sight of your glute starting to redden in the recently hit area.

Joshua continued to tease your cunt with his fingers, then introducing a third one, massaging your walls, pressing on them with his knuckles when he crooked his fingers inside you.

"Oh god," you breathed, your eyelids fluttering when your arousal trickled down your thigh.

"Shit, princess," Joshua muttered in his fascinated trance. "I don't think I'd ever seen you this wet. I suppose that thinking of fucking other cocks while I'm gone gets you this wet, is that it baby?"

"No! I just said that to s-spite you," you stammered quickly and then screwed your eyes shut to brace yourself for another spank.

"Then you're saying that teasing me gets you wet," he laughed faintly when you whimpered at the loss of his fingers when he pulled them out of you to land another slap in your ass.

"Fuck," you cussed through clenched teeth.

That one resounded harder than the last, so hard that Joshua believed that your neighbors would hear. Does his roommate hear this every time he's with you doing this?

"Mm?" Joshua pressed, while caressing your sore ass briefly before resume fucking you with his fingers, sighing in satisfaction at the sight of you completely bent, ass red and your cunt displayed for him, soaking wet.

"It does," you mumbled.

"You like to get in my head, is that it?" he wondered aloud, hoping to get a reaction from you. "Do you like to incite me with your bratty behavior?"

"I do, I like all of it," you breathed, then bit down your lower lip.

"Don't bite your lip," he warned. "You're going to hurt yourself."

Joshua raised his hand to land another firm slap in your ass. Both of your glutes were tingling, sore and hot. You groaned in both pain and in pleasure when he introduced his fingers in your throbbing core again. The sight of his wet fingers disappearing in your pulsating walls was fascinating to him. And you, being so completely subdued by his control was even more arousing.

"You're being so good right now, bunny," he praised with his honeyed voice. "I wish you could see yourself."

You only moaned in response, feeling silly to even give a full coherent response. You only were able to angle your ass up for his fingers to reach deeper in your walls, letting out a puffy breath through your wet and chapped lips.

"Oh, my pretty girl. Are you fucked out already? Do you like being fucked with my fingers, sweetheart?" he smiled when he saw you were nearly drooling, your mouth agape and eyelids fluttering shut.

"Uh-huh," you breathed.

"Is this why you misbehave?" he pressed, but even you could hear that he was smiling.

"Yeah," you replied in the same manner.

He chuckled, completely entranced in your fucked out babble, drooling, soaking wet on his fingers, which he pulled out to deliver another spank on your red glute, earning a lewd yelp from you.

"Baby, are you close?" he asked. "I'm barely fucking you with my fingers, do you like being spanked that much?" he asked when your walls started cramping down on his fingers.

"Mmm-mmph," you nodded with your head pressed against the counter. "Feels so good," you replied in a whimper, it was not only the fact that he was teasing you with his fingers, or the pain from the spanking.

You were absolutely drunk on him controlling you, talking to you in that way, acting possessive over you.

He pulled his fingers once again and you lifted your head from the counter when you saw out of the corner of your eye that he had dropped to his knees.

An embarrassingly lewd sound escaped from your gaping mouth when he licked a stripe from the side of your thigh to your wet folds, his hands firmly grabbing you by your sore ass for him to bury his mouth on your cunt.

You cried out his name, not caring that it was the middle of the day, you were in close proximity to the door of your apartment and the walls to the hall outside were very thin.

He hummed in response, reveling at the sound of you calling his name out loud. His hands were kneading at your ass, pushing you on his face as he ravaged your core, giving it broad strokes with his tongue, tasting you, getting drunk on you.

"God, Joshua!" you cried out lewdly.

Just when his tongue started to push in your core, making you moan and tremble in pure bliss, he stood up, yanking his mouth from your throbbing cunt.

You let out a whimpering groan, expressing your disapproval. Joshua you felt genuinely amused, but you didn't see any sign of it, his nose and lips covered in your slick that he wiped away with one hand.

Joshua leaned forward as you lay on the counter and you stilled when his lips pressed wet kisses where your silk robe didn't cover your back, your shoulder and neck.

A pathetic moan spilled from your lips, your body alight from the soft kisses he planted on places no one but him had ever touched before.

"Did you think I'm letting you cum that easy, baby?" he purred, planting a kiss on your shoulder. "You're cumming when I say you can, you know that."

Joshua couldn't ignore the glint of triumph he caught in your eyes. A thing was for certain: you learned his game, you won.

His hand rubbed the area where he had spanked you, it was red and it felt some tingles. He felt you shudder slightly and you dropped your forehead back to the kitchen counter.

"You like being spanked," he cooed softly. "You enjoy being tied too. Maybe I should change my tactics, since you're misbehaving so much lately."

That sparked your interest, you budged a little to sneak a glance his way, the sight of it was so cute that Joshua almost breaks right there and then.

"Should I punish you by giving you the cold shoulder?" he mused softly, introducing his fingers back into your walls and you let out a moan in eagerness. "You seem to like giving me the cold shoulder, maybe I should start doing the same to you."

But it was you that broke first.

"No, please don't," you raised your head to see him. "I'm sorry Joshua, I won't do it again, please."

His fingers came to a stop inside you, pulling them out slowly to then fix your panties back to their place. "On the table, now."

You swallowed thickly, but didn't waste more time and walked over to the table with Joshua closely behind you. He grabbed you by the waist and sat your body down on the cold surface.

Luckily the table was sturdy and it didn't budge when Joshua set your body down brusquely.

"I'm having a hard time believing you. Why do you give me the cold shoulder, bunny?" he asked, his tone silky and taunting. 

But in his eyes you saw another thing, was it frustration? You leaving him aside was something that troubled him deeply, he knew that he couldn't press you too much about it because you always seemed to steer the conversation away from it.

"I can't tell you, Joshua," you whispered and the air was robbed from his lungs when he knew you weren't in the subspace anymore.

"It's okay," he responded and his gaze softened immediately. "If you can't tell me I won't bring it up again."

"Oh, Joshua," you sobbed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"No, don't be," he faltered. "Are you safewording, bunny? We can stop right now."

"Nonono, don't stop," you muttered quickly, bringing a hand to his nape to pull him into a heated kiss.

"Baby-," he pulled away but you shushed him with another kiss.

"Please don't stop," you urged in a broken whisper.

"I'm confused," he admitted.

"Just know that I don't push you away over something you do," you muttered faintly, looking at his eyes but your gaze was shifty. "You don't do anything wrong."

"You trust me, don't you?" he asked, feeling his chest contract at his words, why did he feel so unsettled by this?

"I do, I trust you Joshua," you replied immediately.

"And you know you can safeword anytime," he continued.

"Yes, I would've safeworded if something was too much for me," you nodded.

"I'm not doing anything that pushes you away?" you shook your head silently. "Okay, that's all I need to know."

Except that wasn't true. Joshua was still clinging to the question around your sudden disappearances. He was sure it got something to do about the stuff you said about your exes: you didn't stick around.

But he's not your ex, he's not even remotely something close to even having a title in your life. You don't introduce someone to your friends and say 'This is Joshua Hong, my fuckbuddy.' So, why should you treat him as anything more than that?

"Joshua," you called to him, tearing him from his thoughts and cupping his beautiful face in your hands, locking your eyes with his. "I won't push you away again. I promise."

"You don't have to make promises with me," he muttered and instantly regretted it.

Because he wanted this, he wanted you, no messing around, no lies. He wanted your honesty, your secrets, everything.

"But I want to. Let me," you whispered, he could see the honesty in your eyes, but also, a glint of desperation in them.

"Okay," he conceded. "It's a promise, then."

Joshua held in his breath, he was an idiot.

"Joshua, I..." you whispered, your fingers were now fidgeting with the hair on his nape, as if that was meant to soothe you, not him. "Give me time, and I'll tell you when I'm ready."

"Baby, you're allowed to keep your secrets," he emphasized. "I just don't like to feel like it's my fault that you disappear."

"It's not," you said and seemed to relax, the tension around your shoulders eased.

"Then I have nothing more to worry about," his fingers grazed your chin fondly. "Okay?"

You nodded, offering him a sweet smile that twisted his guts. "Okay."

"You scared me, baby. Don't do that again," he reprimanded softly with a sigh, leaning his forehead on yours.

"I'm sorry," you muttered. "I know, I'm so, so sorry. I panicked. I ruined the moment."

"Don't worry. Your comfort comes first," he said softly. "It's a good thing that you stopped me, but just try to remember to safeword. Even for things like this."

"I will. Thank you," you whispered.

"Are you sure you're okay, baby?" he whispered. "We don't have to keep going. We can skip to aftercare, it's alright."

"But I want to keep going," you muttered back in a tiny voice. "Do you still want me?"

Joshua still felt confused, but one thing yanked his mind from the lingering question: you being so restless, so utterly vulnerable and exposed to him made his heart wrench.

He wanted you in ways that he couldn't explain.

"I always do," he replied before kissing you.

His hand found the nape of your neck, his fingers tangling on your hair to kiss you hungrily.

The atmosphere between you had changed and Joshua felt it, he didn't have to ask you if you felt it too this time.

What Joshua didn't know is that your heart was beating like crazy. So completely lovesick because you were becoming more and more transparent with your feelings and at the same time, you couldn't find it in yourself to tell him you're in love with him.

Instead, your hands were zipping down his hoodie again, sliding it down from his shoulders. This time Joshua forgo his tank top, so he just shrugged out of his hoodie, and you helped him step out of his shorts.

You grabbed his hard cock with one hand and he sighed softly in your lips, shyly giving it a few pumps with your hand. Darting a look up to find his big doe eyes trained on your face, making your stomach jolt in nervousness.

"What?" you breathed.

"Lie back, princess," he muttered, blinking lazily at you with a smile on his face.

The curtains in your apartment were wide open, letting the warm light from the sunset pour inside and reach the round table where you were lying down, still wearing your robe and panties. The splits of the robe parted and exposed your naked chest for him.  

Joshua could've sworn he never laid eyes on someone so beautiful. Removing the fact that you were nearly naked, he still thought you were so pretty; your puffy soft lips, your wide eyes looking fondly at him.

He hooked his fingers on the waistband of your panties and slid them down your legs again and put them aside somewhere.

"Joshua?" you called in a small voice.

"Mm?"

"Can we—can we skip foreplay?" you breathed. "I really need you right now."

Joshua complied wordlessly, being that he also ached to do just that. Grabbing your legs to hoist them up his shoulders, he aligned his cock with your core, he sent you a look before he sheathed himself in your walls to his hilt.

He let out a puffy breath in pure delight as soon as his cock was surrounded by your walls.

"God, Joshua," you sighed.

He would never get tired of this, hearing you call his name.

He started moving, dragging his cock back to push it right in, picking up a pace instantly. He was hitting you so hard and deep that the sounds of skin slapping against skin, paired with the soft moans you made and Joshua's own groans flooded the room.

Joshua looked down where your bodies joined, a low guttural moan bubbled in his throat when he saw his cock disappearing on your pretty swollen cunt.

"Mmfuck. You feel so good baby," he muttered in a fucked out slurry tone, his eyes trailing back to yours. "So tight and warm."

"All for you, Joshua," your reply reverted him back to the thing he always says to you and that made him smile broadly at you.

"Just for me," he breathed, the air leaving his lungs once again but now knowing that your eyes were looking adoringly up at him. "Why is that?"

"Because 'm yours," you mumbled with a small smile that let out a moan.

"All mine. That's right, baby," he breathed, pushing in and out of you in steady pace, barely holding onto the fragile threads of reality.

Joshua has never felt something so otherworldly. He thought he might be going insane for a split second. The warm light pouring from the windows bathed what your robe didn't cover, your bare skin exposed to him, your adoring eyes looking at him.

Then, he suddenly leaned down, motioning for you to hook your legs around him, as you did, his arms wrapped around your body to hoist you hip, so now that the only part of your body pressed to the table was your ass.

You cried out in both pleasure and from the unexpected motion as he continued ramming his cock in and out of your cramping walls, hitting so deep in a spot that felt just so good you inevitably started moaning lewdly.

You instinctively hid your face on the crook of his neck, nibbling at his soft and marked skin. You placed open mouthed kisses on the spot below his ear, making him plunge deeper in you.

"God, ahh—baby," he called with a hoarse voice. "Fuck–I'm close. Are you close too?"

"No, 'm not there yet, Joshua," you mumbled breathlessly, pulling your head back to see his furrowed brow.

"You want me to cum inside, sweetheart?" he purred with a lazy sigh.

You nodded, and he enjoyed the frenzied look on your face because he knew you went wild when he talked to you in that way.

"Do you want me to keep fucking you until we come again and again?"

He smiled at you when you shuddered visibly. You nodded and gulped hard. "Yes—god, yes! Please, Joshua."

"Gonna fill your pretty cunt to the brim. You're gonna take it all, right baby?" he continued, enjoying the frenzied look in your eye when he talked pure filth to you.

"Yes, yes, yes," you nodded frantically. "I want everything, Joshua."

You cupped his face with your hands and pulled him into a hungry, passionate kiss. He groaned helplessly in your mouth, feeling like you were playing dirty with him, because he couldn't hold out anymore.

He pushed his hips against yours lazily, his hands cupping your ass to push your body impossibly close to his own as ropes of cum spilled inside your pulsating walls.

But he continued fucking you aimlessly, your body now clinging to his. One of his large hands grabbed you by the back of your head to kiss you harder, swallowing your moans of pleasure as you came with him.

"Joshua," you breathed in his mouth. "Oh, god–fuck. Joshua!"

"I know, I know," he replied lazily. "You're taking it so well, baby."

Then you did something he wasn't expecting. You moved your arms from his shoulders and propped yourself on the table, splaying your legs wide for him.

A low moan bubbled in his chest, his glazed eyes at your body splayed on the table for him, making him follow you by leaning towards you and lowering his hands flatly on the table too.

His gaze fell again where your bodies joined and groaned loudly, clenching his jaw as he felt his cock getting harder at the sight of your cunt sopping wet with his cum. The base of his cock dripped with a  ring of your cream around it.

"Umffuck, fuck baby," he groaned mindlessly. "You look so good like this."

It was at this moment that you knew why he liked watching you come. You always thought he looked insanely hot when fucking you, but this time something was different. He looked as if he was trapped in a trance—his gaze was out of focus, lust lidded eyes, leaning his head back while pushing his cock in and out, biting his lip and moaning out incoherencies.

He was ruined, so ruined.

"All yours," you responded in the same craze as his. "I'm yours, yours, Joshua."

He moaned gutturally and nodded with his head, his thrusts had long ceased to be controlled and calculated, as he was growing tired but drowning deep in you.

"Baby," he called. "Kiss me."

You pushed your body with your arms and reached out to him, wrapping one arm around him to capture his sweet lips with your own, a hand pushing him by the back of his head to pull his head as humanely close to you.

"Mine," he breathed in your lips.

You nodded and pressed your lips against his softly.

"Give me one more. Can you do that for me, sweetheart?" he asked in a broken mutter.

Joshua smiled sweetly at you just nodding your head, completely unable to utter a word.

"You're being so good for me," he grunted, pushing lazily in your walls. "Fuck, so perfect. You're gonna give me one more? Cum for me again, baby."

You groaned loudly and nodded frantically. "Yeah," you mewled.

"Rub your clit. I'll cum with you," he muttered and smiled again when you complied with zero hesitation.

But you brought the hand that was on his nape to his lips and he understood immediately, and took the pads of your fingers inside his mouth to coat them with his drool along with a groan.

Then you gently pressed the now wet fingertips on your clit and started flicking swiftly, you knew it was game over for you again.

You threw your head back a bit, jaw going slack as Joshua continued fucking you open on your table, grunting and cussing over and over again as your walls started cramping erratically around his cock again.

"Uum fuck-k," you gasped, your muscles contracting erratically. "Joshua, god–Joshua!" you cried out harder. "I'm cumming, I'm–gaah!"

Joshua moaned in response, but continued ramming his cock inside and out, not wanting to tear his eyes off you, writhing on your table, crying out his name for the whole building to hear.

It didn't take much for you to drag him over the edge again, it was just so irresistible, and it felt so good to be in there with you; both so drunk on each other.

"That's it, baby. Take it all," he whispered, completely lost in you, so much that he couldn't believe that he was already cumming for the third time that day. 

Joshua blinked lazily as he pushed his hips sloppily, dumping his load inside your walls with a blissful groan and faint babbles about how good you were for him, calling you his over and over again.

You were breathing hard, rendered speechless, your arm supporting your body was shaking slightly as you stopped writhing from your high.

"Joshua," you whimpered, signaling for him to stop.

"Too much, sweetheart?" he cooed, reading your face with his eyes.

You nodded wordlessly and he complied immediately, his hips coming to a stop, his chest heaving and completely covered in hickeys and sweat.

"Hungry now?" he smiled weakly.

"Mmyeah," you mumbled clumsily.

"Let's go wash and then we eat," he nodded back to the bathroom.

"Get out of me first," you smiled playfully at him.

He sighed a smile, his eyes glinting with something you couldn't place. He reached out beside you on the table and motioned you to lie back again.

Then you noticed he had reached out for our panties he discarded on the table and hooked them on your ankles, sliding them up your legs and you lifted your hips for him to fit them properly.

"Thanks," you muttered happily.

"D'you still have questions for me, sweetheart?" he asked out of the blue, his hands beside you hovering over your body on your table.

You blinked a bit surprised. "Yeah," a frown appeared on your face. "Why?"

"How about," he booped your nose with his finger, "we eat, and we go somewhere you can ask away all you want."

"Why, I can ask you right now," you shrugged slightly, the small smile remaining on your face.

"I'm jus' saying since we can't be around each other for two minutes without having sex," he chuckled breathily.

You giggled sweetly and his heart clenched again. "Alright, mister. It's a plan."

Then you booped his nose and he smiled.

Joshua was actually a really good cook, not 'decent' as he said. However you didn't eat on the table, you both sat on your couch and ate to your heart's content.

The tv was on, but none of you were watching. You sat with your legs extended on the side and Joshua sat on the sofa beside you.

Sometimes you would catch him looking at you with the lightest smile on his face. You would laugh and roll your eyes at him, trying to play hard at his suggestive looks.

Maybe it was the fact that you were both half naked in your living room.

"What?" you finally managed to ask after he looked at you for the third time. Or when you caught him looking for the third time.

"I think I'd never seen you eat a full meal 'till now," he replied, eyes on his bowl, scratching with his chopsticks at nothing.

"Yeah, I'd never seen you eat either," you nodded with a small frown.

"You're cute," he muttered shyly. "You pout when you chew on your food."

You giggled. "No, I don't. Now you're just inventing stuff," you joked, but you couldn't ignore the fluttering in your stomach.

He rolled his eyes. "Right. Forget what I said. You actually look like a monster that's been starved for decades."

"That's more like it," you smiled at him.

"I'm never giving you a compliment again," he smiled, leaving his bowl on the side. "Want more, sweetheart?"

"I'm full," you left your bowl on the coffee table as well. "Thank you, Joshua."

"Don't thank me," he replied, leaning back on the sofa.

His legs were spread, a hand resting on his thigh and the other propping his head.

You swallowed hard and looked away. But he noticed, he stood up and squeezed his body on the couch lifting your body to place you on top of him.

He was smiling knowingly. "You're insatiable, princess. Did you know that?"

"What are you going to do about it?" you asked coyly.

"How about we just make out?" he laughed in embarrassment.

"Yeah, I'd like that," you breathed.

Joshua chuckled, dipping his head to kiss you deeply, smiling between your lips.

Joshua Hong, you idiot.

When his roommate gave him the tickets for the Aquarium night event, he failed to mention that it was an event intended for couples mainly. So the look on his face might have given him away immediately when he led you inside.

"You know, if you wanted to go out on a date with me, at least give me the courtesy of letting me know beforehand. I could've dressed better," you smiled impishly as you looked around the entrance of the place where the first thing you saw was a heart shaped sign that said: 'love is in the water.'

"I didn't know it was for couples," he admitted.

You gave him a look, and his heart sank. Why couldn't he just say that this was an actual date?

Maybe because this was not his style.

If it were up to him, he would have taken you somewhere else, and perhaps under different circumstances, he would have told you beforehand that he intended to go out with you seriously instead of dragging you on an impromptu date.

"We can leave," he put in quickly.

"No, it's okay. I don't want to leave," you reassured him. "I like aquariums."

"You do?" he pushed his eyebrows up.

"Yeah!" you smiled, pushing the door and holding it open for him.

He was dumbfounded still by the mess he brought you to.

"What else do you like?" he asked, walking beside you through a corridor that looked more like a glass tunnel crossing through water, fish darting away above, the soft light illuminating the path you walked together painted a soft blue glow on your skin.

"I'm asking the questions tonight, sir," you arched an eyebrow playfully.

"True, sorry," he returned the smile. "What do you want to know?"

"I know your birthday, your favorite color, I know that you go out with your mom on Sundays... Do you have siblings?"

"Only child," he muttered simply. "It's just me and my mom."

"Oh," you frowned cutely.

"It's fine, don't worry," he shrugged.

"O-okay," you nodded. "Is guitar the only instrument you play?"

"So you do have a list of questions, huh?" he asked jokingly. "I play the piano too."

"You know I do have a list," you quipped with a grin. "Will you show me one day?"

He smiled sweetly. "Sure."

You returned the smile before standing in front of large tanks showing pink jellyfish. You cooed cutely, looking mesmerized at the exhibit.

Something irked him. His hand itched to grab yours, to lace your fingers with his and stroll with you hand in hand. He wanted to show you off to the world, as though you were his entirely.

But instead of that, he just took out his phone and snapped a photo of you deep in your trance watching the jellyfishes floating in the water tank. You never noticed he did, but that was his plan all along.

"I always wanted to ask," you eyed him shyly, walking to the next tunnel, through the reefs and fishes swimming away. "Were you taught to tie rope?"

Joshua snickered. "Why do you want to know?"

You smiled through your blush. "I just can't imagine you learning from a tutorial on youtube."

"What's wrong about that?" he laughed. "I did learn some things on the internet. But before that, someone taught me."

Your eyes sparked with interest, turning away from the colorful schools of fish darting gracefully between swaying seaweed to face him. "And who–who was that?" you stammered a little. 

"An ex," he put it simply.

"Girlfriend?" you mused, trying to sound uninterested.

But Joshua noticed, his eyes fixed on your face as he nodded. "Former dom. Long time ago, bunny."

Your eyes widened, your mouth even dropped in the tiniest 'o'. "You used to have a dom?" you whispered, but couldn't hide your disbelief.

"For a while," he replied simply, not caring much about sharing his past with you, he wanted you to know all about him, so he felt like he could be more open.

"Did you like being a sub?" you asked nervously.

"It was alright. Fun, short-lived," Joshua shrugged.

"Why did you change?" you pried.

"I prefer having control," he sighed with a gentle smile.

"Mm yeah, that I do know," you smirked, looking up to the water ceiling, your eyes following each fish that swam by. "Would you let me dom you?"

Joshua's laugh reverberated across the tunnel, he even threw his head back a little.

"Don't laugh!" you mumbled sheepishly. "I'm serious."

"Sorry. I know you're serious," he replied, bringing a hand to your back as he walked beside you. "You just took me off guard."

"Why, you don't think I can do it?" you pressed, although you felt like it was quite obvious.

He ran a hand through his black hair, pushing it back. "Honestly? I don't know. But if it's something you want to try, we can do it some time. I can teach you a few things."

"Is there anything you want to try with me?" you mused, glancing up at his big doe eyes and the water ceiling on top of him.

"Mmm, dunno. I think I might be down for anything you want, honestly," he confessed, then paused. "Is there anything you want to try, bunny?"

"Mmm," you hummed and Joshua smiled when he noticed you've been echoing him a lot lately. "There's a lot I haven't experienced. Car sex, mirror sex, butt stuff," you laughed then looked down meekly before adding: "Threesomes."

"Do you want to have a threesome?" he asked, looking around to make sure no one heard his voice over the soft music playing through the speakers.

You shrugged. "I mean, only if you want, obviously," you gave him an abashed look.

"Huh," he smiled broadly. "I don't know how I feel about that," he admitted through his smile.

"If you don't want to, it's fine. It's just something I thought might be hot, y'know, being... shared," you stuttered quickly, scratching the back of your head awkwardly.

"I think it will take me a while to be ready to share you with someone else, honestly," he mumbled shamefully, standing before a large exhibit, where the vibrant hues of exotic fish shimmer under the gentle illumination.

It looked something like watching a meteor shower, Joshua thought. The fish were darting in all directions, glittering in the dark ocean depths, and he almost fell into another trance, seeing you enveloped in a silvery aura in the dim lights.    

"That's fine," you smiled nervously. "We can try other things."

"Maybe in some other time we can try," he conceded.

"Never done it before?" you asked, your cute eyes reading his face.

He rolled his eyes with an uneasy smile. "I've done it before, princess. A few times."

"Then why...?" you frowned slightly.

You didn't get to finish your question, instead you shook your head and turned to face the underwater life, letting yourself be drawn by the next exhibit. Joshua gravitated naturally around you so he followed closely.

"Maybe we can try it when I don't feel as... you know, possessive," he mentioned offhandedly, looking away from you to the ceiling.

"Joshua, it's okay," he heard you smile and his eyes trailed back at your face. "We don't have to do it now. I don't think I'd be able to try it with anyone else that isn't you."

That sent a strange fuzzy feeling down his body.

"Yeah? Why is that?" he mused.

"I dunno," you mumbled sheepishly, avoiding his gaze while you twiddled your fingers around the necklace you wore. "I feel safe with you, Joshua. You don't mock me for my inexperience, or make me feel bad in any way when you teach me things. And I trust you would take care of me in anything we try together."

There was no one around inside the small exhibit, in fact, the large glass wall showed nothing but water, since the lonely beluga had already swam out of sight a couple of minutes ago.

"That's the only thing I care about," he replied, the feeling coiling in his throat had robbed his voice. "Your trust in me."

You raised your eyes back at him, there was a glint of emotion in them Joshua couldn't quite place. You gaped slightly, as if wanting to say something but fell short of courage.

But then your eyes trailed down to his lips, then back at his eyes and he understood what you meant. He knew you were shy about a lot of things, not just things revolving around the physical, so he decided to initiate.

"C'mere," he muttered, wrapping one arm across the small of your back, pulling you close to him as the other hand cupped your chin.

Joshua slowly captured your lips with his own, feeling his heart melt under the softness of your skin, the taste of your sweet breath as you sighed in his mouth. 

Joshua Hong, you idiot, his internal voice reprimanded again.

He should've known why he was feeling this uneasy.

He should've known the minute he saw you standing outside his door for the first time. Then, he would've gotten the opportunity to make things right with you—to ask you for a date, to get to know you better, to win your heart over.

But no, he let his hedonistic ways get in the way first. Now, will he get the opportunity to make things right with you?

"Joshua," you breathed. "I–"

"You don't have to say anything. Please," he interrupted, afraid you were about to pull back, to tell him something witty that drives the moment away from him.

But you tangled your fingers in his tousled black hair, stopped at the nape of his neck and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, teeth clashing and breath hitching, both of you desperate to tell each other without words what you couldn't yet say to each other.

"I really, really like when it rains," he murmured against your lips. "In fact, whenever it rains I go for a walk. Same with snow. I used to be a choir boy and used to stay up all night reading the Percy Jackson books."

You began to laugh heartily into his mouth, his hand was cupping the side of your face, as he pressed feathery kisses to your lips in between choppy phrases spoken frantically.

"I like pastries and ice cream," he laughed a little at himself, but held you firmly to his body, as if for support. "I like to play slow music when I feel stressed. I like midnight walks when I feel lost."

His fingers clenched lightly around your hair, his face scrunching up to fight the uneasiness of sharing stuff about him with you.

"I also like to drive. Whenever I need to think I drive somewhere. I think that's why I related to you that night we first talked on the rooftop," he murmured hastily, as if trying to get the words out before he couldn't contain himself. "You have your rooftop, I drive my car."

You smiled against his lips, feebly trying not to cry from the flood of feelings that overwhelmed you.

"I..." he faltered for a second. "I really like sleeping next to you. I like doing normal stuff with you, not just sex—cooking, doing the dishes, grocery runs, all of it. I really like doing the laundry, we can do that together someday, would you like that?"

"I'd love that, Joshua," you whispered, your voice trembling slightly.

"Yeah? I also want you to go to more of my concerts, I liked seeing you singing in the crowd," he muttered with a strangled sigh.

"Just tell me when and I'll be there," you replied, completely enthralled by him.

"I don't know right now, just—I... want to be there when you publish your book," he mumbled, swallowing hard.

Joshua didn't let you give him a reply, he kissed you again, afraid of his own emotions, afraid of what you would say. He felt vulnerable and he didn't like it.

But you saw that. You could see it in the way he struggled to get the words out. And you understood that so well, better than anyone.

So you followed the kiss, feeling elated, almost to the point that your knees threatened to give out, but his arm held you tightly close to his own body.

"Do you want to stay for dinner?" he asked both gruffly and dazedly. "I think there's a live jazz band or something."

"We're a little late for dinner, I think. And we've been listening to the band all along," you told him with a faint chuckle.

"Really?" he responded aloofly. "Then, in that case, can I take you home? Or do you still want to look around?"

"You can take me home," you replied, caressing his cheek with a thumb.

"Sleep together?" he mused with a small grin that didn't fully show his teeth.

"I'd love that," you replied, melting at seeing his smile, turning his eyes into crescent moons.

"Okay," he whispered, letting himself be overtaken by the unrested feeling in his chest. "Let's go then."

And true to his word, the tension in Joshua's features had relaxed, and he almost looked excited when you got back to your apartment. He quickly went to him to grab a change of clothes and his toothbrush.

"Hey, you're back," Seokmin welcomed him as Joshua pushed to his apartment's door. "How did it go?"

Joshua came back from his bedroom with his arms full of clothes and a hand grabbing his toothbrush.

"I suppose it went well?" Seokmin let out a low chuckle as Joshua nodded and walked to the door. "Just try to be quiet tonight? I really do need a peaceful night's sleep."

"Sure thing," Joshua muttered, totally not listening.

When he came back to your apartment, you seemed to be tidying up your bedroom a bit. It didn't need tidying but it was a fixation of yours, since you were trying to hide your nervousness away.

"Hey," you muttered. "That was fast."

"I just needed a few things," he shrugged, but in fact, he didn't want to waste a second with you. "Besides, it takes like thirty seconds to get to my room from your apartment."

"Oh, that reminds me!" you almost jumped from where you stood in your bedroom and hurried to your little studio and came back with a naked manuscript, handing it out to him with a smile. "Here."

"Is this what I think it is?" Joshua took the very heavy pile of white sheets all neatly bound with stitches. "Did you bind it yourself?"

"I did. How did you know?" you asked bewildered.

"Just a guess," he smiled softly, wrapping a hand on the sewn binding and tuning the first blank page to find the working title of your book.

He turned the second page, where he found a handwritten note in your hand that read:

dedication: to...

"Is this annotated too?" his widened eyes turned to yours and you nodded eagerly. "This is so cool," he sighed.

But not only that, as he turned the next page, he also found small doodles on the corners, next to side annotations.

"I'll give you a full review when I'm back," he smirked.

"You will? I'd love that Joshua," you cooed softly, and he finally tore his eyes from your manuscript, left it aside on the nightstand and wrapped an arm around you.

"Of course I will, baby," he pressed his lips on the tip of your nose.

When it was time to go to bed, it felt like another world to be so comfortable and normal with each other. It almost turned his stomach when he couldn't help but feel a crushing affection for you.

He brushed his teeth at the same time you did, pushed each other to use the sink, and laughed together. When it was time to put on pyjamas, he simply undressed, keeping only his briefs on, and smiled at your bunny pyjamas.

You yanked the covers of your bed open and climbed on one side of the bed, looking at him expectantly. Joshua took the space beside you, slipping an arm beneath your body to drag you close to his chest, hugging you snuggly. 

You caressed his bare chest with one hand, over the red hickeys and the older brown ones and smiled softly. Your hand trailed up to the side of his face and craned your neck to reach his lips with your own.

He breathed out in both pleasure and bliss to kiss you so tenderly, both so tired to even go past kisses but wanting to.

"G'night Joshua," you whispered in his lips, pressing one final one before snuggling your face against his chest.

"Good night, bunny," he muttered, kissing the crown of your head before closing his eyes himself. 

In the morning, you woke up first to find him sleeping beside you. Your stomach twisting nervously as soon as you laid eyes on his relaxed features.

He was lying face up, so you had enough space to rest the side of your head on his chest, which he felt and lazily threw an arm around you, his fingers reaching for your head to tangle in your hair.

"You talked a lot last night, sweetheart," he muttered with a light laugh.

"Oh, god," you sighed. "'m sorry."

"Don't worry. It was fun," he responded with ease. 

"What did I say this time?" you darted a look to his face, his eyes were close and seemed to be half asleep still.

"I couldn't get anything this time. Well, just one word," he laughed and that seemed to shake him awake.

"Which was...?"

"Jellyfishes," he muttered and giggled softly.

"Pfft," you huffed with a smile. "Oh, god. Really?"

"Mmm-huh," he hummed softly, his sweet voice reverberating in his chiseled chest.

"Sorry, Josh," you mumbled.

"I like it, bunny," he muttered lazily.

Truth be told he almost took his phone and recorded you talking in your sleep. But he refrained since it was just a crazed desire that might be misunderstood deeply.

"M'kay," you hummed.

"I have rehearsals in a couple of hours," he mentioned with reluctance. "But I want to see you before I leave tomorrow, is that okay?"

You lifted your head to see his face, he blinked lazily at you, his face relaxed and when his eyes locked on yours, he smiled slightly.

"Yeah, of course it is okay," you replied. "You don't have to ask that."

"Mmm," he hummed thoughtfully but then, he asked. "Do you like French toast?"

Joshua cooked breakfast humming a joyful tune and you helped in what you could against his protests. But he couldn't help but feel elated at you being beside him, helping him cook breakfast.

When it was time for him to go, he leaned back on your door, before opening it so you could cup his face with your hands and kiss him tenderly. He didn't want to go, he wanted to spend all day in bed with you, making out with you, fucking you silly and then taking care of you.

"I'll call you when I'm free, okay?" he muttered in your lips, his heart going crazy when you swiped a line on his lower lip with the tip of your tongue.

"Okay," you replied, pressing more kisses on his lips, making him giggle.

"If you're going to be like this every time I go away, I think I'm just going to go away more often," he joked.

"Shuddup, Joshua," you whined, slapping his shoulder playfully.

"Alright, alright," he giggled sweetly.

"See you in a bit, then?" you asked in a high pitched tone, which he made note of.

"Yeah. See you in a bit, baby," he returned the smile to you, before grazing your cheek with his knuckles to then lean down to kiss you goodbye and turned to leave.

"Joshuji, you haven't been sleeping well?"

Joshua looked over at Jeonghan, who was ravishing a plate of fried rice with a focused expression in his face.

"Why you ask?" he frowned, the question came out of nowhere, since they had been chatting over seemingly nothing important a minute ago.

"Your eyes look swollen," his best friend replied, rubbing the air in front of his own eyes. "Have you been crying?"

"What. No, Han," he shook his head. "I just had a long night, that's all."

"Mmm," he hummed and nodded his head, his fluffy dark hair dangling in his forehead.

Joshua wasn't lying. He really did have a long night. Not by choice, though, he just felt really restless. With upcoming concerts, rehearsals and pending conversations with you, he couldn't find peace in his thoughts.

Rehearsal was totally botched by his inability to focus, because no matter what he did, his thoughts would revert back to you.

[18:21 PM] bunny: I'm still in the middle of this book interview, I'll let you know as soon as it's over. 😊

Jeonghan's eyes narrowed when the phone buzzed on the table and Joshua practically jerked awake from his daydream and his hand flew to look at his screen.

"Who's that?" his best friend inquired.

"No one," Joshua muttered quickly.

He had asked you an hour ago if you were free for him to go see you. And as always, you were in the middle of something. You did tell him in passing that you had a live stream with a popular pair of content creators that invited you to talk about your upcoming book.

[18:21 PM] bunny: Maybe by 8 pm. Is that okay with you?  [18:21 PM] bunny: I don't know yet. They were wrapping up half an hour ago but still going 🫥 [18:21 PM] bunny: They're not even asking me things anymore. They're talking to each other  [18:21 PM] bunny: I think it's good that I don't have to show my face 'cause the don't see me texting you

Joshua smiled, but his joy was cut short when Jeonghan's head blocked Joshua's line of view, taking a peek at the phone in his hands.

"Stop it, Han," he muttered, pushing the smaller man out of the way.

"Oh, you have a girlfriend!" Jeonghan cooed, then stopped and his shoulders went slack. "Wait, you have a girlfriend? Since when? And how did that happen?"

"I don't have a girlfriend," he replied tiredly. "Mind your business."

Jeonghan chuckled. "Oooh, I see," he muttered and resumed eating his food.

But his best friend said nothing else. And that might have sent Joshua on a spiral.

"What?" he muttered reluctantly.

"Nothing, nothing," Jeonghan responded, looking at his food.

"Tell me," he pushed.

"Is this what's got you in a bad mood?" Jeonghan's lithe fingers pushed the empty plate on the table.

"Like what?"

He shrugged. "Impatient. Barely touching your food, barely talking."

That much was true, as well. His plate was still half full, and he was not a man to leave food on his plate, but he simply did not have the appetite to keep eating.

"It's just—I'm sorry, Han," Joshua muttered and sighed heavily. "I can't think straight. You're right, I didn't sleep last night."

Jeonghan breathed a low chuckle. "Ah, I'm always right, Shuji," he joked but faltered when Joshua sent him a dark stare. "You wanna talk about it?"

Joshua dropped his chopsticks and pressed his elbows on the table. "No. I don't know—I haven't told anyone about this."

Jeonghan dropped his playful act upon seeing the torn expression on Joshua's face.

"What's wrong?" Jeonghan's serene brown eyes studied Joshua briefly. "Something bad happened?"

"No, not at all," he shook his head briefly. "I don't know."

Joshua sighed and called for the bill.

"You're not gonna tell me?" Jeonghan asked in bewilderment.

"No. Fuck, I don't know. I can't focus," Joshua's transfixed eyes landed on the table before him.

"Pfft," Jeonghan leaned back on the chair. "I'm exhausted of being everyone's therapist. No wait, scratch that, I hate that I have to fucking wait until you explode and have no one else to run to but me."

Joshua met his eye for the first time. "Oh, you're for sure not talking about me," he chuckled darkly. "Fine, I'll tell you but you're going to shut your mouth until I'm done talking."

Jeonghan followed Joshua out of the restaurant after they had paid the bill.

"I'm listening," he pressed.

"I'm... seeing someone," Joshua muttered, and felt every cell in his body protest against continuing. "God, this is insane."

He stopped abruptly on the sidewalk, making Jeonghan bump shoulders with him.

"I need a drink," he blurted, running a hand over his black hair.

Jeonghan looked wearily at his friend. "Let's go to mine. It's closest," he nodded towards the end of the street.

Jeonghan handed him a short glass with whisky on the rocks.

"Thanks, man," Joshua muttered, frowning a little over his best friend's hospitality.

"Don't mention it," Jeonghan said, popping a can of beer.

Joshua took a large gulp of whisky and slid the empty glass on the coffee table. He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his knees.

"I don't know how else to say it," Joshua muttered, still wearing an empty expression on his face.

"Just say it," Jeonghan shrugged. "How bad can it be?"

"I'm fucking my next door neighbour," he blurted, cringing internally at every word, scrunching up his face.

The ice-cubes in Joshua's now emptied whisky glass shifted and for a whole minute that was the only thing he heard after muttering those words.

Joshua's big doe eyes lifted from the emptiness and found an expressionless Jeonghan.

"That's not bad," he said finally with a shrug. "Is she married or... why are you so pent up about it?"

"No, she's single. She's... driving me insane," he dropped his face in his hands and rubbed his eyes harshly.

"Why? I don't get it," he heard his best friend ask.

"It started two months ago. And I didn't think it would lead anywhere, I really thought she would just get tired of me and–," he sighed and brushed his hand over the air as if trying to push you out of his mind.

"I'm getting the bottle, hold on," Jeonghan said, rising from his sofa.

Jeonghan brought the whole bottle to the fancy coffee table he had in the middle of his living room. The apartment was obnoxiously large and every piece of furniture looked carefully selected. Like the coffee table in front of Joshua's knees.

"Thanks," Joshua said as he downed his second glass of whisky.

Joshua was particularly resilient when it came to drinking. So he wasn't worried about getting drunk. He could keep going all night if he wanted to.

But no, he made a promise to go see you first.

Joshua let out a sharp breath when the whisky warmed his throat.

"At first it was just casual sex, just fun. But it's becoming more serious lately and I don't know how to stop," he blurted the last words with a clenched jaw.

Jeonghan waited, perhaps because he didn't know what to say or because he saw that his friend was still gathering his thoughts.

"I don't know what to do," he concluded in a faint murmur, running the tip of his finger over the rim of his glass.

And like a work of magic, his phone started buzzing again, vibrating furiously against the glass table.

Joshua frowned, looking deeply obfuscated at the phone screen. You were calling him.

"You're not going to get that?" Jeonghan said, evidently knowing that it was you who was calling, since Joshua's display had that photo he took of you and your contact read only one word: 'bunny'.

"Yeah," his voice was rendered to a whisper. "Give me one minute."

Jeonghan nodded and stood up from the sofa, pretending to be busy himself elsewhere.

"Hi there," you told him and he could tell immediately that you were in a chipper mood than usual.

"Hi bunny," Joshua muttered, a smile instantly spreading on his lips. "How was the interview?"

"It was fine. It's just a pair of kids with a bunch of questions about the book. They were fun, it dragged on, though," he could hear you munching on something while you talked to him.

"Mm, yeah. I noticed," he muttered, his eyes briefly scanning his surroundings to make sure Jeonghan was out of earshot. His friend was nowhere to be seen.

"And you? How was your thing with your friend? Are you home right now? Why don't you come over and we talk here?" he could almost picture your sweet smile and the way you act shy when you prompt him to do something.

"I'm at his house right now," he replied shortly.

"Oh, really? What are you guys doing? Am I interrupting?" you asked nervously.

"We're actually talking about you," Joshua smiled deviously despite himself.

"What—no you're not. Stop playing or I'm hanging up," you said and that reminded him why he was in this mess.

He played too far.

"Can I call you in an hour, bunny?" Joshua asked abruptly.

"Sure. Let me know if you're coming by later, will you?" you asked. "I want to see you before you leave."

"I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye," he muttered and could feel his own face contorting into a frown.

"I'll hold you to that statement," you sighed into his ear and he knew you were smiling.

"You won't have to, baby," he lowered his head as he spoke to the phone in a low tone, as though he didn't want the walls to hear him. "I promise."

"Alright. I'll leave you with your friend. See you in a bit, then?"

Joshua smiled when he heard what appeared to be a new tradition between you two.

"See you in a bit, bunny," he muttered and hung up.

Joshua looked around again, but this time he found Jeonghan standing in the open kitchen, eyes big, mouth wide open in a smile. Because of course he was listening. Was he hiding all this time? Joshua imagined his best friend hiding behind the kitchen counters.

Joshua let out a heavy sigh and returned to his position of hiding his face in his large hands.

"You are down horrendous," his best friend punctuated each word.

"Fuck off," Joshua bit back, his voice muffled by the palms of his hands.

Jeonghan returned to his sofa, curling into a ball. His friend looked shocked, but almost giddy. Like a child seeing fireworks for the first time.

"Seriously, Joshua," his jaw dropped a little. "Why are you here? I thought you were all wind up because you wanted to end things with her. But here you are, actually whipped."

"I am not whipped. I can't believe you were eavesdropping," he groaned in defeat. "I'm here because I can't find an appropriate way to tell her."

"What, you don't know how to speak your mind?" his friend asked, sounding dumbfounded. "That's a first. Why can't you just man up and tell her? By the way you talked to her I can only assume it's mutual."

Was it mutual, though? Every time he tried to initiate the conversation or said something remotely romantic or affectionate you seemed to turn away from him and change the conversation. 

"I don't know if it is—mutual, I mean," Joshua declared and a shudder shook his bones. "I've tried to tell her, but it's never the right time. It's confusing. It happened so fast and I wish I could've done things differently with her."

"Leave then," Jeonghan shrugged with ease. "Don't waste your time and hers. You know better than that, Shuji."

"I know, I know," he muttered with a weary sigh and slowly rose from the sofa, dragging every inch of his body up. "Wish me luck."

Jeonghan followed him with his inquisitive eyes. "You'll do the right thin—you fucker, you're not planning on following through with this?"

Joshua's cheeky smile gave him away fast.

"Fuck, you're going to regret this," his friend followed him out the spacious apartment. "Well, you know where to find me."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for the drink, Han."

When he finally got to your door, he thought of all the times he's stood there, all the times you answered—and the times you didn't. It felt to him like he spent more time standing outside your door than in his own apartment.

"Hi bunny," he smiled when his eyes landed on your face.

He suddenly forgot his hysterical episode earlier. He forgot everything he was planning to tell you. Something inside him wondered when the time would come when he would stand in front of your door to tell you that he is falling in love with you. But he could push all his feelings away.

All to have another night with you.

Even if it killed him a little.

✮ a/n: hellooo! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

so

so

i'm sorry this chapter was so long!!! i had so much fun writing from joshua's pov and it just went out of my hands — this fic is so self-indulgent i love it

so if you liked this part please let me know? (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

happy new years everyoneeee! ilyyy

READ PART 6

– join my taglist!

[hazza043]

"Hey, do you know that blueberries aren't actually blue?" "For fuck's sake, y/n, can't you be normal for once? Get away from me, go!" Daryl yells at you. You run, feeling a sting from Daryl's harsh words. You didn't mean to annoy him, but it seems like you always do. You trip and fall, skinning your knee on a rock. "Shit," you mutter, standing up and limping back to the community, feeling numb.

As you walk back to the community, you can't help but feel a sense of rejection. You slowly limp to the infirmary. "What happened?" Denise asked. You shrugged. "Nothing."

Denise raises an eyebrow, concerned. "Don't give me that, y/n. I can see you're limping and your knee is bleeding. What did Daryl do this time?" You sigh, feeling a mix of emotions. "He just... yelled at me, okay? Told me to get away from him."

Denise's expression softens. "Ah, sweetie, I'm so sorry. Daryl can be a bit of a handful sometimes." You nod, feeling a lump form in your throat. "I just don't get it, Denise. One minute he's nice to me, the next he's biting my head off. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around him."

Denise puts a gentle hand on your arm. "Maybe he's just struggling with his own demons, y/n. Maybe he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings." You look at her, curious. "Feelings? What do you mean?"

Denise hesitates, choosing her words carefully. "I think Daryl might have a crush on you, y/n. But he's not very good at showing it." You feel a surprise, a mix of emotions. "A crush? On me? But he's always so gruff and mean!"

Denise smiles. "That's just a front, sweetie. Deep down, Daryl's a softie. But he's been hurt before, and he doesn't know how to open up." You process this information, trying to make sense of Daryl's behavior. A crush? On you? It seems impossible, but at the same time, it makes sense.

Just then, the door to the infirmary bursts open, and Daryl himself walks in. His eyes scan the room, and when they land on you, they narrow. "What are you talking about?" he growls, his voice low.

You avoid eye contact, looking down at your knee as Denise begins to clean and bandage it. Daryl's gaze lingers on you for a moment, then he turns to Denise. "What's going on here?" he asks gruffly.

Denise looks up at him, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. "Just patching up y/n's knee, Daryl. No need to worry." Daryl's eyes narrow slightly, but he says nothing. He turns and leaves the infirmary, leaving you feeling a mix of emotions.

As Denise finishes up with your knee, she leans in close. "Remember, y/n, Daryl's a complex person. He's got a lot of baggage, but he's also got a heart of gold. Just be patient with him, okay?"

You decide to take some time to process everything, think about your next move. You thank Denise and leave the infirmary, walking back to your quarters in a daze.

As you lie in bed, you can't stop thinking about Daryl and what Denise said. A crush? On you? It seems impossible, but at the same time, it makes sense.

You think about all the times Daryl has yelled at you, but also all the times he's saved you, protected you. You think about his rough exterior and his soft interior. You realize that you have feelings for Daryl too. But how can you get past his gruff exterior and reach the heart of gold that Denise talked about?

As you drift off to sleep, you make a decision. You're going to try to get to know Daryl better, to understand him and his feelings. The next day, you see Daryl in the courtyard, practicing his archery skills. You decide to approach him, to try to start a conversation.

"Hey, Daryl, can I talk to you for a minute?" you ask, feeling a sense of nervousness. Daryl looks up from his archery practice, his eyes narrowing slightly. "What is it?" he asks gruffly.

You take a deep breath and apologize. "I'm sorry if I did something to annoy you yesterday. I know I can be a bit much sometimes." Daryl's expression softens slightly, and he lowers his bow. "It's not you, y/n. I'm just... dealing with some stuff."

You nod, feeling a sense of understanding. "I get it. I've got my own stuff too." Daryl looks at you, his eyes searching for something. "Yeah?" he asks, his voice a little softer.

You nod again. "Yeah. But maybe we can help each other out. You know, talk through our stuff." Daryl's face softens even more, and he nods. "Okay, y/n. Let's talk."

You sit down with Daryl, and for the first time, you really talk. You share your fears, your hopes, your dreams. And Daryl listens, his eyes locked on yours.

As you talk, you realize that there's more to Daryl than meets the eye. There's a deep pain, a deep hurt. But there's also a deep love, a deep loyalty.

You reach out and touch Daryl's hand, trying to offer comfort. He looks at you, surprised, but doesn't pull away. Instead, he turns his hand over, and you find yourself holding it, feeling a spark of electricity.

"I'm so sorry, Daryl," you say, looking into his eyes. "I had no idea you were carrying so much pain." Daryl's eyes well up, and for a moment, you think he might cry. But then, he takes a deep breath and nods.

"It's okay, y/n. Just knowing someone cares... means a lot." You squeeze his hand, feeling a sense of connection. "I care, Daryl. I really do."

Daryl looks at you, his eyes searching for something. Then, he leans in, his face inches from yours. You can feel his breath on your skin, and your heart starts to race.

You kiss him, trying to comfort him. Daryl's lips are soft and warm, and he kisses you back with a gentleness that surprises you. The world around you melts away, and all that's left is the two of you, lost in the moment.