#also I'm LOVING the inspirations he's getting

[morganaawriterr]

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Chapter 04;

— Your Sweet Love

Synosis: In a marriage born out of convenience and plagued by bitterness, You and Sunghoon find yourselves trapped in a cycle of cold indifference and unspoken resentment. Your quiet strength and tender care begin to reach the heart Sunghoon has so carefully guarded. Slowly, walls built from years of hurt and mistrust start to crumble, revealing a shared loneliness neither had acknowledged. With every tentative step toward connection, your hearts yearn for a closeness you’ve long denied yourself selves, leaving both to wonder if you can build something real from the ashes of your forced bond.

Navigation: Intro - 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 Pairing: fem!reader X husband!Park Sunghoon Genre: Arranged Marriage trope; Slow Burn; Angst; Fluff; Smut (kinda) Warnings: cursing, mention of pills (some are drugs); abuse; mentions of blood; sexual content; injuries; heavy themes; juicy tension ;) Music: Listen to 'nevertheless ost' and 'the trunk ost'!! Disclaimer: This story is fiction, and it does not reflect real life in any way. This story is heavily inspired by the kdrama 'The Trunk' on Netflix but with a special twist! Words: 6k - New Chapter Every Saturday!!

A/n: I procrastinated on writing this chapter so badly and I don't know why :( The story is coming to an end and I'm so sad :/ Its been great to write this for you guys, I hope you like this new chapter. Because it is kind of a calm chapter, its not as long as the last one, but I worked very hard on it anyway! Also, I want to warn you: this chapter talks about death. Thank you for all the love and support. It means everything to me <3

After standing in front of your bedroom door for what feels like an eternity, Sunghoon still can't seem to find the courage to knock. His hand hovers in the air, frozen in hesitation. His thoughts are clouded with regret, and he experiences a sense of weight as if he is being pulled down by gravity. Knowing he’s too frail to make a move tonight, he sighs and turns away, deciding to retreat to his room. He can try again tomorrow morning.

Inside his large bedroom, the scent of clean laundry greets him, and as he approaches his bed, he notices you’ve changed the sheets. The soothing fragrance makes his chest ache, your presence lingering in the room despite the distance between you. His own words replay in his head like a cruel, endless movie. Sunghoon closes his eyes and shakes his head, trying to push you out of his mind.

The air in the room is ice-cold, the forgotten open window letting in the freezing night breeze. His skin prickles as he crosses the room to shut it, hating how the icy air mirrors the chill between you two. He moves around, searching for his sleeping clothes. An old black T-shirt and loose pants that hang low on his waist.

Cursing under his breath, he slips under the covers, only to be met with cold once again. Sunghoon's body shivers as he adjusts beneath the heavy blankets, but they do nothing to bring him comfort. He exhales a deep, tired sigh, his head sinking into the pillow. More than anything, he just wants this crappy night to end.

But hours pass, and it feels like absolute hell. A cold, lonely hell that he’s trapped in. For four agonizing hours, Sunghoon tosses and turns, his body as restless as his mind. His thoughts refuse to quiet down, and every time he closes his eyes, the image of you crying resurfaces, keeping him wide awake. Frustrated, he lies flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, his heartbeat pounding fast against his rib cage.

Without thinking, he throws off the blankets and gets up. His feet carry him to the hallway before his mind can catch up. Your door seems miles away, and with each step, his legs grow weaker.

Once again, he finds himself standing in front of your room, anxiety clouding his head. What if she's asleep? He wonders. It’s four in the morning. His hand hesitates in mid-air, lingering over the door as he debates whether to knock or walk away.

What if she hates me and wants to leave me? His anxiety screams inside his head. Sunghoon closes his eyes and swallows hard, his hands trembling as he slowly reaches for the wooden door. But to his surprise, it opens slightly before he can touch it, leaving him confused. From the small gap you’ve created, you stare at your husband with tired eyes.

“I didn’t even—” Sunghoon starts, but you just offer him a small smile. Shaking your head, you glance at him again before responding. His beautiful brown eyes are red, with dark circles beneath them, a clear sign that he’s been just as restless as you.

“I heard your footsteps,” you finally say, easing some uncertainty swirling in Sunghoon’s mind.

“Can I come inside? I want to talk,” he mutters, his shy gaze flickering away from your face.

“Sure,” you reply simply, not wanting to seem too eager to see him.

Sunghoon stands awkwardly in the center of your room, facing your bed. It’s the first time he’s been inside, and it looks exactly how he imagined. Decorated in warm, earthy browns and soft greens, with dim yellow lights glowing in the corners and small plants perched on the windowsill. The familiar scent of your perfume lingers in the air, wrapping around him like a comforting embrace. He exhales slowly, feeling himself relax just a little.

His curious eyes never leave your silhouette as you quietly close the door and crawl back into the messy sea of blankets on your bed. He notices you’re wearing the same thing as the other day when he brought you tea. A plain, oversized deep blue T-shirt with no shorts. Sunghoon quickly shifts his gaze elsewhere before his body reacts to the sight of your exposed skin.

“Are you going to say something? Or just stand there in silence?” you tease, your eyes burning holes into him.

“I want to say I’m sorry. I never meant to say those things to you,” Sunghoon finally confesses, his voice quiet, his gaze still avoiding yours. “I was stressed and overwhelmed from work… I didn’t mean anything I said.”

As the last words leave his lips, Sunghoon’s warm brown eyes finally meet yours. The sight makes his chest ache; your eyes are still red and your face slightly swollen.

“Sunghoon, you can’t just say whatever you want and then blame it on stress. Those words… they… hurt me… more than I can even admit.” Your voice is low and unsteady, a knot forming in your throat as the words leave your mouth.

“I know, I know.” Sunghoon insists, stepping closer to your bed. “You’re absolutely right, and that’s why I couldn’t sleep until I came here to apologize. I’m sorry, Y/N. It won’t happen again.”

You hold his gaze until he finishes speaking, searching for any sign of insincerity. But the way his eyes soften reassures you that he means every word. Under his intense stare, you feel breathless, the air slipping away as his piercing eyes stay locked on yours. The tension in the room shifts in an instant, like a single spark igniting a space filled with gasoline. Frustrated, you throw yourself onto the bed, your back pressing into the mattress, legs slightly parted. You want to scold him for being so cruel, but your thoughts are a disorganized mess.

Sunghoon observes you in silence, his frustration growing. Your lack of response does nothing to ease the guilt twisting in his chest. He notices the way you cover your eyes with your arm, hiding from him. A sudden inappropriate thought crosses his mind, and a smirk tugs at his lips. Meticulously, he crawls onto the bed, positioning himself between your legs, his knee nudging them apart just enough to fit.

Your head snaps up instantly, and when you move your arm away, you’re met with Sunghoon. He is so close, you can feel his warm breath ghosting over your lips. Your cheeks flush under his intense stare, his dark eyes absorbing every inch of your face.

Still annoyed by your silence, he finally speaks.

“Do you forgive me, Y/N?” His voice is deeper, dripping with something that makes your stomach twist.

You want to resist, want to say something sharp, but instead, you just nod, too flustered to form a single word.

Suddenly, Sunghoon’s right hand gently pushes your right knee up, his warm fingers gliding over your calf in a slow, deliberate motion. A breath catches in your throat, your skin erupting in goosebumps at his touch. Then he leans in, his lips hovering near your ear as he whispers,

“I don’t like this silence you’re giving me. Use your words, princess. Tell me you forgive me for my stupid actions.”

You don’t know if it’s the unexpected nickname, the husky rasp of his voice, or the way his fingers continue their teasing path, trailing higher, leaving a burning sensation in their wake. Your eyes flutter shut as a soft, unintentional moan escapes your lips, your body betraying you under his touch.

And it feels exactly how you imagined it—confident yet gentle, just like Sunghoon.

“Sunghoon…” You manage, your throat dry as your eyes lock with his once again. “I forgive you…” you breathe out, still trying to steady yourself.

Sunghoon’s smirk deepens as he takes in your flustered state, his dark eyes gleaming with satisfaction.

“See? Was that so hard?” he whispers against your lips, and you swear they brushed against yours for the briefest second. Just as quickly as he settled on top of you, Sunghoon shifted, falling onto the bed beside you.

You turn onto your side to face him, and the smug smile on his lips says it all. He enjoyed teasing you and relished seeing you so helpless beneath him. Your gaze wanders over his face, taking in how effortlessly handsome he looks dressed casually, his black hair slightly tousled, and a playful smirk curving his lips. Half of his face is hidden behind his dark strands, making him look even more alluring.

Your eyes wander lower, and your breath catches at the sight of his bare neck and collarbones, the loose t-shirt draping off his shoulders. His pale skin is smooth, scattered with small beauty marks that you never noticed before. Heat rises to your cheeks as your curiosity gets the best of you, and your gaze dips even lower. The way he’s lying down causes his shirt to ride up, revealing a sliver of his toned waist. Your hungry eyes trace the lines of his abs down to his v-line, which is teasingly visible beneath the low-hanging waistband of his pants.

This is the first time you’ve ever seen your husband in such casual, revealing clothes, and it’s affecting you more than you expected. But before your gaze can travel any further, Sunghoon’s hand gently cups your chin, tilting your head up, so your eyes meet his again.

“My eyes are up here,” he teases, amusement flickering across his face.

You roll your eyes, feeling your cheeks burn even hotter. “Shut up,” you mutter, hating how easily he has you wrapped around his finger.

“I’m feeling so sleepy now,” Sunghoon sighs, ignoring your flustered state. Then he yawns, letting his body sink deeper into the mattress.

“Since you were good to me and apologized,” you say, trying to sound nonchalant as a tiny spark of confidence grows inside you. “You can sleep here with me tonight.”

Sunghoon lifts his head off the pillow, giving you a surprised look, as if not fully believing your words. Without another comment, you snuggle back under the covers and switch off the light on your nightstand. In the darkness, you turn your back to him, pressing your burning face into your pillow. The ghost of his earlier touch still lingers on your skin, making it impossible to calm your racing heart.

A moment later, you hear him shifting beneath the covers. Then, slowly, Sunghoon inches closer, his warmth seeping into your back as his arm snakes around your waist. He pulls you firmly against him, and you feel everything—his solid chest, the steady rise and fall of his breath, the way his legs press against yours. His head dips close to your ear, his hand sliding up, resting just below your chest.

“Thank you, princess. Good night,” he murmurs, his breath hot against your earlobe.

With a tight grip on your waist, you hear his breathing begin to slow. Your eyelids grow heavy too, and without resistance, you drift off in his arms. Outside, the full moon shines brightly in the vast, star-filled sky, casting its bluish light into your bedroom, illuminating your tangled bodies.

The night slips away quickly, and soon, the sun begins to rise, bringing warmth and light into the world. Inside your bedroom, you and your husband remain entwined, both of you breathing slow and steady.

Sunghoon scrunches his face in irritation as the bright morning rays reflect off his closed eyelids, forcing him to wake. He yawns, then carefully pulls his arm from under your head, needing to stretch his stiff body. Beside him, you sleep peacefully. Your hair is a mess, and soft snores are escaping your lips, but even like this, Sunghoon thinks you're the cutest woman alive.

Resisting the urge to reach out and brush his fingers against your serene face, he rubs his eyes and sits up, resting his back against the wooden headboard. The quiet atmosphere is comforting, and for a brief moment, he wishes it could always be like this—calm, steady, safe. He’s not sure if he can handle any more chaos.

His sleepy eyes wander around your bedroom, finally able to take it in fully in the daylight. As he scans the space, something catches his attention. A small frame on your nightstand, nestled beside the poetry book you always carry around. He leans forward to get a better view, but he is surprised that the picture inside is of a man.

He doesn’t seem much older than twenty, his blonde hair falling messily over his face as he makes a peace sign for the camera.

Sunghoon hesitates for a second before slowly leaning over your sleeping body, reaching for the frame. Just as his fingers curl around it, your body shifts, and suddenly, your face is too close to his.

“What are you doing?” you murmur sleepily, your eyes still closed.

Sunghoon grips the picture tightly before sitting back up, waiting for you to fully wake. He expects you to scold him—maybe even get mad for touching your things without permission, but instead, you simply roll onto your side, meeting his gaze with a soft, sad smile.

“Who is he?” Sunghoon asks cautiously, noticing the way your expression shifts despite the small grin on your lips.

“Nishimura Riki,” you say slowly, a lump forming in your throat. “He was my ex-husband.” The words feel heavy, and no matter how much time has passed, the pain still lingers.

Sunghoon watches you closely, sensing the weight behind your words. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks, his gaze unwavering, his tone gentle, trying to offer the same patience you always show him.

“Yeah, but maybe not now.”

The moment the words leave your lips, he nods silently and hands you the frame. He observes as your eyes flicker over the image, small tears forming as you stare.

Slowly, you set the frame back in its place, taking a deep breath as if trying to compose yourself. Sunghoon remains silent, but inside, confusion stirs. You’ve never mentioned being married before, not once. You’ve never even spoken another man’s name in front of him. And yet, the way you look at the picture sends a cold shiver down his spine.

Something about the entire situation feels… discomfiting.

“What should we do today?” Your voice breaks the comfortable silence. Slowly, you shift under the covers, resting your head on Sunghoon’s thighs and looking up at him.

“Do you want to go on a date with me?” he asks confidently, though his heart pounds in his chest. His hand drifts to your head, gently patting your hair.

You smile at him. “Of course I do, Sunghoon,” you reply, avoiding his gaze as a wave of shyness washes over you. The excitement bubbling inside makes you feel like a twelve-year-old girl falling in love for the first time.

“I’ll plan everything—you don’t have to worry about a thing!” he exclaims, his voice laced with excitement as he watches you fondly, his fingers threading deeper into your hair.

A peaceful silence settles between you, filled with the warmth of the blankets, the soft morning sunlight filtering through the curtains, and the soothing sensation of Sunghoon’s delicate fingers massaging your scalp. You stare at his face, admiring his cute moles and messy bed hair. Your tongue wets your lips as your gaze shifts to his plump lips, so inviting. It makes your stomach twist with the need to feel them against yours.

Sunghoon seems to sense the shift in your eyes because his fingers, that were in your hair, started to trail down to rest behind your neck. Slowly, he leans in, your sweet scent enveloping him as he lowers himself to reach your lips.

And once again, he stops just millimeters away, his warm breath ghosting over your eager lips. “We can't. Not yet,” Sunghoon whispers, turning his head at the last second. Instead, he presses a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. You close your eyes at the tender touch and pout as he pulls away.

“I know it’s frustrating, but I’m waiting for the right moment,” Sunghoon explains, his fingertips gently tracing your warm cheeks.

Then, he carefully guides you to sit up on the mattress before leaving the bed, and you watch him in confusion. Just when you thought Sunghoon couldn’t get any more handsome, he proves you wrong. He stands before you with a soft blush dusting his cheeks, neck, and ears.

“Wear something nice—we’re leaving in two hours,” he tells you with a bright smile, standing in the doorway with his hand on the doorknob.

You nod, biting your lip as your heart skips a beat under his gaze. His sharp fangs peek out as he grins at you one last time before disappearing through the door.

The atmosphere in your room will never be the same. His presence now engraved in your sheets.

“Can we go somewhere else before doing what you planned?” you interrupt the silence as the car comes to a stop at a red light. Turning to face Sunghoon, you watch as he furrows his brows before responding.

“Sure. Where do you need to go?” he asks, his eyes carefully flicking to the right mirror outside the car.

“The cemetery.”

This time, the silence that settles between you isn't comfortable or light. It’s suffocating. It eats away at your ability to breathe, making your chest ache. Sunghoon doesn’t ask any questions, and you’re grateful. You need all the courage you can muster to finally tell him about your ex-husband. Your unhappy gaze remains fixed on the window, the sight of the familiar place making you take a deep breath.

The sun blazes against your back as you and Sunghoon walk through the cemetery, the atmosphere heavy and uneasy. He follows a step behind, letting you lead the way. When your high heels click against the cement path, he realizes you’ve reached your destination.

You stop in front of a wall lined with unfamiliar names. Slowly, your delicate hands leave your pockets, reaching for a particular spot. Your fingertips softly graze over a familiar face, and as your teary eyes meet his, Sunghoon finally understands what was going on.

“He was such a sweet boy,” you begin, a melancholic smile forming on your lips as small tears start to fall. Sunghoon immediately steps forward, standing by your side. His hand finds yours, and he interlocks your fingers, silently giving you the strength to continue.

“Ni-ki and I grew up together; he was always there for me.” You pause, turning back to Ni-ki’s picture on his grave.

“What happened?” Sunghoon asks carefully, his thumb tracing gentle circles on the back of your hand.

“We were planning our wedding when we found out he had late-stage brain cancer,” you say, your voice trembling. “I was devastated. I cried every single day. But… he stayed positive, always smiling, even when his hair started falling out from chemotherapy. We knew he had only a few months left, so I put on my wedding dress and married him in the hospital. I wanted to be his wife before he…” Your voice cracks as fresh tears spill down your cheeks.

Sunghoon holds your shaking hands with unwavering care, his warmth grounding you.

“He died two days after we got married,” you whisper. “I was holding his hand. The last thing he said to me was, ‘I will always love you.’” Your breath hitches. “He was only twenty, and I was twenty-two. We were young, I know, but I couldn’t let him go without marrying him—”

A loud sob cuts off your words, your body trembling as grief crashes over you once again.

“It’s okay…” Sunghoon murmurs, pulling you into his embrace. His strong arms wrap around your waist, holding you as you cry into his chest. “I’m so sorry, princess,” he whispers, his voice tight with emotion. You don’t notice the warm tears slipping down his own face, his heart aching at the sight of you in pain.

“Ni-ki was my everything. He was my only reason to live,” you admit brokenly. “My mom hated me; my dad was gone… I only had him. After he passed, I fell into a deep depression. I barely ate for months, and no one cared. Then, one day, I received a bill. A heavy debt that Ni-ki’s relatives refused to pay. He grew up in foster care, so no one cared about him. No one but me. Instead of telling me, he tried to cover the medical costs himself with what little he made from teaching dance classes. But it wasn’t enough. That’s why I agreed to marry you,” you finally confess, your voice barely above a whisper. “Your father said he’d pay off the debt if I accepted.”

Sunghoon tightens his hold on your hands, his gaze never leaving yours.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t love again.” Your voice trembles as you press your fingers together, nervous. “But then… you showed up.” You lower your gaze to your hands, too scared to look at him. “At first, I hated you. Then I started to accept you. Then I understood you. And now…Now I’m afraid of what I feel for you.”

Sunghoon gently tilts your chin up, forcing your eyes to meet his. His gaze is so warm, so deep, that for a moment, the whole world disappears, leaving just the two of you.

“I’m not afraid of what I feel for you,” he whispers. His thumb caresses your tear-streaked cheeks with infinite tenderness. “I never knew you were all I needed… but now that I have you, I won’t let you go.”

A smile grows on both of your faces as he speaks, love dripping from his words. You rest your head against his chest as you hug him, craving the comfort of his embrace and his familiar scent. Sunghoon hugs you back, pressing a kiss to your hair before resting his chin on top of your head.

You remain entangled in each other for a few moments, your gaze fixed on your ex-lover’s grave. You wish Ni-ki could understand how much you loved him and Sunghoon. The two men are so different, yet so alike. You hope he isn’t upset that you’ve made space in your heart for someone else, despite him never truly leaving.

The sun remains high in the sky, its warmth easing the ache in your chest. When you look up at Sunghoon, you find that he’s already watching you, making you smile.

“We can go now,” you assure him, taking a deep breath.

Sunghoon intertwines his fingers with yours as you walk back to his car. “Thank you for telling me this. I know it wasn’t easy.” His voice is laced with genuine affection, his smile soft.

“I felt like it was time.”

“Was Ni-ki as patient as you?” Sunghoon asks, encouraging you to talk about your ex-lover so that remembering him won’t hurt as much.

“He was way more patient than me.” You smile. “I learned patience from him. Mostly because he loved to get on my nerves. At first, I hated how childish he could be because I was never allowed to be. But he showed me kindness, love…” Your voice trails off as memories of his playful nature resurface. His loud laughter echoed through the small apartment you once shared, his grin mischievous as he ran from you, clutching your favorite chocolate half-eaten in his hands.

Sunghoon catches your smile in the rearview mirror as he drives to your date’s destination. The conversation remains on the same topic throughout the ride, with him asking questions about Ni-ki and enjoying the way you recount your memories—your voice filled with both excitement and tenderness.

Sunghoon could have never imagined you had gone through all of this. You always seem so calm and collected, as if you always know exactly what to do and say.

“Woah, what is this place?” you ask sarcastically, laughing as you spot the bold red letters of the sign above the building. “The movie theater?”

“It’s cliché, I know,” Sunghoon admits while carefully parking his car, his gaze flicking back to the rearview mirror. “But it’s perfect for a date. Plus, I haven’t been here in so long, and there’s this horror movie I really wanted to watch with you!” He explains as he turns off the engine, finally looking at you.

You adjust your black dress and nod, charmed by his adorable way of thinking. “Shall we?”

Sunghoon quickly gets out of the car and rushes to your side, opening the door for you. A giggle escapes your lips at the gentlemanly gesture, your heart skipping a beat. After closing the car door, he walks beside you, an arm wrapped around your waist and a smile engraved on his lips.

The theater is bustling with people and loud chatter. The queue seems endless, but after a few minutes, you finally get your tickets.

The movie room is packed, with not a single empty seat in sight. You steal a quick glance at Sunghoon, only to realize he’s already looking at you. He hands you the popcorn, and as you grab a handful, a few pieces spill onto the floor. He gives you a stern look, and you suppress a smile.

The movie turns out to be scarier than you expected. With every bloody scene on the screen, you squeeze your eyes shut and instinctively lean closer to Sunghoon. He notices your discomfort in the dimly lit space and reaches for your hand, his touch warm and reassuring. You hold onto him tightly whenever something terrifying happens, making him smile at your cute reactions.

“That was… something else,” you murmur as you toss the empty popcorn container into the trash while walking out of the theater.

Sunghoon chuckles. “I thought you liked horror movies.”

“I like horror, not gore. And that was all gore!” you pout, earning a laugh from him.

Suddenly, he stops mid-step and turns to face you. His hands reach for your cheeks, gently pulling at them, making you squirm under his touch. “You’re so cute,” he teases, his eyes locked onto yours.

You bite your bottom lip, trying to suppress a smile. “Obviously,” you reply, pulling his hands away from your slightly sore cheeks.

“Are you hungry?” Sunghoon asks as you resume walking.

“I’m always hungry,” you respond teasingly, shaking your head dramatically.

He laughs again. “Let’s get dinner then.”

He opens the car door for you, giving you space to slide inside. Once you’re seated, you glance up at him with a nod, and he circles the car before driving to the restaurant.

Your mouth falls open in awe as you step inside. The restaurant is decorated in black and red, with tall windows and dim lighting that gives the place an intimate, sensual atmosphere. Sunghoon smiles at your reaction, admiring the way you take in the space.

He stands beside you, his hand resting on your lower back as he guides you to a table tucked away from the main dining area, the spot he always chooses, right by the window.

As Sunghoon pulls out the chair for you to sit in, he finally takes a moment to admire you. To his surprise, your dark, smoky eye-look remains perfectly intact despite the earlier tears, and your lips are still stained red from the new lip tint you bought. The black silk dress you wear drapes elegantly over your figure, hugging you in all the right places. A delicate pearl necklace rests against your collarbone, making your skin look even more alluring than usual.

The menu is already on the table, so you take the initiative and browse through it, still unsure of what to eat. Your gaze drifts to the prices, and your eyes widen in shook. If you had never married him, dining here wouldn’t even be an option.

“Shall we order steak?” Sunghoon asks, breaking the silence. You quickly glance at him, your eyes shining with excitement.

“Yes!” you respond with a smile. “And to drink… rosé wine?” You pout slightly, knowing your husband prefers red.

“Of course, princess. Whatever you want—today is all about you.” He flirts, flashing you a seductive smirk, his dimples on full display.

A sweet waitress takes your order, but your attention remains fixed on your husband. Sunghoon looks exceptionally handsome tonight, with his black hair neatly styled back, and a pair of thin glasses resting on his nose. He wears a simple white button-up shirt paired with a black blazer, but the confidence in his demeanor makes even the simplest outfit look effortlessly refined.

“You’re staring…” Sunghoon murmurs, trying to suppress a smile. His ears grow warm under your passionate gaze. Those beautiful doe eyes of yours will be his downfall.

“Sorry, you just look so handsome tonight, husband.” You compliment him with a grin.

“Thank you, wife. You look absolutely stunning, too,” Sunghoon flirts back, another smirk threatening to break across his lips.

The dinner passes slowly, filled with lingering glances and playful jokes. You feel calm and safe as Sunghoon shares funny stories about his old friends, his charming smile captivating you more and more. He remains attentive throughout the evening, always checking to ensure your glass is never empty and helping you cut your steak when the pieces prove difficult. His caring nature is one of your favorite things about him—because you’ve spent your whole life being the one to take care of others, when he takes care of you, it touches an area deeper in your heart.

Now, you walk side by side along the vast road by the Han River, enjoying the occasional cool breeze brushing against your skin. The moon has begun to rise, its glow casting a silver shimmer over the moving water. You pause to admire it, drawn to the soothing sound of the waves.

“The moon looks so beautiful tonight,” you remark, stealing a quick glance at Sunghoon. He stands behind you, his eyes glued to your figure. The gentle wind causes your dress to ripple, accentuating your curves.

“It’s beautiful,” he agrees, stepping forward and wrapping his arms around your waist. “But not as beautiful as you.”

“You’ve been so flirty.” You tilt your head slightly to look at him.

“You don’t like it?” He raises an eyebrow teasingly.

“I do… It’s just…” You pause, locking eyes with him. “I have to get used to it, that’s all.” A soft smile curves your lips as you turn fully to face your husband.

Sunghoon realizes this moment is perfect. You’re smiling, your cheeks slightly flushed from the wine, looking like an absolute goddess under the moonlight. He slowly slides an arm around your waist again, pulling you closer, his heartbeat hammering in his chest as he leans in.

Your hands grow slightly clammy as you grasp his wrist, your lips parting in anticipation—hoping, waiting for him to claim you as his. And then he finally does.

The moment his warm lips meet yours, the air leaves your lungs. Butterflies erupt in your stomach, and a smile blossoms on your lips. Sunghoon feels it against his own as he kisses you, and it makes his head spin.

Uncertain if he should go further, he starts to pull away, but your hands fly up to his face, pulling him back toward you, craving more. He gets the message, and he’s more than happy to oblige. His lips move against yours with slow, deliberate care, savoring your taste.

Your tongue brushes against his bottom lip, silently asking for entrance, and he grants it—just this once. You take the lead, eagerly deepening the kiss, your tongue tangling with his in a slow, intoxicating rhythm.

When Sunghoon finally runs out of air, he pulls away, breathless but utterly satisfied. You rest your forehead against his, relishing the feeling of his breath fanning over your damp lips.

If you had any doubts before, now they’ve completely disappeared.

You love him.

Jiwon stares blankly at the white wall of her bedroom. The lights are dim, the room is warm, and she sits on the edge of the bed while a handsome man sits beside her. His fingers trace invisible shapes on her exposed waist as his lips occupy themselves with her neck, biting and sucking the soft skin.

It’s like she can see them right in front of her when she closes her eyes, the memories making her skin crawl. She had thought Sunghoon was distant because the company was taking up all his time, but she was wrong. And that is what pisses her off the most.

The man beside her presses down on her shoulders, causing her to lie flat on the mattress—but she isn’t there. She’s long gone, lost in the sight of you. She wanted to laugh when she caught you and Sunghoon at the restaurant she used to love. How dare he bring you to her favorite place?

At first, Jiwon thought she was imagining things, but Sunghoon’s face was impossible to mistake. She watched you both the entire time—how you laughed at his jokes, how his eyes lingered on your face, how at ease he seemed with you. She envies it badly. But deep down, she knows it was her fault for crushing his confidence.

As she closes her eyes to relive the moment, the man is now on top of her, unbuttoning her corset and completely unaware of how distant she is. Not that she minds. She chose him to make her forget about this stupid night. After watching you two have dinner, Jiwon followed you to the Han River. She needed to see just how close you two really were.

She had expected some light skinship, but when she saw Sunghoon lean in and kiss you, she lost control. Hot, salty tears streamed down her cheeks as she turned away, heading back to her car. She wasn’t sad, she was furious. How could Sunghoon move on so quickly? How could he kiss you like that for everyone to see?

Jiwon was shaking by the time she reached her car, and once inside, she screamed until her throat burned. Her hands trembled as she pounded against the steering wheel, feeling betrayed, humiliated, and replaced.

Now, back in the present, she lets out a soft moan as the stranger’s fingers trail up the inside of her bare thighs.

A perfect plan begins to take shape in her mind as his hand ventures higher, grazing over her underwear. The plan will be flawless. She just has to enjoy her night first.

As the man slowly and teasingly pulls her panties down, she allows herself to relax—while a malicious scheme lingers at the edge of her thoughts.

Taglist: @grandlightcandy @seokseokjinkim @strxwbloody @enhasunghoonishot @contyynishimura @heewanrik @ranwonbin @leanderexists @lovelyyf @youngheejay @crimson-reaper576 @rikifever @mrsjjongstby @laurradoesloveu @babyboomysweetie @mintchocos-things @nxzz-skz @saphiranishimurashan @ikeupups @yangjungwonnie @xiiaobaoo @itsuen @laylasbunbunny @mellowgalaxystrawberry @firstclassjaylee @questionsdearreader @greeyjre @en-doll @riqomi @lovingvoidgoatee @mitmit01 @miuwonis @aureliaaaa555 @han-to-my-minho @heeweenie @vixensss @ro-diares @hoonvinx @immelissaaa @jiryunn @quilevyt @vrusha01 @kkamismom12 @skzenhalove @theothernads @moonpri @nicoleparadas @fightqueen @heesunghooney @starl0ver4 @jooniesbears-blog @k1arar3 @riri-lvs-food @kolawnk @mitmit01 @dummyf @tender-is-the-moon @dksfml @tobiosbbyghorl @loveydoveyez @beomieeeeeeeeeeees @hhyvsstuff @moondooll @enchantedtomeetyou

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[supercimi]

This drabble is inspired by this art by @dharmaart

Old friend

The passing times and years has taught me, many lessons.

Some cruel, other kind, all the time, every time.

There was always a lesson to be taught, be it with people, places, plants and especially with animals.

Although, I wouldn't know what any of it looks like, but I learned to guess its shape. However much I could

My hands would cradle every inch. Sometimes, I would hug what I could, if simply to gauge its size.

This method proved great with people and animals, but. It was pretty useless with some plants and constructions

Flowers felt incredibly soft while trees felt incredibly harsh, but much like constructions, I couldn't make out their proper size nor shape

Also, I can't gauge how big a house is by hugging it! I'm no giant!

But, what made me the happiest, is how easy it was to picture you my friend.

Your long mane and stout back, your goofy face and lively ears.

Although we couldn't speak the same language, I got you, and I felt that you got me as well.

Learning how to care for you was pretty hard, but not harder than getting to know you.

All those puzzling brushes you needed were nothing compared to your mischief!

Whenever I would pat your back, you would simply move until I was patting your head!

And whenever I needed to pick your hoofs, you would keep pulling them back every five minutes!

My dad told me that since you learned you could pull it back from me mid grooming, there was no stopping you from that trick, and he was right!!

Still, despite all those challenges, I cared for you myself!

At first, I needed someone to guide me through it, but time after time, I slowly got the hang of it, even if I couldn't see a thing.

All my life, I lived in dimmed night, I couldn't grasp any shape no matter how the others describe it to me, even when I cradled or hugged or touched whatever they described, it was simply a vague fog to my mind,

The only thing i could picture, is you.

Maybe it was all those times i needed to brush your mane, or the many times i walked by your side on the grounds, or even the playful moments when you would roll on the ground and gently tug me to your side.

Somehow or someway.

I knew how you looked like,

I was never someone to dabble in creative stuff, especially drawing, but just for today, i decided to draw how i pictured you to be.

As hard as it proved to be, I also found out how easily you come to mind. It made the process a little easier on my clumsy hands.

Even if i never saw you, even if i can never touch you again,even if we can't play together again.

In this piece of parchment, your memories will always stay. And last but not least, thank you, old friend.

For staying with me all this time, for trotting around with me all this time, it's okay now, it's alright now.

I still can't fathom having a partner other than you, but... little by little, I'm moving on

In my heart, i still pray that someday, a maybe far away someday, or who knows maybe a very near someday?

I pray that we meet again

Maybe then, i will be able to actually see you. To play with you and hug you, to give you all the scratches that you so love.

For all eternity, but, until then.

Goodbye, old friend.

A study of a horse drawn with pencil on paper

[zepskies]

hiiii, i hope your friday is going well lovely 💞💞 :) how has your week been?💕

i’m currently stuck at work and it’s beeeeeen quite the day already, but you always cheer me up so i have a random question :p

i’m thinking about the scene when dean tried cafe con leche in the midnight espresso-verse (also i’m a barista loll🥲), and he was pleasantly surprised, so it has me wondering;

if they were to get something besides plain coffee, what do you think dean/ben/beau/russell would like to drink if they ordered at a coffee shop?

i always love to hear any and all your thoughts 🙂‍↕️🤍

Hello my lovely! 💞💞 I actually am in recovery this week after having a surgical procedure yesterday, so I'm finally getting a chance to catch up on my TBR reading and the shows I've had on my watchlist. 🤪

Ooh introducing Dean to Cuban espresso was the scene that inspired that whole fic of Midnight Espresso, and ultimately turned it into a whole series of Dean x plus-sized Latina fun!! lol

This is such a fun question though!! You as a barista probably know way more about coffee than I do, but here's my take on these guys' orders...

HEADCANON: What Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen, Soldier Boy (Ben), and Russell Shaw would order at a coffee shop. ☕

Dean Winchester

Why, an espresso of course! 🤎

Cram that little cup full of sugar, and you've got Dean hooked on a heavy-hitter fix that'll keep him up during long research sessions. (It also gives you the opportunity to distract him from said research, give him a taste of another steamy fix. 😘❤️‍🔥)

Beau Arlen

Ooh I feel like he'd protest at first and claim to solely drink Americanos, but he's a basic latte guy.

Hit him with some caramel or hazelnut, and he's happy. But you could also hook him into being a little adventurous with a pistachio or "brown sugar" latte lol. Like most things, Beau is willing to try almost anything once. 😉

Soldier Boy (Ben)

So he's definitely going to be thrown by all the modern selections of coffee. (i.e. "What the fuck is oatmilk?") And how the hell can you get milk out of cashews and almonds?

All the health crazes, "drip" coffee, and milk alternatives are definitely going over his head, or he's mocking them. ("Save that pussy drink for Hughie." 💀)

But one thing he might go for, other than a black coffee, is a nice cold brew, hold off on too much foam -- can't be getting the milkstache, now can he? But he'll like it even better if you make it "Irish." 💚

Russell Shaw

Last but certainly not least, we have Russell! I don't think he's picky about his coffee, considering he probably drinks a lot of free motel coffee. lol

But! I think he'd appreciate a nice flat white at a proper café. It's more robust than a normal cappuccino and less milk, so he'd argue that he's getting more "bang for his buck." 😂

AN: @wvffles Hope you liked this little headcanon, friend, and that it cheers you up! I LOVE me some coffee, so this question with the guys was really fun to contemplate. 😘☕

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Dean, Beau, Soldier Boy + Russell Tag List (Part 1)

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@mrlonelycat @deans-daydream @leigh70 @aylacavebear @kmc1989

@siampie @rubyvhs @winchestergirl2 @winchester-whiskey

[starpoweredv1b]

have you ever thought of muscular MC

Like... Something about claymore wielding airheaded MC does things to me.

I'm sure it'd scratch something in the LL's brains too. Maybe Zayne's mommy issue having ass would dream of just being choked to literal death by the boobies. Sylus would probably love to wrestle and end up in physics breaking positions and end up gasping for air between MC's gargantuan muscular thighs.

Anywaysss, not as 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, but my brain juice is dry and my thighs happens to be thick with nothing to lay upon it

hi anon!! YOU'RE SO REAL ACTUALLY i have never thought about this but i feel like the boys would be so horny for a muscle mommy putting them in their place (believe it or not even xavier despite his dom-ish tendencies) this also made me think about mc pegging them while holding them in a headlock whewwwwww. thank you for planting this seed in my head actually. also i volunteer as tribute to lay upon thine thighs or however the saying goes ♡

the first time sylus is eating you out and you instinctively clench your thighs, he swears he felt all his sins be absolved and his soul instantly granted heaven. enveloped in you, tasting you, smelling you, he had never been so hard to the point of hurting in his goddamn life. he would have the most glazed dilated eyes as he goes pussy drunk, rutting the air pathetically the more you grinded on that crazy angled nose slope of his.

zayne would quite literally be the type to attempt to breastfeed from your tits i fear. and at work whenever someone mentions some biological terms for muscles, he might have to go rub one out in the toilet because he keeps thinking of the way your muscles ripple and tighten aroumd him when he's buried deep inside, waist crushed into nothing (because his waist was never there to begin with. body is tea as fuck). if you ever suggested pegging, he may or may not be extra sensitive and start cumming all over the sheets when you do.

xavier would be reluctant to openly agree for you to peg him but halfway through as his head is held in the crook of your bicep and elbows, thrusting into him with his ass smacking against the firm of your thighs. he would cum way too fast and way more than usual too. we're talking like big spurts. aftercare may or may not involve you having to let him fuck you like a rabbit during mating season because he has so much left to give and a huge favour to repay for making him go feral the way you did.

rafayel would be sending memes of being pegged and dommed by you as hints that are definitely anything but subtle. he'd be a literal housewife if you only asked. he would literally be so inspired and reverent of your physique he might make a statue of you based on an intimate polaroid of the view he has when you're giving his a firm thigh job. the way his dick slid against the ridges of your muscles, the way you were strong enough to hold him down when you're riding him, it makes him salivate everytime.

caleb is the type to loveeeee play fighting turned sex because let's be honest, that man is a freak of nature. he'd say he's way stronger than you, wrestling with lesser fear because he knows you can take it. so regardless of the end result, either him holding your thighs down and open as he carves your pussy out with his dick, fingers gripping the muscles and getting impossibly harder in your warm pussy, or you holding his head crushed against the valley of your tits as you bounce on his cock. to him, a win is a win.

[hoonieyun]

a lovesick girl's guide to heartbreak

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ best friend's bf!jay x reader breakup with your girlfriend cause i'm bored... summary: being invited to your best friend's birthday was nothing out of the ordinary, until you finally meet her boyfriend and he just seems to be the man of your dreams.

warnings: drinking, alcohol, kissing, consensual skinship, jay and yn are not good people, cheating, profanity, 18+ not proof read lol wc: 3347

hoonieyun notes: okay so this was supposed to be inspired by ariana grande's song but i kind of didn't want to write it where yn was the one initiating the cheating so i just kind of flipped it around lol anyways i hope you guys enjoy this one was wild djfdfj

going to your best friend’s birthday wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, she was your best friend after all; so celebrating her on her big day was something you were obligated to do. she had mentioned her new boyfriend would also be there and said that she wanted this to be a moment where she could introduce him to all of her friends. you didn’t mind much since you were happy she found someone to love and support her but did find it strange that it would be at a house party but that’s just how your best friend was. she was the party girl.

you and your best friend weren’t the most unsuspecting duo, you were both wild, fun, and hunted for the thrill. she, however, was the life of the party while you simply just enjoyed the energy of the party. in a lot of ways you two fit really well together because you loved to party and she was the party. 

as you get ready for your best friend’s party, there are several things on your mind, such as what her new boyfriend was like. they’ve only been together for a few weeks and she’s kept him more private in comparison to her past relationships so there was an air of mystery around him. another thing on your mind was the fact that you were definitely going to try to find a boy to be your distraction for the night as you try to forget your ex-boyfriend who you broke up with just the week before. it was your best friend’s birthday so of course you were going to go no matter what but a part of you was still sad over your breakup and figured that this party would be the best way to release some steam. 

killing two birds with one stone by celebrating your best friend and finding a new boy to occupy your mind for the night. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

the party was in full swing when you arrived, stepping out of your uber but not before thanking the sweet old man who was your uber driver, the music coming from your friend’s house was so loud it muffled the sound of the car driving away. 

she always knows how to throw a party, you thought to yourself with a smile as you prepare yourself to have the time of your life. 

unbeknownst to you the type of chaos that would ensue in the night. 

you weaved your way through the crowd, sending a text to your best friend that you had arrived. in the meantime, you stopped by her kitchen, knowing that there would be several alcoholic beverages ready; and indeed there was. you helped yourself to a hard seltzer, choosing to start off light and would pick it up when you found your friend so you could get shitfaced with her. 

having long and pretty nails were fun, you got to choose the designs and you always got complimented on them but one of the downsides was the fact that it made opening cans the hardest task in the world. you feared you were going to break your nail if you tried to open the can of hard seltzer and because you weren’t in the mood for hard liquor just yet, you didn’t know what to do. 

“need some help with that?” a low voice that was unfamiliar to you says from behind and as you turn around, you’re faced with a man with striking features. a sharp nose matched with fierce eyes that bore into your face, lips that shined under the light of the kitchen, and with how truly striking he was; he exuded a certain type of warmth and softness; contrasting his features. 

“uh- um yeah.” you said, as you hand the can over to him– to which he opens with ease. you chuckle at how easy it was for him and he smiles at your bashfulness; you had never felt this way meeting a man for the first time. usually they were the one to swoon and be heartstopped by you; but right now– you were utterly speechless at the man standing before you. 

“what’s your name, mystery girl?” he asks and you take the can he’s offering back to you. 

you shake your head to break out of the trance he had put you in with just his face so you could answer; “yn” you answer and he nods. “beautiful name. enjoy the party, ok? if you need help opening more cans, come find me.” he says with a wink as he’s exiting the kitchen as if that was his sole duty. to come in there, leave you starstruck, help you out, and then leave. 

you’re blinking rapidly when he leaves, trying to understand what had just happened, it had happened so fast that you’re now realizing you hadn’t even gotten the mystery man’s name. you take several gulps of the hard seltze to get yourself together, you weren’t about to let this man leave you in so much awe and not get a piece of him. you officially have found your distraction for the night but before you could hone in on your target; you needed to find your best friend who still hasn’t texted you back. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

it’s about 45 minutes and several missed calls later when you finally see your best friend, to which is no surprise, who is at the center of the dance floor. you figured that probably was the first place you should’ve checked– you squeeze past all of the bodies on the dance floor and when you finally make your way to your best friend, her face lights up instantly.

“yn!!! babe!! you’re here!!” she shouts loud enough you heard her perfectly fine through the music that was causing the walls of her home to shake. “where have you been, girl?” she asks and you explain that you tried to call her several times to find her and to let her know you had arrived but she never answered. 

“ugh, sorry! my boyfriend took my phone to charge it upstairs because it’s always dead!” she explains and you nod in response. her phone was always dead and it was a big thing with her ex-boyfriends. they always used to get so angry at her because her phone would die as the two of you would be at the height of the night at a club. this boyfriend, however, seems to be on the right path in making sure she’s taken care of as far as phone battery goes. 

“speaking of, let me introduce you to him! i need to find him.” she says, running out from the dance floor and to, you assume, her bedroom to grab her phone that was charging. you laugh at your best friend’s actions; very clear that she was a lot further in her drunkedness than you were. 

once again you find yourself alone at her party, greeting and smiling at the people you recognized as you return to the kitchen after finishing your drink. this time, opting for a few shots of tequila to catch up to your best friend. 

you’re on your third shot, pouring your fourth, when a familiar voice slightly startles you. “slow down, the bottle isn’t going to run away from you.” he says and when you look up, it’s none other than the mystery man who you ran into earlier. you down the shot you just poured, face puckering at the bitterness as you chase it with a lime you found in your friend’s fridge. “no, it won’t run away but if i don’t finish the bottle someone else will and then it’ll be gone so i’ve got to beat someone to it.” you explains and the two of you laugh. 

his laugh was so sweet it made you instantly forget about the bitter taste lingering in your throat. 

you offer him a shot and he kindly accepts, slightly tapping your shot glass with his as the two of you lock eyes before taking the shot. once again, biting into the lime to chase the shot and what he does next leaves you immobile. 

he grabs the lime from your hands right after you’ve just pulled it away from your lips and he brings it up to his own, sucking and biting onto the last drops of lime juice in the fruit and tossing it into the trash behind you when he’s finished. his features go from sharp to soft in an instant as the sting of the alcohol leaves his mouth. biting your lips at his action, you’re instantly surprised at the bold behavior, a smirk spreading on his lips when he notices your reaction. 

“there you are! oh! looks like the two of you have met!” your best friend appears in the kitchen, joining you and the mystery man at her kitchen counter. “ooh! shots!!” she says, grabbing the bottle from your hands and pouring one for the three of you. you all take the shot together and once again are all reaching for a lime to chase the drink with, however, this time he grabs the lime from your best friend’s hands after she’s done and does the same exact thing he had just done with you moments before your friend arrived. 

“oh, right! yn, this is my boyfriend jay. jay, this is my best friend, yn! she’s like a sister to me so you guys have to get along or else i’ll cry. she’s probably going to be my maid of honor when we get married…” your best friend was now rambling but you were able to tune her out as your eyes zone in solely on the boy in front of you. 

the mystery man that had your heart beating faster than it should’ve just happened to be your best friend’s new boyfriend. 

“earth to yn?” she says, waving her hand in front of your face when she’s noticed you had spaced out. “she always gets like this when she’s drunk, probably the tequila.” she says to jay. you’re snapping out of your thoughts at the word “tequila”, choosing to change the topic and energy between the three of you by pouring another round for the birthday girl. 

“happy birthday to you, my best friend!” you toast to her, all the while you’re mind is only on the boy standing across from you whose eyes haven’t left your body not once since his girlfriend and your best friend had joined the two of you. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

you’ve decided that avoiding jay was the only way you could go on for the rest of the night. you weren’t even completely sure where your best friend went after she had introduced you to him, even though you had definitely met prior, but you were trying your best to busy yourself with more drinks and mingling with friends to avoid the feeling inside of you. 

was it guilt? guilty that you had shared such an intimate moment with your best friend’s boyfriend. 

or was it anxiety? anxious that your best friend would find out and you’d be known as the homewrecker who ruined your best friend’s relationship on her birthday. 

or was it… love? did you love jay? you barely even knew the guy but the minimal interactions you’ve had with him had left you feeling like you were falling for him. 

whatever it was, you were downing alcohol left and right to supress the feeling. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

whenever you’d see jay in the corner of your eye or he’d enter the same room you were in, you’d make an excuse that you needed to leave. 

“sorry, need to use the bathroom.”

“ugh, my cup is empty. i’m gonna grab another.”

“god, it’s hot in here. i’m gonna get some air.”

you shouldn’t have ever said the last one because as you’re stepping out into your best friend’s backyard, jay is right on your tail. 

“you’re not avoiding me, are you yn?” he says, a teasing smirk on his face like he knew exactly what he was doing. you shook your head, deciding that you weren’t even going to say a word to him. “really?” he asks, walking closer to you; his face merely inches from yours. you could smell the alcohol on his tongue but the only thing you could focus on was the fact that he made you feel like you were the only girl in the world. 

moments before he’s about to close the gap between the two of you, you push him away, causing him to stumble backwards. a chuckle escapes from his lips as he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, clearly a bit aggravated at your sudden actions. 

“this is wrong.. you’re girlfriend is my best friend.” you say quietly, afraid that someone would hear but considering everyone, including your best friend, were all too busy getting drunk and dancing to the music inside, no one was going to hear the two of you. 

“yeah, but you can’t tell me this isn’t fun..” jay says, repositioning himself so he was right in front of you again. brushing away the hair from your face and tucking it behind your ear. “so pretty…” he whispers and it sends shivers down your spine; he could probably see the goosebumps rise on your shoulders. 

jay’s eyes trail on the exposed skin of your neck and clavicle. hands following his eyes as they slightly graze your skin, his touch leaving a burning sensation that you just couldn’t pull yourself away from. 

without thinking, you push him away once again and run back inside. not because you were afraid of what he was about to do, no. you were afraid that if you stayed for just a few seconds logner, you would’ve just let him do it without thinking about how much it word hurt your best friend. 

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ 

the rest of the night goes without a hitch, you don’t see jay after what happened in the backyard and thankfully your best friend seems to not know anything since she was still drunkedly and happily partying long after all of the people had left. 

it’s 3am when the last of the guests leave and you’ve stuck around to help your best friend clean up a bit but she’s way too drunk to even stand so jay helps her to her room so she can get some rest.

he says that it’s so she can rest but deep down you know it’s because he wants to get you alone and if that means putting his drunk girlfriend to bed, then so beit. 

you’re throwing cans and red solo cups into a trash bag when jay walks back downstairs after he’s tucked her into bed. “let me help you with that.” he says, reaching for the bag in your hands which was pretty stuffed and as he reaches over, you snatch it away; flinching backwards to create some distance between the two of you. 

“jay…” you warn him and he looks down and smiles before returning his gaze back onto you. “do i make you nervous, yn?” he asks, walking towards you and this time there isn’t anywhere to retreat to as you’re stuck between him and the wall behind you. 

“she’s asleep, no one will know.” it was like he had this planned out and you knew that he must’ve had it planned out because he takes the opportunity to take the trash bag out of your hands when you’re too stunned to speak, tossing it to the side so he could get closer to you. 

“what do you say, huh?” he asks, cupping your face with his large hand. 

this was so wrong in so many ways but why weren’t you fighting him off? he was your best friend’s boyfriend for christ’s sake but with the way you two were standing right now, anyone would think he was yours and you were his. 

he doesn’t give you the opportunity to answer before he’s connecting your lips with his, the kiss starting off sweet and gentle, like he was testing the waters, and when you finally give in and kiss him back, it becomes more heated. like he was hungry for the taste of your lips and was the thing he wanted all night. it satiated him in ways that you wouldn’t understand and quite frankly, would never understand. 

“why are you doing this?” you ask, slightly pushing him off of you. 

jay just shrugs with a pout, “do you not like it? if you don’t i’ll stop… but it doesn’t seem like you want me to stop.” he says. the ball was now in your court. 

in the several hours you’ve known jay you’ve learned one thing. 

he’ll get what he wants and he’ll do whatever it takes. 

you’ve realized that he was completely fine with cheating on your best friend with you and was encouraging you to be okay with it too. you’ve already done the action, kissing jay means he’s cheated on your best friend and to twist the knife further; it was with her best friend. jay put the ball in your court because he had no problem doing any of this. he’ll get what he wants and go back to his girlfriend, conscience free as if he didn’t commit infidelity. 

he’ll probably go back to her room upstairs and slip into the empty spot beside her on her bed and sleep soundly knowing what he had just done. 

he put the ball in your court because he knew how much this would eat at you. like he knew you’d have this internal battle with chasing what your heart wanted but what your brain was denying you of. you weren’t sure if he knew about your recent break, like your best friend were to have mentioned it in passing, but it was only adding to the fact that you were heartbroken and had planned to find a boy tonight to mend your heart even if it was just for tonight. 

jay knew in the small time he’s known you that you would fall for him. your best friend had told him of all the stories of your ex-boyfriends being shitty and how you could never find the right man, to which she’d follow with how happy she was to have found jay, a man who would “treat her right”. jay could see the gears turning in your head as you thought about what you should do. 

were you going to let the weight of heartbreak lead you down a path that would be irrepairable once broken, much like you are now. broken..

or were you going to do the right thing and let yourself continue to be heartbroken if it meant that you would be doing right by your best friend. 

but when jay connects his lips with yours once again, you don’t pull away and jay takes this as the answer he was looking for. the answer he wanted. he had you and he wasn’t going to let go even if it’s just for tonight. neither of you knew if what you felt for each other was love, hell, it could just be the alcohol talking; but tonight you were his and he was yours. 

your best friend slept soundly upstairs in her bedroom as you and her boyfriend explored one another right below where she slept.

when you’re kissing jay like it was the last time, and it should be but a part of you was saying it wasn’t going to be with the way jay was holding and kissing you like you were the love of his life, you realized what that feeling was inside of you from earlier. 

greed. you were greedy and everything you had done tonight was done out of greed. 

but if greed would help mend your broken heart and would have jay kissing you so sweetly, then maybe you didn’t mind being greedy.

"breakup with your girlfriend, i'm bored" ariana grande the usage of song lyrics is credited to the artist above

copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved

all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.

if you enjoyed reading this please consider reblogging and following <3

heart not broken enough? let's try again... ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

ᡣ•.•𐭩♡ @pagemiah @jiiyen @jnysaln @xh01bri @rairaiblog @laurradoesloveu @17ericas @manaah02 @heeseung64 @zorange13 @firstclassjaylee @leipforggy

@river-demon-slayer @ikeulove @fluerz @pjselee @multistansimp4life @yunthejin @urmomdotcom5678 @heebear @mora134340

[nymphaea-blue]

Oneshot - Rafayel would be good with kids.

Info : 1400+ word count, reader and Rafayel are dating, reader is referred to as a female, fluff, mentions of missing someone, perhaps hurt/comfort, small allusion to the possibility of having kids with him in the future towards the end, Tina is in fact made up and doesn't exist within Love and Deepspace lore.

Notes : Rafayel is giving me amazing older brother vibes and that's what inspired this ^^,

Rafayel would be good with kids.

Your coworker, Tara, has a younger sister named Tina that you were charged with taking care of because Tara was needed urgently at work. You didn't mind, she was your good friend and since her sister was around 7, you didn't think it would be a big issue.

The first hour or two went great, you two had fun and as it turned out, Tina was a great kid, pretty shy but smart and well behaved. Later on however, you got a call from Jenna, the situation Tara was tasked with investigating got out of hand and your team was needed ASAP to handle wanderers. 

You scrambled to find someone that would be able to watch over Tina, but everyone you thought about was sure to be busy… except one person.

“Hey cutie, missed me?” Rafayel picked up your call quickly, his tone a mix of playfulness and a hint of happiness at the fact it was you calling.

“Well yes, but I need your help… My friend left her little sister in my care but I'm urgently needed for a mission and I need someone to watch over her for a few hours. Would you be able to do it? Pleaseee?” You begged slightly on the phone, there was a slight worry and panic in your voice because time was of the essence but you were also worried about Tina.

“Hmm.. I dun know, what would I get from it, hm? My schedule is very busy, ya know.”

“I will buy you takeout and bring you more materials for paints. Please Rafayel, I need to leave soon!”

“Alright alright, I was just kidding, I would help anyways. Bring her over, I can play nanny for a few hours.”

As the doors closed and Rafayel waved last goodbyes to you as you hurriedly left, he was left alone with a little kid. Great, soo what now? He had no idea how to care for a child.

“Hey kid, what would you like to do? I got some books here, but I doubt you wanna read them.. they are pretty boring to be honest.” He asked in hopes of trying to figure out the little girl a bit more. She seemed very quiet ever since she entered the studio.

“It's okay, I got my own book, thank you sir.” Tina politely said before she went back to her book as she sat on the couch in Rafayels studio. She was a little shy, it was visible with how she tried to take as little space as possible and not make a sound, but he could work with that.

Rafayel nodded and went back to his painting for a while. He thought that perhaps giving the girl some time to warm up would be a good idea, though he kept an eye on her as well to make sure she would be alright.

After about thirty minutes, he stepped down from his high chair and went over to the nearby kitchen to prepare two glasses of water and he came back to the studio to hand one to Tina.

“What book are you reading?” He asked curiously as he started to drink his own water. 

“... It's a book about wanderers.” Tina answered shortly as she stared at the glass he gave her before taking a small sip and placing it on a nearby table.

“Really? That's quite a topic. Are you interested in fighting?

“Not really, I… wanna be smart, like my sister. She works in the Hunters Association.” 

“Ah, that's quite a noble job. My friend works there too, she does a good job protecting the city or whatever but she doesn't have as much time to meet up with me anymore.”

“What do you do while you wait for her?”

“I paint. Commissions, art for exhibitions, her.. anything, really. Doing what I like is a great distraction.”

“... I don’t feel distracted.”

“Hm?”

“I still miss her… even though I do what I like”

There it was, she opened up a little. He thought that such a subject wasn't great for a young kid, there was bound to be a reason.

“Hmm, well do you really like reading this? Or do you like doing this because it reminds you of your sister?”

“I don't know…”

“That's okay. Missing someone can be horrible, especially with all the waiting. Take me for example, I'm not the most patient person in the world so it's horrible sometimes to just stay all alone while she's somewhere else. But in the end, when my friend does return, the feeling of joy is undeniable, and I think she would like me to be happy while I wait rather than be all sad and think of her.”

“.. So what should I do?” 

“Why don't you try something else? Like painting, for example.” Rafayel said as he got up and quickly gathered two small canvases, some paints, brushes and cups of water before returning to her side and sitting on the floor in front of the couch.

“Painting is a great way to pour all of your feelings onto one place, so you can focus on what exactly you feel. Then, you can show it, using colours, symbolism, texture - anything, really.” He explained in full focus as he talked about something he knew so well as he patted the space next to him to invite Tina to sit next to him.

“So.. how about instead of missing your sister, and thinking of what she does, you think of what you feel and what you want to do?” He looked at her when he said those words and extended a paint brush if she only wanted to accept his offer.

You rang the doorbell as soon as you found yourself in front of Rafayels house. It was late by now, the mission took much longer than expected, and you felt bad about leaving Tina with Rafayel for so long while you were the one who was supposed to take care of her.

He didn't answer, so you used the key you had and opened the door yourself. After you closed it and went into the living room, you saw Tina and Rafayel talking and painting while sitting on the floor. They were so deep into the conversation that they didn't even notice you at first, until Rafayel spotted you after a few minutes.

“Ah, there you are! Started to think you forgot about us. You took your sweet time.” He teased as he stood up and walked over to you while Tina continued her artwork. She looked much happier and energetic now, you noticed.

“I'm sorry… the mission was much more intense than we all thought. I brought you some food though! And I found some pretty flowers nearby as well, I thought you could make some nice colours out of them.” You responded as you handed him the payment for taking care of Tina. You felt bad but you hoped that it would be enough to make it up to Rafayel.

“Hmm..” Rafayel inspected the flowers, before he picked one up and then tucked it into the hair behind your ear. “I think this one should stay with you, it contrasts your eyes nicely.”

His smoothness somehow always threw you off guard, even after dating for a while. A small romantic gesture yet it made your heart flutter.

“Thank you for the food though, but I ate already. We had some seafood for dinner.” He said as he took the takeout bag from your hands.

“Really? You made food?”

“Why are you surprised? I can cook if I want to, besides, someone had to feed the kid since you left her all alone.” He said as he pointed to Tina.

“She wasn't all alone, she was under your care!”

Tina, who probably heard her name being called, soon ran up to you holding her masterpiece in her hand.

“Look what I made with uncle Rafayel! Do you think she will like it?”

“I know she will love it!” You said as you patted her head. Uncle Rafayel? That was a new one, she seemed to have gotten along with him quite easily.

“Thank you for taking care of her, Rafayel. You really did me a favour.” You thanked him as Tina was getting ready to leave his studio. You were quite happy because Tina looked much more open now, you wondered how he did it.

“It was no issue, really. The kid is smart, we just talked a bit and painted, I did nothing.” He said nonchalantly, though in your eyes - he did a great job. It was endearing almost, how easily he got along with her and even without much knowledge on kids, he did his best to care for her. Perhaps in the future, he would care like this for other kids as well.

[bnyf]

fawn over you ♡

yandere hunter x fawn hybrid reader

warnings : yandere content and themes, unhealthy behaviors, relationship and relationship dynamic

authoress note : first post :3 lowkey inspired by 'my sweet bunny cage' manga and i'm planning on making a bunny hybrid one too

his heart almost imploded and gave out upon sighting such a delicate, dainty fawn such as yourself.

little ole you had him in a rhapsodic trance, him whom's nature greatly differed from hers (you).

he, a mere man who's psychological disturbances causes him to hunt and kill. and you, a lovely creature who now gained the attention of a brute man who's main objective was to capture and claim.

the pattern on your skin like pearls, little dots trailing you. so perfect, almost impossible yet here you were.

it didn't help that by the beautiful white lily of the valley flowers surrounded you, like it was a symbol of how fucking perfect and graceful you are. you were ethereal. an angel or a goddess.

and god, those beautiful glassy orbs peaking his way held nothing but the universe and more in them. so innocent. the epitome of pretty and perfect.

he's sorry you had to meet him of all people, someone who'd ruin and corrupt you but he'd also worship you, others may do much worse to you anyway.

his movements were so still that you'd only notice him due to your instinctive feeling of being watched. your tailed and ears twitched.

you shivered, feeling bare and open to such preying eyes with selfish intent behind them.

his eyes held such a mad and malicious look, as if he were some sort of barbaric mad lad. he looks honcho and quite the opposite of you whom had a much smaller and soft physique.

his whole aura wrecked of death, he is, without a doubt, a true blood lusting predator's, a troubled psychopathy who needed to take his frustrations out on poor, unsuspecting creatures.

with that in mind, and thanks to your nimble agility and speed, you darted off before he could even approach you from the shades of the trees only 10 feet away from you.

he'd only chuckle to himself, engulfed by your beauty and elegance, and more than intrigued by the pretty, little doe-eyed fawn hybrid he just had the pleasure to encounter.

sure. you're quick witted. but being quick only gets you tangled up in a trap quicker.

and with that, his infatuation steadily mounts. he immediately started littering the leafy forest grounds in traps ever since that faithful encounter.

you've taken extra precaution after that day, hiding far away from his cabin and even further from that specific meeting sight.

like a lethal game of hide n seek, you both played your parts. and just like that, you started feeling more unsafe and uneasy knowing that he'd set up traps and cameras, watching your every move, both during the day and night.

sure. he had a life outside of this secluded forest he loves visiting. which is the only thing really giving you time to run and hide.

his work life was distressing as a lawyer, it was a very mentally, emotionally and sometimes psychically taxing line of work.

but that don't mean much considering whenever he got time or a day off, whether late night or not, he'd clear out an entire section of the forest with traps and cameras.

and eventually, you run out of both stamina and luck. you become dreary and tired, exhausted from fearing for your life. and your little stalker becomes impatient.

your little game of cat and mice becomes long over due, and sooner or later, you find yourself injured and trapped in enemy's territory.

it only takes 12 hours for him to finally come off work and whatever other things he may be preoccupied with in his life to come get you.

mean time, you kept your wound clean by licking it, fearing what he'll do to you once he gets there.

and boy oh boy, were you shivering when you'd hear the sound of twigs cracking under heavy boots approaching in the darkness of the light midnight. he's here.

you already cried a lot from the pain and realization of your situation but that didn't stop you from repeating the whole process again.

tears already brimming at your swollen, red eyes. the light from his flashlight becoming brighter as he gets nearer, near enough to shine the light directly at you, in your eyes and blinding you from seeing him.

yet he could quite clearly see you, those teary innocent eyes, your wound. every detail up close right in front of him as you lay right in his trap. looking at you with a sinister smile which you cannot see, leaving you guessing what smug facial expression he must have right now.

he let out a feral, maniac laugh.

"my little fawn, you're finally mine."

you had no where to run or hide anymore. grasping onto what little sanity you have now and praying for whatever great deity above to have mercy upon your innocent soul.

what awaited you next was a life of constant torment. the tears run off your chubby soft cheeks, colliding with your skin and the snot in your runny nose made the whole ordeal pathetic and shameful for you.

but to him? it was such an exquisite show! to him... that disgusting crying face of yours was nothing short of adorable.

he grabbed you away, kidnapping you from your carefree life of freedom. the last thing you felt was a prickling sting on your neck before you were enticed with an unknown sleeping drug that took effect instantly.

all the stress and negative emotions that were building up inside subsided as you were knocked out cold, remembering only his footsteps as he carried you to your new home...

the rest of your days were all a painful blur, you were cared for yes but you'd now have shackles placed on your ankles, a big enough cage and a collar. forced to comply to whatever rules he'd put in place for you. punished when disobeyed those rules. dressed to his liking, feed like a child and forced to learn tricks for his entertainment.

for lack of better words, you've been reduced to a pet.

his pet

your leg wound was still healing, which made escaping difficult. worse yet, his home in the city was large and difficult to navigate, with a built in security system that is literally impossible for anyone to get in or out without permission.

"shhhh don't be so scared, you're safe with me, my little fawn," he'd coax, all while keeping you sedated and locked up. you don't know why but for some reason he'd smell strange but also strangely good at the same time. you'd feel a bit oozy when around him, and inhaling his scent was addictive.

that's because his cologne is laced with pheromones and a special drug to get you addicted off him.

but you didn't know that, and you didn't need to know that. your innocent self blamed yourself for becoming addicted to him. he only smiled and hugged you, because he knows you can't think straight every time he's near.

keep this up and he might just send you into heat a little too early. not! that it's a bad thing for him, not that he wouldn't like that of course.

you hated every bit of this. hated him for making you into his glorified object rather than a living being, a person with thoughts and feelings.

but oooohhhh how he loved every second of it, loved dressing you up in all sorts of cute clothing like some little doll, loved pulling your collar when you misbehaved, and absolutely adored watching you get high off him.

the way your nose twitched, and your little tail sweep from side to side, that look you give him cause you're thinking this is all your fault when it's absolutely not.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Helpless ~ Steve's Version

MAIN MASTERLIST / MARVEL MASTERLIST / MUSICAL INSPIRED FIC MASTERLIST

Steve Rogers x Female!Stark!Reader

Word Count: 2,250ish

Request: song request: helpless (hamilton) for steve where f!reader is pining for him (and ofc he pines back)  and the 'sister' in the song is just best friend!tony 😼😼 (but none of the angelica/hamilton parallels! just tony noticing reader's crush and introducing them) love your work!

Notes: I changed the request a bit, but I hope everyone enjoys it!

“Ooh (hey, hey)

I do, I do, I do, I do (hey, hey, hey, hey)

Hey (hey, hey)

Ooh (hey, hey)

I do, I do, I do, I do (hey, hey, hey, hey, hey)”

The Stark Tower was now The Avengers Tower and tonight Tony was hosting the grand opening gala. He was currently following you around your small New York apartment, begging you to attend.

“Come on, sis,” Tony begged. “For me. You haven’t stepped foot in the Tower once and I want to get your thoughts.”

“Tony,” you sighed with a shake of your head. “I thought we agreed that I’m not meant for the spot light, that’s you.”

“This isn’t the spot light. I have a dress for you. Pepper’s going to be there. You don’t have to hit the red carpet or anything.”

“I don’t know, Tony—“

“Please, Y/N.” He reached over and grabbed your hands. “I almost died, remember?”

You rolled your eyes. “Really? You’re playing that card?”

“Come on! I just want my baby sis to have fun with me for once. Please.”

You new that when your brother was looking at you with this big brown eyes, it was hard for you not to cave. “Fine.”

“Yes!” He pulled you into a hug and kissed your cheek. “Let’s go! I can give you a tour and then you and Pepper can get ready together.”

~~~

You were Tony Stark’s half-sister, having been conceived by Howard Stark having an affair with one of this secretaries. Tony was twelve when you were born and immediately was attached to you. The Starks had kept you a secret to the world and Tony continued to do so at your request. Though you could tell that it was beginning to hurt him more and more. He loved you so much and was so proud of you, and he just wanted to share that with the world.

“The Tower is amazing, Tony,” you told him as the two of you waited in the elevator.

“I’m glad you think so,” he smiled as the elevator stopped and opened up, “because this is your floor.”

“Wh—What?”

Tony grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the elevator. “This is all for you. It has an office for your work, three bedrooms, three and a half bathrooms, a kitchen, a dinning room, and a living room. JARVIS has it set up so that only people you approve can access your floor.”

“Tony… I…”

“Y/N, I almost died. You could have died. I can’t protect my baby sis if you’re out there on your own. Please, do this, for me? No one has to know about the floor or you. I promise. But this way, I know that you’re safe and we can even spend more time together and—“

“Yes, Tony. I’ll move in.”

“Yay!” He kissed your forehead. “Also, the movers are already on their way with you things.”

“Tony!” 

He moved away from your playful swat. “Hey! You know that I just love you, right kid?”

“I know. I love you, too. I’ll always be grateful for what you do for me, Tones.”

“Okay!” He clapped, rubbing his hands together. “Your dress for the gala is in your closet and Pepper and I will swing by to pick you up at 7.”

“Boy, you got me helpless

Look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit

I'm helpless

Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in ‘em”

“I have never been the type to try and grab the spotlight

We were at a revel with some rebels on a hot night

Laughin' at my sister as she's dazzling the room

Then you walked in, and my heart went “boom””

The Tower ballroom as full of celebrities and government officials. There were groups dancing to the music and groups chatting while drinking and eating the hors d’oeuvres.  You had never felt more out of place. You were hiding against the wall with a drink in your hand, watching Tony charm everyone who wished to talk to him.

The soft ding of the elevator caught your attention. You lost your breath as a tall, blonde man where black slacks and a navy button down dress shirt stepped out. He looked just as out of place as you felt. His eyes somehow found your gaze and for a moment, no one else was in the ballroom but the two of you. But before either of you could make a move towards each other, the man was pulled in the direction of a group of government officials. 

“Tryin' to catch your eye from the side of the ballroom

Everybody's dancin' and the band's top volume

Grind to the rhythm as we wine and dine

Grab a sister and whisper, "Yo, this one's mine" (ooh)”

You walked along the side of the ballroom, tracking the man. He kept being pulled into different conversations like he was important. He did seem familiar, but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Tony eventually made his way over to you, needing to check on you.

“You holding up, sis?” He asked softly as he handed you a new drink.

“Yeah, fine,” you mumbled, still focused on the man. “Uh, who is that?” You slightly pointed.

Tony’s brows furrowed as he looked over to where you were pointing. “Oh, that’s Capsicle. You know? Captain America?”

“That’s Steve Rogers?”

“The one and only. And annoyingly righteous as I always thought he would be.”

You shrugged. “He’s… cute.”

Tony’s eyes widened as his head snapped in your direction. He quickly studied your face. He had never seen that look on you before. In fact, you had never openly admitted to finding someone cute before. Most likely because you were too scared of what Tony might do. He looked back at Steve. There could definitely be worse people for you to find cute. He sighed and began to head towards Steve.

“Wait, Tony!” You quietly called. “What are you doing?”

“My sister made her way across the room to you (ooh)

And I got nervous, thinking, what's she gonna do? (Ooh)

She grabs you by the arm, I'm thinking I'm through (ooh)

Then you look back at me, and suddenly”

“I'm helpless

Oh, look at those eyes, oh (look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit)

I'm helpless, I know

Down for the count, and I'm drowning in 'em

(Helpless) I am so into you

(Look into your eyes and the sky's the limit) I am so into you

I'm helpless (I know)

I'm down for the count, and I'm drownin' in ‘em”

You watched anxiously as Tony made his way across the ballroom to Steve. Tony greeted him with a hand to his upper arm and the two began chatting. Your heart was hammering in your chest as you watched. Suddenly, both of them were looking at you and you met Steve’s eyes once again. They were the most beautiful shade of blue, you could have drowned in them. Right then and there you knew that you were screwed.

“Where are you taking me?

I'm about to change your life

Then by all means, lead the way”

“Elizabeth Schuyler, it's a pleasure to meet you

Schuyler? (My sister)

Thank you for all your service

If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it

I'll leave you to it”

“Where you are leading me to?” Steve questioned as he followed Tony across the ballroom.

“To the most beautiful girl across the ballroom,” Tony commented. “And trust me, I don’t introduce anyone to her.” They stopped in front of you and you were trying not to freakout. “Steve Rogers, meet Y/N Stark.”

“Stark?” Steve was genuinely surprised.

“My sister.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Steve,” you said, shyly, offering your hand.

He took it, shaking it gently. “Nice to meet you, too,” he replied.

“I’m going to leave you two to it,” Tony smirked. “But don’t do anything stupid. That’s my baby sister you’re dealing with.” Then he slipped off to rejoin Pepper.

“I’m sorry about him,” you apologized for your brother. “He’s really protective.”

“I didn’t even know he had a sister,” Steve said. “It’s not in any of the files.”

“Yeah, it’s a family secret. Fury won’t allow it to leak because Tony and I asked him to.”

Steve nodded and then nervously looked around. “Uh… I don’t… well… I can’t dance, but do you want to?”

You giggled. “You can’t dance and you just asked me?”

“Yeah, only if you want to—“

“I’d love to.”

“One week later, I'm writin' a letter nightly

Now my life gets better every letter that you write me

Laughin' at my sister 'cause she wants to form a harem

I'm just sayin', if you really loved me, you would share him (ha)”

You and Steve quickly became inseparable. You would meet for coffee in the Tower and go on walks around the block. The two of you talked about your lives: his before the ice and how he was handling the new century and yours being the bastard Stark. 

Feelings were growing quickly between the two of you but neither of you were confident enough to act on them.

“Two weeks later, in the living room stressin'

My father's stone-faced while you ask him for his blessin'

I'm dying inside as you wine and dine

And I'm tryin' not to cry, 'cause there's nothing that your mind can't do (ooh)”

“My father makes his way across the room to you (ooh)

I panic for a second, thinking we're through (ooh)

But then he shakes your hand and says, "Be true" (ooh)

And you turn back to me smiling”

Steve was nervous, more nervous than he had ever been. He had seen the way Tony protected you in just the little time he had known about you. So Steve felt like he needed to check with Tony before he asked you out. He found Tony in the lab.

“Hey, Tony, can we talk?” Steve hoped that his voice didn’t give off the nerves he was feeling.

“Sure,” Tony mumbled, focused on his suit. “What’s up, Cap?”

“I… Well, I was wondering if it would be okay if I asked Y/N out on a date?” Tony dropped everything he was working on and slowly turned to face Steve. “I— I know that we haven’t know each other very long but I have really enjoyed getting to know her more and I—“

“Stop right there, Rogers.” Tony moved his jaw around as he put his thoughts together. “I need to be honest with you. Y/N doesn’t go on dates. Some of it’s my fault. I’m always worried about her safety and people finding out the truth of who she is.”

“I would never do anything to hurt her, Tony.”

Tony scoffed. “That's what they all say. But… I know that you mean well, Rogers. And I know that I monitor everything that happens in the Tower so I will know if you do, do anything. And I mean, anything! Got that?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Just… treat her good, Steve. She deserves everything.”

“I will.”

“I'm helpless

(Look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit)

I'm helpless (helpless)

Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em (whoo!)

Helpless (that boy is mine, that boy is mine, ooh)

Look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit

I'm helpless (helpless) (whoo)

Down for the count (yeah), and I'm drownin' in ‘em”

“Eliza, I don't have a dollar to my name

An acre of land, a troop to command, a dollop of fame

All I have is my honor, a tolerance for pain

A couple of college credits and my top-notch brain”

“Insane, your family brings out a different side of me

Peggy confides in me, Angelica tried to take a bite of me

No stress, my love for you was never in doubt

We'll get a little place in Harlem and we'll figure it out”

“I've been livin' without a family since I was a child

My father left, my mother died, I grew up buck wild

But, I'll never forget my mother's face, that was real

As long as I'm alive, Eliza, swear to god you'll never feel so”

You could tell that Steve was nervous about something as the two of you headed back to your floor after meeting for coffee. When the two of you reached the elevator, Steve paused.

“Uh, Y/N, I, um… I have a question to ask you,” Steve stammered.

“Yeah, Steve?” You asked.

“Would you… Would you like to go on a date with me?”

You smiled as you inhaled sharply. “Yes, Steve, I would love to go on a date with you.”

“Really?” Steve grinned, so giddy that you said yes. “You want to?”

“I do…. I really do.”

“I do, I do, I do

Eliza (helpless) (I do, I do, I do)

I never felt so (helpless)

Yeah, yeah

Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in 'em (down for a count, and I’m-)”

“Helpless (yo, my life is gon' be fine 'cause Eliza's in it)

Helpless (I look into your eyes, and the sky's the limit, I'm)

Helpless

(Down for the count, and I'm drownin' in ‘em)”

“In New York, you can be a new man

In New York, you can be a new man

In New York, you can be a new man (helpless)”

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Pick-up Lines (or Attempts) by SGE Prequel Characters

I wasn't planning on doing anything related to Valentine's Day, but came up with this. Feel free to disagree with me if anything seems off. Some of these are hyperbole-infested, haha.

⸻

Hook:

Flirting: [He takes up the person's hand and says seductively,] What you think about [some egocentric yet relevant topic of conversation], lad/lass?

Flirted with: He flirts back—whether he has any sincere feelings for the person or not.

Midas:

Flirting: Is flirting beneath him? Likely. He doesn't like soppy Evers who mistake him for one himself.

Flirted with: Doesn't bother responding or dismisses the person. Or worse, he suspects high-handed manipulation at play and says something like "Find someone else."

Rufius:

Flirting: [He doesn't have the guts to flirt? May bring the object of his affections pastries.]

Flirted with: Completely oblivious. Mistakenly recognizes flirtation as an attempt to befriend or as just others simply being "friendly" to him for once.

Kyma:

Responds kindly in either scenario. Might let many, many suitors down.

Marialena:

Flirting: I foresaw a future for you and I together.

Flirted with: Laughs in the person's face. How pathetic, she could think. Or she blatantly lies and tells them they will die of smallpox or malaria because she is contagious and ought to be on her deathbed, if only to get rid of them. If not, she could string the person along for a while, to do her bidding.

Peter Pan:

Flirting: [N/A]

Flirted with: Yuck. Bluck. Bleh. I'm not getting disgusting girl cooties!

Rise Rhian:

Flirting: [He initiates a handshake, and holds onto it for too long.] Hello... [Unfortunately, his mind goes blank and he blushes. In some cases, he may find something clever to say, especially about the physical appearance of his crush.]

Flirted with: [Tongue-tied, attempts to act coy in front of the admirer, probably blushes profusely. Can't look anyone in the eye.]

Fall Rhian:

Flirting: [Wouldn't bother if a guy isn't his prophesied True Love... probably. Do old habits die hard like his brother had? Only one way to find out. Expose himself to handsome guys (students?) and get over the feelings.]

Flirted with: May respond by thinking some form of: Hostile human lifeform. What's the trick this time? He can no longer trust after everything that had gone on.

Rafal:

Flirting: [*Crickets* Then, a voice sounds from behind his "victim:"] Ahem... greetings. I am your stalker. Do you love me? Please. I command you to love me. I promise you, you won't find anyone better. I'll make it for certain.

Flirted with: [Stares at the person like they're stupid for even trying and says something scathing in return.]

[I think he has the potential to be off the rails awkward or deeply questionable, in terms of having a sound mind, if he's not acting seductively as part of a greater ploy and actually has real feelings for someone getting in his way. Hence, the slight deviation from canon.

His first response was also inspired by "Stalker's Tango" and "An Unhealthy Obsession."]

[mamawasatesttube]

Wow, problems with the fandom due to inconsistency or misperception of the character. Understandable, I'm a One Piece fan and things get wild here too, a big virtual hug, super wasate (sorry for the embarrassing nickname, I think it's cute).

Question, I'm planning to go with a friend to the Superman movie, but I don't know which comic to recommend so she can get a solid idea of the character and his role, because the only one I'm reading right now is about the death of Superman because I'm a fucking masochist (and I'm stuck because I'm rewatching an op arc, hell, I'll never get anywhere like this). I like your posts, I saw your Superfamily certificate, so I trust your judgment.

Have a nice one on your schedule ✨🎉

honestly the dc fandom's problem is that they don't actually engage at all with the canon. which is insane to me like why are u in the dc comics tags then but 😭 also im so sorry people do that over there too. alas...

as for superman comics!!! firstly the death of superman YIPPEEEEE!! that's in my opinion like one of, if not THE best, storylines dc has ever produced. i hope you're liking it!! <3

re: introductory superman comics, here's a reading list i like :) and then my personal favorite recommendations would probably be:

superman: birthright, for a sort of introduction and origin story for superman in the modern era

superman smashes the klan for some history and a lot of superman immigrant metaphors and feelings (also it just goes hard. fuck them up superman)

superman for all seasons for some looks at him from different narrators who love him :)

superman: up in the sky for that kind of larger-than-life "who is superman and why does he inspire so many people" vibe. i really do love this story.

and finally, action comics #792 is my favorite single-issue superman story of all time. it's self-contained and you don't really need any knowledge other than, like, "superman is clark kent who is married to lois lane and they work at the daily planet". and it's soooo good augh

[purpdrawsthings]

A "Justified" Betrayal.

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As SMG4 holds SMG3's hand..

YOU FEEL SO.. WORTHLESS DON'T YOU?.. IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF HIM... IT'S ALL HIS FAULT... HE DID THIS DIDN'T HE? YOU COULD'VE FINISHED AND DONE EVERYTHING YOURSELF. EVERYBODY COULD'VE PRAISED YOU. BUT HE RUINED EVERYTHING.

LET GO OF HIS HAND. IT'LL FIX EVERYTHING. YOUR LIFE WILL BE PERFECT. YOUR VIDEOS WILL BE PERFECT. EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECT. WHY SHOULD YOU SAVE HIM AND WASTE YOUR TIME? IT'S BETTER TO LEAVE HIM RATHER THAN SAVE HIM. WHAT MATTERS IS YOU AND THE VIDEO. IT HAS TO BE PERFECT.

"...4-4! Are y-you alright..? You see-"

"I'm sorry 3. I'm going to have to let you go."

"H-.. Huh...?"

"I need to upload this video. Everything I've done for it couldn't have been in vain. The video matters more. Besides, you never cared about me at all didn't you?"

"W-wait! I do care about you idiot! What're you-"

"You never did. What I'm doing is fair, and justified. I'm doing the right thing. It's about time I get out of your selfish grip. You deserve this. I'm the one whose getting out."

"4 PLEASE! DON'T LET GO I PROMISE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE AND EVEN BETTER THAN WHAT IT USED TO BE! WE'RE FRIE-"

"We're 𝙉𝙊𝙏 friends. I'm not listening to your pathetic excuses anymore. It's time to let go. Have fun down there."

"4-.. 4..?..."

"..."

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Yippe yippeeeeee angst =D

Before we get on with anything else, this comic was inspired by @alelathedragon's version of events! This was simply my own take on it =3

You might be thinking, why'd I do this? For fun cuz I love angst so much ough 💜💜💜

You can imagine this comic in any way you want, but I mostly made it from 4's perspective! How twisted his mind is because of the keyboards influence and everything. I think it's one of the reasons he let go of 3's hand! And also because he thinks that what he's doing is fair and the right thing to do [ idiot |=[ ]

I prolly made 4 more selfish than he's been in this one because why not hehe

Anyways uhhhhhhh yeah that's about all I have to say! I probably lost most of my brain juice while drawing.

Yeetus chat! =3

@michaelscorneroftheinternet @dorriostareyes

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[vynxwave]

Share your thoughts on MegaSound? It was one of my first Transformers ships and even though it's not a rarepair or anything it's oddly less popular than I'd expect, and I don't see a lot of analysis of what their relationship is actually like in various canons

I'd love to! Yeah, finding out it's not as popular as I thought was surprising. With Soundwave often depicted as loyal to Megatron, I really would've thought it'd be more popular than it is. You're definitely right about there being a lack of analyses on their relationship, so I think I'll eventually make a post analyzing their relationship in various canons. For this post I'll be going over how I see MegaSound (and from what parts of canon I derive it from) and sharing thoughts about its (lack of) popularity/prevalence.

Here I'll note the basis of canon I ship them from across various continuities where they have a positive relationship*:

Megatron likes monologuing in Soundwave's presence and talking with him (Dreamwave Generation 1 (2002) #4, Megatron Origin #4, IDW Robots in Disguise (2012) #22, Prime). Considering Soundwave's continued steadfast loyalty, I'd reckon he likes hearing him talk/plan.

Soundwave is Megatron's confidant (War Within #2, Prime, IDW Robots in Disguise (2012) #17, IDW 2019)

The both care for each other's continued functioning (Soundwave does so consistently in loyalist depictions, and for Megatron it depends on the continuity/writer but is often true of him too (though, Soundwave doesn't get injured often); [specifics cited later in this post])

Soundwave's loyalty even extends to when Megatron loses his marbles (WFC: Kingdom E03, Galvatron in Sunbow G1 S3E14 & Headmasters E02 & E04), but his loyalty does not extend to Megatron defecting from the Decepticons (IDW Dark Cybertron, EarthSpark) due to Soundwave's loyalty to the Decepticon Cause.

Dreamwave Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye #6 Soundwave's character bio written from Megatron's perspective expressing his uncertainty of whether he can risk lending his trust and friendship to Soundwave is one of my favorite things with them.

(*this mostly excludes where Soundwave's characterized as a self-serving opportunist and where Megatron treats him as just another subordinate)

My MegaSound Thoughts

(Preface: Inspiration taken from all over, but classic Decepticon Cause and they're both as evil as typical. I ship them in various canons but here I describe a broad overview of ways I interpret this pairing and what aspects I'm interested in. I tried to avoid citing Soundwave's self-serving opportunistic depictions for the most part, but he often has a lot of character I like in them xD.)

For me their ship is built upon their longstanding mutual trust, respect, and reliability; especially compounded with the fact many of their comrades' loyalty is prone to wavering from time to time (whereas Soundwave has continuously stuck by his side). I also like to focus on Soundwave's staunch loyalty to and belief in Megatron and the Cause he embodies — and, importantly, Megatron's recognition of this.

For Megatron I like to think about what valuing someone in such a way means to a tyrant whose sights are set on control, destruction, and personal power.

I think Soundwave's competence, strength, devotion, skills, and intelligence would all be appealing to Megatron. Soundwave, with said qualities, has made himself indispensable to the Decepticons, and therefore indispensable to Megatron himself.

Perhaps one reason Megatron is drawn to Soundwave would be for the steadfast security he provides (compared to the unreliability/treachery of others).

Though, with Megatron being surrounded by the infighting/treachery of Decepticons, I think it would be natural for him to sometimes be uncertain of whether his closeness with Soundwave is as safe/secure as it seems (inspired by Dreamwave More Than Meets The Eye #6's Soundwave bio written from Megatron's perspective) due to how much sensitive information and vulnerability Soundwave's been trusted with. But any such feared betrayal would not come to pass, because Soundwave sides with him, including in his times of need.

All I've written so far assumes a wishy-washy loyalty in Megatron's other followers; for where he has other loyalists, perhaps Soundwave is just one of his oldest followers (Sunbow G1 "War Dawn", Dreamwave G1 (2004) #10, IDW 2019, Prime S1E26) and his loyalty is ultimately tried and true.

Time and time again, Soundwave is shown to care about Megatron's continued functioning/well-being (Sunbow G1 "MTMTE, Part 3" [Soundwave warning Megatron of Starscream's attack], Transformers: The Movie, War Within #6, Prime, All Hail Megatron #13, Fall of Cybertron [saddened at Megatron's death & later rebuilds him], Retribution ["And if it turned out he couldn’t save Megatron, Soundwave knew what his duty demanded. / Vengeance on everybody involved."], Transformers vs. The Terminator #2 [Soundwave repairs Megatron's optic], WFC: Kingdom E03).

In cases where Soundwave has been injured/killed, this has often been true of Megatron too (Transformers (2009) #17 [this & AHM #13 were both written by Costa — making this mutual care of each other's continued functioning intentional, I presume], Prime S2E14, Headmasters E02 & E04 if including Galvatron, WFC: Kingdom E03 [where Dinobot downs Soundwave then Megatron comes swinging]).

For Soundwave I first want to detail the basis of his character as I think it's important to recognize his beliefs and personality. His personality and how much is shown ultimately depends on the continuity and writer; and varies depending on if the writer favors the Marvel UK G1 Soundwave (self-serving opportunist) or the Sunbow G1 Soundwave (loyalist) depiction.

Soundwave believes himself to be superior to others (to other lifeforms, to Autobots, and even to fellow Decepticons) and it's not just a cool line, but an actual sentiment/belief he holds (Transformers: The Movie, Spotlight: Soundwave, Revolutionaries #3, Skybound Transformers #7, Animated S1E10 Sound and Fury), and it is continuously embodied in his actions and loyalty to the Decepticon Cause (conquest & domination). Following this, Megatron's ideals of Decepticon superiority must appeal to Soundwave greatly — as a result, their vision of the future and values are quite similar.

Soundwave has (well, if the continuity depicts it) a negative reputation among other Decepticons, with others actually being aware of his monitoring and subsequent reporting to Megatron (Prime S1E13 [among other episodes], implied in Robots in Disguise (2012) #11... I think, Earth Wars: Sea Phantom: "[...] The walls have audio receptors, if you know what I mean." / Coelagon: "Yeah, Soundwave has the place wired for sound.", Sunbow G1 "Countdown to Extinction" & "The Golden Lagoon"). Instead of such a reputation being a negative for Soundwave, it is something he has intentionally fostered for indirect power and control over the other Decepticons; and by doing this he's made Megatron hold him in high esteem (Prime, Dreamwave More Than Meets the Eye #6 [Soundwave's Bio], All Hail Megatron #10) and positioned himself securely in the Decepticon's upper ranks.

In line with his beliefs of superiority, Soundwave personality-wise is quite confident and secure. This is also true of his standing with Megatron (for reasons described above).

Following Soundwave's colder depictions, perhaps one of the bots he finds himself the most "warm" to or emotionally responsive to is Megatron, even if he may not express this the same way most others might (but I'd think Megatron would understand it, due to his perceptiveness and having known him a long time).

With Soundwave generally not being much of a conversationalist, I'd think Megatron easily makes up for this with all his talking and monologuing (they are so [eloquent] yapper x listener to me). Given Soundwave's continued loyalty, I'd like to think he quite likes hearing Megatron's voice and his ideas/plans; for Megatron I'd like to think he enjoys an intelligent and receptive audience and finds it in Soundwave (who gets to hear his words/plans unfiltered from the manipulative rhetoric he gives others), and likes Soundwave's encouragement and amoral pragmatism. As Megatron's confidant, Soundwave gets to hear him at his most honest (Dreamwave War Within #2, IDW Primacy #4, Prime).

I like to think about how them both being evil impacts what activities they find enjoyable. Moments in various canons that come to mind: All Hail Megatron #1 (where Megatron's like "Soundwave, if you will?" then >:D when Soundwave diverts the missiles), Prime S2E22 ("You should have seen Optimus Prime's face when his precious Star Saber shattered like glass [...]"), and Retribution Ch. 9 (where Soundwave really wants to show Megatron a playback of him and Ravage interrogating/torturing Decepticon traitor Axer for information that Megatron wanted). Could sharing the joy of violence be an evil love language xD?

For angst I think there's a lot of potential based in EarthSpark or Headmasters (the same is true of IDW 2005, though I won't be expanding on it here).

For EarthSpark there's S1E08 0:24 & 2:30 plus a sentence from the guidebook: "Soundwave believes that anyone who defects from the Decepticons is a traitor, and he considers Megatron the worst traitor of all!" Based on their interactions and dialogue (S1E08 Decoy "Don't make this personal, Soundwave." "It already is."), it's apparent that they used to be close before Megatron switched sides; and Soundwave's feelings impact Megatron a lot! Soundwave's recording calling out his hypocrisy invokes such a rage in him; and Soundwave calling him a traitor disheartens him, making him lower his cannon (and he would've been blasted had Optimus not intervened)!

For Headmasters Soundwave/Soundblaster would witness how much Galvatron differs from Megatron — how insane he's become, but also how distant he's become from him. (The Headmasters E04 & E10)

In general, I think there could be angst found in Megatron's favorite trope: getting put out of commission for a duration of time. Or, that trope could be bestowed upon Soundwave for a change xD (like in Transformers (2009) #17). Exploring the consequences of Megatron's hubris or lust for power could be fun too.

Favorite Moments in Various Canons

Dreamwave More Than Meets The Eye #6 Soundwave's bio:

[From the Datatracks of Megatron, Decepticon Leader] What is more valuable to a commander, loyalty or reliability? Loyalty is a luxury, but reliability is a necessity for effective military operations. Soundwave exemplifies the latter while projecting as much as the former as realistically possible. He is an indispensable lieutenant and a fierce warrior, with seemingly unshakeable loyalty to me and our cause. When I enter into combat with Soundwave beside me, I am assured that he will perform his role unerringly. I am, however, well aware of his blackmailing of other Decepticons and the fearsome retribution he takes on any who attempt cross him, safe in the knowledge that he is virtually untouchable in his current position. His flaunting of his role have caused many to turn against him, which has only strengthened his need for my favor and implicit protection. Thus far, Soundwave has been utterly faithful to my commands and risked his own life on my behalf several times. But is he only biding his time until his own power base is secure enough? Many great commanders have been undone by trust and friendship in the past… can I afford to extend these to even my most capable solider?

Dreamwave War Within #6 & Generation 1 (2004) #10 (Also, throughout Dreamwave's run Soundwave is actually visibly by Megatron's side, which I think is a pretty neat detail)

All Hail Megatron #13 & Transformers (2007) #17

I enjoyed their dynamic in IDW 2019 because of how visibly instrumental Soundwave is to the Decepticon's rise, and his subsequent importance to Megatron. (#5) (#16) (#26)

Soundwave's sheer nonchalance at getting yelled at/scolded by Megatron who was breaking things in rage (#11) was so funny to me... Soundwave knows he's too important.

In Fall of Cybertron (37:15) Soundwave reaches out sadly to Megatron's hand sticking out from beneath rubble (thanks to Megatron's hubris getting himself scrapped)

In WFC: Kingdom E03 Soundwave is concerned about Megatron and tries to caution/advise him, but it goes unheeded.

The Transformers (2003) PS2 Japan: nearly every time Soundwave and Megatron talk... ["Lord Megatron, I'm glad you're unharmed!], ["This is how a subordinate should behave!"], ["No, don't apologize. You are not to blame"], ["..."], ["high price"], [deferring to Soundwave's judgement]

I haven't actually watched Robots in Disguise (2015), but its portrayal of Soundwave's devoutness is pretty cool... specifically in S3E21 Collateral Damage what he says at the timestamp 5:49:

Soundwave: "[...] when [the transgalactic beacon generator is] activated at the highest point in the city it would transmit a signal strong enough to summon Megatron back to Earth." Sideswipe: "[...] but that much radiation won't just call Megatron it'll—" Soundwave: "—devastate the city, then spread to eradicate all life on Earth. Incidental collateral damage."

I don't know how to describe how much I love the coldness/callousness in his inconsideration for an entire planet, all for the sole purpose of getting Megatron back.

(Lack of) Popularity

I've thought about the reasons for the ship's lack of popularity/prevalence. The one that jumps out the most to me is that there's a lack of in-depth exploration into their relationship in canon despite their constant proximity and importance to each other — as in, plots hardly ever test/strain/strengthen their relationship (to elaborate, there's rarely tension between them, and when there is it's minor and carries no meaningful weight).

Well, IDW 2005 did do some things with their relationship, but it didn't feel as in-depth as other relationships because their backstory together (which occurred in phase 1 with Soundwave's self-serving opportunistic characterization) was recontextualized/retconned for phase 2's Decepticon Cause of equality origin and was there to ultimately serve their subsequent (and separate) becoming betterish arcs relevant to that origin, and then they never got a proper reconciliation together; post-Dark Cybertron Soundwave continued to keep Megatron in mind, whereas Megatron (iirc) doesn't ever think about him in any noteworthy way. (Elaboration/analysis of this will be in whenever I make that analysis post, although trying to analyze IDW 2005 is kind of a headache for me.)

Rarely does Megatron communicate how he feels about Soundwave to him beyond his usefulness/function (e.g. Megatron praising Soundwave in Prime and Sunbow G1). There's IDW Robots in Disguise (2012) #22 ("Ours, Soundwave. The world shall be ours." is a cool line that expresses Megatron wanting to conquer Cybertron with Soundwave, but this scene is a retcon & flashback — it only serves phase 2 Soundwave's arc in the present).

That's not to say Megatron never expresses any thoughts/feelings about Soundwave, of course (various episodes of Prime, Headmasters E02 ["Soundwave! NGHAAAHHHHH" — Galvatron after witnessing him explode], probably some moments from The Transformers (2003) PS2 Japan).

The most explicit of Megatron recognizing Soundwave's importance to him I can think of off of the top of my head is Primacy #2.

Obviously with this post, I think a lot about their relationship can be inferred from the way they interact and talk regardless of how much or little Megatron directly expresses to him. (With this post being for the purpose of shipping, all I mention here is through a shipping potential lens xD).

Perhaps another reason for this ship's lack of popularity, related to the first, is maybe Soundwave is broadly thought of as just a loyalist without knowledge of his other qualities and so people don't think it's interesting? (I could say more on this, but I'll end this post here.)

[cast-iron-bug]

DUDE IVE READ ALL OF LOST AND FOUND I ADORE THAT FIC! im actually working on some fan art of a scene from it rn!!!

Some of these head cannons are inspired by how the emperor acts in lost and found, with moments like him drawing zigzags in the slow and falling asleep in the lost random ways 🤣 so I'm so glad you like em!!! I love sharing and comparing head cannons it's a blast to talk about and interesting to see how similar or different they can be!

Also YESSSS my guy starts to SPIRAL after the first two decades or so after his rule. The scroll's effects are both a blessing and a curse- while they are keeping his physical injuries unnoticeable (they are getting worse it just keeps him from noticing), his mental psyche is SO MUCH WORSE when he has it. However, he can't take a break from the paranoid whispers in his head without putting it down, and when he does he's only in pain from his physical injuries.

It's very much a double edged sword that the emperor has become entirely dependent on.

I return from the dead with MORE ICE EMPEROR! HOW SUPRISING!!!✨❄️

Thought I’d finally share my head cannons for this creature and for how the staff of forbidden spinjitsu works so HERE WE GO-

❄️ when each ninja holds the staff, their elements burst to life all around them, most notably through their hair. Lloyd and Kai’s looks same as the show, though Kai’s hair is smoldering a bit more and smoky, and Lloyd’s is flickered with gold. Everyone else is different! Nya’s hair swirls with clouds and mist like a brewing storm, jay’s hair stands on end as the lightning makes the lights flicker, and Zane’s hair floats and glitters like the northern lights, leaving lil flurries behind him as he walks! This effect looks even cooler when he grows his hair out as the ice emperor.

✨when Zane crash lands into the neverrealm, the fall leaves a serious wound on his right temple. This badly damages his right eye, making his vision unpredictable and his eye noticeably glitching out.

❄️ Zane was built to be as convincingly human as possible- because of this he mimics different symptoms to communicate what kind of damage he has. For example, when he has malware or a virus, Zane will run a fever, cough or sneeze. He shivers on the rare occasion his powers become too overwhelming and, in the case of the fore mentioned head trauma, Zane will show concussion symptoms- such as his pupils being “blown” (two different sizes). Also yes his hair does grow. He doesn't know how to take care of it as the emperor so it grows tangled and matted but it grows nonetheless

✨the effects of the scroll are a slow burn! Sure the effects are noticed almost immediately, but the damage it does is slow and not easily reversed: therefore contributing to my “Zane does not turn back into “Zane” after he drops the staff” bit! The effects linger- Zane’s hair flickering with power when he’s upset, his powers responding in a similar way to season one- where he’d freeze the training grounds over. He leaves frozen footsteps wherever he goes, freezes over on occasion(mostly along his face when he cries) and if you were to tousle his hair it’d start snowing indoors. ❄️ I love the “Zane committed active genocide alongside vex and is horribly traumatized by it” trope I see in fics a lot, but I also found myself wanting to work with the concussed, sleepy boi we got in the show! So Im developing an AU that meets sort of a middle ground: with Zane participating in the first decade or two of war, but slowly becoming sicker and more manic and paranoid the further into his rule he goes. When he is not asleep, the emperor is pacing the castle in unrest, the walls creaking as he spirals in the warped memory of the lies vex had told him and the realm continues to freeze solid.

That’s all I got for now! Feel free to use any of these in your own works- just be sure to tag me bc I’d love to see it! I’ll be adding to this and tweaking it as I develop this au more… in fact lemme know if any of y’all come up with a name for an au like this!

….and if you read this far- holy guacamole thanks I guess!

[star-fandoms]

LADS REDESIGNS!! + notes

Note: These are solely for fun, nothing wrong with the original designs and I still plan on drawing their original designs!

I used the Linkon Chibi Report cover because I couldn't be bothered to actually draw them all, my bad LMAO Here's the link to the Love and Deepspace twitter where I got it: https://x.com/Love_Deepspace

THE ART IS NOT MINE, JUST THE REDESIGNS!!(Which even then were highly inspired by the new Valentines cards!)

XAVIER

(His hair is 100% inspired by his "Deluded Fiction card.)

Uh but yeah, as for WHY I decided to go with this design, it has a bit to do with his lore. Please correct me if I get anything wrong, I'm not super aware of everything lore related(Esp not with Xavi's, too focused on Zayne and Caleb :,< )

But Xavier has been traveling for a while, and I think over time he would stop really caring about his appearance, more focused on defeating wanderers and trying to protect the mc.

I also feel like he'd eventually cut his hair again and brush it! So his longer hair is more so an early game thing lol

I also just love the idea of chronic bed head Xavier. Like I imagine his to be a still sleeper, but I think it'd be funny that no matter how still he sleeps, his hair just gets messy again LOL

I just felt like eyebags fit Xavier a lot. I also gave him a mole! I thought his face felt empty without a mole and for some reason I just keep thinking he has one and then I look at him and I'm shocked he doesn't have one LOL But I also think the whole "Your moles are where your lover kissed you most in your past life" soulmate thingy. I think it'd be cute if Daye(one of my mc's. But I think it'd be cute to see moles on where other's mc's kiss Xavier the most!) was a cheek kisser in every timeline.

I think it's like...pretty impossible for Xavier NOT to have a single scar, no matter how good he is right now. I honestly feel that way about most the men(Other then Zayne since he has scars) but like Xavi's a hunter and ur telling me I can't find a single scar on his body?? So I gave him one on his jaw and one on the corner of his mouth! There's multiple more scattered around his body as well!

Speaking of his body, I think he'd have a sleeper build LOL!! Just for those who don't know, a sleeper build is when someone doesn't look strong and doesn't have obvious muscle, but they're strong and the muscle is hidden. I mainly chose this cause of the name LOL

I also gave him heterochromia, I just thought it would look nice LOL

RAFAYEL

I made the tips of his fingers blue, I did think about red and I might try that honestly, but it's because he's a Lemurian. I wanted something kinda subtle to show that(Its not that subtle with Raf though since he's an artist and uses his hands LOL)

I did also give him longer hair and I wanted to keep it fluffy! I might also mess around with a bit more wavy hair! I also made one of his little side bangs just a bit longer for some asymmetry, I wanted to add hair clips but decided against actually drawing it in the end!

I also added a teal streak to his hair. I already like Raf's design so I wasn't really sure what to change, so this just seemed a little fun. I think its like a little artistic streak.

Raf does NOT have muscles, don't even play with me. No matter what the game shows, Raf will always be a little stick that I can pick up.

I also think that Raf might have a few tattoos! Not too many, I think he'd cry getting every tattoo cause it all hurts him. But I also think he would like to see his own body as kind of a canvas(This is also something that I do to myself and others. I love painting on myself and other people) That said I think after a while Raf probably decided against getting anymore tattoos and just doodles and paints on his body, he also likes that he gets to change it up more.

ZAYNE

okay...I prommy I wasn't going to originally give Zayne longer hair. I think the short and clean look suits Zayne and his personality well. But also...I think it's really fun to kind of imagine liking having long hair(A little throwback to "Master of Fate")

Anyways, Zayne with some of his hair tied back is WOOOOO MAMA!! I do wanna play around with a little ponytail too, which is what I think he'd actually do while performing surgeries.

I did give him eyebags as well. Bro works super late sometimes and struggles with nightmares and insomnia, yeah he has eyebags.

I didn't change too much about Zayne honestly. I was thinking about adding glasses permanently but also decided against that. Though I do really like Zayne in glasses so I wanna draw him in them more, I just also hate drawing glasses.

SYLUS

okay...most notably, Sylus has the longest hair! I don't know why but for some reason I always remembered his dragon form having long hair, which it literally doesn't. Anyways, long fluffy mullet Sylus supremacy idk. LOL

^ his hair also has a bit of a red gradient. I didn't want it to be too obvious, but his hair felt a little lacking without it!

Also I gave his arms a dark red gradient, I also think he'd have claws I just didn't draw them. These are also because...half dragon. I know they aren't the hands he had as a dragon, but I wanted them to be more human.

It's so subtle, but I gave him fangs.

I didn't even think about it but I might mess around with slightly pointed ears. a more subtle touch to show he's not human.

I did also think about giving him little horns and wings, but decided against that. I also decided again red streaks on his hair and landed on the gradient instead.

CALEB

Caleb is one of them I'm STICKING with long hair for. He looks so good with a mullet I feel like I belong in a psyche ward.

I gave him little white streaks in his hair, It's supposed to be heat damage but aesthetic from the ✨explosion✨ once again, not really meant to be realistic at all.

Its also so subtle, but I traced one of his pupils with red because I think it'd be even more tragic is Caleb had lost an eye and it got replaced with a mechanic one, like his arm. I think it'd be useful for scanning people and recording their actions too. And I think it'd also be tragic if his vision was warped from this eye, like it doesn't really view properly. I'd have to draw out what I mean eventually cause I don't think I'm making any sense.

i didn't do it but god, him having a little slit in his brow would be so good too, with like a little scar there.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed my silly little redesigns! Once again the art I edited belongs to Love and Deepspace!

[2-old-to-guard]

Nicolò, Nicky, di Genova

For the second analysis I shall be exploring the inner workings of Nicky. Now, Nicky is a VERY quiet character so a lot of my analysis shall be subtext delievered by the amazing Luca Marinelli who put 110% into this role.

First Impression:

The first time Nicky is mentioned is between Andy and Booker. He uses the couple as a tactic to get Andy to consider the mission. (You can see that when Booker looks at Andy immedietly after Nicky opens the door).

This is actually the first example of Nicky being the first line of defence. He opens the door while Joe hangs back. But both of the men relax when they see her. The hug Andy and Nicky is much more soft than the one between her and Joe which shows Nicky's more reserved character. It also heavily differs to the ways Andy and Booker touch each other, which is discused in Booker's post here. I also like how the couple are kind of matching shirts, I think it's cute.

Relationships:

I've spoke about Nicky and Booker in my Booker post so you can read that here. But from Nicky's perspective, I believe he's humoring Booker and clearly holds no actual anger when he loses. He's known Andy for longer than Booker and must know she'll guess the baklava. But he places the bet anyway as it seems to be a little tradition between the duo, giving them a unique relationship. Finally, it shows they have a rather flippant approach to money as they bet A LOT of money on this silly bet, which could also show how long this bet has been going on for.

Nicky's role in Andy's story is to be the constant postive approach to their immortality. He is clearly under the belief that their long life has to mean something and this is what fate has dictated they do with their undeath. At the beginning Andy is hostile to this and snaps at him multiple times. Simply through their differing personalities, they have the least connection but the small moments they have together show their love. He is also another gift giving person and gives her the baklava in a rather affectionate way. Unlike Booker, Nicky values gifts that serve a purpose (food).

I'm going to talk about Joe and Nicky in the Van scene as it deserves its own section.

Sniper:

Nicky is the sniper of the group which continues through the beginning sequence. Each of the members have their specific role.

I like the little moment where Copley waves at Nicky through his rifle. It's subtle but works to explain Nicky's later remark:

"We are usually a better judge of character."

As it gives Nicky and Copley a moment before the betrayal.

Sudan:

Nicky is the only immortal to talk to the group of people they pass on their mission.

This analysis is inspired by this post. It's subtle but it shows Nicky's kindness and how he goes out of his way to be kind to people. It's not just about rescuing people from kidnappers, it's about being kind to people.

Also, I think it's interesting that Nicky knows many languages and goes out of his way to speak to people in their native tounge.

Another subtle moment of showing the skills each of the Guard have. Not only does Nicky kill two guards with one bullet, he also catches the shell casing to ensure no evidence is left behind.

As the mission is revealed to be an ambush, Nicky's sole focus is on the hypothetical girls, even after they are killed. Nicky believes Copley is on their side and so cannot comprehend that he lied to them.

Whilst Joe is discussed as being "an incurable romantic", Nicky also has his moments. Specifically, in this scene Nicky dies looking at Joe so when Joe turns to see if Nicky is still alive, Nicky is already staring at him.

Later on, when Andy is fully in despair Nicky tries to comfort her with the same line as before. But this time, Andy snaps at him. This is the middle part of this conflict between them. The first is the status quo, the second is the conflict, the third is the resolution.

Contextually, Nicky's first conflict was the Crusades and that is considered one of the worst conflicts in history. Nicky most likely feels immense shame for it and that is what drives his need to do good. Saying they did what they did "For the right reasons" shows Nicky is acknowledging you can do it for the wrong reasons. He shows great sadness at Andy's cynicism in this scene but doesn't say anything, once again showing his reserved nature.

The Dreams:

As stated previously, the ways each of the characters interpret the dreams shows us something about their characters.

Nicky is the first person to state what he saw in his dream and he zeros in on who the new immortal and what she looks like. Next, he talks about the surroundings "dirt walls, clay walls". Thirdly he brings up the weapon that is used. "The pesh-kabz is an Indo-Persian knife used extensively in northern India and Afghanistan". In three lines, Nicky has figured out the physical appearance of the new immortal, the setting in which she died, and the geographical location of the new immortal. This scene highlights Nicky's practical nature, similar to the way he used his rifle to kill two men at once to ensure the alarm wouldn't be raised.

From Nile p.o.v all she sees of Joe and Nicky is them embracing. Joe and Nicky's first priority is love, whether for each other or the rest of their family.

This is immedietly followed by Nicky's monologue about one's first death. This scene, like "peace be with you", shows Nicky's empathy for other people. He immedietly decides to save her not for a practical reason (like Andy), but for emotional reason.

"Whoever she is, she’s confused, and she’s scared, and she’s more alone than she has ever been in her entire life."

This also seems to be him emploring Andy's softer side, which works and shows how close Andy and Nicky are and how well he knows her.

Finally, Booker claiming that Nicky always had Joe is incorrect as he woke from death alone and was isolated for many years before they put their differences aside (apologies for the Booker slander but my boi deserved that).

The Dinner Scene:

In many of the deleated scenes, Nicky has a strong passion for food. This was cut but this moment where he smiles seeing Nile eat his food is really cute and shows his caring nature.

I also like the subtle difference where Nicky finishes Joe's sentence after Nile appears confused:

"So you good guys or bad guys?"

"Depends on the century."

"We fight for what we think is right."

I don't know why no one talks about this but Nicky is the first one in the relationship to tell Nile about it.

This line doesn't hit as hard at the van confession but it's so simple in the way it states that Joe and Nicky are together. It's so sweet how Nicky doesn't even hesitate in explicitly stating his love for Joe.

There is also a little regret in the way he says "many times" which adds to Nicky's regret over the crusades.

The scene, for Nicky, ends when he notices how conflicted Nile is and offers her a place to rest. Another example of Nicky's kindess.

Quynh:

Nicky and Joe's sleeping pattern has been highly analysed by the fanbase so I won't talk about it in a lot of detail. While Joe is shielding Nicky with his body on the train, Nicky is protecting Joe with his body in Gousanville safe house. Nicky, as the sniper, is the most observant of the group and is awake and alert first out of all of them. He also has a gun in his hand by the time Joe and Booker are awake.

I think it's very important for Nicky and Joe be the ones to talk about Quynh. For Nicky's side, he must feel immense guilt for the imprisonment of Quynh as it was his fellow christians who dropped her into the bottom of the ocean. The guilt he feels is shown through the camera angle. Andy views Nicky talking about the witch trials through a church window. Whilst it's commendable that the movie keeps Nicky a christian even after his long life and his relationship with Joe, it adds to his complexity as he fully recognises the crimes of his fellow christians but remains faithful, probally because the same God that make him immortal gave him the life he has with Joe. He also fights through his pain to explain to the scared Nile what she saw. His kindness doesn't blind him, however, and he allows Andy to be the one to talk to Nile after she storms off.

The Van Scene:

Whilst Joe and Nicky are joined together for the most part, to the point where they are mostly referred to as Joe and Nicky, they are their own seperate people. Joe is more outspoken and emotional whilst Nicky is reserved. This is most clearly displayed with the different ways each of the characters react to the homophobic comment from the guards.

While Joe begins to preach to the men, Nicky says very little. He shows exhaustion at the comment rather than just anger, showing how this kind of bigotry is nothing new to him and someting he is tired of. As Joe's speach continues, Nicky goes from tired, to touched. As Luca said it an interview, all he had to do was get lost in Marwan's eyes.

But Nicky isn't completley emotionless. By the end of Joe's speach, Nicky is overcome with love that he leans forwards and kisses Joe. The focus on him in this scene makes it seem like Nicky moved first and Joe followed. Another moment of Nicky being the first to show affection to Joe.

All of this culminates in them kicking the guards ass as all good power couples should.

Whilst the idea of them only doing this because they're homophobic is funny, in the comics it's clear that they did this to try and escape. Still, this one of the first time Nicky is snarky. I believe this is Nicky putting on a persona to try and intimidate the mercanaries and make them unsteady in another attempt to escape.

This is also the first example of Nicky absolutley gagging someone. Having him turn to Copley and say "We are usually a better judge of character". Copley holds an immense respect for the immortals so having one of them dunk on him works well to support his change of allegience later on.

The Merrick Confrontation:

Again, another scene that foucses on Joe's outspokeness. But Nicky is again subtly displaying more of his character.

After Joe headbutts Merrick, Nicky subtly tries to reach for Joe. He probally realises this will result in something bad and so tries to protect Joe.

When Joe is stabbed, Nicky, for the second time, loses his composure and tries to reach for Joe. From the a story writing perspective, obviously this will not kill Joe, but having Nicky be so reserved for the majority of the film his out-of-character panic adds to the tension of the scene.

As Merrick monolouges neither of the couple are really listening. Nicky is solely focused on Joe and making sure he's ok. You can see Luca subtly look to Joe's neck before moving in for the blessed headbump. The fact that Marwan and Luca improvised that, probally inspired by the deleted scene where they do the same thing, hurts my soul. Anyway, it is only when he knows Joe is ok, Nicky then focuses on Merrick. This could also show to symbolise that Merrick isn't the threat Nicky is worried about. That fear is reserved only for death.

The Lab Scene:

Despite being in extreme pain, Nicky doesn't scream and tries to keep in any noises. This could serve two purposes,

The first is that he doesn't want to give Kozak the satisfaction of seeing him in pain. Including lines such as "do you feel the wound trying to close?" shows she clearly holds more sadistic interest in these experiements.

The second purpose is that he doesn't want to worry Joe. From the following dialouge, "As much as I like watching you sleep, I’m glad you’re awake" he was working under the assumption that Joe was asleep and if he was asleep, Nicky screaming would wake him.

This is the second example of Nicky gagging his captors. But this one seems to go over Kozak's head, which makes me laugh. The script has to balance the weight of each of the characters' lives with making them seem relatable and like real people. This is an example of Nicky's imortality dictating his response. Even though Kozak is actively torturing him, he holds little resentment towards her and admits he understands her actions. From a personal perspective, his involvment in the crusades, and from a historical perspective, all the ways humanity has experimented on others claiming to be trying to save the world.

When Joe wakes up, Nicky tries to soothe his panic by saying, "As much as I like watching you sleep, I’m glad you’re awake". The couple are clearly trying to pretend that what is happening to them isn't happning. I think Nicky is the one who is more accepting of what they are going through.

The subtle smile Luca does when he says 'Malta' shows him letting nostalgia consume him insted of fear. But when he says "we should go back", he's letting the reality of the situation settle in again. But he still holds hope that they will escape, showing the trust he has in Andy.

The Lab Scene Continued:

The despair on Nicky's face can be seen from the beginning of this scene. He seems genuinley shocked that Andy has been captured, once again showing how much he's trusts her. The difference between Joe and Nicky is shown again when they react to Andy's mortality. Nicky slowly lowers his head whilst Joe's is more explicit.

Furthermore, when Nicky says "All things", he isn't looking at Merrick. He's seemingly looking at the sky, possibley towards God. He's not angry but instead seems to be sad and accepting.

The final example of Nicky gagging his captor. The line "as is yours" works in two ways. The first is to remind Merrick that for all his money, and influence, and connections, he is still mortal and he will eventually die long before Nicky ever does. Secondly, it works as a threat. Merrick is reminded that the extremely skilled killers he has tied up in his basement could in fact escape and they'll come straight for him. Nicky's reserved attitude could make him seem a passive character but lines like that show the anger that bubbles beneath the surface.

The Final Battle:

This is really short but despite not knowing Nile for a day, Nicky still warns her about the incoming attack.

For all his talk of 'we die when we die' Nicky is still worried about risking Andy's life. It's the only time his faith is really disputed and this time, Andy reassures Nicky's faith which is a fun development between them.

This fear for Andy is further shown in the fight scene. Nicky is consistantly looking for Andy and making sure she's ok. This fear leads to his own injury.

Joe and Nicky's relationship is further shown in the absolute confidence Nicky holds for Joe. He doesn't even look behind him during a fight as he knows Joe will be right behind him. I actually love this too.

Also, this shot of Nicky glaring at Booker shows that even though he doesn't want to punish Booker AS severely as Joe, he still holds an immense amount of anger towards Booker. This difference between Joe and Nicky might be due to their differing realationships with Booker. Nicky and Booker were less affectionate, and possibly more distant so his betrayel doesn't hurt Nicky as much... but it does.

The Keane Scene:

This is the final moment where Nicky's calm demenor is uprooted by an intense emotional moment. At first, when it is just him in danger, he uses skilled fighting techniques to fight Keane. But when Joe is the one in danger, he just lunges for Keane just to try and save Joe. This scene is highly controversial as many people see it as unnecessarily violent and too close to real life crimes against gay people. From my perspective, it is meant to symbolise the way gay people have persevered despite their many struggles. It's why Nicky doesn't die in this scene and it ends with the couple embracing.

Also, despite having just DIED, Nicky first concern is Andy which is the pinnacle moment of his kindness.

Final Nicky Scenes:

With everything we've learnt of Nicky throughout the movie, it makes total sense that he's the first person to reach Nile after her fall. Unlike Booker, who was just telling her to give up on her old life, Nicky tries to show her that her new existence is worth something just like he does with Andy.

As as stated by https://www.tumblr.com/wickedpact/629810255706079232/love-is-stored-in-the-nicky?source=share, him willing sitting in the middle is so quintessential Nicky.

After all the debates around what is their purpose and why they are what they are. This quick shot of Nicky smiling after Nile's line "maybe this is why Andy" is the resulution to his arc through the movie.

His arc doesn't work in the way that they usually work. He doesn't change in his beliefs or world-view and instead, it is other people realising that he was right. It also involves him realising his is right and having his world-view confirmed.

Conclusion:

Like Booker, Nicky serves a specific role in the movie. Most of the other characters are loud and outspoken but Nicky serves as the quiet warmth in the background. He doesn't go through any major crisis and seems mostly self-realised. On the opposite end of Booker, he stands as the angel (hah) on Andy's shoulder and gives her the second option for the reason for their life. Also, shout out to Luca Marinelli for doing all of this with such little dialogue!!

[waynes-multiverse]

So happy to have you back! And again, hopefully no stitches were torn during the consumption of this 😂❤️‍🩹

lolll I don't want to doubt him, but somehow I feel like it's gonna take a lot more than junk food and half-baked charm to win her back on this one. 😂

You'd think, but she has known this idiot for a long time. She accepts it with an eye roll and a sigh 😂

"Green-eyed chaos theory" is such an apt description, I'm dead! 😂 It's also conjuring mental images of Jurassic Park Era Jeff Goldblum.

Hahaha I thought that was so fitting for him. Glad you agree 😂 And omg, yes, total Jeff Goldblum vibes!! lmao

The whole mission of why she's here is so compellingly detailed and feels very authentic. It feels like an episode of what Jensen's new show Countdown might be like!

Ooof, don't remind me all the fanfics Countdown will inspire 👀 But thank you so much! Huge compliment 🥰

You know I love my crime and spy stuff. I blame watching too much Homeland for this lol

I love these Colter interjections, because he's thinking the same things I'm already thinking about Russell's mysterious life lol.

Aww, I'm glad you enjoy these. I could totally see him quietly listening with a furrowed brow, trying to learn more about his brother, and then totally go, "Hmm? What now?" loll

We already know from Polaris that I like to fill in blanks 😝

God Russ seeing the pictures of their kids on her phone wrecked me. 😭😭😭

I swear everytime I mentioned their kids in this story, I cried 😭 That's such a tough spot to be in, not seeing your kids and watching them grow 🥲

But their conversation went from heartbreaking to hilarious to... *ahem* hawt, to drawing me even more into their complicated web and wanting to know everything that went down between them for them to be estranged like this, yet they're so clearly made for one another. 💕

I'm glad their connection came across. I was a little worried since my head has already filled in so much gaps from the prequel that it's hard to tell if it makes sense to everyone else as well 😅

And their estrangement was not entirely planned, but I mostly wanted to show that these two are so connected that they knew they can survive a temporary separation. I love playing with the "fated love/soulmates" trope quite a bit lol

Thank you so much for reading, Alex! I hope you feel better soon and can relax a little before life gets crazy again 🤪🩵

The Exit Strategy – Part 3

Summary: Russell is ready to hang it all up and retire, open up a brewery, and enjoy the rest of his civilian life. However, there’s one important thing missing before he can take the big plunge. Luckily, he knows just the right person to help him find it.

Pairing: Russell Shaw x Female!Reader

Warnings: 18+, language, some spice & implied smut (incl. a bit of dirty talk), mentions of a terrorist attack, a tiny bit of angst & feels, fluffy fluff

Word Count: 6.8k

A/N: Thank you guys so much for your feedback on the last two parts! So happy I get to finally share this little adventure with you and that you all loved it so much 🥹🩵 Welp, let's dive in before I get too fucking sappy... 😝

Main Masterlist || Series Masterlist || Tag List

Part 3: This Is a Heart-To-Heart

With pursed lips and a clicking tongue, Russell’s eyes skimmed the seemingly endless aisle of breakfast cereals, his pointer finger drifting from box to box before it landed on the Lucky Charms. His lips rose to a satisfied grin, his heart skipping a beat as a memory popped into his mind.

The supermarket’s PA speakers announced the opening of a third cash register during the evening rush as Colter stood idly by, hands in the pockets of his jacket, and blew a raspberry. In his periphery, Russell could see his younger brother check his watch for the fifth time and smiled a little to himself.

“Russ, uhm, hate to break up your very serious choice of breakfast cereal here, but we need to move. We’re gonna be late,” Colter finally dared to remind him. Russell had wondered how long it would take. “Can’t you do your grocery shopping some other time?”

Russell only chuckled at that. “Oh, this isn’t that. I need this for tonight.”

“Uh-huh.” Colter wasn’t entirely convinced. “You do know we’re invited to dinner, right? There’s gonna be food. You don’t need to bring a–,” his eyes narrowed at the item Russell threw into the cart, “–box of Lucky Charms. Wow. Okay…” Colter scratched the nape of his neck. “You know, most people bring a bottle of wine. Flowers… You want me to–”

“Nope, I’m good.” Russell shook his head. “I have a plan, alright?”

“Oh, so now you have a plan?” Colter deadpanned. “Where was that plan when I got beat up in a supermarket alley?”

Russell snorted a laugh and cocked his brow. “Is that why you’re so jumpy since we walked in here? Did she actually give you supermarket PTSD?”

“I’m not jumpy,” Colter defended with a too defensive shrug.

“Well, alright, I’m almost done here,” Russell assured him and pulled out a tiny piece of paper with unreadable scribbles on it – his shopping list. “All I need now are Nacho Cheese Doritos, rocky road ice cream, brownies, and potato chips. Luckily, I already got the beer in the trunk.”

Colter’s frown deepened, but his lips quirked a tiny smile of amusement. “Alright, should I even ask?”

Russell laughed. “Trust me. Those are all the things I need to win her back. I know what I’m doing.”

Colter relented with a sigh. “Alright, gimme the list. I track down the snack aisle.”

“If you find them, I’ll give you a five dollar reward, little brother,” Russell quipped, earning him the middle finger as Colter rounded the corner.

Russell exhaled a sigh of relief once he was alone. All afternoon, he’d wracked his brain if he could or should tell Colter about you – about the fact he had a wife and two kids. Was now the right moment? Or had it already come and gone?

And if Russell was looking for a petty excuse, he could just audaciously claim Colter never asked. Never asked if Russell had someone special in his life. Never asked if he was an uncle yet. So, was it really on Russell to offer information that was never asked of him? Now, that wasn’t really his nature, was it?

Like he said, petty excuses…

Russell knew it was (mostly) on him. He did give way to the illusion he was a lone wolf without any strings anywhere. At the end of all his pondering, however, he came to the conclusion it was best to let you navigate how to proceed. You’d always been his compass.

On a late summer evening, with the sun slowly approaching the horizon and dipping the suburban cul-de-sac in shades of golden orange, you found two men on your doorstep: One who only looked familiar despite knowing him almost your entire adult life, and one who seemed familiar, even though you’d never met him before, but some unmistakable features and mannerisms reminded you of your husband.

Said husband beamed at you from ear to ear, carrying two paper bags worth of groceries in his arms. “Hey, sweetheart.”

The heart in your ribcage pounded faster as your eyes landed on his smile. Nothing and no one ever broke your composure or pulled the rug out from under your feet – but Russell had always managed to do both since day one.

“Well, I guess… come on in, guys,” you said with a small sigh of hesitation and held the door open wider, mentally preparing for an entirely unplanned night – they usually were whenever you spent time with the green-eyed chaos theory.

Never in a million years did you think you’d end up here when you met a young soldier on a sunny day at the American embassy in Iraq and put him through a baptism of enemy gunfire only a few hours later. And to be fair, he’d always been handsome, but the quirky shit didn’t reveal itself till later. If Russell Shaw had been a book, you would’ve definitely misjudged him by his cover.

Russell set the brown bags down on the kitchen island, a small smirk flickering across his plump lips. Internally, you heaved another sigh. Of course the idiot would think about sex – a curse conjured up by your own making. If Russell ever had a bad influence in his life, it would’ve been you.

“So, what did you bring me here?” you entertained his little plan, spying into one of the bags. You already had a pretty strong inkling of what might be inside, your heart swelling that he, A, cared and, B, even went as far as making a thoughtful, swoon-worthy effort.

He used to do these things all the time – till it all eventually stopped.

“Only the best for my girl,” Russell said, chuckling giddily as he hauled a tub of rocky road from a bag as if he was making a bunny appear from a hat. Only in your opinion, it was a way better magic trick.

“Oh no, you are the fucking best!” You squeezed his shoulders, short of jumping fully on him, with a grin from ear to ear. Your cheek muscles even began to hurt. You hadn’t smiled this much in ages. “Look at this! You even got brownies! You’re unbelievable, Shaw. You know I’ve been craving this shit for months. We’re supposed to be an organic family,” you explained with an eye roll, your hands still rummaging eagerly through the bags.

“Yeah, I figured somethin’ like this. Remember when you had to pretend to be vegetarian for that greenwashing gala?”

“God, don’t remind me. The asshole served cauliflower steaks and then turned around and shot a fucking lion,” you scoffed, both of you chuckling at the memory. Russell had been right in the chicken coop – it felt like no time had passed at all.

Not touching him and falling into his strong, warm embrace was hard. Not kissing him was harder. And being in his near vicinity without doing any of these things was unbearable. You weren’t just important to Russell; he was important to you, too. For a long time, he’d been the only person you could trust and confide in. You never lied to each other – that had been a rule.

“Wow, okay, so this is different,” Colter noted, you and Russell both glancing up at the young man across the island. As he was only met with two furrowed brows, he clarified, a finger gesturing to your cross necklace. “Just the-, uh, the whole swearing… I mean, at church you were… you know.”

You laughed when you realized what he meant. God knows your aliases had confused the shit out of Russell in the beginning, too – till he learned to take advantage of your role-playing skills. Then, he had tons of fun with it.

“Yeah, I know. Quite the mind-fuck, isn’t it? I usually only pretend to be someone else for a short job – a day or two, a single event. Deep-covers like this aren’t my favorite either,” you shared and hoped it would signal to Colter that he could relax. If his shoulders became any tenser, you’d worry they might freeze that way.

“Speaking of, where’s your husband?” Russell chimed in with a teasing grin.

For the briefest second, your reply would’ve been, “Which one?” Russell could see it, too – the twinkle in your eyes – but then you stopped short when you noticed his look.

Colter didn’t know you two were married. Oh, Russell…

“Basement. Finishing up our report,” you said in a quieter voice, turning on the faucet of the kitchen sink.

Colter’s brow knitted with an amused smile when Russell turned on the radio as well. “Is that really necessary?”

“Can’t be too careful,” both you and Russell replied, not even noticing you spoke at the same time, too zoned in on your routine.

“Who’s your mark?” Russell then asked, leaning back against the kitchen island in an angle that shielded his presence from the window as you got to work on your fake dishes.

“Congressman Eric Mueller.”

“A congressman? Really?” Colter’s brow raised before his eyes showed a little intrigue. “What’d he do?”

“Selling sensitive national security information to foreign agents,” you answered.

“How’s the pastor involved?” Russell asked, opening a box of Lucky Charms and stuffing a handful of dry cereal into his mouth.

“How do you know he’s involved?”

Russell only chuckled at your blatant diversion. “Oh, c’mon! You’re an open-minded person. I know you don’t hate the man for no reason. So, what’s the reason?”

You sighed in proud defeat – checkmate for Russell. “Mueller is laundering money through the church. Pastor’s taking a cut.”

“And?”

“He’s a pedo,” you finally admitted, dumping a clean plate ungraciously into the soapy water before swinging around to meet Russell’s eyes.

“There it is…” He nodded with a winning smirk that felt wrong, rubbing a hand through his beard. “Thought I caught a bit of a creeper vibe. Figured it was just all the kumbaya Jesus shit.”

“I wish… Every time he touches my arm, I wanna cut his hand off with a fucking spoon.”

“Well, we might get to that later if we find the time,” Russell quipped, flicking a marshmallow into the air before catching it with his mouth. You frowned – your son did the same damn thing in the mornings. “What information is Mueller selling?”

“Security protocols, blueprints…” you replied.

“To what?”

“Mall of America,” was all you said before the kitchen fell silent. Crickets. Well, and the faucet and radio… “Our intel suggests they’re planning an attack in December.”

“Well, merry Christmas,” Russell huffed bitterly. “So, that’s the carrot.”

“Yup, that’s the carrot,” you confirmed.

The lives of innocent children and families going about their Christmas shopping in America’s biggest mall was what the agency used to lure you back into the field – the carrot in front of your nose.

For days, you had debated whether to take the job or not, leave your family, and go back undercover to do things no one else wanted to do. But one look through the door at your peacefully sleeping son and daughter made the decision for you. How could you not go? If you didn’t do this, other parents might not get the same courtesy of seeing their children safe and sound in their beds and kissing them goodnight. So, you left your children for the sake of others.

Russell nodded with understanding, telling you he would’ve done the same thing if he were in your shoes. You knew he would have. Still, a part of you felt incredibly guilty, always hoping that Lewis and Amelia would understand someday when they were older.

“Who is it? Russia? China?” Russell asked.

“Neither. It’s an extremist splinter group. Has ties to both ISIS and Hezbollah, but works mostly out of Iran,” you said.

“How did you infiltrate Mueller? A guy trying to blow up a mall doesn’t strike me as a good Christian,” Russell noted.

“Well, he’s not, but his wife, Clara, is. She’s very involved in the church. Was easy to get in this way. I helped her with a few charity events. She got me a job as a bookkeeper for the church, not knowing I’d actually find a bunch of evidence there. Afterward, she invited me for coffee. Now, we have brunch on Mondays, play bridge on Wednesdays and tennis on Fridays. I’m at her house all the time. God knows I have the place bugged in every room now at this point…”

“Bridge,” Russell snorted in amusement, earning him a scolding glare from you. “Does she know?”

You shook your head. “Nope, doesn’t have a clue what her husband’s up to. Wonder what that feels like…” you muttered the last sentence under your breath, Russell narrowing his eyes at you. “He was in the Navy. Stationed in Pakistan. We think he got approached there. He was probably a sleeper agent till he got elected.”

“How far is he in it?”

“Honestly, can’t say. He might be fully turned or just doing it for the money and glory.”

“Glory?” Colter cocked a brow.

You confirmed his shock with a nod. “The mall’s in his district. After the attack, the plan is to portray him as a hero who vows to avenge his constituents. Puts him on the map as running mate for the next election.”

“Then they’d have someone on the top level,” Russell deduced thoughtfully and then found your eyes. “We can help.”

You felt the creases between your eyebrows deepening.

“Yeah, and I already told you – no, thank you,” you huffed, shaking your head. “I didn’t tell you all this as a sitrep, Russ. I told you, so you know we have everything under control, and you can leave again.”

“We both know I’m not going anywhere,” Russell replied stubbornly, his stern gaze drilling into yours. “I can help.”

Undeniably, Russell, with his expertise and certain skill set, would be a helpful addition. You had never trusted someone more in the field than him. The two of you had been an unstoppable team. After almost twenty years together, you could communicate with just a single look. You knew he always had your back, just as he knew you’d always have his – and in the espionage life, that was probably the greatest asset of all.

However, while your mind all too eagerly agreed with him, your heart protested just as heavily. It was a high-risk, high-stakes operation, and a part of you wanted to protect him and keep him as far away from it as possible. You’d known that feeling almost your whole adult life – since the day you’d met him, you had wanted to protect him. Whenever you ignored him, shot him down, or even left him, you were always doing it for his own good. Protecting him meant sometimes hurting him.

But the persistent motherfucker never listens…

Bringing your husband into this and turning your children into orphans wasn’t your only fear, though. There was still Colter.

“Oh, I know you can. I trained you. Remember?” you retorted with a fiery look.

Russell clicked his tongue. “So, this isn’t about me. It’s about him.”

“Oh, ‘cause I’m not one of you guys?” Colter quirked a brow and assured you with easiness in the shrug of his shoulders, “I can handle it.”

Ignoring him, your focus stayed on Russell – the culprit. “You brought a fucking clueless wildcard into a clandestine operation! No offense, Colter…”

“None taken,” Colter said with pursed lips.

“Bad move, Shaw,” you continued directing your anger at your husband.

“I can vouch for him. He’s good, alright? Trust me. He helped me out with something before. And just recently, he even stumbled onto a DoD black site,” Russell reasoned with a weak chuckle like he was sharing the family newsletter.

Your frown intensified. “Yeah, the word stumbled really fills me with tons of confidence here.” Then, you expelled a deep sigh. “Look, I know you two had a weird fucking childhood, but you, of all people, know it’s not the same thing! He isn’t trained for this.” Your eyes then drifted to the younger Shaw. “No offense, Colter, but if I ever need someone to kill a bunny, I call.”

“Little offense taken,” Colter quipped with a creased brow.

“I assure you he’s good, alright? Great, even,” Russell said, stepping closer to you. Your heart jittered, the movement like dominos that fell a path from your ribs up your spine and down your arms where goosebumps formed in their wake. “Everything he doesn’t know, I’ll teach him on the road. You don’t have to worry about a thing, sweetheart. Shaws are excellent at improvising. Remember the helicopter?”

“I remember screaming and wishing to die quickly for two hours straight.”

Russell pursed his lips, hiding an amused smile.

“You can fly a helicopter?” Colter asked, brow rising in genuine interest. He slightly leaned forward as if to hear better, cherishing those bits and pieces of his brother’s mysterious life. He hoped one day he would’ve collected enough of them till the nonsensical puzzle matched the picture on the box.

“Yup,” Russell grinned boyishly, wagging his eyebrows. “Named her Birdie. She was a beauty.”

“She was a piece of shit. And he couldn’t fly at the time, hence all the screaming on my part,” you clarified.

“She made me take flying lessons after, but honestly, I had a pretty good handle on it the first time round,” Russell bragged, earning him another frown from you. His irresistibly green eyes then bored into yours. “But it worked, didn’t it? We’re both still here, right?”

You exhaled another long sigh. You hated when he was right.

“Just take tonight to think about it, okay?”

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” you softened, feeling a warm palm gently splay across your back – slightly lower than a friend would place it. You knew Russell was lulling you into agreement – you had taught him that damn trick yourself – but you couldn’t deny it felt so, so, so nice.

“C’mon, ice cream’s melting. Let’s get some unhealthy food into you before you chew someone else’s head off,” Russell teased.

“I am kinda hungry,” you admitted in a meek mumble.

“Oh, I know. I can tell.” Russell chuckled behind you and kissed the top of your head, his arms snaking around your waist.

Fuck. It felt too good. Too familiar.

You wanted his hands to wander down, fingers lifting your skirt, brushing along your inner thighs on their way up. You wanted his head buried between your burning legs, fingers bruisingly gripping your hips while his tongue dipped into your heat. You wanted him to step even closer, tear your lace panties down, pry your buttcheeks apart, and take you hard and deep.

God, you hadn’t had sex in forever. Who could think clearly like that?

Swaying out of his embrace, you grabbed one of the paper bags and looked at him suggestively. “Wanna take this downstairs? I have to show you something.”

Russell’s lips twitched with a smile. He knew what it meant – not here.

His gaze then drifted to Colter. “You’re gonna be alright up here for a while?”

“I’m good.” His little brother nodded with a shadow of a smile as if he had only waited for the moment the two of you would excuse yourselves and retreat.

“I’ll send Tom up here. Have him brief you,” you said, both brothers’ eyes then blinking at you.

“Does this mean I’m in?” Colter asked.

“If you want to, you’re in,” you stated and muzzled a sigh.

Colter’s head bobbed for a moment, a hand scratching his throat. “Well, not exactly something you say no to.”

Russell and you shared an amused look and both replied, “We know.”

“Oh, Tom’s also made some lasagna. I’ll tell him to feed you,” you added kindly.

“Thank you.” Colter matched your smile.

“Whoa, not so fast,” Russell threw in, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Did your cute little hands have any involvement in the making of said meal?”

“No, Tom wouldn’t let me get near it,” you huffed with an annoyed eye roll.

“Smart man,” Russell quipped and then turned to his younger brother. “You should be safe to eat it, then.”

His joke earned him a whack of his chest from you.

“Ow!”

Russell followed you down the creaking wooden steps to the basement. The walls were still raw, the giant room unrenovated. In passing, you switched on the washing machine for an adequate noise level and pulled back the thick, navy curtains to reveal a whole setup with desks and computers.

Russell whistled lowly, green eyes flashing around the room. “Got the whole spy gear down here, huh?”

“Yup.”

Sliding an old artwork to the side, you entered a code into the wall safe. It held mostly sensitive information but also some personal items. You retrieved your private phone before locking it again. You scrolled through your photos until you found what you were looking for, handing it to Russell.

As soon as his eyes landed on a picture of his son on a swing set – with a grin brighter than the sun and one that looked just like a copy of his father’s – Russell inhaled sharply, his grip on the phone tightening.

“He looks like you,” you said softly, leaning your head against his bicep, tangling your arms around his. Then, you swiped to the next picture. “That’s Amelia on her second birthday. She liked blowing out the candles so much, I had to light them seventeen times in a row,” you giggled. But Russell only swallowed thickly, quietly laying the phone down on top of the dryer. You could see the tears well in his eyes again. “Was this too much? I’m sorry.”

Russell shook his head, offering you a sad smile. “No, uhm, it’s too little.”

“Yeah, I get that. Feels like they change every time I turn around. Bet they’re already looking different now,” you said with the same regret-filled sadness in your voice.

“When this is over, you think I could see them?”

The hopefulness shimmering in his green orbs devastated you, adding a few more cracks to your already damaged and bruised heart.

“Of course you can. You can see them as much as you want,” you assured him. “Maybe Amelia first? She’s still little. I mean, it’s just–”

“No, I get it,” he brushed off your concerns with an easy smile, but you could see all the hurt underneath it. “Lewis is older. It’s more complicated. He probably doesn’t even remember me.”

“Russ… Of course he remembers you,” you said. “You’re his dad. He has a picture of you on his nightstand. He talks to you every day.”

Russell snorted a humorless chuckle, the guilt eating him alive from the inside out. “Kinda makes it worse, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t think it does,” you replied, smiling softly. “He missed you. We all did.”

Russell’s lips on yours took you by surprise, reminding you of the first kiss you’d shared – only back then, the roles had been reversed, and he’d been the shocked one.

The kiss was gentle and tentative, nothing hasty or thoughtless about it. He still tasted the same. He still felt the same, even though the beard tickled slightly. His large hands cupped your face – a perfect fit – his thumb sweetly caressing your cheek as he pulled back, hazy pine green eyes searching for yours.

“Sorry,” he said with a rather unapologetic smile and a bob of his Adam’s apple. “Couldn’t hold back any longer.”

“It’s fine,” you mumbled with a half-hearted shrug and tiptoed up to claim his lips again, your arms draping around his neck and pulling him closer.

What started slow and careful became a fever dream when your tongue slipped inside his mouth, his hands wandering down your sides till they reached their rightful place on your lower back. Your mind flooded with every kiss, every touch the two of you had ever shared, your heart close to bursting because it had found its missing piece again.

As he drew back, his nose brushed yours, his fingers lovingly tucking a few strands of hair behind your ear. His eyes then focused on the top of your head. A smile rose on your lips, guessing his intentions.

“Can I?”

You nodded, biting down on your bottom lip. “Go ahead.”

Carefully, he lifted the wig from your head, and a few sorries and giggles later, the fake hair was gone. Removing the hair clips and tie, you gestured with your chin to the desk.

“Can you hand me that blue case?”

Russell grabbed the small case and turned to you with a cheeky smile. “Eye drops, too?”

You nodded, and he came back to you with the requested items. Pulling your eyelids open with your fingers, you took out the colored lenses, placing them back in their case.

Russell held up the eye drops. “Want me to do the honors?”

You giggled and gave him another nod. “Yes, please. You know I hate doing that stuff.” Russell then gently pulled down your eyelid as you tilted your head back. “God, this feels so sexy…”

Russell laughed, the sound reverberating deep in his chest. “You’re always sexy. Doesn’t matter if I’m giving you eye drops or stitching you up.”

“That’s sweet, but shut up. We both know you’re lying. You’ve sewn me back together in some pretty rough states,” you remarked, but your cheeks couldn’t stop from rising higher and higher.

“And vice versa,” Russell said simply, administering the last drop into your right eye.

“Ugh, fucking burns.” You sniffled, blinking your eyes a couple of times till the sting subsided.

Russell’s hands then cupped your cheeks, bringing your focus to him. He smiled at you, bright and warm. “There she is,” he said softly, his voice only a whisper. Your heart tugged in your chest, trying to squeeze itself through your ribs just to be closer to him. “Missed those beautiful eyes.”

“You’re so cheesy,” you teased and pressed your lips on his, slow and sensual – careful. As you glanced up at him, your heart cracked a little more again, your eyes welling up and burning with tears.

“Hey, what is that? Why are you crying?” Russell worriedly checked on you like you were a kid with a fever, his thumb catching a salty teardrop that had escaped.

“It’s the eye drops,” you replied lightheartedly in a last ditch effort to hide the all-consuming guilt in your stomach.

Russell sent you a kind smile, stroking your cheek. “I don’t think it’s the eye drops, sweetheart…”

“I’m so sorry, Russ. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I thought I was helping you…”

“I know. I know…” he soothed and opened his arms. “C’mere.” As you fell into his embrace, he kissed your crown repeatedly, his arms holding you just as tightly as you held onto him. One palm patted the back of your head, the other rubbing your back in soothing circles. “I know you did, okay? And I know why you left. It did help, you know? To get my own head outta my ass… Just one of those things, I guess. Didn’t know I needed to hit rock bottom first before realizing what I’d lost. I’m only sorry I didn’t get my shit together sooner.”

Swallowing, with an ear on his chest, you listened to his heartbeat for a moment – steady, strong, safe. There wasn’t one single person in this world that could give you what Russell always could – comfort. It was what you wanted the most, what you needed during your worst times, and what you goddamn craved, always.

“You know, when you didn’t come back after a year, I was scared you finally found what you’re looking for, and it wasn’t me,” you admitted quietly, swallowing.

Before Russell, you barely ever shared your true feelings and thoughts with anyone, not even family and friends. Your heart, mind, and soul stayed hidden like your personality, your identity, and everything else that made you you. But Russell had always seen beyond the walls, the masks, and the aliases.

He drew back slightly, the hand that tangled in your hair lifting your head till you met his eyes and their loving crinkles. “Never gonna happen,” he assured you with nothing but honesty in his gaze. “You’re it, baby. You know I’m a one-and-only kinda guy,” he quipped, flashing you his signature grin. “You’re everything I ever wanted, sweetheart. The only family I ever had, really. I should’ve told you that sooner. Maybe you wouldn’t have left then.”

“This is soon enough,” you said and pecked his lips. “Why didn’t you tell Colter about me? Or the fact that he’s an uncle?”

With a sigh, Russell grabbed the brown paper bags, the ice cream in it surely melted by now, and settled down on the raw concrete floor, leaning his back against the rumbling washing machine. “Well, if we’re gonna talk, we might as well do it old school. Sit down. Eat,” he ordered you.

Taking a seat next to him, you grabbed a container of room-temperature rocky road and opened it. “Whoa, that is soup, yep!” you exclaimed with a laugh.

“Eh, it’s better when it’s melted anyway,” Russell remarked.

“So true…”

“Hand me the Doritos.”

“Yup.”

Quietly, you and Russell then created your dish like the two of you were parodies of Gordon Ramsey on the comedy channel, and only after savoring that first bite of rocky road cream soup with Nacho Cheese Dorito sprinkles (the croutons to your meal if you will), did you stray back to topic.

“So?”

“Right, uhm…” Russell scratched the back of his neck.

You snorted in amusement. “You always do this, you know.” He raised his brow, giving you a sideways look. “You change the subject and distract me in that cutesy way of yours.”

“I don’t think I’m cutesy.”

“You were twenty years ago,” you countered with a fond smile and took a crunchy, spicy spoonful of your soup. “I still see you that way sometimes, you know?”

“God, I hope not,” he groaned, chuckling. “That’s just horrifying.”

“You weren’t so bad. Pretty sweet, actually.” You shrugged, the hint of a smile tugging at your lips. Russell had always been the lost little duckling that had imprinted on you.

He smirked, but his cheeks betrayed him by turning sweetly red. “Yeah, that’s how I lured you in.”

“I don’t think you did much luring, big guy…” you retorted. “You had zero game.”

“What?!”

“Oh, c’mon, Russ… This can’t come as a surprise to you,” you said, giggling.

“Fine,” he caved with a roll of his eyes and chuckled lightly. He scratched the scruff on his throat. “Guess I was a little nervous that night. You were really intimidating.”

You snorted a laugh. “I know.”

“‘M glad you made the first move, though.”

“I made all the moves,” you corrected teasingly. Your gaze then fell pensively to your lap, where your fingers nervously fumbled. Your heart jolted once, like the jump start of a car. “So, uhm, you know… were you making any moves on other people?”

“People?”

“Women,” you clarified and pursed your lips. You didn’t look at him. You knew he would probably find your discomfort amusing.

“Ah.” Russell smacked his lips, trying his hardest not to grin. Then he looked at you – brow raised in an almost scolding manner, but his lips curved upwards and gave his act away, dimples barely hidden by the beard. He held that gaze till you finally met his green eyes. “Have you not been listening to me before? I told you – there’s only you, sweetheart.”

Your brows drew into a frown. “Don’t sweetheart me. It’s been three years, Russ.”

“So?” He twitched his broad shoulders. “You know that’s not a problem.”

“Well, that was before…”

Russell snorted loudly. The crinkles around his eyes doubled as he rubbed the tears out of them. “What, you think sleeping with you has suddenly awoken the dragon?”

“You don’t have to make it sound so ridiculous,” you muttered.

Russell licked his lips, nodding. “Well, news flash – you’re the only treasure for this dragon, baby.”

You stifled a gasp. “I said less ridiculous!”

His grin only broadened, but then he apparently decided to let you off the hook. “Look, in the past three years, has there been opportunity and maybe a little flirting? Sure. But nothing ever came of any of it. Twice, I came scarily close to kissing someone, but I bolted. Wanna know why?”

“Yes? I think…” you replied hesitantly, causing that infuriating smile of his to rise again.

“‘Cause all of it felt like cheating on my wife. So, are we done with this now?”

Defiantly, you shrugged him a nod, but your heart pumped warm, fuzzy happiness into your veins before Russell’s next question made them freeze again.

“Bigger question is, did you kiss a few toads? Or, you know, did some quacking?”

Your lips rose till dimples formed and your cheeks started to hurt. “Please let me be there when you give the kids the sex talk…”

“Okay, don’t even try to change the subject now,” he chided playfully. “I just meant out of the two of us…”

He choked on his words when you narrowed your eyes to a small glare.

“Out of the two of us what, Russell? Please finish that sentence.” Your voice rang with challenge.

“Nothing.” Sheepishly, he scratched the nape of his neck again. “I just meant that, you know, you’re the one who has more, uh… experience in that area.” When your glare morphed into daggers, he swallowed thickly and corrected course, clearing his throat. “Which, you know, I’m real happy about because God knows I’ve profited greatly off of it.”

“Are you slut-shaming me right now?”

“Nope, mm-mm. No, ma’am.” Russell’s lips pressed into a thin line. Then he muttered under his breath, “Not like you’ve sent more soldiers off to war than Bush… Ow!”

Russell rubbed the burning spot on his chest where you had punched him.

“That one hurt this time…” he groaned.

“Good.” The daggers in your eyes blunted back to a frown. You let out a sigh. “You’re an idiot. Please move on.”

“Yes, ma’am.” With curled lips, Russell bobbed his head. “So?”

Musingly, you then rolled your eyes to the ceiling, your head falling back as your tongue darted out between your lips. “Alright, let’s see… In the last three years, I’ve slept with one, two…” you muttered and then mouthed till #4, beginning to count on your fingers.

“Oh, stop it! You think you’re real funny, young lady, huh?” Russell huffed.

When you saw his exasperated expression, you bursted into laughter, the sound echoing off the bare concrete walls.

“C’mon, I had to,” you choked out your excuse between belly-crippling laughs and hysterical snorts. “I’m a single mom of two small children. I’m thankful if I get five minutes in the shower alone.”

Russell laughed a little too, but his heart flooded with relief. The thought of you with someone else had gnawed on him for some time, sharp little bites that pricked his soul. He didn’t know what he would’ve done if it were true – well, aside from dissecting amphibians.

“Almost gave me a heart attack, sweetheart,” Russell chuckled. “Can’t do this to me anymore. That was a young man’s game…”

Instead of uttering an apology, you captured his lips, kissing him till his head spun even more. His breathing quickened, his heart clinging to every last bit of oxygen when your tongue slipped past his lips. His hands tugged on your hips only all too eagerly until he had pulled you into his lap. Your legs straddled his muscular thighs, your clothed cunt rubbing against the growing erection in his jeans. Your underwear soaked at the thought of him splitting you open.

“Make me cum,” you sighed into his ear, nibbling on his lobe. “Want you inside of me again.”

“You’re killing me here,” he groaned as you kissed your way down his throat, teeth grazing over his skin. His fingers twitched with an itch to crawl up your thighs, push any obstruction to the side, and plunge right into your surely wet and waiting channel.

“Good,” you smirked, rocking your hips harder against his bulge.

“Sweetheart, I’d love to, but you’re not exactly quiet.” He chuckled against your lips. “We’d have to blast some death metal on the highest volume for the neighbors not to hear. Doubt they ever heard those sounds coming outta this house.”

With a frustrated huff, you relented breathlessly and slid from his warm lap back to the cold, empty space next to him, cursing the bad timing.

“First time I stitched you up was pretty memorable,” Russell noted after a labored minute, a tiny smirk tugging on his lips.

Your cheeks blushed, your chest still heaving with panting excitement, but you matched his mischievous smile with your usual cocky attitude. “Bet it was. I looked hot in that towel.”

“Yeah, you did. Had a pretty massive boner the whole time. Was surprised you never noticed,” Russell said.

You grinned. “Who says I didn’t?”

“Oh, I know you didn’t, or you would’ve jumped me right there in that bathroom,” Russell teased.

Gasping, you slapped his arm. “I did not jump you!”

“You kinda did.” Russell only laughed harder, with that same boyish grin he always carried when he was happy. “All you wanted was to pull my pants down and hop on for a quick fix.”

“Really? Are you done now?” you playfully scolded him. “And excuse me for wrongly assuming a soldier who’d been stuck in the desert for months with a bunch of other dudes might want sex if the opportunity arises.”

Russell’s boisterous smirk only grew wider. “You wanted me. You had it bad.”

The heat in your face was burning, your tongue poking the insides of your cheeks. “Alright, I don’t think you need an ego boost, Shaw.”

“Still think I’m handsome?” he asked you with a nudge of his elbow.

Pursing your lips, you musingly narrowed your eyes at him, assessing him in jest. “I don’t know. You are a little more rugged these days. The beard’s definitely a midlife crisis.”

Amused, Russell quirked an eyebrow. “Midlife crisis?”

“Yeah, what’s next? Buying a ridiculous car and brewing beer in your basement?”

“Actually, I brew it in the trunk of the ridiculous car.”

Your brows drew together. “Shit. Really?”

Russell laughed loudly, throwing his head back. “Yeah, really.” He then a hauled a bottle of unlabeled beer from the bag, handing it to you. “Taste it. It’s good.”

“If it tastes anything like that schnapps you made in that Guatemalan prison, then no thank you,” you retorted, uncapping the bottle and taking a sniff.

“I promise this wasn’t made in a designated pee bucket, alright?” Russell laughed. “Just drink it. Tell me what you think.”

“Alright, here goes nothing,” you mumbled and took a hesitant, quick sip. Then you took another longer one, squishing the liquid around in your mouth. Your brow raised. “Huh. Not bad,” you remarked, watching Russell’s grin widen. “Why do I taste marshmallows?”

Russell then fully beamed at you. “Knew you’d get it. Took me a while to perfect it. Wasn’t easy, you know? The secret is only adding one of those little Lucky Charms marshmallows. First try, I used the whole pack. God, that was gross.”

“That’s actually pretty genius,” you said with an impressed smile.

“Well, if it is, I kinda owe it to you. You were the OG food genius.”

Smiling, you leaned back against the washing machine with a small sigh, your head dropping to his broad shoulder as you snuggled up against him. He opened his arm and pulled you closer as you nursed your sweet-tasting beer. Russell placed another kiss on your temple, calloused fingers gently caressing your skin.

“When did this job get so hard?”

“Wasn’t it always kinda hard?” Russell answered your rhetorical question, mumbling half his answer into your hair.

“Guess so. Didn’t always feel that way, did it?”

“No, we had some pretty good times,” Russell said with a warm smile and pecked your crown once more.

“You think we’re bad people?”

Russell’s absentminded gaze dropped to you then, now fully focused. “What’s bringing this on, hm?”

You only shrugged in his embrace.

“Alright, I’ll play,” Russell said and then hummed. “Well, we’re not the best people…”

“I was hoping for a little more reassurance,” you said with a playful huff.

Russell chuckled softly. “Look, we always did what we thought was right. And we’ve seen real bad… evil. I don’t think we fall into that category, sweetheart.”

You nodded against his chest. “I guess so…”

Part 4: This Is Not an Exit

One of the things I loved writing most about this series were the deep conversations between all characters, but especially this one in the basement. Hope you enjoyed this as much as I did before we break some, uhm, news to Colter next week 😉

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