#also I���m im not very active here in like. a social sense.

[tex-now]

A Beast has been awakened. not to argue with op i agree with them entirely i just think a lot about this topic and have a lot to say

from what i've experienced. No! they are actually teaching it. not well but they are. however. takes a deep breath.

from what i've seen it's a potent mixture of teenagers being stupid as fuck and also social media actively encouraging less and less privacy online so they can sell your information for money.

let's look at the boring mainstream stuff first. not vents, not fandoms, like. tiktok dance video type shit.

tiktok is already a HUGE invasion of privacy mostly because it tracks basically everything in your phone what you like and what you scroll past to keep you scrolling and scrolling for hours on end. since videos are the most... idk common thing on tiktok, minors usually end up showing their face for videos, and their voice as well.

and also, since tiktok is a social media app, there's a lot of hate, that's very very easy to be spread, especially because it's so so simple to push that comment button and be an asshole. and since you can respond to comments with videos, and also since teenagers are stupid idiots with a fuck ton of emotions and an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, they make a lot of bad decisions. like. say. "well actually im depressed with 5 mental disorders so" and "actually m aunt is this and that here's proof" ecetera ecetera. as you can see. horrible combination.

and that's just tiktok. im pretty sure snapchat tracks your location so people can know where you're at, on many social media apps people can see who you follow, what you like, bad decisions you've made. there is a huge lack of privacy overall. sharing personal information is more commonplace than ever. sharing your name and your location is being taken less and less seriously because social media websites want more money and data and discourage any form of personal privacy.

also. attention. stimulation. the dopamine. getting likes on a photo of yourself in a cute skirt and random guys calling you a ten outta ten, because you don't register that this random guy is a 30 year old man or maybe you just dont care because. underdeveloped prefrontal cortex. a lot of teenagers are lonely and feel misunderstood, and simply don't have enough (or don't feel like they have enough people who support them), so they turn to social media for the attention they so desperately need. whether or not the attention is good doesn't usually matter to them.

Oh and also the way they teach internet privacy is bogus because they mostly show the worst case scenario like meeting a crazy guy online irl who you thought was good and he kills you and since teenagers are stupid they don't register that something like that could happen to them. also idk if it's just me but most teenagers don't take internet safety seriously at ALL. it's like. insane how little they care. (i also believe that social media itself is why they don't care but that's a whole other thing).

okay moving onto venting. so. um. a lot of teens don't have anyone else to talk to. that's the main thing. im not gonna say it's smart but like. for a lot of kids venting online is all they have. like. maybe their parents are abusive and they don't have a therapist or maybe if they talk to someone irl it could go wrong but. like. yeagh. once again it's a stupid decision to make but. like i keep saying. bad decision makers.

and more on the vents a lot of people tend to give them supportive messages and stuff, offering a shoulder to lean on, someone to talk to, and for someone who usually feels really alone and misunderstood? yeah it makes sense to teenager who doesn't understand the full scope of reprecussions for their actions.

OH RIGHT DISCORD EXISTS. yeah that's teenagers being stupid again and they should Not be doing that. on a public server. that will make everyone uncomfortable. nonono bad traumadumping is no bueno.

also another thing i think makes it worse is that adults on the internet want nothing to do with teenagers, which is totally fine! it makes sense that you wouldn't wanna be responsible for all of that, and there could be a loooott of backlash on you if they do somwething stupid. however. you put two bad decision makers (teenagers) in a room with no mediator and what do you think happens. bad decisions.

once again it makes total sense why adults wouldn't want that, i won't try and bring someone down for curating their own space that's just unfair. however i will say that when an older figure (not even necessarily an adult just someone older) actually interacts with a younger person they tend to maintain a safe and healthy friendship because the younger person has someone to guide them or follow by their example. once again. i totally understand why people don't wanna do that. im just pointing out that when it DOES happen it has a positive effect on them. okay i think im done

WAIT AND ANOTHER THING. a lot of what they teach about internet safety is really outdated and doesn't apply well into modern internet spaces.

okay NOW im done

the comfortability kids on the internet have is crazzyyy. you should not be vent-posting on a public platform. you should not be telling people where you live, your age, your full name, on a public platform. you should not be posting all your mental/physical illnesses in your bio on a public platform. did they stop teaching internet safety or what.

[joshuahong]

for some reason I feel something good happening to seventeen very soon...ever since 2017 pledis has made big changes regarding promoting seventeen and managing them.

2017 they released dwc which gained HUGE recognition internationally, then clap also gained and solidified their brand as self-producing and also shows how diverse their sound is imo?

2018 they had their japan debut which was SO successful, and ymmd broke seventeen’s previous records and svt is one of the top sellling boy groups after exo w1 and bts (AMAZING!!)

Now they’re entering the Chinese market!? with jun and minghao on the show cyzj joshua and vernon also doing activities in china???

I feel like svt is just gonna hit us with so much and the support they are getting worldwide is gonna shoot them to the top (they already are imo :’) I am just happy about svt gaining more carats!)

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

In derry girls, what did you think of the episode where clare came out? Im irish (republic) and gay so i love that it was included, but some of the language used makes me uncomfortable i guess? I get that NI in the 90s wasnt very accepting but the directors have said that they already portrayed it through rose coloured glasses so having michelle say d*ke feels unnecessary. I love the show though and can certainly look past it! I was just interested in what you thought :)))

Hey anon!

Personally I love this episode of Derry Girls! In fact it’s probably my favourite episodes. I already liked Clare as a character throughout the series, probably because I relate to her a bit too much, so to have her be revealed as gay was just like the icing on the cake. Good representation for northern Irish characters are few and far between, and gay northern Irish characters are basically non existent. Derry Girls was this hit TV show that provided many with the first chance to see themselves represented meaningfully on TV, and that includes myself.

However, I think there’s a lot of really important stuff in this episode that people either don’t notice or just don’t really talk about, which I do understand because Derry Girls is, at the end of the day, a comedy and it’s much more fun to quote characters like Aunt Sarah saying “you cannot move for lesbians these days” than to think about the darker side of Northern Ireland.

(T/W for homophobia discussion!!!)

(Also this sort of turned into a ramble about acceptance by the end of the post but I just have a lot of feelings on what Derry girls represents and I feel like non northern Irish viewers maybe don’t catch onto that because they don’t have the necessary context)

Derry Girls, as a show, is so interesting and personal to me because it manages to perfectly strike the balance between presenting Northern Ireland as a deeply flawed and divided country, but also presenting it as a place where people can be happy and live their lives to the fullest despite the ever present danger of the troubles. And that’s a genuinely refreshing portrayal of N.I that we usually don’t get. However I’d argue that if Derry Girls doesn’t at least try and illustrate, to some extent, the causal and very rampant homophobia of northern Ireland then it runs the risk of romanticising Northern Ireland at the time, which I think is incredibly dangerous. I do think that the show is intentionally more digestible and does filter things through rose tinted glasses, however I’d argue that simply glossing over the homophobia would have actually been a bit disrespectful to the queer history of Northern Ireland and could erase the experiences and struggles of the LGBTQ community in N.I, both then and now. If the show doesn’t acknowledge that things were shitty then we paint an inaccurate picture of what it was like, and arguably still is like, to be gay in Northern Ireland. And considering that Derry Girls is one of the very few good depictions of Northern Ireland, it’s incredibly important that it’s an honest depiction.

You specifically asked about Michelle, but I think it’s important to talk about Michelle and Erin in relation to one another, and how they are both products of their time and of a deeply homophobic society.

(Now I’m going to briefly discuss Michelle’s use of the d-slur here however I just want to acknowledge that I’m probably not the best person to talk about this since it’s a lesbian specific slur and I’m not a lesbian. I welcome any additions to this post!)

I think Michelle sort of represents the overt and “loud” homophobia that’s present in our society. Michelle saying the d-slur is far from the first homophobic thing she says. I mean It’s literally a running gag in series one that she calls James “gay” constantly. And the sad thing is that Michelle’s off handed comments throughout the series are incredibly realistic to what you’d hear in Northern Ireland even today. I remember the f-slur being chanted during break time at my primary school, without anyone fully understanding what that word meant. Michelle is a representation of the homophobia that’s deeply ingrained into N.I to the point where it’s not even thought about or even seen as an issue. I mean...no one ever really talks about Michelle’s comments. Now whether or not they had to include her saying a slur specifically to illustrate the homophobia of N.I is not for me to say. You could change that sentence in the script and I think the point of Michelle representing “loud” and homophobia would still stand.

On the other hand...I think Erin represents the much more insidious and “quiet” homophobia.

Firstly, she has no issue with capitalising off a very personal essay for her own gain, shrugs off any protests that this might be wrong and doesn’t consider how her actions may hurt the writer of this piece (who is later revealed to be Clare).

Even the language she uses is a bit uncomfortable, saying that “a real life lesbian walks among us”. Are lesbians wild animals or mythical creatures? That seems to be what Erin is implying here. Plus Erin tries to make it out to others such as Sister Michael that she’s doing this because she genuinely believes in equal rights and wishes to stick up for the LGBT community, but when Clare actually tries to come out Erin is clearly confused and she reacts very badly. I mean, Erin literally says she doesn’t want Clare to come out and demands she get back in the closet, and you can see how hurt Clare is by this reaction. And this scene is kind of played for laughs and I think that straight viewers probably found Erin’s reaction quite funny...but this scene hit way too close to home for me. It’s the classic “I have nothing against gay people, but I’d just rather I didn’t have a gay friend/child/co-worker because they make me uncomfortable” that’s way too common in Northern Ireland. It’s the idea that people can present themselves as liberal and open minded, but when finally confronted with something that doesn’t fit their narrative, their societal conditioning kicks in.

As a queer woman, it was never Michelle’s causal homophobia that made me uncomfortable, it was Erin’s reaction...because it hit way too close to home. It’s a perfect representation of the “quiet” homophobia that’s still a massive issue in Northern Ireland today.

(Also the context of when Derry Girls was released is super important! Series one of Derry Girls was released in 2018...but Gay marriage wasn’t actually legalised in Northern Ireland until January of 2020 and even then it was quite contested by conservatives. Now I’m not saying there’s social commentary here but that’s absolutely what I’m saying.)

Now I’m not saying that Michelle or Erin themselves are homophobic, nor am I saying that they’re bad people. I think that they are teenagers that have absorbed a lot of homophobic rhetoric due to the time and the society that they live in. Although Erin’s reaction to Clare trying to come out was painful to watch because it felt so real, I don’t think her reaction was malicious. Erin is a teenager who has grown up in a homophobic society and now doesn’t really know how to react to this new reality and probably didn’t realise how hurtful she was being to Clare. (This isn’t me trying to excuse her reaction, again I am part of the LGBT community and I’ve experienced that exact same reaction from people, it’s me trying to understand Erin’s reaction). Erin and Michelle have both absorbed rhetoric from their deeply homophobic society, and unfortunately this rhetoric continues.

Plus I just want to comment on this idea of acceptance and change in Derry Girls. Derry Girls is set in the time of great change in Northern Ireland, where people were sort of starting to accept that people are allowed to be British or Irish or both. But this process was messy and it wasn’t instantaneous. And the acceptance of the LGBTQ community in Northern Ireland was the exact same. It didn’t just happen overnight. It was a slow and messy process of change, of people re-evaluating their previous beliefs and being given the chance to grow as people and to learn how to accept others. That’s not to say people haven’t made mistakes in the past, because they have, but they’re willing to take the steps to change. I‘ve always thought the LGBTQ subplot of Derry Girls is sort of a parallel to the overall process of change in Northern Ireland in a political sense. And I think that flies over so many people’s heads because they don’t have that context of the political situation in N.I.

(And this theme of acceptance is seen again in the series finale of series 2 with James! ✨ Thematic consistency ✨ )

Because at the end of the day, Clare is accepted by the group. In fact, we see both the teenagers and the adults actively take steps to make her feel loved, welcome and accepted. My favourite moment will always be Granda Joe saying “you’re a very talented people” to Clare in the most earnest voice. Clare is still loved by her friends and although they don’t exactly know what they’re doing, they do try and show their support for her. They absolutely make mistakes, and they did hurt Clare, but they’re trying and I think that stands for a lot, especially at the time.

And I think all of what I discussed was absolutely necessary to Derry Girls. Derry Girls might be a somewhat rose tinted portrayal of Derry in the troubles, but it never tries to romanticise the situation that the teenagers were in (because no one should be romanticising the troubles). I think that this stance of portraying the harsh reality of homophobia in N.I is equally important to the narrative of Derry Girls. I see my own experiences in Clare, despite the fact it’s 30 years later, so if they didn’t at least attempt to show the homophobia in Ireland it would have felt disingenuous and too “perfect”. Again, I’m not saying that Michelle using the d slur was the right way to go about showing the “loud” homophobia of Northern Ireland. That’s not my decision to make. However, just because Derry Girls is making efforts to present Northern Ireland in a more digestible way to audiences (especially non northern Irish audiences) doesn’t mean they shouldn’t also acknowledge the reality of Northern Ireland at the time.

(This all kind of makes it sound like I want Clare to get hate crimed which I obviously do not want. I think the way that Derry Girls showed the issues in Northern Ireland were perfect and very much necessary, minus the use of the d-slur specifically which wasn’t necessary to the plot.)

Anyway thank you so much for the ask anon! This was much more rambly than my usual posts but I just really have a lot of opinions on Derry girls because it does mean a lot to me and it often does hit close to home.

[haich-slash-cee]

Is the print publishing world picking up online/fandom terms? How they are using them? How do we feel about this?

So this is... attention-getting, for folks who like to follow publishing and meta stuff.

https://twitter.com/sapphicxrey/status/1215065948677443584

https://twitter.com/TorDotComPub/status/1233391556750647299

(2nd tweet -- TW, mentions of non-con)

Are we seeing the beginnings of book publishers directly borrowing from online/fandom culture in promoting their books? How do we feel about these examples?

More below cut.

Exhibit #1: screenshots of Bonds of Brass promo from Jan 8 2020. (Which is probably going to have reactions of “haha, cute” at most.)

Transcript of blurb: 

“If you like... 

forbidden romances, “there’s only one bed”, cityships, weaponized umbrellas, powersuits, secret princes, best friends, best friends PINING, fake dating between PINING best friends, tactical streaking, the minivan of starships, cigar-chomping cyborg ladies, scary empress moms, galactic-level bisexual disasters, LEGACY (WHAT IS A LEGACY?), rooftop hopping, golden trios, rumblin’ drums, bootleg fireworks, BIG SPACE BATTLES PEW PEW, a surprisingly functional public transit system, mob trouble, one hell of a pilot, the inherent DRAMA of empire, a nice interlude in a river, smoking a joint that’s been on the floor, sick stunts, slick grifts, hiding in a dumpster, or any combination of the above,

 Then you might like 

BONDS OF BRASS”

The Twitter responses seem to be generally enthusiastic. (And also, “FinnPoe! FinnPoe!”)

Personally, I’m intrigued from a meta-view of “oh so that’s definitely pulling from online world and fanfiction world, interesting. I wonder how much fanfiction culture is starting to influence print book culture and promotion.” Maybe I’ve got some questions like, “Ok so moneymaking companies such as Penguin are now using culture developed by the not-moneymaking-world of fanfiction? How do we feel about this?” Anyway, the book looks cute, I’m interested enough and I might get it from the library.

I suspect many people’s reactions are along the lines of “hm, interesting”, “sounds like a lark”, or “haha they’re using AO3 tags as promo”, etc. 

Exhibit #2, screenshots of DOCILE promo, from Feb 28 2020 (today is March 1 2020), and screenshots of Twitter responses so far:

(*CW, non-con discussion)

Tweet transcript:

“DOCILE by @KMSzpara:  

-Dubcon/Noncon 

-Dramatic Trillionaire Content 

-BDSM and then some more BDSM and then a lot more BDSM

 -Hurt/comfort and hurt/no comfort

 -Cinnamon roll of steel 

-The most scandalous kink: love 

-Courtroom, bedroom, & Preakness drama

[Tor book website link]”

So this is getting mixed reactions on Twitter. All dozen or so reactions, so far. Here’s text transcripts and bio info from repliers, below. I’m being a little obsessive, mostly to show that there’s a mix of queer, book-ish people in the replies (including the author).)

Noncon is nonconsentual sex, rape. Even in fandom it's a content tag, not a promotional term. I can't imagine being a rape survivor and seeing this come across my TL. -- @WriteSomeGood [queer rainbow] [Cis queer homemaker, aspiring author, maker of incredible cinnamon buns. She/her] [has a Tumblr page]

I’m not a survivor but it was an instant “no thank you” from me. And I was sincerely looking forward to this prior to. This is the most immediately off-putting marketing push I’ve seen for a book in a long damn time. -- @AGAWilmot [Author, editor, artist. Co-EIC of @anathemaspec. @SFU alum. The Death Scene Artist/W&W 2018. Ace/enby. They/them. Horror is my comfort food.]

Whichever intern wrote this tweet, deserves a full time job. With benefits. -- @simeontsanev [Aspiring writer, post-aspiring musician, and overall geek  He/Him /[queer rainbow]/ To the world we dream about, and the one we live in now! http://simeontsanev.com]

Idk why everyone thinks it’s always an intern writing copy and not a team comprised of extremely skilled social media experts, editors, publicists and marketers, and their assistants  I worked on those tags with my editor and a good friend!! -- @KMSzpara [Kellan. [queer rainbow]  Speculative fiction writer. Queer agenda.  Hugo & Nebula finalist.  DOCILE 3/3/20 from Tor Dot Com Publishing.  He/him.  Rep @suddenlyjen] *The author, bio page and twitter page.

this is CUTE! -- @MSSciarappa  [queer rainbow] I do books. he/him.

I am Extremely Ready for this content thank u -- @JessicaBCooper [Journo ☽ Writer of faerie, villain fuckery & cruel desires ☽ Lestat & Loki's love child ☽ Aleksander Morozova's side-hoe ☽ Rep'd by Kate Testerman @ktliterary]

I’m listening -- @MerynLobb [Government worker. Weightlifter. Nihilist. Aspiring cult leader. Avid user of words, often bad ones. #AMM R6 Mentee. she/her]

Soon! Soon!! -- @castrophony [Geek. Gamer. Cosplayer. Bibliophile. Scientist. She/Her.]

[happy reaction gif] -- @TorDotComPub [Providing a home for writers to tell SFF stories in exactly the number of words they choose. All our titles are available globally in print and DRM-free ebook.]

[throwing stuff in dumpster, unhappy reaction gif] -- @cursedgravy  [name's xavi, im a transman and i like to daydream about making content] 

For more context, here’s the blurb from the author website. Below is the blurb from the publisher’s site:

“Docile

K.M. Szpara

K. M. Szpara's Docile is a science fiction parable about love and sex, wealth and debt, abuse and power, a challenging tour de force that at turns seduces and startles.

There is no consent under capitalism.

To be a Docile is to be kept, body and soul, for the uses of the owner of your contract. To be a Docile is to forget, to disappear, to hide inside your body from the horrors of your service. To be a Docile is to sell yourself to pay your parents' debts and buy your children's future.

Elisha Wilder’s family has been ruined by debt, handed down to them from previous generations. His mother never recovered from the Dociline she took during her term as a Docile, so when Elisha decides to try and erase the family’s debt himself, he swears he will never take the drug that took his mother from him.

Too bad his contract has been purchased by Alexander Bishop III, whose ultra-rich family is the brains (and money) behind Dociline and the entire Office of Debt Resolution. When Elisha refuses Dociline, Alex refuses to believe that his family’s crowning achievement could have any negative side effects—and is determined to turn Elisha into the perfect Docile without it.

Content warning: Docile contains forthright depictions and discussions of rape and sexual abuse.”

So that’s a lot of info and reactions.

Personally: at first glance, I absently skimmed the tweet and “hurt/comfort” popped out, and I was like “What? Mainstream publishing is cool with this now? I was wondering if ‘hurt/comfort’ would one day become commonly used in publishing [related post]. But this is way sooner than I thought.” And then I read the rest of of the tweet and thought, “Wait, what?” 

And then I started reading through the tweet replies and thought, “OK, at the risk of getting a bunch of Tumblr drama, I want to bring this to the whump community and see how people feel."

As for myself, one of my squicks is non-con, and I’m not really interested in hurt/no comfort. So just from the tweet, I know the book is not for me. The official blurbs confirmed that. In this sense, this is like skimming Ao3 tags on a fic and saying “pass” on a story.

However, I have questions about the specific promotion of the book. So the official blurbs are pretty standard. What about that tweet, which Tor (and the author, who helped put it together) put out? Because I think an official publisher’s Tweet comes with different context than Ao3 tags.

First, the different internet spaces. You can filter tags on Ao3 and Tumblr. I know you can mute words on Twitter, but is that the same thing? Also, would people be expecting these tags on Twitter? Compared to Ao3 or Tumblr or Tumblr Whump spaces?

Within the Tumblr Whump community, from what I’ve browsed, the community attitude (guidelines?) seem to be “Write and discuss what you want. Be sure to tag it, use content warnings, or otherwise clearly communicate if you have things that may be triggering. Respect people’s squicks/triggers. Walk away from what you don’t like.” Like, tumblr whump has a very specific culture of trying to balance discourse/stories about potentially very dark stuff, but also wanting to make sure the IRL people and Tumblr users are okay. There’s always posts going around about how to do this, are we doing this in the right way, ethics, so on. Also -- and people can correct me -- the whump tumblr space might be where tags are content warnings for people to stay away, and also what people might actively look for. So if any space is going to discuss if this promotional tweet checks out, I feel like it’s this space. 

Also, to note again, Tor Tweets are in the money-official-publisher-world, not unpaid-tumblr-people or unpaid-fanfiction-fandom-world.

Maybe I just want to ask, “Hey those first two tweet responses, does they have a point? Tor using ‘noncon’ as official promotion? On Twitter?” I mean, I’ve previously written, “The CW and TW tags that Ao3 writers use, I really wish those were used with published books as well.” But somehow, the Tor tweet was not quite what I was expecting. Maybe for reasons similar to that first tweet response. (I guess one could debate if a tweet is really promotion or just information... you know what someone can correct me, but I’m gonna say that a Tor.com tweet is promotion, compared to information like Ao3, and that tweet was there for promotion.)

Those tags operate within specific Ao3 and Tumblr cultures and infrastructure. I don’t hang around Twitter for whump stuff, IDK what the culture is. Anyway, does dropping these tags into a promotional tweet from Tor.... translate?

The tweet is evidently gathering the people who are there for it, and the people who aren’t there for it are quickly realizing that they are not there for it. But personally, the Tor website blurb does a better job at that, using writing that I’d expect from a publisher for communicating fictional non-con situations. (Maybe the blurb content warnings are what I wanted more of, when I said I wished for CW and TW in books.)

Anyway, there’s no huge drama about that Docile book promo on Twitter, as far as I can tell. So this is a niche thing, right now. But. The promo for Bonds of Brass and for Docile might be the beginnings of a trend of well-known book publishers borrowing from online writing / fandom culture and terminology in order to promote or categorize their books. These two promos might set a precedent or have other significance.

So if anyone has discourse on the tweets or potential future trends... 

[jamlally]

Reindeer Games

This was written for the 25 days of Christmas Challenge that is hosted by  @panicfob .  The Day 15 Challenge prompt was Reindeer

Warnings: Fluff

Pairing: Tony Stark x OFC (Belle Porter), Loki

Summary: It can’t be Christmas without a Reindeer

The darkly handsome man that strode across the room had SHIELD Agents scrambling, had Nick Fury pilling a side arm that she hadn’t seen, and had Tony absolutely furious

“You think that I came here for this ….” The way he looked around was somewhat disdainful “party of yours.  You think too highly of yourself Stark, on Asguard this party would be put to shame.  A mere Childs entertainment, nothing more”. 

“Well don’t let me the one to stop you leaving” Tony was tense in a way Belle hadn’t seen before and looking around the room, it seemed that everyone else was as well.  It was he thought, understandable as where ever this man went trouble seemed to follow in his footsteps

“Ah the man out of time and his one armed friend.  I’’m afraid that I have no desire to stand too close you just now”. 

In just seconds Belle watched as Steve and Bucky tried to approach fro behind Loki, only to have the god of mischief simply disappear - the slight breeze by her shoulder gave her a moments pause before she pivoted slowly on her heel

“But this morsel is far more to my taste.  You even dressed her in my colors, a gift perhaps?”

“Move away NOW!” Tony’s voice left no room for debate “FRIDAY initiate lockdown”

Things were starting to spiral out of control but Belle didn’t move, there was something about the way the Asguardian looked at her that reminded her of a snake looking for dinner. He sotted there looking all pretty and relaxed, one elbow on the bar, but his eyes were fixed on her in such a way that she had the feeling that one wrong move and he would strike. Squaring her shoulders she gave the man a small tense smile

“I’m afraid that any matching in our outfits tonight is simply a coincidence, but seeing as you are here can I get you a drink Mr Odinson?”

“It’s Laufeyson actually”

“Ah my apologies Mr Laufeyson.  So a drink?” Belle may not have met the man before but she had read all about him in the files they held.  The one thing she had been able to pull from the files was that he didn’t respond well to aggression 

“Hmm that may help pass the time, why don’t you choose something Miss…” He smiled showing slightly too many teeth 

“It’s Agent actually - Agent Porter” Belle looked over at the bar tender “Please get Mr Laufeyson a glass of the best Scotch we have”  She heard Tony scoff a little but didn’t turn around - her brain was very clear that you didn’t turn your back on the predator in the room 

“Oh how disappointing you’re an Agent.  I didn’t know that they came as pretty as you.  You really waste your time with these people.  Someone as pretty as you could happily wait on Kings in Asguards halls”

Belle let out a snort “I think that I will need to pass, as much fun as I am sure it is to wait on Kings I’d much rather spend my time telling Hero’s what to do”

Her response had Loki raising an eyebrow and she was fairy sure she heard Natasha snort.  

“Now” she slid the drink over that the bartender had pushed her way “As much as we appreciate the dramatic entrance care to share with the class why you’re here?”

Loki sipped at the drink before taking a larger swallow and gesturing for more “I need to speak with my brother, and for some god awful Eason that only he understands he will insist on coming here and socializing with you mortals”. The disdaining tone was back “He goes ff galavanting promising wonderful new things to celebrate the Yule but thus far he has shown us nothing! “

“You know we have phones you could just have called “ Tony snarked at the God as he wrapped his arm around Belle’s waist,  He wasn’t happy that she stood so close to the lunatic 

“We don’t have such a reliance on your frail human technology in our halls.  Thor should be with his people ensuring the we can have a fruitful spring, not galavanting around with all this sparkle.  I don’t even understand what the sparkle is, but it seems to get on everything “  his nose wrinkled and Belle gave a small giggle before resting her hand on Tony’s forearm

“The glitter can be a little frustrating but it does make things shine so beautifully and I think sometimes that we like it because in the dark of the winter, when everything is fallow we look for something to bring us light”

Loki snorted “There is much to be afraid of in the dark, but darkness comes no matter the season Agent Porter.  Tricking yourself into believing that the darkness isn’t there doesn’t keep bad things away” he was, she thought, sounding melancholy “You are all so far removed from how life was you forget that the cold is needed to allow the earth time to heal from all it gave over the rest of the year to sustain you, to fill your bellies and give fuel for your fires”

Belle watched as Loki peered into his glass lost in what ever thoughts he had.

“So you celebrate Yule on Asguard then?”

“What, oh yes, there are many grand parties and we give thanks for the good year we have had.  It os a very grand thing,  We celebrate the season of the land being fallow as it builds its energy.  Usually the King would lead the celebrations but he is” Loki gestured widely with is arms “No where to be found, and that is somewhat problematic”

“What’s the  matter, not man enough to manage without your brother” Fury was obviously pissed off but antagonizing a God seemed like a bad idea 

“Don’t show your lack of vision so readily Director” Loki’s tone was scathing “My brother took on the mantle of King and as such he has duties to perform.  I would more than happily taken on the role but it was not mine to have, that has been made more than clear. That is not actually of import.  The start of the Yule celebrations requires my brother to be there to symbolize the spark of life that comes after Yule when the land starts to come back to life.  He is the only one who can perform the task and yet he isn’t there and the people become restless”

“Forgive me Mr Laufeyson but why does Thor need to be there for that?  He is the god of Thunder…. Oh is it because the lightening is the spark?”

Loki laughed “Close but not quite.  Yes my brother is God of Thunder but that is not his only title - of course he doesn’t like to shout so much about the other one.  My dear brother is also a god of fertility and the strike he brings down brings with it the power for a bountiful year.”

Belle heard the snickers of the others and felt Tony smile his lips hidden against her neck

“Ah I understand.  It makes sense then that you would be brothers, two sides of the same coin”

“I am nothing like my brother Agent Porter”

“Maybe not identical but without the pair of you there wouldn’t be life.  You are the winters bite and he is the first flash of life”

The hairs on the back of her neck rose as Loki brought all of his attention to her.  His eyes were dark and calculating and it seemed that he was assessing her in a new light

“Release the woman Stark.  If I wanted to take her from you I would have done so already.  Agent Porter come and share a drink with me.  Stark see if you can find my brother” 

Belle turned and kissed Tony gently leaning in to speak softly in his ear “It’s fine Tony, I will stay here - you see if FRIDAY can track down Thor”

She moved to take the seat next to Loki “Can you please refill Mr Laufeyson’s glass and I’ll have a Peppermint White Russian, thank you” She turned to Loki “So tell me more about your Yule celebrations”

Loki flirted and laughed with Belle and Tony felt his frustration rise.  The Asguardian was a perennial pain in his ass and now here he was ruining his plans for the night.  

“Care to tell me what the hell is happening “ Fury glared through his one eye at Tony

“Well right now Im trying to track down a large muscled God so that he can take his pain in the ass younger brother home because it turns out the God of Thunder is also the god of babies, who knew, and to add to the joy he’s currently drinking my best scotch with my girl.  Merry fucking Christmas to me.  Now I am pretty sure you don’t know where Thor is, so why don’t you let me get on with my work while you make sure that your Agents don’t do something stupid that results in people getting hurt”

“Agent Porter isn’t cleared for dealing with threats of Loki’s level”

Tony rolled his eyes in annoyance “Yet here she is dealing with precisely that threat.  She deals with God’s, Super soldiers, Spy’s and  my ass on a daily basis.  Reindeer games doesn’t stand a chance now if we’re done …” Tony walked away “FRIDAY, have the Hawk keep an eye on Fury - I don’t want him causing issues “

Loki was actually a lot of fun to hang out with.  Belle made sure to keep the drink following for him, while nursing along her own.  The Asguardian was in the middle of telling her a story about  the time he had changed into a snake to scare his brother when another booming voice broke the tense peace.

“Brother! What brings you here?  Is all well at home?”

Loki rolled his eyes before leading closer to Belle “The man has never  been capable of entering a room without making a fuss”. 

Belle laughed, It was true you always knew when Thor was in a room 

“Things progress as planned, but our people grow nervous that their King is not present.  They fear that the Yule rights will not be completed”

“Ah brother they worry for no reason.  I have learnt many things while here.  I have skated on blades and have partaken in many of the festive activities.  My Lady Belle, I thank you for keeping my brother company” Thor reached out and lifted Belle’s hand to his mouth for a kiss

“Of course Thor is was my pleasure.  Mr Laufeyson, thank you for your company”. She nodded to the Gods as she stood. 

Loki rose to his feet, copying his brother and kissing the back of her hand “Agent Porter, it was a pleasure.  Perhaps we will talk again in the future”

“That seems unlikely Reindeer Games. Thor - if you could make sure your brother gets home safely.  Agent Porter and I have things to be getting with”. Tony took Belle’s hand and lead her away 

“Well that was an unexpected turn of events.  Tell me what did you spend nearly 2 hours talking to the God of mischief about?”

“I’d like to know the answer to that too” Fury broke in heading over to the couple 

“We spoke about the traditions on Asguard and Loki told me stories from when he and Thor grew up.  It was actually very entertaining, you know I think he was lonely”

“Lonely?” Fury scoffed at the idea

“Yes lonely.  He feels out of place and when his brother isn’t there I think as much as they don’t get on he misses him.  If he meant to cause trouble then he could have done so without any problem.  He didn’t through - he just wanted to talk and spend time with someone”

Tony looked back at the brothers who both seemed pleased to be with each other.  Maybe Belle was right.  He knew that at his lowest people would have called him an asshole and he would have deserved it, was Loki in the same boat.

“Well I suppose it wouldn’t be Christmas without reindeer, now you and I have a plan to enact my lady and I think you’ve had your drink so now we can move onto other things”

Belle laughed, head thrown back as Tony pulled her from the room.

[stevecoleridge-posts]

Day 6 ..Friday          Struggling .. which is why i did nt see the news or spend time on Social Media yesterday..          I thought it would be a breeze and after a little concentration id have it down .. but no , even the first part…known as lumpedy lump was proving tough , because of the triplet  walk up from the V to the 1.. and i think thats the part Jimmy Reed himself is playing…   If you ve read previous episodes you will know i refer to Honest I Do….the song.   Im learning it on a You Tube lesson , now a lot of people who think of themselves as pros , seem to think there s some sort  of stigma ro learning stuff on You Tube, but i know a French guy , of Spanish descent , who is a really hot Flamenco guitarist who has mastered nearly all the Palos , and all on You Tube  They are right, if you dedicate yourself to different songs at the same time, but it s like working form home…you need time and discipline ..and take the lessons very slowly and don’t move on till you can play it 20 times with your eyes shut..preferably standing up .. then move on up. Yesterday  was the first time i managed to do this.   There is a different tone on Social media today .. angrier , more prone to blame others, more censorious…and on one group forum i saw they were going to ban Humour..well , i don’t personally know the Group leader.. but it does nt take much imagination to know she s not someone you d want to be quarantined with.    The only thing to fear is fear itself.. well i certainly don’t think that applies in this situation, quite the reverse, the more frightened we are the less we will venture forth on errands that are not strictly necessary..i was on my way out the door , literally, when my mobile rang…it was the charming woman from the bank.. she d got my message .. id gone way over my limit.. which was why i could nt withdraw funds…She , and i won’t name her, is working from Home and sorted it all out on her laptop..no need for me to go to town..      Is nt that great?..well , I thought it was..and a good thing too,as she has not been provided with any masks..and we are talking about a Bank..if they cant get basic stuff like that no wonder the Government  are nt testing people .. they don’t have the wherewithal…it is nt as though this has nt been on the News everyday since December the something.    .I remember listening to Radio Four as i was driving through Slough, in December,… don’t ask … the M4 was closed..and i was listening to a woman in Wuhan describing how her parents were dying in the Street.. that really got my attention.   It did nt seem to get the attention of the people in charge here however, as when the inevitable arrived nearly three months later , they had done nothing to prepare for it.   The Spanish Disease is politics, it creeps into every corner of life and spreads its poison , a bit like you know what,..and in the past when people got fed up with their venal politicians there was a Military Coup , and then they realised maybe life was better before with democracy … and the cycle starts again. This model has been exported successfully to Latin America.. with the possible  exception of Mexico. and Costa Rica   Its all very well for us stodgy Northerners with our bad weather , to criticise, but Sun affects people,and when things are good they seem so much better  in the Sunshine..but something about Sunny weather produces Volatility, and an @ i won’t fix the roof as its not raining @ World View… and Italys  colossal death rate is the price to be paid .. not that it is nt sunny in China..or South Korea..but they do a lot more than just fix the roof..and to put  it down to Confucianism .. well  maybe best not to start on that.   Australia will be interesting, they have lots of sun , but its a pretty organised place ..and i don’t see them making this sort of Balls up.. also they have the experience of natural disasters,,and pulling together, and will not let Politics interfere…any country that had leaders with  names  like Abbott and Costello doesn’t waste too energy on petty politics.  The Current Classic example of petty minded, spiteful, pointless,  negative ,oppurtunism , is the  attempt on social media and what sup groups to denigrate the Royal Family organising people to rattle saucepans at a given time, because apparently the current King s father had a rather large amount of money in a Swiss Account..well, it was Saudi Money , not money stolen from the Spanish taxpayer, unlike the billions stolen by the previous administration , the PP .The idea for this stupidity was inspired by the Custom of applauding the Medical profession every night at eight o clock.. an excellent morale boosting , bringing everyone together kind of gesture..well everything has its opposite and this is an excellent way to breed more discontent and fracture an all ready pretty fractured society.. it beggars belief and you really have to have lived here to see these Barca Madrid  idiocies at first hand.   Barca Madrid is a term used to describe the divide and conquer ,us and them , attitudes that have stopped Spains progress since the collapse of their Empire, culminating in the most vicious Civil War in recent European History, and one would have hoped  that after 40 plus years of Democracy it would have disappeared , but sadly, like in the USA and a lot of other democracies , it seems to be on the increase.The anger on Social Media which results from the claustrophobic frustration of a lockdown will hopefully not boil over into something with unpleasant political consequences, which would be very sad , as after Francos death and the adoption of constitution that is the envy of many countries, Spain was a beacon of hope in the last quarter of the 20 th century… how the mighty are fallen .. one hopes not.. SPANISH LOCKDOWN DAY  7   Slept really well , but then  I remember reading that people on Death row sleep 16 hours a day so possibly not a good sign.   Last Night i watched the Spanish news ,on the main channel and things are looking up , relatively speaking, in the sense that testing has arrived ..someone, or some country, has sent several thousand, or may be half a million test kits.. which is obviously excellent news , and testing in  Galicia is going full steam ahead. There was the obligatory item about a vaccine..which I think one can take with a pinch of salt. .Military erecting field hospitals next to various main hospitals…the eight o clock applause of medical staff…all in all well put together not too desperately pessimistic, and generally not as disheartening as Facebook.. afterwards i felt like some light relief so we watched eleven episodes of 2 and half men,  in Spanish ,to cheer ourselves up before going to bed.   ..   Today i decided to live a normal day .. if such a thing were possible , so , after taking Tina for a walk i got the Old TV and DVD working and put on Marty Schwarz s Intermediate Blues Guitar Course part one…and it started raining .. so that was encouraging as it took away any temptation to venture outside.. except for firewood that is.   I worked through the course without rushing , but also without too much pausing , as i d done those lessons before, and all that repetition of Honest I do  is paying off..   On going outside for firewood i could not ignore the noise of the generator that kicked in yesterday evening, as we ve had not Sun for several days, so i decided to fill it up with diesel, and see how much 15 hours constant running had used,only half the 20 litre can to fill  up the tank…but was it full to begin with?..anyway it s very rare to have 4 days without sun , so even if it did use  13 euros of diesel  Im not going to freak out as that was expensive diesel.. and I’m entitled to use the cheaper stuff .Of cause i spilled Diesel over my hands , and shoes , and when i spent a good 5 minutes trying to wash the smell out i realised this was the ultimate anti virus test.. so i will leave a bowl of Diesel outside every time i go to town and use that as first part of the disinfection process , yet another excuse not to go to town.    My neighbour M.  rang and suggested i look at his scheme on Facebook to institute Food Deliveries , so one does nt have to go to the Supermarket in person  and infect and be infected… a good idea of course , but like so many , i don’t see it happening…I pointed out several objections , lack of drivers, expense, one would need a sort of Uber program which will probably not be ready for a year .. etc..and the Supermarkets are making so much money i doubt they need this sort of input.I promised to look at it later , which I will , as Lunch was ready.   We ve run out of  Bread ,Oranges and Chocolate, Aurora has broken a nail and the nail bars are closed till further notice…but otherwise  we can probably get through till Monday without suffering too much ..on the other hand Monday is probably the worst day to go shopping..Im toying with the idea of going to the small Supermarket, at 8 am Sunday morning, and hopefully having it to myself , as i cant face the idea of a queue. I know English people are supposed to love queueing but i must be an exception, and queuing nowadays is a High Risk Activity.    The Sun is out and i did one of the jobs from a month old to do list… pumping the water out the flooded pump room , it all went very well , and i felt  very worthy , and now , with the Sunshine it s time for a walk , with Tina , of course.   I return , feeling optimistic .. and the phone rings, i assume it s my neighbour asking if I’ve read his article.it isn’t , it s C another near neighbour, with some very bad news .  The police are in Quarantine…and the Army will soon be here. No Tobacco..as they will close the Tobacconist.  A completely different ball game  I rang M, and gave him the news…I f he d had  a kalashnikov  he d have been checking the magazine  I rang another neighbour  F, whose office is next to the Police Station , to warn him. .When the Rumour , comes to your Town , It Grows and Grows, Where it Started No-one Knows…*Robbie Robertson   I rang my source in the Town Hall G…no , it s only one cop , and he has nt got the results yet..   I rang M  again…he had spoken to his friend who is a Guardia Civil .no , it was nt a Cop it was a Guardia Civil..he also told me the Cuban woman who cleans houses had been stopped, by the Police and they checked the receipt for her shopping    I rang the first neighbour and corrected the original story        I opened Facebook .. and there was the original story , which had started a firestorm of comments along the likes of whats your source? etc as though we were in the Watergate hearings, not only that,  the people reading the story imagined it referred to Mojacar , not Carboneras , and were all frantically ringing the Police Staion , The Town Hall and each other to see if it were true.    The tones of the respective comments went from shrill outrage that anyone should suggest such a story without due documentation , to fear , to I knew this would happen, all these irresponsible idiots .. blah blah   It began to increasingly resemble an episode of Dads Army with a false alarm about a German Landing.., which Facebook does anyway    There is the Captain Mainwaring..@While i was out today making sure everyone was behaving themselves i saw these irresponsible panic shoppers,  and these people walking around without a good reason @     The Fraser .. We Re Doomed     The Air raid Warden…Its all the fault of the Ruling Class, and rules are rules etc     Jones ..Dont Panic... in a tone of complete hysteria    Pikes mother…Be sure to wear your gloves , motorcycle helmet , hazchem suit, mask..galoshes, .Do you have your hand sanitiser , all clothes must be burnt on reentry etc     By this time Auroras original alarm had been replaced by hilarity, as she was sitting by the fire hearing one side of these conversations..     I went out for some more wood and we relaxed by watching a Documentary about the Boeing 737 MAX..complete with simulation in the Pilots cockpit    The best part was the CEO of Boeing trying to justify his 30 million Dollar salary at a Congressional hearing..…i wondered what the Shareholders thought about that , i know what the victims families thought , as they were being interviewed and did nt sound too impressed

[averygim]

hello all. you can call me cal or jeepers, which is my discord name and i think is funny tbh, but i mostly go by cal. my pronouns are they/them and ‘m in the est timezone. i’m a bit late to the game but i’m still v excited to introduce my child avery to ya’ll. below is a whole mass of text that’ll help you get to know this mess of a child. uwu it’s easiest to reach me on discord at jeepers creepers #5103, but i also try and respond as quick as i can to tumblr ims so it’s really whatever you prefer !!

basics

name: avery gim job: baker at peau d’amour age: twenty-five gender: cismale pronouns: he/him sexuality: grey-asexual / panromantic birthday: february 6th zodiac: aquarius personality type:  advocate | infj pinterest board: HERE

aesthetic

the haunting sound of a piano in a memory you can’t quite reach

a warm summer night spent watching fireflies dance among the trees

a bite of a fresh peach that leaves your mouth sticky and sweet

theme song: the 7th sense by nct u

hatred that will not go away and dreams that torture me the clock laughs at me, it does not give a single error i’m a mess, I don’t even know myself, my future is colored darkly i’m struggling, coloring this night even blacker in the irregularity that’s hard to understand there’s a story that’s deeply hidden eyes are being opened through this song your dreams are being read it’s being awakened from a deep sleep my seventh sense

positive & negative

affable ( adj ) : friendly, good-natured, or easy to talk to.

languid ( adj ) : (of a person, manner, or gesture) displaying or having a disinclination for physical exertion or effort; slow and relaxed.

versatile ( adj ) : able to adapt or be adapted to many different functions or activities.

candid ( adj ) :  truthful and straightforward; frank.

then

it begins when he’s four years old - this obsession in him. his parents couldn’t have expected that sending their son to piano lessons we enact such a wild passion in their small, quiet boy. it was hard to pick out at first. often, they would pick their child up from his lesson to find his small chubby cheeks stained with tears. his parents assumed he was simply being stubborn about learning the instrument. they would see the kids dragged to the lessons bemoaning their distaste to it to their parents and would tell each other “our boy is simply quiet with his dislike for it. he has never been a talker.” and  would keep taking him week after week. the piano teacher couldn’t enlighten them to what was going through their child’s mind in terms of why he seemed to work himself up into such a state. she explained to them that he seemed attentive whenever she would teach him and it was only until he started to practice on his own that the tears would begin. neither parties could get a word out of the child though he often seemed to calm fairly quickly post lesson, spending the car ride home pressing his small fingers into his thighs as though there was an invisible piano etched into his skin. at one point, his parents seemed to give in a bit to their uncertainty of how their child was doing, offering to take him out of the lessons. the aggressive shake of the four years old’s head and high squeaky voice insisting “ no, no !! “ was quite the surprise. it wasn’t until a year later, when he began to find his voice that he admitted to his piano teacher that he just loved piano so much, he couldn’t stop himself from crying whenever he got to play. the teacher passed this along to the parents with much amusement and relief.

the passion the young boy had for the instrument didn’t falter over the years, even as his peers turned to other extracurriculars and sports rather than the piano. his parents opted to get him a keyboard to set up in his room on his seventh birthday, still wary about how long he would remain content with the lessons. they had never enjoyed the instrument with such conviction when they were forced to take lessons growing up. it was, at least, comforting to know that their quiet child still enjoyed spending time doing kid things, such as playing outside, playing pretend and colouring. he even showed an interest in baking, which he often did with his grandmother, much to the disbelief of his father. still, he was a good child and despite the wariness his father had of allowing him to indulge in his more feminine hobbies ( he was very much stuck in the throws of toxic masculinity ), his mother and grandparents supported him fully in whatever he wanted to do. so during the week, he would go to his piano lessons and play with the neighbourhood kids outside. then, on the weekends, he would spend time with his mother’s parents, often baking some sort of treat with his grandmother and listening to his grandfather tell tall tales of his own childhood.

as he got older, his skill in piano progressed more and more. between his lessons and the studious way he practiced, he ended up participating in a variation of different concerts. by the time he reached his early teens, he was playing with the adult orchestra with nine years of lessons and experience under his belt. it was an astounding thing- to hear him play. it was as if this lazy, beautiful human was gifted with talent from the gods, but he wasn’t. he worked for his ability. countless hours pressing fingers into plastic keys. perhaps that is why, for his sixteenth birthday, his grandparents and parents pulled together the money to buy him a grand piano. it was then, upon walking into the home to find the piano gracing the room that used to be the den of their house, that he discovered he hadn’t quite outgrown his habit of crying when overwhelmed with emotion.

between creating compositions, practicing, baking with his grandma, and the hell that was high school, he didn’t have much time for anything else. he didn’t mind. he was content with his work, both with the piano and at school. he had a tendency to overwork himself within the confines of his piano room and bedroom between the two. this led to him developing a bad reputation of being a lazy and privileged individual who got away with sleeping in class. his peers saw him as someone favoured by teachers, when in truth it was simply because he’d had multiple discussions previously with them about being awake in class. many of them had agreed to let it slide so long as his grades were maintained. it was a necessary thing to seek as if his parents found out they would no doubt put restrictions on how he was working. 

despite the peer isolation, which later led to a fair amount of social awkwardness on his part, he seemed to get along great with those he went up against in competitions. perhaps it was their shared love or enjoyment of the instrument. regardless, he created a group of friends outside of the school scene and, despite many of them being older than him, he was respected and treated much better than others his age treated him. 

the summer post high school graduation saw him doing something no one could have predicted ( aside from his grandfather who swears up and down that he saw this coming since he was seven years old ). he set out on a tour of major cities, performing alone on a stage with simply a piano, a mask, and a single spotlight. see, in the latter years of his teens, he really blew up thanks to the internet. he became known under a moniker the he’d used on his youtube channel, which he would post videos of his personal compositions and covers of songs on. it led to some artists and producers reaching out collaborate, which, in turn, increased his popularity.

( car accident tw ) life was good for five years. he got to do what he loved and loved what he did. of course, all good things must come to an end, even if that good thing felt like it is your entire life. at twenty three, the now grown quiet boy got into a car accident. a drunk driver hit the car his mother was driving with him in the passenger seat. his mother survived with a few bruised ribs and a broken arm while he came out of it with severe head trauma. head trauma that, out of all things, resulted in hearing loss. the cochlea and hearing nerves in his inner ears were damaged to the point that it sounded like a hush fell over the world. it was a difficult reality to swallow. 

( depression tw ) it was a loss like no other. he could no longer hear his piano. he could no longer get lost in the world his music created. depression hit him heavy and hard, dragging him under in a suffocating hold. seventeen years. he’d been playing piano for seventeen years and now that ability was severely disabled. he withdrew, cutting ties with almost all of his friends who were apart of the music world. his parents didn’t know what to do with their quiet child who seemed to become deathly silent after the accident. the whole family had signed up in solidarity to learn asl alongside him. the only ones who seemed to muster out any sort of reactions or responses from him were his grandparents who struggled to learn the new way of communicating. he tried hearing aids in addition, however, the damaged required a more intensive solution. cochlear implants. he refused despite the struggle he still faced with the hearing aids. his family tried to get him to go through with the surgery, however he was an adult and it was his decision to make. so he continued to allow himself to waste away in the distorted world around him. his father responded to his state with anger, while his mother grieved and worried over him from afar. his grandparents were around as much as they could be, reaching out with patient hands. it would take two years for him to reach back.

twenty-four and feeling stuck, exhausted, and just down right sick, the quiet boy finally inched out of the shell the accident had left him in. it starts with therapy, then medication, and ends with stepping into the kitchen with his grandmother again. his piano remained untouched, gathering dust in his home behind a locked door. no one brought it up, not yet, and instead slow steps were eventually taken. he spoke for the first time post asl and hearing aids to his mother. his voice raspy and barely there from disuse. he couldn’t hear himself, but his mother had burst into tears as his grandparents smiled at each other with watery eyes. it was progress. slow progress, but they were glad that he was finally taking steps forward. 

it was five months after his twenty-fourth birthday that he decided to undergo the cochlear implant surgery. he held no hope for what he’d be able to do with the upgrade. he didn’t allow himself to think of the abandoned piano or the possibility of getting back into music. no, instead, he simply kept his eyes forward as though the past no longer existed. instead, he spent his time baking with his grandmother, helping with the small business she’d started when he was in middle school. the surgery was a success, but the quiet man did not cry when he was finally able to hear with more clarity. there were no tears of overwhelming happiness, instead he’d simply smiled at his mother when she asked if he could hear her and said yes.

it took him six months to decide he needed to move. despite his family still living in the area he grew up in, he needed to get away. he wanted out of the city and eventually settled on moving to beauhart, a place suggested by one of the few friends he kept in touch with post-accident. the official transition happened three months ago where he moved out of the apartment he bought for himself at twenty and into his own home. it was a bit large for just himself and his mother worried that he would fall back into bad habits, but he loved the old styled place. it had a front porch and was painted a gentle yellow. the front was filled with a garden of flowers and bushes that wrapped around to the fence that encased the backyard. his father hated it, but his grandparents had approved when they first saw it, having travelled with his mother to help with the unpacking once everything had arrived. it held more warmth than his apartment had. perhaps it was because he was going to be living in it full time or the character / personality the house itself had. regardless, he felt settled for the first time in almost two years. no one mentioned the grand piano that had been placed in the third bedroom of the house.

three months post move found him working at the local bakery. the early mornings were tough, but the consistency was enjoyable for him. it helped, significantly, with his mental health. he promised his mother to call at least twice a week and his grandmother almost every other day to gossip. despite his awkwardness with social cues and languid nature, he managed to make connections with other residents. things seemed to be looking up, though there still remained that empty part of him and a door unopened.

extras

he is, for all intents and purposes, socially an idiot. he can’t pick up verbal cues up very well and often chooses to ignore them even if they are glaringly obvious. some kind find this incredibly annoying or be endeared by it. usually it’s the former, though avery has never minded. he has no desire to be liked by everyone and is more than happy to continue going by the beat of his own drum.

definitely often produces the wrong first impressions, especially with his looks. he takes care of himself, has been instilled with the habit, especially after how rough his twenty-third and fourth year was. so it’s not often he goes out looking like the drowned rat he enjoys being at home. it’s part of his routine that has helped him stay on track mentally.

definitely a momma’s boy, but would literally do anything for his grandparents. he is planning on having them visiting him as soon as he manages to get his guest room furnished and decorated. 

 if he wants to avoid something, he ignores it. it’s a terrible coping habit that manifests in small instances and larger situations. it’s very childish in many ways, but his therapist has yet to be able to break him out of it. 

is looking into adopting an animal, but is torn between what sort of animal. he has been looking at the humane society, but has yet been able to decide.

he is very indecisive about the smallest of things, but somehow manages to be able to make the bigger and more important decisions ??? 

has a very weird and varied taste in music.

 learned korean from his grandparents when he was younger but primarily speaks english or asl. 

often moves around his house without his hearing aids and keeps things quiet. a book nerd post accident. his favourite thing to do is spend the day on his porch swing reading.

he has been thinking of taking online business courses to learn more about running/owning his own business. he hasn’t mentioned it to anyone, not is planning to, but when he thinks about the future he’s wondering if owning his own bakery could be a possible option.

honestly a sleepy boy even though he has a perfectly reasonable sleep schedule ???

doesn’t know how to flirt. doesn’t even know how to hold a conversation with someone he has a crush on. is very awkward with them.

likes to try and make wacky things (baking wise) when bored then try and make you try it without any forewarning. 

is actually pretty good at making elaborate cakes and frosting designs. does cake commissions on the side for birthdays, in fact.

gets lost really easily. its been three months and he still sometimes forgets where to turn when driving home.

will steal your pet if you leave him alone with them ( not literally ).

is terrible at texting and is the type of person to call you to have a conversation. this is mostly because he’s too lazy to text.

enjoys memes and quotes them sarcastically, sometimes when it’s definitely not appropriate.

has a habit of staring without meaning too. this could either be off into space or actually at someone. he doesn’t necessarily mean to do it. at times it’s a case of dissociation and others it’s simply him having no common sense and/or is blatant day dreaming.

will not ride as a passenger in a car. he’s been able to drive again post implants but the trauma of the accident has caused him a real fear of being someone else’s passenger. 

sometimes, without him realizing it, he’ll mime playing the piano. the habit of pressing his fingers into invisible keys too engrained to erase. he attempts to avoid music a lot, especially classical. it’s somewhat impossible to do at work and outside of his home. at times, he gives in to his desire to try and hear it the way he used to and will blast the music until he can feel the base thrumming in his veins. it’s as detoxing as it is frustrating. as much as he can hear, it will never be like it used to be for him.

if you read all of this i applaud you. tell me your favourite colour, animal, and/or food and then we can plot C:<

[ryncorrect]

university!au: day6 jae

following my uni!au with young k (idk how to link my own post asbajdnskmd im Dumb) so here another one with jae lol i think im gonna make one for each one of them buttttttt no promise bc my brain works in a very mysterious way LOL

anyway leggo

warning: this is lame lmaooooo

name: park jaehyung / jae

major: politic science

other activities: guitarist (and sometimes vocalist) of university band, member of music club, founder and leader of LOL SQUAD

everyone knows that tall skinny guitarist of the band i mean he’s hard to ignore tbh

he always wears loose T-shirt, ripped jeans, a cap that he puts backward, and round big specs to campus

professors hate his ripped jeans but can’t really say anything because oh well style doesn’t define someone’s grades and boy, does this kid actually get some braincells in him

well i mean at least he never fails his classes

he has this giant LOLSQUAD badge on his backpack because he’s proud af of his title as the club founder and leader

he actually started that club so he could to brag about his gaming skill to everyone who wanted to listen but he ends up getting his ass handed to him every single time they play together smh

if he’s not in class or hanging out with his game buddies, he can be seen following that Popular Student™ kang younghyun or as jae prefers to call him, “brian” or “brIBRI” because they both joined music club and are in the band

yes yes he’s well known and easy to spot

but…

“jae? park jaehyung?? who???”

everyone refers to him as “that foreigner student”, “the American guy” or “the gamer guy”, or my favorite: “chicken little”

i will never let that joke die im sorry but seriously he looks like chicken when he plays his guitar on the stage don’t @ me

there are only like 5 students in the whole university who know his actual name

anyways in this scenario you’ve always been interested in playing guitar but haven’t gotten a chance to learn and your friend kim wonpil invites you to join music club so you’ll have friends to practice with

“you know our jaehyungie, right? he’s really chill, you’ll get along well with him!!”

deep inside you’re like

who the heck is jaehyung

but wonpil is so excited to have you there so the next week you come to the club meeting

you introduce yourself to everyone and finally you meet him

“ohmygod the chicken little!!”

“whO THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING THAT”

“sorry- i mean the chicken guitarist- wait no-”

he glares at you, you laugh instead

scaring the new member challenge: failed

but yeah you’d seen him performing before and honestly you almost decided to become his fan

a l m o s t

at first he (jokingly) refuses to teach you guitar because you called him chicken little

and since then you keep calling him that just to mess with him

“hi chicken little”

“what’s poppin chicken little”

“why do you look so flustered, chicken little? do i make you nervous??”

he turns red chicken little is now an angry bird “gO AWAY NEWBIE YOU’RE SO ANNOYING”

jae’s a foreigner but he speaks fluent korean

he tells you that even though he was born and grew up in america he always speaks the language with his parents

but of course since he lives abroad there are lots of words or slang he doesn’t know, so you gotta be an ass and slip some difficult words when you speak to him

he gets his revenge by replying to you in english

whenever you two are having an argument (usually over stupid things) everyone in the club suddenly gets headache

wtf they’re not even making any sense

besides music, jae is the most excited when talking about LOL or social topics because well his major

honestly idk much about politic science so cmiimw

one time someone asks for his opinion about social welfare and he ends up starting a sudden debate session with the said person about social welfare programs in south korea and america and the difference between both countries

you mention human rights and he sNAPS

i mean he gives a full 15 mins speech about it

“yknow what im sayin?”

“dude… i honestly don’t get it at all”

because he be speaking in full english like wat

he’s just so passionate about everything it’s almost adorable

a l m o s t

and it’s not only his passion but also his small eyes, his laugh, his voice, or the way he occasionally lifts his head to look at you while playing guitar and you smile and he smiles because you smile first shnshsbshs soft

even the corners of his lips are so cute wow

oh fuck im emo i love him

but you adore him just as a good friend

he’s always been bubbly and friendly with everyone, not just you, so yeah it’s really easy to fall for him but you assure yourself that you’re nOT

are we having “in denial” shit again omg im so uncreative

anyway fast forward it’s ur birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY

you decide to throw a small party at your place and invite 5 or 6 of your closest friends but damn on the d-day it rains so hard

if ur bday falls on winter then change it to snowing hard, if it’s spring then maybe there’s strong wind or something, whatever suits you fam lol

so no one comes to your party lol you are Sad

BUT THEN!!!! JAE SHOWS UP!!!!!

PARK JAEHYUNG

OUT OF ALL PEOPLE

no you didn’t invite him because idk

are we really that close??? ehhhh he probably won’t come anyway haha why bother

BUT!!!! HE SHOWS UP!!! IN FRONT OF YOUR DOOR!!!

he’s carrying an umbrella but it didn’t really help apparently because he’s soaking wet

imagine that view i mean nvm

“i happened to be near here and i remember it’s your birthday today so i think i’m gonna drop by to say hi and suddenly it’s raining too hard on the way but anyway happy birthday can you let me in first i’m cold”

ofc you let jae in i mean we can’t let the chicken catch the flu amirite

but you warn him that he’ll have to leave before 11 or your RA will kick you both out the dorm lol

after a towel, two cups of hot tea, and one shared piece of chocolate cake, you told him you were supposed to have a small party tonight but no one could make it because of the rain and he’s like “hOW DARE YOU HAVING A PARTY BUT NOT INVITING ME I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL” and you’re just like “lol shut up chicken here eat more cake”

anyways you two spend time joking and talking about random stuff and it’s probably not the best birthday ever but at least you don’t have to spend it alone and to be honest you’re happy that he’s here

then jae pulls out his ultimate weapon

i mean his guitar

he was soaking wet but the guitar is clean and dry and all fine like hoW EVEN

“priorities” -park jaehyung

he said he gonna play a song of your choice because he came empty handed and he feels bad about it

you blush and pick whatever song comes to your mind because you can’t really think of any, and he starts strumming his guitar and sings

and while he keeps looking at you, you find yourself too can’t take your eyes off him

the song ends and you’re about to clap your hands when he suddenly starts another one

wait you’ve never heard this song before

it’s a slow song and the lyrics are all like, the sky turns dark on the birthday of the brightest star so that it’ll be the only light in his world, how he feels regretful that he has nothing to give but his small heart, and he hopes that this lovely person will hold his hand as they listen to this song together, that this lovely person will feel warm beside him

guys just imagine the song okay i can’t Romance

it’s dead silent until you whisper, “is that… a song for me?”

jae’s face turns red and he starts panicking™ like “i made up the lyrics just now okay i know it’s fricking sappy and cheesy as hell okay i just uhhh want to cheer you up!!!! because you seem kinda down!!!!! let’s not talk about this again uGh WhatEvER leT Me LIvE!!!!!”

but you chuckle and thank him, it was the best present you can get from anyone

you two stare at each other for a second that feels like years and he finally breaks the silence, “you know,,, maybe i came here on purpose,,, maybe actually i want to see you,,,”

“and why is it?”

“because i think,,, i miss you,,, kinda”

and you don’t say this out loud but maybe you do know that

even if you say you’ll never

in fact you’ve already fallen for him a bit

or perhaps a lot

like a lot

then he leans in to kiss your lips and you kiss back and it’s almost not awkward at all, it just feels right as if you’ve kissed him million times before

a l m o s t

you two still blush real hard after

but yeah that’s how you two start dating

none of you two tell anyone about it but it’s pretty obvious, i mean jae always picks you up at your dorm, he walks with you to your class or vice versa (if your classes don’t overlap tho), you two keep stealing glances at each others, also—

jae with you: “hey,,,, come here sit with me u3u,,,,, did you have lunch??? oh i wrote a song last night check this out,,,, what are you gonna do this saturday? oml you’re so cute”

jae with everyone else: “HAHAHAHA FUCKING FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PRICK ALSO BRIAN FUCKING KANG IF YOU STEAL MY FUCKING FRIES AGAIN I WILL LITERALLY SNAP YOUR FUCKING NECK”

welp actually he’s not always sweet with you, sometimes you two still argue about silly things using mixed languages but now everyone in the club knows better to just run away once it begins

because it’ll end up with you two fighting or you two kissing

yes im nasty and a disappointment bye

btw wonpil is excited af it’s almost like he’s dating you both

“it’s really nice seeing you two finally together!!!!!!! especially because jaehyung really couldn’t shut up about you ever since the first day you joined our music club”

“wait wha-”

“YOU SNAKE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET FUCK OFF”

I’m so in love with park jaehyung y'all hsnshsbsh aNYWAYS!!! 100 blocks limit has lifted from tumblr app AYEEEEE

[nottooldforthisship]

I didn’t make a fic rec of the week post since last October, shame on me. So you’ll have a bunch of fics not that new (sorry, I’m catching up with my bookmarks).

- Don't Want Shelter , by @fullonlarrie : Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other.

Ex-friends  to lovers AU (76k, E), because I love love love it and because Harry Louis being older than me and because Silver fox Louis, and because READ IT FFS.

- Turning Page , by @daisyharry : AU: Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been.  Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other. 

Famous-not famous with a twist AU (67k, E) because it’s one of my fav fic of 2017.

- Dust to Dust , by @catfishau : Harry, an active participant in the One Direction Tumblr fandom, comes across a rumour that Louis died and has been replaced with a lookalike. 

Famous-not Famous  (23k, M) because Im a sucker for Tumblr AU  and fandoms theories :D

- In All Its Imperfections , by @briannamarguerite : From: Louis Tomlinson To: Undisclosed Recipients : Hello! I’ve asked the front desk and you lovely folks are the ones who are on the same level as me in the car park. I found a to-do list today that looked somewhat important because it has lines of poetry scribbled at the bottom that seemed like they might be for a card project. The stationary has a moose in a canoe at the top of it (and he is quite adorable). Let me know if it’s yours!Cheers!“Oh. My. Fucking. God,” Harry whispered, his eyes darting over the sentences again willing them not to make sense. They did, they did make sense. “Oh. My. Bloody. Fucking. God.”The next thing he knew he was on the floor, staring at the ceiling, with a very concerned Liam hovering over his head."What happened, mate?" Liam asked.Harry just pointed to his computer.Liam bent over Harry’s desk to read the email. “What? This isn’t bad. Is that your to-do list? Did you finally come up with the inside text for those cards?”“Leeyum" he groaned. “It’s what’s on the list.”“Oh,” Liam paused for a beat. “Is it dirty stuff?”Harry nodded.There was more silence. And then, “Dirty stuff with Louis?”

Co-workers AU (15k, E) because Punk Louis and pining Harry and it’s hot.

- It's a Better Place (Since You Came Along) , by @phd-mama : When Harry Styles, a mid-level talent, Finder, and small business owner, sets off on the vacation of a lifetime with his best friend, Niall Horan, he has no idea the changes his life will undergo over the next nine days. He's got it all planned - there's going to be shore excursions, lounging by the pool on the deck of the luxurious cruise ship, not to mention margaritas. What he does not plan for are the new friends, new bonds, or the mystery from his past that comes back to haunt him, and he certainly hasn't planned for Louis.

Magical AU (51k, E) because Soulmates AND cruise ship in a same fic, what else?

- One-Two-Three What Are We Fighting For  , by @taggiecb : “Do you know why these people are protesting this man’s funeral?” Louis continues, letting his frustration out on this motionless creature in front of him. “Because of who he loved. But I am the bad guy because I am trying to protect those people in there from these people out here. I am the bad guy because I am standing in leather pants and drive a motorbike, and those pricks are ‘Christians’.” He raises his fingers to quote. The sudden motion makes the man flinch, just slightly. No one would notice if they weren’t staring so intently as Louis is now. Louis notices though, and he takes some sort of satisfaction that he got even a slight rise from the man. “We aren’t the bad guys here. And yet who would you be arresting if something went down right now? You know the answer to that don’t you? Just moving my hand made you flinch. Those idiots are jumping around behind you, waving signs and God knows what else, and you aren’t so concerned with them. But one move of my hand, and you were ready to pull a weapon on me. Don’t deny it.”*

Hate to love (25k, E) because social worker AND biker Louis is my new kink and also awesome LGBT+ themes.

- We'll Never Be Lonely in the Dark  , by @becomeawendybird : Detective Louis Tomlinson keeps getting blocked when he tries to use his psychic gift to locate a missing child. One late night he manages to get through but instead of finding who he's looking for he lands in the bedroom of a mysterious man.Harry Styles, nursing student, baker, and all around exhausted medium, thinks he's having the best sex dream he's ever had when his fantasy man shows up in his subconscious. But is that really what's going on?

Detective/Psychic AU (7k, E) because awesome plot and also hot hot hot.

- No One Like You , by @myownsparknow : Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.

Historical AU (19k, M) because this is the most beautiful thing ever and so well written OMG the FEEELS.

[inky-anemone]

RULES

BASIC: >This is a Semi-Selective and Mutuals only/Private RP blog. I will answer any followers ask but I will only carry threads with those I follow; I will however actively reach out to people who don’t yet follow me if I am interested in writing with them. If you would like to have a thread with me and I don’t follow you, just leave me an ask or send me an IM. I am not that scary. **In regards to my side blogs this rule applies. If I follow you on my main blog and you follow one or more of my listed side blogs then interactions are a go** >I am a very anxious and socially awkward person. I can take a little long to trust people sometimes due to past experiences over the years, and I am nervous at first in getting involved with larger groups. This is nothing against new people who approach me to add me to a group; this is just me being once bitten twice shy about everything. Please understand this. >Please read my About page so you understand the Mun here behind the blog. I appreciate people understanding a bit of how I work. >OOC statements from me will be within [[ ]] ’s. >My instant messenger (IM) chats are completely OOC. I will not RP in the IM chats. I prefer to use it as a source of communication mun to mun while doing a thread with someone.

>I WILL NOT by any means RP with a blog whose MUSE is a REAL PERSON. [ex. Arin (Egoraptor), Jon (Jontron), Mark (Markiplier), etc.] I just personally find it to be in the realm of bad taste. I mean no offense to anyone with this. It’s just that pretending to be a real person you are not as compared to a fictional character are two different things. (And many of these people request that you don’t RP with them as a muse anyways!)

>I WILL NOT RP EXPLICIT NSFW CONTENT WITH UNDERAGE WRITERS. Sorry kids, but if you’re under the age of 18 I am not going to write anything with you when it comes to anything related to unsafe explicit content. The NSFW content that will never be brought around under age writers is anything of a sexual nature. Content however of horror, gore, and anything else NSFW that falls under the non-sexual nature is fair game. Remember Kids, I’ll respect you as long as you show you have the maturity and give at least a portion of that respect back. >The Mun =/= The Muse **Though you may notice parallels between myself and my character do not skew this line. I am not my character and my character is not me. Just the same this means a judgment on your character should not be taken as a judgment on you personally.** >I come off as incredibly blunt with my statements. My brand of honesty isn’t easy to handle and I do what I can to lessen the blow of it. You have been warned. >In correlation with the above rule COMMUNICATION is a must if you wish to interact with my character or myself. This means tell me if I am doing something wrong and don’t take offense when I mention criticism for you from my end. My statements can be blunt but I do try to be kind with them.

>This is a guilt tripping free zone. I will not be harassed nor will I dole out that sort of treatment to people. **Just the same I will not tolerate that term being thrown as a label on anyone willy nilly when it is clear the term is not understood by the person pointing the finger.** >This is also a bullying free zone. I will not stand for being bullied or seeing someone else I know being bullied by individual(s). I have seen enough and been on the receiving end enough of this treatment to know the damages it can cause. **Please remember that Tumblr has options in place to report for this sort of stuff.** >In regards to Anon asks. If you make an opinion on how to tell me to run my blog on anon you will get an equally impersonal response. You want to have a personal response you talk to me on IM. Repeat offending anons will be IP BLOCKED. 

>I am obviously OC friendly for any OC’s. Just as I have have made a clear bio page though, I will check to see if you have a backstory posted in easy access for your character as well before I consider interactions. As always, I NEED SUBSTANCE to work. (It should be noted that I don’t follow self insert OC’s if the mun denies them being a self insert. I prefer the knowing honesty from the mun about their creation over the withheld information) >I RP for fun here folks. Though I prefer some longer threads I can enjoy short ones given there is an enjoyable interaction to be had. Just keep the sass down and the friendliness up and we will get along fine. ROLEPLAYING: >ABSOLUTELY NO GOD MODDING! Examples of God modding include:

Controlling another persons character or the outcome of events within a thread. This is the fastest way to lose any partner.

Breaking the forth wall with a character having knowledge they should not have from any source. This can be done humorously with commentary like Deadpool and his awareness of an audience or being a character. Know the difference between it being used as humor compared to plot convenience.

Having your character have god-like or straight out God abilities. Some characters are gods but often the root issue of this sort of character done wrong is them having “Convenient Omnipotence” (Links to Breaking the Forth Wall for plot convenience). This also includes the character referencing information from another characters backstory that has not been directly shared with them. Don’t do this; it can make people behind the writing uncomfortable.

Having your character be completely untouchable. Some characters are known to be adept at dodging but they can’t dodge everything. When you control a character like this you force people to have to match their level. You have no right to complain about them ‘God Modding". Be fair.

Starting a fight in OOC until the IC interactions are forced in the direction you want for your character. Though this sounds indirect this is another example of God Modding as it involves manipulating events and other peoples characters to your whims. Do not go making someone feel intimidated with threatening actions to get what you want. Just don’t do this.

Over-writing what is seen or available in a setting provided to you. Unless you wrote the starter/setting for the interaction do not add things that were not described or attempt to change the setting entirely. This is more of a writing issue but it is still an insult if someone went through of the trouble of making a setting for you only to have you try and change it.

>I am NSFW friendly. If you want to do something NSFW you need to be a mutual, or someone I am interacting with and over 18. NO EXCEPTIONS! Anything sensitive to this nature will be under a read more in writing. Any images however will be on a separate side-blog. >If you find I have an RP post with a TRIGGER THAT NEEDS A SPECIAL TAG for you to know to IGNORE IT, just let me know.

>I am comfortable doing PG-13 RP’s, but I am also fine with more M rated topics, I however will put anything just outside of PG-13 under a read more if the scene is too violent.

>I am comfortable with RPing but not limited to:

Gore/Violence

Battle/Action

Horror

Mystery/Suspense

Slice of life

Romance

Cross-over

Post-Apocalypse/Fallout

Sci-fi

Action/Adventure

Fantasy

PTSD inducing backstory adventures

Plots referencing sexual abuse and Rape **WITH PROPER CONSENT**

Bondage/BDSM **WITH PROPER CONSENT**

>I reserve the right like anyone else to drop a thread I feel uncomfortable in continuing. Be it due to a lack of inspiration or something that just rubs both me and my muse the wrong way. I will communicate the reason with you regardless. >REBLOGGING THREADS YOU ARE NOT INVOLVED IN WILL RESULT IN ONE WARNING FOR RP BLOGS AND INSTANT BLOCK FOR PERSONALS. Just please, don’t reblog a thread you aren’t part of. It mucks up my activity log and ruins my reply tracking something awful. >I have a personal rule when it comes to replies. If you haven’t let me know ahead of time about anything preventing your reply I will remind you within 10-20 days time with a link to the last response post I made on a thread. If it has been 10-20 days since I have replied to your response you are free to let me know in an IM.**If you read this and don’t like being reminded and have proven to have read my rules; PLEASE TELL ME BEFORE WE START A THREAD. I do not enjoy offending or upsetting people**

SHIPPING: >DO NOT FORCE A SHIP. I do not force ships on anyone and I expect that others return this respect. I ship based on character chemistry. >I DON’T JUST SHIP ROMANTICALLY. I don’t mind having ships that link to simple friendships, adoptive family ties, and even enemies in some special cases. I’m not after having my character romantically involved with everyone. Any ship is fun as long as there is a type of enjoyable character chemistry going on in the interactions. >I am MULTI-VERSE AND MULTI-SHIP. This means unless otherwise specified on my Verses & Relations page every ship happens in it’s own verse separate from the others. This means she is not cheating on your character and doesn’t view your other ships as cheating on her. >Every interaction, unless specified, from my character is in a verse where she is single/alone. If you have a similar set up for your character I would appreciate the same respect to do such. I don’t enjoy going into a first interaction with another multiverse/ship blog to have them force me into one of their existing verses with a known ship. **Shipping takes interactions, time and character chemistry. I go into every new interaction unless otherwise specified with my character being single as she is multiverse; if you are multiverse as well I expect that same sort of respect. Don’t force a scenario that prevents even an attempt at character chemistry in a romantic sense down the road. Communicate things first please.** >Anemone is Demi-Romantic and Demi-sexual. This information is stated on her bio. She is open to SOME polyamorous relationships but anyone wishing to do this will need to put forward a great deal of effort in communication for it to work. >If you are singleverse but multiship and want to ship with me I am willing to make it work where we can within reason. However we will need to regularly communicate OOC. Shipping any sort of relationship, especially if multiple connections are involved, needs a lot of communication. A ship that my character does have with a Singleverse character will be, by default, Open Poly-amorous and will not in any way bind the characters to being exclusive to one another. TRIGGERS: >I have a few mild triggers. These triggers are fairly simple and straight forward.

>Suicide - I will not define this properly as people should already understand it’s meaning. A character fighting off suicidal tendencies is fine; it shows growth. A character trying to commit suicide for the sake of getting attention is not fine; threatening to or trying to kill ones self to get everyone to look at you is not okay. If you understand what it is to be suicidal truly you don’t declare you’re going to kill yourself to everyone; you simply commit the act in silence in your own suffering. **Please understand the difference between attention seeking and actual suicidal tendencies. There are a few exceptions to this but the vast majority of people who commit suicide do not announce the thought or threat of it regularly to have people talk them down from it. The ones who do that are looking for people to validate them; they aren’t looking for an escape from a depression/stress in their life.** >Incest - Sibling on Sibling action is not something I like seeing. I can let a few instances of it pass by but if it’s a frequent thing in someones reblog feed I will likely unfollow. It’s something that makes me sick to my stomach. Two family members getting involved in a romantic situation when they are siblings, even adopted, rubs me the wrong way. When you view someone as a brother or sister I find it is not right to fantasize or act on sexual/romantic advances with that individual. Be it by blood or by a family bond through adoption, incest is something that I personally find very disgusting; so please tag it appropriately. **NOTE: Incest that involves Sexual relations with purpose to produce a child is actually under the term of Inbreeding. Just the same I personally find the talk of the practice upsetting to my stomach** >Underage drinking - I don’t like seeing it, don’t like hearing about it don’t like reading about it. It’s a topic that leaves me uncomfortable and annoyed because I find it to be a personally unacceptable thing to encourage. I don’t care if it is in fiction, the act of underage drinking is not something I support encouraging, even if there is an ‘adult’ present to monitor the child. Alcohol has negative effects on a young developing mind and body and isn’t something that should be encouraged for consumption for a child before that development is complete. I apologize if these main rules seem at all harsh or pressing. I’m fairly easy-going, if not a little awkward, and I have my standards laid out here. These rules are here for other muns to understand my bottom line about things; whether or not your character agrees is not my concern. The only thing that matters to me is if the writer understands what I have here, just as much as I work to accept and respect theirs.

**If you have read my rules please send in the password “Can I get a Booyah?!” ** **If you’re not the sort to send in passwords then you can just like THIS POST instead.** Thank you for reading my rules.

[strawbnie]

jelly bean and moon glow!!

!!!!!!!!!!!! you are such a soft glowy presence thank u also this ask made me visualise a jelly bean emoji and im sad we don’t have that

jelly bean: do you prefer walking, driving, or biking?

i. i can’t drive, so i immediately discounted this one but - the answer “biking” had come way too easily to me and i instantly mistrusted this; i have never decided anything in my life ever so now i’m stuck in a mess that i will resolve by giving three different answers. of all three; i prefer car rides most. i don’t think i would if i were the driver. road trips are my favourite activity, i love being in the perpetual inbetween, surrounded by people but not having to interact, just peacefully daydreaming

ii. the instant i saw this i thought “biking”. there’s something so freeing about it; it’s like flight, but without the insecurity of being on ur own wings, u’ve got a sturdy something to guide you; this is such a pretentious answer oh my god but it’s how i feel dalskfjakdlfaj

iii. if i’m in a foreign city, a place i mean to discover through and through, i would much rather walk. i love car rides only if they’re long. if they’re short, they feel stale and disappointing and give me the same woozy sweet dread that vaccinations do. not good. biking is one of my favourite things; but only if i have to go from point A to point B. if i want to savour my surroundings, i’d much rather walk. when i was in barcelona, we would walk the entire day and return home after hours, exhausted - but it always felt good; here at home, walking doesn’t feel so luxurious - but maybe i’m not looking hard enough.

(and that’s how u avoid giving a concrete answer by giving all the answers high five)

moonglow: how do u relieve stress?

m y man;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; i find something sweet in the house;;; if there’s nothing i always employ ece’s cup brownie recipe - i don’t even microwave it i just straight up eat the vegan brownie batter; i know this is hella cliche but i always watch movies when im feeling down. it helps me get absorbed and unwind. i always find one comforting thought and run with that too - sort of give myself an ecstatic themed pep talk; hype myself hella, realise life is short, understand the futility of human troubles - especially social ones - and feel myself like, float free of stress in the moment??? idk how to explain it. dancing around also helps me. i discovered there r two ways for me personally: distraction and extraction; watching movies or eating something that makes me feel content is distraction - physical activity like dancing which builds up my adrenaline and releases lotsa tension sorta “”””extracts”””” the negative feeling if that makes sense???? i know this sounds a little dumb tbh adajkllkdjdkljdjkl but it’s what works for me - but i’m honestly lucky. im a seriously anxious person, i experience crises over almost everything - but just as easily as they blossom on me, i can shut the anxieties down, and i know not everyone has that luxury so i’m very grateful!!!

asks

[caepaecaesurae]

> Caefora: Separate

caepaecaesurae > A sudden, weird, wrenching sense of loss -- and a weird hollow sensation, that at least slightly evens out.  Where once there was Mostly Cae, now there is a back-to-normal Lurky instead. > ..and Caesurae's mind is quiet. > He blinks several imes, woken up from a sound sleep, looking up at the canopies of a strange bed. sugary-empress >Condy startles. What's going on? Where's that person she was? She's supposed to be more... >When she wakes up more fully, she figures it out. It's Tuesday, and all good things must end. "Good ewvening, sweetness~" >Fuck! "Gods dammit, yoar not efin in t)(ere and I'm still doing it!~" caepaecaesurae > He burst out laughing, flopping backwards, a hand dropping to cover his forehead. "You're wvelcome!"

sugary-empress >She sighs and shakes her head. "I can't believe you're t)(e worst, and also contagious~" caepaecaesurae "It's my one flawv." sugary-empress "As far as singular flaws go, being t)(e worst is a pretty bad one~" >Condy has the correct number of boobs and her hair is right again, but still. She'll miss Cae. Having a reasonable person in one's pan is helpful. "You need to be getting back... Some)(ow~ Water we gonna do aboat t)(at?~" >She doubts she's allowed to know how to get there. caepaecaesurae > He blew out a breath, hand unconsciously dropping to lay across hic chest, which was Flat.  ...  He sat there a moment, then looked puzzled, then headrattled and adjusted his bracers.  Then he suddenly had a nice modest set himself.  It was boob time.  Fuck the uniboob.  The fake gold boob was probably laying somewhere around. "...I imagine I'll go to a neutral spot, maybe those backup coordinates wve wvere givwen, and then ask a quadrant mate to pick me up." "Givwen your leavwe, of course." sugary-empress >Condy will have that gold boob framed and hung somewhere as a memory of their time together. >Hm. "Given my leave, dear?~ W)(at do you mean?~" >It's unclear from her tone if the question is sincere or not. caepaecaesurae > That kind of thinking is exactly why Cae still has a ratty old shower curtain Nadaya gave him. caepaecaesurae > He seemed relaxed still.  "WVell, I'm your guest here, it seems polite to ask." caepaecaesurae > He tried to remember what her favorite food was and the memory just wasn't...There.  Hm.  They'd definitely split apart again.  ...He produced a small tray of chocolate-coated berries from nothing, set it down between them, and snacked on one. sugary-empress >She waves a hand dismissively. "Na)(, bro~ I mean, I~ didn't kidnap you, but you were still basically kidnapped, you didn't detide to come over or anyfin~" >She grins a little sharply. "Plus, if people only left w)(en t)(ey )(ad perfis)(ion, I'd still be evil~" >She snags a strawberry. Mmm, food. Things taste different as a full trickster, no concepts of things being too sweet or differing tastes to get in the way. "Yoar free to go w)(enebber~ caepaecaesurae > He decides to actively gloss over any potentially-threatening parts of that and focus on the parts he likes.  "Sounds like a plan.  ....Hn, wve made a lot of parting gifts, I'll havwe to be creativwe wvhen gifting you things nowv." caepaecaesurae "..I think I'll head out either before breakfast or after -- Any preference?  I'm here anywvays." sugary-empress ")(ave breakfast )(ere, sugarplum~ I'll call in a sl-- servant, w)(at do you want?~" >They aren't slaves anymore, they really aren't, but hey, old habits. "Y'know I kinda figured t)(is was gonna end badly, like ebberyone else's did, and I'm glad it didn't!~" caepaecaesurae "Thanks for not kicking me out immediately,"  He glanced over with a wry grin, scratching his chin.  "..A sandwvich maybe?  BLT?"  He hazarded. "I guess it's just our luck that wve aren't that incompatible -- My sympathies on havwing to deal wvith an Ampora for a wveek." sugary-empress "We can manage t)(at, cupcake~ Oh, I would never!~" >Well... She can think of a couple situations where she would do that. "I would usually not~ Yea)(, it's good luck t)(at we're moderately bros, and also uncomfortably similar~ And of course, I'm sorry you needed to deal wit)( my w)(ole nonsense, I'm normally better at not feeling negative emotions!~" caepaecaesurae > He rolled his eyes and rubbed at his cheek.  "I don't think you're the one that wvas bringing us dowvn, there.  You knowv my stance on that sort of thing." sugary-empress "It was dolp)(initely a little of bot)(, t)(e Sal fin really t)(rew me off~" >A servant appears at Condy's summons, seemingly unfazed by the sight of the two of them in bed together. Condy orders french toast and hot chocolate, lets Cae order, then dismisses the servant. "You're an interesting guy to be, you know~" caepaecaesurae "WVell, at least you havwe some time to think about the Sal thing before dealing wvith it nowv.  ...Best of luck," he sounded honestly sympathetic.  He was also good at casually ignoring servants as if they weren't there.  It was polite, eye contact from highbloods was scary. "I imagine it must havwe been quite the change." sugary-empress "O)(, I'm not gonna deal wit)( it in any way, I'm )(oping it's done now~" >The eye contact thing was definitely true. Condy may be less... playful... now, but being singled out for personal attention from her or one of her friends is historically not good. "It was!~ You're very reasonable, and full of anxiety, and gods awful at s)(aring t)(at kinda fin~" caepaecaesurae "That is one wvay of dealing wvith it," he mused.  "...I'm glad I wvas reasonable at least.  The anxiety is ah --  I'm wvorking on it still." "... I havwe no excuse not to talk to Dee left."  Nosewrinkle. sugary-empress "No, you've got no excuse, and if you don't I'm going to need to bully you into it! T)(at's a sweet troll wit)( no reason to use it against you, so any paranoia is unfounded, and it'll make your conversoceans more pleasant!" >Condy is Frowning Sternly, which she never does, but it doesn't last. "Talking is important, you mysterious secretive nerd~" "No, you've got no excuse, and if you don't I'm going to need to bully you into it! T)(at's a sweet troll wit)( no reason to use it against you, so any paranoia is unfounded, and it'll make your conversoceans more pleasant!" >Condy is Frowning Sternly, which she never does, but it doesn't last. "Talking is important, you mysterious secretive nerd~" caepaecaesurae > His eyebrows lifted as she went on, and he leaned slightly away -- not in fear, but as if blown literally away by the force of her opinion. "--It's not paranoia, I just.. don't WVant to, I don't like talking about things." "I don't like being wveak, and if I don't Admit it .." sugary-empress "-Ebberyfin you do is at least a LITTL-E bit aboat paranoia~" >She shared that brain for a week, so she's definitely more qualified than him to say that, clearly. She sighs. "I know, dear, I really really know, but it's dumb!~ Your pan is working against you improving your life, and I know it's not some massive fin, but also, it kind of is!~" caepaecaesurae "WVell, I mean,"  He couldn't Entirely contest that, so he swapped to another subject.  Any subject that no one managed to get him to lose counted as a win after they'd forgotten about it, right? ...Finding another subject was taking a moment. caepaecaesurae "It's so stupid that they'd havwe to tiptoe," he floundered. sugary-empress "No, it's not, but even if it was, life is full of stuff bulls)(it t)(at you do becod you love someone, and or want to be considered a decent person~" caepaecaesurae "I don't wvant to need them to do that," sugary-empress "And asking t)(at someone not randomly mention t)(eir ass)(ole in conversation isn't asking t)(em to tiptoe~" caepaecaesurae Dramatic Eyeroll. "That depends on the person, unfortunately." sugary-empress >Condy dramatically eyerolls right back! "Yoar only unreasonable aboat your own fins, w)(ic)( makes sense, ebberyone is, but still, it's like, dude~" caepaecaesurae > He sighed deeply and flopped backwards, resting the back of his arm on his forehead again. "I'll--Look, /today/ I havwe other things to wvorry about, wvith getting back into my univwerse and dealing wvith wvhatevwer safety measures they wvant and all that." "But i'll get around to it," caepaecaesurae "And they'll be nagging me too," sugary-empress "W)(at will you )(ave tomorrow, )(m?~" >Well, they will nag, at least that's true. Siiigh. "It's a good fin I adore you, becod you're annoying~" >It isn't said with any malice, just affection. caepaecaesurae > He blushed despite himself, which set off a bit of the bioluminescense. "WVell, at least I havwe that then." sugary-empress >Oh no, that's cute... >The food arrives just in time, and Condy digs into some huge pieces of French toast dusted with powdered sugar. It prevents her from needing to say anything about that, but she does speak after a couple bites. "I'm gonna bug you if you don't do t)(e fin, you know~" caepaecaesurae > He accepted the food with an absent thankful nod for the servant -- positive aknowledgement, without any personal identification.  ..and pressed a hand to his cheek for a moment, shaking his head. "..I appreciate that, thank you.  I'll be doing it." sugary-empress "I know you will, eventually!~ I believe in you~" >No more gross friendship emotions, only food now. caepaecaesurae "Should I bother changing my vwent blog passwvord?  I imagine our social circles wvould be distressed if I didn't."  It was currently pumpernickel.  He'd been vaguely hungry when he made it. sugary-empress "Mm, feel free if you'd like, I wouldn't c)(ange mine except t)(at Nadaya )(as it now~ I know )(e was one of t)(e people w)(o read my vent and passed it around t)(at one time~" >Her password was redbloodvelvet, for similar reasons. "O)(, and tell basically ebberyone you know to c)(ange t)(eirs, I'm sure t)(ey know, but still~" caepaecaesurae He grimaced his sympathy, nodding, and starting in on his sandwich.  "I wvill.  It's almost tempting to make a second vwent blog for those that don't get along wvith my current friends, but that's probably a bit much." sugary-empress "T)(at is definitely a bit muc)(, it's also t)(e most you t)(ing I've ebber )(eard~" caepaecaesurae He sighed.  "They can't all be wvinners.  It's atrocious that I can't talk openly anywvhere though." sugary-empress "Always feel free to glub at me, babe, I know it's not t)(e same as doing it to an audience, but still~ I'm sorry, t)(oug)(, s)(it sucks~" caepaecaesurae > Sigh, nom.  "I wvill, thank you." "I'll pull through just fine, I knowv it's not like it's a hemoflip and I'm not fearing for my life outside of edge case scenarios like this wveek, it's just frustrating sometimes." sugary-empress ")(ow often are your edge case scenarios, my dear?~" >She isn't THAT concerned, really, she isn't, it's just that she likes him and he deserves only great things! caepaecaesurae > He shrugged, chuffing softly, and focusing on a bite of sandwich for a bit.  "...swveeply, biswveeply, in that range.  It might cool dowvn as wve all get used to one another."  Or heat up as tensions rose, or stay exactly as it was, who knew.  But probably that first one. caepaecaesurae "...And it's nevwer something that wvould... compromise my contingency plans to stick around, thusfar.  Mostly."  He shook his head.  "Price of doing business I think." sugary-empress "Good, good. People I like can't die, I don't like it. Besides, those are pretty solid stats, dear. You're incredibly c)(arming, clearly, but we knew t)(at." caepaecaesurae Another of those little grins.  "I don't like it wvhen people I like die either.  Take care of yourself best you can, alright?" caepaecaesurae > He let out a breath, and ran his hand through his hair.  "..I do my best.  I'll...see howv wvell I can do." sugary-empress ")(m... Well, I'm awful at making good decisions, but I'm )(istorically amazing at being alive, so I guess it's a tossup~" >She pats him on the shoulder. "You'll do just fine~" caepaecaesurae "Improvwisation counts for a fair bit, as wvell evwidenced by Nadaya," he mused.  The pat earned her a smaller smile. sugary-empress "I sink Nadaya is proof t)(at even an unrealized )(ope aspect is fucking amazing, actually, but I get your point~" >You finally finish your french toast, and busy yourself with wiping the powdered sugar up with your finger and licking it off. "T)(anks for being so cool aboat ebberyfin~" caepaecaesurae His mouth opened and he paused that way, before hesitantly nodding.  "...True, there is that." "..Thanks back at you.  Sorry for all the second-hand ah.  /Fuss/.  From my clade.  I'll see wvhat I can do to put them at ease tonight." sugary-empress "No need to apologize, I understand~ I even understand it from t)(eir points of view, I'm just a delicate w)(iney flower~ T)(ey'll be )(appy to )(ave you back!~" caepaecaesurae "WVell, I think wve're all a bit delicate wvhen it comes to being personally threatened.  And they wvill." He shook his head.  "..I'm glad this doesn't havwe to be some big production." Today at 7:44 PM sugary-empress "I'm glad as well, sugar~" >She beams at him. What a good dude. "Are you ready to go?~ Is it time?~" caepaecaesurae He grinned back at her and rubbed his head.  "Guess so.  Can someone showv me to the pad?  I think wve alwvays teleported..." sugary-empress "I will, sweetfins~" >She got out of bed and led the way to the nearest transportalizer, not far from her room. It should probably be farther, for security reasons, but it's so convenient... "Let me know if you need anyfin atoll!~" caepaecaesurae > Especially considering she could teleport.. "I wvill.  Thank you."  Best not to spoil the moment.  He followed. When they finally reached the pad, he started typing in numbers and gave her one last smile and a wink. sugary-empress >Wink and fingerguns! caepaecaesurae > Wry grin, fingergun, and port out. (( that's /so fucking corny/ XD )) sugary-empress >They're both fucking nerds. caepaecaesurae > Yeup.

[thisdaynews]

'I'm standing here in the middle of climate change': How USDA is failing farmers

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/im-standing-here-in-the-middle-of-climate-change-how-usda-is-failing-farmers/

'I'm standing here in the middle of climate change': How USDA is failing farmers

Farmer Rick Oswald’s Rock Port, Missouri, family home was destroyed by heavy flooding in spring 2019. His fields remained underwater for several weeks. | M. Scott Mahaskey

ROCK PORT, Missouri — Rick Oswald is standing on the doorstep of the white farmhouse he grew up in, but almost nothing is as it should be.

To his right, four steel grain bins, usually shiny and straight, lie mangled and ripped open, spilling now-rotting corn into pileslike sand dunes. The once manicuredlawn has been overtaken by waist-tall cattails, their seeds carried in by flood waters that consumed this house, this farm and everything around it last spring.

“This house is 80 years old,” Oswald says, stepping inside the darkened living room, which now smells faintly of mold. “Never had water in it.”

American farmers are reeling after extreme rains followed by a “bomb cyclone”— an explosive storm that brought high winds and severe blizzard conditions — ravaged the heartland, turning once productive fields into lakes, killing livestock and destroying grain stores. The barrage of wet weather across the country this spring left a record-shattering 20 million acres unable to be planted — an area nearly the size of South Carolina. Other weather-related disasters, from fires in the West to hurricanes in the Southeast, have converged to make the past year one of the worst for agriculture in decades.

But the Agriculture Department is doing little to help farmers adapt to what experts predict is the new norm: increasingly extreme weather across much of the U.S. The department, which has a hand in just about every aspect of the industry, from doling out loans to subsidizing crop insurance, spends just 0.3 percent of its $144 billion budget helping farmers adapt to climate change, whether it’s identifying the unique risks each region faces or helping producersrethink their practices so they’re better able to withstand extreme rain and periods of drought.

Even these limited efforts, however, have been severely hampered by the Trump administration’s hostility to even discussing climate change, according to interviews with dozens of current and former officials, farmers and scientists.

Top officials rarely, if ever, address the issue directly. That message translates into a conspiracy of silence at lower levels of the department, and a lingering fear among many who work on climate-related issues that their jobs could be in jeopardy if they say the wrong thing. When new tools to help farmers adapt to climate change are created, they typically are not promoted and usually do not appear on the USDA’s main resource pages for farmers or social-media postings for the public.

The department’s primary vehicle for helping farmers adapt to climate change — a network of regional climate “hubs” launched during the Obama Administration — has continued to operate with extremely limited staff and no dedicated resources, while keeping a very low-profile to avoid sparking the ire of top USDA officials or the White House.

“I don’t know if its paranoia, but they’re being more watchful of what we’re doing at the local level,” one current hub employee said, speaking on the condition of anonymity to avoid possible retaliation. “It’s very interesting that we were able to survive.”

The result is parallel universes of information. On the climate hubs’ under-the-radar Twitter account, farmers, ranchers and the publicreceive frank reports about monsoon rain storms becoming more intense across the Southwest, fire seasons getting longer across the West and how rising temperatures are already affecting pollinators.

“With #climatechange, wet is wetter, hot is hotter, dry is drier… and what do we do about all that?” reads one hubs account tweetfrom last April, quoting a New Jersey farmer talking about how to adapt to climate change.

The climate hubs’ account has only 3,200 followers. There are about 2 million farmers and ranchers in the country. By contrast, the official USDA Twitter account, with nearly 640,000 followers, completely avoids the topic. That account hasn’t used the word “climate” since December 2017.

Nearly every farmer and rancher POLITICO interviewed for this story — dozensin hard-hit states including Nebraska, Ohio and California–said they had not heard of the climate hubs. Of the few producers who had heard of them, most were not aware of the many adaptation tools and resources that have been developed to help with decision-making.

Though Oswald has been unusually vocal about climate change negatively affecting farmers, he, too, hasn’t heard much from the climate hubs, nor does he ever hear USDA officials broach the subject. Asked if his local USDA office ever talks about climate change adaptation, Oswald laughed.

“No.”

The logic for such silence makes little sense to farmers like Oswald: Most believe that the climate is changing, though only a small share believe it’s primarily driven by human activities. But the department doesn’t have to dive into the debate about what’s causing climate change to help farmers prepare and adapt.

“I’m standing right here in the middle of climate change right now,” Oswald said.

***

The Agriculture Department is not one of those government agencies that believes it does best by doing least.

Founded in 1862, at Abraham Lincoln’s request, the department would grow to play a central role in the New Deal of President Franklin Roosevelt, embracing a more activist approach to respond to crises like the Great Depression and the Dust Bowl. Today, its mission is even more expansive. The department doles out billions of dollars in farm subsidies, underwrites insurance on millions of acres of crops, researches and helps control diseases that threaten plants and animals and buys up massive quantities of food when farmers produce too much — a surplus that supplies food banks and schools nationwide.

But when it comes to climate change, there has been a curious silence hanging over the department, even as its own economists have warned that warming temperatures will make helping the agriculture sector more expensive in the future.

USDA spokespeople, who have long denied having any policy that dissuades discussion of climate change, declined all interview requests for this story and would not allow any officials who work on climate adaptation to discuss their work with POLITICO.

In an email, a USDA spokesperson rejected the idea that the department was failing to help farmers adapt to climate threats: “To say USDA does little to help farmers and ranchers is completely untrue.”

The spokesperson pointed to the department’s array of conservation programs. These longstanding initiatives, which all together make up about four percent of USDA’s budget, provide financial incentives for farmers who want to adopt more environmentally friendly practices or take land out of production, but they were not designed to respond to or help mitigate climate change.

Ferd Hoefner, a senior adviser to the National Sustainable Agriculture Coalition, said his group and others have for years pressed USDA officials to use its existing conservation incentives to help adapt toand combat climate change, but the idea has not gotten traction within the department.

In fact, a recent investigation by POLITICO found that USDA routinely buries its own scientists’ findings about the potential dangers posed by a warming world. The department also failed to publicly release a sweeping, interagency plan for studying and responding to climate change.

Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue, for his part, has publicly suggested that he doesn’t believe the science coming out of his own department.

Asked specifically whether he believes climate change is caused by humans, as the vast majority of climate scientists do, Perdue demurred: “We don’t know. Obviously many scientists believe it’s human caused. Other scientists believe it’s not.”

“I think it’s weather patterns, frankly,” he said in an interview in June. “They change…It rained yesterday. It’s a nice, pretty day today. The climate does change in short increments and in long increments.”

Meanwhile, the National Climate Assessment has repeatedly warned that human-driven global warming will likely have dire consequences for American agriculture and make things particularly volatile in the Midwest, which has long been one of the most productive breadbaskets in the world.

But the federal government’s foot-dragging did not start during this administration.

For decades, USDA avoided tackling climate change head on, even as the department invested in research that raised warnings for farmers and ranchers and the food system as a whole. The topic has historically been too politically toxic in thetraditionally conservative agriculture sector, which fears more regulation while also being extremely reliant on government programs.

The conversation began to shift noticeably during the Obama administration. Senior government officials became increasingly vocal about climate science and the urgent need for farmers and ranchers to not only better withstand periods of extreme rain or prolonged drought, but position their industry to be a major part of the solution.

Environmentalists and a growing portion of the industry think American agriculture could be shifted from a significant source of greenhouse gas emissions to instead be a massive carbon sink, or a giant sponge pulling carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere and into millions of acres of soil — something that could actually help combat climate change.

There are several relatively simple changes farmers could make to become more resilient, which also have the benefit of drawing down carbon. Producers, for example, can reduce or eliminate tillage, which not only prevents soil carbon from being released into the atmosphere, but also helps improve how soil holds up to too much or too little moisture. They can add what’s known as cover crops to their crop rotation, a practice that helps build better soil structure — and has the added benefit of sequestering more carbon into the soil, making it more resilient to extreme weather.

But changing how farmers farm is an enormous undertaking. It requires the right mix of economic incentives, education and resources for farmers and ranchers to experiment with new practices and still make a living.

In early 2014, USDA launched the 10 climate hubs, which were supposed to be the front lines of the department’s effort to get emerging climate science into the hands of farmers.

At the time, then-Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack touted the hubs as a way to ensure American farmers and ranchers “have the modern technologies and tools they need to adapt and succeed in the face of a changing climate.”

The hubs were set to be locally-tailored, serving seven specific regions that each contained several states, with the exception of the Caribbean Climate Hub, whose mission was primarily to help Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. The hubs were to be housed in USDA labs or offices in the Forest Service or the Agricultural Research Service.

The attempt to use existing facilities and draw on existing resources was deliberate. The Obama Administration faced a Republican-controlled Congress, which could have easily targeted a line item focused on climate change. Thus, there was never any real funding set aside for the hubs. Their staffing level — between two and five staff per hub, including a fellow on temporary assignment — was miniscule for a department that boasted nearly 100,000 employees.

The initiative was set up as an interagency collaboration, which meant that several disparate arms of the department were expected to contribute staff and resources.

The set-up, while politically savvy, began to backfire almost immediately as some officials viewed the hubs as essentially an unfunded mandate. The degree to which agencies within USDA were enthusiastic about supporting the effort varied greatly, but because it was a high priority for Vilsack the project rolled ahead.

The hubs had barely gotten up and running by the time the 2016 election hit.

When Donald Trump won — after having dismissed climate change as a Chinese hoax during the campaign — several officials thought the hubs would almost certainly be on the chopping block. But notice never came.

Weeks into the transition, a new concern emerged for staff working on climate adaptation and mitigation within USDA: What are we allowed to say?

In February 2017, Bianca Moebius-Clune, a career official directing soil health at the Natural Resources Conservation Service, the agency charged with overseeing conservation and other land management programs, sent an email to senior staff recommending that they consider clamping down on climate-related terms, according to a trove of internal emails revealed by The Guardian — an apparent attempt to preempt any political friction on the subject.

Instead of climate change, staff should consider using “weather extremes,” she wrote. Instead of climate change adaptation, staff should consider using “resilience to weather extremes/intense weather events: drought, heavy rain, spring ponding,” according to the emails.

Another exchange showed a different senior official appearing to suggest that a survey of USDA employee attitudes on climate change, a climate hubs project, should be reframed to downplay the issue. One of the researchers on the project pushed back and the official backed down.

At the time the emails were revealed, USDA strongly denied the suggestion that climate terms had been censored, arguing that there had been no directive from political appointees to do so. A spokesperson told POLITICO at the time that it was “unclear why career staff behind the memos had raised the issue to staff.”

When Senate Agriculture Committee ranking member Debbie Stabenow (D-Michigan) raised concerns about the emails in a letter to Perdue, the secretary replied days later with a searing letter, suggesting he found it “disconcerting” that the Michigan Democrat had relied on the account of a British newspaper, according to a copy obtained by POLITICO.

“Nothing has changed in our commitment to working with the people that grow our food and fiber to address our resource challenges, including climate change,” the secretary wrote. “The department has not censored messaging on this or any issue, and I defer to the career professionals working in these agencies on how best to communicate with the farmers, ranchers and foresters that live in their communities.”

Since then, wheneverDemocrats on Capitol Hill have become frustrated about USDA not doing enough to address climate change, Perdue tends to deny there’s been any change in policy and point out that the department has kept the climate hubs up and running.

The secretary recently sat down with Rep. Chellie Pingree (D-Maine), a longtime advocate for making agriculture a major part of not just adapting to but also mitigating climate change, and, by Pingree’s account, told her he supported the idea of paying farmers to sequester carbon in their soil, a topic his own department tends to shy away from talking about. In other settings, the secretary has openly mocked the topic of climate change.

“It’s selective depending on who they’re talking to,” Pingree said in an interview. She recalled a recent House Agriculture Committee hearing where Perdue made a joke about needing to give Pepto Bismol to cows to cut down on their flatulence — taking a shot at the Green New Deal debate — but other times when she’s pressed him on climate change and soil practices he has changed his tone.

“He gets all serious and says ‘oh yeah we have the climate hubs,’” she said. “We’re in the same room and he’s sort of presenting his two points of view.”

***

The 69-year-old Oswald, for his part, has believed the scientific consensus on climate science for a while. For nearly a decade, he led the Missouri chapter of the National Farmers Union, a liberal-leaning group that represents farmers and has long accepted the science on climate change. But this year has been particularly awful.

Oswald’s parents built the tidy farmhouse in “the river bottom,” as locals call it, in 1939, about four miles off the Missouri River. When the foundation went in, his dad asked the builder to add an extra layer of cement blocks to give the house a leg up against any flooding that might come their way.

For much of the past century, Oswald’s family and farmers in the area lived in relative peace with the Missouri River. That started to change dramatically in 1993, when both the Missouri and Mississippi rivers flooded and sunk more than 300,000 square miles of the heartland under water — a catastrophe that killed dozens of people and caused $15 billion in damages.

Even then, the flood water didn’t breach the ground floor of Oswald’s farm house. In the years since, there have been numerous scares, when intense rains or snow melts have filled the river to its capacity, causing Oswald and his neighbors to be “on edge” year after year, he said.

The last time Oswald’s land flooded, in 2011, was a turning point for him.

“Before that I was saying, yes the climate is changing, but I wasn’t ready to say that the change was caused by human activity,” he said. As he looked at the science on rising temperatures and increasing greenhouse gas emissions, he said he became convinced of the connection.

Back in 2011, a bout of extreme rains left upstream reservoirs so overloaded with water that the Army Corps of Engineers had no choice but to stage a controlled flood.

Farmers in Oswald’s area were given three weeks’ notice before the flood water was let loose. Equipment could be taken to higher ground, corn and beans moved out. Oswald’s house was spared.

What happened this year was a “perfect storm” in many ways, he said. It had already been one of the wettest years on record in much of the Missouri Riverwatershed when a huge storm — dubbed a “bomb cyclone” — pummeled the central U.S. in mid-March, dropping massive rain and snow from North Dakota to Colorado. In many places, the ground was too frozen to handle the influx of water, leading to widespread runoff.

Several communities saw the Missouri River and its tributaries rise to levels they had simply never seen before.

In northeastern Nebraska, one tributary became so overloaded with water and massive chunks of floating ice that it burst through the Spencer Dam “unleashing a wave of water” into the already fast-rising Missouri River, as the federal government would later describe it.

“Dams aren’t supposed to collapse,” Oswald said. “But they’re also supposed to be managed so that they don’t collapse. When you have as much rain and snow as we had, then man has to take that into account. If they don’t, why, this is the kind of thing we get. This ignorant denial of the fact that, yeah, the climate has changed and things are different now, is just going to lead to more of this.”

***

Against the backdrop of a devastating year, the climate hubs, USDA’s front line to help farmers, are not just flying under the radar — they are also struggling to hold on to what little funding and staff they have.

The inaugural class of fellows, many of them post-docs, who helped launch the climate hubs has begun to move on and those workers, who make up nearly a third of the total staff, are not expected to be replaced. USDA said no decisions have been made about whether the fellows program will continue.

“It’s duct-taped together,” said one current climate hub employee who requested anonymity to avoid retaliation.

The haphazard budget set-up, where agencies are expected to chip in, has only gotten more precarious as the hubs go further into an administration that seems largely indifferent to them. As another official explained it: “It was set up to be preserved because it doesn’t have a line item, but it was also kind of set up to fail because it doesn’t have a line item.”

In recent years, two of the USDA agencies that had been supplying funds for the hub network have pulled their financial support: the Risk Management Agency and Farm Service Agency, according to documents obtained by POLITICO. Despite these challenges, USDA said the department has managed to keep the overall budget for the climate hubs largely flat — at nearly $11 million total for all ten locations — since 2015.

Nonetheless, other agencies have started to ask that the staff they’re dedicating to the hubs do more work that’s specific to the mission of their agency, not necessarily the broader mission of the climate hubs.

The Forest Service, for example, is less interested in changing on-farm practices because it’s outside the scope of its work, and the Agricultural Research Service is generally more interested in publishing papers in peer-reviewed journals than it is in doing farmer outreach, something that’s usually left to other parts of USDA.

The rocky political situation has left the hubs to struggle with competing priorities and an uncertain future while international authorities warn that action on climate is increasingly urgent to stave off the most dire consequences.

Officials who work on climate issues within USDA are often conflicted about whether the hubs and their resources should get more promotion in the current administration, according to more than a dozen interviews with current and former staff. On one hand, they see their work as more urgent than ever, but on the other there’s a sense that ignoring the hubs may be key to their survival in a politically hostile environment.

“The one saving grace is that they’re so low-profile they haven’t been targeted,” one former hub official said.

Against the odds, theboot-strapped climate hubs have come up with several programs and tools aimed specifically at helping farmers, ranchers and forest managers make climate-focused decisions, according to interviews and a review of their websites. And the hubs continue to use the term climate change liberally — a rarity in the department.

Last year, the Northwest Climate Hub, fresh off a particularly horrible wildfire season, contributed to a new tool called AgBizClimate built by Oregon State University. The program allows operators to plug in farm-specific information and model out economic costs and returns for their businesses under different climate scenarios.

“This tool is a powerful means to summarize and help farmers understand their area’s available climate information,” according to a page on the Northwest Climate Hub’s website. “More importantly, it shows how climate change could impact the costs and returns they are likely to face over the next twenty to thirty years.”

Earlier this year, the Northern Plains Climate Hub teamed up with the University of Nebraska Lincoln to launch a new simulation tool to help farmers make farm-practice decisions based on extreme weather scenarios — something that rolled out just months after record flooding of the Missouri River and its tributaries left countless fields either under water or too wet to plant.

The Southwest Climate Hub, which serves an area where rising temperatures are expected to hamper growing leafy greens and other sensitive specialty crops, in 2017launched a data portal called AgRisk Viewer, which allows farmers and local officials to analyze trends in crop insurance payouts by state or county, providing an overview of what type of weather is driving losses in certain areas.

Such systems could be useful to farmers whose operations are increasingly high tech and data-driven. But most of the digital tools are so buried on USDA’s network of websites that producers would likely need to know what they were looking for to find them.

One exception has been an initiative developed by the Northern Great Plains Climate Hub called Grass-Cast, which forecasts how much grass will be available for livestock in the upcoming summer. Last summer, USDA’s blog touted the newly launched tool, which uses more than three decades of data to make predictions.

The decision to highlight the work of the Northern Great Plains Climate Hub shows that when USDA wants to embrace a tool, it has the capacity to do so. In most cases, it doesn’t. That consigns important information that could help millions of farmers to the back reaches of the extensive web of USDA websites or the largely unseen Twitter feed of the climate hubs.

In late August, for example, the hubs account posted a report confirming that 2018 was the fourth-warmest year since the mid-1800s, while greenhouse gases and sea levels were also at record levels. The tweet got a meager one like and one retweet.

The same day, the climate hubs account also posted an updated climate outlook for Midwest farmers and ranchers, with the latest weather and climate projections. The report illustrated how average temperatures are increasing in most parts of the country and warned that there is going to be more rain, more potential for soil and nutrient loss, and increased need for drainage across the region.

That tweet was retweeted only twice.

USDA defended its marketing of adaptation resources, noting that they can be found on the climate hubs’ central website. Each regional hub also holds local workshops and publishes peer-reviewed studies about the effects of climate change, the department said.

But during the current administration, USDA’s twitter account has not retweeted a single post from the hubs, like it routinely does for other parts of the department. Nor has it ever shared any of the climate hubs’regional vulnerability assessments or tools aimed at helping farmers adapt to climate change.

The stealth-mode of the climate hubs is also apparent in the resources USDA provides for farmers and ranchers.

A new online platform called farmers.gov, lauded by Secretary Perdue as a one-stop shop for producers, for example, doesn’t direct producers to the climate hubs or share any of the tools that have been developed by the hubs.

As in previous administrations, USDA continues to urge farmers and ranchers to focus on soil health, but the department has since abandoned a broad “Climate Smart” effort it launched under the Obama administration in 2015. That plan was aimed at reducing agriculture’s net emissions and sequestering more than 120 million metric tons of carbon dioxide per year by 2025.

“This reduction is equivalent of taking 25 million cars off the road or offsetting the emissions produced by powering nearly 11 million homes per year,” USDA said at the time.

That claim that has since been scrubbed from USDA’s website.

“In this administration, it’s really tough to talk about climate change, but you start talking about soil health — that seems to be palatable. It is a problem though,” said Fred Yoder, an Ohio farmer growing corn and soybeans, who used to lead the National Corn Growers Association and is a vocal advocate for no-till, cover crops and other adaptation practices.

“It’s absolutely a crying shame that we’ve politicized climate change,” Yoder said. “It’s science. Science isn’t perfect. But it’s the very best tool we have. And the science is clear.”

“Right now we’re dancing around the administration’s reluctance to call it what it is,” he said. “It’s an absolutely perfect time to talk about how to adapt.”

***

While USDA keeps its work on climate change under the radar, the scene in Rock Port looks almost apocalyptic.

Leaving Oswald’s farm, there are bare fields and washed out roads as far as one can see. In some places, fertile soil has washed away and headed down stream, leaving cracks in the fields. Multiple nearby exits off I-29 — the interstate that extends from the Canadian border down to Kansas City — remain closed.

Off in the distance, there’s a lava-like inferno. The glowing sliver of red and orange is a massive pile of soybeans that’s been burning, on and off, for weeks.

When the beans first began to burn, folks in town were confused, Oswald said. “The local reaction was: ‘What the hell? What’s burning?’”

It turns out when soybeans get wet, the oil starts to separate from the rest of the bean. As the damp beans heat up under the sun, the warm, decomposing mixture of organic matter and oil can spontaneously combust.

It smells like “a cross between hot brakes and burning rubber,” Oswald said.

Oswald doesn’t like seeing the house his father built look like this, scattered with debris, water-stained walls surrounded by weeds, and he grows more somber thinking about what his parents would think.

“I look at the heavens once in a while and think my folks can’t be too happy about it,” he says.

Now, he’s trying to pick up the pieces. He recently got word that a sweeping disaster aid bill Congress passed earlier this summer will help pay him back for some of the more than 20,000 bushels of corn now laid waste in his yard — a check that will cover roughly half of what he would have made if he’d been able to sell his corn, he said.

Subsidized crop insurance he took out on the acres he couldn’t plant this year will help give him enough cash to stay afloat until next year, he said.

His family home will likely need to be razed, but is it worth rebuilding? If FEMA helps cover some of the cost, it would likely be a tiny fraction of what he would have to pay out of pocket.

Another round of off-the-charts rains recently pummeled the watersheds upstream from him, taking the great Missouri River to dangerously high levels again. It’s unheard of for there to be this much rain as summer turns to fall. This week, weather forecasters are again warning of a potentially historic winter storm upstream, a bizarre scenario for early October.

Oswald has no choice but to wait and watch the river.

But there’s one thing he’s not waiting on: Leadership from USDA on how to cope with climate change andthe increasingly unusual and unpredictable weather that comes with it.

“I haven’t really heard anything,” he said.

Maps and graphics by Patterson Clark and copy-edited by Graph Massara and Lauraine Genota.

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I would like to buy a VW bus, but i am a student and i was wondering how much maintenance would cost monthly?

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[dorothydelgadillo]

Digital Marketing 101: How to Define KPIs

If you’re looking to get hired in tech as a digital marketer, there are dozens of niches for you to choose from, from SEO marketing to content marketing to marketing automation, and beyond. No matter where you end up, you’ll need to know how to keep track of your progress and use numbers to demonstrate your results. That’s where digital marketing KPIs (key performance indicators) come in.

Table of Contents:

Chapter 1: What are Marketing KPIs?

Chapter 2: How the Pick the Best KPIs for Your Brand

Chapter 3: How to Track Marketing KPIs

Chapter 4: Which KPIs Should You Track?

Chapter 5: The Best KPIs for Social Media

Chapter 6: The Best KPIs for SEO

Chapter 7: The Best KPIs for Email Marketing

Chapter 8: The Best KPIs for Content Marketing

Chapter 9: The Best KPIs for Paid Ads

Chapter 10: The Best KPIs for Sponsored Content and Partnerships

What are Marketing KPIs?

KPIs, or key performance indicators, are quantitative benchmarks you set to track how much progress you’re making towards your marketing goals. To put it simply, a KPI is a metric you aim to hit to guarantee your project or department is on track, growing, and adding to the company’s bottom line.

The best KPIs follow the SMART framework, a system often used in management consulting. KPIs should be:

Specific Measurable Achievable Relevant Time-Bound

Let’s say you want to hit 20,000 Instagram followers on your company account. To convert that to a SMART KPI, here’s the context you’d need to think about:

In order to influence Instagram sales (relevant), I want to grow my company’s Instagram following (specific) from 10k to 20k (measurable) this quarter (time-bound), using a social media agency (achievable).

As another example, let’s say you want to get more website traffic. To make this KPI smart, you’d break it down like this:

I want more people to visit our website and become customers (relevant), so this month (time-bound), I want to boost our organic search traffic (specific) from 70,000 visitors per month to 80,000 visitors per month (measurable), which I’ll do primarily through link-building and improved keyword ranking (achievable).

In practice, you’d probably list these KPIs on a spreadsheet like this:

20,000 Instagram followers

80,000 site visits from organic search traffic

But! It’s important to have research and a plan behind the numbers if you want them to happen.

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How to Pick the Best KPIs for Your Brand

So, what KPIs should you track? There is a seemingly infinite number of KPIs, and it can be easy to end up tracking everything and learning nothing.

Often, teams will overcompensate for a previous lack of data by building out an epic spreadsheet, replete with bells, whistles, and more KPIs than you can shake a stick at…only to realize it’s too time-consuming to keep updated, and too overwhelming to learn from.

Instead, it’s a best practice to focus on only the KPIs that are actually relevant to your company, your team, and your current projects. To narrow it down, try using questions like these:

If I had to focus on just one thing, what would it be?

Sample answers:

More people on our email list (new leads)

More sales (conversions or revenue)

More people clicking on my emails (click-through-rate)

What numbers do I need to know about to have context?

Using the examples above, here are a few contextual KPIs that can help you get more insight into your most important numbers:

New leads: You don’t just want any new leads, you want the right ones. So, you may also want to track how many of those new leads are likely to purchase your product (marketing qualified leads) and whether those leads stick around (churn rate).

Sales: Sales are great, but you want to make sure those new customers stick around (churn rate). And, you probably want to know how much these sales earn your company over time (customer lifetime value).

Email click-through-rate: In addition to boosting the proportion of people who open your emails, you want to get more people on your email list in the first place (list size), and you’ll also want to up the number of people opening your emails (open rate).

Using this logic, you can build out a list of related KPIs that will help you get a read on the progress you’re making—without burdening yourself with extraneous numbers that don’t help you make decisions.

Is this metric important to the business? (Or just a vanity metric?)

When you’re tracking a number that makes you feel good but doesn’t do anything for the business, that’s a vanity metric.

Try to figure out if the metric you’re looking at actually drives the business forward. It’s easy to get caught up on things like website traffic or email list size, but those metrics are only important if they contribute to business growth.

Am I doing anything to impact this metric?

One reason marketers feel analytics overload when looking at a huge list of KPIs is the fact that, in reality, they’re not actually doing much to affect the vast majority of those numbers. Think about it. As a single digital marketer, and even as a marketing team, there’s only so much you can focus on at one time.

Try tracking only the KPIs you’re actively trying to influence. For example, if you’d love to grow your email list, but aren’t planning projects to make it happen, it might not truly be one of your KPIs. If, on the other hand, it is important, use your KPIs to help you decide what to focus on. If it’s a KPI, it should be a current priority.

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How to Track Marketing KPIs

The simplest way to track your KPIs is to set up a spreadsheet in Excel or Google Sheets and manually add the numbers at the same time each week using sources like Google Analytics and other marketing tools, such as your email marketing platform or social media manager.

You can also pay a virtual assistant to pull data, so you don’t have to spend time gathering the numbers. Or, you can work with your tech team to set up an automated dashboard that grabs the numbers on autopilot.

You’ll need to decide how often to track each KPI. Here are a few good rules of thumb:

Track KPIs weekly when they are very important to the business, and you can change the strategy week-to-week in response to the numbers.

Track KPIs monthly when you can alter your monthly strategy to affect these numbers, and when you need to see a percent growth month-over-month (often due to investors).

Track KPIs quarterly when you need to wait a few months to see if your strategy is working.

A few examples:

Each week, you can tweak your strategy to try to get more leads in the door. It makes sense to track new leads week-over-week, since you can adjust course quickly to use what you learn.

If you want to increase time-on-page, it’s smart to look at this number monthly. Many variables (like an unusually popular post) could skew the numbers in the short-term and throw you off if you look at it too closely every week.

Many SEO strategies take several months to play out. You’ll get more out of tracking these quarterly than weekly.

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Which KPIs should you track?

Time for the nitty-gritty. Which KPIs should you consider tracking at your company and on your team? First, let’s talk about a KPI that is relevant no matter what digital marketing job you have:

ROI

Return on investment, or ROI, is one of the most important KPIs for any marketing. In short, ROI asks the question: Is my marketing team “worth it” to the company? Does my marketing team earn enough for the company to offset the cost of the team and our day-to-day operations?

To calculate ROI, you’ll need to estimate the cost of your marketing efforts, including salaries, fees, and hourly rates, plus the costs associated with marketing tools, platforms and services. To be sure of your value to the company, you’ll want to make sure your team adds more revenue each month than it costs.

Now, at some venture-backed companies, or in niches where revenue comes in through other avenues, you may not be required to prove your ROI. But keeping an eye on ROI is a smart way to keep your team lean and earn the respect of your superiors, who will appreciate you focusing on the bottom line.

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The Best KPIs for Social Media

Reach

The number of people who saw your social media posts.

Impressions

How many times your content was displayed (even if a user didn’t end up seeing it).

Followers

How many people subscribed to your account.

Even if follower count can become a vanity metric in isolation, the size of your following is still important, as long as you’re getting the right kinds of followers, and looking at other metrics, too (such as reach and comments).

Active followers

The number of followers who are actually engaging with your content on a regular basis.

Likes

The number of people who like, thumbs up, or heart a post.

It’s smart to aim for a 10% like-to-follower rate. So, if you have 1,000 followers on Instagram, you can aim for 100 likes per post.

Comments

The total number of comments on a post.

Aim for 1–2% comment-to-like rate when you’re starting out. If your post got 2,000 likes, look for 20–40 comments.

Clicks

How many people click a link on your social media post or profile and leave the platform.

Traffic, leads, and conversions

The number of people who visit your site, provide their email address or purchase after clicking a link on your social media post or profile.

Shares

The number of times your post was shared by another user on the platform.

Mentions or Share of Voice

How many people are talking about your brand.

Here’s a good resource for calculating share of voice on social media.

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The Best KPIs for SEO

Total website traffic

The total amount of times someone visits your site within a given time period.

Organic search traffic

The total amount of times someone visits your site within a given time period because they entered a search term in a web browser and found your site in the results.

Sessions

The number of times someone visited your site and stayed there (even if they clicked around between pages) within a 30-minute window.

Pageviews

The number of times pages were viewed on your site (even if they were viewed multiple times by the same visitor).

Uniques

The number of unique visitors who came to your site.

Keyword Ranking

This refers to how well your page stacks up when someone types a specific keyword or keyword string into a search engine. In other words, how far up on a search engine results page (SERP) does your page end up? You’ll aim for a position on the first page.

Links Built

The number of times other sites link to your page. These are also called linkbacks, or inbound links.

Domain authority / page authority

A score (0–100) that tells you how well your site will rank in SERPs (search engine results pages).

DA was developed by Moz, and depends on things like the number of inbound links to your site. You can also get a score for a single page on your site, or page authority.

Total website conversion rate

The overarching conversion rate of your whole site. You can compare site visits to conversions/purchases, or look at this in a way that makes the most sense for your company.

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The Best KPIs for Email Marketing

List size

The number of people subscribed to your email list.

Delivery rate

The percent of emails that were actually delivered.

This number can be affected by things like issues with the email server.

Email open rate

The percent of people who open your emails out of the total number of emails delivered.

Click-through-rate (CTR)

The percent of clicks on a link in an email compared to the number of emails opened or delivered.

Conversion rate

The number of people who “convert” (typically, this means they became a customer or made a purchase) after clicking a link in an email.

Unsubscribe rate

The rate at which people on your email list are unsubscribing. You can have an unsubscribe rate for just one email, or look at the rate across all the emails you send.

A high unsubscribe rate can indicate you’re sending too many emails, or your subscribers are not interested in the content you’re sending.

Marked as spam rate

The rate at which your email is automatically marked as spam (by email platforms like Google) or manually marked as spam by your subscribers.

A high spam rate is a sign your emails are being interpreted as overly sales-y, or there are other problems with deliverability.

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The Best KPIs for Content Marketing

New leads

Email addresses added to your email list for the first time. You can also track the conversion rate of total traffic to new leads.

MQLs, or marketing qualified leads

To gauge if you’re bringing in “good” leads who are likely to become customers, track MQLs.

You can set up a system for lead scoring using platforms like Hubspot (or manually, by ranking leads based on actions they’ve taken, like downloading a certain white paper or visiting the site a certain amount of times).

Organic traffic

Website traffic generated by paid advertising is considered “paid traffic,” while visitors who found your site by entering a keyword into a search engine are “organic.” Creating high-quality, SEO-optimized content should boost organic traffic.

Downloads or opt-ins

The number of times visitors entered their email to receive a freebie, whether that’s a downloadable PDF, access to a webinar, or membership to a list. This number is different than new leads, since a single lead can convert on multiple opt-ins.

Time on page

The amount of time the average visitor stays on your page. Typically, you want to create content that keeps visitors on your site longer.

Pages per session

The number of pages the average visitor views per 30-minute session. This indicates how “binge-able” your content is, and how many pages can hold your visitors’ attention.

Bounce rate

The rate at which visitors arrive on your page and immediately leave. A high bounce rate is a sign the page isn’t what visitors are expecting.

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The Best KPIs for Paid Ads

Total spend

The dollar amount you spent on paid ads.

Impressions

The number of times your ad was displayed.

Clicks

The total number of times someone clicked your ad.

CPC, or cost per click

The dollar amount you pay each time someone clicks your ad. In a well-targeted campaign that’s resonating with an audience, this number will go down.

CAC, or customer acquisition cost

This number compares the dollar amount a customer pays you with the price of acquiring the customer.

LTV, or lifetime value

The average dollar value of a single customer, taking into account how long they remain customers and how many purchases they make. LTV is a valuable metric because CAC doesn’t account for everything (what happens if a customer makes another purchase a few months later?).

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The Best KPIs for Sponsored Content and Partnerships

New leads

The number of new leads you acquire as a result of a partnership with another company, an influencer, or a brand sponsorship.

Customer conversion rate

The percent of new leads from a sponsorship or partnership that become customers.

Churn rate

The percent of customers associated with a campaign who get refunds (churn rate is the opposite of retention rate).

Referral traffic

Traffic to your website that came from (or was referred by) a partnership or sponsorship.

CAC, or customer acquisition cost

This number compares the dollar amount a customer pays you with the price of acquiring the customer through a partnership or sponsorship.

LTV, or lifetime value

The lifetime value of customers associated with partnerships or sponsorships.

All these KPIs can feel like a lot to swallow. That’s why it’s important to narrow in on the right KPIs for your company and your team. Don’t worry about tracking them all, but use this list to choose the KPIs that make sense for you. And if we missed any of your favorite KPIs, let us know in the comments below!

Do you want to learn more about effectively tracking digital marketing KPIs? Skillcrush’s Beginner Digital Marketing Blueprint and Advanced Digital Marketing Blueprint walk you through the basics of tracking the right metrics as a digital marketer, plus lots more. Learn more here.

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from Web Developers World https://skillcrush.com/2019/02/12/digital-marketing-kpis/