#also I’m not even gonna get into the whole trans cult shit because you should know by now how much of a transphobic dog whistle that is

[ohfugecannada]

Just saw a post by @/mscl*ritea saying drag queens arnt a marginalised group and are “just employees”, while also saying trans is a cult amoung other awful and baffling things after Kevin Bacon voiced support for drag queens on his social media.

Anyway, reblog or reply if you think drag queens are more than just “employees” and deserve a place in the lgbt+ community!

[janiedean]

Antis are in the r*dfem cult too and it's sad how almost half of an entire generation of young queer people got recruited into that

I mean... the problem is that they infiltrated a lot of spaces when they should have been shut off since the beginning and I really just hope people wake up to how toxic and generally shit they are at some point never mind that they're nowhere near progressive, but the fact that it happened is bad and the thing is that... basically anti-ism and terfism have an entire list of shit in common starting with wanting people to conform to whatever they think is the correct way of thinking, being antikink, being anti sexwork, othering anyone who tells them they're wrong, discouraging critical thinking and mostly wanting to police what people are allowed to like or not, and like that's why all those dumbass posts that were around ages ago like 'ah op was a terf so I'm cp-ing from them so that they don't get traffic' were like the most fucking stupid thing in existence

because like sorry if I go into a rant here but point is: you can't steal stuff from a terf and presume to repost it as an opinion you share because guess what you're still sharing a rdfem opinion which is most likely not harmless - what is going to cp posts from terfs saying all men are a scum of the earth going to accomplish? it's a shit rdfem opinion that you should criticize because it comes from that side of the fence, and it's not like you can say 'ah I disagree with rdfems about trans women/trans people/being gender critical but they're right on everything else' because just that means that automatically they're cutting out of the list of ppl they care of everyone that's not a rich cis(het) mostly white woman and I put (het) in the brackets because then they preach political lesbianism and go around saying wanting to be with men is being brainwashed by the patriarchy and like... that's not a thing you can pick and choose. it's shit thinking. it's like that time I argued with one who said that going back to separate gender schools would be super feminist bc apparently girls performed better in a same gender environment and boys performed worse so it would bridge the gap in society and like

that just shows you don't know how a sexist society works bc if society is sexist it doesn't matter if a woman is more competent than a man I mean didn't the 2016 us election teach ppl anything

separated genders schools means that you don't interact with ppl of the opposite gender your age regularly every day until you're 18 and like... not to be that person but if you don't have friends of the opposite gender then how are you gonna interact with the opposite gender when you're in university? like... all these people say men should be more understanding of women but how can they if they don't talk to any that are not related to them?

where do you send trans ppl in this scenario?

what about lgbt people in general surrounded by possibly homophobic/transphobic classmates?

also those schools tend to be private in general so what if someone can't afford it?

like basically such a thing only favors (in theory) girls who are well-off, not lgbt and I dare say not non-good looking bc I can swear an all-girls school if you don't conform to whatever's the ideal is not the place you wanna spend thirteen years of your life, but hey that's feminist! because we said so! and it sounded good! yeah no, it's not feminist it's like dumbass 50s rhetoric dressed to sound feminist and it's the same for all terf crap - like you can scream that you don't like surrogacy how much you want and it's a thing that should be discussed/regulated, but someone telling me surrogacy is a travesty bc 'motherhood is a fundamental part of femininity' which is what terfs say about it means implying that if you're not a mother you're not a full woman and that if you want to be a surrogate you shouldn't which in one go negates body autonomy (bc surrogacy is also that if someone chooses to do it out of their own free will) and says that any woman who can't have children or doesn't want to isn't a whole woman, which... they might think it's a clever way to say trans women aren't women, except it cuts off each single cis woman who's sterile, every single cis woman who like doesn't want to have kids and on top of that sounds like victorian age bullshit bc what the fuck we spend the entire 20th century making the point that having children was a choice and a woman wasn't useless if she didn't have any and in 2021 we're sprouting this? like fuck that, and let's not even go into the antikink stuff because saying that if you like something in bed then the patriarchy influenced you OR it means you're not okay or whatever then it turns into whatever crap antis say about ppl being sick in the head for writing kink which is like not anything that makes any sense whatsoever and guess what you get sucked in like that and then you turn into the kind of idiot who agrees with trump/the american right wingers that you should have guards at public bathrooms to make sure trans ppl don't access the one of their gender and like.... sure, as a woman I feel so much more threatened by a trans woman using the stall next to me than by idk a guard feeling me up to make sure I'm a cis woman before I can use the bathroom, suuureeee /sarcasm

tldr: terfism is backwards right wing ideology dressed up as feminism and that people fell for it like this is a disgrace but I'm nowhere near suprised that terfs ended up recruiting antis or that antis ended up being terfs, bc it's the same kind of bullshit thinking and if you don't wonder why you're sharing the ideas of someone whose ideas you technically loathe then good luck not getting sucked in into cults like that :/

[goose-books]

it’s this blog’s two-year anniversary! did anyone ask for a smudgy goose from straight out of my sketchbook? no! but he’s here and he’s dispensing love! since i made my writeblr, i’ve been lucky enough to meet so many fantastic people with incredible work. so it is time. for me to share my love. and to shout loudly about the people you should follow if you are on this website for good fiction

yves. // @yvesdot​​

oh this is gonna be a massive shocker for anyone who’s followed me for more than one day. but if you aren’t following yves. yet, you absolutely should be. not only are they a gem of a human being vampire with incredible hot takes on everything and a wonderful sense of humor, but ALSO their writing makes me go batshit insane. they have a whole archive of incredible lgbt and jewish speculative fiction (in fact they are the person who got me into speculative fiction as a concept), but in particular let me note: their published book of short stories (buy!!! it!!! i have read it three or four times!!!), KAY RAINIER (can’t believe yves. invented he/him wlw), and their latest Reedsy-contest-winning short story (the last paragraph of which i wrote a multi-paragraph analysis about).

waya // @dogwrites​​

another incredible shocker, i know! but in case you weren’t aware, waya is the creator of Genuinely One Of My Favorite Characters Of All Time, the one and only benji russells, a funky little genius and cat parent who lives in my brain rent free and will never be evicted. waya has such an incredible talent for creating multifaceted and lovable characters, and their passion for their characters and work is so infectious. they also just have... such wonderful vibes. such a kind and lovely person; i am always excited to see they’ve posted. you can read their current work, Edge of the Lonely Quiet (wolves!! werewolves!!! cults!!!! cross-country adventures!!!!!), and their (discontinued/archived) older work, Crime of Mind (secret agents! so much benji!) here!

logan // @albatris​​

for the record, logan, if you’re reading this, i have no idea whether you consider yourself a writing blog. but guys. holy shit. logan’s book in progress, All The Doors Are Open, is SO goddamn good; i could (and have!) reread the posted excerpts over and over again. the apocalypse! but it’s not malicious so much as just incredibly and extravagantly weird! compelling characters! (tris in particular flipped my “i would die for you” switch and so i’m obligated to shout him out by name.) a happy ending! good messages about recovery and friendship! also logan is just so cool, as a human being, excellent vibes, excellent music taste, 10/10 all around.

avi // @avi-burton-writing​​

avi was one of the first people i followed when i ventured out into the uncharted waters of writeblr, and i have literally never regretted that decision once. he literally can just... write anything and it immediately makes me do a motion blur as i scramble over to look at it. i first fell in love with (the now shelved) To Bet Your Life, because the characters were so well-written (can i get a hell yeah for conflicting but extremely important goals!!!), and now i’m eagerly keeping up with An Arcane Magic, which has... just... such cool worldbuilding. it is so so cool. (also a shoutout to Mercurial Beasts because i would kill for jester!) all of avi’s work is so well-thought-out and sticks in my head all the time! and his writing style is gorgeous and complex without being overly flowery!! i simply await the day he will be famous!

ari // @guulabjamuns​​

okay, i’ve only known ari for, like... not even two weeks? but as soon as i read one (1) excerpt from her writing i had to immediately sit down and go through her entire blog archive. something about ari’s work just... picks me up by the collar and shakes me but like! in a good way! in a fantastic way!!! i go particularly feral thinking about Anchor-Point (WLW... RIVALS... IN A DARK ACADEMIA SETTING... ARCHERY... RIVALRY AS A WAY TO VENT SELF-LOATHING... THREE INCREDIBLY COMPLICATED WOMEN IN A TRIANGLE TRYING TO TANGLE WITH THEIR IDENTITIES...) but she recently also posted the first chapter of her incredible sci-fi-noir WIP The Moon Siever and it is fanTASTIC! (also. she is just. so wonderful to talk to, so much fun, impeccable vibes!)

claire // @chalkflint​​

i was lucky enough to find claire’s writeblr just as they were starting their blog and i am so so glad i did because i absolutely must see all of their content or i will perish. their WIPs are SO engaging and fascinating; they’re doing epic fantasy and political fiction in new and wonderful and very homosexual ways and i am obsessed. i particularly recommend checking out lightning on the skin (magic with sci-fi concepts! political drama!! betrayal!!! gay people!!!! and also trans people!!!!!). (also, their art is FANTASTIC.)

blue // @bluejaybabbles​​

last but CERTAINLY not least, oh my GOD. blue was one of the first folks from writeblr i ever spoke to, and in the two years since they have been NOTHING but kind and creative and enthusiastic and wonderfully supportive! they are one of the SWEETEST people i have met online and they have an INCREDIBLE aesthetic, litcherally iconic, 10/10 babey!!! their kindness is just contagious what can i say!!! they also have a super fascinating WIP that does fantastic things with changelings and faeries, and has a delightfully interesting fantasy setting.

in conclusion! if you are not following these people already! please follow them and check out their work! and to these people, if you’re reading this!!! thank you for being amazing!!! i’m so glad i’ve gotten to talk to all of you!!! [throwing confetti with my goose hands except i only have wings so i’m not very good at it]

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars    Episode 10

        Lair of Grievous

An interesting     episode title

 For sure

 [Quote]

  Most powerful is he who controls      his own power

I really    Like       This      Quote

Being a fan of ... accountability

Notably

“Vice      Gunroy

   Escapes,”

Ahhhhh

   I mean?

 The        Episode      Before       Was      (Marginally)         Better        ....         

   To         It’s    Pre      de   cessor

 Why     do       I         Get        The         Feeling             This          Is        Gonna           Be           A         Long        Run..?

    Any       way

    That’s         Going

    Only       that         one         Guy

    No...       -Body         Else

   Uhm

  Kit        Fisto

  What?!

  Okay

 Guess

   His      design        Looks           Neat

    And          No         Ahsoka!       (The         Bad       Parts.)

“Gun-”

 “And     Return    Him       Just-”

Ena     bling!      Where       he’ll      be     put        in      a     cell       with   other     inmates   that   don’t    deserve     that

And       a     distraction      from   reckoning       with       the     consequences       of     his     actions

(And    the     hope     of     getting      out)

“ I know we’re in the middle of     nowhere,”

 I like this   guy

He sounds cool

Has a personality

(An over involved        one?”

But generally good

This might help my     nerves     after     last     episode

Very     chill

Nice

- Oh spoke     too     soon

So has your old Padawan       Dolved

???

Seriously, does everyone keep track of everyone else’s       Padawan

Obi-Wan, it made sense because he’s an   over involved       dick

But, seriously

Shouldn’t that     be   left    To   Yoda as the grand high   Jedi?

He is the guy that okay’s these requests, right?

It’ll   be   great   to   see   Nadar   again

Dude,     he’s   busy

“ i’ll   transmit      the   coordinates      for      the     ren      dez      vous     point,”

Hey     they   got   Ahsoka right!

Maybe     this     episode     won’t   be     a     headache

(Also they just casually    help him      stalk    his apprentice?

 Like,     that   should     be     his   choice

Like yeah  two heads are better than one but that doesn’t mean he agrees   to be a two- headed dragon

Dick   move

And-       It’s    Gone        (to be fair,       it’s only       slightly         too     much         Tone         Than      Ne    cess     ary

“Yet,”

  No

“Good hunting”

  NO!

Well....         It’s       Over,

Okay....

Nice     backgrounds,

This is a really neat   land

Oh, now     they’re     landing

Oh,     cool

Fog     -gy

Neat

Po   -or     Be     -epy              Ro      -bot

 He   can’t     see     any       -thing

“you’ll     be    fine      R6,”

You   have   legs

Not   pleas   ed

Hav   ing         A               Good      Time

“Nadar,”

*Bows*

Dear   frick   who   invited   him   here?

Like,     Dude

Even     if     the     Gen   shares     the   same   inspiration     as   you,       you   still   have     to     obey         by    the   rules     of       tox

 Aka   you   don’t     get     to   be    a   dick   just   because     it’s      a     differ     ent      gen

You   get   kicked       to     the   accoun   -t- ability     curve,         just      as   well

Walk                Ing        into            Some’s      bus    -i      ness      un   warrant   ed    And   un    -ask-      ed     For     Is      Tox

  And     then,           to    follow       it      up,      with       hey          you        did        well       on the           test          we make         you        take!”

    To     prove        we     can’t     assume    authority        over      you

 [Jedi   master     ship         I     believe]

  I’m surprised dude doesn’t say      ‘yeah       your     stupid   club         sucks,”

 “ i’m     sorry        the      war    pre      -vented     me       from   seeing     your      train    ing   through     to    the   end”]

wait   dude’s        Mentor     bitched    out     and      he      still      had       to      take         the         test?!

Murder      is       now      on      the      table!*

   Note; this is a joke

    I   never   advocate   death   over   account   ability

But, geez       Dude got     screwed      over

   You     were      missed    master

 How    old       is     he?

 I’m   going    with   adult-

Knight     Ok      he    has   enthusiasm   

We’re   all   good!

Then    let’s    have     a     look

Allow       me     to     show        the     way

Trans   lation;      Stop    ass    um      ing    

au     tho  rity

Good     for      him

Pretty    pow.

Also   yeah   just   casually   found

“Charming,”

That’s      a   back   -handed   compliment

Like   calling   something   “quaint”

 Dude     if     you’re   going   to      be    on          this             Quest,        Be      Nice,

 Look   after    the   ships

Oh     those     poor      guys

What       happens     to them?

  [Also     ships?]

Okay

 So,     Sith     mon     astery

No      Guards

It’s a Sith   mon    as     tery     surrounded   by     fog

Clearly       they      were      going       for      stealth

[And     it       Is    pretty      re       mote]

The   ent       rance     looks   sealed

 Yeah      It’s    Old

Possibly     -came in the      back    entrance

 And hoped       no one     wou ld    suspect

[We   specialize     in   ma   king   entrances]

Should     n’t     Dude          (Jedi)     Know       That

  Their,       Jedi

   Also        yeah       the      place     clearly      built       for    stealth

    Let’s       bomb       open        the       front       door

     Not        like        they         could       sneak        out            a          back          way

     This           will        make         less         noise

      Thank            you      common          sense

       But,              It           will            still             allow           them                 a              lot              of             time               To              Es              cape

          Like;    

This why staking out is     important

Patience     the both        of you

 THE      NERVE!

  Dude       he got here         First!

   You        wanna         help?

  Be     back up!

 “ A second look     usually      pays       off,”

   On hand,     yes- scouting      ahead       is      good

  On the    other-

   DICK           way        of        put      ting       it

   You      want        to        explore?

    Do          it      your        self

  You      just     assu      med       author        ity       over        a  wh-          ole      group          of      people

      Stopping             them              from             doing              their              thing

[I’m     fully       expec        -ting        him         to       snap          at         five

Like he’s being   pretty   enab-     ling

But   Dude’s       being         a      prick

  [pla  -ying by the        rule of      “But,”         Inst         ead         Of       “Or,”           Or        “And,”

   During          their      re    latively       func   -tional   mission

[dude     never     said      he    couldn’t      blow      up        the        mon     astery

  Just    stated         the fact         and        went        about          his           biz

A nice     factor

 “What’s       this,”

    A      stone

   Bull         -shit

 Whelp

   Smug        Ass

    You        smell         that?

 Arro   gance?

[let him     get    caught     in     a      trap]

“ smells        like     droids,”

 Metal      Does      -

 It’s     too dark to see      anything

   There’s       white       bulbs

Also     [Forgot to     mention],      Chek       Ov’s         Gun?

[For     the    Gun]

 Whelp

  They          Have        Lights

 [Also,            Dark       side      shadowing]

   Whelp

    Hey         at least       ��there’s not as much point

     Whelp

[I sense     there’s something     here]

 Yeah?!

 Was          that       not          the whole point?

 Whelp,

 A rusted     out      old      factory

   Whelp

    Poss-          Ibly

    Watch-           Ing

    “Ssh,”

      You         sure        about         that?

    Whelp

  “Well     that was   some thing,”

   Jedi,         you gonna            do anything      about that?

    Whelp

    Dude          Taking         point

     Aga       -in

   Whelp

 Ordering      someone else’s     troops

  [I seriously hope        that       comes to bite him         in the ass]

     Roger          Roger

     Crud         it’s the moon                             clones!

No,      just droids up the stairs

Neat

They     don’t see     that?

 Whelp

 Vice   Roy

What’s    going          on

  They     robots;      they’re        already     designed      to protect     you

Also;        BAIT!

The Jedi        are here

 Trap!

Also they’re     walking         side-by-side      Nice

 That’s     totally        someone      else     I       call        it

 “ I know       they’re             near,”

    Voice    recording?

    Whelp

    They’re          right       behind         you

    What,       where        do   something?

 Def       -initely       a   diff      -erent   per   -son

Whelp

Taking    longer     than     expect     (ing)

“ Have      you ever killed a Jedi?”

 These    guys have time for    this

When   fighting to fully trained adult       Jedi

BS

Those basic      clankers

There the  basic mooks   that gets mowed down   in the hundreds

Bs

Good   Commentary

Bad     timing

Oh   now   it speeds   up

Good for   them

They   were   loo   -king   pretty   lame

 Whelp

Stop   playing    with     them!

Republic     Dogs

Restraint

Shut    the     fuck      up

  It took hours

 Because

“restr       aint,”

Against    

Mach      inery

 “ i’m   sorry     master,”

Don’t   apologize

  He’s     being       a     prick

  Like      even       by      my     stan-      dards

  [ignor-         ing        the       war]

     He      turned        a fun       exercise       again        st        machinery     boring

       By           micro         managing          every           one

    -carried         Away

     This          -dick

      Those that have power       should restrain themselves          from using it

     Against         machines?

       Dude....

      I stick pretty closely to one          moral code

       And there was nothing even remotely     reprehensible

       About           That           Deal

      Yeah,        if they were sentient

       But, they act just like normal   robots               Running on         prot      ocol           Alone

    Giv         ing        no       hint          to       sen     tience

    Your complaint        literally         comes          down

    To        chopping them into          one           or more pieces

        That’s            extremely              overcontrolling          and              overbearing

        Not to mention to       reprimand        someone....

       Dick            Move 

      That’s          the         point

    Least        it        had       dark       ened      lighting

 “Lieuten        ant,”

Called    it

  Also     way      to      go     dip shits

  You left a com that can be traced back to your exact location

   Whelp

  Okay...

  The tracking          beacon

   Yeah

They knew   we were coming

 And   didn’t send a trap

Instead sene a thing     that can be traced back to the location

Should’ve known   Gunnery wasn’t here

 No,   you should’ve exercised caution

Well at least he isn’t blaming-

Screaming

Yes   he   would’ve

That    was     the     first     tip    off

Also;     clones?

 I apologize     for the deception

 Bull shit

I apologize for my     colleagues

 -What?

  Dude

Seriously

 How easy are you trying to make it for them to find   you?

Count      Dooku  

Why      Dude?

Oh   Wait   enablers   

Guess   this is their     tea     sess

 Okay    hit us     with        that       snark   

    ....

   Light     Roast

   He   honestly     seems       so       sad

   What

    This          has        got          to            be          a        trap

    No shit

   “Catch         Some          One,”

   No   not the vibe I got

  Also     there’s      the     clone

 Wondered     where      he     went

  “To      Catch,”

  Whelp

  Wow

  What?!

   Well

  Looks      like     someone      likes    creepy      statues  

   (I know       there’s       likely       some       deep        lore)

   Shrine

   Dude this whole place looks like a   monastery/castle?

   You’re just        figuring out        This might be some     ancient     something     or another

 It’s on a foggy     planet,         Huge,       Em-bedding      And   desolute

It basically screams     basic cult

 “Warrior,”

 I was going with   barbarian, but   that   works

Whelp

Weird  

 Juices

Nope        Metal

 Grievous      Cult

This is the lair of   General Grievous

 Are you sure it’s not    a cult?

 Like   I don’t know

But    I wouldn’t keep     Reminders     of how I was        brutally dismembered       Around

  IDK

Maybe I’m just not that    extra

Whelp     Dear     Frick

Back     to    the   thing

Also   yeah   don’t     leave

Get    Rein    force    ments

(I know I roast   Plo   about this all the time)

But    A few more Jedi      Might be useful      Against       a guy      With   multiple   hands

(Or at least     tell them       Your       Lo      cation,         What         a       quick    summary)

  So   they know what they’re getting into   if you disappear under   “mysterious   circumstances,”

Oh, plane

Oh,   Grievous

Looks   like     he’s doing   good for   himself

Seems       happy

Never    mind

Guess where  ignoring that   thing

With     The     Comms

Stale      mate

He   honestly   looks    sad

You   have   lost   your   focus

I mean   so far   he hasn’t   won shit

I’m honestly     surprised   he got it this far

Especially considering you’re the   negative overinvolvement side

Sidious       demands   more     dramatic   results

“ can’t   believe   I came   back    to   working   here,”

More   dead   Jedi

Did    he    kill     a   bitch?

(I would say   good for him          but    death<   Acco untability-)

You   expect   victory     over     Jedi

   Is battle        Droids

   It does    require      a brain

   And     a willingness     to escalate

   Oof

 Seriously,     Just       leave

  Whelp

  These        must be   trophies

  Jedi      he’s   murdered

  Isn’t the str- the Ed-    braid!        Thing       only     for   Padawan’s      Like,        you      don’t      seem        to       have       one

   So yeah       Grievous     probably killed a lot of children

     There    are        so      many

  Maybe      don’t      send     children       to fight       your battles

 Why      Would Dooku        want to set a        trap for his best general

    Minion disposing       Tea?

     Also, why are you      playing         into it?

   Like,         fair enough,           don’t turn down free      Intel

  But,      you could set a trap         and          be doing other things

   Like hunting down     Vice Roy   it doesn’t     make     sense

 “Are       we     the     bait      or      is   grie      -vous     the   -bait,”

Good   question

Definitely grievous though

 He was clearly      offered up      as a   distraction     From   Vice Roy

We    must    consider     who the trap          is for

  Grievous

  You’re      supposed    to     take     him      out

 Your   droid     is   track       ing      an     in       coming      ship

  Here      we     go

Match       es       the   descrip     tion

 Keep     out      of    sight

Whoa   whoa    hold     up

Why    are    they    calling     and     answering      to     you

These     are   Raden’s   troopers

Dude    has   literally   hijacked     his    whole      life

Dude       just     kick     him

 Like   fourth    time    but   ,seriously;

Capturing        him     could      turn      the     tide     of the   war

They’re      literally   handing     him      to you      on a       silver       platter

Dude - needs a break

If      he doesn’t know we’re    here

Instantly down to     do    Dooku’s     Dirty     Work

 “We     need        a      plan,”

  That’s     what      he     just   said

Whelp

That’s   neat

Cool

Mood   lighting   works

Guards

Does he even know what   happened?

Or   did      Sidious/Dooku     set up      this   elaborate      trap     while       he      was      out

   And       he’s      just    coming     home      like;

   Why        is       the     place       so     heckin    trashed

 Whelp

 Dick

 Dude      didn’t sign up for this

  Welcome      home     general

  Half willing to give it to you

 Whelp

*Oh*

Cough        ing

 Don’t     let     him       cut     the     line

Whelp  

  Heck

 He’s       Trying

 “ Don’t make me destroy you,”

 If they try to foreshadow that ear     lier

   No            Bad

   Ter         rible

 Whelp

 Seriously    did they just    reattach his    legs??

 Also,           They really did not bring anything else to capture him   with

 Besides   cables

To      Grab

 And nothing to tie him up   with

How did they    think     this was going to   go?

Argh

Just got     slap   stick        ed

Haha

“Pack     him      up”           ?

  Whelp

  Dude       they      are     just   knocked     out

 Whelp  

 Neat

Walking   a little   funny

Whelp

The clones get in the way

No   you        didn’t         bring   anything      to   restrain    him   with

“Taken     him,”

   Dude he just said       “taken”

   Not like he said    “killed”

   The most objectionable thing he said    in that     was     blaming   the clones   for his failure

  And   clearly    that     isn’t   your   issue

Narrowing  of the eyes was a    good   reaction

(Pretty sure the darkness is     Him putting unwonton pressure   and guilt tripping      (Gas        lighting)

 He’s just too much of a   coward     to say anything     because he can be held     accountable            At the      fifth      thing

 Let’s     tend      to     the   wounded

 Good      job   reflect     ing   mate

Whelp

Docter   where are you?

 Don’t    be upset with me     master

Geez

Dude does need a   break

Even     his     own     lair      is   toxic

Conversation

Rrgh

Look

Aww

Spare       parts

 Off

Body   guards

Remotely   deactivated      for       a    re-charge

Oh   so they weren’t killed

Gosh   dude came back to      A bunch of droids   laying   dead on the ground        Like;

“These.. aren’t. mine,”

Dude      is    having      a    tough     day

 Argh

 Not   good

Good

Lock down the   Perimeter

Good for   him

Whelp

Looks,     Better

Whelp

Watching

Yeah, those guys are dead from   grievous

He wacked  them with metal claws

Those     guys   don’t   have   a   single piercing mark on them

Nor     dented   helmet

Not ready to take on grievous

No one is

Dude has   robotic      arms

It’s time   we   retreated

Make sure to bring something to       restrain him   next time

Whelp

Grievous isn’t doing anything

Good     for him

“ You are    not going anywhere,”

Well, he tried

He WAS   just given          An ultimatum   from his boss

Gotta       stop    caring     about     those      things

“ Guess    we’ll have to fight       after all,”

 Or       blow open the                                door

Or   sizzle     it     open     with   your   light   sticks

 Lots     of   options

Bring      scout

Aight

Whelp     those guys are dead

Also   how did they even find   them?

Okay, that one makes sense because he was parked literally 5 feet from the base

  Fair   Game

Get out of there R6

Good for him

Whelp

That one   guy...

Whelp...

Yet

Good     for     him

 Of

R6

You told him to   leave

Dick

You surprise attack him

Call hypocrite, fair fight

Aaw, he’s   nice

Fair

Whelp

 Shit

Straight to the point

Doom       Man      -sion

Here        we     come

Whelp

Dude with the force       can’t lift one guy

Well 

General

Dude one trap   and you’re ready to call it quits

Lame

We’ve seen the lower levels of your home

No you haven’t

You were on ground level

And you only just saw anything below that   now

“ we’re not impressed,”

Dude speak for   yourself

Also,    fun

 Good     way       to        heal

   “Good, Good, Jedi,”

   This should be entertaining

        - way to heal-

   “You shall provide    sport for me,”

Like;           That

  Whelp

   Good        time            to       entertain          our        guests

        He’s             a           good            host

      Whelp

      Dude          has            a         dinosaur

       And       bots

     Dude         level       spiked          for           a          moment

    Hmm

    Nice

    Oof

    That       sounds     painful

   Armor       Patches

  “Contrary to your belief     I have other things to do,”

       Good              for            him

 He rans    a med channel

 “ go see to it my   repair,”

   Implaments            (?)

*Impale     Ments

   There may be   some discomfort

  But I’m pretty sure   he was already uncomfortable

   Argh

No sedatives

Off

Weak       link

Whelp

Surprised     his  pistol    did anything

Like seriously   even the swords would take   a few   whacks

There we go stabbing it with a sword

Your   knight   instinct

Whelp

And that clown just became the damsel

Whelp

Whelp

Fail

Guess     he’s   dead

 Or   broke     something

Splat noises   are kind of   humorous

So it could just be a   broken   nose

Great

Whelp

Instinct

Grievous is going to pay for this

Dude he made a humorous   “Splat” sound

“Splat”  is not       a     death   sound

   It      is      a     broken     nose   sound

“Destroy      him,”

I understand your pain

No, this is the time to take the kid away from the   bad situation

(Or actually give him the        don’t kill things talk)

   That’s the better option

   (Since he is still an adult and         can make his decision)

“ but you forget your teachings   Nadar,”

Not like that

  That is how you get       hit in the face

But in this war   strength prevails

 He literally   does have a point

  You two survived because of     “superior genetics”

You’ve literally been   hustling him since day one

And revenge is fine   in terms of accountability

 If someone stabs you,      You’re allowed to stab    him back

   Abusers?        Get their        abuse        back

Specifically in Murder

 The dead      isn’t alive     to take revenge

 And while he is right       that accountability is better

  That murder doesn’t   equal murder

   Because of         the belief          That all (human)         Sentient life          Inherently makes       the world better        By the possibility of them        contributing good

    Which is why         I advocate        accountability

     The way         dude is handling it          is shitty

      Firstly; all those present to the body are considered   enablers, if   they      enable     murder

And   everyone     who     sees      the     body       has       to        be          on       high      alert

  And   accountability      on     sight

 Because        if       you     five rules           A       Murder         -er...

  Point being dude should.     shut the fuck up and     help him find this dude

   The rules have changed

  Yes, yes they have

“ perhaps you are the one that has changed,”

  Shut up toxic

     Dick

    Enabling selfish dick

 “ come now,”

   He realized he fucked up

 “ We   need to move    now,”

  There’s         no     saving      that

  Whelp

  Skipped       past       that

   Looks      better

   “Gor,”

    He      named          it

    Oh

   Where       are      they

 Yeah wait what happened with the   doors?

 “Gor...”

 Aww       He     sounds     so    sad

Argh

Oof

That     pissed him off

Incoming     message from Count   Dooku

 Oh,       Good

 The Jedi have infiltrated your Lair

  Damn

 He   really   didn’t     tell     the     man   about   anything

Your   recent   defeats      at    their   hands

  Wow,         Dude can Literally not get a   break

   You just called him    five minutes     ago

 Fuck you

  He looks so       Tired

     And          Done

“Reassess      your    effectiveness,”

  Oh     that’s bound to piss him        off

 That you actively did   that

I’m expecting a face   Heel turn

 “You”

 There      we      go

  “ you   deactivated       my     Guards,”

    Oh....

[I assumed he just    forgot]

“ You let the Jedi      in,”

  No actually   they found a magic brick

  Unless Count Dooku  just so happen       to press    the button           at        the       same       time

Which      if so      nice

  Makes       dude’s overconfidence   even sweeter

“ so you would testing me,”

  Dick

 And he’s starting to look     It

  Oops

He’s pissed now

 Like I know this is     culminating in a fight scene

  But I would just love     if  just walked downstairs.        And was like     yes      I will go with you

 Out     of     Spite

“ i’ll play your little game,”

  In your condition you need your   rest

  I will rest when the Jedi     are dead

 Oh so that’s how they capture   him

 Maybe after he kills the   young one

Sentry

Those robots do     nothing

Whelp

Control      Room

 He’s         Done

Oh,        what do we have    here?

Oh,    this is what he does?

Master      the Jedi are about to enter the control room

  Snarky      little     shit

“Nadar,     get   inside,”

 Yeah,         No

Ahh

Nadar

Cutting       out      the    abuser

  Whelp

Absolutely       can       kick        ass

Surprised       no     one      who   understands   accountability

“Greetings     young      Jedi,”

 Greetings Boomer

“How       Ex       citing,”

   Neat

And   Meta

 Defeat       us       all

You’re one person   but I accept the understanding

  Get him     Master

Oh    he gets to see his apprentice die on the   big screen

Wait, where is the other   Jedi

Where-

Oh no

Self-awareness

 Oww

 But that wouldn’t kill a     determined

Whelp he accepted death

“No,”

Yep, he’d rather die than live in the world   you made

Enabler

(Technically;    Both of you)

 Welp I will kill you all

Do you hear me Jedi

Do you hear me

Fair   game

Enablers       kill   enablers

  No     one   wins

“ R6      is that you?”

How?!

Meet me at the   south landing   platform

I’m coming for you next   Fisto

Whelp, i’ll be   gone by the time you get here

Dick

Whelp

R6, I’m at the platform

Going     somewhere

How?!

But   also OK

Whelp

Hmm

Fan Technique should actually help in the   fog

Whelp

Pawn In Dooku’s game

That power will only   consume you

Like you

Flaunting it

Right now

Unless his battery   gives out...

Whelp

Ok

 Cheating

How   quickly   power      can   switch     hands

  Whelp  Enabled

 Expect      ed

Accom     plishment

 So   there’s   room   improvement

 Oof

“His heart was in the right place,”

  Not      accountability

“ to answer power         with power                 It’s not the Jedi   way,”

      HAHAHaHa

    What’s the title of this     again?

  Star         WARS      The        Clone           WARS

It takes   two to tango

  Feckin hypocrites

  In this WAR

 HAHAha

“ A danger there Is,”

I feel bad    for the   voice actor   that had to say that   with a   straight face

Nailed it   perfectly well

“Oof losing who we are,”

Oh, that scene

 Chills.

  Oh

                I REALLY liked this episode

It was funny   self-aware   and even   had some good moments with the villains

 Also

   They killed a           motherfucking dragon

      *Named              Gore

      * excuse          language

[nightcoremoon]

the harmful misogynist hypocritical movement called "pro life" seems pretty cut and dry on the surface. they say abortion is murder and women shouldn't be able to do them. counter argument is it's the woman's body and as such the woman's choice, and that women should always be able to have access to a safe medical procedure, especially if you consider that most abortions are done on dead fetuses or fetuses with issues that will end up killing the mother. I'm gonna be using some pretty cisnormative language here and piss off pro-lifers and a lot of catholics, so here's the disclaimers. I'm trans and I'm saying women and mother because it takes less time to say that than "cis dfab and trans dmab people" and "uterus-owning fetus gestation host", I was pro-life a couple years ago, and fuck the world's biggest cult called catholicism. with that out of the way, let's proceed.

I don't think it's quite as simple as "abortion is murder". clearly it's not. factually speaking, a lot of abortions are done within the first few weeks before the zygote could conceivably be even remotely resembling human, let alone live if separated from the mother. a lot of them are also done when the fetus dies prepartum. this spares the mother the pain and trauma the pain of childbirth to a baby that's already dead, and may even save their lives, and it will certainly spare them the costs of hospitalized childbirth which costs a lot of money. there are cases in which the fetus could conceivably survive out of the womb and its birth wouldn't endanger the mother any more than childbirth usually does, but those cases aren't any less justified because let's look at the reasons why women might get abortions.

(trigger warning: rape mention ahead.)

but first let's look at why transgender people with uteri specifically would get them. gender dysphoria, in addition to the nine months of hormonal hell pregnant people go through, would be like... double hell. passing purposes for trans people who cannot let people around them know they're trans (usually for work and things like that) are also of importance as if you see a pregnant man that challenges the social norms instilled in most of society and because of misogyny and transphobia might alter the way you communicate with that person on an even larger scale degree than just everyday misogyny that alters people's interactions with pregnant cis women versus non pregnant cis women.

anyway, there are other reasons that affect both cis women and dfab trans people. there is rape, of course. sad as it is, it's a common fact of our society. people with vaginas frequently get raped; 1 in 6 I'm pretty sure is the statistic. and rapists aren't usually known for condom usage. also pedophilia which constitutes rape. many children become pregnant from rape and anyone with an ounce of compassion and logic knows it's wrong to force a literal child to carry a baby to term. there are also abusive cases in which pregnancy in unhealthy relationships can occur, and some women may get abortions for their own safety. also, specifically in china, there are women who will get abortions to comply with the child limit laws, or to abort female fetuses to avoid their husbands either killing or abandoning them because that shit happens a lot and it's fucking toxic masculinity "I need a son to carry on my legacy and not a weak woman that won't" misogynist bullshit. and there are women with careers who literally don't have time to be parents as well, and if they do then they have to balance commitment to their work and their baby and that's unfair to both the parent and child, and they're forced to make this concession because god forbid the father steps up and parents the child he helped fucking make; the world won't easily let women have children and careers because "a woman's place is at home with the family in the kitchen making dinner" tradwife bullshit.

all of those are bad things but I'm not gonna be discussing them in this post.

everything up until now has been based on facts and evident social trends. from here on out it's all speculation.

I think the pro life movement is so much more insidious than just misogyny. sure, that's there. some people feel that women only exist to get pregnant and give birth to predominantly sons because they're degenerate redneck filth who hate females. however, analyzing everything else that's part of it, it feels a whole lot worse. let's run through every point I've made so far:

bodily autonomy

medical safety

preventing death

gender dysphoria

rape victims

pedophilia victims

abusive relationships

chinese women's safety

women's career importance

now, that paints an interesting picture. it's all rights and safety for women, minorities, and victims of sex crime. somehow that's just not enough to sway people from thinking "maybe there are good reasons for abortion and we're being assholes screaming at and physically assaulting and killing people who take part". somehow they're still parroting "abortion is murder" like they don't think for themselves.

they don't care about women having rights to a career or bodily autonomy, especially sexual, regardless of their age, even if it includes their very life... & they don't care about trans people.

and that shit invaded the weirdest spaces. fanfiction dot net circa the late 2000s was chock full of girls with profile descriptions with anti abortion copypasta. but why? how on earth did that get into a community predominantly composed of young impressionable teenage girls? ...oh wait a minute.

let's also take into account the juxtaposition of slut shaming, sexual objectification, a total lack of male willingness to use condoms, and rape, as well as everything in that bulleted list.

it really feels to me like pro lifers desire to live in a world where babies born with vaginas solely exist to become sexual objects the moment they become sexually appealing (which can be at any age honestly from a pedophile's POV), but not because they desire to (since they'll be labeled sluts) but because a man desires to fulfill his sexual desires (double standard), whether she wants him to or not, and when she gets pregnant she's locked into a relationship no matter how old she is (like the hundreds of pentecostal forced marriages at 11 years old, for example) and no matter whether it's healthy as long as the Man™ gets his son and his hot dinner at 5pm like it's fucking 1953 (because god forbid the woman be the breadwinner or even leave the house to do anything but shop for groceries, let alone vote, amirite), and if she dies during childbirth, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ oh well, the heartbroken man suffering from Manpain™ will just pick up another lady off the street at half his age who will cure his broken heart with her vagina and replace the last one, since women are apparently inherently replaceable; and if a wife gives birth to a daughter, hey, she'll be a carnation, pure and sweet until she becomes sexually appealing and starts the process all over again. also everybody is cis and straight. and also white, neurotypical, able bodied, rich from hard work and daddy's money, oh yeah and christian, but not the protestant heathens, I mean the catholics who are the only ones who won't go to hell. everything exists to serve the man.

okay wow so it's not just basic misogyny. it's the systematic patriarchal eurocentric values.

the pro life movement is just a small subset of all of the other things wrong with the world.

"but sheena you can't say that pro lifers are all misogynist, transphobic, racist, queerphobic, ableist, classist, rife with religious intolerance, anti feminist, and otherwise harmful in other ways! it's an stereotypical overgeneralization!"

show me one fucking pro lifer who isn't at least half of those. show me one. I only wanna see one. I just wanna see one pro lifer who isn't bigoted towards any demographic of people. prove me wrong and show me ONE. please.

you can't. they're all mouth breathers incapable of singular conscious thought outside of a hive mind of facebook memes and post-evangelical moral superiority and smug condescension and an obsession with the 1950s. they're physically incapable of individualism, intelligent thought, and basic empathy skills. I know this because I WAS ONE OF THEM. THAT'S HOW THEY ARE.

there may be some deviations here and there but we all know the dangers of "#not all _____".

so fuck the pro life movement and fuck you if you're pro life. you're pro death penalty and pro military and pro cops and pro letting homeless people starve and pro letting people die from preventable causes because of lack of access to healthcare and pro letting women die from childbirth because ~abortion is bad~.

you're not pro life.

you're just anti choice.

and anti woman.

(and anti trans because you all use exclusively cisnormative language to the point that I used it while speaking on the subject).

so go ahead and send more money to trump to save unborn babies. he'll spend that money on bombing the middle east and building a racism wall.

you care more about white fetuses than about brown skinned people in general including their babies. your ignorant hatred is transparent.

because you're not pro life.

above all else,

if anything,

you're fucking pro death.

[daqtranscripts]

DAQ Ep. 0 Transcription

Ep. 0 Transcript: Setup and Table Talk.

Begin:

Opening theme:

This show is part of the trans podcaster visibility initiative.

[THEME MUSIC — WRITTEN FOR THE SHOW BY SOPHIE]

Sophie: Hello everybody and welcome to Dungeons and Queers, where the stats are made up and the rolls don’t matter. The gender rolls!

[LAUGHTER]

Credence: Ooohhh boy.

Mara: Christ, alrighty.

Sophie: That’s the kind of show this is gonna be.

Credence: Oh God, what have I done.

Joe: I'm already stoked, bring out the puns.

Sophie: Welcome everyone. To Episode... I was gonna call this the first episode but it’s kind of Episode 0, as it will be indicated. Because our story isn’t actually starting in this episode. This is gonna be a lot of table talk about our characters and a little bit about the setting, but we’re not gonna get too much into that until the first episode because we're kinda just playing in the standard classic D&D world. There's no big “Oohh well there’s airships and there’s zeppelins!” There’s not as much to cover about the setting. But I wanted to get into some stuff about kind of who our characters were and that way we're not sitting there running around going, “Wait a second, who’s that person whose name starts with ‘L’? Which player is that?” You know, junk like that. So I think we’re gonna go around and introduce ourselves and introduce our characters. I’ll go first. Because, uh... That’s my sentence I guess, it’s my privilege.

Mara: I was gonna say, if you’re not going first, we’re fucked.

Sophie: Yeah. Yeah. My name is Sophie. Sophie Lastnameredacted. I am the person who is going to be running the Twitter and doing the editing for this. And doing some transcripts for d/Deaf and hard of hearing people. And doing a bunch of other post-production work for this. I write music for the show. It’s kind of my baby. I also do the PolyAM Radio podcast where we talk about polyamory and unconventional relationship styles and advice for them. A young queer/trans approach to polyamory is kinda what we take and we’re pretty good we have been doing that for a few months now and we thought we would start a D&D let’s play/real play, whatever you call it, podcast. You know kind of like PolyAM Radio we wanted it to be explicitly queer and explicitly trans because there’s a million D&D podcasts out there, but whenever I start a new D&D podcast I always have to worry about “Oh is there going to be some transphobic joke? Is there going to be good representation? Probably not.” You know so I figured by doing it this way and being like, “Yo we’re queer as fuck—”

Mara: Right from the get go!

Sophie: Yeah, right from the get go, not only would we attract a very specific audience, but would also maybe set some people at ease and uh just be kinda upfront about where our experiences lie. Everyone on this podcast is trans and we’ll get into that. I think I already said it but my pronouns are she/her/hers, again my name is Sophie Lastnameredacted, if you want to get in contact with me you can send a Tweet or an email to the PolyAM Radio Twitter, which is on the cover art for that podcast, or the Dungeons and Queers Twitter @DAQcast, and I also just wanna mention if you want to get an NPC named after you on the show, Tweet about the show using the #dungeonsandqueers, just spell it out all like that, and you might get a character, an NPC, named after you. And I’m looking for NPCs… I have NPCs in my head that I want to name so help us out with that because we don’t have the money to pay for advertising and I think this is a fun way of doing it. So yeah, I don’t have a specific character to talk about since I’m going to be playing a million NPCs and I’ve crafted the world we’re going to be playing in here, but I’m very excited about it, and for the purposes of this game, I am God.

[LAUGHTER]

Mara: “My name is Sophie and I’ll be playing the role of god.” [CHUCKLING]

Sophie: Yeah.

Joe: Finally!

Mara: “I am the LORD, your God,”

Sophie: [AS GRIFFIN MCELROY] “My wife!”

Credence: “No one may roll the dice but through me!”

Sophe: Probably someone is going to listen to that and think it’s a Borat joke, but in fact, it was a My Brother, My Brother and Me joke… It just becomes self-referencial for them

Mara: Like the Chilean miners. [LAUGHING]

Sophie: Yeah, I’m gonna edit all this out…

[LAUGHING]

Credence: Okay but my joke was really good! I wasn’t stealing that one, I’ll have you know.

[LAUGHING]

Sophie: So! Let’s move on, who wants to go next?

Joe: Okay me! I’m Joe Alias, I will be playing the character of Defiance. My pronouns are they/them/theirs, Defiance’s pronouns are they/she. Defiance is a cleric, a Tiefling cleric, which...that goes together well.

[MUFFLED CHUCKLING]

Sophie: Well, and talk about the prestige class you’re planning on going for when you get there!

Joe: Well I’m gonna be a war cleric, so...I guess I’m not sure what else to say about that.

Credence: How much— Er, Sophie, how much do you want us to talk about our backstory, kind of personality of our characters, like, to you want us to get into that right now or would you like us to wait until we start playing because I agree with Joe, I’m not sure how much you want us to say…

Sophie: I think we can leave most of the backstory, talk about maybe alignment not that we’re going to be adhering to it super-strictly, I think that all characters can be pushed to do certain things under certain circumstances. For those of you who read the Star Wars expanded universe books there’s literally a book in which Darth Vader stops Emperor Palpatine from killing a bunch of Twi’lek orphans and shit like that, and so like even your classic Lawful Evil character or something like that can do all sorts of actions. But I think it’s important for people to know at least, or maybe not important but it’s trivia they expect to hear and I don’t want to disappoint in that way. So talk about alignment and then talk a little bit about their personality and maybe just like very trivial things about their backstory because I didn’t want you all to know anything about each other’s characters while you were making your own but I think it’s kind of time to shed light on some of that. But if there’s any big things you want to keep as twists for the character, especially if you’ve already told me and we’ve talked about it, then you can omit that information here, stuff that’s plot interesting, but things that are just like “Oh, that’s just about my character” and stuff like that I think would be cool to have the audience hear and to have you all hear.

Credence: So, should we note here, like, you wanted us to meet our characters for the first time this isn’t one of those setups where we’ve done a bunch of odd jobs together and stuff, so…?

Sophie: Yeah this isn’t a pre-existing team, these characters don’t know each other yet and they’ll meet pretty much right away during the first episode.

Credence: Right, so we’re not showing our whole hand as far as who our characters are in part because it’s going to be narratively interesting for us to get to know each other’s characters and background and all that.

Sophie: Yeah, yeah exactly. Okay! So why don’t you tell us a little more about Defiance?

Joe: So you said I should start kinda with what they look like?

Sophie: Yeah, talk about what they look like, talk about their alignment, talk about a little bit about their backstory, you know in this case your character has a reason behind their name maybe you wanna talk about why their name is ‘Defiance’?

Joe: Sure sure, okay so like I said Defiance is a Tiefling cleric and they’re Chaotic Good, which I thought that was maybe a fun and challenging thing to play, considering the fact that they follow the Triad, which, for those of you that maybe don’t know, is the union or alliance of gods Tyr, Torm, and Ilmater who, two out of three of them are Lawful Good war deities, so that’s always fun. But part of the reason why Defiance follows those three gods is just because they actually grew up in a diabolic cult to Zariel, who is one of the archdukes of hell.

Credence: As you do.~

Joe: Yeah, you know. And so they kinda grew up in this very Spartan-esque sort of culture. When Defiance was a teenager, they had done very well in their training so far and was kinda given their own small group of, basically, stolen children to mold into their own small little war band and Defiance kind of realized the hell that they were put through as a young child, they were about to be expected to do that to these children and Defiance refused. It just seemed wrong. So they kinda got thrown in the brig for that. And at about the same time kinda as a rescue mission sorta thing a small army from outlying villages led by a priest of Tyr came and kinda ransacked the place so Defiance decided...well, was very impressed by this, and decided to join him and learn from him ‘cause everything they kinda grew up to believe just didn’t jive, so Defiance decided that that act of disobedience, that act of doing what they felt was right despite everything they had been taught growing up, was kinda their defining life moment and chose the name Defiance instead of the one that they were given and went and learned about the gods and selflessness and service, that sort of thing...while utilizing the fighting, the soldiery, that they learned before, but adapted it to actually help people...so yeah.

Mara: Shit yeah, they sound pretty cool!

Joe: Yeah!

Sophie: Yeah that’s a baller character.

Joe: Oh thanks!

Sophie: I know that despite the fact that you picked a cleric you had some reservations about playing a cleric just because of past experiences you had with asshole DMs being like, “Well that’s not how you play a cleric!”

Joe: Oh hell, I could go on and on and on about that. This is actually… So the second character I ever played in my whole D&D career was a cleric, but I didn’t play it to that DM’s specifications and that person, and they actually told me, my partner by the way, who was the DM, told me, “Never play a cleric again.” So about 13 years later here I am, trying out a cleric again.

Credence: And you’ve literally named them Defiance! So…!

[LAUGHTER]

Joe: Oh I didn’t even think about it that way!

Mara: How’s that for symbolism?

Joe: So I’m excited.

Sophie: Right, so I just I thought it was really interesting ‘cause when you came to me and said, “I think I’m going to play a war cleric,” the character that I envisioned in that moment was very different from the one that you just pitched, and I like yours way better. Because I was thinking, as I think I told you the other day, “Oh, like an army priest,” like a fire-and-brimstone kind of…

Joe: Right.

Sophie: It’s just very much not what that character is, and frankly, I think you’ve come up with something a lot more interesting.

Joe: Well see I hope I can give the character concept some justice at the very least just ‘cause I decided I wanted to play a cleric and it had been a long time since I had played a cleric and sometimes it’s difficult, the idea, well, for me, getting the idea of being good and...war, I suppose…and trying to figure out how those two could possibly work.

Sophie: Well and I think that’s a character, pardon me, I think that’s a conundrum not just for you, the player, but probably for Defiance, the character. That’s going to be, I mean I think most good D&D characters have some sort of question that they’re trying to answer about themselves as they get played. I think that that’s an excellent question and I don’t necessarily know that it’ll get answered. I think that probably Defiance will come up with an answer but probably not a definitive one that everyone will be happy with and I think that that’s just the nature of the question.

Mara: That’s how it go!

Sophie: Yeah, people don’t think it be like that—

Sophie and Mara: —But it do!

Joe: But it do.

Sophie: Okay! Is there anything else you wanted to say about Defiance or should we move on?

Joe: Uh just as a brief description — Defiance is kinda of average human height, purple skin kind of, like, indigo hair, red eyes, all that fun stuff.

Sophie: Horns and tail or no?

Joe: Yeah horns and tail, the horns are kinda like cool ram horns.

Credence: Nice.

Joe: All the better to headbutt people with!

[ASSORTED LAUGHTER]

Sophie: I could die happy feeling like I actually achieved something in my life if, at some point, we get some fanart made.

[EVERYONE AGREEING/CROSSTALK]

Credence: Don’t jump the gun!

Sophie: No no, I know, I’m just saying if someday some fan artist comes to us and says like, “I made this!” I’m going to have a literal aneurysm over it! I’m not going to be able to handle it because it’ll be like, “This is too wonderful!”

Mara: Affirmation!

Sophie: Yeah yeah!

Credence: Which, for me, I guess I would also wanna say that I encourage folks to...yeah I might imagine my character looking like this, but like, go at it! Half the fun of this audio medium is you can decide what these characters look like yourself. I mean like, obviously, Joe, you’re going to play Defiance in a way where this is how you imagine what they look like, but I always think it’s really cool that in this kind of medium, you, as a listener, get to decide what you envision these characters to look like.

Sophie: Yeah absolutely. And I’ll be very upfront this: there are going to be, in this world, some Easter eggs. Probably not things that I’ll put right out there, things that, if you get lucky and ask the right question, you’ll find out that are nods to TAZ, The Adventure Zone, which is, in my opinion, probably the greatest tabletop roleplaying podcast out there, it’s the one that got me into not only podcasts, but tabletop roleplaying games, and I think their attitude toward their characters is excellent, which is basically that “We came up with these characters, we don’t own these characters. They belong as much to the fans as anything.” So you know, we’re a bunch of white folks and Joe, you see Defiance as purple but if you hear to this podcast and say, “Well, I think Defiance is Latinx,” you’re not wrong, that’s not… We’re not gonna be like, “But the character looks this way!” I think it’s awesome that you’re taking this character and giving it a life of its own beyond our, you know, shitty podcast.

Joe: Yeah hell yeah, like I just give my description of how I see Defiance in my head. Like if you, person listening to this, have a different idea of what they look like, like, please, please do, go wild!

Credence: Yeah like honestly, if we get fans, I will throw all of my character at you and be like, “It’s yours! Have her! Please make her beautiful!”

[ALL AGREEING]

Joe: Ram horns though.

[ALL LAUGHING AND AGREEING]

Sophie: It’s like Magnus’ sideburns, there are some things that are just inalienable.

Credence: Some integral features.

Sophie: Yeah, so who wants to go next?

Mara: I will go next! Hello hello, dear listeners, this is Mara Fakelastname, I use they/them/their pronouns, you probably know me from PolyAM Radio, you might not, but if you want to go check that out, I’m a frequent co-host and I think it’s pretty great. I am going to be playing a gnome bard and this is only my second D&D campaign ever. I got into D&D not entirely through my own choice! I was listening to The Adventure Zone with Sophie and I was like, “Oh, I don’t think it’s for me, I’m not really good at roleplaying stuff,” etc., etc., and I was at a local hobby store with her and she was looking at dice and I saw a set of dice that were pink and black and I was like, “Oh fuck yeah, I wish I was playing because, like, pink and black dice!” and Sophie was like, “Well, if I buy you the dice will you play?” and that’s how I started playing D&D.

[ASSORTED LAUGHTER]

Sophie: You made it sound like I coerced you into it!

Mara: Yeah, right?

Sophie: My exact words were, “Well, I’ll buy you the dice if you want them, but if you’re gonna have dice, you gotta play the game.”

Mara: Yeah so it was [LAUGHING] so it just wasn’t entirely my own idea.

Credence: In true rogue or bard fashion, you were seduced by pretty things.

Mara: Yup! Yeah, and I think that’s like, 98% of the characters I’ve played so far…! Um, so, in this campaign, I am playing a gnome bard, whose full name is Ellywick Faelover Wandfidget the Ambiguous, um, but we’re probably, for ease of mouth, just gonna call them Ellywick. They use they/them pronouns. And—

Joe: If you don’t use that big, beautiful name at least a couple times, I’m gonna be a little disappointed.

Mara: Oh, God, yeah! It’s definitely gonna be like...name drop. Because… For people who are very into the lore, gnomes are very into names, and so to get a little into their background but not too far, ‘the Ambiguous,’ they’re a very androgynous character. Feel free to imagine them however you want, because I kind of suck at imagining characters. But the ‘Faelover’ part, they spent a lot of time with the fae. And, uh, it was funny, because when I was talking to Sophie about this name choice initially, she was like, “Oh, well that’s really interesting that they chose to call themself ‘Faelover,’ because, like, all gnomes love the fae, so they must really love the fae,” and I was like, “Oh, yeah!” And then it kind of hit me, I was like, “Oh, we could make them a bit of a ~dirty boi,~ like, go with Faelover, like, hohoho, they fucked some fae in their time.~” So that’s where that comes from.

[SNICKERING]

Joe: Like you do!

Mara: Ellywick is a very, like, will-try-to-seduce-anything-that-moves type of character. So that’s gonna be interesting and funny. They’re overall just very hedonistic and capricious, I think their whole kind of desire for travel is like, they wanna bring creativity into the world, and they wanna see what other people are out there doing, you know. They’re very...whimsical, I guess would be how I would put that. [clicks tongue] Oh… What else to say about Ellywick…

Sophie: Could do ideal/bond/flaw? I’d have to go back and make Joe say Defiance’s, but...

Mara: Well, I don’t wanna talk about their bond, because that gets into the story.

Sophie: Okay!

Mara: Um…

Credence: What about their alignment?

Mara: Oh yes! Yeah! They’re… They are Chaotic Neutral, because I think that just kind of is what fits them personally best. They’re just kinda...seein’ what’s out there and doin’ what they do. Doin’ who they do. [LAUGHING]

[SNICKERING]

Sophie: Like they do!

Mara: Like they do! Um… But…

Sophie: Every DM… Everyone who’s ever DMed out there just, like, took a moment of silence for me because there’s not only a Chaotic Neutral in the party but there’s a fucking bard, which...both of those are just game-breakers.

Mara: Well, I just…! I can’t help it! I don’t like a lot of the archetypal characters. That’s just not my particular cup of tea? But, so, I’m gonna have fun playing my bard. Their ideal… I kind of already said it, but they want to release more creativity and bold action into the world. And their flaw: they are a sucker for a pretty face. Like, I think anybody could make googly eyes at them and they would be like, “OOOKAAAAYY~!” So that’s...that’s kind of Ellywick’s flaw.

Sophie: I think we can talk about bond, I just need to say one thing about the setting quick. Basically, how this story is gonna be starting is that, um… Some of the main characters — some of the player characters are going to have been captured in an orc raid and are at an orc, like, prison camp type thing. And that’s where their story finds them. Um… So, do you wanna talk about your bond?

Mara: Yeah! Um, so, as a bard, Ellywick plays a lot of instruments. They’re an instrumentalist and a singer, and they were only able to conceal their pan flute on them, but they also play the lute as well, which was given to them by the fairy queen Titania as kind of a “wow, you fuck good” kind of a gift...

Joe: NICE!

Mara: [LAUGHING] So this lute was stolen from them, and obviously this lute means a lot to them, so… Their whole bond is “I’m gonna get that fuckin’ lute back if it’s the last thing I do!” And I think I just, you know...dropped us into the “explicit” tag area… [CHUCKLING] Sorry!

Sophie: Oh, we were gonna be there anyways. And I think I wanna emphasize for all of you, that’s not something that needs to or even is going to be possible to have happen in this arc. The first arc is titled ‘Alpine Escape.’ And y’all will have to make a quick exit or things will get bad very quickly. And you can choose to hang around, but I’ll be honest, it’s going to get bad very quickly if you do. So, you know, your bonds and stuff like that are things I’m using to drive the story forward for later arcs and stuff like that. So for what that’s worth… Uh, uh… I’m sitting here, like… Defiance, no. That’s not right. Joe, tell me about Defiance’s, um… Like, ideal/bond/flaw.

Joe: Um… Well, I-I did take the acolyte background just ‘cause I, uh… It seemed like it kinda, more or less, fit the best. Well, their ideal is charity — “I always try to help those in need, no matter what the personal cost,” um… Their bond is, um, “Everything I do is for the common people,” which, I actually had a really hard time choosing between that one and, um, there was one other one that says something like, “I owe my life to somebody who saved me after my parents died or something like that,” which is sort of true, but not quite. And flaw — “I am suspicious of strangers and expect the worst of them,” which, uh, it seems a little bit misanthropic or something, but part of it just has to do with the fact that they’re a Tiefling and they tend to, uh, be outcasts anyway, and it’s kinda owing partially to having grown up in the kind of culture where everybody’s out to get everyone else kind of literally, just to prove some sort of dominance, has left that kind of mark on Defiance. So even though they try their best, they’re still...they have trust issues.

Credence: I think that’s fair.

Sophie: Yeah, I like that. Uh, Credence, why don’t you tell us about Lazza.

Credence: Alright! Well, my name is Credence. Or, uh...Credence...it has nothing to do with Clearwater Revival. Um… Yeah, I get that a lot. And my pronouns are he/him or they/them, ah… If you have listened to the episode of PolyAM Radio about long-distance relationships, I was a guest host on that with Sophie, so um, if you’ve, like… “I recognize that queer-ass voice!” That’s where you recognize me from. Um, and I’ve played D&D a lot while I was growing up, this is the first time I’ve swung back into it in over...probably, mm...seven years? So this is gonna be interesting. And then I will be playing the character Lazza. She is a half-orc barbarian. And her alignment is actually Lawful Neutral, which, um...I will try to justify even though, yup, half-orc barbarian. Um, and her class focus as a barbarian is ancestral guardian, and that’s where a lot of her, um, kind of character development and impetus is generated from. So the ancestral guardian path allows her to have a unique connection with her, like, um, her...clan. Like the ancestors of her clan. And she can praise to them, and they can give her guidance, and that’ll provide some pretty cool features later on in the game, but it also just informs who she is. So, like, as her bond — her biggest bond are her ancestors and that is also tied up with her ideal, which is to — she wishes to live in honor of her ancestors as a proud and honorable warrior, so she’s interested in keeping her ancestors happy with the path that she is walking down. Um… Her other bond would be her father, and she’s never actually met her clan, but as I guess I’ll get into in the story, as that unfolds, but in the abstract, she has a bond with her clan whom she is still trying to find. Her flaws, um… Like, her major flaw, is that she’s kind of afraid to be alone, and obviously, she’s kinda got a tough exterior, so she doesn’t let that show very often, but it does make her, um...it does make her not always listen to what she knows is her truth as far as what her ancestors are encouraging her to do and how to be an honorable warrior, which is, like… Pretty evident based on where she starts off the game, as far as, um...the, um… Sophie, did you mention that they’re all trapped in a raiding, an orc raiding party?

[CHORUS OF CONFIRMATIONS FROM ALL OTHER MEMBERS]

Credence: Okay! So yeah! At the beginning of the game, Lazza is actually in this orc raiding party, and because of her fear of being alone and stuff, she ended up getting in with a bad crowd, so yeah. That’ll be interesting. Her other flaw is that she is incredible superstitious.

Mara: YES.

[LAUGHTER]

Credence: So, it’s to the point where she, like, she will not sleep within ten feet of a magical object, all wizards are tricksters and not to be trusted, if an elf looks you in the eye they’re trying to read your mind, never listen to a bard’s song all the way through because it will bewitch you into dancing yourself to death…

Mara: Shit!

Joe: Uh-oh…!

Credence: Yeah.

Mara: They’re gonna have a hard time getting healed.

[LAUGHTER]

Credence: We’ll see. Yeah, she’s definitely a… She has spent a lot of time in isolation, and so she hasn’t met a lot of different people, and she’s kind of grown up listening to all these stories about, like, how… Y’know, gnomes will try to steal your teeth in the night…

Mara: [LAUGHING]

Credence: So she’s got all these superstitions and she doesn’t have a lot of access to the outside world just yet. So she’s still trying to work through that. So she’s gonna be a little suspicious and superstitious of...about the party and others.

Mara: Especially Ellywick, god damn!

Joe: Uh-oh…

Credence: Yeah, especially…

Joe: It’s gonna take some time…

Credence: Her dynamic with Ellywick is gonna be very, very interesting.

Mara: Watch your teeth… [CACKLING]

Joe: Aw, jeez…

Credence: Well, and she’s very protective of her tusks, because she has very nice lower lip tusks that she takes good care of. She puts rings on ‘em.

Joe: What? Really?

Credence: Yeah!

Joe: Neat!

Credence: She really likes her tusks, and the only—

Sophie: No, not really, Joe, this is a fantasy world and you’re already lost?

Joe: No, I just… I never even thought of that! That’s pretty boss! Like, where does the story end and reality begin? Ahhh!

Credence: Too deep! But yeah, the only other thing I guess I’ll say about Lazza’s appearance is that, um, she keeps two different totems on her at all times. She, like, wears the feathers of a roc that her father slayed — rocs are like these ginormous eagles in the canon of the Dungeons & Dragons world — so she keeps those feathers in her hair as a remembrance of him, and then she always has a little pouch filled with three different semi-precious stones that she uses to commune with her ancestors. And then...yeah! That’s all I got!

Sophie: Okay! I love it! Um, we’re probably gonna call this “Episode 0” here, and we will… Basically how this is going to work is we’re gonna record a couple episodes today, and then at the very least, Episode 0 and Episode 1, which should be dropping at the same time, but we’re gonna take a break to stretch quick and wipe the Cheeto dust off our faces—

Mara: [LAUGHING]

Joe: YOU GOT ANY MOUNTAIN DEW?!

Sophie: Yeah, and do some other necessities. But we will be right back, and you can listen to the beginning of our story in the next episode, so thanks!

[OUTRO MUSIC]