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until-theend-oftheline · 5 years ago

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Two Hearts as One

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: Explicit Sex, language, Dorks in love.

Squares Filled: Movie Night for @marvelfluffbingo

Word Count: 2800ish

A/N: This is part of my LLL universe - it takes place in December 2011 and Y/N and Seb just started dating. It can also be read as a one-shot just as always.

Betaed by: @ifyougetkilled-walk-it-off - thank you, sis

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

You and Sebastian had gone out several times since the two of you had finally admitted how you felt. You had been ice skating, to a Christmas market, he had asked you over to help him decorate his place, and last Friday he had taken you to see a movie. This was your first movie night at your place since he had kissed you at his place two weeks ago.

You were nervous as you looked in the mirror. You were wearing a deep blue lace bra with matching panties. You had showered using your favorite shower gel, cream, and shampoo. You had shaved every inch of your body even if you knew deep down it wouldn’t matter to Sebastian. You had curled your hair, letting it hang loose down the silk robe you were currently trying to decide if you wanted to tie or not.

After tying and untying it a few times you decided it was best to have it closed. You didn’t want to overwhelm him or seem pushy. Or have one of your neighbors spot you in next to nothing when you opened the door for him for that matter.

Your heart skipped a beat as your door phone rang and you gave yourself one last look in the mirror. The light make-up you were wearing framed your face perfectly and brought out your eyes. Your skin felt smooth and you felt amazing about yourself. You pictured the way Sebastian would look at you when he saw you and your smile widened as your confidence grew.

You rushed barefoot down the stairs, clicking the mic on the door phone, greeting him.

“Come on up, Seba,” you spoke, not waiting for him to say anything and smiled when he teased you for it.

“What if you just let in a burglar, darlin’. Might wanna wait for a guy to say hello,” Sebastian’s voice sounded through the speakers.

“Well, I haven’t opened the second door yet, so leave him out there would ya,” you giggled, causing Sebastian to laugh as you heard the door close behind him and you knew he was on his way up.

Normally, you would have opened the door, before Sebastian had a chance to knock, but given what you were wearing, or weren’t wearing, today you waited.

“It’s just me, Y/N/N. Burglar is sulking on the sidewalk, you can open the door,” Sebastian played as he knocked your front door.

You took a deep breath, running your hands down your robe before opening the door, showing yourself to him.

Sebastian’s mouth dried up when he saw you. He sure as hell hadn’t expected the sight that met him. You were absolutely breathtaking. You always were of course, but the amount of skin you were showing almost gave him a heart attack.

“Fuck,” Sebastian muttered, still standing frozen outside the door.

His eyes traveled your body before meeting yours, and you couldn’t help but giggle. The way he looked at you made your confidence soar, as you reached out grabbing his hand and pulling him inside.

“Come on in. I can’t keep the door open all day dressed like this,” you laughed, which seemed to unfreeze your boyfriend.

The door hadn't even closed behind the two of you before his hands were on you. He gripped your hips, pulling you into him and his lips crashed against yours. He kissed you like you were oxygen and he was a man suffocating.

You were heaving for breath when Sebastian finally broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against yours. He looked deeply into your eyes, as his hands gave your hips a small squeeze.

“I take it you’re not in the mood for a movie then?” Sebastian tried to tease, as he swallowed thickly.

You reached up running your hands through his hair, smiling when he momentarily closed his eyes enjoying your touch.

“Maybe later,” you smiled, feeling your heartbeat pick up. Suddenly a wave of doubt crashed down on you. You didn’t usually do this sort of thing. You and Sebastian hadn’t had sex yet. Well, at least not in the past year. Not since the night, you had first met and before he had become your best friend. You had come on strong but the last thing you wanted was to push him into something he wasn’t ready for.

“I mean, we can watch one now… if you don’t want too….”

Sebastian smiled when you started rambling. He loved how easily you could switch between this confident sexy woman into a cute rambling mess and back again in a matter of seconds. He loved how you had thought of him getting ready, but all of a sudden was scared you were pushing him to move faster than he wanted. You weren’t. He had wanted this for a long time, so instead of answering, he let his hands slide down to your thighs, lifting you into the air.

He laughed as you squealed in surprise, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist. He backed you against the wall, kissing you deeply before you could say anything. The dazed look in your eyes, when he pulled back to let you both breathe, made his already hardening cock jump in his pants. He’d never seen a woman as gorgeous as you, and knowing the effect he had on you was absolutely intoxicating.

“I want you. I want this. Us. So badly,” Sebastian confessed, groaning as your fingers dug into his shoulders with your words.

“Take me upstairs, Seba,” you pleaded, wanting, needing his hands all over you. You wanted to feel him and for him to feel you. You never loved anyone as deeply and truly as you loved Sebastian and you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him again and again as he walked you up the stairs.

“Careful. Can’t see,” Sebastian laughed as he stumbled against the wall as he reached the top of the stairs. You laughed with him clinging to him, as you buried your face against his neck.

“Don’t fall on me again,” you teased, playfully biting his neck as he walked through the door to your bedroom. You screamed in surprise as Sebastian suddenly tossed you onto the bed, causing you to bounce a few times on the mattress as he laughed at you.

“Seb!” you scolded trying to keep the smile off your face, but you were sure you failed. It was very hard not to smile when a man that handsome was looking down at you as if you were his entire world. And was ridding himself of his jacket and shirts at the same time.

“That’s what you get for being a smartass,” Sebastian winked at you, kicking off his shoes before crawling onto the bed, hovering over you with a smirk on his face.

You ran your hands down his chest, around his sides, and up his back, attempting to draw him closer to you. Sebastian did as you silently begged, leaning down to kiss you. You stayed like that for ages. Just kissing and letting your hands wander without rushing for more. You could barely breathe from how good he made you feel a simple touch and his kiss. You knew he was good, but this was different. This wasn’t just about sex. It was about deepening your connection with him. It was to show him how deeply you loved him and have him show you the same in return.

After almost half an hour making out with you Sebastian couldn’t wait any longer. He wanted to take his time; to make you feel special and to show you how much he loved you. He slowly untied your robe, letting his hands gently caress your skin as he pulled back looking deeply into your eyes.

“I love you, Y/N/N,” Sebastian whispered, before ducking down to kiss your neck, down the valley of your breasts, gently squeezing and them as he moved his lips down your stomach.

“Seba…” you gasped when he pressed a kiss against your panties, gently hooking his fingers into the waistband. He looked up at you with a smirk on his face, but you knew he was also asking for permission. Just like you hadn’t wanted to push him, he was giving you an out. Just like he had over and over again that night so long ago. Sebastian was a good man and you knew without a shadow of a doubt one word would always make him stop no matter what.

“Please,” you begged. “Seba, I need you.”

That was all the permission he needed and Sebastian slowly slid the panties down your legs. He shoved them into his back pocket with a wicked grin on his face, causing you to laugh and give his shoulder a push with your barefoot.

“Perv,” you teased, giggling as he gripped your ankle holding your foot against him as he began kissing his way down your leg.

“Only for you,” he winked, looking up at you as he reached his goal. His hot breath fanned over your cunt.

You gasped as he flattened his tongue running it over your lips. The knot in your stomach tightened as he continued his ministrations eating you out like a man starving, never once taking his eyes off you.

The look in his eyes, dark with lust but so filled with emotions, love and adoration only added to your high. No man had ever looked at you like that and most certainly not when buried between your legs.

Sebastian’s jeans felt uncomfortably tight as he watched you writhe and gasp beneath him. He didn’t care though. This wasn’t about him. It was about you. He wanted nothing more than to make you feel good; amazing.

You screamed his name in ecstasy, trashing and gripping his hair as he pushed first one, then two fingers inside you, working your clit with his tongue. Your pleasure built and built until you couldn’t take it any longer. Your orgasm ripped through your body and white light blinded your vision.

Sebastian kept his fingers inside you gently working you through your high as he kissed his way back up your body until he reached your lips. You moaned softly against his kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck pulling him impossibly closer.

Your body ached for him even harder than ever as you came down from your high. You needed to feel him. You ran your hands around his shoulders, down his chest, smiling as you felt his abs flex beneath your touch.

“Off,” you mumbled against his lips as your hands started pulling at his belt, causing Sebastian to pull back with a laugh.

“Still bossy huh?” Sebastian teased you as he gently removed his fingers from your cunt. You groaned half from the sudden emptiness you were feeling and half from his teasing.

Sebastian only smiled, looking down at you. You were beautiful lying there on the bed in your bra, your robe half off and your hair a mess, glowing from your recent orgasm and eyes hungry for more as you watched him.

He quickly undid his pants pushing them off along with his boxers and shorts. His cock jumped as you sat up reaching behind you, undoing your bra before tossing it onto the floor to join the rest of your clothes along with your robe.

“Sweetheart...” Sebastian’s voice was hoarse as he watched you move to sit on the edge of the bed. You moved to sit directly in front of him on your knees.

You just smiled up at him, running your hands up his thighs as you leaning in kissing his cock. It proudly jumped under your lips and you grinned up at him as you gently took him into your hand.

“Honey you don’t have too….” Sebastian started, closing his eyes from pleasure as you ran your tongue from the root to the tip of his cock before gently pulling back his foreskin.

“I want, too. Let me?” You asked, looking up into his eyes and Sebastian gently cupped your face.

He ran his thumb over your lips before he nodded and you smiled. You kept looking up at him as you flattened your tongue, running it up his cock a few times before taking him into your mouth. You sucked, causing Sebastian to gasp and his muscles to flex, struggling to keep still.

The loving way you looked up at him along with the pleasure you brought him as you alternated between slowly bobbing your head up and down and sucking. It wasn’t until you released his cock with a wet pop, running your tongue over the slit his legs buckled and he almost blew his load right then and there.

“Fuck! Jeez Y/N. You can’t do that if you don’t want to have to wash your hair,” Sebastian groaned, causing you to laugh.

You lifted yourself up onto your knees. You wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Charming, Seba,” you giggled as he groaned and pulled you tightly against him.

The feeling of your soft skin and curves against his, did nothing to slow down the beat of his heart but he also didn’t care. He needed you badly. He pulled you into a bruising kiss, before slowly lowering you back onto the bed, following you down. He kept kissing you, loving the feel over your hands, running over his body anywhere you could reach, but he couldn’t hang on much longer. He needed to be inside you.

“Y/N…” Sebastian gasped resting his forehead against hers, afraid that if he moved as much as an inch he would blow.

“It’s okay. I’m on the pill and I’m safe. Are you?” you asked so sweetly as if you had no idea what your words were doing to him. As if you had no idea what your touch, your soft body beneath him and the way you looked at him was doing to him.

“Yeah… I’m safe. Are you sure, darlin’?” Sebastian asked, gasping as you reached for him. He quickly reached for your wrist to stop you, kissing you.

“Sorry… Let me… if you touch me I might…,” Sebastian started to explain, pulling a face at you when you started to giggle. You had no idea you had affected him that strongly and as much as you wanted to tease him about it, it also gave you a strange rush. This gorgeous, amazing sweet man, was so affected by you that he was afraid he was going to come too soon if you touched him again.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, running your fingers through his hair before kissing him again.

“Make love to me Seba,” you asked, smiling as he leaned down to kiss you again.

You gasped against his lips as he slowly sank into you. You stayed like that, kissing and gently caressing each other as you gave each other the time you needed to adjust. After a few minutes, Sebastian slowly began to move, rolling his hips against yours, never pulling out more than halfway before sinking back into you. You gasped against each other’s lips, no longer really kissing but breathing each other’s air as you looked deeply into his eyes.

You never felt more connected, more loved than you did at that moment. When you came apart in his arms, Sebastian was mere seconds behind. His arms buckled and his weight crushed you, but you didn’t mind. His weight was as comforting as the feeling of his warm skin radiating against your own.

It took a few minutes before he moved, but when he did it was to kiss your neck, your cheek, and your lips, causing you to giggle, before gasping as he gently pulled out. Sebastian rolled onto his back, pulling you with him into his arms and you more than willingly snuggled up to him.

“Wow,” Sebastian breath, making you laugh and look up at him with a roll of your eyes.

“Wow? Don’t be such a guy,” you teased, squealing when Sebastian pinched you butt, before shutting you up with a kiss.

“I love you, Y/N,” he spoke softly, and your heart skipped a beat.

“I love you too, Seba,” you snuggled up to him again resting your head over his heart, smiling as you felt it beat in the same rhythm as your own.

“So… Movie Night naked in bed and pizza delivery?” Sebastian suggested, giving you a small squeeze as you laughed.

“Only if you get the door,” you grinned looking up at him and Sebastian laughed.

“Deal! I might have to borrow a sheet though.”

Reblogs spread my work and make me happy. Got a favorite part/line? Did something touch you? Do you relate in some way? Please tell me and make my day.

Sebastian Stan Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr @sleepretreat @roxyspearing @jewels2876 @hellaqueerangelofthelord @danijimenezv @rumoured-whispers @becs-bunker @smoothdogsgirl @blacktithe7 @grace-for-sale @averyrogers83 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @sorenmarie87 @docharleythegeekqueen @erosbellarke @the-wayward-robot @super100012 @myfanficlibrarium @winchesters-favorite-girl @awkwardfangirl2014 @igotkatiepowers @dottirose @deathofmissjackson @miraclesoflove @badassbaker

#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #sebastian stan x you #sebastian x you #lll

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a-tired-bitch · 8 years ago

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You Should Know Better Pt.15

23 Parts: I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI - XII - XIII - XIV - XV - XVI - XVII - XVIII - XIX - XX - XXI - XXII - XXIII

MASTER LIST

YSKB MASTER LIST

Summary: Relaxing at a bar, Joe and Dustin shoot the shit until an unexpected bar-goer arrives.

POV: Josephine

Characters: Joe Merriweather, Dustin Ayers (Indented), Claire Merriweather (Indented Italics), and everyone’s favorite dog, Duke

Word Count: 2800ish

Author’s Note: I present you with everyone's new favorite character, Claire Merriweather. This also takes place a day after the last chapter.

Quote: “For fucks sake, I should have known better.”

Tuesday night rolled around and the low humming of people chatting away along with the clinking of bottles and mugs filtered throughout the busy bar.

Working Monday’s and Wednesday’s as a professor and Thursday’s through Sunday’s as an officer, the only real time Joe had the chance to blow off some steam and attempt to relax was on Tuesday’s. However, it still wasn’t enough - both professions began to weigh down on him.

Leaning forward, Joe's forearms rested against the cool, smooth surface of the wooden bar, his eyes focused on the droplets of condensation that raced down his mug while his ears tuned in and out of the ramblings of Dustin.

��I’m telling you, Josephine, by the time I get to be your age, I’m either going to be one of those cops that eat donuts all day and has one of those cliche mustaches, whose had five hernias and three slipped disks or I’m going to turn in my twenty years, retire, and then teach at a local college because I have nothing better to do with my time like a certain someone I know.” Smirking and side-eying his friend, he gripped his beer bottle, bringing it to his lips and taking a swig from it.

Bringing his mug to his lips, Joe paused, lifting a brow as he turned to look at his friend. “Did you seriously just call me ‘Josephine’?”

Swallowing, Dustin proudly shook his head. “Out of all the things I just said, you picked up on that?” He asked, his tone playful. “But you’re damn right, I sure did.”

“No, out of all the things you just said, I picked up on the most important detail.” Finally sipping from the mug, Joe placed it back down, a satisfying 'ah’ coming from him after swallowing.

“You know,” Dustin shook a finger at him “you can be a real dick sometimes.”

Joe grinned, shrugging his shoulders. “It’s one of my hidden talents.” Staring into the mirror behind the bar, Joe watched as Dustin stared right back at him, his head shaking, a smile resting on the younger man's face.

Swiveling around, Dustin rested a forearm on the bar while his hand clutched his bottle, resting the container on his thigh. “How’s your office doing?”

Pretending to be confused, Joe furrowed his brow, his eyes resting on the mug before him. “What do you mean how is my office?”

“When I surprised you yesterday with coffee and donuts because I am such a good friend, there was this musty odor in there. If you ask me, smelled like sex.” A smug smirk claimed Dustin’s lips before disappearing as he drank from his bottle.

It was almost as if his heart dropped into his stomach after hearing what Dustin had to say. In all honesty, Dustin wasn’t wrong about the smell, but of course, Joe wasn’t willing to admit to the source of the smell. After all, Dustin was under the impression that Joe was 'banging the mom’ of his student and Joe planned on keeping that impression alive…for now at least.

Joe brought the mug back to his lips, swallowing more of the cold liquid than he expected to - he needed a moment to calm down after Dustin’s comment.

“Smelt like sex?” He questioned, shaking his head. “Because I’m totally having sex in my office, but shit, wait, hold on, who would I be sticking my dick in? My fellow colleagues because that’s the only plausible choice,” his tone sarcastic as can be even though he was lying through his teeth.

Roughly slapping his shoulder, Dustin burst out in laughter. “Calm down, pal, I’m just busting your balls. No need to get all pissy.” Quieting down, his eyes wandered around the establishment, scanning the occupants. “I mean, it isn’t the only plausible choice. Merriweather could be banging a female student or you could get with the daughter and the mother, but, that’s kinda weird.”

With eyes boring into Dustin, Joe bit down on his cheek, slightly annoyed by all the banter.

Pulling his sights away from the seated crowd, Dustin locked eyes with Joe, his aura suddenly changing. He had much experience with this certain look and he knew he was walking a thin line now. “Or, you know, you could be banging no one at all. You’re not that stupid. You wouldn’t have sex with anyone in your office anyways.”

“There you go, Dustin, thinking with your head and not your ass. I’m very proud of you, son.” Joe joked, glad the issue was slowly blowing over.

Time slowly passed and Joe was on his second mug while Dustin blew threw another two bottles. Joe was due to lecture the following day while Dustin had the day off, allowing for his partner to drink more since he knew Joe would sober enough to drive the both of them home.

“I’m liking the whole black on black on black combo on you,” Dustin looked over Joe. “You sure look different in a leather jacket and jeans as opposed to your ironed button up and slacks” Flagging down the bartender, he motioned for some shots. “Keep ‘em coming too.”

Astonished by his stupidity, Joe glanced in his direction. “The fuck you mean? Our uniforms are black…on black…on black.”

Watching as the bartender placed the amber filled glasses before Dustin, Joe shook his head. “You downing those on your own or am I supposed to help?”

Narrowing his eyes, the blond-haired man ran a hand along his cheek. “You’ve got a point. They are black, but you get what I mean.” Downing the last few sips of his beer, he turned his attention to the shots. “Well, you’re driving and have to fill those brains with your precious knowledge tomorrow, so, I don’t expect you to keep up with the young guns, but one, maybe two couldn’t hurt since you can usually hold your alcohol.”

Sucking on his teeth, it only took a second for Joe to come to his decision - there was no denying that Joe was a fan of alcohol when the chance presented itself. “You’re lucky it’s a Tuesday night and not a Monday night because you know from experience that I’d drink you under the table.”

Pulling a shot towards their bodies, the two men, in harmony, lifted the glasses and downed the amber liquid, repeating the process once more.

“Now, as a man who attempts to uphold the laws of the land, I’m going to have to strongly advise you that you stop drinking now.” Cocking his head back, Dustin swiveled around in his chair, a chain of laughter cascading out of his mouth. He stared at the door that was slowly being opened, two brunettes and a blonde walked through the door. Shaking his head out, his eyes widened as he focused on the blonde. “Oh fuck,” he whispered under his breath, quickly swiveling back around and lowering his head. “And as a man who is your dearest friend, I highly and I mean highly suggest that you don’t turn around and that we leave.”

Sliding the empty glasses away, Joe glanced at Dustin, confused by his comments and his posture - it was like he was trying to hide from someone.

“What do you mean?” He questioned, looking into the mirror, scanning the people behind him only to find no one of interest.

“Last time I checked, I don’t have a stuttering problem.” Dustin quickly glanced over his shoulder, watching the women chat amongst themselves. “Don’t look to your left.”

Confused, yet interested by the strange situation, Joe straightened in his stool. “Why? Who’s here?” Taking the responsibility to answer the question on his own, Joe turned to his left, his eyes scanning the bodies until they landed on the person Dustin was more than likely speaking about.

Freezing, Joe watched the woman who he had once called his wife, mingle with her friends. He looked her over, his eyes resting on a ring that claimed the finger he had once claimed with his own. His eyes lingered for just a moment before she turned in his direction. “Oh shit,” he muttered, tearing his sights away from the woman and turning back around.

“You dumbass,” Dustin scolded, slapping the back of his head. “Told you not to look over there you.”

Glaring at Dustin, Joe began to grind his teeth, his eyes looking away and at the mirror in his sights.

It was obvious Claire had noticed him, it was apparent since Joe watched in the mirror as she made her way towards him - his body tensing as she inched closer and closer.

“Joesph Derek Merriweather.” Claire’s hand glided up his back until it rested on his shoulder. “Surprised to see you here.” Standing between the two seated men, Claire glanced at Dustin. “Nice to see you, Dustin, it’s been a while,” her right hand coming up to pat the man’s shoulder.

Joe winced at Claire’s touch. “Claire,” he whispered, his eyes opening once her hand rested on his shoulder. “By the ring on your finger, guessing you moved on fairly quickly. Hate to say it, but I kind of feel sorry for the bastard that gave it to you.”

Removing her hand from Dustin and placing both of them on each of Joe’s shoulders, she leaned into his ear. “Don’t feel sorry for yourself, Joe. You and I are still married.”

In that exact moment, all the air from Joe’s lungs escaped, it was as if someone decked him right in the ribs. He couldn’t move, he was frozen. He couldn’t speak, he was at a loss for words. He couldn’t blink, his eyes were locked on his reflection in the mirror.

When she leaned away from him, his frozen trance came undone. “Wait, what?” You and I signed the papers a week ago. What the fuck do you mean we’re still married. I swear to fucking god, Claire, if you —.”

“Don’t even start with the false threats, Joe, I’m far too used to them.” Walking to the empty stool next to him, she took a seat. “But just because we signed them in the presence of each other, doesn’t mean the procedure is completed. We’re still married,” she air quoted ‘married’ “until I turn in the papers and the papers are finalized.” She shook her head, false disappointment radiating from her. “Should have been smarter, husband. Should have taken the responsibility of turning them in yourself.”

Covering his face with his hands, Joe slowly shook his head. He couldn’t believe that situation and what she had done. Hopefully, although he lacked any hope in Claire, this was all some sadistic joke she was playing. Sadly, he knew firsthand how much of a conniving, yet clever woman she could be, but this was a whole different level.

“Claire, please, oh, please, tell me that you’re busting my balls right,” his plea was muffled as he slowly moved his hands down his face.

Taking a moment to gather his thoughts, he straightened up, turning to face the blonde. “Look, I know I don’t have much trust in you after everything, but I entrust you to turn those papers in,” he leaned in closer to her, “no, actually, I’m telling you to turn those fucking papers in by the end of this goddamn month. In a few weeks, they will turn void.”

Smiling, Claire snaked her hand down, resting it on his thigh.

He quickly glanced down at her hand. “Isn’t that what got you in trouble with me? Placing your hands on me?” He gripped her hand, tossing it up on the bar. “Don’t touch me.” He warned.

Ignoring what he had to say, Claire spoke. “I thought you said you were always three steps ahead of people in thirty different directions, but look at that, looks like you’re three steps behind me in only one direction.” Leaning forward, she grabbed one of the shot glasses. “Not as clever as you portray yourself to be.” She smiled, her icy blue eyes locking with his warm hazel ones. “I’ll be seeing you around, my dear husband.” She added, downing the shot, and standing up, pausing before walking away. “And wait, isn’t that what got you in trouble with me? Drinking?” She said almost mockingly as she walked away.

Watching her strut away for a second, Joe slowly turned back around, a shocked and open-mounted Dustin coming into view.

“Ho-ly shit.” Dustin whispered, a shaky and fake laugh accompanying his response. “What the fuck just happened?” He asked, his eyes still staring at the bar - it was as if he was scared to look up.

Without a single word, Joe reached over, grabbing the three refilled shot glasses.

Downing one, he grabbed the next. Down two, he grabbed the last. Downing the last shot, he grabbed his mug, finishing the rest of the beer. It all happened in a matter of seconds.

“Whoa, pal, take it easy.” Dustin placed a hand on Joe’s shoulder, shaking him slightly. “After all that, in a few minutes, you’ll be in no shape to drive. You know, the quicker you drink, the faster the effects come.”

Joe sat there silently, his face covered by a hand, his eyes closed. Not only on the outside was he fuming, but within, his blood was boiling by the unexpected news.

Digging into his jacket pocket, he searched for his keys, tossing them onto the counter. “Drive,” he muttered to Dustin.

Abruptly taking to his feet, the stool nearly collided with the ground. “Let’s go,” Joe commanded. As he walked away, his eyes locked onto Claire’s until he pulled the doors open and walked outside.

After a 'fuck’, 'shit’, and 'bitch’ filled ride home, the two men finally pulled into the driveway.

Helping a disheveled and belligerent Joe out of the Jeep and up the front door, Dustin followed behind the man, ensuring that if he were to stumble over his feet or fall, he would be able to catch him.

Taking a second to make sure Joe was steady on his feet, Dustin walked around, unlocking the front door and motioning for him to get inside. “You poor bastard,” he muttered, receiving a stern look from Joe.

As barking filled the house, Dustin calmed Duke. “Calm down, super dog. Dusty boy is here taking care you of daddy because your mommy dropped a bombshell on him at the bar.”

“I swear, I’ll drop a fucking bombshell on her if she doesn’t fucking turn in those god damn motherfucking papers.” Joe drunkenly babbled as he cautiously entered his own house, using the walls to keep his balance.

“Yeah, okay, I’m sure you will. Just take it easy bud.” Entering behind his drunken friend, Dustin kneed away a playful and rowdy Duke. “You take it easy too, you runt. I don’t mind getting scratched up, but I’d rather get scratched by a woman than a dog. Full offense, Duke.”

Ignoring the two lovebirds, Joe continued on his way towards the hallway that led to the master bedroom. “Duke, leave him alone, let’s go to bed,” Joe commanded, his speech slurred.

Joe paused to turn and face Dustin one last time. “You can take the couch and spend the night or do whatever, but if you leave, lock the house up. You know where the key is,” he instructed.

“Aren’t you supposed to offer the guest your bed?” Dustin joked, before walking away and over to the fridge. “I’m kidding.”

Joe zoned out for a moment, his sights latching onto the wall beside him. It wasn’t until the slamming of the fridge that Joe looked away, shaking the cobwebs out, and nibbling on his lower lip.

Turning into the hallway, Joe stopped, his eyes scanning over the pictures that littered the wall. It didn’t take long until his eyes rested on the wedding picture. After a moment, he pulled the frame from the wall, throwing it onto the floor, watching as glass spreading across the wood.

The clash forced Dustin to peek into the hallway, a 'fuck’ echoing throughout the silent house.

Clenching his jaw, Joe stepped over the mess, glass crunching under the weight of his body as he entered his room.

Stripping off his jacket, kicking off his boots, and unbuckling his pants, he fell into bed, a groan coming from his lips as he pulled Duke into his body. “For fuck sakes,” He whispered into the fur of his dog. “I should have known better.”

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until-theend-oftheline · 6 years ago

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When They Had Nothing - Part 1: First Sight

Pairing: Stucky (Eventually)

Warnings: Violent Father, Implied Alcohol Abuse, Kids fighting, Bullying.

Word Count: 2800ish

A/N: This is my new Stucky series. It starts with the boys as kids in Brooklyn and follows CAFA but from Bucky’s POV rather than Steve’s. I am sooo excited about this series which I have been working on for about 6 months as it’s written for @cabigbang

Art Inspired by WTHN by: @ischa-posts - thank you so much for taking the time to create art for my series! - That inculdes all the artwork shown in this chapter

Betaed by: @blacktithe7 @emilyevanston and @ifyougetkilled-walk-it-off - Thank you so much for all your help!

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

MASTERLIST - CABIGBANG MASTERLIST WITH AO3 LINK

April 16th, 1922

Bucky jumped out of the car right behind his father, and his eyes widened. The look of awe only a child could possess spread across his small face. This place was nothing like Shelbyville, Indiana, where he had spent the first five years of his young life.

The city around him was buzzing and busy as the people went about their day. The cars were fancier, and everyone seemed as if they were in a rush to be somewhere. While Bucky’s little sister clung to her mom, overwhelmed by it all. He was the complete opposite. He looked around the city; soaking in every person, every store and interaction in. He felt the excitement grow within him, and it was all he could do not to run off to explore his new city right away. Bucky knew that such actions would get him in trouble with his parents, so he stayed close to their new building while he let his eyes do the wandering for him.

He watched children play on a street corner. A store owner yelled at a boy probably 10 years older than Bucky to get a move on. He watched women in fancy dresses, stopped in front of a store giggling and chatting.

His eyes didn't stop until they landed on a small blond boy. He probably wasn’t that much younger than Bucky, but he was much smaller. He looked frail and sickly, but there was a fire behind his blue eyes as he stared down the pair that Bucky assumed were his parents. The father was yelling at the mother, looming over her in a threatening manner. Something within Bucky twisted. He wanted to stop the man. He wanted to protect the woman, whose hand was on her son’s shoulder as if she was getting ready to push him back.

Bucky was only five years old, and there was nothing he could do. Nothing that wouldn’t earn him a spanking for meddling in other people’s business, still he moved. He wasn’t sure why he did it or what he hoped to accomplish by nearing the family he knew nothing about.

Before Bucky could get further than a few steps, the back of the man’s hand collided with the woman’s cheek. Anger like nothing he had ever felt before bubbling inside Bucky. The feeling didn’t last long. It was soon replaced with one of complete awe and admiration as the frail blond boy wiggled himself out from under his mother’s hand, placing himself between his parents.

Bucky wasn’t sure what the argument had been about, nor was he able to make out the child’s words to his father. All he knew was that his stomach twisted as he watched the man’s stone-cold stare towards his son. For a second, Bucky was sure the man was going to hit him, and he jumped, meaning to run to the boy’s aid. He didn’t get far before a hand closed around his arm dragging him back towards his new home. His father’s reprimands filled his ears, but the words of how he was too old to be running off like that and it was his duty to stay by his mom and sister’s side didn’t register with him. It wasn’t like he hadn’t heard it all before anyway, and right now, Bucky’s attention was somewhere more important.

The man didn’t hit his son. Instead, he spun around heading straight for the bar at the end of the street while the mom knelt down in front of her son. Bucky didn’t know what she was saying, but her demeanor and loving touch stood in great contrast to the one of her husband as she almost seemed to be checking her boy for injuries, even if she was the one that had just been struck.

The boy just smiled, taking her hand as she got back on her feet, following her down the street, but not before his head turned, and Bucky met his eyes. An unexplainable warmth spread through Bucky’s body as the boy stared at Bucky who was being dragged backward by his own father. Bucky didn’t feel the bruising hold on his arm or the strong words directed at him. He just saw the blue eyes widening in surprise as Bucky sent him his brightest smile. He wasn’t exactly sure what it was he felt, but in that second, a connection was formed. A connection that neither boy could ever have known what would come to mean to both of them. Neither of them ever forgot the moment they first saw each other, or that years would pass before their paths crossed again

July 3rd, 1927

“Bucky pleeease,” Rebecca whined as she skipped backward down school halls, looking up at her older brother walking in front of her. The seven-year-old girl wanted nothing more than to go to the 4th of July parade this weekend, but their mom was out of town, and their dad was working security for one of the main speakers. Bucky was old enough to go on his own while Rebecca was not. She did, however, think that she could convince her parents to let her go if Bucky promised them to take care of her and not let her out of his sight.

Bucky never intended on turning her down. Even if he would have loved to go with his friends from his wrestling team, that was all walking with him at the moment, he loved his sister. This meant so much to her, so of course, Bucky wasn’t going to turn her down. That didn’t mean he couldn’t keep her in suspense for a little while though.

“What’s in it for me?” Bucky asked with a cheeky grin plastered across his face, making his friends laugh.

The little girl came to a stop in front of her brother as a thoughtful frown formed on her face.

“I’ll shine your shoes for two Saturdays,” she offered, making Bucky smirk and take a step towards her. If she was gonna bargaining, he might as well teach her how to do it properly.

“Four,” he countered, smiling at the pout on her face. There was no doubt in his mind she wanted to kick him over the shin right about now, but she was also too stubborn to give in.

“Three,” she crossed her arms over her chest, staring her brother down. Bucky couldn't help but feel more than a little proud of her, still, the urge to mess with her was too great.

“And eat all my broccoli for a week,” Bucky extended his hand for her to shake, but wasn’t able to hold back his laughter as her little nose scrunched up in disgust.

“Ew Buck. No!” she whined, backing away from him, but Bucky moved faster, pulling the squealing girl into his side ruffling her hair.

“I’ll take you, Becca,” he laughed, making her push against him with a half pout and half grin.

“You’re the meanest brother ever,” she stuck her tongue out at him, and Bucky laughed again.

“Yeah well, I am the only one you got. So don’t have a kitten,” he grinned before a loud crash of a chair hitting the floor sounded through the dining hall.

Bucky’s head popped around, his attention drawn towards the sound. A chair was laying on the dining room floor with a blond boy scrambling to out from under it. Looming over him was Gerry. He was a few years older than Bucky and a known bully. He never gave Bucky any trouble since he belonged to the wrestling team and was one of the more popular kids at the school. The boy picked on everyone else who was smaller and, in his eyes, more insignificant than him. Bucky never liked him, but he had stayed out of his way up until now. Occasionally he had helped kids steer clear of him while he managed to distract the idiot. Gerry wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, but he was one of the biggest and while Bucky was on the wrestling team, he preferred to not get into a fight. He had a strong sense of right and wrong, but if things could be handled with other than his fists that’s how he preferred it done.

Today, however, Bucky stepped forward. The words of his friends didn’t stop him as they called out to him that it wasn’t worth the trouble. He didn’t even listen to Rebecca pleading with him in fear that her beloved older brother would get hurt. All he saw was the blond boy scrambling to get back onto his feet, taking a defensive position with his hands raised. It was the same boy Bucky had seen defend his mother from his father’s abuse the day he had first arrived in Brooklyn 5 years ago. Bucky hadn’t seen him seen him since or felt anything like the pull he had that day, not until this moment. Back then Bucky hadn’t been in a position to help him, no matter how badly he had wanted too, but today he was.

“Give me the dough!” Gerry roared at the blond boy who just shook his head, stubbornly holding his ground against the boy twice his size.

“No, it’s mine,” the boy answered, causing Gerry to lunge forward. His fist would have collided with Steve’s jaw had Bucky not moved as fast as he did, grabbing Gerry’s arm before pushing him backward. A surprised look formed on the bully’s face seconds before it turned into one of blind rage as Bucky placed himself between Gerry and his victim.

“Leave him alone, Gerry,” Bucky ordered, not breaking eye contact with the boy that was half a head taller than himself. He knew Gerry wasn’t going to back down, but Bucky wasn’t going to throw the first punch either. It simply wasn’t who he was.

“Stay out of this, Barnes,” Gerry snarled, but Bucky didn’t move. He didn’t respond to the boy behind him either, telling him he had this on his own. Bucky knew the boy wasn’t going to pay Gerry, nor should he have too. He wasn’t about to stand by and watch him get beat up for standing up for himself either.

“Leave him alone,” Bucky repeated, punctuating each word, and for a second Gerry seemed to consider his options. He wasn’t used to picking a fight with kids that were able to hold their own against him in a fight, but he was also too dumb to back down from one. So instead of walking away like Bucky had hoped, he took a swing at him.

Bucky quickly ducked out of the way, landing his own fist against his attacker’s ribcage. Gerry took a step back, heaving for breath before jumping Bucky with a scream knocking him backward into the boy behind him, sending the three of them tumbling towards the floor.

Bucky looked over his shoulder, seeing the boy struggle for breath. His momentary worry and loss of focus cost him a punch to the face, drawing his attention and anger back towards Gerry. The boys rolled around on the floor, punching and struggling for a while before Bucky managed to get the upper hand. He straddled Gerry, placing a solid punch against his jaw and was reading another when he was dragged back by a teacher. He watched another grab a hold of Gerry who was now bleeding from his nose and screaming and kicking to get away from the adult so he could return Bucky’s favor. The teacher didn’t let go, and Bucky didn’t care about Gerry any longer. Instead, his eyes searched the room to see the blond boy leaning over one of the tables.

He was clearly still out of breath, but he seemed okay as his eyes met with Bucky’s. Just like 5 years ago when Bucky was being dragged away from him. Bucky sent him a huge genuine smile, and just like that time, the surprise on the boy’s face was evident.

Bucky didn’t care that he was in trouble as he and Gerry were being dragged along to the principal's office. At least the boy got to keep his money without being hurt too badly. Bucky’s only regret was that he hadn’t gotten a chance to learn his name once more.

July 6th, 1927

Bucky kicked the ground as he walked out of the school building. As much as detention sucked, it was way worse not being able to walk home from school with his little sister and friends. Bucky knew he should consider himself lucky though. Had his mom not been a teacher at the school and stood up for him the way that she did, he could have gotten way worse than the week of detention and ten whips with his father’s belt when he got home. Even that had been against his mother’s wishes, but his father had the final say in how the kids were raised, and Bucky knew better than to get into a fight at school. Or so George had said. It didn’t matter to him that Bucky had been standing up for someone else. He had disobeyed the rules so he had to be punished.

Bucky didn’t hate his father. He wasn’t a violent or cruel man. He was strict on the kids, more so Bucky than Rebecca, but he didn’t hate him. He had a complicated relationship with the man he wanted nothing more than to impress. Still, Bucky never felt he was good enough in the eyes of his father, no matter his accomplishments.

Bucky’s mind was miles away when he walked over the schoolyard and out into the street. It was so far away that he didn’t see the blond

boy waiting on the steps outside one of the buildings. Bucky didn’t see him jump up and run after him either, not until he called out from behind him.

“Hey! Why did you do that?” Bucky stopped and turned around with a surprised look on his face, surprise that turned into a smile when he recognized the boy in front of him.

“Gerry is a bully. He deserved to be taught a lesson,” Bucky answered with a shrug. He wasn’t telling a lie, but he wasn’t speaking the entire truth either. The truth was that Bucky had been given more than one chance in the past to teach Gerry a lesson, but he had always chosen the less violent approach in helping out his victims whenever he could. He wasn’t sure why he had jumped in the way he had the other day, but he knew it had nothing to do with Gerry.

“I’m Bucky by the way,” he introduced himself, extending his hand to the boy in front of him.

He saw him hesitate for a second before taking it. Bucky smiled with the way he shook his hand as if he was trying to prove himself or something. He didn't have too. Bucky already liked him. He didn’t care if he was never going to be on the wrestling team, or if he looked pale and sickly. He saw beyond that. He saw the goodness behind the blue eyes and the courage that he was always going to stand up for what was right. Part of Bucky related to that, but more than that he admired it. It made him want to strive to not ignore those qualities in himself.

“I’m Steve,” the boy introduced himself, and Bucky smiled, happy to finally know his name.

“You wanna walk home together Steve?” Bucky asked with hope in his voice. Maybe something good would come out of this whole detention thing after all. Bucky smiled when Steve nodded.

“Okay.”

The two boys walked side by side in comfortable silence for a while. The bond that Bucky had felt 5 years ago, was growing stronger without either of them knowing it for sure, but somehow they both felt right. Like they had meant to cross paths and that their fates were intertwined somehow. Just how strongly neither of the two kids could have predicted or imagined, and even if they could, it’s doubtful it would have made any difference to their silent decision that they were now friends, both willing to do just about anything for the other. A vow that no matter what was thrown at them was never going to break.

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a-tired-bitch · 8 years ago

Text

You Should Know Better Pt.2

23 Parts: I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII - IX - X - XI - XII - XIII - XIV - XV - XVI - XVII - XVIII - XIX - XX - XXI - XXII - XXIII

MASTER LIST

YSKB MASTER LIST

Summary: After sitting down in his office, not only does Natalie receive her stories, but she notices something else that is missing.

POV: Natalie

Characters: Natalie, Joe Merriweather (Indented), Professor Miller (Indented italics)

Word Count: 2800ish

Author’s Note: God, I love reading what Joe has to say.

Quote: “Get comfortable, this might be a long ride unless you take Miller’s advice and tell me to stop.”

“You know, they say gum helps you stay alert and awake,” Joe said as Natalie finally accepted the piece of gum. “Two areas you seem to be lacking in at the current moment,” Joe added, pushing away from the podium, and returning behind his desk. “Understandable, though. It’s late in the day, and you’ve been here since the morning.” Turning, he smiled once more. “Once again, it sounds creepy, but it’s not. Like I said before, I have a keen sense of noticing my students while they walk around campus with their eyes glued to their phones.” Gripping the back of his chair, Joe leaned over, grabbing his black briefcase from the floor. “Gotta be observant in this day in age no matter what. Trust me, it’s a good skill set to have and it comes in handy with where you’re going, so, it’s a win-win.” Straightening up, Joe placed the briefcase on the desk. “Now,” his eyes locked onto her as she fiddled with the gum wrapper. “Since it’s getting late and I’m sure you would much rather be on your way home than to listen to me ramble on with whatever I can come up with at the moment, what exactly do you need, Ms. Jankoski?”

Running a finger across the smooth gum wrapper, Natalie continued to listen, shaking her head every now and then as she unwrapped the wrapper, revealing a red piece of gum. “Although, I feel like I’m some sort of test subject being studied right now and, I suppose for the rest of the semester as well, it’s fine, I understand where you are coming from.” Popping the piece of gum into her mouth, she finally rested her eyes back on him, only to notice that he was doing the same. “There’s no need to apologize since I’m the same way. I guess it’s a habit we share,” with that, a soft scoff came from her.

Natalie was always one to keep eye contact with whoever she was speaking to, but for some reason, keeping contact with her professor was something different - it was almost intimidating and it had always been this way, but nevertheless, she always persisted.

“Now, I’m not sure if you want to answer this, but since I practically want to follow in your footsteps, in terms of career, I thought you!” Natalie extended her arms out almost as if she was presenting something. “The police officer turn FBI Special Agent turn police officer 2.0 who also dabbles in teaching college courses, would be the best source of information for this assignment. After all, you always seem to be a good source of stories and information.” A moment passed, and the two of them stared at each other in silence while Natalie attempted to collect her thoughts and proceed with the conversation. But with a blank mind, the best she could do was turn and take a few steps away, tossing the small wrapper into the trash.

Tapping her finger against her lanyard, she finally turned around after a moment and spoke. “Now, let’s get down to business,” Natalie said, a false tone of amusement taking ahold of her voice. Clenching down onto her gum, she reclaimed her position before his desk and spoke once more. “Like I said, you don’t need to answer if you don’t want to, but since you already do this in class, I don’t think it’s a problem. But once again, it’s your call.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Joe shifted on his feet and tilted his head. “I don’t appreciate you fiddling with your words, so, spit it out.” He said, his tone a mix of annoyance and curiosity. “You either want me to answer something or you don’t, but don’t worry, I’ll answer whatever you need me to answer, that’s why I’m here - to teach you and satisfy your needs...in an educational sense.” Glancing down to his watch, he read the time. “That’s if time allows for it to be answered. I highly doubt that it will since the next class starts in just a few minutes and I know for certain that Dan is walking down the hallway right now as we speak.”

Following Joe’s actions, Natalie glanced down to her phone, reading the time as well. “Look at that, you’re right.” She thought for a moment before continuing. “I guess I can just stay after class and we can discuss it next time around.” She negotiated. “But just for future references, I just need for you to tell me a story that you haven’t discussed in class, about your time on the force or bureau.” She replied, glancing up at the door that was now being opened by the next professor that occupied the room.

“It doesn’t matter?” Joe asked, placing his sights on the door as well. “You should know that everything matters to some extent, don’t be foolish, young lady,” Joe said with sternness as he grabbed his suit jacket and dressed himself.

Almost reluctantly, Natalie watched as Joe teasingly placed on his black jacket at what seemed to be a slower pace than usual. Running a hand along her cheek, she took in a deep breath and continued to chew her gum, watching in silence as he fluffed out his jacket and ran a hand through his lightly gelled hair.

Oh, how he was attractive.

Smirking as he gathered his belongings, Joe walked out from behind the desk and stood beside his student, leaning down slightly. “I told you Dan was almost here,” Joe whispered, a smile creeping onto his face as he straightened up and walked forward. “Come, Ms. Jankoski, let’s go to my office.” He said, looking over his shoulder and motioning for her to follow. “I’ll tell you a few stories and do whatever else you need me to do.” He added, stopping just a few feet from the door to greet his colleague with a firm handshake and a few words.

Following a few steps behind Joe, Natalie stopped in the isle of computers, halfheartedly listening to the conversation that the two men were engaging in.

“Yeah, she wants me to tell her some stories for some assignment she has to do.” Joe added, turning to look at Natalie.

“Wow, Natalie. That really hurts my feelings. You know you could’ve asked me for some stories during our class.” The professor shook his head and clutched his heart as if he was injured. “I’m kidding.” He added with a chuckle. “With so many years of experience under his belt, Joe has an assload of stories to tell you, just make sure to tell him to stop after a while because this man can go on for hours.”

Smiling, Natalie nodded in response. “Sorry, Professor Miller.” She apologized as she leaned against the table, reeling in her keys, and clutching them. “Got the assignment last class and instead of procrastinating, I thought I should get a head start, so, here I am with Professor Merriweather, but don’t worry, I got you next time.”

“You hear that, Dan? She’s going to get her way with me and then go to you.” Joe pitched in with a chuckle as he slapped Miller’s back. “I’ll see you later, buddy. Let me go take care of her for now.” Joe said, walking to the door, and opening it, holding it open for his counterpart to follow him out.

With a sprinkle of a conversation here and an exchange of friendly contact there, the two of them finally reached Joe’s office after a trek across campus.

“So, you want to hear a story?” Joe asked, digging into his pocket, and pulling out his keys. “I’ll give you a story alright. Might not be what you’re looking for, but it sure as hell is a story.” He muttered, opening the door, and motioning for her to enter

Furrowing her brow while listening to his careless whispers, she stepped through the threshold of the room, looking around the area after entering. It was small and filled with bookcases, papers, and pictures of Joe wearing several different uniforms. She had been to his office a handful of times, but this time she noticed something missing from the center of his desk - a portrait of him and his wife.

“Sit.” Joe ordered, pulling his student out of her trance, and squeezing past her while shutting the door. “Get comfortable, this might be a long ride unless you take Miller’s advice and tell me to stop.” He said with a chuckle as he approached his desk, placing his briefcase down and flicking on the lights. “I’m not saying it might be too much for you, but I’m sure you would rather be home and not with your professor.”

Glancing behind her, Natalie looked at the closed door, surprised that he didn’t leave it cracked like most other professors do when they speak to a student. While doing so, she couldn’t help but scoff at the sexual reference - or at least she assumed it was one - Joe just said.

“Long ride?” Natalie asked, turning back around to face Joe who was lingering behind his desk, both hands stored away in his pockets. “Not to be a smartass, but you have a point there, who wouldn’t want to be back at home?” Natalie asked, leaning forward a bit and looking out the window, watching as the night began to creep onto campus. “If you want to make things easier for the both of us, you can just tell a short story, that is, if you have any or simply just tell me a few main points. It’s whatever you want.”

Following her glance, Joe also looked out the window before leaning over his desk and abruptly shutting them. “I’ve grown a habit of shutting doors behind me wherever I go.” Joe spoke up, ignoring her proposition. “Same goes with blinds.” He added, leaning away from the window and letting the string fall from his hand. “You can open the door if you want, I really don’t mind, it’s my mistake for closing it.” He added, opening his briefcase, and messing with its contents.

Ignoring his lack of response on her offer and dismissing his counteroffer, Natalie approached a chair and sat down, placing her objects besides her, and pulling out a pad of paper and a pen. “Well,” she began as she settled into the chair, getting comfortable. “Whenever you’re ready, I guess. Start talking and I’ll start writing.” She said, watching as he slowly glanced up from his briefcase and nodded.

Joe nodded and took a few moments to himself before speaking. “You know what’s just as dangerous as a man with a gun?” Joe asked, pulling a badge from his briefcase and placing it down on the desk. “Drunk driving.” He sternly answered, looking her straight in the eyes while his thumb ran across the cold material. “It’s Mother’s Day and I’m out doing my usual patrol when a call comes out over the radio.” Joe took a deep breath and straightened up, taking his suit jacket off and placing it on the back of his chair. “’10-55, drunken accident at the cross section of Baker and 50. 10-51.’ Which translates to a drunk driver, resulting in a wreck. So, as expected, I rush to the scene and I’m practically the first patrol unit there and it’s just a God damn mess. Car parts everywhere. Flashing lights illuminating the night sky. Firefighters and EMTs everywhere. The looming presence of death stalking its way through the area. The whole shebang-shaboom.” Pulling his seat out from his desk, Joe sat down. “You know what happened that night that compares to no other crash site I’ve been to?

Natalie glanced up from her notepad and bit the end of her pencil. She took a moment to think before speaking. “A child?” Natalie answered with little confidence as she leaned onto the armrest of the chair.

Joe nodded. “It’s pure and simple: the loss of innocence at such a young age. But you were close.” Joe said, pulling himself up to his desk and leaning forward. “I got there and some asshole decided to just drive drunk and you know what the result of that was?” He questioned, his voice increasing in volume. “It resulted in me holding a child in my arms while his mother was dying just feet away from us. I told him, ‘Don’t worry, buddy, look up at the sky, your daddy will be here soon.’ and then took him back to my vehicle and comforted him.” Joe bit down on his lower lip, anger, and sadness clearly present on his features as he leaned away and back into his chair. “But his dad never came. Not only did he lose his mother, but his father was already out of the picture.” Joe shook his head, letting out a deep sigh as he regained his composure. “That drunken mess took away that child’s only parent and now... Now I have no idea what happened to the poor kid. Hopefully, the grandparents took him in because if not, he’s off in a home somewhere. Either way, that kid’s innocence is completely and utterly destroyed.”

Thankfully, since Joe was a nice and clean speaker, writing down the key points of the story was an easy breeze, but what wasn’t an easy breeze was letting a small wave of sadness wash over her. She couldn’t even begin to piece together the story he was laying out before her. Yes, the story as a whole was saddening, but the image of Joe holding a child while tragedy ensued just behind them was the thing that affected her more than anything. It was unusual to hear Joe in a saddened state since the only stories he told in class were ones of entertainment, excitement, action, and ones to study from.

“Here’s another one for your little assignment.” Joe continued, looking through the blinds of his window. “I’m sitting at Denny’s during the start of my shift and a call of a 10-56 at the tracks of Regan St. erupts from my radio. 10-56 is a suicide. So, the old little lady who works at the gas station just across the tracks called in, saying a man was ‘stuck’ on the tracks and his car wasn’t moving. Turns out, after further investigation this man had just lost his job, was having a hard time with his family life, and was an alcoholic, so combine all those things, you get one dirty mess – literally. So, dispatch tells me this guy just jumped in front of the train and committed suicide. You know what happens when I get to the scene?” Joe asked, turning back to face Natalie who was vigorously writing away. “I find one arm over here, a shoe over there, a leg hanging out from the tracks. His body just fucking exploded and it was a complete and utter fucking mess, but not only did he die, but get this, the conductor of a train had a heart attack right after hitting the man and the ambulance wasn’t able to get to him quick enough because they stopped at the wrong intersection.” Joe shook his head almost as if he was disappointed. “Anyways, to wrap things up, since the tracks were closed, traffic began to become backed up and that, in turn, leads to people being pretty ticked off, but they, as in the people who were yelling and cursing at me for simply doing my job, don’t understand the circumstances of the closure.” Joe began to tap the desk to go along with his upcoming dialogue. “You see, two people just died and these people don’t care nor do they realize what had just happened, they just want to cross the tracks to get their damn Starbucks or whatever. No matter how long and how vaguely you tell them what the situation is, some people just don’t care.” Once more, there was another disappointing shake of Joe’s head as he placed a hand over his mouth and just sat there in silence for a moment. “Point is, this job, it’s not about just being a police officer, it’s much more than that. We are exceptional people and beneath all the fraud of allegations against the police, is the fact. And the fact is that less than one-half of one percent of police misfit that uniform. That right there is a better average than what you would find between clergymen.” Joe paused for a moment, crossing his hands over his chest.

Giving up on her notes, Natalie watched as Joe went through a series of emotions, only to return to his passive and neutral state. At this point, listening to Joe talk was far more important than writing down his words, but it seemed as if he was done speaking. He just sat there, chewing on his gum while his eyes were fixated onto his wooden desk. “Wow.” She whispered, turning to look at the covered window. “I don’t even ha---.”

“What is a police officer?” He interrupted, leaning back into his chair. “They are the most needed person in someone’s hardship while being the most unwanted in another. They are called ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ to their face while being called ‘pig’ and ‘fuzz’ and receiving threats against their lives behind their back. A police officer is someone who needs to be a diplomat and settle issues between two parties. They need to make split-second decisions that would take lawyers months to make. They are the first responders to an accident and are expected to start breathing, stop bleeding, and ensure the victim is alive and if they aren’t, then they expect a lawsuit on their hands or to serve a death notification. If they are too quick, they are careless. Too slow, they don’t care. Too nice, they’re a flirt. Too mean, they’re an ass. They need to draw while on the run and shoot where it doesn’t hurt. The spectrum of force is a continuum. If you hit them, they are a coward. If they hit you, they are a bully and engaging in ‘brutality’. They need to engage in fights while attempting to not damage their uniform or badge. A police officer is in constant contact with sin, yet, they learn to not partake in it. A police officer runs files and conducts reports until their eyes are irritated, but they continue to trek on to produce a case. They are the news breaker. The Protector. The shoulder to cry on. The friend. The Comforter. The Psychologist. The social worker. The minister. The husband or a wife. They are a daughter or a son. A brother or a sister. They are people who spend more time with complete strangers than their dearest loved ones. You see, you’re everything mixed into one uniform and badge and no matter what, people will either love you or hate you. You either learn to deal with new things every single damn day and you have to decide to either let those things get to you or to brush them aside. Do you understand?”

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