#also I don't have particularly high hopes about the f/f thing but...it was a positive surprise :D | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

goblins-riddles-or-frocks · 1 year ago

Note

that was so- omg jrnsbhsbsh inread the comsume fic and iirhej and please I can't express how much i LOVED you writing darkling as that closed off and giving the akina pov but LET ME IN on his thoughts during it. And thank you so much.

re: this fic!

shdhff thank you!! this ask took me ages because I decided, not at all in procrastination, to go over the entire fic and write out what I think the Darkling’s going through at any given point.

for a refresher, the basic premise of the fic is that Alina isn’t dragged away to the underground tunnels when the chapel collapses at the end of S&S. she and Aleksander are both buried under the rubble, so she’s basically his prisoner once they’re both dug out and healed up. and he offers her an end to their hostilities and to spare her friends if she completely surrenders and also marries him.

I have this tagged as “S&S bad ending” and it’s really what it says on the tin! everyone’s miserable! so yeah, let’s dive in on Darkling POV!

I think his initial thought process is that he has her in his grasp and he wants to keep it that way.

No matter what the people at her bedside had said about his health, he looks perfectly fine now. A little haggard perhaps, the lines of his face sharper, more hungry. But he is otherwise unscathed. Meanwhile she still feels like... well she feels like she's had a building collapse on her. She wonders if his healers have been careful that she doesn't recover too quickly after all.

fwiw I don’t think he told his healers to be slower with Alina, her injuries were just very extensive, as per canon. and he was obviously getting priority as their commander. he just seems to not suffer much ill effect at all in R&R so I kept that.

He tilts his head, a glint in his eye that she doesn't quite like. "Would you like me to leave?"

The Corporalki behind him shift awkwardly from foot to foot. She wonders what they think of this.

"Would you actually leave?"

"No."

"Well then it doesn't matter much, does it? But for the record, no I don't particularly enjoy being scrutinized."

“ Have you attempted to summon?" he asks her.

She shakes her head.

here he’s noticed that he has gained some of her power and he’s wondering if it goes both ways. also he’s just very much enjoying being the one in total control here. especially when alina’s actions/things not going his way led him down a more volatile emotionally uncontrolled path. so he feels much more secure now, he’s kind of like “yes, this is the correct way of things.” the natural and correct power dynamic between them has been restored.

"I don't think you fully appreciate that I saved your life, Alina."

"Do you expect gratitude?"

"No, not from you." He takes a chair by her bedside, and she wonders if he is at all weak too.

She hopes so. “Then fine, what do you want?"

"You made a promise to me, Alina," the Darkling says, expression unreadable.

She frowns. "And then I tried to kill you."

He shrugs. "I've come to expect that from you. I have kept my word, however. I let your friends go."

He was unconscious when they were escaping through the tunnels. Somehow, Alina doubts he was in a position to give chase. But she holds her tongue.

so I basically say this from her POV already but he’s absolutely leaning into “oh I’m taking the high road here, I acted in good faith and let your friends go” when he really didn’t have a choice at the time! he didn’t let them go, they escaped him. and he wasn’t able to pursue. but he’s absolutely going to press the advantage and act like she owes him for it.

The Darkling visits her again, often, and seemingly aimlessly.

he’s kind of pining shfhf he wants to see her! he also keeps expecting her to run away somehow like she did after the fete. he doesn’t quite believe that she’s just… there. and can’t go anywhere.

"Do you ever regret running away?" he asks her once, suddenly. "For causing so much devastation?"

"I regret that you're cruel. That you're vicious and power hungry."

"All that I do is for Ravka," he says simply.

he does genuinely thinks that she betrayed him in the first book. his pride and feelings are a little hurt! like she wasn’t infatuated enough to stay? why not?? why does she keep picking that rando tracker???

so he asks because frankly he wants her to regret it! he wants her to have regrets

But still, he is her only company. And she begins to anticipate and dread his visits in equal measure.

She always asks him for news. She cannot tell if any of what he tells her is accurate. But she is completely in his clutches. What would be the point of lying?

he does very much enjoy being her only connection to the outside world

"Surrender. Be my Tsaritsa."

She stares at him dumbfounded. If merzost had stolen the color from her hair, perhaps it had entirely robbed the Darkling of sense.

"You're insane."

I think wanting an actual marriage is in part for propaganda! but also for want of a more direct sense of possession? like she is his captive for as long as she is in his grasp. if she escapes well she escaped. but if she marries him, even if she runs or acts against him, she would still be his wife. also he’s a fan of big gestures. getting her to outright say she surrenders, even if he thinks she doesn’t intend to follow through, is important strategically (tanking enemy morale etc) but also he simply wants to relish the power trip.

he just wants her to be His somehow and it’s very frustrating to him! like not to be a basic literature nerd but this Jane Eyre quote really exemplifies Darklina from Aleksander’s perspective to me:

“"Never," said he, as he ground his teeth, "never was anything at once so frail and so indomitable. A mere reed she feels in my hand!" (And he shook me with the force of his hold.) "I could bend her with my finger and thumb: and what good would it do if I bent, if I uptore, if I crushed her? Consider that eye: consider the resolute, wild, free thing looking out of it, defying me, with more than courage — with a stern triumph. Whatever I do with its cage, I cannot get at it — the savage, beautiful creature! If I tear, if I rend the slight prison, my outrage will only let the captive loose. Conqueror I might be of the house; but the inmate would escape to heaven before I could call myself possessor of its clay dwelling-place. And it is you, spirit — with will and energy, and virtue and purity — that I want: not alone your brittle frame. Of yourself you could come with soft flight and nestle against my heart, if you would: seized against your will, you will elude the grasp like an essence — you will vanish ere I inhale your fragrance."”

he has the means and even the willingness to crush her, make her capitulate fully, but it wouldn’t get him what he wants.

he’s been waiting for a sun summoner for an untold amount of time and has been building all his goals and desires around it. he keeps demanding her submission but that won’t get him her respect. he wants her to idolize him and to agree with everything he does. in her he wants a companion in immortality and a starry eyed acolyte. like he spent all this time thinking the sun summoner was the key to all of his life’s woes, and then Alina shows up and WRECKS his shit. he feels ripped off!! he wants his money back!! but also desperately desperately wants her to magically have always been the person he wanted her to be.

The Darkling is sitting at the head of the table. He does not look up at her approach, but he dismisses her guards with a wave.

"Do you have a response for me?" the Darkling says evenly, setting aside a stack of papers.

Alina looks at the map on the walls, and the various papers strewn about, trying to decipher anything about Ravka's current situation.

She shakes her head. "I was just bored."

At this he does finally look up, raising an eyebrow.

"You wanted company?"

he does fully expect her to sweep in to accept him (or loudly proclaim her rejection, until she takes some time to think about it and “sees reason”) it fully catches him off guard that she might just want to talk like… recreationally.

"There's nothing else to do here."

"I'm sorry, I've been busy."

"You're sorry," she says flatly. Because it is an absurd thought: the Darkling sorry for anything.

He shrugs. It's an oddly human gesture from him.

He looks weary.

eye think he means the apology. he’s genuinely busy! can’t take over a country overnight! and shdhdgdd he can afford to ignore his captive gf/mortal enemy. so he’s like realizing that he has been rather neglectful and is *mildly* chagrined about it. like… whoops

"What's your name?" she asks suddenly. "Do you have one?"

her being like “lol do you even have a name at all” paired with coming of her own volition to just hang out mildly disarms him. hence him volunteering the bit about baghra.

"Why are you so protective of it?"

"Old habit, I suppose." For a moment she thinks he isn't going to say more, and then he sighs.

"Baghra instilled it in me."

"Did vou ever look for her?"

He doesn't reply, only looks at her. Suspicion plain on his face.

"She was evacuated before the attack. If the Kingfisher made it out unscathed, she should be fine."

"It isn't any concern of mine," he says, voice going cool again.

he immediately regrets it though lmao and is like “actually no I do not care about what happened to her at all!! (lying)”

anyway I don’t get into it, but it’s probably the first time in a long time where he has no idea where Baghra is, on top of them having that very dramatic break (her smuggling Alina out, him blinding her rip rip) that I think he’s very uncertain and scared about it but also obvs wouldn’t tell Alina about it.

anyway you asked about the Darkling’s thoughts specifically, but worth mentioning that Alina asking about whether he ever looked for Baghra is her vaguely trying to appeal to/find some humanity in him. like “okay, you at least have enough in common with the regular person in that you can be worried about a loved one yes?” and he’s like “no 💖”

"Your Lantsov prince has been sighted. I knew he couldn't remain underground forever."

She keeps her expression carefully neutral, waiting for him to continue, and he does.

"He made a mistake, he'll make others, eventually he'll be captured. He is a threat, Alina, our bargain does not extend to him. I will not spare a Lantsov.”

he’s been sitting on this news for awhile actually shfhff but he brings it up here to twist the knife/further distance them.

The Darkling takes her back to her chambers— his former chambers— in the Little Palace to collect her things under supervision.

"Why did you stay in my quarters?" He asks her.

"It is where the Commander of the Second Army sleeps."

He seems to find that amusing. "Did you ever close your eyes and think of me?"

"No."

"No, I suppose you didn't have to. I was always there with you."

I think this is pretty obvious. he’s calling her out on being into him! I always thought it was absolutely deranged of her to choose to sleep in his bed!! that being said, his typical modus operandi *is* to blow things out of proportion— everything is evidence that he is right and she is wrong, and they’re meant to be like eternal soulmates— and this is no exception.

which is what leads into him making a more romantic overture for the first time since the chapel scene.

I think he hasn’t until that point, in part because he has also been mad at her lol. in canon he seems pretty chill about it the next time she visits him through the tether, but a lot of time has passed. in this he needs some time to get over his hurt feelings/wounded pride lmfao. but also! a major factor is that in the previous scene she revealed that she wants his company! and so he’s immediately like “what kind of company 👀👀”

She dreams of him. Gray eyes watching her in the darkness. She reaches for his hand, presses it to her face. That rush isn't there.

"You're right," he murmurs. "It isn't real this way. In shadows and dreams."

"Please don't go," she whispers. But he leaves anyway.

he’s absolutely punishing her for rejecting him. which is leverage he also only just discovered he has at all in the scene before last. it’s why he doesn’t visit her through the tether while he’s away for weeks. he’s reminding her that she is painfully lonely without him.

Ivan is carefully guiding her by the arm, and he's made it abundantly clear that he isn't afraid to use his power if she steps out of line, so she keeps her mouth shut, though she can feel the uneasy stares at her amplifiers. The silence stretches on, while she stands there at the door.

"Leave us," he says quietly. And everyone in the room file out in unison.

"What was that?" she asks once they're alone, aside from the requisite guards. She has grown accustomed to it at this point.

"There are rumors that you are dead. It's better to dispel them."

"And to make it clear that I'm at your beck and call?"

Alina’s guessed his motivation correctly here. he’s making a show of having a pet sun summoner.

She blinks. "You crossed the Shadow Fold?"

"The Shadow Fold no longer poses a threat to me," he says simply. "You have David to thank for that."

"What do you mean?"

He rises from his seat, moving to stand before her. “I mean that you can no longer count on West Ravka to ally with Nikolai Lantsov when he resurfaces. And no one else will want to entertain that same mistake."

this is just the same lumiya beat from R&R But Worse bc he used it to march on West Ravka, which I think he also does or at least threatens to in canon? he’s obvs making an example of them so no one dares to try to offer Nikolai any aid but also is making a statement for Ravka’s neighbors without actually acting against them, which would incite a war. essentially similar motivations to expanding the fold on Novokribirsk

He gazes down at her still captive face, cheeks streaked with fresh tears. "You've missed me," he says. And it isn't a question.

“You're a monster," she whispers, even as she reaches for him.

"Does saying that make you feel better?" he asks, lifting her up onto the table, heedless of its contents.

he knows very well that she’s vulnerable because she’s been lonely and because he just upset her with news of fresh war crimes lol so he’s like “I can offer you comfort from the problems that I caused :)”

"You were meant for me, Alina," he murmurs in her ear, a jagged edge to his voice that sounds curiously like desperation. "Accept it."

see: above Jane Eyre quote again. I think the more physical intimacy they have the more he’s like shdhf privately spiraling that she does not love him and is, in his view, too obstinate to simply see things his way and emotionally capitulate.

not really going over their negotiations when she does finally agree to marry him bc I think his responses are fairly self explanatory.

he is a emotionally shriveled husk of person feeling feelings for the first time in decades (centuries?) and it’s eating him alive!

I also faded to black the name reveal conversation because I see it going pretty close to canon! and also I’m fading to black the sex scenes in this and I like the idea of skipping over that conversation as something just as intimate?

He can afford to be indulgent now, apparently, because he thinks he's won. She stifles the impulse to make a scene, to wipe that smug look from his face. But she isn't sure he wouldn't enjoy the chance to have her seized by guards, to make a public display of just how much power he has in this situation. So she walks away, back straight.

yeah, he’s power tripping so hard 😭

"You must know that I have nearly a dozen oprichniki outside the door, in the event that my dearest wife attempts to kill me again... Or something precisely like this occurring. Should I call them?"

"You don't need to do that," Alina says hoarsely.

His arms are wrapped tightly around her waist. He leans his chin on her shoulder comfortably.

"Please don't kill him," Alina says, trying not to stumble over her own words. "He'll leave. He isn't even a threat, the Tsar is still alive."

"I don't think he will," the Darkling says, stroking her hair. "I've already told you how far my mercy extends, Alina. And it is not to him."

"Then don't consider it mercy," she says.

"Oh?" He kisses her neck.

(removed an interjection from Nikolai in the excerpt for the sake of brevity)

this is mostly in keeping with his canon tendency to always be really over the top suggestive (“did you tell him what I showed you in the dark” “I’ll be sure you hear it when I make her scream” etc) this scene is also very much about him constantly trying to telegraph power and control though. and him being so casual with Alina is part of that

The Darkling watches them both, looking thoughtful. A long moment passes. He draws up an armchair for himself, sits casually, contemplating. He must enjoy drawing this out too, the way the silence in the room is taught with anticipation and dread. How the both of them are urgently waiting on his word.

"Convince me to spare his life," he says finally, again with that indulgent air from the wedding party. But this time it seems a bit put on. "Would you beg for this one too?"

referencing the bit in S&B when he made her beg for Mal’s life.

this entire scene I think he’s feeling a mix of weary, amused, and kind of pissed because the rescue attempt came so close to being successful. the bit about his indulgent air being put on is just him not feeling as in control as he’s pretending to be? his bluff here is to act like he’s already won, even though he’s not feeling as secure as all that, and it basically does work.

he’s really annoyed at the prospect of like coming back and she could have already been gone? like what happened after the fete! and it puts him in a rather cruel mood.

like so lol:

He twists his hands in her hair and pulls, baring the pale column of her neck and its cage of antlers.

"Don't-" Nikolai begins but she cuts him off.

"Nikolai, please," she snaps.

"Oh please," the Darkling echoes with amusement.

the one thing I will ever give show!Darkling is him mocking Alina in the tent on their first meeting. so that one bit does live in my mind rent free in terms of book!Darkling characterization

"Consider this my wedding gift. If you care for me at all you'll spare him."

"If I don't?" he says quietly, bowing his head to meet her gaze. Something cruel glinting in his eyes.

lololololol stunning lack of self awareness/utter bald faced lie. he hates Feelings so much that he would probably rather set himself on fire than admit he has any feelings. (“the problem with wanting is that it makes us weak,” etc etc)

"But you do. You've never turned away from me.

I'm yours, and you want me. Please," she whispers, tilting her head up, straining to reach him. To brush her lips against his in promise.

"Send him away, let him go. And you can return to your marriage bed."

"So fervent of a sudden," he murmurs, face like stone.

he’s genuinely pissed that she’s taking stuff he’s said and parroting it back to him just to get her way. obvs the never turning away line is something he said in the chapel scene. and he’s like no that’s not allowed! you have to mean it!

They both stiffen when the Darkling strides over to pat his head like a dog, letting his shadow bonds fall away. "You're dismissed, unless," and this last is said with the most mocking of smiles

"You would like to entertain us further? Are you intent on joining our wedding night?”

Darknikolina baybey

okay so I don’t think he meant this seriously, he’s just being a dick, and there is no chance Nikolai would’ve been like “lol sure why not” under these circumstances. but IF HE DID, idk maybe just to call his bluff, I think Aleksander would have been more than happy to let him join sgdhf

also a much, much earlier version of this fic, before there were multiple chapters at all, basically existed to lead up to a wedding night threesome scene. that one was more like “I’ll let you live if you entertain my wife :)” which is a slightly different vibe

Well into the night, he is the one to finally twist away from her embrace. "Were you planning to leave with him? Was I meant to chase you down through the Ravkan countryside again?"

She thinks of the scandal, how much it would infuriate him to have her flee the very night of the wedding. She almost wishes she'd gone, that she still had the will to. "Perhaps," she says finally.

"Were you?"

"No, I told him I was staying."

shdhfg very transparently like “were you going to leave me!!!”

He stares at her for a long time, face entirely unreadable, but she can feel the tension in the lines of his body, in the way he's carefully holding himself away from her. "You wouldn't have gotten off the palace grounds."

"Are you so sure?"

yeah so he refuses to believe her saying she decided to stay. but he’s wounded about it so he’s like “it doesn’t matter! you wouldn’t have been able to leave anyway!!!”

The Darkling turns to her again in frustration. “This one's life is forfeit," he grits out, "the moment you step out of line.

"But I will not," Alina replies, with far more confidence than she feels.

"I doubt it."

"Aleksander," she pleads, reaching for him.

And he visibly stiffens. "I did not give you my name to throw it around whenever it suits you." But he lets her kiss him, with Nikolai's gaze heavy on the both of them.

so he’s literally only keeping Nikolai alive because the other hostages are gone and he can’t hold them over Alina’s head. pretty telling that he thinks he needs that much to keep her in check. and like… he’s not wrong I guess!

meanwhile she tries to appeal to his humanity a bit and he recoils from that, both the implication that there is humanity to appeal to lol and that she’s flaunting something intimate, told to her in confidence— basically the closest to willing vulnerability he’ll get. and even so it almost works, he softens a little, involuntarily basically. (mind, he has also privately been going INSANE for the entire night and morning over her saying that she had decided to stay anyway, like is it true? did she just say it to fuck with him? why???) which is why his response is to get a little vicious like “okay the bargain’s off I’m killing everyone the moment I get my hands on them, and don’t worry they’ll come to me!!!”

but yeah mostly he’s just going insane. like she ruined his fucking life by telling him that!! because it’s also that he knows he hasn’t been treating her well lmao or doing anything to really win her over. in his white knuckle refusal to show her any sort of emotional weakness, he’s fostered a fairly cold and grim dynamic between them. meanwhile he’s had his ongoing internal tantrum about her not liking him sjfjfhffgs like he just keeps lashing out and making things worse and having way less game because he’s increasingly more invested and that makes him more tantrumy and evil.

And as much as he talks of killing Nikolai, the Darkling enjoys the spectacle of having the prince at his beck and call. It's obvious.

The two of them, they might as well be exotic birds, he keeps in pretty cages. Keeping them dressed in gold and jewels, bringing them out to impress and intimidate ally and enemy alike.

Darknikolina :)

also glossing over stuff that doesn’t involve Aleksander bc we’re focused on his POV only rn

Alina thinks she may cry, but she only steps away, a bland smile plastered to her face. The Darkling's sharp gaze is following her every movement as she steps up to him. "I don't feel well."

He nods and his oprichniki usher her back inside.

She only wonders afterwards whether he knew. Whether it was a test.

I don’t think he knew beforehand but I think he has suspicions as it’s happening.

"You spend so much time with the Lantsov pup," he says, voice deceptively calm.

She bristles. Knowing already where this is going.

"I wasn't the one who suggested he join us on our wedding night."

"Is that an admission?"

"No. He's simply the only friend I have here."

"Alina, if you're lacking for friends, we could always hunt them down and bring them back." He pauses, the smile he gives her is venomous. "To keep you company."

he’s such a fucking mess idek what to say. his threats are never empty tho!

He brings his lips to hers, more tender with her than she's used to. She lets herself sigh into it; though she knows it's laced with poison, it's still sweet. He barely draws away to speak, and she can almost feel the shape of the words. "Tell your prince he's the last of his line. Not that he has much claim to it to begin with."

"What?"

But he simply kisses her again, her lips still parted in surprise, and then leaves, self satisfaction in every step.

Alina can't bring herself to feel particularly badly for the former Tsar and Tsaritsa. She cares for Genya too much for that. But she does worry for Nikolai. And that it will simply be that much harder to rally against her husband one day.

reading my own stuff sucks bc I’m always like “the prose :/“

but anyway, yeah I think it’s really funny how he would absolutely have assassinated the Lantsovs anyway but now it’s primarily motivated by petty spite.

having Nikolai around is REALLY weird and messy for him, because a) he only has the one hostage to hold over her head now, so he really can’t touch him unless circumstances are very dire b) so that really prolonged meltdown he’s been having over Alina not liking him? even tho she’s otherwise dtf? well guess who she really likes and has always gotten along with! c) he also promised he’d like allow any liberties at all so he can’t keep them both locked up all the time shdgdd which would be shooting himself in the foot re: the miserable uphill battle of his own making in ever, ever making Alina like him! so he’s just going to simmer in jealousy 5ever

that being said, he’s not very good at keeping promises… case in point:

Alina had known there was trouble the moment he'd sent everyone but her away. And it was only a matter of time before the hunt for the amplifier began afresh. But it is still stunning to hear the news, seated across the oval table, staring at her husband's terribly calm face.

"You promised me," she says. "You said you would spare them."

"We need the tracker."

She grits her teeth. "If you hurt any one of them, I will fight you at every turn."

"Aren't you already?"

She stares at him in disbelief. "No. I do everything you ask."

"You keep saying that."

he’s like “of course following your friends around for the firebird doesn’t count :)”

anyway, about the rest of their argument, I think to an extent, genuinely, there’s no degree of submission Alina could ever offer that would be enough. part of that is his irrational desire for her like *preexisting* unconditional love, where he wants an impossible scenario where she simply never went against him or hated him for anything he did. but another part is again that she is currently keeping herself emotionally distant and it’s driving him slowly (more) insane.

"If you think this is me fighting you, I don't want to know your metric for cooperation. What more could you possibly want from me?"

His jaw clenches but he says nothing.

he wants her to love him!!! really bad!!!

(but he also wants to do next to nothing to earn that love/actively lashes out at her and presents *himself* as uncaring because being in a position to Feel Things and Want Affection makes him feel incredibly weak and he’s fucking angry about it.)

“Ensuring the safety of my friends was the key part of this agreement. Are you going back on your word?”

“I could,” he says, that gleam in his eye again. “What would you do? Run away?”

She stands, the chair legs screeching on the floor. “You bastard—”

He continues as if she hadn’t spoken, “I could, but I won’t. We find the firebird, and I will simply let them go again, is that enough for you, Alina?”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I’ve kept your Lantsov pup alive for this long haven’t I? And he was never even part of the agreement. Haven’t I been reasonable?”

She’s about ready to throw something at him. Perhaps to take one of the ridiculous stacks of paper he pores over often and hit him square in the face with it. She clenches her hands instead.

“It’s nothing to me whether a single otkazat’sya man dies, or ten, or a hundred. He will die eventually, to time or his own foolish choices, and it will be all the same to me. We, on the other hand, have an eternity between us. It’s time you considered that. We will outlive anyone else. The only thing that can kill us is another of our own power, Alina. You could fight me if you’re truly so stubborn, but time would simply bring you back to me again.”

The silence stretches on between them. He’s waiting for her response. How her outrage will finally boil over.

“Nothing to say, Alina?” The Darkling rests his chin in his hand, affecting boredom.

Alina circles the table to approach him. She only just catches a flash of something on his face, simple interest, perhaps apprehension. Wordlessly, she pushes him against the chair back, making room to perch on his lap. The voluminous skirts of her black kefta, it’s really a gown, spill over the chair.

He’s always so careful to school his features, to betray nothing. But she knows him now. She can identify the slightest hitch in his breath, the way he tenses.

so there’s a lot going on here but it’s dependent on the other stuff, so I’m posting a longer excerpt.

here, he does think that he’s been making an effort. like he DOES think he’s been generous and reasonable (lol) the audacity is legit. but also he’s fully goading her.

she’s just been quiet and in her own shell for a long time and he just wants her to fight him, or to show any real emotional reaction. the reaction mentioned at the end is a sort of wary interest, she’s finally *doing something* but also like… concealed desire. not even in an entirely sexual sense. again he’s just hungry for some sort of genuine emotional response from her.

"It must kill you," she says finally, barely drawing away, "how you must negotiate and bargain for a scrap of my attention."

She sees the rage flicker over his face, twist it into something ugly for just a moment, before his expression smooths again. "You seem to be under the impression that you have more bargaining power with me than you truly possess."

he keeps trying to affect indifference but like… bro… bro…. indifference is somewhat mutually exclusive from the Everything of your behavior.

Alina laughs. "For all your lofty years, and your experience, your supposed fathomless cunning. You have to keep me chained to your side and it eats at you, doesn't it?"

"What point are you trying to prove?"

"Do you love me, Aleksander? Or well. Do you think you do? Is this why you're playing this charade of marriage?"

His eyes are like chips of ice. "Go ahead, stamp your foot and lash out. It changes nothing.

"Does it hurt that I loathe you? I know it wounds your pride at least. Have you ever considered that your very best reason for me to turn to you is that on the grander scale everyone else I know is going to die?"

He hasn't let her go. He hasn't pushed her away. In fact his grip on her is bruising.

She lowers her mouth to his ear. "Have you considered that you're pathetic?"

anyway yeah she’s meant to be correct here lol. perhaps obvious and self explanatory but he hasn’t pushed her away because he’s fucking desperate 💖 a fact that makes him really mad!

He questions Nikolai for more information. For what connections they might have, where they might be going. Alina worries that she will have to intervene again. She worries that perhaps this will be the last tug the Darkling's patience needs, already stretched so thin, before it snaps.

But whatever happens behind the closed doors of the war room for nearly two hours, Nikolai emerges not seeming that much worse for the wear.

I really want to write this scene at some point. I don’t have very concrete ideas but I think the vibes are fucking insane. the two hours mention is meant to be mildly suggestive tbqh

It's a careful shot, calculated not to kill it, but only to incapacitate. She watches the firebird plummet to the ground. Blood blossoms from its plumage, the brightness of the color nearly obscene. Alina glances between it and the Darkling, who seems to be too preoccupied with savoring this victory to make the kill just yet. And her own guards have forgotten her. She will not have another chance, so she decides quickly.

The firebird is still struggling feebly when Alina aims the Cut at its slender neck.

She was expecting rage from the Darkling but he only glances back over his shoulder at her with something like weary amusement.

idk I think he’s into it. power hungriness is something he can understand and is therefore mildly quicker to forgive. it’s kind of like in R&R where he’s like “oh well I know you tried to kill me but that’s hot. there are two thrones up on that dais jsyk :)”

and like I think he would have been absolutely fine, but when it turns out that the firebird isn’t an amplifier he’s like “oh why would Alina ever exhibit anything as normal and understandable to me as a craving for power? clearly this was some sort of sabotage!”

And as terrible of an idea as it is, it isn't infrequent for her to search for solace in Nikolai's arms when the Darkling is away.

So it isn't even a surprise when she catches a glimpse of him through the tether. Just a flicker of shadow and slate gray eyes.

Typically their general surroundings don't quite appear in focus through the tether. But there would be no mistaking the tangled shape of her and Nikolai in bed.

"He knows," she whispers, dully.

he’s throwing the BIGGEST tantrum wherever he is. war crimes are probably being committed while he’s outwardly like “I don’t even care, why should it bother me?”

"You still need him," she insists. "You can't kill him."

"Do you only have the single song to sing? It's tiresome." He abandons her, looking bored. "Do you think I'm angry, Alina? Do you think I'm threatened by mere otkazat'sya? A king without a crown. A few decades and he will be dead. What is he to me? Take him on the dinner table for all I care. In fact, why don't you? I'd rather see what you've been doing behind my back. Lying is so distasteful, Alina."

They exchange unnerved glances. "You can't be serious."

"As death."

I think there’s a real element of spite and not wanting Alina to have any sort of private solace? beyond the jealousy, and being angry enough and insistent enough of his own apathy, that he’s like “lol why don’t you fuck on the table here and now!” there’s deliberate intent of inserting himself into the dynamic. of making it so that they cannot turn to each other without thinking of him.

he’s certainly angry and frustrated enough with both of them to be more than happy to have a threesome about it lol but that’s not the point of the scene. it’s more about power. of reasserting himself as the person in control of both of them.

the con is hm very dubbing here ngl. which is true of any consent given in captivity, but like there’s outright malicious intent here.

There's something about hate. It can calcify so easily into desire.

Applicable to all of them!

It's become a habit, the three of them. Alina wakes in her bed, all in a tangle. The Darkling is still asleep, an arm draped around her. Nikolai is on the other side of him, staring dully at the ceiling.

And she wonders what it means that he's careless enough to sleep in front of both of them now. How little of a threat he perceives them to be.

yeah he’s pretty content with his power over them and that they’re both simply not going to leave him!

he hasn’t gotten what he wanted in terms of a more genuine emotional connection. if anything things are more toxic now. but he’s steeled himself to that. at least rn he’s feeling secure in his control.

Alina considers what the Darkling said about her lifespan. About the lonely expanse of years ahead of her. She lets the shadow gutter out.

the irony is that Alina IS emotionally attached to him! he just refuses to believe it!

#this took me SO LONG #grishaverse #shadow and bone #darklina #darknikolina #alarkling #and I said to the star consume me #a string of words #*writer’s cap*#meta #all the bendy punctuations #a mysterious stranger has appeared #i ramble sometimes

6 notes · View notes

booasaur · 5 years ago

Photo

Wu Assassins (2019)

#wuassassinsedit #wu assassins #iko uwais #mark dacascos #lewis tan #katheryn winnick #li jun li #summer glau #femslash related stuff #flashing lights tw #flashing images tw #watching this trailer was a trip #recognizing the actors one by one #I'm not sure I understand why he has to take the appearance of mark dacoscos #but it's awesome that they have two SUCH accomplished actual fighters for these roles #hell and lewis tan #actually doesn't katheryn winnick have some black belt cred too #this is what iron fist should have been #also I don't have particularly high hopes about the f/f thing but...it was a positive surprise :D

1K notes · View notes

banqdanfnfic · 4 years ago

Text

which, as they kiss, consume | jjk

you just wanted to get a tattoo from your boyfriend

pairing: tattoo artist!jk x reader

genre: established relationships au, tattoo artist au, smut

word count: 4k

warnings: unprotected sex, biting, making out, grinding, licking, nipple play, jk has a lip ring, oral (f receiving), fingering, shy jk and oc, sexual tension, slight choking, slight aftercare

♫ : Streets by Doja Cat, Candy by Doja Cat

♡ Aesthetics: Playlist | Moodboard

He visibly chokes on his glass of beer as he almost snaps his neck to meet your gaze. He could say that you were awfully drunk and hence the sudden confession out of the blue, but behind your heavy lidded eyes, Jungkook could sense that you were serious.

“You what?”, he gulps abruptly, moving closer to your face, doe eyes pleading to repeat yourself.

“Yes Kook. I want that tattoo on my breasts. I’ve decided”.

It’s not that Jungkook didn’t have experience in his career with inking on different parts of a human body. He just had never given a tattoo to someone who is romantically associated with him and the thought of seeing you half naked made him chuck down the rest of his drink in one go.

The most physical he had ever gotten with you was a kiss shared occasionally since it’s only been over two weeks you had started dating. Okay maybe you made out once in his car but that’s it. It never got to the point of shedding clothes or anything intense.

“Are you sure?”

You giggle at the sudden hoarseness in his voice and nod positive. Ironic how his aura never matched his personality. His inked skin, athletic body proportions covered in black monochrome bad boy outfits gave out default energy that he is a local heartthrob with multiple chicks wrapped around his finger each night and a heavy demeanor to carry in his smirk.

You were one of those believers until Jungkook asked you out in the most hopeless romantic way possible after constantly visiting the café you work in, a few shops besides his parlor. He was a gentleman with respectful boundaries, warm hands to hold yours and sweet sensual kisses though you are pretty sure he probably has a good game.

For any outsider it looked like those cliché bad boy and shy girl love stories, but for real both of you were a good percentage of introverts.

Jungkook runs his tongue around his lip ring while he is stressfully ruffling his dark locks into a mess. He is trying to explain his reasons to postpone your decision considering how shy he got at this point. But then that’s exactly why you were requesting him with soft eyes, it would be so uncomfortable to be shirtless in front of anybody else. Or maybe it’s your way of saying the relationship is open for higher levels of physical affection.

After debating around in vain, he finally hums and clears one of his slots for his beloved client.

Friday approaches way quicker than you assumed and now your heart is beating in your throat. Right after you are done cleaning the tables, you have to make it to Jungkook’s parlor for your appointment.

Running on three hours of sleep, black under eyes even after a decent amount of makeup, you groan as you check yourself out in the mirror. You opted for a simple shirt and skirt (also known as the outfit you bought for occasions with Jungkook), light beach waves resting on your shoulders. Hoping that a few cups of coffee will save you, you stride across the street to stop before the infamous parlor he worked in. Hopefully the full body shave and chocolate body butter has kept its excellence on your skin below the clothing.

The door chimes as it opens with a dragged creak on the musky wooden flooring. It felt like an otherworld where air smelled like men’s perfume and faint tint of cigarettes. In other words, intoxicating.

You ask the first person you meet at the reception, one of Jungkook’s companions at the shop and he assists you to his cabin located at a comfortably remote location.

His space is hidden with a simple black curtain. You are met with Jungkook’s back facing you, working determinately on a client’s arm and cares to spare a glance only when the guy with you is informing him about your presence.

“This will be over in a few”, he grins to your face and goes back to focusing his coil on the skin of a woman in her late twenties laying down his chair. The vibration from his inking machine fills in the silence and you excuse yourself to sit on a small black couch beside them.

This was the first time watching him at work and now you can understand why people rumored so much about his attitude because damn it is intimidating.

Brows knit together and inked muscles flex as he drags the needles around for finishing touches. Meanwhile you can pretty much smell the drool from the woman who is shamelessly checking out your boyfriend. Though you are pretty sure Jungkook gets such glances more than he can count every day, you can’t help but feel jealous. Partly because of the childish possessiveness and partly because you want to be the reason behind his dark eyes and intricate concentration, in profession or not.

To stop from mentally throwing daggers on the client’s way, you grab a random fashion magazine from the side table and flip through pages, though other four senses are inclined on your man. With a close attention to his low sigh you conclude that he is done.

The customer with now a fresh tattoo on her arm is discussing random useless topics to get him to talk, a very vain job realizing how Jungkook doesn’t bat a friendly lash at anybody, especially to those who hit on him. To be honest a large part of the ink business was linked with the obsession to attractive people who worked here, even if it meant trading an area of your skin. You grip the edges of the magazine a bit hard, not able to contain the sanity particularly at the high pitch voice she mumbles in before finally leaving his cabin.

A little excited and a lot nervous, you stand up as Jungkook bids goodbye to the third person.

He is quick to notice your discomfort, though not sure if it was the woman or the thought of finally getting the tattoo, he knew you were nervous and surviving in several cups of espresso by the dark circles slowly showing through the faded layers of your concealer. But nothing pulls down the opinion he has about you, beautiful and simple, no dramatics attached.

“Hey are you okay?”

You nod as soon as you sit down on the black tattoo chair, shifting a little to find a comfortable position. He is taking out a box full of equipment and fine needles, already making you break a sweat at the side of your forehead.

But more than that, it’s the way he is sharp and professional that catches your attention more.

You have never seen Jungkook this serious before. The choice of his vetiver perfume digging through your nostrils was driving you insane. If he doesn’t smile soon, you are going to melt into a puddle at his gaze.

“Are you nervous?”, he smirks this time, a newfound reason for your worsening gut health.

It’s mostly going in cycles at this point. Every bit of his skilled motion causes a vigorous hormonal reaction which initiates his next set of effortless teasing.

“I’m a little nervous”, you say, fiddling with your freshly painted nude nails.

“Me too”

It’s something you least expect to come out of his mouth observing how confident he looks right now. He basically has you cornered with his gaze. But whenever he had been truthful about his emotions it felt like a hug.

“I can take off my shirt too, so that we are even. Is that okay?”

He said it so softly like he is handling a child and the duality of the situation had your mind fogged and limbs frozen for a few minutes.

“Yeah it’s okay” It’s far beyond than okay. It’s great actually.

Jeon Jungkook is ripped, a Greek God sculptured masterpiece covered in self designed artwork you are more than happy to wake up to every morning. He hears you gulp at the feast before your eyes while he discards his black t-shirt to a nearby chair.

Now you don’t know if this whole thing is supposed to warm your heart or make you play several erotic fantasies like a movie before your eyes.

Both of you share a small smile while his long fingers are tugging at the hem of your shirt and pulling it up over your head.

He almost wishes you don’t opt to wear a bra but he is met with lacy black, a-bit-over your-usual-budget fabric hugging the roundness of your breasts.

It seemed like you were way too competitive about today. Anything less than complete awe from Jungkook for you was straight disappointment, you don't want anything less.

Well it seems like it did from how blown his pupils were at this point. He peels his gaze off your chest with a sharp gulp to look at your eyes suddenly devoid of any fear and staring back at him with all ease. He is filled with an exapnse of warmth and he isn't sure why does spending just a little amount of time with you had such a grip on him. He can’t wait to propose the idea of getting a couple tattoo together soon and as far as you know how Jungkook is, he is very serious with his body art so apparently he does trust you a lot already.

“Where exactly are you trying to get it?”, his voice is a lot deeper suddenly as he waits for your fingers to guide to his canvas.

You softly trace the spot at the upper circumference of your right boob, “Here”.

You suck a breath through your nose as his own fingers are mimicking your gesture, lightly pulling down the lace to inspect the fitting of the design at hand.

These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder

Jungkook traces each word on your burning skin, now leaning dangerously close which was questioning your control to put your palms flat on his pecs. He doesn’t notice that though, his mind is busy creating his own fantasies about the women under him.

After two minutes and twenty four second long of inspection and mutual thirst, Jungkook is selecting a bunch of needles to set into the rotary machine. Five fine sharp like a painter's brush moves in and out at a set regularity as Jungkook tests it out.

The next of his actions had you flushed into a pool of crimson. He gently lifts up your resting torso with one hand while the other is unclasping the hook of your bra, making you half naked for the sake of the tattoo.

"I'm going to start", he says shyly.

You still have time to save yourself from the growing phobia for the object, but another unlogical part of your brain says it's a piece of cake considering you have a whole distracting full course meal in front of you.

It stings at first. Well, okay it hurts like hell but your face is devoid of any indication, except your right hand is gripping on the rim of the chair for dear life.

Jungkook on the other hand had never felt this much diversion of mind during his work. He knows that you are probably hurting very badly, especially for a first timer. He is biting into his lip ring, trying to get this over with for the well-being of your pain and his hormones.

After he had scribed one word into your dermis, you are no longer able to contain the ache so you give out a small squeak out of your glossed lips and the vibration of the machine at his hands stops as he looks at you.

"You want me to stop? ", he is relaxing his face as he cups yours with one hand. You don't want to answer that question, but the drumroll of the current situation is making your heart flutter and everything about the little burn on your chest is forgotten.

"No. It does hurt but I'll be fine I guess", you whisper. His breath is mixing with yours slowly as he is leaning more towards your face. If it isn't for a kiss then you are likely to be disappointed.

"It'll be over before you know it. I'll make it quick", and then he kisses you, a small act to get off the pressure of sexual tension between your bare upper bodies.

Before you think of any tongue in the act, he is breaking off the contact and returns to his position on your chest. He misses the pout that forms on your mouth but right now both of your heads are in cloud nine.

The pain starts again, only this time you are busy reliving how his lips felt in yours; soft, firm and controlled.

You gasp when you feel one of his hands cupping your right breast to further his design but it's lowkey an act empowered by lust which is straining behind the so called professional eyes.

You just sit there flustered out of your mind and then Jungkook is suddenly squeezing, full palm hiding your breasts like it's a protected treasure, but he isn't showing the slightest facial expression other than determined eyes and his lower lip caught between his teeth.

Fuck you can't take it anymore. Jungkook can feel your nipples harden against his hand and his brain isn't helping much to concentrate on the design. But by the grace of some positive karma left on his side, he makes it through the long text and when he is letting go of your chest and standing tall, your skin is popping out with redness on the places the text lays embedded.

He fishes out a mirror for you to look.

"It looks beautiful thank you Jungkook", you smile.

"Can I give you one more tattoo on your left one?", he asks while you are contemplating whether going through the pain is worth it, not to mention you really want to get back at a private space with Jungkook as soon as possible.

"It won't hurt I promise", and then he is kissing you a lot filthier than before; all tongue and teeth, while his hands are grazing on the skin of your waist, pressing a little firmer than before.

The coldness of his lip ring rivaled around your mouth, and you try sucking on it to which Jungkook responds with a growl and pushes his body adamantly against yours.

Skin to skin, you are lost in euphoria of everything happening and finally, you roam your eager hands around his body, to his pecs and the definition of abs.

As your fingers scraped against his scalp, Jungkook is biting eagerly down your jawline to your collarbone and continues his ministrations at a particular spot which is bringing out melodic moan variation from you.

He is going down your skin, licking on your left boob before he starts planting violet tattoos as he had promised. As if it couldn't get better, he is massaging the right breast, in a way to soothe pain.

He loses it when you stutter his name, but he is just a fucking tease when it comes to making love and doing anything in a public space is the last thing he wants to do. There isn't much room for all that he wants right now.

"Why did you choose this particular tattoo Y/n?", he rasps while he is planting small pecks on his artwork, and you reply when he is finally eye level with you

"I just felt like it's a good one", your breaths are uneven and mostly caught in your neck. He pecks your lips before speaking, "Those are lines from Romeo and Juliet".

He takes your hands to trace over a line of text among the many designs on his chest.

which, as they kiss, consume

"We pretty much have a couple tattoo now Y/n", his breath is matched with your pace and you are not very sure how to respond to this new knowledge.

"That's… hot"

You break into giggles along with him, he just can't stop dragging his lips around your skin, but he isn't able to word his feelings right now either.

"I have some aftercare healing ointment for the tattoo at my place, wanna come over?" Now that may be a little lame of an excuse to get his little friend out of his pants but you are too unfazed to analyse any of that.

His hands find place on your ass under the skirt as soon as the door to his apartment closes, and before you know it, you are in his bedroom, sitting on the soft mattress and tongue lost devouring each other.

While eagerly getting rid of every article of clothing, Jungkook notices that you don't have your bra on beneath the shirt, so it's probably back at the parlour, but none of you have the slightest care for it, might as well make an excuse with it later to fuck you in his cabin.

He is pushing you farther towards the headboard, him on top, grinding sensenslesy while your lips mould with his. Though he has his whole body pressed against you, you can't seem to feel his weight at the slightest, every one of his actions were just balanced and perfect.

As Jungkook goes down on you, his smile is evident against your skin, finally able to find out how every one of those scenarios in his head will come to look like. He lets out a satisfied hum being finally able to suck on your tits, your fingers finding place on his hair, twisting it out of stimulation.

His pelvis is flushed harshly against yours, grinding and rubbing against your pussy for as long as he is rejoicing the feeling of moving his tongue around both the nipples.

He stops rubbing after some point and you whimper at the loss but his fingers are soon to meet your core as a quick apology. All your later moans are muffled on his mouth once again.

Feeling the controlled movements of his fingers on your clit, you dig your nails down on his toned shoulders. It's becoming impossible to reciprocate his lewd movements of tongue on your lips at this point as the excitement between your thighs is growing every passing second.

Your mouth remains slightly parted as he removes his face to watch you squirm underneath, lips swollen, deep red and glossy from all the saliva.

He pecks at the shell of your ear before going down past your navel.

You haven't had much heads in the twenty years of your life, most of the guys being completely against the idea which made you feel insecure to bring up the topic in bed, but Jungkook does it like his life depends on it.

He growls at the sight of you dripping into his sheets and he seems to enjoy the idea of being the influence behind it. But none is going through your head at the moment, not the metal on his lips grazing against your folds, or the fact that Jungkook is grinning each time you cry his name, it feels unreal to feel something like this.

His mouth is wrapping against your entrance and he is balancing your lower body on his palms to help him reach the right depths inside you. While all you can muster up is the strength to grope the bedsheets in your fist and close your eyes at the pleasure.

Jungkook brings his head higher to give some attention to the throbbing clit, catching it between his teeth and triggering the bundle of nerves just the perfect dose to have your hips jolting up to his face.

He can't take it himself when you are now whining and chasing for your release, so he is slightly humping against the bed to get some friction.

He licks a slow stripe up till your abdomen and slowly raises to your face, already fucked out and dishevelled to keep up with his dominant orbs.

He swears he had never felt so much warmth and care for sex with any of his previous partners, in relationship or not, all he could think is how good can he treat the pleading eyes underneath him.

"Is there something you like that you want me to do?", he says, fingers grazing once again to your crotch to not deny you from his contact. Only this time he is exploring the tightness of your pretty cunt with two skillful fingers.

Is there? You are not sure. Or in other words you are too caught up at the sense of him fingering you. It's not like you had enough experience or people who cared enough to ask that question. It astounds you that never in this entire foreplay he asked for any favor for himself.

"I'm not sure…", you whisper and then maybe you have something on your mind " um I guess I would like to be choked" Okay this felt embarrassing.

He smiles before sliding his free hand from your lips to your neck, and applies slight force, careful to not hurt you in the slightest bit.

"Is that fine?"

"Yeah", you muffle through the decreasing course of air.

He pulls up your face by the throat to attach lips once more. He just can't seem to get enough of kissing you senseless. Then, the tip of his long ignored cock is teasing the length of your pussy twice before it's stretching you out to the brim.

Bodies flushed and hot, his pace is deep and slow, making sure to kiss the cervix every time he is inside.

He watches as your eyes close shut and flutters around whenever he is grazing against your sweet spot. Both of your ears lost and eager for the moans looming out of each other, his more like what he sounds at the gym. Nice observation Y/n.

In this span of sexual energy you shared, you can make some obvious conclusions. Sex with him was surreal, both in terms of domination and the care he had. Rocking against him and keeping up with his hips was attainable— Compared to the intense eye contact he tries to hold, or the way he cups the side of your face and rubs the pad of his thumb on your cheeks while he kisses you during sinking back in, or the way his eyes glow at the beauty of your body open for him. It makes you feel special and it's difficult to respond to these gestures when you never felt this way before.

Jungkook could tell that from your face, but he hopes he lasts with you enough to help you know the worth you hold. You couldn't think too much about anything when you are busy squeezing around his length and coming twice in the first ten minutes.

By the third orgasm Jungkook is nearing his own and he pulls out to pump a few times before coming on your stomach.

"Was it okay?", his voice is all over the place, still balancing his body on his arms while you are amazed by his strength.

"It was amazing Jungkook", you smile. You have known a lot about Jungkook over the few dates you spent with him. That he likes literature, classics and philosophy, designs tattoos as a subconscious thing, that his game is A-1, and he likes working out almost three hours a day. Good for you. But it wasn't until now you know him to be gentle, like he is afraid to crush you under a feather touch. You don't know him as someone who is staring deep into your face after a good fuck, speaks nothing, smiles widely, and plants a peck on your forehead before getting off the bed.

He does the honors of cleaning both of your bodies with a towel, it's not like you have any strength left in you anyway. And then pulls out an ointment from the bedside table and plops next to your body.

"There. You need this to protect the tattoo", he takes off the nozzle and applies a required amount against the words on your chest and massages against them.

"Now go to sleep Juliet", he mocks, pulling up the sheets over you both "good night".

You snuggle against his hard chest, kissing his pecs before resting on it, "Good night Romeo".

thank you so much for reading!! please leave a feedback!!

★ taglist: @pjmochii (dm, ask or comment to enter the tl!)

★ credits: @/rainbeary on spotify : songs that'll make you feel everything's in slow motion playlist

★ banner & boards: by me :)

a/n: this is my first time writing smut and i basically died of second hand embarrassment during the process. pardon for my untalented ass, i tried this wip continuously for a week and i seriously don't think it could get anything better though it's probably not much.

1K notes · View notes

the-slasher-files · 4 years ago

Text

OC: ANDREI KULOKOVA - NSFW ALPHABET

18 + ahead. Andrei is a freak and I cannot stop thinking about him so he needed this post badly.. hope you enjoy 🔪💕

MASTERLIST

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Usually Andrei is very attentive after sex, especially after a particularly rough session. He will clean you of any blood, kiss your bruises and cuts, stroke your hair and call you his perfect little mouse.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His own favorite body part would have to be his hands and his teeth. Andrei’s hands are very skillful, and he likes to work with them any chance he gets either for murder or for love. The man has extremely sharp canine teeth that he loves to bite, plus Andrei knows it makes him sexier and more animalistic.

Andrei loves his partners neck and back. He goes wild if you have short hair or have your hair up, he will just sit there watching your back and neck as you make him dinner, loving how the muscles move and flex, adoring every bone in your back rise and fall, they’re just so breakable. It feeds his feral side if he sees you faulting the mark he has given you.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

This boy likes it messy, big time messy. It is almost like an animalistic desire to see you covered in him and even yourself, if you mix a little blood in there too, oh boy, you’ve unlocked feral Andrei. He does also have a huge breeding kink and he will fill you up one thousand times over, finger you watching it ooze and drip, then rubbing it all over you and him. Andrei is nasty. He might even eat you out while your dripping his cum out of you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He secretly wants to be a sub but it will take a long, long time for him to get there and be comfortable being a switch. Andrei loves his partners to ride him and that is his submissive side wanting to be released, but he will always act as if he is in control.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Andrei is defiantly experienced in sex, but in a relationship, that’s a bit different. He is very good at sex and he knows it, but he tends to be a little selfish and loose himself, just jackhammering into you. Often Andrei has “fun” with his prey and has paid more than he would like to admit for a good time.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary, doggy or having his partner ride him. Missionary is by far his favorite, Andrei wants, needs, to feel you writhe under him, he wants you to look him in the eyes as you cum, and feeling your pulse under his fingers.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Andrei is a very serious man in every way, and sex is often very intense, there is no room or enough air to laugh, but after a long time of being together he has a strange silly side to him. Especially if you catch him off guard with a joke he doesn't quite understand, "You are interesting little mouse" or Andrei's sadistic humor comes out when you jump a little too much at the flick of his knife.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Andrei is not a hairy man by any means, so he is very fortunate enough to let his hair go and it is still only a medium amount of hair. Not overly long, curly light brown, but he likes to keep it under control for the most part. Andrei also has a little treasure trail.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Now Andrei has no clue how to be romantic, it is never something anyone had ever shown him, so keeping you alive, living together and sex is his romance. Andrei is very intense in the bedroom and will kiss and love you there but outside of the bedroom, you might have to help him. Intimacy can be hard because he is very touched starved, the small touches and gentle kisses is something that is hard for him, so don’t be mad if you go hold Andrei’s hand and he pulls away. You need to teach him a lot in this department. His favorite thing is holding you though, either sweeping you off your feet or holding you on his lap, man loves it.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Andrei is a horny man who is gone a lot from home so of course he jacks off. Sometimes even if you’re at home he will call you into the bedroom and will just be fisting his cock smirking at you

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

This guy has so so many but his top favorites are blood, breath play, knives, predator/prey, breeding, daddy, fear play and bondage. He is a creative man with a lot of time on his hands.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Andrei will literally take you anywhere he damn pleases, from the field to the abandoned buildings to any surface in the house. He lives in the middle of nowhere so why bother trying to hide.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

This guy is horny 89% of the time, so just always watch your back for the wolf lurking in the house. Your new pair of jeans that hug your ass just right? careful. Batting your lashes when looking up at him? watch out. If you really want him to get going, get yourself something sliky and lacy that puts your body on display, straddle his lap with one of his knives in hand, holy shit Andrei will lose it.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Andrei honestly doesn't have many no's and he will try it at least once before saying no. Absolutely no mommy kinks, given his past. Humiliation is a big no, he will never do it to you and you should never do it to him. Overly dominating him in his life, if you are worthy enough to see his sub side only use that in the bedroom, if you take that into every day life by ordering him around or asking for certain tasks done he is going to be very annoyed and pissed off. With you Andrei only wants a few simple things like cleaning his house, making him dinner and cuddling on the couch, other than that you are a free person, he won't try to really control you much. Just don't be stupid by leaving or putting yourself in danger or else his control and overbearingness comes out.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Now Andrei loves to see his s/o writhe, whimper and beg for him. It's an animalistic need. And he is stupidly perfect with his tongue and his hands are extremely skillful. You will have a great time with him going down on you, just watch his teeth if he gets too carried away and he loves to tease and edge so he might be down there a while. However Andrei doesn't go down on you too often because he knows he just that good, and he's an ass. But if you thought just because he doesn't go down on you often means you are off the hook?? Nope. He has a huge thing for getting his dick sucked and he's going to make you do it constantly.. sorry.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Andrei is a delicious, addicting mix of both in a way. He might edge and tease with foreplay for hours but the wolf is going to intensely and roughly ruin you, but if he is switches positions with you he likes to take it slow for a minute just watching you, praising and stroking your hair, probably wiping a tear or blood away, then back to impaling you. It's a true battle between the wolf and Andrei all they time.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He is a big fan, mainly just because he is horny a lot and has a lot of work to do. It's and instant anger/stress relief for him. But at the end of the day if you can quiet his mind enough Andrei enjoys watching you to crumble slowly under his hands and go for a long, long session.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He is an ex soldier and mercenary, of course he's a risk taker. Andrei, like I said before, likes to try stuff at least once before saying no. Also being with him everyday is a risk in general, with all his knives and blood obsession.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This guy has stamina for days. You would think with all the cigarettes he smokes he would be dead in 10 minutes, but boy were you wrong. His hunts can go on for 10 hours or more sometimes, so you are at least in for 3-5 rounds at a time. If Andrei has been gone on a mission for a month or so and comes home you are not leaving the bedroom (or where ever he wants to fuck you) for at least 2 days.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He doesn't necessarily like toys to make you or himself cum but for teasing he will totally be down for it. Andrei rather just use his mouth or hands. Skin on skin is what he likes.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Andrei adores teasing so much, he wants to break you down, bulid you back up then pick you apart again and again. He will put a plug in you all day just making sure you're ready for whenever he chooses to come home. Edging you is his favorite past time, he will do it until you cry and he will wipe the tears away and say "you're so beautiful myshka"

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He is not very talkative in his everyday life but man is a huge dirty talker when getting into it. He also produces wolf like growls deep within his throat creating the most sinful and sexual noise you had ever heard

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Silly drunk Andrei is my personal favorite, and it doesn't happen often at all so take it and run with it. He will start Russian dancing and almost failing over telling you watch him and learn, its very serious to him that you watch. He will also start singing old Russian songs from his childhood, loudly and wildly. Love and cherish this Andrei.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Man is a big boy all the way through, even below the belt. A good 7 inches and thicker than average. Circumcised with a beautiful rosey head, and 2 large veins running the length.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Man wants to go literally all the time. He has an inhuman sex drive. If you just tell him you want him Andrei drops everything and bends you over the nearest surface.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Andrei has a hard time sleeping and winding down. His active mind just will not stop, so he really enjoys just watching you sleep on his chest, being gentle with his hands along your body and in your hair. If you don't fall asleep very fast either now is the perfect time to talk with him, get stories of his missions, Russian folk tales, funny stories about his brothers in the military and brutal childhood. He just wants someone to share his pain and his love with at the end of the night. Run your hands along his scars and in his hair while you're at it and you will have tamed a wolf.

#oc #my writing #alphabet #Andrei Kulokova #slasher #oc stuff

105 notes · View notes

saraseo · 4 years ago

Text

0 notes

abadmeanman · 8 years ago

Note

Something that continues to bother me about "in which we establish the directory" is that marinette says "I don't want to have sex," aaaand... then they have sex. Usually with straight people saying stuff like that I guess they mean sex that involves a penis + a vagina or sex that involves penetration. But the sex they had meets both those criteria. Either way, that was sex. If that wasn't sex no people with similar genitals have ever had sex (which would make me a virgin 😱). (Continued...)

(Cont.)… I don’t know if you’re straight or where you’re coming from, but ya, the way you used the word sex there just felt really straight. Which is disappointing because porteboner tends to be really good about The Gay™. Also, where were the condoms in all this? Adrien and Marinette were about to have P in V sex before Marinette said she wasn’t ready and in none of that time were condoms ever involved. It’s important to include condoms within the narrative of any healthy sexual encounter.

This got long, so let’s see if I can get a read more in here.

There we go. So:

I see what you mean with this critique, and I’ll definitely grant that it’s coming from a pretty much straight cisboy perspective. I am like 95% straight, but I try to be good about this kind of thing (thanks for telling me that I’m doing okay!). That being said, my intention at the time, and my interpretation while rereading this scene was different than yours, and I’d like to give that here.

So, some setup. It’s been a running joke-slash-foundational conceit of the story that the “baseball metaphor” for hooking up has been replaced by events in the timeline of the French Revolution. I’m specifically talking about this, from chapter 4:

“Let’s do it like the French Revolution! So the Fall of the Bastille is kissing, the Reign of Terror is feeling up, the Directory is touching each other’s… uh…” Adrien blushed. “And First Consul Bonaparte is f…fout… fornicating.”

The baseball metaphor is obviously fucking worthless and biased towards a hetero cis experience, with a generous dash of the male gaze. That’s part of why I chose the French Revolution–if you’re going to see sexual acts as existing on a continuum, one with essentially infinite points and interpretations along the continuum is obviously better than first, second, third base and home plate. Sex is less orderly than the baseball metaphor, and like a few hundred words down from that quote, Mylene dismantles the concept that even the loose matching of Bastille = kissing, Reign of Terror = groping, falls apart, immediately. She cites a historical event that is objectively AFTER the revolution. So from the get-go, chapter 4, I establish that I’m going to be using this absurd metric.

Also, Nath brings up a working definition of “sex” and defines it like this in chapter 23:

“Never have I ever had sex. I mean, like, pelvis on pelvis sex. Whatever you figure counts. I-I’m a virgin, I guess is what I mean.” Presumably, pastries wielded by Alix didn’t count.

This is a construct, and I tried to make it very clear that I was aware of that, while still keeping the conceit of the French Revolution.

So, from Marinette and Adrien’s perspective, we’ve got a more or less working definition of capital-S Sex from within the story, twice, as well as the bullshit but widely-acknowledged-as-meaningful definition you get from societal superstructures.

What I meant when Marinette said “We… can’t have sex tonight” was taking those three things into account. French Revolution metaphor, Nath’s definition, and society at large. She’s thinking PIV sex, and I thought that was pretty clear in the context. I know it’s not perfect, but I also don’t think that I’m failing to think about this at all. The title of that chapter is “In which we establish the directory,” after all. That already places the sexual contact on a pre-defined continuum. I know it’s a flawed continuum, but it’s the one I’m using for story purposes, and we’re currently dealing with cis-hetero acts. What’s important is that she and Adrien are not defining what they do as sex.

I also don’t see them as about to have PIV sex–the way I meant that scene to read was “oh fuck our position slipped and while this is nice we really should put our respective pelvises in a different region from the other pelvis involved.” Here’s the scene:

In the midst of her ministrations, while their bodies had temporarily stopped mashing against each other, Adrien’s minute hand migrated from high noon to 6 o’clock. Slipped away from her belly, it nestled comfortably between Marinette’s legs, teasing her with its firmness right there on her personal bijou -bevel. She could feel the full length of him sliding gently back and forth across her lips, bringing a delightful direct coil of warmth to sudden life inside her.

So there was contact, but not penetration. Feels nice, but not First Consul Bonaparte, not to them. And it was accidental, and they stopped.

That was my intention when writing this scene, and looking back on it, I still think it works.

As far as condoms go, condom use is definitely going to be in the fic. I’m from Texas, but I’m not THAT from Texas.

The sexual encounters portrayed before chapter 26 in this fic have either been distant from the POV characters (the various hookups at Marinette’s party), accidental and clothed (Marinette accidentally straddling Adrien during brunch), or within a fluidbonded relationship (Marinette walking in on Alya and Nino). For those reasons, condoms weren’t explicitly mentioned. In chapter 26, neither Marinette nor Adrien went into the shower being like “hell yeah gonna have some unprotected hetero PIV intercourse”; using the definition of “sex” I described above, they both knew they were going to do something sexual, but not have penetrative sex. So, neither brought condoms.

Safe sex is incredibly important, and I’d like to think that I’m mostly modeling pretty good relationship and sexual practices in Porte-Boner. Not perfect, but that’s not what I’m going for. I’m not convinced that a trusting, established relationship that involves sharing sexual fluids requires condoms to be healthy, particularly if the relationship is monogamous.

This position of mine at least partially springs from the fact that I’ve been in a fluidbonded polyamorous relationship of three people until very recently. So because of that, my perspective may not be the same as yours. But I’m also not going to agree with your claim that “It’s important to include condoms within the narrative of any healthy sexual encounter.” Condoms are good, and valuable, and condom use should be encouraged. However, the absence of a condom does not automatically make a sexual encounter unhealthy. I’d rather see consensual, informed, birth-control-involving sex without a condom than any abusive relationship dynamic, no matter how much safer sex is involved. I’m trying to focus on the relationship here, not the mechanics of boning down. So that is my perspective. I’m talking within established, respectful, positive relationships here. Cruising for randos, you should definitely be using barrier protection.

Lastly, I apologize for taking a while to reply to this message. I got it right as my relationship was breaking apart, and I couldn’t really bring myself to address your many valid concerns in any great length. And because they were good and valid, I wanted to give them a good addressing.

I hope this helps you see where I’m coming from in Porte-Boner. Let me know if you’ve got further concerns.

#Porte-Boner #themostgayagenda #a bad mean man asks #safer sex #my writing #pulling back the bonercurtain #discourse? i guess?#not really

18 notes · View notes