#also I can't fucking draw coherent clothes for the life of me again

[s0ull3ss-p3rs0n]

Garmadon you fucking dumbass atleast tell Lloyd how Oni biology works before you introduce him to his in-his-mind-biologically-impossible sister

[butchsophiewalten]

Man this is so random but this theory is stuck in my head and I wanna see how other people feel about it because I don't see people talk about it a lot (I have no clue if the link will go through properly since I've never put a link in a ask box)

https://www.tumblr.com/art-w0rm/667910993425350656/theory-time

Oh god not this theory again. I really truly try not to be mean to people for no good reason on this blog, but this theory is literally one of the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen in my entire life. I don't talk about this theory because to me it's like the walten files theory equivalent of that tubby custard mechanically separated chicken post.

Most of the time I genuinely don't even consider it worthy of my time, because it's nonsense, but this is a very nicely worded ask, and I really don't mean to dedicate any of the vitriol I hold towards this theory to You, poor anonymous person, so I will deconstruct it. I will go through the theory point-by-point and deconstruct why I disagree with it.

First up, this:

Showbear is not a character in The Walten Files anymore. Showbear was fully retconned and is never going to appear in the series again. He was effectively just a cameo of ThunderingStatic's (one of Martin's friends) OC, but when The Walten Files blew up and people started assuming Showbear was Martin's character, Static decided to withdraw his character from the series and focus putting him in other projects.

Martin talked about this on Twitter forever ago, but I wouldn't be able to find that tweet now. But here's a bit from the interview he did with KnowYourMeme back in 2021 where he talks about it:

Now this:

This is just stupid to me? Like a complete logical incongruity? I barely even know how describe what is dumb about this because I can't even fathom how anyone draws this conclusion from this information. How is it strange for a man to say 'if my wife isn't home by the time she said she was going to be, let me know, in case something happened.'????? Why would Rosemary be out cheating on her husband with her fucking daughter with her??? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would her whole life collapse when he went missing? If Rosemary was cheating on her husband why would she show up at the restaurant every day after he disappeared asking if anyone had seen him and hoping to find him alive??? Why would she make paintings of herself and him together after he disappeared????? What the fuck are you talking about?

Ok now this:

Whatever. This is maybe the most coherent part of the theory, to me. I definitely agree that Sha evokes a 'wolf in sheep's clothing' sort of aesthetic, but I do remember Martin saying something in a Twitter Q&A at one point about how that wasn't actually intentional, and that Bon was the character he actually meant to seem unusually predatory. I looked for a while and couldn't find a screenshot of that, but I did find this one where he says the thing about Bon:

So whatever. take that with a grain of salt.

I don't even know what to say. here. Whatever. sure she was rolling in the hay

yeah Rosemary is asking if she's still beautiful because she cheated on her husband and not because she was chopped up and stuffed inside a big animatronic sheep. I think this is correct and is the True Deep Lore.of the walten files. I'm sure this doesn't have anything to do with the recurring motif of the double-meaning behind the word Beautiful either.

I don't know why it's weird that the lost lingering spirit of a mother would be calling out to her only living child. I Don't know why that needs additional explanation involving this batshit infidelity conspiracy theory.

Sha's chest is also ripped out

So is Banny's, honestly? Just a little less?

ok now this:

I guess I can't disprove this except that I think this is dumb. I think this is a really incredibly stupid logical leap to make. Y'know I really meant to go into this levelheadedly and very calmly go through every point and talk about why I think it's Decisively Disagreeable or whatever but I can't. I really can't. I just cannot keep my patience with this sort of thing.

You'd think if there was an infidelity aspect here it would've been lampshaded in some respect, at all, in the old /sophiewalten findjackwalten page text. Where it's literally Sophie talking to Jenny about what she remembers about her family.

Especially if the idea is that Sophie is meant to have been there. You'd think something like that would have come up here. Not 'she was nice and a good mom until my dad disappeared and her mental health started getting worse'

[ivomartins]

(HS anon here turning into the SoCN anon for a bit.)

Usually I would go for someone like Livius he's a short king a refuse to accept he's taller than Evthys. Dude is the sweetest in the friendship route like omg they are besties and they have Friendship. Necklaces. 🥺💕

And usually I don't go for the... "Toxic" LI; most of the time they annoy me, not because they are eViL, but because they act like spoiled babies and I can't take them seriously.

But Amen... Ah, Amen. I'm obsessed with this Giant Motherfucker™. He's creepy; he's pathetic; he's awful, him big; he's an asshole; he looks fashionable great in purple, but black/red is not his colour. And absolutely no one in the story likes him except Evthys. And yet he acts like a gentle giant with my girl, and he has the cutest smile like, what the fuck that's illegal. Everything about their relationship is so disturbing and sensual at the same time, I can't help but be intrigued. Like, big boy was holding Evthys' hand and wanted to kiss her fingers and nails, and then next scene he's torturing someone by pulling their nails/fingers. That's just so fucked up and I. Love. It.

And it bothers me that the author, instead of accepting that yeah, dude is a monster. She goes, nooooo but he's bored by torture, he's not that baaaaad. Really? Why does he have a favourite tool then? Make it make sense! He's literally like, oh I gotta get the old and reliable Betty to torture this person hehe.

Also, I'm obsessed with the fact that Amen saw Evthys and he was like "I can fix her". Same, dude, same.

KJFDGKDFHG supreme epistates who? i only know him as Giant Motherfucker™ now

random fangirling i just want to throw out there before i'm forced to revert back to coherent thought: his supreme epistates outfit has rotted my brain and i genuinely consider him the hottest character in the book (after evthys) bc of that outfit alone + his smile is lovely but can we please talk about his SAD FROWN??? and his doubtful expression when he's looking to the side??? or how hot he is when he has his hood pulled up??? PLEASE

but ok see, my thing is... i love all these qualities about amen too and love him as a character but overall i'm just turned off by how sterile his scenes are in their passion like. i get that the attraction between him and evthys is so wild it completely consumes them but ?? where is the intimacy, where is the genuine connection, where is the emotional core that makes their scenes more than just boner-riddled smut lol like... i would really love to know what he loves about evthys aside from her feistiness and bomb ass body. i would love to see them have moments that boil down to something other than wanting to rip the clothes off each other

i mean amen only won me over when things got really candid and intimate between them when he was supporting evthys through her grief (their hurt/comfort deadass made me go insane) and i was really looking forward to seeing them build on that and develop more trust and just get closer beyond a physical sense but everything just keeps boiling down to physical attraction :\ and that's the only reason why livius is a tick above amen for me rn because that bitch was out here literally "bringing the colors back into her life"??? being her rock through everything that's happening??? seeing through evthys' bullshit and truly knowing her as if they've always been close???

like when we do get that shit w amen, we get it good like when he held evthys on the riverbank or when he kept fussing over her health and her skill as a scribe out of genuine concern for her future or when he added that flirty ass comment on her godawful drawing 😭 so i'm desperately manifesting that remy will get her shit together and start giving us more of that instead of boiling everything down to horniness because. i would love to go insane over amen again ngl

[demonfamilytherapist]

Diavolo's lack of character progression is one of the main reasons I ignore the canon story. His flaws were easy to ignore at the start when his role wasn't so prevalent. But know? I can't engage in the story lessons because my MC would never tolerate such bullshit without snapping.

Oh, we're locked in a karaoke bar and forced to sing? And you're telling me THE PRINCE can't break the magic curse? Yeah no, I'm calling bullshit and using a pact to order brother to tear down the door.

Boogieman in the hotel? Again, you're the strongest demon out here it should take you a second to deal with that. I'm not traumatizing my boys even further.

Place at the Student Council? So I can see you even more? HAH! Fuck you.

And that's without touching any event stuff and lesson 16 with the whole "Your death is in the past let's celebrate my birthday!"

I try to be fair to all the characters, including ones I didn't like initially. But... Diavolo makes it hard for me. Also, it's super late and a frog won't shut up outside my house, so I apologise for any lack of coherency here.

I think as a character, Diavolo can be very interesting. I have a whole OC that exists to draw attention to his privileged and lonely life and also romance Levi I would like to see him get more genuine development, but it's tough when you've only got 20 chapters spread between 14 characters. As he is now though, I struggle to see his appeal as a romance option. I feel as though he has the potential to be a good leader and he genuinely seems to not want to hurt anyone, but... well, you know what they say about good intentions.

The karaoke incident seems like part of a larger writing issue where the powers of the demons (and angels) are generally pretty inconsistent. Diavolo can make an entire fake sun but can't break out of a karaoke room, Levi can't climb a wall or run 100m without getting winded but he presents a significant physical threat to us in early chapters, everyone is generally as strong or weak as the plot demands them to be.

But the bogeyman incident. I love Solomon but Solomon and Diavolo both got on my shit list for that one. MC was protected by Luke's blessing, but Asmo, Belphie, and Beel shouldn't have had to face their traumas/fears (also Asmo's being played for laughs kind of but... it's his very real insecurity) for the sake of our test. Satan at least had both Lucifer's and MC's support through his. It's weird that the one test that actually amounted to a real challenge was more of a challenge for our demons than us.

And the student council. What are we going to do? What is our actual role planned to be? Are we going to be another accessory member like... all the brothers but Lucifer, with no real voting power but random responsibilities? Are we expected to be another Diavolo yes-man?

I feel like throughout the whole story, Diavolo is shielded from consequences, especially by Barbatos. The first time he seemed to have a mistake shoved in his face was S2, where Lucifer suffered the consequences of Diavolo keeping secrets (Yes it wasn't directly Diavolo's fault, but if Diavolo had been more transparent from the start Lucifer could've helped out in the research or possibly recognised what was happening to him). In S3 he seems to sort of grow from it(?) and tries to get closer to some of the other brothers as a king and a friend (see: while the karaoke incident was a little BS, he did at least try to protect Levi and MC...). But it's quite inconsistent and in S4, it seems he's back to his old ways again, taking pictures of Lucifer in clothes he's quite clearly not comfortable wearing, ignoring all signs of how uncomfortable he is, and acting without consideration for others.

Of course, all the characters suffer from this to some extent. The issue with a seasonal otome game like Obey Me! is that the writers likely didn't know how many seasons they'd get when they started S1, and quite possibly still don't know how many seasons they'll get since the game is still quite popular. Diavolo I think just gets the worst of it.

[light-miracles]

AoS season 5 reactions

Or how to ruin a show that until then was being flawlessly written.

Going by chronological order with @shieldagent93 having to stand my rants...

~In 5x01, two of the three sentences said by Jemma had the word "Fitz". It's too much. It's like if she's always thinking about him.

~I... What's happening?? When do they explain what's going on?

~I don't like this Deke guy.

~5x05 was great. It explained a lot of the doubts I had. Also seeing Hunter again was amazing.

~What the fuck are they doing shooting at a fuckin quinjet wtf.

~5x08 has me like "how does time travel works in Marvel?". Like... They're in the future but they also raised Robin. Guess it's a Marvel thing. Also i would really like Fitz a little more if he had a better control of his outburst. I know, he's frustrated, but I guess screaming angry men just trigger me... And he has an ugly as fuck beard now. Anyway, May looks younger every season. The woman grows old in reverse.

~Done with 5x10. My Elena feelings are hurting. Also someone in the writing room as an amputation kink... Honestly this season is being the least cool (which is still better than what I'm used but, still). The dystopan society and everything related feels clumsy.

~You gotta be freakin kidding me her arms actually got chopped off?? Also, bad Susan Vásquez, bad. Alex Danvers would be disappointed

~"Losing a life is better than two" "This is not Hydra, Leopold!" Like, fuckin literally, Leopold!

~... There was an Hydra high school??? How did they remain undercover for 70 years, again?... I mean, they literally have an Hydra high school uniform... The person who washes their clothes might, idk, GUESS it's an Hydra high school.

~5x14... What the fuck did i just watch. Yeah, fuck FitzSimmons. Fuck Fitz. The fuck with Simmons. And I guess you won't catch me talking about Skimmons for a while. Wtf.

~Note to myself: Dessica never exaggerates. When she says something is bad, it's bad.

~Also, funny how Fitz apparently was talking to his evil self for weeks and no one noticed anything different about him. Jemma didn't notice anything different about him. So either that was bad writing or the dude is truly a psycho and not worse than Ward.

~5x15 has me like 'why no one is angry at Fitz?' He didn't steal someone's cookie he fuckin cut into Daisy??? Why don't they let Jemma be angry at him?? Since when all Jemma cares is only him??... I miss the Jemma of the past seasons.

~Deke: 'I respect you for what you did'

Is this... Is this for real???

~Deke: Daisy is a pain in the ass

FitzSimmons: I noticed.

Me: ENOUGH OF THIS BULL-

~ Jemma: "Fitz is paying for thinking differently"

*internally screaming *

~You know, this is worse than Supergirl's s5. Because the bullshit was said mostly by the fans, not the actual characters.

~"Maybe that they chopped your arms off wasn't so bad"... Are they trying to make me hate him?... Who wrote this?

~

Pffffffffffffffff LMAO!!!! He's fuckin cosplaying Khan from Star Trek...

~Plz let this season end.

~... Did i just hear the phrase 'Fitz is an incredible person' coming out of Daisy's mouth-i can't believe it

~Andddd Talbot just killed Brainiac 5.

~Jemma "torturing Daisy is okay but I draw the line at using an old corpse to create a cure to save Coulson's life" Simmons... Daisy literally hijacked her mother's corpse and it's not even the weirder thing about this season.

~Poor Jiaying. Like, yeah, she tried to kill Daisy but she was bananas at the moment and everything was Hydra's fault so...(Just like ANOTHER scientist restrained ANOTHER defenseless asian girl because he thought FUCKIN CUTTING INTO HER was for the GREATER GOOD) (I WONDER WHO MIGHT THAT BE)

~Okay but this evil alien villian is literally just a black man. No pointy ears. No weird eyes. No sharp teeth. Not even ants. Just a black man. Black men must look alien enough to whoever created this character

~Fitz: We can't break the time loop

Jemma: Okay Fitz ❤️

Fitz: I changed my mind I think we must make sure we break it

Jemma: Okay Fitz ❤️

This woman hasn't had a single personal thought in 15 episodes

~ Philindaisy's shoulders must hurt from carrying the weight of the season. Mack is honestly the only survivor of this team. I don't know any person called Finn or Simona or whoever. Neither their grandson Dick the Dick. And Elena is on thin, thin ice. I can still understand her pov and see why she does what she does. That's why she's on thin ice instead of on the bottom of the ocean like Fido and Simpsons.

~"I'm the savior of the world" said he, as he crashed his ship against a fuckin city. Homeboy at least be a coherent villian ffs-He's making the jesuchrist pose. Talbot, honey I'm so sorry.

~... So is Fitz dead?? I don't get it. Is he dead?? Why is everyone talking like if he were sleeping? What happened? I can't believe this show broke the curse of the 4th season just to invent the curse of the 5th.

You know the worst thing of this season?? That Daisy did everything in her power to protect Jemma from Papa Smurf and some episodes after it Jemma fuckin says it was right to hurt Daisy. Homegirl, that's a shit friend. Someone introduce her to Lena Luthor.