#also I am very thrilled to meet a fellow excessive comma user

[a-stone-in-flight]

jsdak'lfjsdaklfjsad;l @orangeswithsquirrelfaces how does it feel to be the funniest and most imaginative person on tumblr (assuming you're a person and not a collection of squirrelified fruits). i wasn't expecting any response to my rambling lamp monologue, especially not one this frickin incredible, thank you so much!! i literally cannot stop giggling. all of these lamp ideas definitely count as fucked up, evil, and very very malevolent in the best way.

here's my response to your response to my response to your response to my post:

salty coffee (or even worse, salty tea? salty hot cocoa? salty lemonade? saltwater?) is just the perfect level of malicious lamp subterfuge. even better if it happens when there are guests over 😭

a party where the lamp grew fouRTEEN CHICKEN LEGS and ran around covered in baked beans would be, hands down, the best party of my life.

oh my god imagine getting that shipment. like u come home from work one day and there is a HUGE pile of lampshades! thats the funniest way to max out a credit card sakdf;jlksak

and holy heck that short horror story is WONDERFUL (definitely not abhorrent!!). I'd read 100 more pages of The Epic Saga of Bethany and the Fucked Up Evil Lamp. your talent at improvisation is mindblowing and your writing is so engaging and eloquent!!

the romance between an evil lamp and a character would sure be something. whether it's a one sided fixation on a fixture or a shared love across an unbridgeable gap or something else, that's definitely a play I'd pay to see.

and wow now that I think about it, a lamp is pretty hard to define. a computer or a lightsaber probably wouldn't make the cut (and I do NOT want to see evil versions of those objects). but we definitely can't leave any awesome short lamps out :)

I think a dubstep strobing lamp could range from pleasant to debilitating depending on the target and I feel like migraine inducing is a whole other level of evil but a lamp that just decides "time to party" randomly would be a barrel of laughs. and oh I didn't even THINK about morse code that'd be so funny and frustrating 😭

thank u so much for your kind words abt my owl house rambling! i definitely agree that the light symbolism in that show is worth adoration.

i love the way you put it — light, like so many things, in shows and books and real life, rly is a double edged sword. you make such a good point about the fear of the unknown and how the desire for the perceived safety and comfort of light can hold us back.

I was not expecting a funny pondering on malevolent lamps to turn into an insightful analysis of the psyche of CEOs and their parallels to the collector but oh my god this is the most wonderfully wise surprise that I've had in ages. I completely agree with what you're saying. and if only more ppl with power dared to step into the dark unknown and take the risk and learn, maybe our world would be a little better. maybe that's what fantasy and sci fi are for — to hold up a funhouse mirror to our flaws, to show us the double-edged sword while making us laugh, to invite us to consider our own nature, the complex morality of existence, and, above all, evil lamps.

...this was VERY unexpectedly existential and I am so glad you decided to post that quesadilla lamp rant :) on the off chance u read through all my rambling, thank YOU so much for taking the time to share this existential and hilarious magnificence with the world!

I'm very curious what u cut from the original quesadilla lamp rant and if u have any other lamp-related or generally chaotic musings, i'd be delighted to hear them ;)

characters of all time