#also 100% no guilt tripping! I'm just typing out loud you are completely free to scroll past this and I'm absolutely not judging

[diabeticgirl4]

Me @ me: you do know u have a private vent blog so you don't have to make others annoyed/concerned right?

Also me: ok but what if I feel better and less alone knowing other ppl can read my problems, even if they don't actually read/care?

(You are genuinely 100% allowed to skip past this, I was having a Bad Brain morning and just gotta get it out, I'm feeling better now so don't worry!)

Woke up this morning legit thinking I was hearing voices. Weirdest sensation, like I was hearing my phone alarm/podcast/vague talking but like it was super muffled and buried under all my blankets, except my phone was right next to me and the alarm had already been turned off. Weirdest part is it went away when I lifted my head on the pillow? Tried it again and I continued to hear it laying my head down and it stopped when I lifted it back up again. Weirdest thing. Anyways that threw me off for a while. I'm also super tired yeah! Been sleeping terribly this week, averaging about 5-6ish hrs instead of my usual 6-7ish hrs. And I have another concert tonight so I'll be getting even less sleep tonight yaaayyy.

So tbh that wasn't too bad, just weird and disconcerting but all good now. Except I overheard my coworker talk about her housing situations while at school (we went to the same school but different years), and then I couldn't stop thinking about my college years so that was fun (/s). I'm rly hesitant to call it trauma, but if it's still fricking me up 10 years later and both my parents separately agreed that I came back worse after college? Hhh. Yeah.

And since I'm in between podcasts (I'm currently trying out candela obscura, I'm enjoying it so far!) I was having the hardest time focusing on the words so I had to give up and switch to random music. I'm just feeling so. Discombobulated? Fun word but not a fun feeling.

Anyways I'm feeling mildly better(ish) now so it's not a concern my brain is just being super weird this morning and I'm v tired. Weh.