#also “oh we dont own our heavens now we only own our hell and if you don't know that by now then you don't know me that well”

[gece-misin-nesin]

Most of the songs in Electra Heart are incredibly Jason Todd coded(except certain lines being abt romantic/sexual relationships, change those slightly and voila). No I won't elaborate because you know I'm right.

[minalblood]

Ep 10... oh boy theres a lot to say with this one.

We begin with a nice twist. The woman needing help is Akrida and the victim is the other woman who's stopped to help. Since I've recently been reminded of it, this set up instantly made me think of Sam.meeting Cole for the 1st time, but in that the one flatlined actually needed help.

The Akrida committed to the acting I see.

God the actresses did such a good job raising the tension

LOVE seeing Millie do more handywork around. We dont have nearly enough of her getting into machinery

Mary and John hating being left to research is funny af to me.

Congrats Mary for getting into college and I like that John is actually happy for her, even ribbing her a bit. Love that dynamic actualy.

"Normal life will have to wait another day" thay cut deep fellas ngl. Mainly because i would argue its exactly what Sam and Dean told themselves to put off actually getting to do anything they wanted. And we have this exact sentiment echoed 5 min later by Carlos for why they need to break up with Anton (cant afford to with the fate of the world on their shoulders). The fact that both of these are accompanied by Dean's monologue about hunting and happy endings? Very very relevant to Dean and the life he led. But more importantly, the "how far will I go to get it" echoes back a few.more things amd makes it almost ominous. We'll come back to this when we meet Mr Sheffield (i dont remmeber the characters name rn, will use it later when they say it) since the dark meaning to Dean's words is highlighted by his story.

This might be the most clear indication of who Carlos was before the Winchesters, the version Samuel was mentioning when talking about them a few ep ago. The lone wolf version, the impulsive one, the not getting close to ppl one. Im very happy they've changed, i think they're happier like this.

Oh noooo, I forgot we have Roxy here 🥲 this'll hurt.

John and Mary see a tea set and alphabetized books out: now thats truly disturbing behaviour

John and Mary any other time: eh, thats normal

I live for the chaotic pair these 2 make together

Why tf does he still have the key if they threw him.out of the MOL? Then again, considering the many issues with the MOL, this is only a mildly annoying thing.

Ah yes, hunters are apes commentary, ffs what even started this bullshit feud between hunters and MOL?? It was there on Samuel's side too, and we even see Henry go with that particular opinion...

Sooo, either Jack was really the one experimenting on monsters or that actually was Hobbes' job, regardless we know what that turned into - not just the various bodyguards that our scooby gang has encoutered thus far, but the more insidious uses too like the monsters Cuthbert Sinclaire reprogramms or the manipulation of Mrs Butters or even Mary's own brainwashing. Safe to say all this send my mind to Naomi and how heaven has a very similar approach to keeping their angels in check. Fitting then that it's the Winchester side of the family that is MOL legacy with the Campbell side being the hunters family qho tends to go for a more straightforward will just eliminate the threat vibe (more hell aligned u could say). "A lobotomy makes most monsters subservient *wink*" he says and I cannot not be filled with revulsion on multiple layers. Including the actual issue with lobotomies generally and how their extended "use" was due to a fraud profitting off of people... yeaaaa all the red flags with Jack/Porter here. But also in general it goes back to the type of MOL we have in SPN, the exact kind that JAck/Porter is are the ones still alive, who have very little actual care of who they harm in their scientific pursuit.

Clear alarm bells sounding when askes about Henry, he has a very clear tell.

Hint hint nudge nudge about Jack/Porters lack of family

You know the thing that actually annoys me about people like Jack/Porter? The fact that if he'd applied his knowledge to actually get ppl depossessed he could've actually done something helpful, that would save ppl, but nope, instead he focused everything into his fixation and inability of letting go. To everyones detriment.

Well, Roxy's motel room reminds me of several times we've seen Dean in similar places... especially after the Mark got bad.

Roxy breaks my heart. Everytime.

And we have another instance of possession being portrayed as the violation it actually is. SPN had a few moments of showing this, most notably with Sam and Lucifer, but we've rarely had such an indepth showing of exactly how someone no longer possessed is coping. The only other ones I can remember clearly delving into are Jeffrey in s7 and Nick in s14, but in both those cases, Jeffrey and Nick were more akin toa depiction of Stockholm Syndrome or at the very least a dependence had been created having been possessed so long. Which is in itself a bit problematic a message to send tbh, but Roxy meanwhile is the opposite. Not only does she not want the Akrida back, she actively is trying to deny it ever having happened initially and she def doesnt want to be reminded of it.

Ironic that it's Carlos who says the forgetting isnt working for Roxy... considering

I also adore the parallel made between Jack/Porter and Lata in this episode? Like they both have that scientific curiosity that can become really dangerous (as seen with Jack) but unlike Jack, Lata actually wants to help people so she uses what she knows (just as much a type of brainwashing technique as Jack/Porters lobotomy fyi) to offer someone help. But! Lata asks for Roxy's consent and is upfront, where Jack/Porter is lying and manipulating and taking foe himself.

Mary's instant red flag reading of Jack/Porter for the win, but she should've listened to her instincts faster. She believes next to nothing of his words. I love her so much.

I love the round table Arkida scene... its so much fun to watch. Ironic that the Akrida call hunters pests... also yay Dean!

The fact that Jack/Porter is so so pissed off is his own downfall tbh. The bitter comments fucked up his facade.

Tonyyyyy yessss. Also Lata and Tony yaaay

I love how absolutely huge gossip queens both Lata and Carlos are.

I also love Carlos' little notepad during the scene with Roxy.

The description of her possession is way to visceral fuck I fogot how hard to watch this was. And how much it echoes to asault. Not even echoes tbh considering we have a clearer scene relating to sexual assault when Jack/Porter tries to have Dorothea possess Mary so thw comparison of possession to assault is very much there this episode.

Wonder if Jack Wilcox defected to the Brits in SPN? And began what would later be Lady Bevell's expertise? The fact that he even put on a British accent def is meant to remind us of Bevell and the Brits.

God Mary and John are obvious af that they suspect shit ... ffs kids!

Carlos continues to be the one that actually uncovers key info.

Aww, Carlos and Lata are so so kind and comforting with Roxy. I love them so much.

Im so proud of Roxy, but what I genuinely love about how the ep was written is that even if she'd have gone along with the erasing of her memory, it still would've been a valid way for her to move on. Like this it obviously works two fold in somewhat convincing Carlos they also should take a leap of faith that alls gonna be well with Anton, but its set up in such a way that regardless of Roxy's choice at the end, Roxy's own wellbeing was all that mattered however that looked. I can appreciate the nareative not ramming a specific interpretation down our throats.

Ah, yes, wartime decisions excusing the means... it nearly never actually applies tho, Jack. Tho I will say it's very satisfying having it be said to John who in SPN would use this exact rethoric for a while slew of shitty choices.

Now I wont get into the whole issue with the golem being used in this ep and specifically how they kill the golem - others have said far more better informed stuff on it (shoutout to @endofthebookpod fantastic episode discussion) and I do have a plethora of issues with it - what I do wanna say on the subject tho is that at leasr insofar as Jack is concerned it makes sense that he'd steal and use a golem for his own benefit (similar to how the nazi did in 8x13). The actual problem with this is how the writers chose to tackle dealing with the golem here. Because ultimately the golem is used as a weapon by Jack, just as all his lobotomised monsters were. But the ep chosing to not clarify a few things and deciding to burn the golem??? Not good fellas, not fucking good at all.

I do appreciate John's resilience in fighting the golem tho.

Like I said, the sexual assault parallel to possession is even more clear when discussion Mary's possession.

Gruesome death for Jack tho, I will say.

"Things we do for love"?!?! John Winchester I will murder you! If Mary doesnt do it first for u even suggesting that. I do apprwciate still seeing glimpses of SPN!John even now, 10 ep into it. Because for all that people can change, its very very hard to do so and its a slow process.

Thank you Mary for shutting it down immediately. High hopes that this low key promise they made here spells good things for their future. I do hope.

I also love that Lata explains why Roxy wanting to erase her traumatic memories isnt the same as Carlos avoiding dealing with his intimacy issues. But I also love that Carlos feels safe actually confiding in Lata, for all that they banter and shit talk they're each others person.

Perfect timing on the Tragic Haircut lady. Also yea, it def is a tragic haircut.

Noooo, Akrida!Kyle is here. Using Johns past against him is smart but also i need to read that file.

I will say, I never read Millie at the end as believing that John did anything like Ive seen in a couple of other places mentioned. I just saw it as her being a. Shocked about a dead body b. Shocked about John holding a dead body and c. The police being on her heels with john holding a dead body.

But that's all for today folks. Next up, ep 11. Slowly but surely making it through the show.

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[xoxo-teddybear]

Bakugou’s daughter brings home a Boyfriend

Bakugou x wife!reader

Ft. Bakugou’s daughter

Warnings: fluff, lowkey Crack, sexual mentions, small angst, cursing, Bakugou being such a dad

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: This is one of my favorite types of Bakugou. Domestic father Bakugou!! So bc of that fact, this piece was born. Hope you enjoy!

Bakugou as a boyfriend? Bliss. Bakugou as a fiancé? Heaven. Bakugou as a husband? Euphoric

Bakugou as a dad?.......he sure is something

Don’t get me wrong, Bakugou would be the ultimate dad

Baby crying in the middle of the night? Sleep love, daddy’s got it. Baby needs a bottle? He can warm it up with his hands. Baby’s feeling bored? Look at these mini fireworks in his hands!! Katsuki’s got it all

But that’s a baby Bakugou

Bakugou with a teenager

oOf

Katsuki’s teen will be either one of two things

His best friend

Or his mortal enemy (whom he still loves endlessly)

His 16 year old daughter, Katsumi, was both

And yes they loved each other very much, but they also got into battles on who could cook dinner better, who Y/N loved more, hell, when y’all came back from a restaurant THEY FOUGHT OVER WHO MADE IT TO THE FRONT DOOR FIRST

But this battle? Y/N might just let them Kill each other...just this once

——————————————————————————

“WHO THE FUCK IS THI-“

*SMACK* (thx Y/N)

“Daddy, this is Izuru! Izuru this is my lovely mother and that’s my shitty dad that I love so dearly!”

Katsumi definitely inherited her guts from the Bakugou’s

“Nice to meet you Mr and Mrs. Bakugou!”

Ah man, here we go

Silence. Pure, awkward, scary, silence. And of course Y/N’s nervous twitching HOPING that her dear husband doesn’t murder the green haired boy. As the young couple stand infront of the doorway smiling, the older couple is staring at them, one in nervousness, and the other in shock. (I’m talking Denki going 4 million volts shocked)

“Well.....Welcome Izuru! I knew you’d be coming over soon but I didn’t expect it tonight. It’s lovely to meet you,” Y/N ever so kindly said once she let out a sigh.

Her husband almost got whiplash from how fast he turned to look at her. “Knew?!? You knew about this kid?? And didn’t bother to tell me?!??”

“Well if I told you, you woulda stopped this meeting from happening ya jerk!” Y/N visciously explained.

“YA DAMN RIGHT CUZ-“ silenced with another smack from his wife. Y/N sure learned a lot from Mitsuki. “Please come in you two, I’ll start dinner.”

As the young couple sat in the living room speaking, the older one was in the kitchen preparing food. Well one of them was, the other was too busy burning a whole into the poor boy’s body with just his eyes.

*SMACK*

“Ow.” Continues to stare

“Suki stop that, you’re gonna scare the poor boy.” Y/N said.

“GOOD. I DONT WANT SOMEONE LIKE HIM CONTAMINATING THE BAKUGOU LINE!” The blonde dramatically yelled.

“Contaminating? Love, we don’t even know if they’ve had sex. I doubt he’s “contaminating” anything any time soon.” You said with attitude.

Bakugou just stared at you know with the same look.

“Hmph!” And turned to look back at the kids.

“HEY!” Bakugou screamed.

“Heyyyyy~” Katsumi replied.

“No not “Heyyyy~,” Katsuki began and replied with a girly impersonation of his daughter as he walk towards the couple. “I mean, HEY, as in have you had sex with this kid?” He sternly asked.

“KATSUKI OH MY GOD,” Y/N screamed as she dropped something in shock.

“.......Yeah, so what?” His daughter replied.

Y/N wasn’t even mad. She already knew. She could tell. Mother’s instinct I guess.

Katsuki was fuming.

“NOPE! NO! THIS RELATIONSHIP WONT GO ON! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG TO BE HAVING SEX!” The older blonde screamed while looking at the now blushing green haired teen and his rebellious daughter. And Y/N was just giving him this...look.

‘What a fucking hypocrite’ you thought to yourself.

“How old were you when you fucked mom?”

(ITS QUIET AINT NO BACKTALK)

Pure and utter silence.

Katsuki started stepping back from the couple while facing them and nodding his head. “.....use condoms,” and walked back to his deceased wife.

As dinner is placed on the table and everyone takes their seats, Katsuki can’t help but stare at this boy. Why does he seem so familiar?

Everyone just ate and talked. Grades, school, when did y’all meet, how long has it been? The usual. But Katsuki remained silent while thinking. And then..it clicked!

Katsuki slammed his hands on the table and stood up from his seat looking at the boy across from him. “What’s your last name?!”

Izuru was nervous because he was well aware of who Katsumi’s father was and how her father’s relationship with his own father was kinda iffy.

“M-Midoriya sir.” He nervously stated.

Katsuki saw red.

“DEKU?!??????!!!!!” He screamed

“Oh come on Katsuki! Like that wasn’t obvious!” You said rolling your eyes.

“There is NO WAY IN HELL I’m gonna let the Bakugou line be contaminated with Deku’s genes! Our family line only brings in the best of the best!” Katsuki proudly and loudly stated.

“So what am I?” Y/N asked.

“The best of the best! You were and are the perfect one for me Y/N! You know this, I know this, everyone knows this. And look at what we created-“ he was interrupted by his wife.

“A mini you?”

“A MINI ME! And who wouldn’t want that?!”

“Dad.” Katsumi said.

Now that caught Katsuki off guard. For the past 16 years, Katsumi has always been a daddy’s girl. She never called him “dad,” ew. She said “Daddy,” or “Shitty dad.” As Katsuki turned to his daughter he could see the look in her eyes.

“.......you really wanna be with this kid?” He asked.

“I really do.” Katsumi said while grabbing onto Izuru’s hand.

“...Ok then. You can be with him.” Katsuki calmly said.

Katsumi excitingly got up and ran towards her dad’s seat giving him a hug.

“Thanks daddy,” she said while giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Dinner continued on as normal as it could. Katsuki was just gonna have to learn how to let go.

Later

As the married couple got ready to sleep, Katsuki was hanging outside their balcony.

“What was up with you Blasty? I haven’t seen that kinda Katsuki since UA.” You jokingly said as you went to stand beside him.

“You’re not scared?” Katsuki asked.

“Of?”

“Katsumi. She’s growing up. She has a boyfriend now. That girl is having sex! She’s not daddy’s little girl anymore.” He sadly said.

“That’s what this is about? Katsumi growing up? Suki, this was always gonna happen. She’s in her prime teenage years. She’s 16! A lots gonna start happening.” You began.

“I know that but-“

“But nothing Katsuki. You can be scared of her growing up, I am too, but we can’t be so scared that we try and stop her. You just have to know that Katsumi will always come back to us no matter how old she is. And she will always, always be a daddy’s girl. Her entire world revolves around you Katsuki, but we gotta let her go at some point. We have to let her grow. That’s how the best of the best are made after all, right? It’s what we look for in a Bakugou.” You finished.

Katsuki couldnt do anything but smile. You were right. He knew you were. And he was willing to let his little cub grow.

“......You’ve gotta stop interrupting me when I talk.” He laughed.

“And you’ve gotta stop saying the dumbest shit in the world.” You teased back.

He pulled you in for a quick peck and just held you there in his arms. He was so glad he had you to keep him grounded. You’re the best of the best after all. It only makes sense.

“Daddy?” Katsumi walked into her parents room, unnoticed.

As the two broke the hug to see their daughter, looking a little timid, Katsuki spoke.

“Katsumi, hey princess. What’s up with you.” Katsuki asked as he walked towards his daughter.

“You’re not...disappointed in me, right? You know, for who I chose to be with. I’m sorry if I chose Izuru but I-“ this time, it was Katsuki who interrupted.

“Hey hey, no of course not baby bear. I would never be disappointed in who your true feelings pulled you to. I don’t want you to apologize for anything when today I caused most of the trouble.” Katsuki said while wiping one of his daughter’s stray tears.

“You know I’m never gonna leave you guys. Right? I’m gonna grow up but I’ll always want to have a close relationship with you and mom. I love you guys, and I’m not going anywhere.” Katsumi said.

“We know Katsumi. And we love you too. And we’re far from disappointed in you. We are so proud of the young woman you’ve become today.” Y/N joined in.

Katsumi ran to her mother and gave her the tightest hug, and Katsuki couldn’t help but stare at his two girls. His world. His entire reason for living. All right there in his arms as he pulled them in for a bigger hug.

“Thanks you guys. Well, I’m gonna head to bed. I’ve got a date with Izuru tomorrow and I don’t wanna be late.” Katsumi began walking towards her parents door until Katsuki called her.

“Hey baby bear,”

“Yeah?”

“Izuru. He seems alright. He’ll be good for you.” Katsuki admitted.

“Yeah. He really is. He’s the best of the best after all. Reminds me of someone I know.” Katsumi said while leaving the room.

Yeah. Katsuki will be just fine.

A/N: Sheesh. This kinda sucked but I did this in my literature class sooo....it’s still credible work since I was writing, right? Yeah..?....No?...yeah ok. Anyways, HOPED YOU ENJOYED IT BEAR CUBS🧸💗

P.S. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!! And I PROMISE I’ll get better and produce more work. Feel free to leave requests!

[technoblade-simp16]

This is a story I made for a writing event by dreamwvrld, my prompt is fallen angel/devil au with c!technoblade. Dont forget to check out @dreamwvrld and all the others that are participating in this event (check the tags to see the event and the writers participating in it)

Word count: 3000+

It has been many year's since you've fallen, not quite sure exactly how many though. You've grown to accept being condemned even though you did nothing wrong, you actually prefer living down on earth rather than heaven seeing as how it changed from the supposed holy place it once was to becoming a place governed by unjust and unfair 'saint's' now being only a shell of what it was before. Though you've roamed the earth for quite sometime you never really interacted with mortals much, the first and only person you actually talked to eversince you fell from grace was a demon named badboyhalo. It seemed that you two had something in common as he was kicked out of hell because of how nice he was, ever since your first encounter with him you started meeting with him more and he became your first friend. As time passed by he started worrying that you were too lonely seeing as he was the only person who you befriended.

"you need to find more friend's you muffin, so that you wouldn't be so sad and gloomy all the time" hearing this i once again told him for the hundredth time that i was not interested in befriending mortals seeing as they'll just grow old and die one day while me and him are immortal. "Well i think i know someone else that's immortal, maybe you can befriend him" "Oh? And who is this person you've never told me about for some reason?" "Hehehe.... Sorry, i don't really know him well so i never really thought of telling you." I just nod and signal him to continue "well his name is Philza and I'm pretty sure he's an angel of death from the vibe he gives off sometimes"

*An angel of death? From what i remember they're supposed to be like grim reapers but resemble fallen angels just without the halo.* Bad then points in a direction "he lives that way but his house is quite far so it might take awhile, maybe 5-8 hours of flying depending on the weather. Though he's an angel of death he's actually more of the town dad treating nearly every kid he see's as his own so I'm sure you'll get along with him great. He also lives with my other friend he's a piglin named techno he always says technoblade never dies but i don't know if he's actually immortal or not, they live together in a house located in the thundra and it's currently the only house there so you shouldn't have a problem finding it"

"so you want me to spend possibly 8 hours flying just to see a dad and someone who has a catchphrase and might be immortal?" Bad only nods and waits for a response, you want to say no but if you do he's just gonna keep asking you to do it and use his puppy eyes like always, *sigh* "fine, I'll do it. But if anything happens I'm going to kill you when i get back got it?" He hesitantly nods knowing you're not lying about killing him. "So, when will you be leaving?" "Tomorrow since i have nothing better to do and besides, the sooner i befriend them the sooner you'll stop pestering me about making friends" bad only nods and smiles at me, he's happy that I'm actually gonna try and make friends. After about 30 minutes of chatting, mostly him telling me about the people I'll be meeting he gets up "Well i should probably get going, skeppy might destroy our house if I'm gone for too long" i nod and we say our goodbye's and he takes off flying to his and skeppys house, "i should probably start packing some stuff for the journey since it's going to be quite a long one and i should prolly head out early in the morning if i want to be back before midnight"

*Time skip to early next day brought to you by my lazy ass and last two brain cells*

"Ok lets see if i have all my stuff, food? check, weapons? check, spare clothes? check, other stuff that I'm to lazy to count one by one? check, ok i think that's about all the stuff i need i think. Well i should get going now since its gonna be a long flight" with that i leave the house, spread my wings and take flight heading in the direction bad told me. The sun hasn't risen yet since it's only 4 in the morning so hopefully i get there before noon, as I'm flying i think about how i should approach the two when i get there, "maybe i could talk with philza since we're both angels or maybe i could talk to that techno guy since he doesn't like governments from what bad told me and heaven is like a government and i dislike it" i keep thinking about how i should talk to them so much that i don't even notice that im in the thundra already, i only snap back to reality when i feel a snow flake land on my nose and it makes me sneeze a bit "damn how long was i zoned out?" i look at my watch and see that I've already been flying for over 5 hours "I've been flying this long so i should be close to it by now" after about 15 more minutes of flying a house comes into view, it was a single house in the thundra so that might be it. I land carefully as not to make to much noise and head towards the door, i can feel my whole body tense up from all the nervousness since it's been a long time since i interacted with people besides bad and skeppy. I nock on the door a few times and wait patiently for someone to open it i can hear footsteps coming closer and i take a deep breath and exhale trying to calm myself. The door opens and reveals a man with large black wings wearing a green robe and a white and green striped bucket hat, *this guy must be philza from the looks of it.* The man just looks at me and i finally speak up "are you philza by any chance?" "Yes and who might you be?" "My name is y/n, i came here because my friend badboyhalo told me to" "bad? Why would he send you here" "he says that i need to make more friends but i don't really want to be friends with mortals since they'll die eventually so he told me about you and said that you're immortal so it should be fine" he's caught off guard by what i said but goes back to being calm, he tells me to come inside since it cold outside so i do, we both take a seat by the fire place and he starts talking "so, are you immortal too?" "Yeah, im actually an angel, a fallen one to be exact and from what bad told me you're an angel of death yes?" "Yes i am, how did you end up falling if i may ask?" "i got blamed for some stupid crap i didn't do and they ended up banishing me here although I'm a bit pissed for being wrongfully punished i actually prefer living down here rather than heaven" we ended up talking for a while telling more about each other, he also told me about his wife who turns out to be lady death and that she's the reason he's an angel of death, at first i didn't believe it but then he showed me hundreds of pictures of her and i had no choice but to believe it.

After an hour or two of talking i heard the door open, i looked to see who it was and i saw a piglin wearing a red cape and a crown i figured he was technoblade since he matched what bad described me. After he noticed me he just stared at me, he seemed to be wondering why a random stranger was in his house he looked tense but phil told him that i was ok and i was not an enemy. He asked phil who i was anf why was i here and phil told him about me like how i was a fallen angel and that bad told me to go here since he wants me to make more friends, after that he looked at me and gave a questioning look "don't angels suppose to have a halo?" I chuckle a bit and snap my fingers, my halo materialises above my head it was a shiny obsidian black with a glowing gold pattern runing along the middle and some of my feathers also became gold as a simbol of how wasn't an ordinary angel before but a gate keeper angel. He seemed to be mesmerised by gold glow from my halo and wings, makes sends though since he's a piglin and all, phil snaps him out of it when he asks him if i could stay for the night since a storm seemed to be coming in, he nodded and returned to staring at the gold feathers on my wings which just made me laugh since from what bad told me he was supposed to be this though and stoic warrior but here he is, unable to look away from the gold feathers staring at them like a dog who saw a squirrel phil chuckles a bit and leaves, possibly to make some food for us. He snaps back to reality when i start walking to him, he looked a bit tense since he's still not sure about me, i run my hand through one of my wings and stop when i reach a gold feather, i pluck it out and reach out my hand giving it to him "what?" Was all he could say "well you looked like you couldn't look away from my feathers and i know that piglins like gold a lot so i thought i could give you one of my feathers" "why?" "Well cuz if i want to befriend you than i need to make a good impression" he grabs the feather and looks at it for a bit and looks at me "thanks" "you don't talk much do you?" He laughs at this which made me smile since he seems to trust me. time goes by and we just sit by the fire place talking about our selves and our opinions on things, "what are your thoughts on government?" He asked me "well from experience i think their complete shit, using their power to benefit themselves and punishing those who dare oppose them" he gives a small nearly unnoticeable smile but it was enough for me to see, he tells me that both he and phil agree and that they're both actually anarchists, it doesn't surprise me since bad already told me. "What is it like up there, you know, heaven?" I frown a bit hearing this since i don't really like remembering heaven due to it being shit "it's not the holy and pure place you guys down here think it is, atleast not anymore. Heaven is governed by these 'saints' they're like a government, and most if not all of these so called saints abuse their power for their own benefit and punish those who have done nothing wrong, back then every thing was nice a peaceful but nowadays there's even drugs in heaven, now it's merely just a shell, a name for what it once was long long ago" he looked at me and could tell that i didn't want to think about it "I'm sorry for asking about it" "no it's okay, i fell from grace a very long time ago and besides i need to be honest if i wanna make friends atleast that's what bad told me" after that techno told about himself like how he has voices and his head and what they say to him "why are you telling me this?" "Well you told me about stuff that you dont like talking about so i thought i could do the same" "ok then, does this mean I'm your friend now" "more or less yeah" we keep chatting about interesting topics such as fighting, mythology and suprisingly gardening.

*Time skip to when it's night and all should be asleep*

I should be asleep by now but something's keeping me awake, i try to sleep once again but i suddenly hear a noise coming from down stairs. I got up from the bed and quietly leave the spare bedroom and head to the stairs, as i walk down the steps i see that the door was open and there was a figure in the porch. I head to the porch and as i got closer i realised that it was just techno it seemed that he was lost in thought since he still hasnt noticed me so i gently tap his shoulder, he looks at me and gives a tired smile to which i answer with my own "what are you doing here late at night?" "I could ask you the same" "well i heard a noise and came to check but saw it was only you, though it seems something is troubling you" "it's nothing" "that's what people say when they do have something bothering them so tell me, besides I'm your friend now so I'm obligated to help if something is wrong" "did bad tell you that?" "Maybe, but i agree with it" he tells me about his problems, most of them being about the people who're hunting him down and how he's worried about his enemies finding this place and putting phil in danger as well as keeping the voices from hurting anyone that he care's about since they sometimes get to loud to bare with. I feel sad cuz it seems like he has quite a bit on his shoulders and i wanna cheer him up or atleast calm him down, whenever i feel down bad always hugs me and that usually works so why not give it a shot, i wrap my arms around him and hug him tight, he stills not expecting me to do this. He eventually relaxes and returns the hug, it feels like he needed something like this, someone showing that they care about him with actions and not just words. After about a minute or two i let go and see that he's looking better now, "thanks" "no problem, that's what friends are for anyway. Now let's get you to bed since it's still two in the morning and it's too early to be awake" i grab his hand and lead him to his room which felt a bit wierd since this is his house but at the same time it also felt natural in some way and i didn't know why. Once he gets to his bed i turn around to go back to the spare bedroom but stop when i feel a hand grab me by the arm, i turn to see that it was techno "stay, please" i couldn't say no since i knew he just needed someone to be with right now, someone who he feels safe around and it ended up being me. I give him a small smile "fine, though you might need to move a bit if you want both of us to fit in the bed" we both quietly laugh at this and he moves a bit so that i can also fit on his bed. I lay down on the bed beside techno and see that we're both facing each other, i get a bit flustered since his face was really close but manage to say a small goodnight before closing my eyes and turning around, i was starting to think this wasn't a good idea sharing the bed until i feel his arms wrap around me and pull me towards him. I can feel my wings and back touching his chest, his breath touching my neck and a sharp object poking me near a vital body part(his tusks poking the back of your head not that you sinful minds). I can't help but turn into a tomato but i was glad that he couldn't see my face since it was night and i was facing away from him, "thanks again" "n-no problem" was all i could say before shutting my eyes and focusing on falling asleep, after a little while i finally managed to drift away to the land of dreams.

*Time skip to the following morning (this is the last time skip i swear*

I awake to the rays of sunshine poking through the curtains and try to get up only to fail and i realise that techno still has his arms wrapped around me, i turn my head to look at him and see that he was still asleep. I couldn't help myself from smiling when i saw how peaceful he looked, it was so different from how he looked from when he first saw me yesterday, *he looks so peaceful, so calm, so charming* i qiuckly realise what i just said in my mind and try to calm myself the fuck down before i end up waking him up with how loud my heart was beating. After calming down i try to remove his arms only to receive a groan doing so he starts waking up and i try not to panick and muster the will to speak and ask him if he can let go of me now so i can get up but all i get is another groan and him muttering "five more minutes" "techno, i need to get up now we both do, it's already 9 in the morning" he gives one last groan before letting go and getting up. We both get up and leave the room only to be met with phil who gives us a questioning look to which we just shrug in response, the morning goes by without any stange things happening, we eat breakfast and talk more about stuff we have in common. Time passes by and it was time for me to leave we were all sad since it was time for me to leave especially me as well as technoblade it seemed from the look he had, i say my goodbyes to the both of them and turn to technoblade to give him one last hug before i go, this time he hugs back faster and tighter than last time, after the hug a thought came to my head and got me very flustered at the time my mind was yelling at me to either chicken out or do it to which i ended choosing the latter. I use flap my wings so that i get to his level and give him a kiss in the cheek, after that i instantly flew off yelling bye with a tomato face. As i flew o looked back to see techno touching the spot where i had just kissed him and saw a smile coming on his face, this made me relieved since this doesn't mean he disliked me but at the same time it made me even more red since it meant he liked it, liked me. I big smile appeared on my face and i laughed a bit *i guess this wasn't a bad idea after all, though I'm never telling bad about this especially skeppy. I'm definitely going to visit this place again soon though* and with that i had made two more friends and possibly something more, who knows only time can tell what it'll lead to.

Im finally done with this story, i had a hard time thinking of how to write it since i don't really do oneshots but hopefully some people will enjoy reading this. This was my story for dreamwvrld's writing event please go and check out @dreamwvrld and the other writers participating this event if you have the time, that is all.

[omegawolverine]

Plesse tell me about queerness in the get down!!

okay okay queerness in the get down let's fuckn goooo

disclaimer: I havent watched this show in full for like 5 months at least, probably gonna get something wrong and/or forget some more important bits. also this wasnt proof read I just word vomited

tws: period typical homophobia, abuse mention, f slur use, bury your gays trope, overdose mention, mention of a creepy possible age gap (the age gap hasnt been confirmed so that's why its possible), cops

going from least to most prominent queer characters, let's start with mylene cruz!

so, from the beginning of this show she has an established romantic relationship with ezekiel (although the status of their actual relationship changes frequently throughout the show) and though this was a relationship she was hesitant to pursue, it is clear that she does have romantic feelings for him and if not for them both having growing careers in very different music genres (zeke specifically working in a genre that she repeatedly labels as bad because she thinks they're ruining records + that it isnt real music because they're using someone elses piece and rapping over it, that's not really important here tho lol) they probably wouldve had a much healthier, smooth sailing romance. that being said theres a few things that happen in the show that, while not explicitly clear, or even really good coding at that—to the point where you wont catch if you really arent looking for it (and trust me, I always look for coding, hers was just so little that it flew over my head until I saw someone else mention it)—are still cool to think about!

so, for starters, I wanna mention the toy box performance, which was performed by mylene and regina, who are best friends. that's all cool and shit, and you dont really think much about it...until you hear about the fact that the show runners purposely colored a lot of the scenes in that performance with the bi colors. like. the writers after the show ended basically said "oh yeah there was plans to make her coding more explicit, but our shit got cancelled soooo" and then dropped the fact that she was gonna be bi (or at least implies bi) in the series, which puts a new twist on a few things.

now, besides the bi coloring in the background of the toy box performance (which was mostly on scenes with her and regina, which involved a lot of uh,, lowkey lewd dancing. with each other. in very revealing outfits. wooooo), there's her music! I dont tend to read too much into this one bc, like I said before, her coding is fucking light and the writers themselves said they didnt really get to do much with it, but I think some stuff with her music is interesting. specifically how her, yolanda and regina's song set me free blew up because dizzee, resident (lowkey enby coded) bicon, got their song played in a queer club. also that the song was majorly important to dizzee and started playing literally right as he kissed a boy for the first time and realized "oh shit I like boys that's bonkers". also that the song can be taken in a gay way since literally the entire thing is about becoming your true self, fully and unapologetically, which is what both dizzee and mylene's entire character arcs are about. dizzee (and a lot of other queer people, apparently), heard this song about being set free and it resonated with them so much that they got that shit most of its popularity.

speaking of dizzee and mylene, they parallel each other a lot in the way that their arcs are about them realizing who they are, coming into themselves and no longer just letting people treat them like shit in a sense (dizzee starting to tell people essentially that they can call him weird all they want, they can make fun of how he acts, what he likes, how he dresses, etc. but he likes how he is and quite literally saying "it's okay to be an alien" as he has consistently compared himself to one throughout the show vs mylene learning that if she wants to be a disco singer she needs to put her foot down, not let anyone, not even the love of her life, not even her abusive father, stop her from achieving her dreams, etc. and continuing to pursue her career with or without their support). one more little parallel that I think is interesting is during I think s2 towards the end of the show is when dizzee and thor are shown together having fun with each other, painting all over the building and each other and are basically just being happy and in love together and then they have these clips of them being interspersed with clips of mylene at a party where she is starting to realize that if she wants to get anywhere she needs to be her own main priority and that she needs to put her career and her dream, which is what makes her the happiest, above all else if she wants to succeed. idk I just think how the show made these two into a weird parallel, accidental or not, is neat. maybe not an explicitly queer parallel, but I think at least how her music and whatnot helped dizzee, the main queer character in this show, blossom, is important.

moving on we got shaolin fantastic also known as "oh no your internalized homophobia is showing-"

so, heres a quick list of...interesting shao facts:

Consistently referred to as fag/faggot (shaolin fanfaggot is my personal favorite); he gets really defensive about this despite nobody actually thinking he's queer, it's just people being assholes to be assholes, and he is the only character consistently referred to using a slur, especially a homophobic one, especially for a "straight" character. dizzee, a canonically queer character, is called a fag less than shaolin is even though dizzee actively goes to gay clubs, has a not so secret dude he "hangs out with" and wont let anyone properly meet, paints his nails, wears less than straight clothes even by the 70s standards and is just all around the definition of fucking queer (and I mean like in the weird way, not the gay way). in fact theres only like once I can remember him being called a fag and it had nothing to do with him actually being gay it was literally just like thrown out there the same way you would call someone a bitch.

Has only shown sexual interest in women, yet refuses to have deeper relationships with women in general (possibly because of trauma but who knows) but takes his relationships with his "brothers", specifically zeke, very seriously

Tells zeke and zeke ONLY his real name when zeke was planning to stop being his friend bc shao more or less got boo boo, a like 14 year old black kid, arrested for selling hard drugs; he was clearly scared and trying to do anything to keep zeke around, literally chasing him down the street and hounding him until he got zeke to stop and argue with him

Kept threatening to beat up zeke in the end but couldn't actually bring himself to do so, instead saying that zeke is "fucking lucky" before walking away

Let's zeke get away with things that nobody else can, in general just has a weird soft spot for ezekiel that he shows with nobody else

when shao found dizzee with thor in a vaguely compromising situation (like they were just shirtless covered in paint sleeping next to each other but shao had also seen everything they painted on the walls ((which some of it was sus)), it was clear they had painted on each others bodies and dizzee had been routinely disappearing with this guy for weeks now yet not producing nearly as much art, at least, as far as we audience members know) he didnt judge him but instead, waited for him to get cleaned up and then told him something along the lines of "theres a reason why im so secretive blah blah blah [not everyone needs to know everything about me]", which, in context, kinda implies that he might be a lil. a lil homiesexual. jus a lil.

whenever even the possibility of zeke leaving him comes up he absolutely loses it. he has literally cost ezekiel life changing opportunities because he thought zeke would just up and leave him for them. this could be abandonment issues bc he's a severely traumatized character, and that probably does contribute to it, but it also is just not a reaction he has to any of their other friends just randomly dipping in and out of his life soooooo

generally speaking, this mfer has got either bisexual with a big hard on for zeke coding or homosexual with terrible internalized homophobia and still a hard on for zeke coding. either fucking way, that nigga gay. he gay as hell. gay as fuck man. there wasn't really much to analyze here tbh bc the coding is just so fucking obvious if you look for it or you are/have been a gay person who's dealt with at least a little bit of internalized homophobia.

also, just a sidenote, idk how fucking old shao, but I'm praying hes like at max 19 bc I'm pretty sure zeke is a minor in this show and shao definetly is not so the whole him being heavily implied to have a crush on ezekiel thing is kinda. oof. not oof if zeke is like 17 but any younger than that? OOF.

edit: apparently the characters are only supposed to be a year apart in age but i had no clue about that before writing this post and since shaos age was never actually stated in the show i naturally assumed he was an adult since his actor Looks Like An Adult. this is definetly on me to a certain extent, but i also never saw anything about this when trying to find our their ages so 🤷‍♀️ maybe i just didnt look deep enough, sorry!

now moving on to the main event...marcus dizzee kipling :]

so, first things first, let's talk enby coding bc him being bisexual was already confirmed!

um, to start off, I just wanna say I dont think this enby coding was intentional or even really coding, it's just moreso me being a dizzee kin on main and knowing as a transmasc enby he has very transmasc enby vibes. for example:

cool, gender neutral nickname that everyone calls him

paints nails various different colors

the whole wardrobe is just a transmasc enby heaven...fishnet shirts, jean overalls, jackets and cuffed pants galore, the big colorful pins, etc

gender neutral hairstyle (when I had my fro it was very sexy and made it easy to transition between hyper masc and vaguely fem, which is pog)

comparing himself to/representing himself consistently with an alien character (though this is meant to represent his sexuality, it could also double as a gender thing too, not neccesarily bc of the whole nonbinary alien trope but bc an enby who likes aliens might heavily identify or compare themselves to whatever their idea of an alien is, whether that just be a genderless entity or a motherfucker with fly style and no need to be perceived as anything other Wacky As Hell)

moving on from there, let's talk about how his queerness is presented to us and how, while it may be a really good piece of representation, especially coming from netflix, it still lacks in A Lot of places.

so, let's start with good things!

i personally really like the get down's queer rep with dizzee bc it's (for the most part) nonsexualized and very very soft, about dizzee figuring himself out and realizing there is a place where he fits in, and about two teenagers in the 70s falling in love over their shared passion for street art. it also features an interracial couple where both boys challenge stereotypes both about queer men and men of color, which is epic poggers and very sexy. this piece of rep specifically is very important to me bc I am a queer black person and even tho interracial relationships are mostly normalized now, I've still had people give me shit for primarily dating white people in a town that is...primarily white lol

mm anyways, I can also appreciate how in the get down, dizzee being represented by rumi the alien is not a thing specifically related to gender (as it often is) and instead is about his sexuality and just in general weirdness and how it has led to him being alienated amongst his peers, poc or otherwise. him seeing himself as an alien is not about just his queerness, which is important, it is about him being a queer black man who talks different, acts different, dresses different and is "soft"—he isnt a walking black male stereotype and he wouldnt have been seen as masculine back in the 70s by any stretch of the imagination. this can be relatable to a wide spectrum of queer poc, from queer black men currently who still have to deal with this shit or to people like myself who are afab neurodivergent mixed race enbies that have always been signaled out as weird and alienated for it. dizzee is god rep bc while he has a small part in this show, his parts are very impactful, hard hitting and show queer poc of all ages that they arent alone and that it's okay to "weird", you just need to embrace it because somebody will love you for you, as thor did for dizzee.

that being said theres um. some minor problemas here,,,

namely:

dizzee and thors first kiss

the lack of development this pairing got

the way dizzee was confirmed bisexual off screen, he never said the words himself, just showed interest in both genders

the way dizzee and thor were never even confirmed boyfriends or just fwb so most of the fandom just calls them boyfriends bc Why Not

dizzee was implied fucking DEAD??? AT THE END OF THE SERIES?????? AND THOR WAS IMPLIED ARRESTED?????????????

now, these might have been things that wouldve been fine had the show been given it's full run but it wasnt which is why we are now left with probelms.

so, from the top, let's go over these: dizzee and thor's first (and only "on screen") kiss was one that was shown in a montage of other queer people making over and doing other vaguely romantic/sexual things, one of those things being a whole ass naked titty being mouthed at, but the actual kiss...was just not shown? like they really did just say "yes they kissed <3 you know this from the context clues of it being in a montage with kissing, hickey giving and titty sucking <3 but no we will not show it <3" LIKE HELLO? I SAW A NAKED BOOBIE BUT NOT TWO MEN KISS??? HUH????????

also, dizzee and thor were both fucking high as hell during this bit like this isnt a terrible thing but it's also like sometimes you do shit when you're high that you wouldnt do sober and they just never kissed again on screen so like?? like idk that's not that bad but it does kinda irk me since they deadass got no other on screen intimacy after that unless you including painting on eacher other or sleeping next to each other on a shitty mattress but not touching at all during it bc they were both at opposite ends of the mattress like half way off it

so yeah, that was trash. then we got lack of development, which kinda goes with the "dizzee being a bisexual but he never says it in canon" thing cause like...okay dizzee was already sort of a side character from the get go like he wasnt the mc by any means, but he became way more of a background character as things continued until we basically only saw him for performances or when he was with thor, yet they got no fucking development as a pairing other than "dizzee realize he gay, he like thor, he and thor spend time together and ig probably do some gay stuff but we dont really know bc we only ever see them do graffiti together now" like?? tf am I supposed to do with that shit. answer. quickly. and then theres dizzee not being confirmed bisexual, which is just a running problem with shows literally doing everything to say a character is bi except for having the character just...say they're bi? which would be so easy? like a good way dizzee and thor couldve had some development is by thor teaching dizzee things about the queer community that he didnt even know existed, thor couldve helped him understand what being bi meant and helped him label himself and whatnot but instead we got an off screen confirmation that the writers had bisexual in mind when writing him. which is garbagé.

the whole thor and dizzee never having a confirmed relationship status is also a development problem cause like literally nobody knows if they were just friends who made out, maybe fucked, who knows, or if they were dating bc dizzee does give a love confession but a love confession doesn't mean there is a relationship, especially since thor didn't say he was in love either (as far as I remember, I could be wrong, plus whether or not that really happened or was apart of dizzee literally overdosing during a performance is unclear so 🤪)

and now for the biggest issue...bury your gays trope.

during the season 2 finale, dizzee and thor are chased by cops after they are found doing graffiti, one of the cops is able to catch thor while the other chases dizzee into a train tunnel and there is a train seen headed straight for him before the show cuts to black on a train horn. the show writers claim that if they had gotten another season, dizzee wouldve been alive but since they didnt and since that's essentially super fan trivia knowledge, most people dont fucking know that and instead had to watch a black queer teenager chose death over being fucking arrested by a white cop. on top of that, thor didnt see any of that shit because he was caught and the cop started hauling him off while dizzee was still being chased so thor literally has no clue where his friend/possible boyfriend fucking is or that he's likely dead in a goddamn tunnel all alone, unless you count the fucking pig that chased him in there who wouldve died too. this shows rep was so fucking good as far as most shows go on not having major fucking problems, on not being toxic and over sexualized, etc, etc. and then they just. killed a black queer teenager for no fucking reason. like it was literally the last episode ever, it would add nothing to the plot, it would just devastate fans and devastate it fucking did. I dont cry easy but seeing a character I identified with, who I had hyperfixated on, die because he'd rather that than be arrested is terrible. it fucking sucked.

so yeah. that's my all too extensive thoughts/analysis on the get down's queerness. theres definitely stuff I missed, or misinterpreted, or looked too much into, etc, etc., but this was a fun thing to spend time writing sooo yeah!! thanks for the ask anon, sorry this was just a big rambley info dump, but hopefully you get some enjoyment out of it since it took like 3 hours at least 😭😭 feel free to ask clarifying questions lol

[ssamie]

seven. STARGAZING

suna rintaro x fem! mitsuri reader

(kny x hq)

warnings: spelling mistakes,  3k+ words, italicized words/ sentences are her thoughts, mitsuri’s hair+eye color was used.

gen masterlist.      sakura mochi.

"why the hell is that brat crying?!" sanemi exclaimed in irritation as he threw a pillow at y/n's head

"ara~ dont be so insensitive, shinazugawa-kun" shinobu cooed at him "y/n-chan here had just been recently put into the 'friendzone', as she calls it" she said

"hah? that's it?" sanemi scoffed "i know someone who's been at it for years. atleast he's not bawling his eyes out like a child" 

"w-who is it, sanemi-kun?" she sniffled lightly as she raised her head from shinobu's lap "heh." sanemi sneered as he eyed obanai who has been glaring him down for the past few minutes "its that snake fucker-" 

oabani cut him off by quickly kicking him away, making sanemi's body hit the wall with a loud thud, leaving cracks onto the concrete upon contact. "you shouldn't listen to him." obanai said to her "he's just messing with you" 

obanai walked over to her side, taking her away from shinobu and situating her on his lap. 

"ara ara~ have fun you two" shinobu cooed at them as she walked away. but of course, not before sending a jab towards giyuu. "ara~ i bet you're wondering what that's like. right, tomioka-san?" she asked mockingly 

"well you better stop wondering since it's never gonna happen anyways" shinobu laughed "its not like anyone likes you here" 

giyuu didn't react, and simply stared stoicly at her. "im not disliked by people." he said. 

"whatever helps you sleep at night" shinobu cooed as she waved him off

"now.." obanai trailed off "who made you cry like this?" he asked "i'll kill them." he said, as kaburamaru hissed in agreement 

she sulked and slouched back onto his chest, playing with her hair as obanai rested his chin on her shoulders "well, i don't want you to kill suna-kun" she hummed 

"how would he become my husband if he dies?" 

silence. absolute silence. everyone in the room looked at each other before turning ghostly pale, looking nervously at obanai before innocently whistling and pretending to mind their own business. 

"your- your what?" obanai stammered as he let out a shaky laugh 

"my husband" she answered with a huff 

"i've been searching for so long, and who would've guessed i'd find him through highschool!" she squealed 

"ara ara~ b-but you said you were looking for a man stronger than you, y/n-chan" shinobu cooed out with a sheepish laugh 

"i doubt that suna person fits that description" giyuu commented 

she then suddenly perks up and shakes her head with a smile on her face. "nope! but suna-kun makes me so weak when he smiles or talks or blinks or sleeps or breath near me!!" she squeals 

"i feel like turning into a puddle when he talks! a puddle!!" she said 

she laid on the ground in a starfish position with a dreamy look on her face, "like this!" she said as to emphasise her point 

"i see! he sounds like a flamboyant man, indeed!" uzui exclaimed with a grin 

"w-well...i guess all you can do is hope he returns your feelings someday" obanai muttered "if he doesn't then im sure there's still someone out there who would happily love and care for you" he said 

"haha! simply marry one, two, or three flamboyant men you lay your eyes on!" uzui exclaimed with a laugh "im pretty sure you're the only one here who would want three lovers all at the same time" giyuu muttered 

"how unflamboyant of you, tomioka!" uzui sneered 

y/n looked back at obanai and curiously cocked her head to the side, "it's so weird.."

"how could you know so much about topics like these, obanai-kun?" she asked 

"how could i not." obanai mumbled bitterly as a gloomy aura surrounded his form. 

suddenly, a loud thumping of feet caught all the hashiras' attentions. the door slammed open, revealing a very frantic nezuko. she ran towards the love hashira and hid herself under her haori. 

"nezuko-chan?" y/n muttered curiously as she peeked under her haori to look down at the girl. "hmm" nezuko hummed back through her muzzle. 

suddenly, two sets of footsteps followed. as well as loud screaming. 

"nezuko-chaaannnn~" zenitsu cooed loudly "come here, nezuko-chan~" 

"zenitsu! leave her alone already!" tanjiro exclaimed in a frantic tone as he tried to hold zenitsu back "nezuk- aCK! WHAT IS THIS?! IS THIS HEAVEN?!" zenitsu shrieked as he caught sight of the hashira holding the girl in her arms 

"zenitsu! cut it out! let's go!" tanjiro scolded him as he dragged the blond away "NO NO! I WANNA SEE NEZUKO-CHAN AND Y/N-SENPAIII!!!" zenitsu wailed as tanjiro ushered him out of the room 

"leave it zenitsu! let's go eat so you can calm down" tanjiro said with a sigh 

"WAIT! I WANNA JOIN YOU!!" y/n yelled as she hurriedly ran after the two 

"wait-" obanai's words were ignored, seeing as she was already out the door, leaving a trail of dust behind her "i was gonna tell her she didn't have any money." obanai mumbled as he glanced at her bag, which was situated by the corner of the room. 

"hmm, mhhm" nezuko hummed as she sat herself beside sanemi 

"dont sit next to me, you eyesore" sanemi scowled "there's plenty of space there by tomioka!" 

"ara~ it seems even nezuko-chan doesn't like tomioka-san after all" shinobu cooed in pity "how sad." 

"shut up, woman." 

"ahhh, this is so good~" she said with a content sigh as she practically inhaled the bowl of ramen "tanjiro-kun, we should eat out together more often" she said "you seem to know a lot of good restaurants" 

tanjiro smiled and waved his hands dismissively, nodding his head as he placed more food into her plate. "its no big deal, y/n-senpai. i used to come here with nezuko a lot" he said "and, we should definitely eat together more often!" he said with a smile as sparkles seemed to surround him 

'my god.' she breathed in and out 

'tanjiro is so cute! and so nice! he would definitely make a good husband!' she thought to herself 

'and zenitsu..' she trailed off, her eyes slowly averting towards the blond 

'zenitsu is so.. SCARY?! WHAT'S WITH THAT FACE?!' 

she smiled shakily as she caught sight of zenitsu's grim expression, paired along with a glare as he mumbled angrily to himself "what's bothering you zenitsu-kun?" she asked him 

"what's bothering me? what's bOTHERING ME?!?" he shrieked "I SHOULD BE THE ONE SITTING NEXT TO YOU, Y/N-SENPAI! BUT INSTEAD THAT FOREHEAD BOY TOOK MY SPOT!" zenitsu scowled 

"AND YOU!" tanjiro jumped as zenitsu pointed an accusing finger to his face "YOU'VE BEEN STEALING MY THUNDER, HAVEN'T YOU?! YOU'VE BEEN TALKING HER UP SO SHE WOULDN'T BE MY WIFE! YOU'RE SO CRUEL!!" zenitsu exclaimed 

tanjiro blinked in shock as he cluelessly shook his head in response "i wasn't doing anything like that!" he said 

"YES YOU WERE!!" zenitsu screamed in aggravation "now im definitely gonna be left alone. to die. to rot. to reencarnate as a miserable snail that never finds a mate!" 

tanjiro sweat dropped as he gave zenitsu a weirded out glare "what are you even talking about?" 

"ah, but look at it this way, zenitsu!" she chimed in "by sitting across from me, it's like we're on a date! that's usually how it goes with couples, you know?" she cooed as she placed her hands on top of his 

zenitsu paled as his eyes repeatedly dart from her and their hands. "a-a date?" he squeaked out 

"oh well... something like that" she chuckled nervously, not at all used to the blond being this quiet 

"i see." zenitsu stated in an unusually serious tone. "tanjiro." he turned to look at the burgundy-haired boy. "i can now die in peace. my life, dreams and goals are fulfilled. i can die a happy man." 

"what are you talking about?" tanjiro sweat dropped 

just then, a distinctive sound of a bell rang, signalling that a person had entered the doors. she looked back to see who has entered, all while still munching on a piece of meat and ignoring zenitsu, who was currently practicing his wedding vows. 

"suna-kun?" she subconsciously called out as she  recognised the person to be none other than suna rintarou himself

"oh, hey bunny" suna sent her a nod as he trudged into the restaurant, carrying a skateboard with him. 

"suna-kun!! hi! what are you doing here?" she asked him "im picking up some food for later" he answered mindlessly as he walked towards her table

"oh hey.." suna nodded at tanjiro and zenitsu.

"hi, are you a friend of y/n-senpai?" tanjiro asked with a kind smile "friend? more like a leech. he's interrupting my time with her!!" zenitsu whispered to tanjiro

"uh, yeah. she's also our manager" suna answered unbotheredly despite feeling zenitsu's glare on him

tanjiro looked at y/n, who seemed to be too immersed in suna's face at the moment, given that she was staring lovingly at him with lovesick eyes. "y/n-senpai, i think zenitsu and i need to go back to the dojo" tanjiro said with a soft laugh. he gripped zenitsu's haori as he forced the blond to stand and walk away despite his protests. 

"eh? really?" she asked them, "oh well.. okay.." 

"i guess i'll just pay for your guys' meals then!" she clasped her hands in delight as she pulled out a wallet from her pocket "oh no, it seems ive taken the wrong wallet" she hummed in feign innocence

she shrugged and made a shushing motion to the boys "oh well. don't tell giyuu-san~" she cooed 

"we won't!!" tanjiro exclaimed as he waved her goodbye. she waved them off, watching their figures disappear with a smile on her face. she laughed softly as she heard zenitsu's distant screams.

"that was cute" suna snickered "didn't know your friends were that nice. unlike that bandaged dude" 

she smiled apologetically at him and sighed "sorry about obanai-kun.. it takes a while to get on his good side, i suppose" she said "but hes a very nice person. you just gotta be patient with him" she said 

"i don't think i have the patience for that" suna yawned 

"anyways, sushi or tempura?" he asked "why are you asking me?" she asked 

"well, you're gonna be eating with me so might as well let you pick" he said with a nonchalant shrug. she blinked dumbly at him as she watched him start to skim through the menu "wait- why would i be eating with you??" 

"well usually, when guys take a girl out for dinner, they'd be eating right?" suna said with a chuckle 

'take me out.. ME?! AND HIM?!'  she panicked 

'DINNER?! but i already ate..' she looked down at her stomach, and sweat dropped upon feeling it rumble 

'nevermind.. im still hungry' she thought to herself 

"u-uhm.. sushi?" she answered with slight hesitance "sushi it is" suna said with a nod as he proceeded to order. 

'ahshhsjsj!!! is this a date?! am i out of the 'friendzone'?? ' she thought 

"good thing i have you with me. or else i'll have to invite tsumu out instead" suna gagged "that piss head's been testing me lately." he said "so i'd much rather spend time with my best friend" he said in a teasing tone, nudging her with his elbow as he laughed 

"a-ah.. yes.. right" she responded. she smiled blankly as she stared at the air before her, slowly feeling herself wither away into nothingness. 

"here you are, sir! takeout order for sushi!" the waitress announced as she placed the paper bag on the table "that was fast" suna mumbled as he paid her the amount

"ah thank you! sir and maam-" the waitress sweat dropped as she made eye contact with the pink and green haired girl. the lady was well aware that she had already eaten a full course meal a few moments prior. she had personally watched her inhale three bowls of ramen and two plates of pudding. though she still let her be. 

"anyways. i was heading to the skatepark, let's eat there" suna said "i didnt know you skate, suna-kun" she said with a soft smile as her eyes raked down his form 

'ahh, hes looking especially good with a sketeboard..' she thought to herself 

'he looks so cool' she squealed internally 

'calm down, calm down' she thought as she eased her erratic breathing down 

"its just a hobby i guess" suna shrugged as he stretched his arms over his head "i could even teach ya if ya want" suna said with a small smirk as he handed her the board 

her eyes landed on the board with a glimmer of curiosity. she smiled nervously and nodded "sure! though, I'd probably fall a lot.." she muttered 

"dont worry, i'll catch you" 

----

"y/n- y/n please just trust me" suna said with a grunt "it's not that bad!" 

"yes it is! it's so-wait suna-kun it's moving!!" she whined as the board skidded ever so lightly. "calm down" suna chuckled, with a strained smile as he felt her already deathly grip tighten even more around his arm 

"okay, how bout this" suna hummed out as he clasped her shoulders in his hands. "if you manage to learn atleast one trick tonight, we can go stargazing or whatever" 

'stargazing with suna.. stargazing.. suna..'  she chanted repeatedly in her head 

wordlessly, she snatched the board and placed it by the ramp, and skated down with ease. "..." suna stared at her from across the ramp as she landed with a flip. 

"so we've been going through hell and back for so long. when this whole time, you could do it all along" suna sighed "i was just motivated!" she exclaimed as she ran towards him 

"by what? stargazing?" suna chuckled as he ruffled her hair with his hand "exactly!" she replied with a bright grin 

suna shook his head with a smile as he led her to a bench, setting down his board on the ground and the bag of sushi between them  "you're just so adorable, aren't ya" suna said in a teasing tone as he playfully rolled his eyes at her 

'AM I?? AM I ADORABLE?!' she panicked 

"so." suna mused "how's your life going, bunny?" 

"ahm, it's nice.." she muttered back shyly as she took a bite of the sushi "how about you, suna-kun?" she asked him "how has your life been going?" suna shrugged and leaned back on the bench, eyes landing on the constellation of stars above them 

"its been normal. not much going on other than recording random fights at school" he said "but it's been fun having you around, bunny" he said as he turned to look at her

only to sweat drop upon seeing her mutter flusteredly to herself, all while her face burns a bright red color 

'he looks so cool and mysterious like that' she thought 

'he has such a pretty side profile!!' she fawned 

'his eyes are all sparkly from the moonlight and stars!!' she basically seethed as she screamed in her head

"hey, you okay?" suna chuckled as he taps on her forehead "uh im fine.." she muttered flusteredly as her eyes crossed to focus on his finger, which was still tapping on her forehead 

"heh, you better be or else im getting my ass beat by the twins" he said jokingly as he crossed his arms over his chest "the twins.." she mumbled, scratching her head as she pondered over a thought that seems to nag at her 

"the twins, the twins,, oh they're waiting for me at home!!" she frantically opened her phone and went to the messaging app. she smiled nervously as she was greeted with over a hundred texts from the two boys 

"ah.. i forgot about the movie night tsumu-kun proposed.." she chuckled sheepishly as she sunk down on the seat out of guilt "hm.. let's go then" suna said as he held his hand out for her to take 

"im in the mood to crash your guys' movie night" suna chuckled as he pulled her up to her feet

'ADJSFHJKL HANDS HANDS HANDS!!' she panicked 

she looked at their loosely intertwined hands. his grip was quite loose, almost not even there in the first place. his fingers tangled nicely with hers as they walked. it was a cliche she had never thought she'd experience. walking hand in hand with the person you admire under the moon and stars. 

'he's so warm..' she thought as she felt the slightest bit of body heat getting transferred onto her 

"alright. get ready to run, bunny" suna teased as his hand moved to grip her wrist "if you're too slow, i won't be comin' back for you" he taunted playfully as he started running while dragging her along

"okay! i'll run in full speed!" she huffed back with a  smile of determination as she pried his hand off her wrist and went to grip his instead 

"wait wait. not full speed. y/n-" suna chuckled nervously as he tried to plant himself down on the ground with his feet 

he was well aware that her body was simply built different, if anything. her speed, stamina, and strength was enough to make a grown man cry, and frankly, he was in no mood to deal with that at the moment. 

"okay, suna-kun! let's go!" she exclaimed as she started running 

"wait waIT WAIT-" 

-----

"welcome home, y/n" osamu greeted her with a small smile as he ushered the girl into the fort they had made 

"and goodbye suna" he said to the brunette before he could even step onto the porch "oi! let me in!" suna said with a grunt as he blocked the door from closing with his foot "i didnt go through all that for nothing" suna muttered as he waltzed inside their home uninvited 

"oi sunarin!! how dare you hog y/n-chan to yerself?!" atsumu snarled as he went to kick suna on the back "shut up you blond bitch" suna scowled as he threw a random pillow at atsumu's face 

"tch" atsumu scoffed childishly the blond then blinked curiously as a snicker went past his lips "oi sunarin, yer pussy bangs are looking worse than usual" atsumu laughed "what happened to ya?" 

"we ran so fast i think the wind split my skull open" suna groaned as he went to fix his hair "ara~ but i slowed down so you wouldn't be so tired, suna-kun" she said with a tone of concern 

"you slowed down? that was slow for you?" suna scoffed in disbelief 

"well anyways, i have something to tell ya, y/n-chan!" atsumu beamed as he slung his arm around her shoulder "i was supposed to tell you this, but that was before suna stole ya from me!!" atsumu hissed at the brunette 

suna didn't reply, but simply flipped the blond off in response. "what is it, tsumu-kun?" she asked him as she discarded herself of her haori "i want ya to meet a friend of mine tomorrow" he said 

"oh that's nice! i'd love to meet them!" she beamed happily "but one thing to consider" atsumu said in a warning tone. he threw a bottle of sanitizer at her and a pack of masks and latex gloves. 

"we gotta make sure yer clean"

[zuffer-weird-girl]

May i request for overhaul just being vulnerable because of the first time he felt "threatened" by somebody trying to steal angel away? And he feels really terrible about it? (Even if he took care of the issue...the person- already?) You may decline! Thankyou

He wasn't the best to be involved with.

Heck, he would be a hypocrite if he deny such a thing. He is arrogant, cold and capable of kill someone if they accidentaly bumo onto him. Not even mentioning the sociopath part of his persona.

Resume. He is a mess of a man. Sometimes he even question it if you were actually sane to still be with him. Say you loved him for who he is and stay by his side even on his worsts moments where he knows he is an absolute asshole if it let him.

He knew you deserved better. He knew it.... yet his selfishness was way bigger than his common sense; he didn't wanted to lose one of the only good things on his fucked up life.

He was too possesive.

Yet seing you there... smilling and actually laughing at that man's words and gestures made his stomach turn into a knot as he gripped on his glass a little bit tighter as he stared at the scene with nonchalant expression.

"Such a beautiful person like yourself involved with us? A bunch of yakusas? Pardon but I mistook you with actual royalty." The brunette haired man spoke as you giggled and waved him off.

"Please, this is beyond exaggerating sir!"

"I beg your kindness to call me Harishima. It would be a blessing to hear my name be spoken by such a sweet angel's voice."

Angel? Angel... that was his nickname for you. How dare he-

"Shit! You're okay Overhaul?" He heard Chrono's blvoice and he only let out a confused noise before looking at his own hand... despite the gloves on, that was sign of his blood dropping on the floor along with the remains of what used to be a glass.

He didn't even used his quirk to do that... impressive. His subconscious spoke louder this time.

He merely grabbed a napkin and started to wipe it off until he heard your voice. He stared down and found you with wide worried eyes directioners at his injury as his chest somehow fluttered in relief.

Your attention was on him. You carried about him.

"What happened?!" You took the napkin out of his hand and sweetly wipe while holding his hand on yours... many were shock that Overhaul didn't killed you right there for touching him without permission.

No. The man was staring down at you like it was not a big deal. Letting you treat his wound as you asked for anyone for some bandages.

The worry in your eyes were genuine... you didn't had the same look towards that filth.

"Kai I think we should go to-"

"Oh my." The man you were speaking to appeared and dares to put a hand on your shoulder "Mister we should get to the hospital. I can take both you and this lovely friend of yours there by my car."

"Would you really do that?" You asked in astonishement and relief as the man nodded with a smile.

His eye twitched at the sign. Snatching his hand back he took off his gloves and let it fall to the ground as he used hsi quirk on his own hand. Poker face present with a tinge of hate and wish to kill as he stared Harishima on the eyes.

"As you can see-" his hand returned back to normal "I dont need this stupid charity of yours. And I command you to stop this disgusting flirting on my partner. Unless of course you dont treasure your life this much." He narrowed his eyes at the quivering man before telling you to follow him since he was done of this reunion.

You looked at Hari whose shrugged before quickly apologizing to Harishima and going after your fuming boyfriend.

He could hear your footsteps after him but he didn't even dared to look behind his shoulder or to even spoke one single word. On the car it held such a tension atmosphere that could be snapped by a freacking needle.

Now, back to the safety of you guys shared room, you looked at your boyfriend changing out of his clothes before gulping and have thhe courage to speak.

"I thought we were suppose to get out of there at 10? Is still barely 9 p.m Kai..."

He stop mid track on folding his shirt. Golden eyes looking slowly at your figurine before they retreated, as well as his actions of searching something to wear at night after taking a shower.

"If you wished to pass time with that filth then you should had at least said on my face."

The time your ears got his sentence you widened your eyes and stared at him for solid minutes in shock as he refused to lock gazes once again.

"What are you... talking about?" You giggled "Wait... no. Kai you were-! Oh!!!" your giggles got into a point you were laughing, back on the bed as Chisaki arched one eyebrow up as one of his eye also twitched in anger.

Making fun of him after what happened. You were lucky enough he treasured you or else you would be around on all room and being cleaned out of it by Chronostasis.

"Quiet." He commanded and you only laughed harder, giggling when he grabbed on your shoulder and forced you to look at the murderous glare he had on his face as you smirked up at him.

"You were jealous of Harishim-"

"Spoke his entire name. Go on." He narrowed his eyes down at you and clenched his grip on warning "I dare you to do it."

Smilling up at him you giggled one last time.

"I lost count of how many times you got jealous hun." You giggled more before you stopped when he let your shoulder go, turning his back to you "Kai..?"

"... you know dearest. That... you're free to go. There's no need to remain here against your own will." That was the last thing he said before getting inside the shower, leaving you at the point of your heart to burst out of your chest.

What was he talking about?

After some torturing minutes he got out of the shower and widened his eyes at seing you, boucing your leg still waiting for him but soon they got back to normal.

"I thought you would be gone by now." He spoke nonchantly as you hesitantly looked up at him.

"Do you want me to?" His heart did a weird thing, but it seemed like it had contracted at seing your worry and how afraid you seemed to be.

"If it is against your own will and you're lying then yes." He said in the most cold tone of voice possible until you got up to look up at him, inches apart from his body.

"Why would I pretend something like that? We both know I cant even hide you that I ate a candy bar without you looking!"

"... what I am saying is..." he sighed, his pride not even allowing him to look at your eyes "I don't think I am the most suitable person to you. After all you're just so... pure."

You blinked up at him in surprise and shock... he wasn't only jealous this time, but insecure. Heavens, when was the time you ever saw your Chisaki Kai, OVERHAUL, insecure?!

"This is new..." you mumbled, finally catching his attention enough for him to look at you "Kai, you treat me well enough. Jesus you spoil me rootless since I almost beg you to not do it!"

"Is not a matter of money. Is a matter of treatment. I should at least... give enough of affection for you to not go to other males seeking for such things." He looked away, scratching the back of his neck until he let out a gasp at you hugging him tightly.

"You idiot." He narrowed his gaze at you who had your head on his chest "I couldn't ever seek attention from other guys since I have you. Germophobic and all of your package." You looked up at him as he stood with his arms out awkwardly.

"Yet you seemed quite fond of that sick-"

"Is a matter of good education. I dont even know if you noticed but everytime he tried touching me I brushed off. Just at that time when he was suggesting to take you on a hospital!"

His gaze slowly softened.

"You are the only one for my eyes dammit! I love you for you Chisaki! Sure, our affectionate touches might be rare but that's what make it so special... and you're getting better on your mysophobia! Geez last time there was a dirt on the floor instead of wanting to kill someone you went there and clean it yourself!"

"That was simply because no one else can clean something properly." He brushed it off as you again rested your head on his chest with a sigh.

"Trust me at least once Kai..." you mumbled until you gasped when you felt him hugging you back slowly with one arm as the other was occupied on petting your head.

"I dont trust on others... thinking they can take what is mine away. The wish of killing them is huge, yet I cant deny that some of them could treat you at least better."

"That's not true idiot!" You gasped when he flipped your head and pouting up at him as he looked down at you with a soft look yet lips pressed onto a thin line as always.

"You are insufferable sometimes you know that." He sighed with closed yes, detaching his arms away from you.

"And you were jealous of me some hours ago." You smiled at him "tsking" at your words and then you peeked his cheek, making him gag and press his hand on the area where your lips met his skin.

"... go to sleep already will you." He said before muttering some excuse to leave as you giggled at his attitude.

He gave only a few minutes, enough for you to sleep as he come back to the bedroom and saw you on the bed... his mind told him something and his heart another.

He decided to be bold this time. Getting behind your back and slowly putting his arms at your waist and pulling you to his chest as he breathed in the scent of you and your hair had let out a quiet exhale.

"How did I of all people deserved someone so understanding as you..? My angel."

He would only do this when you werent conscious. This way you couldn't saw how much effect you had on the most fearful and dangerous villains of Japan. A gangster. A killer.

Yet you were there... as always.

Hee could only promise he would try to be a better man, give a world cured off the diseaces for you to live.... After all, that was the minimun he could do after what you did and still do for him.

Poor man doesn't even know you were awake the whole time. He was about to live hell tommorow.

[jay-and-dean]

Firefly Chapter 9 : Twenty eight years old, Come what may

By Roonyxx and Jay-and-dean

Pairings : future Dean x reader ?

Summary :  40 years in Hell, but he didn’t spend all this time all alone, he had her.

Prepare to know what happened during those years Dean never talks about. To immerge yourself in Hell, only lit by the mysterious kid growing here…

And to see some of your favorite villains again : Crowley, Lilith, Lucifer… And also Sammy and Jack…

Serie Warnings : Hurt!Dean, Hell (torture, even if we tried to not give it graphic descriptions, creepy demons, blood, violence), swearing, angst, future fluff and smut.

This story is in both Reader’s POV and Dean’s POV

Wordcount : 5900

Note : This is our second collaboration. We can’t both edit the same post, so we decided we would post 1 chapter/2 each, like we did for Same.

We both worked as much on this story and it’s the result of both our brains but also both our hearts.

Please, if you want to show love for this story, don’t forget we were together in this.

This story will be around 10 chapters and we intend to edit it every Saturday if nothing delays it.

Firefly Masterlist

Jay’s Masterlist

Roonyxx Masterlist

——————————————————————————————

9. Twenty years old : Come what may

Reader’s Pov

She opened her eyes in a gasp, almost like she had slept holding her breath. She put her hand on her chest and immediately, the smell of the bunker calmed her.

This was no Hell, and even if it had been, the Winchesters had made sure Hell would never be what it was before : No Lilith or Alastair, no Lucifer, no knight of Hell…

She let go of the pillow she was holding like she once used to hold Mister Teddy bear; and looked around at the grey room. A little smile appeared on her lips : Everything was perfect.

She didn’t own anything, since Lucifer didn’t really let her pack before locking her back in Hell, but Dean had made sure that her room was welcoming enough. A little alarm clock on the nightstand, next to her glass of water and little bag of candies, a few books behind her bed, because she had always loved books so much ; he had also given her a few extra pillows.

She looked at her open closet, smiling at the memory of going to buy clothes with Dean on the second day. He didn’t want to take the risk to take her far, so they went to the closest store in Lebanon, a tiny store, where only one pair of jeans suited her, so she had bought two of them, two shirts, a few underwears, and a pair of sneakers. But her perfect items were the one Dean had given her. She really didn’t need anything else.

She sat and looked down at her wrists, they were now healed from the deep wounds caused by years of tugging at the chains but a mark was left, a scar. She rubbed her thumb on it, wondering if it would stay, thinking of the books she had read about those people who suffered slavery, their scars couldn’t disappear…

Her eyes wandered in the dark, and the red light of the alarm made her frown, she shivered. 

6:28 am.

That meant the bunker would probably be silent... And silence wasn’t her favorite sound.

She got up on her tiptoes, tugging at Dean’s t-shirt to cover her panties. And, as discreet as she used to leave her princess room with her teddy bear in her hand, she sneaked out.

No blood all over the corridors and no scream anywhere. Dean wasn’t being tortured, he was sound asleep in a bed, not even too cold or too hot, just perfectly surrounded by pillows and safe. 

A sound caught her attention in the kitchen, the calming, already familiar sound of the coffee machine in the morning, and the intoxicating smell that came with it. 

A light smile on her face, still on her tiptoes, she walked to the kitchen to see who was at the origin of that comforting morning sound.

“Hi Sam” she smiled, when he appeared in her field of vision.

“Oh, hi Firefly” he said, immediately correcting himself. “Y/n.”

“You can call me that” she smiled sincerely, earning an awkward chuckle from him. “Is Dean still sleeping ?”

Sam nodded and handed her a coffee, she took it and started blowing on it. The feeling of the flavored steam on her face was one of the things she loved so much about life. One of the million things. 

“D-Dean told me about what you’ve been through to lock Lucifer, and save us all, and me, from his cruelty” she started hesitantly. “I know it isn't worth much next to what you had to live but… Thank you. Thank you so much.”

His eyebrows raised a little, and he looked down while nodding. 

“No, it- it means a lot actually” he said. “Thank you for helping my brother in Hell.”

“I didn’t” she answered right away. “I tried. But he still got tortured everyday, he still had to bleed to death on that concrete floor; cold as death or hot enough to make the blood puddles boil… And I still slept in a bed.”

Sam frowned, biting the inside of his cheek once or twice. 

“You…” he finally spoke. “You had more than your share of horrors. You can’t blame yourself.”

She smiled kindly, she wasn’t ready to stop blaming herself, and as long as she would hate her kind, or at least half her kind that much, she couldn’t really forgive herself. But she had tried, and she was holding on to this.

“I’m going to get back to bed, with Dean” she stated. “Unless you need me for anything.”

“O-okay” he said, surprised, blinking a few times. “No, I dont… Be careful though, Dean is an angry sleeper.”

“He wasn’t angry last morning” she shrugged and left the kitchen still on her tiptoes, her mug close to her face.

She pushed the 11 door slowly, immediately smiling at the strong smell of Dean filling the room. He had been sweating, the room was a little warmer than the corridor, like his body had created a lot of heat during the night.

He was sleeping on his back, the covers crumpled next to him, his black t-shirt bunched up, slightly showing his lower stomach.

She entered slowly, carefully closing the door behind her. She walked to the nightstand to put her coffee there, Dean loved the smell of coffee waking him. 

Then she put one knee on the bed, then the other, to join him in the middle of it. 

“It’s me” she whispered when he reacted in his sleep to her movements. “It’s me Dean.”

She laid next to him , not daring to touch, just enjoying him being so close.

“Morning Firefly” he grunted, stretching his arm to reach the first part of her he could.

His hand landed on her bare thigh, grasping it to bring her closer.

Her hand flattened on his chest and her leg snuggled above his, his soft blond hair tickling her ankle. She looked up at the side of his face, her lips against his shoulder.

“I’m going to get up” he said sleepily. 

“You don’t have too” she whispered, lifting her arm to stroke the hair on his temple. 

She had held him so often, she had stroked his hair countless times… But now that it wasn’t to escort him to his millionth death, everything was different, a true Heaven.

“Yeah…” he said, wrapping his arm around her. “So tell me more about Sue.”

She smiled wide. For once, she also had stories to tell, she could finally debate about the best songs of Led Zeppelin -she hadn’t forgotten one- and tell him what food she liked the most. 

 Dean’s pov

  The bar was not too busy, and just the good, enveloping amount of loud. 

Sam kept looking around worriedly, like some monster was going to show up to hurt them because he had recognized her. But Dean was unfazed, sipping at his beer, his arm on the back of her chair. He had seen her power, and now he was sure of something : Not much could really hurt her, and if anyone tried, he would just rip them like he did Death, Abaddon and Lucifer. Nothing would stop him.

“I was so drunk !” she laughed out loud, telling her story, joy lighting up her whole face, her entire body living her words.

He smiled, engrossed by the sparking in her eyes.

“Sounds like a great evening” Sam nodded.

“Yeah” she said. “It was the first night I knew exactly where I was going to sleep” she added with a serious shadow on her face. 

Dean wrapped his arm around her and used his big hand to put her head on his shoulder. She sighed in content and put a hand on his chest.

They stayed like this for a few moments before she got up.

“I need to pee, Jesus beer !” she said before she left.

Dean watched her leave, drinking a sip of his beer. His flannel made her look small, he remembered how her dresses used to make her so tall.

“You just let her go by herself ?” Sam asked.

“What ?” Dean gave him a mocking face. “I know she is not a big fan of loneliness but I’m pretty sure she likes to be there alone.”

“Someone could recognize her” Sam insisted, ignoring his brother’s comment.

“I gave her a phone, a necklace with sigils to keep her hidden, put a tracking chip in her shoe… You heard what Billie said, no one can recognize her, she learned to vanish into the crowd when she faked her death, her powers are hiding themselves” he stated in a deep voice. “She has been a prisoner all her life, give her a break.”

“I know, I’m… I’m worried sometimes” Sam said. “I really like her, but there are moments when you seem blinded by her, Dean.”

He didn’t answer and leaned to the back of his chair, looking at the restroom door to see her come back.

Dean was not blinded by her. He knew what everyone was thinking. 

They were not hating her, and, after they met her and saw the light within her soul, they even grew pretty fond of her, who wouldn’t ? 

They just didn’t understand that bond Dean and her had, no one did. 

And Dean himself knew it was strange. He had seen her grow, and she had seen him die a thousand times. They had fought and hoped together, and they had suffered. What she had seen all of him, kneeling in his guts to hold his hand… No one could really understand that.

Having her in his home, in his life, was confusing, scary and disturbing. Thinking so much about Hell was unbearable the first three days, and at some point he really feared that it would stay insufferable. And so he stayed occupied, buying her clothes and some girl products, reading on Cambions, interrogating Demons and Angels… Even Billie. 

But Firefly was not the darkness of Hell, she was the light out of it.

The next three days became easier. He felt relieved, like somehow, his hope being alive was a closure for him. A way to give some of his memories more sense and to let go of a part of it. 

And so their bond grew. He remembered their kiss, so long ago, and spent a few hours in his bed wondering if their connection was this kind of bond, or not. And obviously, he had no idea. Of course she was pretty, beautiful even, and had the most radiant smile… But for now all he could really think, was that he needed her there, and that she needed to live for real.

He was confused, and, the more he was failing, for once, to find the right words to explain to his family why she could sit in the driver seat of Baby and turn on the engine without a flinch of him ; why she would always know when he was cold or hot, hungry or bothered before he even noticed ; how well she could know every details of his story… The more their bond made everyone wonder.

Castiel had been the most suspicious, his too serious frown hiding almost entirely the blue of his eyes. He had stared at her, and warned the brothers a hundred times about what a Cambion could do. Sam had reassured him like he could to avoid any poor choice from the angel, and Dean had just ignored him. 

But when Firefly jumped in the angel's arms, her big eyes wet, thanking him a thousand times for freeing Dean, taking his hand to kiss his knuckles… even Castiel didn’t seem so sure of her dangerosity after all.

Sam was trying his best to understand what was going on, to hide his worry behind his usual kindness. Firefly coming to their life was even more disturbing than Jack’s birth, because it wasn’t new the same way for both brothers. 

But once again, each time he felt slightly threatened by the connection between the young woman and his brother, she said or did something that showed how admirative she was of him, and how much she was ready to work on earning his trust, and possibly his friendship.

Jack was never worried, but curious, somehow craving answers about himself in the being that was both so opposed and so close to what he was.

She finally came out, meeting his eyes the second she passed the door and grinned at the music playing. She stopped in the middle of the bar, slowly swinging on the blues notes of guitars, her now shortened but still pretty wild hair nonchalantly moving on the red and black flannel, her hips moved by invisible waves…

And that’s when Dean knew the bond was indeed Love, and that, even if she needed freedom and to leave for other men, he would never stop being desperately in love with his Firefly.   

While his heart was pounding at the realisation, she came closer and took his hand. 

“Dance with me” she asked him.

Dean gave her an awkward chuckle and he could see his brother smirking in the corner of his eye.

“I don’t really da-” he cut off his own sentence and stared at her smile, who was he to put a damper on her mood, how could he resist that smile of hers ? 

With a little groan he got up from his seat and grasped her hand tighter.

“Of course” he went with her to the jukebox, leaning down to her ear and whispering. “What song do you want, sweetheart ?” he stood behind her with his hands on her hips, feeling her move underneath his palms. 

“This one” she put in a coin and as the song started to play. 

Dean turned her around to guide her to the middle of the floor.

“Elvis Presley ?” he questioned,amused, as she put one hand on his chest and another on his shoulder. 

“Yes” she murmured.”I love this song” 

Her head came resting against his chest, making a small smile form on his face at the sweet gesture. He wrapped his arms around her protectively, enjoying the feeling of her against him, ignoring Sam’s look, and some other people glare on them. He knew perfectly well how silly they looked, like a prom in the middle of a small town bar. And he didn’t care the slightest.

They swayed slowly to the song, held by each other, floating in the song. And after a little while, Dean couldn’t help but whisper the lyrics in her ear.

“Take my hand. Take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you” his lips brushed against the shell of her ear, his nose in her hair. 

His heart was beating fast, he was even a little afraid she would hear it.

And when she looked up at him, he just fell harder for her. Her beautiful Y/E/C eyes shone in the dim light of the bar, those eyes that could make anything bearable, her smell surrounded him and at that moment it was just the two of them, all he could feel was her and that’s all he ever wanted to feel from now.

By the time the song slowly came to its end, they both had stopped moving, lost in each other. 

He cleared his throat and let her go with a slightly awkward smile.

“We should head home” he said with a hoarse voice, his eyes having a hard time not looking at her lips.

“Yes, home” she smiled as she said it, like she was testing out the word for the first time and liked how it sounded.

And Dean would be wrong if he didn’t admit he loved the way it sounded from her lips.

 Reader Pov

 Dean parked the impala back in the silent garage. They all got out and made their way inside.

“Thank you for tonight, I really enjoyed it” she told the brothers as her hand rested on the doorknob of her room.

“Yeah it was fun” Dean said as he looked at her, his tongue peeked out to lick at his lips, so Y/n knew something was making him a little nervous. 

“Yeah, it was” Sam repeated, his eyes flickering between his brother and Y/n. 

She could see a faint smile on his lips when he wished them a goodnight as he rounded the corner to his room.

“So…” Dean started. “You think you will sleep okay, Firefly ?” he asked.

“I will Dean, you too ?” she kept her hand on his chest, the need to touch him and have him close all the time was so strong.

He nodded, smiling at her worried face, his hand pushing a stray hair behind her ear. 

“Yeah, I will” he whispered. “No one is going to hurt me, or you.”

She gave him a small smile, reached up on her tiptoes to peck his cheek. 

“Goodnight Dean.”

“Goodnight Firefly.”

She entered her room, her cheeks hurting from smiling. The entire night she couldn’t stop thinking of that one time they kissed, in Hell. It was so long ago and in the heat of the moment, but she cherished that memory like her most precious gift, it had sheltered her from being depressed in the street, and it had kept her sane in the cage. 

She had been in love with him for so long, she didn’t even remember not loving him with all her heart…  but did he like her that way ? Could he look past the fact she wasn’t human ? That she could, like Castiel said, be dangerous… 

She crawled into her bed with all these questions turning over in her head.

_______________________

A familiar scream woke her.

“N-No stop !” she heard.

Dean.

She jumped up and ran to the room next to hers. She could hear his whimpers through the door, her heart aching at those familiar gasps of pain, she carefully opened it and went inside.

He was sweating, his hands tugging at the sheets, panting and a worried frown on his face. She couldn’t stand to see him like this.

She made her way to his bed, sitting next to him to stroke his hair out of his sweaty forehead.

“Dean, it’s okay you’re safe.” 

She sat up against the headboard and pulled him into her the best she could, his face immediately nuzzled into her chest, looking for safety. Her hand came up to stroke the back of his head, he was shaking. She started humming the song they danced to earlier, and when she did, his hands let go of the sheets and wrapped around her, holding her tight against him as his breathing slowed down.

She could feel his eyelashes brush against her neck as he slowly woke up.

“You’re safe Dean, I got you. No one is going to hurt you” she whispered to the top of his head.

“T-Thank you” his voice sounded just like it did when he was in Hell, right after his body was healed but his mind couldn’t yet process what had happened.

“It was Hell” she stated, she didn’t need to ask, she knew how it sounded, she had grown up with it after all.

“Yeah, and then purgatory, Micheal,...” he sighed. 

She angled her head back to look at him, she could see the weight in his eyes, the horrors he had seen. Knowing he had been freed from Hell was her biggest joy, but knowing he had known more horrors in his life made her both desperately sad, and raging with anger.

“Life has been impossibly hard on you” she said as she stroked the short hairs at the nape of his neck.

“Yeah, you can say that… I did some stupid things too” he said with a defeated voice.

“If you do them for the right reasons it’s not stupid Dean” she told him.

“I… I killed people, I used to have this mark, The Mark of Cain” he swallowed hard. “It turned me into a demon” he whispered.

Her throat closed up for a second, she knew of the mark, she read about it when she was looking for a way out of Hell.

“A demon ?” she asked, a little shocked.

“A knight of Hell actually” he said. “I thought of you when I was… I- I was horrible, I hurt so many people… I was the very thing I hunt” he whispered. 

“It wasn’t the real you, Dean” she said. 

“I know, Sammy cured me. He saved my ass so many times” he scoffed.

“I’m so glad you have him. You protect each other...” she inched down the bed to lay next to him, their noses almost touching.

It was just that easy, being with him, that comfortable. He didn’t move, he didn’t look away, his lips so close to hers that she almost could feel them, his glistening freckled skin roamed by shivers. 

“I’m sorry I thought you weren’t real… If I had known I-I would have looked for you, Firefly” his voice wavered with emotion. 

She put her hand on his cheek.

Dean needed comfort and tenderness, he was carrying so much, he always had been so brave… Maybe he didn’t want any of the tenderness she could give, but maybe, just maybe, what she was craving to give him would actually be a great comfort for him.

“Dean. We found each other. I’m never losing you again” she whispered against his lips.

“I’m never letting you go either” he moved his face closer to hers, his lips brushing hers.

 The tips of her hair started floating a little in anticipation, she could feel the rage she had always contained in herself fall totally silent for the first time, and her powers slightly vibrate at his touch. Her eyes were flicking from his to his lips.

Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she could feel his, and all of him, whole and alive under her touch. 

How many times she had dreamed of holding him like this, just not to hold him together, to keep his head out of his own blood, but just to feel his hair and his skin. 

He let his tongue run on his lips, like he did so often, and she thought about kissing him so hard her lips trembled. She thought about the things she experienced without him, even if he never left her mind.

When his beloved lips caught hers in a tender kiss, she closed her eyes again, like she had the first time, to focus on the heavenly feeling of him. But Dean didn't give her time to draw it out.

He moved above her, claiming her mouth deeply, his burning tongue taking advantage of a moan escaping her to find hers. He was so tall and big, his body on hers looked like an eclipse. His broad shoulders rolling to support the weight of his back, giving this man, who already was the most noble, something feline. 

“Firefly, I…” he stopped, panting above her. “That’s probably not a good idea.”

He was afraid of breaking her heart, she knew it, he was afraid of making their relationship blurry. He was probably disturbed by their common past. She knew he was troubled, but she wasn’t.

“I think we both need this” she stated calmly. “It’s a harsh night in the middle of a harsh life, Dean. Let’s just make it softer. Tomorrow, come what may.”

“Come what may” he repeated, leaning to kiss her again, his hungry mouth drifting to her jaw and the pulsating vein on her neck.

And Y/n had a thought for that guy she had slept with the first time, how his kisses felt weird and his desire uncomfortable… This was different, and new. 

“Why are you smiling like that ?” Dean’s soft voice brought her back from her mind. 

“I’m just experiencing something new” she whispered, her hands going under his shirt on his lower back to feel the delicious curve here.

“I…” he stiffed a little. “You told me you had already had sex.”

“Yes, I wasn’t talking about that” she smiled, but his questioning frown didn’t fade right away, his body and mind were still on alert from his nightmare. “You won’t let a smile stop you, will you ?”

“No” he almost growled, bending to nibble at her neck again. 

Her hands slipped inside the back of his pajama pants, happy to find no underwear on her way. She pushed him down on her a little by his ass cheek, fingers digging in his muscles there, earning a low moan against her chest when his hips met hers, and his cock got trapped between them.

His body was desperate, hands trying to touch everything at once, grazing her neck and collarbones, grasping her sides, seizing one of her breasts through her shirt… Her eyes opened on the ceiling, and she noticed a few tiny stars floating in the air.

She gasped when she felt his cock twitching, calling for attention on her pelvis, growing between them. That man she had loved for so long, the Prince Charming Sue wished she would find, her Dean… feeling desire for her.

Trying to spread her legs for him, she realized her too large pants, the one Dean had given her, was stuck under his strong and heavy knee.

“Dean…” she whined trying to get free.

“What is it ?” he lifted his head, his warm green eyes searching her face.

“My pants” she started but he didn’t let her finish, moving above her to tug at her pants, taking them off all the way. 

She smiled looking down, he was kissing up her legs. Her hands reached his head, pushing her fingers through his still sweaty locks. Once again, his hands couldn’t have enough, short nails digging in her thighs and going up to meet her panties.

He flattened his large palm on her underwear, covering it totally with a smirk she didn’t know yet on his face. She felt small, he felt even bigger.

“Can I touch you ?” he almost groaned against the shivering skin of her thigh.

“Please do” she nodded, shyly spreading her legs.

Of course he was talking about this part of her, he had already touched all the rest….

His hand didn’t leave her panties going down between her thighs when he could, feeling her folds through the white fabric. 

And the little stars multiplied. 

She arched her back, her core tightening in an exquisite pressure. She gasped in a jerk of her thighs, surprised that touches so soft could bring a pleasure so intense. She had never known that. She was aware of everything that was Dean on her, all her senses high on him, and her body reacting to the electricity roaming her whole body.

Love, she thought. It was love making her insides burst in such delicious flames. 

“Oh wow” he groaned. “You’re soaking those poor panties.”

And the new grin she had just discovered appeared on his lips again. The tiny stars were now numerous enough to make the ceiling look like a clear summer night.

His lips travelled up to her lower stomach, his nose tickling the skin here while his lips feisted on it. 

“Firefly…” he whispered before his bright white teeth caught the hem of her underwear, to drag it down with him.

She needed him. She painfully needed to feel him, close wasn’t enough, he had to be inside of her. 

So she sat with her legs on both sides of his strong thighs, making him sit back on his ankles, his knees digging on the mattress, and grabbed his face to kiss him, to feel her hero anywhere she could. He seemed to need the same thing : his arms grasped her ass cheek, carrying her up his thighs to rest on his crotch.

She moaned loud when she felt him, so hard, pressed against her bare folds. 

“I need you” she whined. “Dean, I need you so much.”

“I got you” his voice was deep and warm, his parted lips leaving a layer of steam all over her neck.

They were both too eager to wait a second more.

Dean held her strongly with one arm while he almost got on his knees, pushing his pajama pants down with the other hand before he sat on his ankles again. 

She looked down, her delicate hand reaching between them to wrap around him. He was hard and twitching, but his skin was soft.

“Yes…” he moaned. 

“I need you” she just repeated while he was panting against her shoulder. 

Saying that, she lifted her hips slightly and lined him with her to slowly sink on him.

“Fuck…” he groaned when the head of his cock entered her and kept gasping and moaning as she took more and more of him.

She hummed at the stretch of him inside of her, her walls throbbing softly to adjust.

The little stars started to fill the room a little more, like hundreds of fireflies surrounding them. But, even if they acknowledged them, they both were too engrossed in each other to really pay attention.

Y/n breathed out in relief, like she had needed Dean inside of her as much as she had needed air all this time. Her head fell back when her pelvis reached his, filled so completely by him.

“Firefly” he moaned, like it was now the only word he knew.

His hands, still holding her ass cheek, grasped her tighter and moved her on him, making her grind on him hard.

“AH !” she cried out at the pressure on her clit mixed with his cock moving against her walls. 

Her hips started to move along with his hands, in back and forth moves, in circles, until he started trusting up in a trail of growls and she couldn’t move anymore, holding on to him, kissing and licking his neck with a raging hunger.

Hearing his groans and moans, she looked up to look at him, to actually see what pleasure looked like on a man she had seen suffer beyond everything. And it was beautiful.

More than the stars and the sea, more than snow in the trees… It was more beautiful than all she had dreamed of when longing for life. 

The expression on his face could have been confused with pain, but Y/n knew better. His mouth was open and his eyebrows were up above his nose, and the little stars were reflecting in his eyes.

Bending on her, he caught her lips, trying to kiss her during their speeding dance, and failing to just pant loudly in her mouth.

Her whole body was shaking with pleasure, she could feel every inch of him deep inside of her, and her body react to it. Her skin was on fire. In a loud whimper, she let her head fall on his shoulder, her fingers sliding along his sweaty neck.

“Look at me” he said. “Firefly, look at me.”

With great effort, she looked up, resting her forehead on his, unable to focus on anything else than the orgasm preparing to hit like lightning inside her core. 

She had felt pleasure before, and even came a few times, but what was growing inside of her was way more powerful than anything she had known… 

And when it blew up, she silently screamed, her whole body falling back on the mattress as she clenched around Dean, her thighs shaking, her arms limply falling above her head. He was still trusting inside of her, holding her hips up on him.

“OH FUCK” he groaned after a few sharper thrusts.

His hips jerked and his stomach and thighs trembled when he came, falling too above her. He caught his body on his arm to avoid crushing her, keeping her up on his lap with the other hand to not slip out of her body just yet.

“Firefly” he murmured again, in the aftershock of his own orgasm.

“Dean” she answered in her high.

Her fingers went up, wiping the golden dust, vestiges of the little stars’s explosion, off his shoulder, a lazy smile on her face. 

After a minute, he carefully moved next to her in a grunt, slipping out to lay on his side toward her. She stayed on her back, in the same position she had fallen too, only her head turned to him to give him a large smile.

“You’re covered in gold” he chuckled softly.

“You too” she reached his head to shuffle his hair, but it was too wet and she only spreaded the dust on it. “Oh oops.”

His eyes were glowing with joy, roaming her face, a small smile hanging on his lips.

She enjoyed every second of this peaceful moment, knowing too well that it couldn’t last. Dean was a complex man, hurt and abandoned too often, he wouldn’t let go to a peaceful tenderness so easily. 

What she hadn’t anticipated was how fast his defences would grow back… His smile faded and the bliss vanished from his face. Something she didn’t like shadowed his features : Guilt.

“Firefly…” he sighed.

“I know, Dean” she cut him. “This was one time. This was to feel better. A good moment in a harsh life.”

She didn’t want him to feel guilty because of her. He cupped her face and pecked her lips before he grabbed the band of his pants to put it up.

“Do you want me to leave ?” she asked very low.

“No” he shook his head right away. “No stay… I didn’t say that to… you know, but just so you don’t imagine that I… I just… can’t really be with someone, and you… We… are complicated.”

She nodded and turned to her side to take him in her arms, nuzzling on his chest. She could wait for him all her life, she could even wait for something that would never come, that didn’t frighten her.

“Fall back asleep” she said. “I’m chasing the demons.”

Dean’s Pov

He held her close as he watched her sleep. A little smile on his face as he was drawing patterns in the golden dust that covered her entire body. She was so precious to him. She was too good for this dark and rotten world.

She was too good for him…

He had never felt this way about someone, this intense feeling, as if all the little stars that flew over his head mere hours ago were now blooming in his chest. But this life didn’t allow those kinds of feelings.

A deep sigh left his mouth as he thought of all the people that used to be close to him. Charlie, Kevin, Bobby, Jo, Ellen,... so many of them had met a merciless fate because of him.

Because he was poisonous. He would never let that happen to her.

He looked down at her as he felt her nuzzle deeper in his chest. It was then that he promised himself he would do anything to protect his Firefly. Even if that meant breaking his own heart, because after all...

Wasn’t he the biggest danger for her ?

(Next and last chapter on @roonyxx​ blog last week)

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[achillestiel]

the parent trap only works if you’re identical | part five (if this get’s any longer I’m putting it on ao3)

Tag List: @littlerachelbee @imthedoctorlove @deancas-handprint @castiel-loves-dean @wanderermatthews @thelahatiel @priscillahc @mridzyp @multi-fandom-dark-lord @thefantasyfiend @harmonyhelms @imlivingliferightnow ​ @kara-merlin @still-clowning-in-this-house @never-forever-more @continuezmesfilserrants @2musiclover2 @castiels-bitch @stjimmie @cmths5

“Well thank you for dinner but we should probably be heading out.” Dean said towards the end of one of, if not the most, awkward dinner of his life.

“Dad what about dessert?”

“Claire, we need to get going. It’s a long drive back to Kansas.” Dean said, sighing internally because he knew getting Claire out the damn house was going to be hard. 

“Dean, don't be ridiculous. You’ve been driving for most of the day.” Cas said. “We have the spare bedroom-”

“That’s my room!” Gabriel interrupted. 

“It’s not your room Gabriel. It’s the guest room. You have your own house with your own bedroom.” Cas said, giving Gabriel the bitchiest look Dean had ever seen. That was saying a lot seeing as he’d grown up with Sam. “Dean, why don’t you and Claire stay here for the night? Claire can sleep in Jack’s room and you can sleep in the guest room.” Cas suggested. Claire and Jack grinned at each other and Dean just knew they'd stay up half the night whispering to each other. Or plotting. Most likely plotting.  

No. Nope, Absolutely not going to happen in a million goddamn years. 

“Cas, we can just grab a motel if I get tired.” 

“Dad, I’m not staying in a motel if we can stay here.” Claire said stubbornly. “Plus Jack and I were already planning on making waffles in the morning!” Oh, Jesus Christ. These kids were going to be the death of Dean. And damn if both Claire and Jack weren’t giving him the puppy dog eyes. 

 “Fine. Fine. But we’re heading out in the morning Claire, I mean it.”

“After waffles.” Claire and Jack said in unison. When the hell did those two learn how to do that?

“Excellent, now that’s all sorted I’m going to head home as Winchester’s stolen my room. All the wine is gone anyways.” Gabriel asked, slapping his hand on his thighs as he got out of his seat

“See you in the morning Uncle Gabriel.” Claire said with a grin as Gabriel patted her on the head, ruffled Jack’s hair and gave both Dean and Cas pointed looks.  

“Good night Gabriel.” Cas said, giving his brother a stern look Dean didn’t understand. 

“Same to you bro. Good to see you Winchester, try not to keep this madam a stranger.” Gabriel said, nodding towards Claire.

“I’ll try.” Dean said, mainly to placate Gabriel. Gabriel gave them all a salute before heading out. “Nice to see Gabriel hasn’t changed at all.” Dean said once Gabriel had left. 

“No, he’s still the same annoying ass he’s always been.” Cas said. 

“I like him! He’s invited us to Thanksgiving this year.” Claire said. Yeah that’s not happening. Dean thought. 

“I’m going to teach Claire my secret yam recipe.” Jack said cheerfully. 

“Ah yes, Jack Novak’s secret yam recipe. Involving two whole bags of miniature marshmallows and a ruined casserole dish.” Cas said, shaking his head but giving Jack a fond look. 

“Sounds about as successful as when Claire tried to make apple pie on for Father’s Day.”

“What did you set on fire that time?” Jack asked Claire. Claire could stick her tongue out all she wanted but there were still scorch marks in their kitchen. 

“Yes well, Jack why don’t you and Claire clear up while Dean and I have a quick chat. After that, you can show Claire where she’s sleeping for the night. You two can watch a movie in your room.”

“Cool, how’d you feel about The Avengers?”

“Black Widow is a badass.” Claire said. “Rock, paper, scissors for who washes and who dries?” she then asked. 

“Oh Jesus.” Dean muttered as Cas motioned for him to follow him. Instead of going into the warm looking living room, Cas took Dean upstairs and into a spacious guest room. The walls were painted a deep, honey colour that matched the wooden furniture perfectly. Unlike Dean’s guest room, which was really a junk room, it was immaculately clean. Dean was about to make a quip about the cleanliness of the room before he stopped. In the corner of the room was the very turntable he had brought Cas for the first Christmas they had been together. Without saying a word, Dean walked over and glanced at the records neatly stored in their storage box. Bob Dylan, Fleetwood Mac and even the rare Otis Reading record that Dean had found at a vinyl fair. Cas had kept all of them. For a fleeting moment, Dean wondered if the note he’d hidden in the Bob Dylan record was still there. A hastily scribbled note saying I wasn't born to lose you. Oh, the irony. 

-

Cas watched with cautious eyes as Dean ran a hand over the box of records. Each one Dean had carefully picked out for Cas in another life. He had battled over getting rid of them for years. Gabriel had always said it was strange to keep hold of them but Cas could have never parted with them. When Jack was a toddler Cas had played all of them for him, smiling to himself at how Knocking On Heaven’s Door would always send Jack to sleep. 

“I think we need to have a talk.” Cas said, trying to ease the tension that had enveloped the room. 

“Um yeah.” Dean said with a cough as he straightened up, looking away from the records. “Cause apparently I’m cancelling my Thanksgiving plans with Sam to spend the day with my ex-brother-in-law, eating my body weight in mini marshmallows.” Dean said. “Cas...what are we going to do about this?”

“And by this you mean…”

“The kids. There’s no way Claire’s going to just go back to how it was before. Plus, Jack is an awesome kid. There’s no way I want to go back to how it was before. I mean, maybe Jack could stay with me during the summer?”

“And what? I get Claire during Easter? Christmas?” Cas asked, laughing at the absurdity of the situation. “We came up with this arrangement so the kids could live a normal life. What’s going to happen next, I have them for one year and you have them for the other? That won’t work.”

“No shit Cas but...did you see those two at dinner? They’ve only known each other for a few weeks but it’s clear they adore each other. Claire’s gonna be an even bigger pain in my ass after this. I don’t want to break my...our daughter’s heart when we separate them again and I’m sure you dont want that for Jack.”

“Of course I don’t! What do you honestly suggest then because not only did we come to this agreement to have the kids lead normal lives but it was also so we didn’t have to see each other.” Cas said because even though neither of them would say it, they both knew that seeing each other again would end in a huge fight and a lot of sex. 

"Then why did you ask me to stay?" Dean asked. Good question Dean, very good question. 

"Because it's late and you can't drive throughout the night when you've been driving all day." Cas said. Liar a small voice inside Cas said. As much as he annoys you, you still love him. 

"Oh." Dean said in a small voice. 

"Why? What do you expect me to say?"

"Nothing...forget it." Dean said. “You know, now that we’re here and I’ll probably never be here again. About that day you packed, why'd you do it? Why did you just hop on a train and leave?”

“Dean.” Cas groaned. “We were so young. We both had tempers, we said stupid things so I packed. Got on the train and you didn't come after me.”

“I wanted to but I didn’t think you’d want me to follow.” Dean said in a small voice. “Dammit Cas, you just had to send Jack to the exact same camp as Claire didn’t you? ”

“We haven’t spoken in twelve years, how on earth was I supposed to know where you were sending Claire for the summer? It might shock you to hear this but I can’t read your damn mind Dean. I didn’t send Jack there because a little voice in my head said ‘Oh Dean is sending Claire to this camp! Send Jack so he can meet the twin sister he never knew he had.’” Cas said.  "You are so infuriating, you know that right?”

"I'm infuriating?” Dean asked, looking highly offended. “What about the time you recorded over my Star Trek episode with a documentary on the life of Tomas Jefferson?"

"You have the whole series on DVD! Why did you need to record it off the SyFy channel?"

"You know why! It was the Trouble With Tribbles episode and that was on the DVD that Sam scratched when I let him borrow it!" Dean shot back. 

"Well, you set fire to the patio furniture! Don't even say you didn't because Eileen told me it was you and Sam the next morning." Cas said.

"You scratched the Impala!"

"That wasn't me, it was Gabriel. I lied and said it was me because he was already on his last warning from when he spilt red wine on the couch." 

"Yeah well, you did break my Captain Kirk mug." 

"No Dean, the asinine way you stacked kitchen items broke your Captain Kirk mug." 

"Yeah well, you...you…" Dean said and something inside Cas just broke. This man, this irritating and stubborn man had been the love of his life, his husband and the man he wanted to spend this rest of his life with. Twelve years hadn’t changed a damn thing. 

"Oh for god sake Dean, shut up." Cas said and even though he knew this was the worst plan in the world, even worse than his non-identical twins switching places, Cas pulled Dean in close, their lips crashing against one another. Oh god, it was like going home after a long trip. Cas knew this, knew it better than breathing. Cas still loved Dean more than anyone else in the history of the universe. 

"Cas this is the dumbest-" Dean tried to say between kisses. Frantic kisses that set Cas’ skin ablaze.

"Just shut up and take off your pants." Cas said before his brain could come up with a million reasons why this was a stupid idea. 

“What?”

“Dean, shut up and take off your pants.” Cas said before crashing their lips together again in a kiss that was more like a battle for dominance than anything else. 

“I can’t take off my pants if you keep kissing me.” Dean said as he pulled away and Cas just groaned because this man drove him so insane but all Cas wanted to do was kiss every inch of his body. "This is the worst idea ever."

"Worse than when you let Jo pierce your lip?" Cas asked. He could still the slight scar on Dean’s bottom lip. 

"That was not as bad as the time you wanted to make your own honey." 

"One bee flew in the house Dean, one."

"Bees don't belong in a house Cas, they belong in a beehive."

"Are you really trying to start an argument when we're about to have sex?" Cas asked. Thankfully Dean shook his head. "Good, now take off your clothes and get on the bed."

-

With The Avengers to mask the sound, Claire and Jack sat in Jack’s room as they called their Uncle Sam. After a few rings, he accepted the video call. Grinning at the pair of them with a warm smile.

"Hey kids...man it's weird seeing you two together. How's it going?" Sam asked. 

"Awesome. We made chilli and got them to sit in the same room." Claire said. 

Well, that's something Eileen signed. So what's the plan? 

Plan?

Yeah, the plan. You two are definitely up to something because Claire's involved. 

Why do you always think I'm up to something? Claire asked. 

Intuition

"Past experience." Sam intoned. "Where’re your dads now?”

“Guest room we think, we heard shouting in there about ten minutes ago.”Jack said. “Something about tribbles.”

“Is he still on about that?” Sam groaned. Just out of view on the screen, Eileen signed something to Sam. He groaned and signed back. 

“Hey! Winchester family rule, no covert signing.” Claire said. Sam looked back at her with a classic Uncle Sam Bitchy Face. “What did you say?”

“Ugh.” Sam said. “Fine, your aunt said that if they’re fighting there’s good chance they’ll end up having sex.”

“Ew! Gross!” Jack and Claire said at the same time. “Those are our dads.” Claire said, wrinkling her nose. 

“Yeah? And how do you think you two were made?”

“With a turkey baster and a very patient surrogate.” Claire shot back. “Wait...if they do...you know...do gross stuff, does that mean they’ll get back together?”

Going from past experience, no. They’ll just fight and make noises that, according to your uncle, only dogs can hear.

“That’s really gross Aunt Eileen.” Jack said. “As far as a plan goes, we don’t really have one. Come on, we’re twelve. We need help and Uncle Gabriel has gone home.”

“Good, his plan would have been awful.” Sam said. “Look kids, I know damn well that Dean still loves Cas and judging from what you’ve told us, Cas probably still loves Dean. Just let them fight it out, turn whatever movie you’re watching way up and see how things are in the morning. I know these two idiots pretty well, you can’t force them into anything.”

“We can’t play the long game here Uncle Sam. Dad’s making us leave in the morning.”

“After waffles.”

“Yeah, after waffles I’ll be shoved in the car and grounded until graduate.” Claire said. The four of them sat in silence for a moment before Eileen’s face lit up. 

Ok I have a plan but if it backfires then you do not get it from me. Claire, do you remember how to disable the battery on the Impala? 

“Yeah, I remember...oh...no car means not having to leave.” Claire said with a grin. “Aunt Eileen, you are a genius and never let anyone tell you otherwise.”

“I want no part in this part of the plan.” Sam said hastily. 

“Too late Uncle Sam, welcome to Team Parent Trap.” Jack said happily.     

[shhh-no-ones-home]

kick back vinny mauro x reader

+++++++++

the song she sings are original lyrics by me, there will be a screenshot of the whole thing in the comments/reblogs if you would like to see it all. there is no sheet music, i am not a musician, but the lyrics are all my own and subject to copyright (/11/06/20/). thanks for understanding

Song: sorry haha I fell asleep by egg

tag list: @musicsexandpizza69 @thisplace-ishaunted @lifeisabitchandsoareyou @svintsandghosts @alilpunkrock @cynic-spirit @theoneandonlykymberlee +++++++++

I looked down at my phone as it rang for the eighth time today. It was Vinny. Again. Couldn't he take the hint? He thought he wanted me but I knew he didn't. How could he? Clearly he wouldn't let it go though. I rolled my eyes and went to put my phone back down when it dinged. He didn't call this time. It was actually a text.

"I know you're ignoring me but I'm gonna keep trying, i told you how i feel and thats not gonna change. Also a heads up, I'll see you on tour."

My eyes went wide before I immediately called our band manager.

"Just the person I wanted to talk to."

She said fairly chipper.

"Tell me we aren't."

I said sternly.

"What?"

She sounded confused.

"Tell me we aren't touring with motionless."

She laughed a little.

"Why would I tell you that? Of course you guys are. isnt it exciting?"

My mouth dropped.

"Why?!"

"Um, because it's good publicity? their manager called me yesterday and asked if you wanted to collab on something too so i hope youve been writing. but back to tour. They are doing a short spring tour, just a few weeks. i figured you were the best breakout band on my label."

She seemed very happy. I sighed into the receiver.

"Dawn their drummer has been calling and texting me for two weeks straight."

She paused.

"Okay?"

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"He has been trying to get me to go out with him for two weeks straight."

"Oh!"

She said.

"Then what's the problem?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Ya know what, actually there's no problem. this is a great opportunity for our career. When are we starting?"

"Great! I have to call the rest of the girls but you start February third."

I nodded.

"Okay. Two months away. I can put this off till then."

I said more to myself.

"Well dear I've got to go, I'll talk to you when the posters come out."

°°°°°°°°°

i sat on the ground outside the bus and strummed my guitar lightly. id been in contact with all the girls from our band and all the motionless guys for our new song together since i got the call from dawn two months ago but things werent coming out as good as wed hoped. so here i was still working on it, by myself. the thing is though the song was supposed to be out by the end of tour and yet here we all were, one week in and still nothing. i couldnt even focus on the task at hand. i had to much other shit running through my mind.

"that sounds pretty."

i heard from behind me and stiffened my body.

"thanks, ive been trying to find new chords for the song."

i said as vinny came into view.

"well i think it sounds great, when i read through the lyrics you had so far i wasnt really sure how heavy it would end up being but i kinda like that."

he said, moving to sit in front of me. i nodded.

"it will be heavier but my brain wont let me right now."

i said, dropping my hands to my lap. he nodded back.

"well what you have so far sounds beautiful anyways."

i stared at the ground, tapping my fingers lightly against the guitar.

"actually vin, this isnt for the collab. its actually for you and the only reason i cant finish the other song is because im lost."

he raised a brow.

"its for me?"

i sighed.

"i dont exactly know how to talk to you anymore so i figured a song would be easier but its really not."

i said through a nervous laugh.

"ive been meaning to talk to you about that actually."

i shook my head.

"you dont have-"

"no, i do."

he said, sending me a look.

"i shouldve taken the hint in December but i thought that if i persisted then maybe youd see how much i meant what i said. but i guess somewhere along the line i got annoying. hell i know, i did, i was annoying myself. then when you started texting me back, even though it was just about the new song, i was excited. it meant i could still talk to you even if it was just business."

"vin i-"

"please, just listen for a second."

i cleared my throat and nodded.

"okay, lay it on me."

he took a deep breath.

"i want you to know that i did mean what i said, i do really like you and i want to try something, a relationship, casual dates, hell even just hanging out. maybe you dont want more, and thats fine. but i still want you in my life and i want you to know that i do care about you. even if you have been ignoring me on purpose."

i frowned.

"vin i dont know how to do this."

i said, motioning between us.

"all my past relationships have crashed and burned and i dont know how to move on form that. i dont want to have to change who i am again."

he shook his head.

"you dont- you would never have to do that. i like you the way you are, and i want to prove that to you."

i sent him a look.

"no, you like who ive created for you. thats not me. im not carefree and easy going, and agreeable. im pig headed and strongly opinionated and i have a loud mouth."

i said with a laugh. he smiled back at me which i wasnt quite expecting.

"i dont care about all that. i care about you, whether you think youve created someone for me or not. give me stubborn. give me opinionated and loud. hell even give me furious at times. i know thats the real you and yet im still trying. cant you see that?"

i bit the inside of my cheek and thought for a second. then i looked down started strumming again lightly.

"im sorry for making things harder, i never meant to make it this far."

i began singing lightly.

"you dont deserve this mess of a person, i just keep making things hard."

i looked to him and he was staring at me intently.

"we've made it this far, i cant believe youre still around. i thank the heavens cause if not id be six feet down"

i closed my eyes, swaying back and forth as i played.

"Im sorry for making things harder, you dealt with this before. If i make it up to you somehow, we wont have to waste our time no more."

i said softly, over the guitar before stopping and looking at him.

"its not quite done yet."

i said a little shy. he sent me a small smile.

"i love you."

he said and my face went straight. i watched as he scooted his way closer to my side.

"ill always be here for you, no matter how we move forward."

i looked to my lap for a second before looking back to him. he was staring at me longingly.

"i think i love you too vin."

i said, barely above a whisper. he looked between my eyes before his hand moved to graze my cheek. i couldnt help moving into him. before i knew what was happening i was kissing him lightly, his hand going to the back of my head to hold me to him. when he pulled away he had a huge smile on his face.

"the song sounds great by the way."

i laughed a little at that, feeling a blush creep its way to my face as he pressed his forehead to mine.

"our little atypical love song."

[managedmischiefs]

north//chapter one

here she is!! after the long wait, here is the first chapter of north! I hope you all like it. let me know what you think. more chapters to come soon🖤

also i dont have a tag list for this but if anyone wanted to be tagged in this fic then let me know and I’ll create a tag list

genre: fluff

pairing: spencer reid x female oc

warnings: very basic troupe that I’m sure some people are tired of lol but other than that, none!

word count: 3k

SPENCER

Being late to work is not something that I tend to enjoy. I hate it, in fact. I feel like I'm letting my team down if I'm ever late to round table meetings or if I miss a briefing. But these days, sleep is rare. And if I do sleep, it's not uncommon for me to sleep over the array of alarms I have.

Coffee is a must have for me at all points of the day. No sleep means exhaustion and exhaustion means my brain doesn't work as quickly as it could and that means we don't solve cases and not solving cases means more people die. I can't have more people die on my watch so I drink as much coffee as I can. But the coffee in the bullpen isn't always the best so if I ever have time, I stop at a cafe on my way to work. I take the extra five minutes to walk there before hopping on the metro.

I mumble off my coffee order to the tired looking barista and she scribbles down my name. I hand over a few stray bills to pay and get some change in return, tucking it in my pants pocket. I give a tight lipped smile to the barista before moving to a table in the corner of the cafe, pulling a book out of my messenger bag and starting to read, crossing one of my legs over the other. I don't look up while I wait for the barista to call out my name, not even when two people bump into each other in front of the door or a tourist asks someone else for directions. I just read my book and chew my lip, tapping my fingers against the hardcover.

"Spencer," I hear my name being called and finally allow myself attention to be lifted.

I stand quickly, tucking my book in my bag and closing the flap before heading back to the main counter. But the buckle of my bag gets caught on the button of my sleeve when I try to close my bag all the way. I pull at my sleeve, trying to get the buckle unlooped. But in this tussle with myself, I don't even realize that I'm still walking until I bump right into someone. I move my attention from my bag and catch the person's shoulders so I don't completely knock them over and make not only a fool of myself, but of them too. 

"Oh my gosh," I say immediately, my eyes widening, "I'm so sorry,"

"It's okay, it's okay," the girl laughs, her hands squeezing my arms as she regains her balance, “didn’t even fall. You caught me. I didn’t even break a sweat!”

My eyes finally find the girl's face and I'm rendered absolutely speechless. I somehow notice everything about her right away and I memorize her beauty. Her eyes are a bright, beautiful shade of ocean blue and her eyelashes cast shadows over her perfectly pink cheeks. Her hair is wavy and blonde with brown roots, but there's a yellow and blue patterned scarf tied around the front of her head like a folded bandana with pieces pulled out to frame her face. Her nose is small and I can only liken it to a button. Her lips are full and plump and a pretty light pink color and her Cupid's Bow is one that Cupid himself should be jealous of. Both of her ears are full of different types of piercings, and her nose even has a hoop in her right nostril.

She's wearing a light blue knit sweater tucked into a tight denim skirt, along with a pair of short black boots with small heels on them. Her nails are painted white and her fingers are full of rings, each of them different styles and various shades of silver with yellow gems. I notice a tattoo on one of her fingers but she moves and I can't make out what it is. I wonder if she has more tattoos. I find two straps around her shoulders and realize she's wearing a leather backpack, one probably very similar to my own bag. The last thing I notice is the old fashioned camera hanging around her neck, resting just above the waistband of her skirt.

I've seen my fair share of pretty girls. I've seen girls that I wouldn't mind getting to know better. I've met girls that have caught my attention. I've even been in what I believed to be love. But what is this? If I thought I'd seen a beautiful girl before, I clearly hadn't met this girl before. She looks like an angel sent directly from heaven. She looks like she was crafted by God himself and put on this earth to grace mankind with her beauty. Is it fair for one woman to be this beautiful? Is it even possible? I didn’t think that one woman could possess such beauty. 

What the hell is wrong with me? I can barely even breathe. I’m just staring at this gorgeous specimen, admiring her smile and trying to memorize the way her fingertips feel on my forearms. I quickly try to think of something to say, another apology for running into her, but I can barely even breathe when I stare at her, much less speak. 

"Spencer," the barista calls out my name again, setting my cup down on the counter before walking away. Saved by the barista. 

The girl smiles at me and her face lights up, only further illuminating her features. She's got two dimples on her cheeks, bringing out a childlike spirit in her that I pick up right away. "Um," she says with a laugh, "is that yours? You should probably grab it before someone else steals it,"

Okay, Spencer, breathe. You can do this. You’ve spoken to pretty girls before. Sure, it’s hard and it’s scary, but you can do it. Just say words. Preferably, coherent words. Preferably, maybe, a full sentence.

"Right," I finally force out, dropping my hands from her arms. I hadn't realized until now that I was still holding onto her and she was still holding onto me. I reach over and grab my steaming coffee, almost wincing at the heat under my fingertips.

The girl still hasn't moved when I turn back to her, but now she's fiddling with her camera. "Are you," I start to say before hesitating. Her head pops up and she smiles again, letting her camera fall against her stomach. I gulp, shuffling my feet against the floor as I attempt to speak a full sentence. "I didn't mean to bump into you like that,"

"Oh, it's totally fine," she waves her hand at me casually. "I wasn't paying attention either. No harm, no foul. Like I said, I didn’t even break a sweat,” The girl pushes her hair behind her ears and places her hands on her hips. With the confident way she speaks, I almost expect her to keep speaking, but she doesn’t. She just looks at me with the cutest smile, even baring her teeth, waiting for me to say something else. 

So I clutch my cup of coffee and swallow thickly. “I-" I hesitate yet again, but when the girl's eyes scream for me to continue, I do. "What's your name?"

She opens her mouth to speak but before she can, another cup of coffee is placed on the counter. "Amelia," the barista announces before walking away.

Amelia laughs, taking a step over to grab her cup, which I immediately notice is tea and not coffee. "Took the words right out of my mouth,"

"Amelia," I repeat as if testing the way the word rolls off my tongue. It tastes sweet. "You heard already, but, um, I'm Spencer,"

"It's nice to meet you," Amelia holds her hand to shake mine, and the panic starts to set in. For a moment, I debate on actually just shaking her hand so I don’t seem like a total freak to this girl that I seem to have a massive crush on. But the prospect of shaking a total strangers hand is repulsive and when I find myself looking at her hand for more than two seconds, I’m starting to count up the amount of germs that would be present there and I have to force myself not to make a face.

So of course, while my hands get clammy and my heart rate speeds up, I do what I do best. I spit out a fact that Amelia didn't ask for. "On average we carry 3,200 bacteria from 150 different species on our hands,"

Amelia's fingers curl into her palm and she retracts her hand, looking down at her palm and smiling just a tiny bit. "You know, I don't blame you for not wanting to shake hands. It is kinda gross anyway,"

"Sorry," I blurt out immediately, still shuffling on my feet. "That was rude of me,"

"It's not rude," Amelia counters, sipping her tea without so much as grimacing at the inevitable heat. "Are you in a rush?" I glance down at my watch and see that I still have ten minutes until I should be getting on the train. I relay this information to her and watch as she smiles again. "Would you like to sit with me then?"

"Oh," my eyes widen slightly and I squeeze my coffee cup so hard that I think I might poke holes in the sides, "y-yeah, sure,"

"Cool," she breathes out, waving me on and leading me to a booth on the other side of the cafe. I'm far too anxious with this situation and by Amelia's beauty and her comfortability around me to even think about relaxing, or drinking my coffee, or taking my bag off from around my shoulder. I definitely can’t remember any of Morgan’s advice on how to chat up girls or any of the conversation starters I’ve memorized for social situations like this. My mind is completely empty, just when I need it to be full and plentiful. How lovely.

Amelia sits across from me and grins, and every time she does, I swear my heart skips a beat and another butterfly breaks through its cocoon in my stomach. "So where are you off to this morning, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Work," I answer, and then realize that's an incredibly vague answer. Amelia raises her eyebrows as she lounges back against the booth, clearly waiting for me to elaborate. "Uh, I work for the FBI, actually. More specifically, the BAU- the Behavioral Analysis Unit,"

"You're a profiler!" Amelia perks up again, sitting up straighter with a huge grin on her face. "That's super cool! My dad is a police officer, sheriff actually, back home in Texas and I'm pretty sure he's worked with the BAU before and he says you guys are awesome. You catch serial killers, right?"

I'm almost stunned by her reaction. Most people don't believe behavioral profiling works, and most people resist the practice, especially local police. But her acceptance of it is incredibly refreshing, and it's welcomed. Honestly, any type of excitement from this Amelia girl is welcomed. It’s a beautiful sight. 

I can feel my cheeks turn bright red as I nod, still clutching my coffee cup. "Yeah, we do. And um, what about you?" I hate talking about myself so I change the subject. "Where are you off to?"

"I'm actually meeting a friend of mine to go shopping a few blocks over," Amelia gestures out the window. "But since we're talking about your job, I'll tell you about my way less cool job, which is an artist. I went to Carnegie Mellon and then moved here and I’ve been here ever since. My preference is canvas painting but I bring my camera around a lot, hence," she holds up the camera around her neck, "the camera now. I try to capture spontaneous moments for when I do exhibits and galleries and such,”

"I've always loved art. Never been talented at it, but I like it." I shrug nonchalantly and sip my coffee, trying to divert my eyeline down to the table, but when Amelia smiles at me, I can’t find it in me to break our eye contact.

Something about Amelia's smile brings me in. Every time she flashes her teeth, I feel myself sink further into my seat and I feel my head get fuzzier. I almost forget that I have to get to work in just a few minutes. But I don't want to go anymore. I want to stay here and keep talking to Amelia. I want her to keep going on and on about canvas paintings and her education at Carnegie Mellon, or even just tell me why she likes tea over coffee, if that’s even true. I don’t know anything about this girl but I want to.

"Nobody is technically good at art," Amelia responds. "Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses in the arts, everyone sees art differently, and that's okay. I'm sure you're not horrible, I'm sure you just haven't found your strength yet, Spencer," She enunciates my name with such beauty and grace that I almost ask her to say it again. I'd do anything to hear her say my name again.

"If-" I'm cut off when my phone rings in my pocket, so I lean over and fish it out. I read a text from Garcia that tells me we have a case, meaning we'll be briefing for a new case this morning. I sigh defeatedly, wishing I hadn't just gotten a text that usually piques my interest. Today, it makes my heart drop. 

"You have to get to work?" I look back up at work to see yet another smile on Amelia's perfect face. "Go ahead, it's okay," I’m so used to seeing disappointed faces when this text comes in, not a smiling face. It’s odd, somewhat confusing.

I grab my coffee cup and stand as Amelia does the same. She holds her cup to her chest, looking down at her feet. "Will," I chew on the inside of my cheek when she looks up at me, ocean eyes wide with anticipation as I struggle with my words for the umpteenth time, "can I see you again? We barely got to talk and you-"

"Yeah," Amelia nods before I can even finish my sentence. "Can I give you my number?"

I have to hold myself back from jumping up and down in excitement. "Y-Yeah, sure, of course," I pull my phone out yet again as she does the same. She tells me her phone number slowly so I can get it down, but of course, it sticks in my brain immediately.

"Just text me," Amelia murmurs, looking over my shoulder at my phone where my shaky thumbs press against the buttons on my phone to type out- hi, it's Spencer. She waits until her phone rings and then she smiles at me. "Great, I've got it. Now, um, go. Don't let me be the reason you're late in helping people. You don't have to text me if you don't want to," she pauses for a moment, and I wonder what she's waiting for. Is she waiting for me to confirm or deny that statement? Is she waiting for anything at all? Is it an open-ended statement? Where have all my profiling skills gone? Forget profiling- where is my common sense? "But if you do wanna text me," I'm thankful when she starts talking again, "don't until after you've solved your case. Don't worry about me until you've saved lives. But like I said, if you don't wanna text me, you don't have to,"

My phone buzzes again and I can only imagine it's someone from the team asking me where I am, hurrying me along so we can get started on our briefing. I ignore it for now. "Well," I have to clear my throat to be able to speak again. I give Amelia a bashful smile holding up my phone for her to see, "I'll text you when I'm back home,"

Amelia blushes, her bottom lip being pulled between her teeth. She breathes out a tiny laugh, nodding. "I look forward to it, Spencer,"

I take a step towards the door and feel my body grow cold at the distance starting to increase between us. "I'll talk to you soon, Amelia,"

And with that, before I have it in me to take one more look at the angel standing in the corner cafe, I hurry out the front door. There's a dumb smile on my face as I rush down the stairs to the train platform, struggling to swipe my card and respond to Penelope's text at the same time, all while running to catch the train at the platform. I'm somehow successful at all of this and only manage to breathe once I'm inside the stuffy car. Amelia's face is stuck inside my head and I can't get it out, and I'm positive that I never want to.

///

"Reid? Reid!" My head pops up as Morgan forcefully says my name, catching my attention and bringing me out of my daydream.

When I look up at him, he's already staring up at me with his eyebrows raised, clearly expecting an answer out of me about something. I have no idea what that something is, but he’s wanting an answer about it. I clear my throat, placing my cup of terrible police station coffee on the table and running a hand over my face. "Sorry," I apologize half heartedly, "I was thinking,"

Morgan sits across from me at the table and folds his hands. "Case related?" I glance up at him before deciding to completely ignore him, standing and walking up to the board, returning to examining the geographical profile. "Reid, come on, we've been on the case three days. You've been distracted ever since you walked in for the briefing. You can talk to me," I keep ignoring him. I stare at the map in front of me. "Is something going on? Is it your mom?"

"My mom is fine," I spin around and cross my arms over my chest, ignoring the way my heart starts to speed up when Amelia’s face resurfaces in my brain. “Can we just solve this case so we can go home?”

[teashadephoenix]

Okay so I tried to finish this yesterday before I crashed for a nap, but I am old and weak so here it is.

Lucifer Season 5A overall thoughts!

.

SPOILERS!

.

-i called it. I knew if they opened with Mr Said Out Bitch it was gonna be bc he was dead-- had to be, bc Lucifer was in Hell. Didnt like being right. Thanks for heaping a bunch of character development on a great bit of comic relief just so he can be dead.

-not enough Trixie. What the fuck. Is this a Chandler Riggs situation? Can Scarlett not act or something? Give her stuff to do please.

-EIGHT EPISODES AND NO SINGING LUCIFER???? GODDAMN BLASPHEMY

-i get why people are frustrated with how Maze is written bc it seems like she never does anything but go back and forth but I mean... that's just the writing across the board for this series. Lucifer, Chloe, and Dan have all flipflopped as the seasons progress-- character growth is handled the way real people are, with relapses in bad behavior and having to reiterate lessons more than once. Unusual for television writing, which usually addresses an idea once and then fucks off it forever.

-That said, I enjoyed Maze's arc of dealing with abandonment and seeking a soul. It made sense and was in character-- Lesley played Maze like she felt utterly lost, near madness from frustration, seeking comfort the way she best knows (sex and violence) from the people she loves and not knowing what to do when it wasn't working. I hate that she's so easily manipulated but I feel like it really is bc she wants to feel normal so badly and doesnt realise that normal is relative.

-tangentially, Lilith did not play as big a part as I expected and i was sort of disappointed.

-I wonder if the ring will now be used to pass lilith's immortality to someone who needs it?

-Tom Ellis' performance as Michael was v good as I previously said, but the entire concept of him was nothing inspired. I really had high hopes for him bc I love twins and especially twins who are like the bane of each other's existence but ffs they didn't do anything with it! So he's the polar opposite of his brother, so what! He's a wicked little American hunchback who lies and schemes and plays on people's fears... why? To what end? His plan kept changing and his entire motivation seems to be "bc I'm a dick." Boring. And he dresses like a twat.

-Lucifer was not stuck in Hell for remotely a long enough time. I am an angstwhore and I wanted pining. The same fucking thing happened when they made Dean a demon on SPN-- oh no we've had a decent idea and gotten our hero up the tree, now let's do absolutely nothing with it and get him back down aqap! Fuck off. They gave us this difficult, interesting situation to work with (how can Lucifer have a relationship if he has to run Hell) and then the moment he came up for the tiniest amount of time, Hell apparently no longer needs a warden! Srsly? When only two months ago, all hell was breaking loose???? Fuck your fucking convenient handwave.

-also I am sad they dropped the hinted mental/emotional toll on Lucifer for having to return to Hell Granted the article is a year old, likely discussing ideas that were in the infancy, but I was looking forward to seeing the "alcoholic running a liquor store." Obviously once they decided they were doing Michael-playing-Lucifer and summarily realised nobody would believe Lucifer changed that much, it was easier to just come straight out and say "yea thats not him, thats the evil twin."

-Amenadiel is lovely as ever. Charming, funny, the perfect mix of earnest and awkward. DB Woodside nails him and I love him. I love his friendships with Dan and Maze, the big brother instinct he gets with Luci and Chloe. He's a big black dude whose primary role is caretaker and I am here for it.

-Nice to see happy funny Dan back after taking a bereavement sabbatical in s4. I like Kevin Alejandro's performance a lot and so I dont like when Dan's being a dickhead bc it makes me wanna smack him. Loved him reading Diablo scenes w Luci-- reminded me of s2 when they were dorking out about the Weaponizer movies. And the cemetery scene, wow. Dan realising Heaven and Hell are real and that he is in danger of damnation and how bad that scares him-- ow my heart. That having been said...

-I didnt really like characters having these massive bombshells dropped on them just bc Michael is a douche-- that's so lazy. It felt like the writers ticking off checkboxes. Okay so he tells Chloe she's a miracle. That's fine I guess-- there are stakes there. We know it's going to rock her world bc we know how much it damaged Lucifer when he found out. But then he orchestrates Dan finding out and apart from the shock factor... who cares? It matters after, but not before. There was no set-up for that punchline. We knew when Linda pushed Lucifer to "drop the metaphor" that it was going to be a biblical shock for her. We knew what a relief it was going to be for Charlotte, who thought she was losing her mind, to learn that Hell was real and she could change her fate. We knew it was a gamechanger when Chloe found out. And that's why Dan gets the fuck over it super fast, bc it doesn't matter. It was just a box to be checked. Boo.

-it was nice getting to see Tricia Helfer bc I adore that woman but i really do hope that we get to see Charlotte properly again. Take me to the silver city already i am sick of not knowing what it looks like.

-i love Linda to bits. She's funny, she's heartwarming, she's the owner of the single braincell and she and Ella occasionally share it while they watch the others try to bite their own elbows.

6/10

s4 > s2 > s5A = s1 = s3

[angstymdzsthoughts]

1/ >mpreg< wrh won the sunshot campaign, but both his sons still die, so he wants to be repaid. he demands a chosen bride from each sect for his harem and so nhs, jgy, lxc, and even jyl (who is married and left jl as an orphan bc jzx died during the war) and wwx.. he especially wants wwx and so he keeps him separate from the rest, seals his power and brainwashed him, turning him into a pliant bedwarmer whose only job is to provide wrh with more children.

2/ >mpreg< wrh made sure to control his new harem with a tight leash, going so far as to damage their golden cores to weaken them. lwj is going mad bc not only his brother but also his beloved wei ying were taken away to serve wrh. he tried to reach out to other sects, asking them to cooperate to take their hostages back but none of the sects were brave or strong enough to go against wrh, especially after the devastating war.

3/ >mpreg< after thirteen years of gathering intel and strength as well as countless failed infiltration missions, lwj has had enough of it and decided to sneak into nightless city himself. he managed to find his brother and nhs but there were no signs of the others. it broke his heart to see the swollen stomach of his brother as he told him that none of them had seen wwx since he was first taken in. wwx is wrh's favorite, birthing the most children for him out of all of them.

4/ >mpreg< nightless city was crawling with children who look like wrh. lwj told lxc that he's making a plan to help all of them escape. lxc was scared for his children, but didn't object. wrh found out abt lwj sneaking into his castle, but kept hush abt it bc he wants lwj to suffer more. he threatened lxc to act like he was going along with the plan and telling wrh everything or he's going to kill their youngest toddler. he could just put a new one in him, anyway.

5/ >mpreg< lxc just prayed lwj would have enough time to escape when their escape plan fail later. after about a week of hiding in nightless city, lwj stumbled upon a restricted area. he managed to sneak in and he was horrified to find wwx inside, heavily pregnant, but without an ounce of discontent on his face, in fact he looked overjoyed. the man was calmly combing his hair while humming to himself. lwj was so shocked he accidentally made a noise that alerted wei ying of his presence.

6/ >mpreg< "who's there?" wwx immediately grabbed a hairpin for self defense but relaxed when his eyes found it was just lwj. "oh hi lan zhan" he was smiling but it was so unsettling. "why do you hv to sneak in like a mouse? my a-yuan can do better than that when he was five" lwj couldnt move, couldnt say anything. "lan zhan? what's wrong? we haven't met for many years and the first thing you do is sneak into my room and frown at me?"

7/ >mpreg< "wei ying. have to get you out of here" lwj finally uttered. "what? why?" lwj couldnt believe his ears. "why would i want to leave master ruohan and our children?" lwj wished he could just die on the spot. "but- he forced you and the others-" "forced? what are you talking about?" lwj saw wwx was getting agitated and it unnerved him to no end. "if youre coming here just to disturb me then just go!" wwx's voice was getting louder and lwj has no choice but to leave before he was found

8/ >mpreg< a couple weeks later, lwj finally managed to get the last of his plans taken care of. he made a huge distraction that allowed wrh's harem to flee to their designated meeting spot (they came right back in after but lwj never knew that). they could bring the smaller children with their mothers but they would have to leave the older children behind since wrh had had his influence on them already. the only one left was wei ying. he had to get wei ying back no matter what.

9/ >mpreg< lwj didnt care if he would only be able to take wei ying or if wei ying was going to hate him. he couldnt let wei ying go again. he inched closer to wwx's living quarters and he barely got a greeting in before the maidservants announced wrh's arrival. wwx immediately told lwj to hide in his room. wrh came in and wwx all but jumped into his arms. lwj could see everything. he could see wrh kissing he face he dreamt of kissing for so many years, touching the body he dreamt of touching for so many years.

10/ >mpreg< lwj ended up hiding for a good portion of the whole day, trying to close his ears as he heard sounds he once dreamt wei ying would let out only for him. swallowing his own tears as wwx begs wrh to ravish him. wrh didnt leave until wwx woke up from his nap. when he deemed it safe enough, lwj sneaks back out, still wrecking his brain trying to think of ways to convince wwx to leave with him. "wei ying, come back to gusu with me, please" wwx pouts, shaking his head. "im not going anywhere, get lost!" "wei ying please" lwj tried approaching wwx, but he just kept backing away. "get lost!"

11/ >mpreg< lwj kept pushing, maybe if he could just <i>touch</i> wei ying, he could identify and undo whatever spell wrh did on wei ying. wwx kept backing away, replying to all of lwj's pleas with 'get lost'. he wasnt going to let this man who he hadnt seen for so long take everything away from him. soon, there was no more space for wwx to retreat to, trapped between lwj's approaching form and his vanity table. he grabbed a hairpin and swung, slashing lwj's perfect face. blood dripped on the floor, but lwj couldnt care less, not when wei ying is inches away from him. he <i>had</i> to have wei ying back.

12/ >mpreg< lwj was prepared to just hit wwx's pressure points to render him unconscious and carry him outside, his pregnancy be damned, but before he could, wei ying was already screaming. "a-yuan!" it took mere seconds before the door slammed open, revealing a teenager with a sword in his hand. he had wei ying's eyes. he could recognize that shade of silver anywhere, but the glint of malice there was unmistakably wen ruohan's. the teenager charged at lwj, who was caught off guard and it took no time before lwj was subdued and bleeding, kneeling by wwx's bed with the teenager's foot keeping him still. "scum! you dare try to harm my mother?!"

13/ >mpreg< "would never try to harm wei ying.. only want wei ying back" lwj croaks. "preposterous!" wei ying's son (a-yuan, lwj's mind provided) barked. "who do you think you are, to boldly lay claim on my mother? you deserve death for this!" lwj didnt respond. he was focused on wwx sitting in front of him, caressing his baby bump lovingly, creating an image of heavenly bliss, but everything in lwj screamed that it was <i>wrong- wrong, wrong, wei ying is</i> "lan zhan" lwj's world stopped.

14/ >mpreg< wwx looked at lwj in the eyes. his eyes look sad. disappointed. <i>at wangji</i> "why do you keep antagonizing me? back then you kept telling me that i was wrong, kept telling me how i was supposed to be. i know you didnt like me before and i left you alone. now youre here pestering me, as if i have no mind of my own to think and feel. and you ask me to leave with you?never," wwx's eyes hardened with grievance. "i suggest you leave immediately and maybe you'll get to keep your life" lwj's eyes widen. <i>wei ying misunderstood, must tell him- </i> "no, wei ying, youre under a spell. wei ying would never-" lwj wheezed as a sharp kick hit his back. "shut up!" wen yuan growled, "if i hear you speak rubbish one more time i would-" "a-yuan" wwx interrupted. "wen yuan, my beloved firstborn, it's okay. mother's got this," he gave his son an assuring look. then he shifted his gaze back to lwj. "lan zhan, im not under any spell. i really do belong here. you can check" wwx held out one hand for lwj to touch. lwj desperately took the hand. he wanted to relish in the softness of skin at first, the warmth he longed for, but quickly decided something was more important. he checked wwx's meridians, his qi pathways. lwj paled. he could feel nothing.

15/ >mpreg< "why" all the breath left lwj. "wei ying, he- he made you birth so many children, kept you locked here-" wwx's brows arched. "i love my children. i have always wanted a house full of children. master ruohan gave me what i wanted. i bear children for him because i love him" if this was heaven then lwj would rather go to hell.angstymdzsthoughtsOofWas that the last part?reblog-monsterno hold oni have like 1 or 2 moreangstymdzsthoughtsOk

16/ >mpreg< <i>wei ying, his wei ying, his heart, his soulmate, loves-?</i> "i love master ruohan, the father of my children. if he wants me to stay, i will stay. if he wants me to go, i will go. but you, you dont get a say" lwj heaved as wwx pulled his hand back, his heart too heavy and his head too painful. "ah, my bad" wwx gave lwj a side eye. "you know to much now" lwj swore he could saw wwx smirk at wen yuan but nothing mattered anymore. lwj gasped when a sword pierced his chest but it was a welcome pain to numb his aching soul. "just so you know," wwx's eyes glinted with glee as he bends down in a mock attempt to whisper into lwj's ear. "i love being pregnant. i beg master ruohan to breed me again even a few weeks after giving birth. im never going to stop, i cant stop," he giggled and lwj was somehow relieved that wwx's laughter was the last thing he heard before everything dissolved into nothing.

[ending notes] back in gusu, just as everyone was busy with the absence of their sect leader, only a letter came a few days later with a familiar red seal and a bloody headband. someone tried to violate a member of wen ruohan's harem and the perpetrator has been dealt with accordingly. their sect leader never returned.

[drkcnry67]

title:  Please Don’t Make Me Do This

kink square filled: Knife Play

dark square filled: Knife Play

Heaven & Hell square filled: Demon!Dean

ship: Demon!Dean x reader

rating: 14+

tags: major character death, forced knife play, 

summery (if applicable): its a surprise….

word count (if applicable):

created for @spnkinkbingo @spndarkbingo @heavenandhellbingo 

also this is for a request brought in by @hawaiianohana15 

A/N: please dont shoot me, but cas doesnt actually stay in heaven for what goes down in this story. im sorry for what im gonna put everyone through. i know for me ive put off writing about this particular thing cause it still gives me nightmares. 

tag: @sweetness47 @alexis-m-kruger​

this was possibly the hardest event of your entire life, the hardest day of your life. the day you witnessed the love of your life get murdered on the eve after your engagement. 

you hadnt the heart to send every single person you had invited a letter saying the wedding was cancelled, hell you didnt have the heart o do anything except sit in your old room and listen to all of Dean’s favorites on repeat. 

after about 4 hours Sam had gotten very very concerned, so he made you some coffee and made you up a plate of food and brought it into your room. the sight he saw when he walked inside was something that made him place the food and drink on your dresser and come engulf you in a huge hug. 

course Dean and Sam wanted to take down Metatron, but of course that didnt go as well as expected for it was then that Metatron stabbed Dean. long story short told to you personally through Sam’s sobs… 

Dean had gotten hold of the first blade again after being bruised and beaten badly in a mortal kombat fight type deal with Metatron.

Metatron stabbing Dean through the heart with an angel blade just as Sam came round the corner and Dean of course turned around. 

Sam helped Dean off the ground and tried to make it out of the warehouse but Dean coughed, said he was proud of them and then breathed his last.

Sam had called out for Cas in a loud scream of pain. about 5 minutes later Cas appeared and became terribly horrified at the sight before him. 

Cas: “what happened?”

Sam: “Metatron killed him, we have to get home.. back to the bunker, to YN she needs to know but no one else can… can you get us and the impala back in one shot or is it needed in 2 trips…”

Cas: “it can be done in 1 shot but how will you tell YN… wont she be crushed?”

that was when Cas realized that Sam was gonna tell you after they got back to the bunker… sam was gonna tell you what happened, tell you that Dean died like  hero… that he went down fighting and that his last thoughts werent of her but he knew he loved you.

Cas: “look Sam i know that YN and Dean were a thing but there is something i have to tell you… about their relationship… but she doesnt know, neither of them did… you can’t tell her…”

Sam now intrigued finds the strength to look away from his brothers corpse. Cas took a deep breath watching as Sam now sat looking at him.

Sam: “cant tell her what?”

Cas: “she and Dean fullfilled the prophecy that Heaven spoke over them, they conceived a child a week before the death of a winchester at the hands of Metatron.”

Sam: “YN’s pregnant?”

Cas: “yes, but there is nothing else that can be done here, lets take this show back to the bunker and see if there is anything that can be done about Dean… ill take us all straight to his room, then ill stay here while you go talk to YN before she finds out on her own about Dean…”

Cas teleports Dean and Sam plus himself back to Deans room in the bunker. you were in the library researching a way to get rid of Metatron that would actually be most effective. you didnt hear the boys talking in Deans room. however you only had this feeling like something wasn’t right. 

it stayed with you heavily as you sat there pouring through the books and every page seemed to make time go by alot slower than it actually was… it wasnt until you flipped the page again that you heard your name being called. this made your head snap up…

you went around the corner and Saw Sam walking towards you… 

Sam: “hey squirt!”

You looked around and didnt see Dean, didnt see your man. you turned your gaze back to Sam who walked closer to you…

YN: “where’s Dean?”

Sam: “YN he was hurt badly… there was an accident, it was a bad one… before i let you see him you need to know he might not come back from this one alive… or if alive he wont be himself… the first blade really did a number on him. but his last concious thoughts were of you… YN he wasnt breathing when Cas got to us… Cas is with him now trying to figure this out, but so far no luck…”

YN: “i have to see his body…”

Sam stepped immediately in front of you stopping your entry to the hallway.

YN: “get out of my way Sam… i have to see his body…”

Sam: “no cause if you go in there your not gonna be able to unsee that…”

YN: “there has to be something we can do…”

Sam: “we will find a way but for now lets leave him alone…”

you went back too the library and cracked a bottle of whiskey… Sam stood around the corner for a few minutes and watched you slowly crumble apart… 

Sam went back to talk to Cas…

Cas: “ive healed his major wounds and slowed the death process… how did she take it…”

Sam: “she has started to drink the whiskey… i dont think she will come back from this…”

Cas: “well lets go make sure she isnt gonna do something stupid…”

Sam & Cas take one more glance at Dean’s body before heading out to the library to find you on the phone just kinda out of their hearing patterns.. it was only but a while later that Crowley texted you that he was outside the bunker…

you went to the door and let him inside… you walked down the stairs with Crowley at your tail… both Sam and Cas stood taking defensive position…

Sam: “Squirt what is he doing here?”

You finished walking down the stairs before you answered…

YN: “he is here to help me save Dean… he says he can save him… ergo that is whats going to happen…”

Cas: “dont do this, we cant trust him…”

Crowley: “look ok i have a soft spot for YN and Dean they have become my new favorite couple… but when word got out downstairs about Metatron having killed Dean. i knew it would be only a matter of time before i got a call from YN, but i also knew i might or might not be able to help.. YN show me where the body is… then ill need a while alone with it… for the way this should go may or may not come with alot of side effects…”

you led Crowley to Dean’s room, opening the door this was your first glance at Deans body… this was the only time other than not but 6 years before when you had lost Dean… to your dismay this time looked much much worse.

YN: “crowley do what you have to… just make sure he comes back to me in one piece…”

Crowley: “ill do my best and let me be the first to say congratulatons!”

you left the room wondering what the hell he meant, but still made your way back to the library… you sat on the couch and waited, waited patiently…

—————————

Crowley stands beside Dean placing the first blade in Dean’s right hand and placing both on his chest. 

Crowley: “listen to me Dean Winchester, what you’re feeling right now, it’s not death. It’s life, a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And by the way your going to be a father, now lets go take a howl at the moon.”

—————————-

something stirred, you felt it, you felt the house shake, the entire bunker shook with a violent power… it wasnt but a few moments later that the power went out in the entire bunker… no sound could be heard but something inside you stirred, something felt new, arisen if you would… 

YN: “Sam, Cas are you guys okay?”

Sam and Cas are at your sides immediately! 

Cas: “i dont know but i cant leave my power isnt working…”

Sam: “YN you looked a little stunned a few moments ago… what did you feel?”

You didnt know how to answer that, it was a very strange feeling but being bonded with Dean made things easier. during hunts and stake outs… but now it felt like something went horribly wrong… crowley did however say that there may be side effects… 

YN: “i think whatever Crowley did worked but i dont feel normal Dean i feel a much darker force… if that is why the power went out then we need to lock this place down… now and we need to prepare for the worst… lock it down nothing gets in and nothing gets out…”

you, Sam and Cas all armed yourselves, going down the halls till the tri-fork in the hall… each of you took a hall… Cas came across nothing he stayed near the armory for a few minutes to make sure Dean wouldnt be able to easily access it if he came that way… Sam made it down his hall way to the garage, but obviously with the security locked down and the power outage the garage wouldnt be a good escape route… 

you went down the bedroom hallway, the emergency red lights going down the hallway made it to your room, checked it once and cleared it of being offended… then sam’s room along with Cas’ room…. 

the room at the end of the hall, the one room where you didnt think anything was wrong… the one room where the closer you got the more anger and pain you felt… before you could fully encrouch on the room, the door flung off its hinges… you ducked into the darkened bathroom… 

Demon!Dean: “Sammy, YN, Castiel! where is everyone to greet the brother who has come back from the dead? YN baby come give daddy a kiss…”

Dean now walking towards the bathroom slowly, now sniffs the air… he suddenly becomes ravenous for the being who holds the smell of pumpkin pie. the closer he got to the bathroom, the stronger the smell got. 

Demon!Dean: “come on out Baby.. i dont want to hurt you, but i will if i have to… come on out baby… dont you want to celebrate with me about our child… oh yes i know all about that… you can thank Crowley for that… now im gonna count to 3 if you dont show yourself by the time i get to 3, im gonna hurt you baby, i dont want to but i will…1…”

you didnt know what to do, so you stood there behind the door and didnt realize that you were starting to sweat badly your gun was slipping… before you could even react your gun fell to the ground…

Demon!Dean: “ah so you want to have a bit of bathroom fun hmm… well daddy brought a fun little tool… now lets play…”

with that Demon!Dean stalked into the bathroom forcefully pulling the door shut as he now stood there with you in the creepy red lighting, he stood there with his pocket knife. 

YN: “please dont do this, you dont want to hurt me i know you dont… for the sake of our child… please… i didnt know about my being pregnant D… im just finding out about this… look ok it tore me up to see your body like that, so i called Crowley… i knew when the power went out that you had come back… but i didnt expec…”

before you could say another word, his hand covered your mouth… he gently yet firmly ran the knife over your skin, he pressed down in certain tender spots, like your forearms, your thighs, your chest, as well as your cheeks. before stopping at your neck to lean in to sniff your aroma.. 

Demon!Dean: “you know babe, i never pictured myself as a father… i just realized i never told you what i did in Hell the first time i died… i tortured people, i tortured souls… these people didnt deserve it, but i didnt care, i liked it… now i think i’ll torture you similar to them…”

at that moment with lightning speed he ran the knife through all your clothes till you were standing in your Bra and panties. this made you shiver since it wasnt the man you fell in love with standing before you doing this to you. 

at that moment you felt the knife he was holding go into your skin on your thigh, you buckled at the pain, yet Demon!Dean just laughed with amusement. he ran his hands over your body, feeling you tense and un-tense beneath his touch. 

Demon!Dean: “i still have enough sense to know not to fuck a pregnant woman… but that doesnt mean i cant make you bleed…”

before he could finish cutting you in a few more places, the sound of your name came ringing through the halls. 

Sam: “cas do you see that?”

Cas looks straight ahead at the door on the floor…

Cas: “does that mean he is back?”

Sam: “yes but he doesnt have the strength normally to kick in these door which are reinforced with iron… he would have to…”

thats when it hit Sam like a sack of bricks… the shocked look on his face now said everything he connected the dots and soon realized that whereever Dean was you would be too…

Sam: “Dean or whatever you call yourself.. show yourself now…”

then he turned to Cas and in a low whisper adressed him.

Sam: “ok Cas go down the hall and hide around the corner as soon as he shows himself ill keep his gaze fixed on me, use your teleportation to get directly behind him… go…”

Cas ran to where Sam said but heard the same not so distant voice Sam soon did…

Demon!Dean: “ill be out in a second brother, im just taking a leak… then ill come out and talk…”

Demon!Dean finished making you bleed some more watching your body slide down the wall, weak from blood loss as he opened the bathroom door and exited…

Demon!Dean: “hey Sammy… come give your big brother a hug…”

Sam started to slowly back up seeing the blood covering Dean’s hands and clothes… 

Sam: “where’s YN?”

Demon!Dean: “i wouldnt know your the first one ive seen…”

Sam: “then whose blood are you covered in?”

Demon!Dean: “i found a family of rats and slaughtered them… why do you look so scared bro?”

Sam: “thats not rats blood is it?”

Demon!Dean could only bring off a dark smile… as he followed Sam down the hall and away from the bathroom… Cas took his opportunity to come out from around the corner and go towards the bathroom… where he found you… he took off his trench coat and laid it over you…

Cas: “what did he do to you?”

YN: “he called it knifeplay… i have no idea why he did this but he needs something… he needs a good angelic exorcism…”

Cas: “what do you have in mind?”

you explained to Cas that first you needed to get into some clean clothes of some kind and clean up some of this blood… Cas went to your room and grabbed one of your satin gowns… 

Cas came back seeing you limping… he helped steady you while you got dressed… then he took your arm with his hand… he smiled lightly and dove deep into steadying you before helping you into the direction that he watched Demon!Dean & Sam go in… 

he made sure you were alright before he took off to get into his position… slowly but steadily you made your way down the hall… to the sound of running footsteps and the sound of something breaking…

Demon!Dean: “Sam come on lets not play these games… why do you hide from your older brother…”

you steadied yourself and held the colt up high…

YN: “Demonic force that resides within Dean Winchester… i address the entity within thee… please dont make me do this…”

Demon!Dean turns to face you slowly after stopping in his tracks…

Demon!Dean: “YN baby i see you have managed to get up off the floor and clean yourself up… darling you really should be more careful with that, since when did i give you permission to touch that gun…”

YN: “you didnt i took it from your hiding place when i got up off the floor… you need to make sure that you pick better hiding spots…”

Demon!Dean: “and you need to make sure not to snoop…”

YN: “dont make me do this…”

you stayed tall and strong keeping the Colt trained on Dean…

Demon!Dean: “now now babe put the gun down… put it down or take your shot…”

you started to slowly put the gun down but then he charged towards you, Cas came out behind Dean and wrapped his arms around him from behind… 

you took your shot, you shot Dean while he was in the arms of Cas, you watched between Cas’ angelic grace and the bullet from the colt the demonic energy that was within Dean now blinked away… now within the eyes of the man before you, blinked between the demonic force within and the Dean you fell in love with.

Cas: “ready YN im gonna keep holding onto him while you enact the final part of your plan… anytime now…”

that was your cue, you tossed the colt in the air running towards the man who stole your heart a thousand times over… you kissed him, he didnt react right away it was about 5 minutes into the kiss that he started to kiss you back…

thats when Cas let go, it made you feel normal to be back in Dean’s embrace… once the kiss broke you took him over to the security station you had set up and showed him all of what happened… 

Dean: “i know that i wasn’t myself but i hurt you, i hurt the one person who means the world to me… i’m so sorry YN… you don’t deserve a guy like me… i’m a worthless piece of shit… to top it all off, we are expecting a baby… we are expecting i don’t know if i’m ready to be a father…”

YN: “i know your gonna do wonderful as a father, and i also know that when i saw you basically dead, it tore me apart, i dipped so far into the whiskey that i almost blacked out, if the power hadnt gone out, i wouldn’t be awake right now…”

Cas and Sam come back into the room making sure that it was safe first… then Sam took it upon himself to hand Dean his jacket, to which made you look with confusion but you didnt make anything of it.

Sam: “good luck buddy…”

you grab 3 glasses & the whiskey, while the charade continues… but wasnt expecting what happened next…

Dean: “dont touch your glass of whiskey yet…. YN there is something i wish to discuss with you first…”

You stared at Dean curiousity swimming in your mind… Dean took a small swig of his whiskey before he continued to speak…

Dean: “YN in all my years together never have i ever been so amazed by anyone. you’re strong, brave, talented, one of the best with a machete ive ever seen, i never would have seen myself being with someone who is as lovely and smart as you… YN i know we have just been through hell and back and both need a really good shower, but will you do me the incredible honor of marrying me and making me the luckiest man alive…”

YN: “yes yes yes…”

thats when Dean opened the ring box out of his jacket and slid the expensive but not expensive ring on your finger… the toasting lasted for 30 minutes before the cuts on your body cloted, and the blood on Dean crusted, but it was about time when you spoke again…

YN: “Dean no offense but you need a shower…”

Dean: “funny darling i could say the exact same thing about you….”

[legion1993]

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Cry, Just Know That I Love You!

title: Do Not Stand At My Grave And Cry, Just Know That I Love You!

kink- grinding

Dark- Murder

Heaven & Hell- Silver/Salt/holy Water

Pairing: Jensen x Reader/Dick Grayson x Reader/ back to Jensen(R** H***) x Reader

rating: 14+

word count (if Applicable): 25,167

tags:  MURDER, MAIN CHARACTER DEATH, RESURRECTION, LEAGUE OF SHADOWS, TATTOOS, MENTIONS OF GRINDING IN A JACUZZI, MAKE OUT SESSIONS, LAZARUS PIT

created for  @spndarkbingo @spnkinkbingo @heavenandhellbingo

~in training we find our strengths, weaknesses and let our minds wander. In times of solace we learn what it means to be human.~

 Your name is YN. your street name is Batwoman. Your city is Gotham. Your mentor is the very thing criminals in your city fear, Batman. His sidekick was Robin, but Batman had another sidekick through the years that became your best friend and overall badass patrol partner, Batgirl. 

The robin that was there when you joined up decided a new persona of his own, Nightwing. The Robin who stepped into the light was named Jensen and he would soon become the love of your life. 

2 years later after many nights of crime fighting, going on dates, making out, etc. you and Jensen were out on a nice walk through the Gotham central park, the sun was setting and it was your night.

~in ourselves is an alternate persona, one that comes out with our actions or emotions. In times of anger we find that persona is present more than normal.~

Tonight was the eve of the first snowfall, this happened every year but it was a special night for you and Jensen this was the night 2 years to the day that you guys became an official item. Bruce & Barb had taken the patrol for the evening, you and Jensen went for a stroll. 

Jensen: “YN, lets never stop doing this!”

YN: “what, walking through the cold on the eve of the first snow? Or kicking ass as crime fighters?”

Jensen Laughed holding you closer to keep you warm.

Jensen: “both. Being with you has really opened my eyes to the beauty around me & taught me to believe in all i can be with or without the mask. Thank you for being my everything. Come lets take a seat…”

Jensen brought you to a bench over looking the fountain which was just starting to glow. You take a seat by the fountains glow as Jensen gets down on one knee.

Jensen: “YN, my love, my life, my crime fighting partner dont ever underestimate how deeply i love you. But it is time to take the next step in our relationship… YN, will you do the incredible honor of marrying me?”

Jensen watched your eyes go wide at the sight of a 14k white gold petite twist diamond ring.

YN: “yes… Jensen Yes!”

You both got up and were about to share a passionate kiss but immediately felt a strange presence. You were being watched. 

This was Gotham city after all, the wackos only came out at night and crime was apart of the normality. 

Jensen: “you have made me the happiest man on earth.”

You both  now standing still ready for anything still happy, still enjoying the moment decided to move more into the light away from the fountain. You now did what you knew would be right.

YN (over coms): “batgirl, where are you guys right now?”

Barbara (over coms): “near Wayne Tower. Are you guys alright?”

YN (over coms): “we are being hunted…”

Bruce (over coms): “dont do anything stupid make your way to the edge of the park we will be there in 5.”

The coms cut. You and Jensen linked hands and minded your surroundings as you made your way towards the edge of the park. But at that moment coming from near the water, you guys were unaware of the danger that would soon befall you that night.

~for it is in the darkest of times when we realize that the way we live our lives now, is not how we should live them. Sometimes its better to give into the darkness than to just let it simmer on the surface.~

About halfway from the entrance you guys noticed a shadow lurking behind you. You & Jensen were testing out the new weapons bracelets that Wayne Tech was developing with your help. 

Jensen: “this night wouldnt be complete without someone or something trying to kill us…”

YN: “its totally fine at least it didnt happen during the proposal… now lets kick some ass.”

Jensen: “dont worry love, soon Bruce & Barb will be here and we will all be home before sunrise for some much needed S & R! How do…”

Thats when the same laugh that struck nerves within you so many times before, the same laugh that sent your mind into a nervous frenzy every single damn time. You guys were now interrupted indefinitely & un-be-knownst to both of you this would be the last time both of you would see eachother.

Joker: “look at this Batwoman & Robin now engaged how sweet. Taste my new Joker knockout gas…”

He shot the gas your way but both of you were up in the tree near by before it could even be near you. You threw down a smoke pellet and both of you made a run for the gate but it was too late. You were gassed but you stayed awake long enough to watch Jensen being dragged away. 

YN (before passing out): “Jensen…”

You lost consciousness about 5 seconds not even later.

~your best friend is someone you can always count on, someone who will always be there for you, but if you have more than one best friend there is a chance that one of them could be your soulmate in more ways than one.~

Barb & Bruce arrive on scene they enter the park, its not a ¼ way inside the park Barb was the one to notice you laying on the ground.

Barb: “Batman over here…”

Within seconds they were at your side… 

Bruce: “she is under the influence of Jokers knockout gas we have to get her back to the cave before she wakes up and freaks. Joker must have Jensen, we cannot make a scene. We have to get her out of here.”

Bruce used his remote to call the batmobile closer, he then pick you up and had Barb sit in the front seat before he placed you gently on her lap crossing your form cross both his and Barbs laps. He then sped off towards the cave, upon arrival and parking the batmobile he got out going round to the other side taking you out of Barb’s lap he made sure to bring you to the observation table.

Both Dick and Alfred hooked up IV and started checking your vitals, bandaging any wounds. But it was Barb who noticed the way Dick was staring at you. 

Barb and Bruce went to de-suit while Dick just sat by your side…

Dick: “dont worry YN we will find him, we will bring him home to you. I promise…”

Barb and Bruce came out of the de-suiting chamber, Dick was now making sure you were comfortable and finishing patching up one of your wounds. 

Bruce: “how is she?”

Dick: “she is cold, her body has gone into some sort of shocked state. She is also a bit dehydrated, she needs to gain rest and relaxation. We need to find Joker asap! He needs to pay for what he has done.”

For as much as Bruce agreed with Dick’s statement, he knew that there was a very very high chance that as soon as you woke up you would be going after Joker yourself. 

Barb: “uh guys we may want to rethink any hope of keeping YN out of the hunt for Joker!”

She ran her finger over the ring on your left hand this drew the looks of Bruce and Dick from Barb to the ring on your left hand. 

Bruce: “oh my word.”

Dick: “what do you know Jensen did it!”

Barb: “wait a minute wait wait you all knew about this? Why did i not know?”

Bruce: “cause Jensen wanted it to be a surprise. He came to me about a month ago asking for some money so he could quote get YN the best christmas present ever! I did give him what he asked for at the feeling of what he was gonna do but i know that she is gonna try to leave the cave when she wakes we cannot let her do that. Not after what she has just been through.”

No one was surprised by this but they all went to do their own thing, Bruce started scanning the city for Joker so he would be able to tell you that he was already on it. 

Dick was punching a bag, he was angry and upset he was not sure what would happen. 

Barb however had not left your side, she knew you would need her there when and if you woke soon. 

It was a few moments later that you woke up, you sat straight up screaming, Barbara pulled you into her embrace, this made you calm down alot. barb sat there holding you close for a while before you were only sobbing softly into her shirt.

Barb: “shhh girl hey its okay, take some deep breaths. You can speak when your ready we are not gonna push you to tell us anything right now.”

You laxed more into Barbs embrace you had flashbacks of the events that unfolded just a few hours before.

YN: “Jensen proposed. Joker knocked me out and then his goons dragged Jensen off. That clown is gonna die painfully for taking my fiance. I have to go and sweep the city, i have to find them, i have to save Jensen.”

You attempt to get up to leave but are immediately stopped by hands holding you in place. 

Bruce: “let me deal with that clown. He isn’t going to do anything to Jensen. He isn’t gonna have the chance to do anything else to anyone ever again. I’ll personally see to it that you are the one who gets to play executioner for that clown.”

Now being stuck still in Barb’s arms, you were fine, but being told that you weren’t going on this mission to find your fiance’s kidnapper was at the top of the list of things you were not okay with.

YN: “Bruce i dont just wanna sit here and do nothing. You cant bar me from going on mission. Leave me alone bruce, if i cant go on the mission then Barb take me to the penthouse. I refuse to stay here. Dick please do what you can to keep me informed on the progress.”

Barb helped you off the table, leading you guys to the elevator reaching the top you both exit at your own pace. 

Alfred: “what can i help you ladies with?”

Barb: “can you go to our rooms and grab our backpacks. Please then pull the car around. We aren’t staying here tonight.”

Alfred: “did something happen…”

Barb and you just turned away from the elevator walking towards the entry way.

Barb: “ask Bruce.”

Alfred stayed where he was he figured that if you and Barb had come up that Bruce and Dick might follow. Sure enough a few moments later the elevator opened again to reveal Dick and Bruce coming out of the elevator. Thats when Alfred went to go quickly grab yours and Barbs Backpacks.

Bruce: “girls wait, YN your an essential part of this team. Joker took Jensen to get back at me. To take revenge against batman. I swear i’ll get him back whatever it takes. You have my word.”

Dick chimed in also…

Dick: “dont worry YN we will get him back, nothing is gonna stop us from doing that.”

Barbara: “dont do anything we wouldnt do. Just be careful. Alfred we are ready to go when you are.”

You and Barb waited a few more moments before alfred came fully into view again. He was holding both of your packs as he ushered both of you to the car. Upon exiting the manor the cool night air hit you like nothing. 

All you felt emotionaly was nothing, your emotions were not cooerating. Your physical form was still shaken from the events of earlier. But was comforted by the gentle touch of your best friend you felt that she cared for your wellbeing. 

Barb: “dont worry girl, Jensen is tough he wont let Joker break him not knowing that he has you waiting for him.”

YN: “what if they cant find him in time?”

Barb turned to stand in front of you… 

Barb: “we cant afford to think like that. We have to stay strong. Hey i know we should’ve been celebrating your engagement already but we can still do that. Alfred Gotham Royal hotel please.”

Your mind only worked as well can could be expected after the nights traumatic events. Upon reaching the car Alfred held the door open as you slid in beside barb. Alfred handing you both your backpacks. 

He then went to start the car and begin the drive. He turned back to slightly look at you and Barb, your blank expression staring out the window, your thoughts swimming, your fear swirling, your tear ducts ready to spill, your body quivering. 

Apart from the fact that you were traumatized to every single extent, your only comfort was in the fact that Barb’s hand hadn’t left yours. You turned your attention to her and immediately was overwhelmed by the feeling of her overwhelming care for your wellbeing. 

Barb: “hey are you okay?”

You shook your head, your tear ducts now flowing freely, the street light reflecting the tears in your eyes. Barb only saw the sorrow in your eyes. You scooted closer to Barb and leaned your head on her shoulder. Your head nestled into the crook of her neck, your feeling of sorrow desimated a bit. 

You began feeling a bit better, a bit better than you had for hours. Within a few moments later of that you guys felt the car stop. 

Alfred: “alright ladies before we get out of the car will you be needing a ride home tonight.?”

Barb: “not tonight, possibly not for a while Alfred. But we will keep you informed.”

Alfred: “Lady YN may i ask how you are doing?”

YN: “im worried Alfred, i havent been away from Jensen this long before. Alfred, i have a bad feeling about this.”

Alfred: “not to worry, I’m sure once Master Bruce and Master Dick have found even the slightest trace of Joker they will do the right thing and inform you both immediately.”

You both watched as Alfred got out of the car and come round to the door on the passenger side and opened it letting both you and Barb out. Carrying your backpacks you both strolled away from the car. 

YN: “thanks Alfred.”

With a smile Alfred gets back in the car and drives away. You both walked into the hotel and were stopped by a concierge.

Concierge: “can i help you ladies?”

YN: “we are the ladies of the owner of this hotel. Call him and ask but we are headed to the penthouse.”

The concierge immediately had his head in a bowing kind of embarrassed look.

Concierge: “i’m so sorry ladies, Mister Wayne didnt inform me that people would be coming.”

Barb: “its quite alright now can you send up some of your finest jello shots, 2x 2L of pepsi and a platter of pigs in a blanket, as well as a bottle of tequila and a few fluffy housecoats with some nice blue shades of nail polish. Please.”

Concierge: “of course miss, i’ll send your order in straight away. If you ladies need anything else please do not hesitate to ask.”

Barb nodded her head in gratitude as you both walked away towards the elevator, the entire way up your head was on Barb’s shoulder, coming out of the elevator you both made you way to the couch where you set your bags down.

Barb’s eyes never left your form as you proceeded to strip off your shirt and walk out onto the balcony, she didnt question it either for she knew you were still shaken over the events of the evening. 

YN (in a whisper carried off by the wind): “Jay i hope your okay.”

---------------------

Meanwhile Joker was hiding in what he percieved to be plainish sight, he had taken up hiding in an abandoned warehouse just on the outskirts of Diamond District Gotham. 

Joker: “okay pumpkin lets clear something up…” 

He said smiling darkly as he approached Jensen with a crowbar.

Joker: “whats wrong.?. nothing to say?.?”

Jensen immediately spat in Jokers face before speaking once more.

Jensen: “do your worst clown, but when they find me and yes they will find me, you are gonna wish you were dead… the pain and torture you put me through tonight is nothing compared to what ive endured in the past.”

Joker: “i see i’m gonna have to teach you some manners. Now tell me what hurts more when i hit you with this crowbar.” 

Jensen’s only thoughts were of you, were of what he assumed may be your last moments together. He was okay dying if it meant he would not have anything to regret. Joker began to hit Jensen with the crowbar swinging it left, right, up, down, there was blood and pain to be seen and felt. 

----------------

This went on for several days.  Bruce & Dick finally one night got an annonymous tip from the league of shadows that Joker was spotted around the warehouses on the out skirts of Diamond District. 

Bruce was on the road and out the door faster than Dick who decided to patch through coms to both you and barb so you both could be filled in. but one other person showed up in the hotel room but a few moments before. 

--------------------

That went something like this:

Talia: “YN, Barbara…”

Barb was the only one to get off of the couch at that moment, you stayed where you were. You had nothing going for you. You and Barb had just been sitting there relaxing. You hadnt even thought about anything else not even the incident in the past few days. 

Barbara: “what do you want Talia?”

Talia: “take it down a notch Barbara, im here as a personal favor to YN. i heard what happened im just making sure she is okay.”

Barbara looked from you to Talia and back to you.

Barbara: “am i missing something? Besides Bruce how do you guys know eachother?”

You were the one to answer that question… 

YN: "I met Talia years ago in Europe. She is the one that helped me recover after my first run in with Joker. That's why I went to Europe was to get out of the city for a while. I couldn't bring myself to do anything in Gotham so I ended up going on a European tour of my ancestral grounds. I also went to Romania and toured transylvania. Draculas castle was certainly one of the most beautiful places I had seen on my European experience. Though they said that the site where Dracula had supposedly been buried was reported to no longer be in transylvania. But somewhere unknown. Whoever were to find it would be named the soul owner of his castle. For me that was a quest of a lifetime but before I could make it too far back through the French Swiss side I was on the border of Nanda Parbat when Talia and her guard found me they stopped me at the border..."

Talia cleared her throat and proceeded to speak from where you left off.

Talia: “when i found her entering Nanda Parbat i brought her to my garrison on the eastern side of the Leagues base. When i knew it was time and i had gotten some information out of her i brought her to stand before my father. This was before he betrayed me… this was before Nyssa my sister filled his head with lies, blaming me for a betrayal against the demons head that she orchestrated in her own right. She knows im seen as fathers strongest warrior, she wants to rule the league after my father decides he wants to surrender the throne. But enough of that i heard about the engagement YN congratulations.”

The engagement, the ring that was on your finger, the ring that meant so much to you in those first few moments of having it on, that day still silent in the back of you mind. That day that you dreaded so much was the day that your happiness seemed to have been taken away from you.

YN: “thank you for the congratulations but i dont feel much like celebrating…”

Talia: “i know thats the other reason why im here, by now my guard would have tipped off the Bat. you need to know that he will probably already be on his way to the location. My guard has spotted the clown with your robin. You need not give up just yet, you would be surprised at how fast the detective can move when the ones he cares deeply about are in peril.!.”

YN: “i just hope Jensen is okay… please tell me your guard found out how he is?”

Talia: “he is hurt very badly. The clown has not been kind on him. My guard heard screams however small yet muffled they were.”

Barb was skeptical but yet was very concerned for her best friend as it turned out had not been as honest about everything concerning her trip as she had thought…

Barb: “so why come to us directly… what do you want out of this?”

Talia: “ive spent a better part over the last few years silently training with YN without the knowledge of the dark knight. YN i know that you upset, i know your not in a good place right now but i want you to know how deeply proud of you i am for how  well you have done by handling yourself with these recent events. If things go badly ill take you away on a elite guard retreat, where i will help you grieve in every way possible. Now kneel with me “Siru Alnnari” till we recieve news of how Jensen is recovered.”

You got off the couch and knelt in the shorts and sports bra you had on beneath the house coat. This made you more aware of your surroundings than you had been prior to Talia’s arrival as you honed your senses further. Barb now was texting with Dick. she was updating him on you and how your healing process was going.

----------------------------

Dick decided then to call Barb… he knew she would not mind hearing from him. Their conversation went something like this:

Dick: “hey Barb, look i know we didnt leave off on the best terms. But i want you to know i wasnt choosing sides it was cause of my genuine care for you and YN that i do  wanna say that the mansion is not the same without you beautiful ladies! Speaking of YN how is she?”

Barb had to breathe for a moment before giving her answer.

Barb: “not good, Dick did you know that YN has been secretly training with Talia?”

Dick had to step out of the room, he had been sitting in the cave with Bruce, Dick had to leave the area before giving his answer so Bruce would not find out.

Dick: “yes i know about that. I promised to keep it from everyone especially Bruce.”

Barb: “Talia & Yn are meditating, i havent seen YN relax a lick since that dreaded day a week ago. But now she is in some sort of relaxation state. Dick i am worried about her, she also hasnt eaten very much since being here.”

Dick had to breathe now having heard that now having heard how you were, what you were doing. He now thought about his time with the league, when he had been there with Bruce, how he had become apart of the league through that, through being Bruce’s ward. 

Dick: “i guess if anyone else should know about this its you but YN isnt the only one whose been training secretly with Talia… Bruce had his training years before i came into his life, i went with him once to do some more training and so he could retake his league oath. When they met me they made me one of them too. Talia has been training with me as much as she has YN. but hey dont worry so much about this, YN is a tough one she will be fine. But how bout you, how are you doing with all this?”

Barb had to answer very very carefully she felt herself beginning to break. She knew what would happen if she said too much of what her brain was trying to comprehend.

Barb: “honestly i am about as alright as can be with everything thats going on. Hows Bruce doing with his retrieval?”

Dick: “he is just coming up to the location… stand by for further updates. And Barb we both are really sorry for how we acted…”

-----------------------------------------

Barb could only smile on her end of the conversation as she now through the rest of the conversation that she and Dick were having, was hearing the league chanting that you and Talia were giving off. She felt a wave of peace wash over her as if she were being drawn into your state of mind. 

Over the next little while Barb watched as you and Talia continued to meditate… Dick was communicating with Bruce about his skulking around, scoping out the warehouse. But then thats when the conversation that would soon end your hopes of getting to formally announce your engagement to Jensen… 

---------------------------------

Bruce: “Dick patch me through to the girls they will want to listen as i go in for extraction.”

Dick: “i dont know if thats a good idea, when i spoke to Barb she said that YN has barely eaten and if this doesnt end well, she thinks YN might not come back to the mansion for a while. You know as well as i that worry is part of this line of work. I know we have been a family since we all joined up with you and none of us regret doing that. We regret nothing, but YN is the glue that keeps our broken family together and i dont think we want to loose that…. So be gentle when you speak… she is still a little frazzled according to Barb.”

Bruce: “dont worry about me i can handle anything that those 2 can throw at me…”

Bruce waited patiently on his perch to be connected to Barb.. 

Barb: “Bruce…”

Bruce: “i wanted to let you know that no one blames you for what has happened. I want you to know that i am doing everything in my ability to bring Jensen Home but I wanted someone over there to be able to know how the progress is going… "

Barb: "Bruce we shouldn't have left how we did… It was wrong of us to leave in the first place.. But I wouldn't have let her leave on her own. I had to go with her… No matter how things go I'm sure we will all have a normal ish Christmas at the manor. Like we do every year."

Bruce had gone silent, for now he was placing a sound device good for listening closer to enclosed buildings on the path hidden but still close enough to hear what was going on inside. 

-------------------------

Meanwhile this is what he heard… 

Along with more blood curling screams, he heard the following being spoken.. 

Joker: "okay Daddy’s gotta go, be a good boy, do all your homework, dont stay up late and hey please tell the big man i say Hello!”

Joker walked out of the door laughing his way down the path. Jensen wiggled himself upright making it to the locked door, but the pain was too much his ribs were beyond broken. Thats when Jensen looked to the left of the door and saw the beginning of a line of bombs. The place was rigged to explode.

He sent his last thoughts out to you, not wondering if you would ever marry anyone else, not more wondering if he would ever live long enough to marry you himself, his last muffled words were, “I Love You, YN.”

The building exploded 5 seconds later, Batman was caught in a cloud of dust & debris. Batman a while later crawled out of the debris & went onto coms…

~when we think we are immune to the bad and the ugly, that's when they usually find us… Trouble waits till we are vulnerable before it strikes. In any situation we don't want to panic for that won't help anyone.~

Barb: “Bruce i heard an explosion what happened?”

Bruce had to compose himself before answering… 

Bruce: "Barb, I'm sorry that explosion was the building that Jensen was in… He didn't make it… I just found his… What the hell… Patch me through to Talia her father's up to no good again." 

Barb did her thing and patched Bruce through to Talia, who was not surprised to hear from Bruce. 

--------—------------------

Talia: "detective." 

Bruce: "Talia what would your father want with Jensen's body?" 

Talias sudden gasp, brought you out of stasis.. 

Talia: "my father wants to use the Lazarus pit to bring him back…. Get close to the guards if possible and let me talk to them…" 

Bruce goes up to the guards, he rerouted his come to his gauntlet to allow communication between Talia and the guards. 

Talia: "this is Talia daughter of the demons head which guards are you?" 

One of the guards now spoke… 

Guard: "Carter and guards 456 and 747… we are here behalf of your father mi'lady… He wants the body of this young man…" 

Talia: “why does he want the body of this particular young man?”

Carter: “cause.. He wants to use the pits to bring him back to train a male assassin whose been trained by the dark knight…”

This made Bruce’s rage level amidst his grief steam up inside him… he then had an anger burst that made you jump through hearing it on Talia’s end…

Bruce: “NO NO ABSOLUTELY NOT, JENSEN PROPOSED TO ONE OF MY OTHER WARDS, I HAVE TO ALLOW FOR A PROPER FUNERAL A PROPER SAYING GOOD BYE. I CANT BEGIN TO IMAGINE…”

Talia: “Batman… enough she can hear us… she can hear this conversation.. Please calm down detective…”

Bruce was shocked… for he had not seen you or barb since you both left the mansion… now he feared what this news, this bomb that he had just dropped on you… thats when he stepped back from the guards.

Bruce: “thank you talia… is there anything else you would like to say to these guards.”

Talia breathed as her eyes flitted quickly to your every wavering form, now breaking into a thousand pieces.

Talia: “Carter you and the other guards shall not take the body of this man till after the funeral and the proper goodbye for we shall not deprive a fellow league member the chance to say good bye to the love of her life. Now leave the body alone and return to whereever you are staying till you guys get the body… now we need to have the detective do his thing… alerting the police dept annonymously and do what he needs to… ill contact you guys when you can come and do what you will to swap the body with an identical look alike...”

Carter: “yes Mi’lady… detective dont forget to do what you have to very quickly… for us to be able to appease the anger from the demons head… you know how bad his rage can get…”

---------------------

As fast as the guards had appeared they were gone. Now as far as you were concerned the worst had happened… you were now going into a catatonic state… luckily for you, your savior was now appearing on the balcony in the form of Nightwing.

Barb let him in and you broke… you were now fully broken.. Now Talia was off the coms with Bruce.. Bruce had called an annonymous tip to GCPD about the explosion and Jensen’s body.  There was a moment of brief relief that fell upon you when Dick pulled back from you and handed you a letter written in Jensen’s hand writing with your name on the envelope.

Dick: “i was to give this to you if ever upon this situation… by that of jensen’s death… YN you dont have to read it now but you can read it when your ready…”

Barb: “girl we are all here for you… to support you.. This is a difficult time and right now you need all the support you can get…”

Talia: “if sometime in the near future you feel like you cant feel anything anymore than you need league help… the detective knows those signs… as should you Dick...you were the one that wanted to train with me as much as you felt necessary… besides when you got your name from my father it was a proud moment in the detectives eyes i didnt know how close the wards of Bruce Wayne actually were… Bruce i’m sure didnt want this to happen any more than the rest of us… he is just as devistated about loosing Jensen as we are…”

~it is our friends and the ones that feel like family that help us through the toughest of times, our hearts are fragile but if it breaks someone close to you will help pick up all the pieces… it might be the one person in your life who comes along to pick up the broken pieces the one to pick up the pieces will be the one person whose been there when you havent realized how they truly felt.~

Talia had gone out of the room into the other room with Barb.. this left you alone in the embrace of Dick… you were not sure how to express how you were feeling… Dick wasnt pressuring you to speak, he knew what you were going through he had just lost a friend… you lost a fiance… Dick didnt know what Jensen had put in the envelope but he knew what Jensen had asked hi when he was doing his will...

Talia: “as for YN with some training & definate familiarity if my father brought Jensen Back he could be the same Jensen eventually. But chances are he will want revenge for all that’s happened by the clown’s hand… now onto more pressing issues, Lady YN needs to go away from Gotham immediately following the funeral or else the trauma could land her a one way express trip to Arkham.”

Barb: “i know and thats what im afraid of… but i dont know what else i can do to help her coop…”

Bruce walked up to them off the balcony at that moment…

Bruce: “well i wanna know why Joker would take Jensen and not YN… it doesnt make any sense…”

Barb could only step back towards the wall and lean against it…

Barb: “Cause Joker knew their identities… there was one night when my dad wanted to hae dinner with me, Jensen and YN went out on patrol.. Bruce you were at an event of some kind and Dick was doing whatever he does when he isnt patrolling or what not… anyway Jensen and YN still went out on patrol knowing that Arkham had a new escapee… Joker got out… Jensen & YN had found a silent spot to make out, they had a small session, after so Jensen & YN were re-adjusting their masks when Joker came out of the shadows and jumped them… Joker told them that one day they would both pay in an unlikely way for all the pain and turmoil he had been put through…  when i heard about the events they went through with Joker finding out who they actually were, i knew he would keep good with his threats… i had Arkham staff made annonymously aware of joker’s “civilian threats”.. Till now i have been unsure if Joker would remember, but he did and now my best friend is paying the price for it…”

Talia placed a caring hand on Barb’s shoulder, then taking it upon herself to remember about her and Bruce… she then turned to Bruce walking out of that room and into another awaiting the word from you on whether or not you were gonna read the letter or whatever was inside the envelope you got from Dick who got it from Jensen.

-----------------------------

~its times like these where people take charge of their lives, under the guidence and support of their friends and family…~

You were laying across Dicks lap, you were still in grieving… when Talia, Barb and Bruce re entered the room you had stopped crying and Dick was petting your hair… you ran your fingers over the envelope…  the lettering, tracing each one with your finger. 

Dick: “i know you are probably not ready for whats in that envelope but you should open it sooner rather than later.”

You nod your head, but feel the warmth coming off of Dick, Barb, Talia, Bruce you felt more at home than you had before…

YN: "I'm sorry for putting you through all this worry… I just wanted this vision of a happy life amidst the long nights of crime fighting to be real… Jensen wanted it to be real… I can't believe joker killed him… if we find joker I'm gonna kill him for this… League rules a life for a life… I can't let this go unpunished… But Talia I don't want to know anything more about what your father's guards want with Jensen's body can you make me forget that forget that I heard that plan… I Can't know about it… I don't want to know about it…"

~sometimes life hands you something that you dont want to know about… so your brain wants to forget it but everytime you try to forget it, it comes back and never leaves… what we try to forget is never really forgotten, its just temporarily misplaced... ~

Talia came up to you and placed her hand on your forehead and basically blurred out that memory… Made every word of the rest of that conversation between Talia and Bruce none exist ant in your mind. Made it so the blur ended when you were caught in Dicks embrace… 

Everyone around you minus Dick and yourself dipped into the whiskey and the scotch… you finally kinda sat up and flipped over the envelope… Dick was still kinda holding onto you for support as everyone else gathered around for what they assumed to be the reading of whatever was inside the envelope… 

Bruce: “look i can’t make it so this didnt happen… YN i know i said i was gonna bring Jensen home but sadly not every hero makes it home… believe me there have been a few times where i was almost one of those… but i hope in due time you can forgive me…”

You got up off the floor within seconds if that of Bruce finishing that sentance, something inside you came out like a crouching tiger, you lunged at Bruce the letter fallen to the floor. Dick Barb and Talia backed up… Dick went into the other room to de suit and get into something a little less nightwing and a little more Dick Grayson… 

You continued to fight with Bruce… your anger in all that meditation had come to the surface… you were attacking the man who had been there for you since you came out of the league and back into Bruce’s life… 

Bruce (out of breath): “YN please stop this you need to fight your emotions… you have to calm down…”

YN: “calm down MY FIANCE IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU…”

Talia at that moment came behind you and flipped you to the ground…

----------------

Talia: “Siru Alnnari listen to me… Its not Bruce’s fault nor your own that Jensen’s dead… its the fault of the clown who calls himself the Clown Prince Of Gotham City… listen to me now Siru Alnnari, you have to settle down… Dick is gonna take you to a different area of the penthouse but you have to read to us the letter first…”

YN: “talia i swear i dont want to hurt you and i believe you but i dont want to open that letter and read it for it will make the reality of the entire situation all too real… Talia im just a big ol chicken… i fear i may ne’r wear the suit again…”

Thats when Talia got off of you, thats when Barb came over to you and helped you off the ground… you then looked at Bruce, whose look was one of sorrow and pain, mostly from realizing that you have a strong right hook.

Bruce: “get into these arms YN, you need to grieve… we can worry bout that letter in a while…”

You went into Bruce’s caring embrace… his embrace tender and loving as ever. Your mind went into immediate remorse and sorrow… 

You had attacked the man who had trained you, taken you in after your parents had been murdered (clayface went away for that again)... Bruce had known what you had been going through… he knew what you had to become so he trained you to be apart of his team… 

Bruce: “its okay YN, its okay… we will always be here for you… dont worry about the letter right now, we can find out its contents in the morning…”

Thats when Bruce pulled back to wipe away the tears… you were then not in control of your own tears… 

Bruce: “we should all sleep… its been a long day… Dick can you take YN upstairs and stay there… Barb wanna sleep down here on your favorite sofa bed… Talia if you want you can stay with me in my quarters..”

Barb went to the sofa and made her bed after giving you a hug… Talia and Bruce walked into the far master suite and shut the door behind them… you and Dick went upstairs to the upper room… 

Dick: “i know this wont make up for it but i hope you can find your happiness again… no matter what this letter says… i know your scared but i am seriously worried about you… Barb is worried as hell.. She was texting me updates about you how you were doing and she honestly sounded scared… i know you are still in mourning but right now its gonna be easiest to sleep if you have me right here with you… okay so if your okay with it we can cuddle up on the bed and eventually we will both pass out…”

You nod already sitting on the bed… mean sure you were exhausted but you were not sure what would happen when and or if you were to close your eyes…

--------------------------

~alone is good sometimes, but not when you are in mourning… if your in grieving or mourning being alone is far from the best thing you should do… its not gonna help you heal as good as being with the ones that love you…~

Dick removed his sweater and his shoes and socks making his way onto the bed… he waited for you to do the same thing… when he saw you shaking he decided to help you… he came round and helped you remove your socks, and your housecoat… 

You placed your phone and the letter on the nightstand, you then fluffed the pillow that would be somewhat beneath your head and laid back… Dick’s arms pulled you against his chest… turned out you wouldnt need the pillow at all… 

After Dick closed his lamp and pulled the covers up suddenly you felt okay… you felt comfort, you felt warmth… you felt calm.. A peace swept over you making you drift off into a calm peaceful sleep…

Dick soon followed but first he made sure that he had you in his full embrace, made sure you were nice and safe and happily snoring… the next morning you woke to your phone ringing… you turned over and answered it trying to sound as awake as possible…

YN: “hello.”

James: “YN, its Jim, Barbara’s father… i hope i didnt wake you…”

YN: “no not at all… what can i do for you?”

Jim: “my men and i were alerted by a mutual friend last night to a warehouse that had exploded… we found a body… im sory YN but Jensen was in that warehouse…”

You felt Dick’s arm tighten around you and both of you went through the rest of the call… but you were shocked once more you forgot how to use words… Dick took the phone and began to speak to Gordon…

Dick: “commissioner its Dick Grayson… i was tasked by Bruce to stay with her till we heard anything about Jensen’s disappearance… it seems YN has gone into a state of shock… i have no idea what to say except thank you for letting us know about this…”

Jim: “mr Grayson i hope you realize this is a very delicate situation… i know this puts a strain on things but could i trouble a moment to speak with Bruce if he is near by…”

Dick: “hold on let me get him…”

Dick pulled the phone away from his ear he went down the stairs and knocked on the door to the master suite…

Dick: “Bruce its gordon he wants to talk to you…”

Dick heard Bruce’s footsteps from where he stood… Bruce emerged from the bedroom to meet Dick to grab the phone and follow him back upstairs…

Bruce: “hey jim what can i do for you?”

Jim: “bruce i wanted you to hear this too but my men and i got a tip from our mutual friend who alerted us to a warehouse explosion, not only was the warehouse one that belonged to Wayne Tech but one of your wards Jensen was inside… his body was discovered amidst the rubble… i fear that my telling this to YN may have shocked her, i apologize for disrupting your mornings… but i had to make this call personally… again my deepest condolances…”

Bruce: “thank you Jim… as soon as we know when the funeral is we would be delighted to have you there… i know it would mean the world to Barb and YN…”

Jim: “thank you Bruce… ill be in touch with an autopsy…”

The call ended, bruce handed the phone back to Dick who placed it on the nightstand and went back to comforting you… 

Bruce then went back downstairs… he then called his secretary and had her draw up a damage report and send out clean up and retrieval crews to the scene of the explosion to see if any of the warehouse contents could be salvaged… 

Dick: “might be a good idea to take a shower relax and untense… you might want to loosen up…”

YN: “im not sure i could relax right now its not been a easy few weeks…”

Dick: “why dont you put on a swim suit or at least a bikini and go sit in the jacuzzi thats in the room up here and ill come in and massage your shoulders to help with the relaxation…”

You shrug slightly intrigued at the idea… you get up and go to the dresser and pull out your bikini… Dick watches as you grab it slunking towards the changing cover while Dick goes to start the jacuzzi get it all warmed up and bubbly… throwing in your favorite scent of Vanilla.. 

Dick finished in there and came out to find you sitting on the bed in your bikini… it was a sight he had not seen in a while… 

Dick: “its ready when you are… how are you feeling right now?”

YN: “honestly i dont know… i havent felt anything like this since my parents but honestly if i didnt have people in my life who truly cared for me i would have probably wound up in arkham years ago…”

Dick: “well technically you probably wouldnt have wound up in Arkham, probably in Jail for sure but not straight in the loony bin… thats a little harsh dont you think…”

YN: “its the truth… im gonna go get into the jacuzzi… you might want to consider getting into something that you wouldnt mind if it got wet…”

Dick only laughed as he watched you walk towards the jacuzzi… he then got into a pair of his trunks that he too kept in that room… and got into those… he stretched and made sure to have his muscles flexed and ready to help de tense and un stress you…

YN: "this feels so nice…" 

Those words caught dicks ears as he finished getting stretched out making sure he was gonna be able to help you in the best way possible… 

Dick entered the bathroom, he came up and sat right behind you, his knees were at your head and his feet on either side of you… Your body felt like a twisted pretzel… It was only then that your body felt relaxation the same relaxation it had felt like years since this type of relaxation had been upon you… 

Dick: “you only need say anything if something is tender like worse than having your shoulder dislocated tender… just feel the tension and stress leave your body…”

You felt his hands work their way into your shoulders the tension strong and over bearing… your only comfort was knowing that all you had to do was relax and push all the stress and tension from your mind as well as your body.

YN: “thank you!”

You let out in a slurr of small sighs leaving your lips. Thats when Barb knocked on the bathroom frame making you and Dick turn to face her…

Barb: “sorry am i interrupting?”

YN: “not at all B! In fact im glad your here… im so sorry for worrying you girl! I didnt mean to go as therapists would say catatonic on you… i was just fearful, i was scared…”

Barb comes over to you and leans over the side of the Jacuzzi just to hug you… you broke once more for the first time in a few moments. Barb didnt care that you were sitting in a jacuzzi she knew that you were in a rough time right then… 

Barb: “you have nothing to apologize for… i know you are going through a rough patch… you need to find a way to heal…”

When your ears heard that a feeling hit you, it was right in front of you the entire time… Or rather right beside you… Dick was the one who originally knew about what happened to you with the league, Bruce hadn't know till recently neither Barb nor anyone… Dick had been the one you trusted with that part of you… 

YN: "do not worry I think whatever is inside of the letter from Jensen is gonna be helpful in helping me move on…" 

You hoped that No one caught on to your meaning…  Dicks foot was grazing your side… His hands were still on your upper back/shoulders…

~for many of us our friends are our balance. If we dont keep an open mind we might never see the bigger picture~

Dick: "Barb was there another reason why you interrupted my de-stressing of our best friend?" 

Barb: "Bruce says he has a tattoo buddy who is available if any of us want tattoos of any kind.. I came up here to ask if you guys wanted any?" 

Dick and you looked at eachother, you smiled slightly knowing that you possibly now had a way to heal… 

YN: "put me down for one…I'll get the league symbol on my arm!" 

Dick smiled he was slightly new to the whole let your feelings show thing… 

Dick: "I'll get the same thing, Talia did say when I was inducted to get one as soon as possible so I could come and…"

YN: “come and go through the border whenever not needing to wait for the escort to arrive… ya she told me the same thing… she told me to get it on my bicep as my league outfit is a one shoulder so have it on the exposed shoulder.”

Barb was shocked, but she now knew why you started wearing one shoulders so it was exposed only on one side… Dick found that description that you gave very alluring! 

Dick: "Barb can I finish relaxing our best friend now?" 

Barb: "of course I'll yell when the tattoo artist gets here…"

You ran instantly into the back side corner of your mind… You knew Dicks hands hadn't left your body, you knew dicks feet had been making circles into your thighs beneath the bubbles. But there are many things that life will throw your way before we realize that what we need is sometimes right in front of or beside us… 

YN: "I heard that small sigh leave your lips a few moments ago… Is everything alright?" 

Dick had you reposition back to how you were… 

Dick: "I've been fooling myself this entire time… Before you and Jensen got together I wasn't sure what I was feeling… But now seeing you sad and heart broken I know what I have felt this entire time…" 

You were sure that you knew what he meant but then he moved from directly behind you and went round the other side of the jacuzzi to get into the jacuzzi…

Dick: "I got an email yesterday just after the warehouse exploded… ItIt was from Jensen he sent me my part of the will, or he had it sent by someone else in the event of his death… TheThe email said that he wants me to take his place in your life in the event of his death… I have been in love with you from the first moment I met you… I love you YN!"

Your hand felt his beneath the water entangling fingers was one thing but the emotion you had been feeling coming off of him made you realize you did have a bit less control right then… Dicks hands pulled you close to his body, so you were straddling him… his hands on your hips, your body didnt tremble for you knew now that it was Jensen’s wish that you and Dick be together…

YN: “im gonna grind you, kiss me like you keep licking your lips seductively to do please dont be afraid to do so…”

Dick at that moment kissed you, the movement in your hips made him and you moan into the kiss, deeper into the kiss you guys went the more your hips grinded against his cock, that you could feel was getting harder beneath you… 

Dick: “keep grinding me like this and ill be cumming sooner rather than later… now keep going baby… lets make the water shake…”

You continued to grind, you had orgasmed several times now… your only thought was the fact that you were basically having clothed grind with the man who now was to be your lover by request of your dead fiance… 

The water went everywhere it was like waves on a shore, but more confined and alot more sexy… You and Dick were so close to finishing that session… But you still had to orgasm for the final time… 

YN: "I'm gonna cum, Dick I'm gonna cum…"

Dick: "do it baby do it and let the stress leave your body…" 

You grind your new love a while longer before your release is brought… Sweet bliss came over you, left you breathless… You kissed Dick once more before speaking again… 

YN: "I can't remember the last time I felt this calm… Or happy… I Never thought that I would be happy again…" 

Dick: "I love you YN. Now what you say we get out of here get into something comfy go downstairs and read that letter, you don't have to go through this alone anymore…" 

You kissed him again before getting out of the tub.. You then looked at the floor round the tub… 

------------------

Dick: "what's that look for?" 

YN:  "we may need to clean up the floor… It looks like we tried to flood the place…" 

Dick now stands up and looks around… He brings himself out of the jacuzzi first laying down a few towels so you guys can get out without falling.. Then he returns to the side of the jacuzzi extending his hand to help you out of the tub. 

YN:   "can you pass me my towel?"

Dick grabs your towel off the counter and wraps it round your shoulders. Then both of you walk out of the bathroom, you went to your clothing pile and picked out something comfortable a pair of pj shorts and a top with a built in bra. You take your clothing to the change cover and begin getting changed leaving the rest of the space for dick to use… 

Dick:  "I know you aren't looking forward to reading the letter, but part of being a hero is being able to withstand the harshest of pain. Over time it will get better, it will become easier… And I hope one day we can be happy together…" 

YN: "I'm so sorry for not telling you how I felt after Nanda Parbat… I Didn't want to hide my feelings but I never thought I would loose my hope of love… i somehow always knew that you would be right there if i ever lost my hope of love.”

You got right into your shorts and spun round to put on your tank top but felt a set of eyes on your back… you knew who it was but lets say you were very heated still from the make out grind in the jacuzzi. 

You came out of the change cover to find dick in his sweats and no shirt… he was facing the bed… you went up behind him and slowly wrapped your arms around him from behind… you felt him sigh, his muscles tensed beneath your touch… it was a few moments later when your feelings started to show…

Your fingers were tracing his abs, he turned around and embraced you equally… Both of you found grieving in each other's arms rather comforting… 

Yn: "we should probably go downstairs to read the letter to everyone. For the first time in these last few weeks I finally feel like I'm starting to heal.." 

Dick smiled as he kissed your forehead, he had a muscle shirt and the letter then he held now your hand as well to make facing people easier…  as you both walked down the stairs, all eyes were on you… 

Dick: “attention everyone… i know what this looks like and yes it is what it looks like Jensen had someone else send me an email from his account in the event of his death… the email stated that i was to take his place in YN’s heart, life and give her the love she deserves… he said that no matter what i did, he wants her happiness to come first.. So we did have a bit of fun in the jacuzzi.. We made out and basically left more water outside the jacuzzi than not… thank god for the heated floors. The water will be evaporated in a while… now if everyone wants to take a seat, YN will open and read the letter…”

You walked with Dick to the bean bag chair that was facing everyone… the eyes around the room made your tear ducts start to fill… but you opened the small seal and pulled the letter out of the envelope… 

YN (reading the letter): “my dearest YN, i know this is not how wills are done but i didnt want to go through the proper channels and risk you being locked out of everything… i had a lawyer put all my accounts in your name… you have had my heart as i have had yours, everything i have is yours… Dick you take care of my girl… i hope you will make her as happy as i have… Barb, i leave you all my old tech its in a box in my closet, i know you will use it to better the tech usage in our little family. Bruce thank you for everything you did for me, taking me in, helping me cope with my circumstances… if it wasnt for you i would not be here… to my dearest angel, dont be sad, i know that you are gonna do great things and i am so sorry for leaving you alone in this world… but i know you will find your strength again… it saddens me to write this here but i have a bad feeling about this, why did Joker not tell anyone about me and YN… he knew our identities, he knew who we were… but yet he choose not to tell anyone… anyway… Bruce i know you will find another amazing robin who too will do you proud, Dick take care of my angel, make sure her happiness comes first. Barb you take care of yourself and dont let my angel do anything stupid… all my love Jensen!”

The tears fell freely they soaked the paper, Dicks arms around you tightened… he knew what you were feeling after reading that… he knew that wasnt gonna be easy for you to do in the first place but having you do that right then he knew you were not happy…

----------------------

~the life we lead is the life we sometimes dont choose how to live it, but instead it chooses for us~

Barb: “woohoo i get more stuff… yay more upgrades for everyone…”

Bruce: “i dont know what to say…”

Dick: “its okay love… its okay… your gonna heal… your gonna be okay…”

Thats when talia pipped up… she had been so quiet, everyone minus Bruce hadnt noticed that she was still there…

Talia: “now that we have established this… Dick and YN as members of the League we require that all couples in the league new or not have to appear before my father and he will bestow blessing and then you both have to basically consummate your union in some form or another while the league fights in a combat circle round you… also to divorce within the league is punishable by death… but getting your league tattoos today will be a good show of faith when you appear before my father…”

You looked at Dick and knew what he was gonna say but you didnt want to say anything you were still in shock…

Dick: “Talia i dont think now is the best time for this talk… look when we are ready for that we will do that but right now we need to get used to this new life that we now shall lead… now i believe that we need to comfort YN… how do we figure a way to do that?”

Barb: “theres still tequila.. How bout a round of shots?”

Thats when your computer went off the skype thing was sounding, you got up and went to see who was calling… it was the r&d department… you wiped your tears away and answered the call… 

YN: “sean whats up?”

Sean: “YN sorry to bother you i hope im not interrupting anything important…”

YN: “no not at all… what can i do for you?”

Sean: “there is an issue with the development of project 53277… the construction of the project was haulted the workers have gone on strike…”

You looked out from behind the computer and waved Bruce over…

Bruce: “sean i heard what you told YN who told the workers to go on strike?”

Sean: “i dont know sir, but i can tell you that we are working as fast as we can to figure out who gave the order and why… as soon as we do i will tell you both immediately… but i figured i would let you both know what was happening… i have also told the arkham staff to contact you regarding the construction… they should be contacting you any time now… im sorry to disrupt both your days…”

Bruce: “no trouble at all thank you for informing us… call us if anything else happens or if we need to come down…”

Sean: “will do Mr. Wayne… YN hope you feel better soon…”

You nod and end the call…

YN: “you might want to call arkham or shall we just go down and talk to sharp ourselves…”

Bruce: “we will go down after you and Dick get your tattoos… it might be a good idea to get you out for a while… focus on your other work… my artist buddy will be here soon…  he is the one who has done many favors for me and he is also one of the best legal tattoo artists in town… at the expos he is always the one giving charity tats…”

Thats when the elevator opened to a voice…

Frank: “thats because you dont really give me a choice… you always flash your dashing smile and always i say yes… cause i know you about as well as you know me it seems…”

Bruce went to give Frank a firm handshake and a bro hug… you feel Dick’s hands come to rest on your shoulders… you reach over and take hold of one of his hands… your heart beating so quickly…

Bruce: “Frank its been too long… set up shop anywhere you want… so far you have 3 people.. But i hope you brought a partner…”

Then another man appeared out of the staircase…

Harry: “sorry dudes i took the long way…”

Bruce and Frank engaged in a 3 way bro hug with Harry… who proceeded to also set up tattoo equipment…. 

Bruce: “alright i guess some introductions are in order… Barb, Talia, YN and Dick meet the 2 buddies of mine that i stayed in contact with after prep school… as you all can see we all have led very different lives… but Frank and Harry meet my small but yet fantastic family…”

The greetings were short and sweet as frank and Harry continued to set up… you and Dick became cuddly… you were still shaken over the letter… Dick knew what to do he knew what you must have been going through… but as he held you close he was trying to figure out how to give you comfort about all of this…

Dick: “how bout this, after we get our tattoos and you deal with the problem at that wayne tech project we take a trip to bludhaven and pick up some more of my shit from my apartment in bludhaven… it would be a nice break from the city… we would be able to make our own little way for ourselves in this crazy city we call home. I cant imagine living anywhere but here with you… what do you say YN ready to make this penthouse our home?”

You turned immediately to face him… you were shocked that he would say that… but then Bruce spoke next…

Bruce: “YN i figured you and Dick might want to have a second home away from the manor for a while. these next few months are gonna be tough on you… i just want you to be happy… but know that your rooms will still be yours at the manor forever. I release you both into the arms of eachother to grieve and mourn…”

You and Dick sat in the tattoo stations and got the league symbols on your biceps… this ensured that you guys would be able to enter and exit nanda parbat when and or if you both go back…

You went to the mirror and stood there admiring the tattoo that now was on your arm… it was a wonder and it felt so weird to see it on your bicep… Dick came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist…

Dick: “when do you want to leave for bludhaven?”

YN: “in a while… we arent in any rush are we?”

Dick: “nope…”

YN: “plus i want to talk to Talia… see if i can make another arrangement with her concerning the whole league right of blessing for couples thing get us out of it… i really dont want to appear before Ra’s at all…”

Dick held you tighter both of you now admiring your tattoos. 

Dick: “me either… go talk to Talia im gonna see where we are at with the whole find Joker thing…”

--------------------

You went away from Dick and towards Talia…

YN: “can we speak Talia in private?”

Talia: “lead the way Lady YN…”

You lead her upstairs and you both stand facing eachother.

Talia: “what does this concern?”

YN: “you brought up earlier that me and Dick would need to appear before your father and get blessing for being together… i am here to speak to you about coming up with another arrangement…”

Talia: “YN i know my father is intimidating…”

YN: “thats one way to put it, scary is the word that Dick and i used… we discussed it and we dont want to apear before your father, we dont want to consummate in front of the entire league, we want a different option that will still get us the blessing from your father and doesnt involve us going back to Nanda Parbat…”

Talia thought about this, she knew her father scared you, she knew you wouldnt want to go back to stand before him… 

Talia: “i thought you may say that so i have already spoken with father, he has given an alternative… you and Dick after the funeral for Jensen have to deliver his body to the gates of our league stronghold just outside of Gotham city where my father said he will be to have you both sign a statement of blessing… this will be considered the alternative to the consummation and such thing… do we have an accords.?.”

YN: “we do… i assume we will know the stronghold when we see it…”

Talia: “of course… and YN once more im so sorry for your loss, but im happy that your happy…”

You and Talia hugged, you were still torn, but you felt the love that Talia was giving off.. You found it oddly comforting… you both went back downstairs and rejoined the others.

Dick: “no sign of Joker but we will have the word from the league when and if anything does show up on Joker… now bruce is the car in the garage?”

Bruce: “yep just let the valet know when your on your way down and they will bring it out for you… YN you are a great help to the company and a valuable asset i hope to see you back at work soon… speaking of which we still need to go deal with the issue on project 53277… Dick can i borrow your girl for a bit and you meet us there when your ready to go? Cause we need to deal with this…”

Dick: “sure thing ill get a bag of things together for the trip to bludhaven… ill text when im on my way to the asylum…”

You go and get into something comfy yet presentable to show up and do business… you arrive back downstairs and prepare to leave…

Dick: “ill see you in a while dont worry about anything the drive to bludhaven isnt gonna take that long, we will be back before you know it…”

YN: “i love you…”

Dick kisses you for a few moments before pulling back to stare into your eyes.

Dick: “i love you too… now go do what you have to do… ill see you later.”

You walk into the elevator and head out with Bruce you guys made your way to one of Bruce’s vehicles and made your way to arkham…

----------------

Upon arrival at Arkham you got out of the car and saw the workers just standing there in portest with their signs and such…

You and Bruce walked through them and went into the asylum and headed straight for Sharps office… the conversation took place like this:

Sharp: “Bruce, YN welcome to Arkham… what brings you both here this afternoon?”

Bruce: “we got a call from one of our staff, they said that the workers haulted… we came down as soon as we could to figure out why that is…”

Sharp: "mr. Wayne, miss YLN the workers feel like the project is a waste of time… so they went on strike to get the attention of you guys to make their point…"

Bruce: "what the hell would… wait.. do we have count of all the inmates in prisoner here right now… have any been near the workers?"

Sharp: "come to think of it scarecrow was rolled into his new home cause that was the first room finished and he unleashed a bit of fear toxin, maybe he planted an idea with that.."

YN: "if it is scarecrows toxin why does he have any of that on him."

Sharp: "we have a new psychologist in arkham he believes to let the inmates a small quantity of what their fixations are."

YN: "well let me speak to this person who clearly is in need to understand how dangerous these people are…"

Sharp put out a pager over the arkham radio and a few moments later a knock was on the door.. 

Sharp: "come in dr… miss YN would like to understand about your practices…"

Dr. Gregory: "of course she is welcome to tag along while I go on some rounds if she likes."

YN: “i would love too… i have seen first hand what these criminals can do doctor… i dont know how you think letting them have their fixations is a good idea… its a bad idea especially for the ones like scarecrow who use toxins and such types of things… Bruce will you go and talk to the workers while i observe this docs methods…”

Bruce nods as you walk away with the doc following him as he explains what he does and why he does it you look at the asylum and then you are given your chance to speak…

YN: “if i may though your methods sound unique, i dont see how they are effective even in small doses look what cranes toxin and his influence did to those workers… if anything you might only be making the problem worse… you need to be listening to them, you need to record the sessions you have with each patient, you need to document them… Arkham Asylum runs so criminals can be kept off the streets and away from the public, but by giving the villans a bit of what each one craves your making them that much more dangerous. the next time they escape they could go on a killing spree or worse kill you and everyone in this asylum that isnt with them. what im saying is change your practices so you aren’t the reason that more people in this city suffer at the hands of these inmates.”

You stepped back a bit as he took a peak in on a few of the inmates… then you both arrived back at the entrance to the asylum… shaking hands he agreed to stop giving the inmates what they want and focusing more on helping them psychologically…

Meanwhile Bruce was having a heated argument with the building instructor…

Bob: “so mr fancy pants here thinks he can just waltz on to this construction site and demand that we get back to work… thats rediculous…”

YN: “hey dudes, listen up your all under the influence of Scarecrows fear toxin and suggestive thinking… go dunk your heads in some cold water and clear your heads… ill go inside as the owner of this project and inspect… when you come back i expect you all to get to work.. Is that clear…”

Those guys went to the vats of cold water immediately, you had never seen anyone move so quickly… you strightened out and made your final approach to Bruce…

Bruce: “thank you for saving my face…”

YN: “i think you could have handled it but i wanted to save you as payment for all the times you saved me…”

Bruce: “dont worry about it, i am just happy that the project will be able to be completed… they were working on crocs cell…”

YN: “good the sooner we get him out of those dank sewer cell the better the less chance he will stay as cruel and mean… at least if he is in a proper cell he will be able to rehabilitate a bit easier…”

Bruce: “you mean to try to get Croc somewhat human again…”

YN: “yes of course… thats the goal. Now let me know what happens when those workers return… and make sure they work and if they dont deduct their pay… my ride has arrived… see you in a bit…”

Bruce: “drive safe let me know when you guys get to Bludhaven.”

-----------------

You nod as Dick honks the horn and you approach the car in a hastey speed removing your cardigan as you enter the vehicle… 

Dick: “everything okay here?”

YN: “yep, the workers had a small influential run in with Scarecrow when he was being transferred into his new secure cell… i told them to go dunk their heads in cold water and get back to work. I also had a chat with the psychologist and told him to not adhere to what they crave but instead get more into the psychological aspect of helping the patients… I kinda established dominance in that speech i gave him now thinking about it…"

Dick: "i would have loved to see that… shall we hit the road it's at least 2 hours to bludhaven?"

You nod as Dick starts the drive… the sound of the tires on the pavement was all you cared about …  that and having Dick beside you… the car was small, but not too small, it wasnt a smart car… about an hour into the drive you turned to gaze at your new boux. 

YN: “Dick, can i ask you a question?”

Dick: “of course you can…”

YN: “when we get back to gotham and move into the penthouse, can we get rid of those icky beige walls in the penthouse? Please i mean it would look less boring… plus i want to get some more linens. I find that Bruce doesnt keep enough in there… i mean there are the ones for swimming… which yay!!! Pool… and we dont have to clean it… but yay its private so we dont have to share it with anyone but eachother… anyway what do you say to redecorating the penthouse.?”

Dick: “i think thats a lovely idea… honestly i was kinda thinking the same thing… we can do some massive art designs.”

As you and dick talked further about design plans for the penthouse, you felt like something was wrong in the air. But signs for BludHaven started becoming more and more frequent. Then there it was, no where near the size of Gotham city but about the size of maybe the narrows, diamond district and crime alley combined… 

It was then that you saw it, saw the fantastic building at the center of this small city… the wayne building… you should probably stop by and check on the r&d make sure everything is on schedule.

You texted Bruce and told him you were stopping there and asked if he wanted anything, he simply said the reports printed and signed by the overseer in charge… 

You agreed and you were just trying to figure out how to bring it… 

Dick: "you want to stop by Wayne tech don't you?" 

YN: "yes and Bruce wants the regular reports and I want the R&D reports… do you mind if we stop there?" 

Dick: "my place is near there… Its on the way to my building…" 

YN: "wanna come inside with me?" 

Dick: "I would love to see what my lady is developing for us." 

------------------

~honesty is a trait held in the upmost highest of respects in any relationship~

You and Dick now making your way to the underground parkade using your key card to get inside you put your parking pass on the mirror. Getting out of the car you look at the parkade and smile lightly as Dick takes your hand and you both enter the elevator with ease.

Dick: “well same-ish architecture for this building as the home office… but lets go inside and see whats what.”

You guys reach the top floor, you both get off the elevator. But you are instantly surprised when the staff is not there… no admin staff anyway… you head off towards the offices… you handed Dick your bag which he didnt mind holding on to, while you didnt knock before entering the doorway… this made the Woman sitting in that office jump out of her seat…

YN: “you know Mr Wayne and i expect all of our company locations to have office personal that greet the guests and people that enter…”

The lady wore a badge that said, ‘Karen, Management of location #4763389’... 

Karen: “i am so sorry miss YN, no one informed us that the head people would be coming… the office personal are on lunch… its their break. They finish their work before even considering a break. What can i assist you with?”

YN: “3 things: a tour of the R&D department, the R&D reports printed & the general reports printed. I am not gonna ask twice for any of these things.”

Karen: "of course miss, straight away… please wait here while I send the general reports to the printer… then we shall begin our tour…"

She goes to her computer and begins pressing buttons and doing things on the screen. You and Dick look around the office.  Seeing almost every wall covered in some sort of design or such… your only happy feeling was when Dick’s hand found the small of your back.

Dick: “i know that look, what are you thinking?”

YN: “this location seems different… i feel something very wrong here…”

*after several moments there a tour was had, you and Dick discovered a plot within the company you instantly acted and fired that person… you gathered your wits and the reports and left Dick following your tail, finishing your time in bludhaven gathering some more of Dick’s stuff from his apartment. the drive back to gotham was long and irritable… the trip to wayne tech was not what you had expected but it was not dull or boring. arriving back at the penthouse you both got help to bring up all the bags and boxes. the bellboy even unloaded it all against the wall by the elevator. he left leaving you both alone. You took a seat on the couch and leaned your head back in a low sigh...*

Dick: “i know you are thinking… do you want to talk about it?”

YN: “i just cant believe what the fuck has happened in the last few weeks. I certainly never imagined i would ever become engaged, then single, then instantly dating my other best friend, living in the penthouse where i have spent many nights away from the manor… ugh my head is spinning.”

Dick: “its okay… you know what we have all the time in the world to figure out what we want to be. Now lets strip the art off the walls and start designing.”

You got up off the couch and instantly began to help take art off walls and put up the painters tape… Dick watched as you absent mindedly did that… you did not want to do anything that might compromise the happiness you were kinda feeling right then. You had no idea how to even react, for you had agreed to deliver the body of your dead fiance to the league stronghold after the funeral. 

YN: "I dont… i cant… i wish i had never made out with jay in that park during patrol… none of this would have happened if joker hadnt caught us with our masks off… if that hadnt happened Jay would still be alive, i should have distanced myself from him after that night...  it was my own stupidity that got him killed…”

Dick: “its not your fault… you were just following your heart… no need to beat yourself up like this… Jay is not suffering right now… he is at peace… dont worry, when we bring him to the league stronghold i am sure that Talia will let you have a proper moment alone before they wisk him away… for now lets focus on us and making this place more us… come on love, my art skills compare nothing to yours…”

You looked into Dick’s eyes and immediately felt calm and peace wash over you… you got up and embraced him, his arms welcoming you close to his own form, the sence of peace and calm was upon you. All your fears washed away, and you felt instantly better. 

Dick: “now lets finish taking all this stuff off the walls and then go for a swim…”

Thats when the alert came in… Joker had been spotted… you went to the suit panel in the master bedroom and saw both yours and Dick’s suits sitting there along with your arsenals… 

YN: “dick i know that you are on my side but i want to go after Joker he needs to know he made a huge mistake for his crimes against us and our family…”

Dick: “lets suit up..”

You  both did just that, suiting up in anyplace other than the cave felt strange but at the same time not… when Dick came up to you after he had his suit on he wrapped his arms around your waist and for a moment you both stared in the mirror and wondered if you would ever get through this period of mourning… 

~its always the revenge that keeps us within the darkness, but when the darkness is plagued by the light from another it doesnt triumph, the light will always triumph.~

Dick: “the bikes are downstairs but obviously we cant go down looking like this… so i have a different idea…”

YN: “we can actually the elevator is private remember… the elevator is only for us… it can take us to the bikes… i know where they are too… right by the elevator exit in the garage…”

Dick: “where is joker?”

YN: “gotham central museum… he was seen entering there about an hour ago…”

Dick: “lets go then…”

You and Dick down the elevator went into the parking garage got on the bikes and rode off… not alerting the others, not caring bout anything else… just taking off towards what you hoped would be justice for what made you miserable.

Arriving at the museum you both got off the bikes setting them on remote control and alarmed to prevent thieves… you both make your way inside the front door…

Dick: “thermal scans show multiple goons patroling the next few areas…”

YN: “Joker must be trying to make a deal with Penguin… or else why would he be here… he has to be in the iceberg lounge…”

Dick: “ready to take out his goons…”

YN: “ill go high, you go low…”

Dick: “hope we can do more of that when we get back…”

You smile as you grapple up top, Dick goes under the floor grates… the sounds started to cease almost immediately… you waited a few moments before grappling down to the stand behind the 2 guards in front of the exit of the room… standing in the shadows you waited a few more seconds before dropping a smoke pellet, letting out a low whistle and having both you and Dick double takedown those 2 goons. High fiving you both head into the next room… 

Room by room you both went taking down all the goons you saw… then you guys appeared at the entrance of the iceberg lounge… you stopped in your tracks…

Dick: "batwoman you okay?"

YN: "no I feel weird nightwing… I cant move…"

Dick: "neither can i…"

The laughter that you hated so much, the laughter that made you cringe, the voice that now made the anger boil in your blood. 

Joker: “greetings party crashers, hey Batwoman hows the fiance? Were they able to pull his corpse out of the building?”

You had a look to kill in your eyes, Joker just laughed he knew you couldnt move…

Dick: “let us go Joker… or i swear you wont like what comes next..”

Joker: “oooo boy wonder all grown out of your leotards… how quaint maybe ill kill you and take away another person that this batwench loves…”

YN: “leave him the fuck alone Joker.. Release me… ill fight in penguins ring against your goons, but ill take you down ill beat you and everyone who works for you…”

Joker just laughs, he didnt think you were serious that is until he heard this little convo between you and Nightwing…

Nightwing: “what do you think you are doing? Batwoman are you nuts?”

Batwoman: “maybe but i am deadly serious. Unless he is too chicken to face me alone in combat… too scared to be beaten by a little girl...”

Joker: “Harley will face you little girl… she will face you on my behalf… if you defeat her then i will jump in the ring and fight with you… but you alone in the ring… your little friend here is gonna stay with my good friend penguin in the ministers box watching the fight…”

In seconds you could move again, you were seperated from Nightwing and knocked out… when you came too you were on the ground in the center of the iceberg lounge fight ring… you stood up and the first thing you saw was Dick in the dangerous care of Penguins goons. 

Penguin: “lookie here the little bat is awake…”

YN: “Nightwing… hold on love just hold on…”

Harley: “hes not the one you have to worry bout right no sugar…”

You turned around and took a defensive stance…

YN: “Harley, you know its not nice to sneak up on another female…”

Harley: “you know its not nice to threaten anothers love…”

YN: “you know that goes for you as well… now are we gonna talk or fight?”

You had your dual batarangs in each hand… you both were using dual wield weapons… the fight went on for what felt like years… 

Nightwing: "you know penguin, joker is probably gonna just debunk your entire operation as soon as he is through with us…"

Penguin: "shut up nightfart.. your girl has some spunk… but she wont last against both joker and harley…"

Within moments you were being held back by harley while joker jumped into the ring and began pumbling you… throwing punches ,left right and center… nightwing struggled against his bindings, he struggled against what was holding him back from getting to you… 

Joker: "I dont know what to tell you but when Robin was being tortured by men i was not in a playful mood… we had rather a one sided conversation, i did most of the talking after i shattered his lung… now I think I'll do the same to you… except maybe not as dramatic.. how bout I break a rib instead… tonight the most gracious of nights… the eve of christmas… the night where promises are made where gifts are given and where the spirit of good prevails… I bestow to you not the fate of your dead fiance, but the fate that shall be your own…"

Batwoman: "nightwing I…"

Nightwing: "I know but helps on the way just stall as long as you can…"

No sooner had that been said than the sound of bodies hitting the ground and the familiar grunts alerting you and nightwing to get your asses in gear… you elbowed harley in the stomach her grip on you loosened, you kicked Joker away he landed hard against the ground, then you grabbed harleys hands and flipped her to the ground… 

batman: “back off Joker, dont you or harley lay another hand on my ward… batgirl free nightwing, I'm gonna save batwoman…"

You were on bended knee grasping your side.. you knew something was either broken or at the very least bruised.. batman was in front of you in seconds… 

Batman: "coming here alone with nightwing was very very stupid, but also incredibly brave… now I've already alerted Gcpd to what's happening here, but let's get you back up top then I'll deal with…"

That's when joker and Harley were blocking the exit that you and batman had… you were now trying to stand by the support that batman was giving you… 

Batman: "can you fight?"

YN: "ill withstand… nightwing batgirl get down here and help…"

You were pursued by harley, she knocked you down… started beating you with her bat… your body twitched and squirmed, till batgirl was in front of you blocking you from harleys attack… 

Batgirl: "girl I'm gonna swap with nightwing then he will get you out of here…"

Batgirl and nightwing swapped places… nightwing came over to your side…

Nightwing: "hows it going doll?"

You cringed but laughed anyway…

YN: "can we get out of this hellhole?"

Nightwing using his grapple gun launched both of you into the air through the hole in the ceiling… you both landed on the roof… you were so sore, you would have bruising for days… your only savior was the fact that nightwing was able to get you out of there while batman and batgirl finished with joker and harley… for in that moment his arms were the only thing keeping you from collapsing…

Nightwing: "we just have to wait for batman and batgirl… we will all leave together… just keep awake babe… dont let the pain overtake you… I love you and i look forward to many more nights fighting crime with you.. course that's once your healed…"

Batman and batgirl came up onto the roof a mere 5 minutes later, you were leaning against the ledge supported also by dick… your thoughts trying to distract from the pain you were feeling..

Batman: "we have to get her out of here… I'll contact lucius and have him meet us at the penthouse so he can assess her injuries… dick can you still ride?" 

Dick: "yes I can…"

YN: "for the record I cant… i dont think anything is broken but something is definately out of place and very very bruised…"

Batgirl: "I'll take her bike back to the garage… unless we want to store them in the underground underground garage…"

Batman nods and then gently helps dick attach you to his front and then attaches you both to the zipline… which he sends barb down first… then he sends you and dick.. barb helps you and dick get out of the zipline attachment and then to the bike… 

------------

~what happened next: everyone arrives back at the penthouse, your medically examined by lucius, determined nothings broken but merely dislocated told that you would heal soon… joker was put behind bars, penguin and harley too… the funeral went off as well as could be expected …  the league was very honored that you both kept your word and delivered the body…  you got the blessing of the league to be together… you and dick finish moving into the penthouse…  you celebrate christmas like normal luckily barb and bruce had gotten you both extra gifts and talkee it over with each of you individually on which one you wanted to put from eachother… you finish decorating, then beginning the new journey together not realizing that it would not last long.. for now we skip to the week before halloween… where our story continues with you making the final preparations and plans for the wayne tech halloween fundraiser... little did you guys know that the worst was yet to come ~

YN: "no no no…."

Dick comes over to you upon hearing your shouts of dis-pleasement…

Dick: "babe what's wrong…?"

YN: "the venue for the wayne tech Halloween fundraiser just cancelled… now what do we do… there is no way we are cancelling this event but where are we gonna find a venue this late in the game…"

Bruce who was on the Skype call with you both of you going over and finalizing the plans for the fundraiser, now spoke up…

Bruce: "why dont we host at wayne manor… this wouldnt be the first time we have hosted a huge fundraiser, hell my father did that all the time…  we can utilize both ballrooms…"

YN: "bruce are you sure? Its alot to prepare in such a short amount of time… I mean it's a week away we cant possibly get ready in time… plus we have to let the guests know that the venue has changed… and the caterer, the musicians, the wayne tech board, everyone else…"

Bruce: "dont worry, my secretary is already on that don't worry… she and sean are gonna send emails and call every guest personally… they will even do overtime as a favor to us… I'm meeting with the board this afternoon I'll tell them then… have you spoken to vicki vale I know you had chosen her to cover the event…"

YN: "I'll speak to vicki… bruce I cant believe what I've been through… it's almost been a year… does it ever get easier… knowing what happened, knowing that a part of me died when Jensen died… knowing that even though joker is behind bars I still cant get through my fear that one day he will come for me… that he will escape arkham and find his way to me and he will finish what he started all those months ago…"

Bruce and dick both starred at you, dick was behind you now his hands on your shoulders, bruce starring at you, your eyes sparkling from the light of the lamp…

Bruce: "dont worry about anything YN, if anyone needs to contact you for any reason they will go through me first… you just relax… but call vicki first… let her know about the venue change… then dick take YN and go shopping she needs a day away…"

Dick: "on it bruce… also YN and I will take patrol these next few nights… we need to get back in the saddle…"

Bruce: "very well… but if you guys need help all you have to do is call…"

YN: "thank you bruce… let me know if anything else by me need doing!"

Bruce: "go enjoy yourselves, you deserve it… it's all on me… I'll keep in touch about the party…"

The call ended, you stretched getting off the chair and turning to face your boyfriend… 

Dick: "you know as sexy as those sweats are on you, going shopping in them is gonna send a bad rep… babe come on let's go get dressed, and get out of here for a while…"

YN: "what do you have in mind?"

Dick brings you to the closet… opening it he shows you the outfit he has chosen for you to wear out on that day…

YN: "that is perfect, my fave skinny jeans and my tank top… yes totally!!!"

While you and dick were getting dressed, you had bluetooth called vicki… conversation went like this:

Vicki(over the phone): "vicki vale…"

YN(over the phone): "hey vicki is YN… hows it going?"

Vicki (over the phone): "not bad how bout you?"

YN(over the phone): "not bad… your still good to cover the fundraiser right?"

Vicki(over the phone): "of course… why does it sound like somethings changed…"

YN(over the phone): "it's just a location change… it will still be on halloween night but it will be held at Wayne manor…"

Vicki(over the phone): "that's a relief.. I enjoy these fundraisers I love hearing more about what the future of wayne tech holds…"

YN(over the phone): "see you then vick, I hope we can catch up…"

Vicki(over the phone): "count on it girl!"

As soon as you hung up the call, you got this chill up your spine… but you and dick walked out the door and began your shopping spree, not knowing what lay ahead for you…

------------------------

~this next section is gonna be the death point… I'm very sorry for everything that's in this next small section but this is crucial… cause this is what happened a while after the league took Jensen's body back to nanda parbat, ra`s had the body prepared and readied to go in the Lazarus pit…~

Ra's: "has the boys body been prepared…"

Nyssa: "yes and my sister has returned to gotham city to be with her beloved…"

Ra's: "whatever the boy wants to do after he is resurrected no one is to stop him… especial li y if he wants to leave but he will need a day probably to get back into the swing of things…"

Nyssa: "we really gonna bring him back, father what is his use to us and our mission?"

Ra's: "let's bring the boy back to life…"

Nyssa snapped her fingers and several people dragged Jensen's body into the pit… after 5 minutes the pit bubbled and glowed… 2 minutes later Jensen bursted out of the pit… 

Jensen(newly resurrected): "nyssa you slimy skank, what the hell happened to… wait a moment you put me in the pit… I died… I remember now joker blew up a warehouse…I was dead… why did you bring me back?"

Ra's: "to tell you the truth about your fiance… she has been apart of the league since before you met her… she and your friend dick grayson are the ones who delivered your body to us at my request, as part of their league blessing… yes dick is apart of the league too… they have been together for a few weeks now… yes it's been a little over a month since the dreaded event that killed you…"

Jensen(newly resurrected): "so they are together… they followed my instructions… I want some more training before I go back to gotham… the pit changes people who are brought back from the dead… I want to learn to use the new training right before I go back… I'm Robin no more…"

Ra's: "indeed, nyssa my daughter will train you… she has a room prepared for you… when your ready to begin your training she will start… henceforth your *Ghita``Ahmar* to be rivaling the dark knight himself, as well as that of your fiance and best friend… Robin died in that warehouse, you are now the Red Hood…"

---------------

~from then to about 2 weeks before present setting Jensen spent every waking moment he could training with nyssa, wishing and hoping that you had not completely forgotten him… till 2 weeks before present day when he made his return to gotham… he returned the same night you and dick happened to be the ones patrolling… jensen sat in watch silently making sure he didnt jump the gun… that however also happened to the night when he stepped up his game as the red hood and gathered a meeting of the badies…  sending notices to all the worst of Gotham's badies… his only goal was to make alliances amongst the baddest of the bad… and that's where we head to now the meeting of the bads..~

Everyone showed up at the warehouse from bane to scarecrow to black mask to penguin to two face to poison ivy etc, even riddler showed up as well as carmine falcone, rupert Thorne & salvatore maroni… but all of them were really confused as to who called the meet…

Black mask: "so whose gonna fess up to calling this meet…"

Falcone: "if no one fesses up in 5 seconds I'm gonna take my boys and get ou…"

A gun shot echoed through the warehouse at that moment… 

Red hood: "sorry I'm late boys this meet is mine…"

Black mask: "and who are you tough guy?"

Red hood: "call me the red hood… I am so delighted to see so many of you here tonight… but I suppose you guys want me to explain why I called you all here?"

Bane spoke next for he was trying so hard not to get very very angry at this guy…

Bane: "listen up senor hood… I will break every single damn bone in your tiny body if you do not start explaining now…"

Red hood back flipped off the balcony and landed on the ground… 

Red hood: "it's quite easy I'm placing a bounty on the bat family… anyone who brings me ALIVE batwoman, batman, nightwing & batgirl will get a handsome reward paid to them by a powerful adversari…"

Sionis at that moment turns to face his henchmen...

Black Mask: "you hear that you pea brains go begin your search for the bats… bring them to the steel mill alive… and alert me once you have one… I'll alert sir hood…"

All the henchmen seemed to disperse the room, leaving the main badies only in the room… poison ivy got up at that moment and began to leave the room…

Ivy: "later boys theres too much testosterone in this room right now… ta ta…"

Ivy left and went back to the botanical garden… everyone else left in that room slowly one by one dispursed… off to do the deed that has been asked… 

Red hood once alone into the warehouse made it apparent to look up and stare at the moon high in the sky… he knew if any chance of seeing you it would be that night… he waited on a rooftop, he watched and waited, it was then that he saw you… he knew it was you he could tell… but you were with nightwing… then he remembered the request he had made of dick… he stayed where he was but watched he could then tell you were happy… 

Red hood: "I'll make myself known soon… soon my love soon we shall reign supreme…"

--------------

~present day you had heard a week ago from poison ivy that there waas a new player in Gotham… she told you the rundown telling you about the meeting and the collection of people who had been called in… but she didnt want war or money she just wanted to see the guy who trampled her plants on his vault off the balcony… she decided that she didnt need to get into business with that pee-brain… she would rather stick to being the in between gal… but with that warning now in play you and the rest of the team including the new robin Tim Drake who fancies barb now on high alert looking out for the first time they would all meet the red hood… that day was today…~

While out shopping you and dick had collected accessories, and partial parts to outfits… but you were now hunting your dress… every year you got a new one for this event… sure you could use one you already own but it wouldnt be fun if you did that… 

You wanted something unique but sexy and floor length possibly sparkly… then you saw it, the one gold off the shoulder sequined lace dress that you had not seen before must have been new… you got an attendant to grab your size and opena fitting room.. dick waited outside obviously… the attendant was very curtious…  

A few moments later once in the dress you took a moment to revel yourself in it.. you twirled in the mirror then heard the voice that had comforted you so many nights…

Dick: "hows it going in there?"

YN: "I love it… do you want to see it?"

Dick: "I would love to see what my hot sexy woman has chosen..."

You let out a shrill of giggles, you loved it when you and dick would go shopping, he loved watching you put on a fashion show… you opened the fitting room door and stepped out dick dropped the bags on the ground and came close to your form.

Dick: "this is so sexy… you will be so hot on my arm…"

That moment looking at you and dick in the mirror side by side your mind was at peace once more… dick let you go back into the dressing room as the attendant came back to help you out of the dress… you then told the attendant that you would take the dress… you and dick followed her back to the counter… checking out and charging it to the joint wayne tech account you both walked out… 

Making stops at the lingerie store and the book store you both had arms full of bags… leaving and going back to the car it was apparent that you had not only done the grocery shopping but enough of a shopping spree to last a while… 

Back to the penthouse you both travelled, not knowing what may lie ahead… but then your pagers rang high… letting them echo through the car speakers… you both answered the call..

Bruce: "sorry bout this but we have a report… joker and penguin have escaped from arkham… we need to go out and patrol as a family tonight… how soon can you both be here?"

YN: "be there in 15min meet you in the cave…"

Dick put the petal to the metal, both of you racing to the manor.. hearing that joker escaped was not what you needed to hear… but hearing it was smethng that you were not gonna let define your week… you wanted this taken care off now… arriving at the manor, parking the car, walking inside and heading straight to the cave.. you went straight to get ready before acknowledging anyone else.. 

Dick did the opposite, he went to see everyone they all knew that you were getting ready to fight to go out and look for the 2 escapees… you came back round to find everyone standing by your bike blocking your path..

YN: "out of my way guys… i dont want to hurt you but i need to go out there and start searching for this bastard he took my happiness from me once im not gonna let him do it again… so get out of my way… now!"

Dick and barb moved out of the way, but bruce stayed where he was, tim was by the computer he was the smart one, bruce however was the one who didnt seem to understand the concept of get out of your way… 

barb: "bruce why do you not move?"

Bruce: "cause she is not thinking clearly, she is thinking with her head instead of her heart, revenge is never the answer… believe me i know how this works…"

YN: "dont make me do this bruce… dont make me stop you…"

Bruce got into a stance as you back up a few paces and then vault yourself onto your bike… you kick bruce away when you land and then you take off out of the cave…

Bruce: "we have to go after her!"

Dick: "ive learned its best to give her some space when she gets like this… we will follow after  giving her a 10 minute head start… dont worry she will be fine…"

Everyone waited patiently… that is till one of the security cams near the river underpass spotted penguin… everyone else suited up as the following conversation took place no one was overly concerned about penguin… 

------------

Penguin spots something under the bridge, he stands there at the other end as a crack of thunder rolls through the sky… 

Penguin: "tweet tweet…"

Joker: "penguin you old feather brain, what brings you out of arkham?"

Penguin: "same thing as you clowny…"

Joker: “what do you say we let bigons be bigons and split the treasure 50/50… you know the  location about as well as i… lets shake on it…”

Joker shocked penguins hand and then took off… you happened to spot this from afar… penguin ran after him… but penguin actually knew where he was going alot more than joker did… lets just say Penguin has a few more screws available than Joker ever did… 

Penguin enters the gotham city cemetary and begins walking through looking for something specific…

Penguin: “a tisket a tasket which crypt holds the money casket…”

Then penguin spots the crypt with the giant cross… it kinda looks secluded and different from the others… he goes inside and down the stairs to see one lone casket bound in chains surrounded by candles… 

Penguin: “a little too much security for a casket full of money…"

Penguin breaks the chains and opens the casket but notices a skeleton in there, the rust on the side of the casket cuts penguins skin… 

~to sum this up penguin woke dracula… taking him out on a tour of gotham this is your run in with dracula… the prince of darkness himself… you watch from a distance before deciding to introduce yourself…~

Batwoman: "hey didnt anyone ever tell you not to bite people its rude to do that especially on defenseless innocents…"

Penguin: "master this is one of those pesky bats that i told you about… this is also the one who locked me in prison… do not let her escape she could be very useful…"

Batwoman: "penguin whose the crusty old guy i thought you were a solo bird…"

The man who didnt look entirely alive stepping closer he bowed slightly...

Dracula: "i am count dracula… i have been awakened in this new land away from my beautiful transylvania… you are a very captivating creature, come to me let me see you in a new light…"

Little did you know that you were being watched by someone, who was being watched by the rest of your family. You were now in draculas trance, you were not sure what was happening… but you lost all control of your entire body… dracula now was holding you close to him sstroking your cheek moving his nails to tear a hole by your neck in the suit… 

Red hood watching this happen jumped down into the alley, he picked up the vile of holy water he had collected from the church, he was now loading up into the water gun he had found… 

Red hood(jensen): "hey fang face let the lady go…"

Penguin: "and who are you supposed to be bitch…" 

Red hood stepped out of the shadows into the light still holding that water gun steady…

Red hood(jensen): "i am the Red Hood and for the last time ill say this let her go…"

You were still under a trance, red hood threw down a circle of holy water on the ground surrounding dracula… then he set down a silver ionized smoke pellet, then as fast as he had appeared he now was taking you back onto the rooftop away from them...

Batman, nightwing, robin & batgirl watched this act from the rooftop, then they watched as the sun began to come up dracula penguin and every other damn person that was with them vanished into the shadows. Their only concern right then was to find you before anyone else got their chance to as well as to find out who that dude was that whisked you away…

Batman: "did anyone see where they went?"

Batgirl: "maybe towards a rooftop or something.."

Nightwing: "im tracking her genetic markers… she is near the penthouse… like right across from it…"

Nightwing and batgirl went by rooftop, Bruce and Tim took the car… You were not fully aware of what had happened but you opened your eyes a while later to see someone leaning against the ledge… 

Red hood(Jensen): "move slowly your just coming out of a hypnotic trance… any idea who that was?”

You sat up slowly but could only muster getting up on your elbow before feeling the whole room start spinning again…

YN: “that was count dracula and a normal bad guy around here one whose name is penguin… to be truthful with you i dont think ive ever seen you round here before…”

Red Hood (jensen): “thats cause im new in town.. Im called red hood and who might you be?”

YN: “batwoman… i suppose i owe you my thanks for saving my life…”

Red Hood(jensen): “it was my pleasure i wasnt about to let a slimy vampire destroy a beautiful woman…”

The familiar sound of something wooshing through the air, you ducked but red hood was smart he caught the batarang… you turned to see Nightwing, Batgirl, Batman and Robin standing there… 

Red Hood(jensen): “ah so your the famous batman… your the ones who were trailing me all night… now you come here cause you think i would ever hurt your darling batwoman… i would never hurt such a magnificent creature… i saved her from being vampire chow by the way… take it from me deal with him before anyone else gets turned into the undead… YN remember who i am, remember me for i am all i am and all i was…”

At that moment a train zoomed by, he started to say something else but the sound was cut… by the time the train had finished he was gone… you were still on the ground, you let out a groan of pain… yes its true you were in pain, and alot of it… 

Nightwing: “bruce set up a zipline, make sure that it heads straight for the balcony… im gonna carry her on my back if she can hold on for that long…”

YN: “course i can, just mind the zipline and my ribs… again with the bruising… fuck i mean red hood didnt hurt me… but yet ive never seen him here before tonight… yet he knew who i was…”

Nightwing: “dont worry about that now… we will run voice rec once back at the penthouse… for now love we need to get you standing so you can get on my back…”

With the help of your family, you were now attempting to stand up… once on your feet you latched your arms around Dicks neck, you planted a kiss to his cheek as he carried you over to the zipline… bruce had just finished locking it down and bringing down the bar… he was gonna send you and Dick first…

Dick: "hold on babe we are home bound…"

You hold on tight as dick takes a running start at the zipline.. he grabs hold and away you both went, bruce and barb would surely follow… arriving at the bottom, the zipline stops for a moment to let you and dick off, then it retracts its way back up to take down the next person.

Dick: "come on babe lets get you into the master and lets get out of uniform…"

You let dick carry you into the master, you went to the panel and activated the hiding place, you then tried to bend over to unzip your boots but the bruising however much there actually is, was extremely painful… 

Dick: "hold on babe let me de-suit first then ill help you…"

Dick de suited his muscles rippling, his hair was a mess, he came back no shirt in sweats to see you still trying to figure out how to get your boot off without straining your brusied muscles… you were concerned with what Dick was gonna say when he turned back to face you…

Sure enough Dick turns around and shakes his head coming close to you he watches as you attempt to take your boot off while laying on your back… 

Dick: “need help babe?”

YN: “ugh these stupid bruises… it makes it really hard to bend and move and and and… babe can you please help me?”

Dick comes over to you and helps you de suit, then sitting you up leaning you against his form he brings over the medical rub… he starts rubbing your bruises… neither of you hear Barb, Tim or Bruce walk in neither of you cared… you were both decent enough it was nothing new and neither of you wanted to be anything less than what you were…

YN: “thank you all of you for coming after me… it must not have been easy for any of you to let me go like that… i also should not have taken off in the first place… it wasnt smart… but we have 2 new things to investigate… can we dig up anything and everything we can find on dracula and can we pull any voice  rec off the red hood… we have to deal with all of this before the halloween fundraiser… i certainly do not want dracula anywhere near there… trust me his trance is crazy strong… but i have a bad feeling about this red hood character, he spoke like we knew eachother, whoever he is knew exactly who i was and how i was gonna be when i woke up… he was very very strange. I want voice rec asap… and i want to learn all we can about our mysterious transylvanian visitor… and lace all our weapons and our suits with holy water and garlic… we cant risk any of us going under his influence… we also need to keep holy water on us at all times… if we are in civilian form at night… until we know where penguin and dracula are we will need every ounce of advantage we can muster…”

Bruce: “ill let you take point on the voice rec YN, ill handle the party planning till its done… dont worry… we will figure this out before the party… Barb see what you can dig up on Dracula… as for everyone right now take some rest… Barb, Tim lets leave Dick and YN we will all get together soon for results and patrolling… no one goes alone, we all stick together, we dont let them defeat us…”

In moments you and Dick were alone again… you set the laptop to scan the voice rec on the red hood from your data, from the nearby camera audio of him and from what Bruce had collected… 

Barb once back at the mansion went on her computer and searched for all the lore on vampires and Dracula… 

Bruce, Tim and Alfred laced every single weapon with garlic as well as the suits with Holy Water and changed some of the batarangs with the silver ones… it was not till they did that, did they realize that everything was alot more real…

--------‐--------

~TIME SKIP… the next 4 days before the fundraiser included the following events: 1. The voice rec scan takes forever to get started... 2. The red hood corners you while your walking in civilian form while on the way back to the penthouse from a short stroll to the grocery store… after a somewhat tantalizing conversation you collected more vocal data that might be useful in the voice callibration… 3. Joker follows penguin to the crypt where he gets turned into a vampire by Dracula… 4. Joker goes to rob the blood bank for a “free” meal and gets stopped by Batman… 5. Batman knocks joker unconcious and puts him in the lower lower holding cells in the cave… beginning to synthesis an antedoite to vampirism and using joker as the Guinea pig..  6. You begin to feel alot stronger as your bruising begins to heal… this brings us 1 day before the fundraiser, to when you and Dick are awoken by the voice rec scan being completed…~

Dick: "babe, wake up what is that noise?"

You awaken at the feeling of your boyfriend shaking you awake… you listened again and then got up and went to get your laptop and bring it back to bed… you sit up leaning against the headboard, Dick begins to run his fingers over your forearms as you continue to look at the laptop… 

Dick: "are the results in?"

YN: "i think so but its weird its telling me to analyze them further at the cave… but we arent gonna be there till later… so ill just save this to my server or just leave it open on my laptop, put my laptop to sleep, so we can go back to sleep…"

Dick: "its only 3am, babe i wanna go back to sleep with cuddling you in my arms!"

You finish placing your laptop back on its charger and placing it on the nightstand you dim the lamp again, laying back in bad and cuddling up with Dick… you both once more fall asleep held close in eachothers arms… 

Meanwhile the red hood was standing watch on the rooftop nearby he could hear everything, he didnt want to but he knew his sub concious would never let him allow anything bad happen to you… 

Several hours later, you and dick were awoken by the elevator dinging… you both got up to see who was possibly paying you a visit standing there in your housecoats you both await the elevator doors to open.

Dick: "were you Expecting anyone babe?"

YN: "nope, you?

Dick shakes his head as the doors open to see Talia standing there… you and Dick take a few steps back to sit on the couch… 

YN: “talia i hope you have a good reason for showing up unannounced…”

Talia: “Bruce asked me to be his date for the fundraiser but i quickly realized that i have nothing to wear, YN do you possibly have something that would well suit me…”

You get up from the couch but not before giving dick a kiss and going through your morning routine…

Dick: “morning babe.”

YN: “morning babe, can you make breakfast while i take Talia through my closet?”

Dick: “bacon, scrambled eggs and mashed potatoes with gravy coming right up along with Pepsi to drink.”

YN: “ill be right back babe.”

You take talia to your walk in closet… her eyes widen at the sight of your closet and how much is in there…

Talia: “what the hell YN your closet is spectacular…”

You let her look around… she came back out of the closet with your purple spaghetti strap notch dress with a low ruched back… you were surprised, but you smiled as she went and stood infront of the mirror… holding the dress against her form, she was sure that she would not make a very good impression on society… but she was willing to make things work wiht Bruce… 

YN: “ill even help you do your hair before the party tomorrow… just meet me at the mansion about an hour before it starts and ill do your hair up in the same fashion that i had Barb do mine before i went to a party in that particular dress… Bruce wont be able to resist you…”

Talia smiled as she lay the dress on the chair and walked out of the room with you…

Talia: “i shall see you both tomorrow… i hope things are well otherwise…”

YN: “yes they are, kinda we have a bit of a vampire problem and a new commer into the city but nothing we cant handle…”

Talia: “till tomorrow…”

She leaves back through the elevator… you head to the kitchen to see how Dick was fairing with cooking… you find him in the ktichen cooking the bacon… his back is turned he cant see you softly coming up behind him… you wrap your arms around his waist and lean into his muscular body… 

Dick: “did talia find something to wear?”

YN: “yes and what are you thinking so deeply about?”

Dick: “well i have something i have been wanting to give you, think of it as just a small something that symbolizes strength and unity… that symbolizes everything that we have been through in the almost year we have been together…”

You loosened your grip as Dick turned around to face you. The light in the kitchen making his blue eyes sparkle… your own body betraying your mind… on one hand you wanted Dick to lift you up onto the counter and just make out with you till whenever… on the other hand you wanted to allow Dick to finish what he was saying…

YN: “what are you saying Dick?”

Dick: “im saying that i should have brought these out months ago…”

Dick goes into the drawer behind you and pulls out 2 bracelets… he holds them in front of you and smiles as you read them… 

YN: “his beauty, Her beast… based off my favorite disney movie…”

Dick: “thank you for being the beauty to my beast… i love you…”

You kiss Dick knowing that you guys were almost finished your first year together… you were one of the few people that Dick trusted in general… dick placed the bracelet on you as you did him… there was nothing you wanted more than to stay in the penthouse all day but eventually you guys would have to get ready to leave for the manor… it was imperitive that things went smoothly.. 

Dick: “man you are amazing i just hope that patroling tonight we can find and stop Dracula and find out more about this red hood character before the fundraiser…”

YN: “i wish we could stay in this penthouse till patrolling tonight… but we did tell them that we would be there…”

~the following events are being short formed to hasten our way to the end of the story… 1. You and Dick finish getting stuff together to drop off at the mansion for the fundraiser… 2. You and Dick get ready yourselves to leave the penthouse making sure you have everything before you leave… 3. You find a note left on your car in whats supposed to be a secure parking garage… it was from the red hood and it was address to you… asking you to meet alone away from the rest of the family… saying he wanted to talk… you werent concerned… you knew the others may have different opinions… 4. You notice strange sights going to the manor, you noticed not as many homelss people on the streets, and not alot of normal people on the streets… you kinda figured that Dracula might have something to do with that but the only way to know that forsure was to most likely find Dracula's layer and administer the antidote if bruce has it ready… this brings us to your arrival at the manor… this is where the end of our story begins!~

Arriving at the manor Alfred was waiting on the stairs to greet you and help bring stuff inside.

Alfred: "welcome miss YN and Master Dick is everything in the car?"

YN: "most of it is in the back seat… in the trunk is a few wardrobe items that should be placed in our room as soon as possible please.. is everyone inside?"

Alfred: "yes they are all training… thought just between us i think miss gordon is winning… she had master Drake pinned and master Wayne on the ropes when i last saw…"

Dick: "do you mind alfred if we go down or would you like some help?"

Alfred: "ill be quite alright master Dick.. no need to worry… go enjoy your time…"

You and dick go inside and down into the cave… you see the sight of bruce fighting with barb… you look at dick and you throw off your cardigan and give your laptop bag to dick as you back flip onto the training matt… you low kick bruce…

Bruce: "now this is really not a fair fight…"

YN: "us together against you, yes it is a fair fight… we dont get our asses handed to us and you dont completely annihilate barb in a humiliating defeat… now are you man enough to take us both on or do you need to even up the fight and make this a doubles match…”

bruce smiled darkly… you and barb kept up your guard not knowing when he may strike…

bruce: “im not gonna ask fo help but if dick wants to jump in on the action we can make it like old times!”

dick puts everything he was holding on the couch, he then back flips over beside bruce… you sent a wink his way, you knew he wouldnt hurt you as you wouldnt him… the match started you went straight for Bruce… this was to be the greatest fight of your entire time training with the 3 of them…

bruce: “give it up YN you cant win…”

YN: “wanna bet, what was it you always told me… never take your eyes off of your opponant or you’ll land on your ass…”

thats when you pulled a daring feat… you enabled what was to be your final move of the match, to be your greatest move ever… you placed bruce in a choke hold, then tripped him so his knees bent and he kinda went into a submission move… twas not even five moments later that Bruce tripped off one of your legs you fell onto one knee bent… 

YN: “surrender Bruce you cant win…”

bruce: “wanna bet…”

thats when he knocked you on your ass, revearsing what you did to him to you… you were winning at first but now it was a matter of who could hold out longer… dick and barb were already done of course barb had won… teaching Dick a bit of girl power… 

you and Bruce however were trying to race against the clock, the timer had started a while ago… during doubles training fights  as soon as one pair has finished their fight a timer set for 1 minute starts… there was 20 seconds left on the clock… neither you nor Bruce were surrendering anytime soon.. the timer went which meant you go into overtime…

you and Bruce released eachother, standing up you both go to opposite ends of the mat… Dick came up to the center between you and bruce beginning his announcer speal..

Dick: “in this corner she is lethal and deadly and we all love her to bits, she makes the best pancakes and holds the record for most training sessions won.. heres YN…”

thats when Barb had helped you dry off the sweat and get into something more breathable…

Dick: “ and in this corner he has a dark past, he is the knight, he is the bat of gotham… he holds the record for the most bad guys locked away in Arkham, he owns his own company and takes orphans as wards under his care… Heres Bruce… and now contestants to the center mat…”

you and bruce stepped into the center mat… 

DIck: “alright guys you know the drill this is the sudden death round… the first person to get knocked to the ground in a submission hold for a total of 15 seconds will sound the buzzer and the person not in submission will be the winner… contestants are you ready…”

Bruce: “yes…”

YN: “stop talking and let us fight…”

you were determined to win, usually that was your blood lust from being set in the pit once and only once before… Dick knew not to take any offense to anything that you said while training… he knew you loved him, but the fight got underway… 

you jumped, flipped, dodged and weeved… neither of you had landed a single hit yet… till you backflipped over Bruce’s head and tackled him to the ground… you pinned him to the ground and leaned in to whisper in his ear…

YN(in a whisper): “i win!”

the buzzer went and you jumped up victorious… you were so happy… you did back flips all the way around the mat perimeter… then stopping back at Bruce who had rolled over now helping him up..

Bruce: “congratulations YN your skills have greatly improved… i am honored by that fight… it was amazing… but how did you know to catch me off guard by going behind me…”

YN: “because you had done the same thing when i first became part of your family… so i spent my nights of patrolling and beating up bad guys perfecting that maneuver… that way the next time we would end up in this sudden death situation i would use it and win… you fought with all your strength bruce but…"

The alarm sounded it was red hood he was on the roof top of wayne enterprises he was calling you out.. then a police alert came in reports of strange people on the streets looking like "vampires" everyone decided that you would go talk to Red hood while everyone else went to investigate the vamps well almost everyone… 

Bruce stayed behind to finish the antidote… it was gonna be a long night as it was, but now you guys didnt have to go looking for the bad guys, cause they were coming to you… before leaving you went to the server and plugged the voice rec files to the main server and listened to them… this is what you heard:

Red Hood: “YN remember who i am, remember me for i am all i am and all i was all the good times we had together kicking ass and taking names, throwing every ass we could into arkham… i promised you always and forever but it seems you took my will too much to heart… Babe i love you!”

That is what did you in, you now knew who he was, you swipped your laptop right off the table and in an agry huff you suited up and got on your bike and zoomed out of the cave… no one questioned why, no one knew why… they were focused on the vampire problem.. 

Arriving at wayne tower, you shoot yourself straight to the top… landing you look at the red hood and start trying to place it, the voice, the name, the body language, the way he dressed, the way he fought… the symbol on his chest… 

You disabled the rooftop security footage looping it round before removing your mask… 

YN: “Jay… Jay is that you?”

The red hood comes around from the other side of the vent system or whatever that huge metal box is… and removed his helmet… and once more you were staring into the eyes of the man who once made your heart soar… 

Jensen: “hey doll…”

You were kinda cautious to approach… you didnt know whether or not to trust him… you didnt know what to do, or say… but you knew that if Barb was smart she would recover the files and everyone would know… 

YN: “your alive, but i saw your body, the warehouse… what happened?”

Jensen: “after joker kidnapped me, he tortured me, babe i was hurt real badly… but then he said he had to leave that i was to be a good boy, finish all my homework and that i was to tell the big man he said hello… course i wasnt concerned with that… but it wasnt till i reached the locked door that i realized the place was rigged to explode… my last thoughts were truly of you… YN i know your with Dick and whats Dead should stay dead but i Jensen take you YN to be my wife to have and to hold in sickness and in health forever and ever for as long as we both shall live…”

You smile and you walk a little bit closer… 

YN: “Jay you wrote a letter that tore my heart in 2, you told your best friend to date me in your place… i spent 2 weeks in hell… i YN take you Jensen to be my husband to have and to hold in sickness and in health forever and ever for as long as we both shall live…”

Jensen dropped his helmet and held his arms open wide.

Jensen: “get into these arms doll!”

You ran into his arms, you both just stood there, he knew you were with Dick he wasnt gonna compromise what you and Dick had but you also knew there had to be a way to do both… thats when the coms came through connecting and leaving the arms of your beloved… 

YN: “whats…”

Nightwing: “batwoman, Batman is hurt i repeat batman is hurt… he is hurt really bad… Batgirl is still good… robin stayed back at the cave but we need your brains and quick thinking girl!!!”

YN: “sit tight love… im bringing some back up… the red hood is on our side…”

You went back into silent mode knowing that Jensen would have questions and that you were running out of time… 

Jensen: "are you sure that me coming with you is a good idea…?”

YN: “yes if i wasnt sure before, im hella sure now… i should warn you though dracula has apparently hurt bruce badly… we need to be very very careful…”

jensen: “when your ready dear lead the way!”

you put your mask back on, he puts his helmet back on… you both then start running along rooftops, doing back flips and testing all the skills seeing if anything might tip off the others as to who he was… 

Arriving at the cemetary you both enter the crypt…   weapon ready incase of attack… after a bit of walking you both heard the sounds of battle… you decide to join in… you both peak around the corner and making your way to the rock you pull out a garlic smoke pellet tossing it into the room, you both plug your noses as the pellet explodes… 

you both sneak through the smoke, helping Bruce up you both make your way through the caverns winging below… you had no idea where you were… 

Bruce: “hold on… let me breathe a moment…”

You pull off into this sewered corridor… you were not sure what to do… but you leaned Bruce against the wall… 

Bruce: “that was quick thinking on your part YN… thank you Red Hood… i hear your on our side…”

Red Hood: “i am indeed… YN and i had a chat, she trusts me… and once we get away from here away from these vampires ill happily explain why she trusts me…”

Bruce: “then lets follow this tunnel system back to the cave… then we will talk…”

You smile as Dick and Barb rush up behind you… you turn around and run into Dick’s embrace… to which he returns your embrace breathing a huge sigh of relief…

Dick: “are you alright?”

YN: “im fine… im so sorry for taking off again…”

He didnt let you finish talking instead he kissed you… for a few moments there was peace… thats when you all heard it… the sound of a sharp but low hiss echoing throughout the tunnels… 

Dracula: “you cant hide from me, you all will pay dearly for disrupting the raising of my bride…”

You all continue running… none of you really caring at the moment about what was with eachother, the only thing that you all wantdd to do was make ur back to the cave before Dracula found you… 

Making it to the entrance you all open the door but only 4 of you make it inside before Dracula draws closer… you stay behind both nightwing and red hood call your name but you tell them to just keep going and to have the solar generator ready… 

Batwoman: "hey ugly pants… fight me, no abilities, no biting, no mind control no specialities of any kind… or does count dracula not have any honor in a fair fight?"

Dracula appears at that moment and bows…

Dracula: "of course i have honor… the challenge is what you say it shall be when you are ready…"

You step down so you are blocking the way and you make stance… you then lunge at him.. this fight lasts several moments till you make one wrong move and dracula takes you and knocks you out… he then grabs you by the neck and carries you like that through the cave entry… 

The shadow appears through the foggy entrance to the others like only one figure till dracula steps through holding you by the neck…  thats when alfred turns on the solar generator and the conc3ntrated sunlight makes dracula burst into flames… 

You fall to the ground not unconcious but badly hurt… it was nightwing who went up to get you and bring you back down… 

---------------

~for this last part im gonna lump in the big reveal and a few other things that will make sense and tie up a few loose ends… so here begins the end…~

Barb: "okay before anything else gets done or said i need to take YN and de suit her so she can be properly medically treated…"

No one objected further as barb wheeled the medical table which now had you on it into the chamber where the suits go… you tried to do it yourself but decided that it wasnt a good idea.. knowing that your best friend was  there with you made things alot easier… but you still felt bad… you felt like something wasnt right… 

Barb: "would you hold still girl… dont make this harder than it needs to be…"

YN: "B im fine hone…"

You cringed as you were about to speak on account of you moved.. your body didnt like that… barb helped you de suit, she then went around and helped you into some shorts to go with your tank top and then brought you back out into the main area of the cave…

YN: "its time for you all to learn why i trust the red hood… why he is on our side… but first you all should know i found out bout who he is before i left earlier thats why i left in such a rush and fuss… im so sorry for not telling any of you before but i couldnt brign myself to say anything about this untill i had processed it myself… red hood when your ready…"

Thats when it happen thats when red hood took off his mask and the gasps from everyone came immediately pouring out… mostly the words "this isnt possible" "this isnt happening" "that explains alot" but dick was the one who was most shocked…

Dick: "what does this mean for us YN?"

Jensen: "you both are still gonna be together… you both need to realize that i am legally dead to show my face in public would not be good… it would tarnish the wayne name… but you guys look good together… i have watched you guys since dracula rolled into town… i know that being revealed to you guys again feels right… i wanted to tell you guys when i saw you all earlier in the week but i didnt want to spoil the good thing you guys had going.. dick you and YN belong together now and forever…"

Dick goes over to Jensen and smiles like he has a fiendish plot… 

Dick: "how bout you  become married to YN through the league since im assuming that it was ra's who brought you back… then ill be with her every other time and outside of the league..."

Jensen's eyes go wide at that idea… 

Jensen: "what would talia say to this outrageous suggestion?"

Talia at that moment enters the cave and into the room…

Talia: "i would say that if you guys want to do that it can be done and this way no one feels guilty and no one lives without what they want…"

You were watching this little conversation take place you had to make sure that you were not missing any of the key points before you jumped in with your own opinions… 

YN: “let me see if i understand this correctly if i marry Jensen through the league i can be with both of these wonderful men in 2 very different ways of life?”

Talia: “that is correct, i know that everything right now seems like its moving at high speeds and not making much sense but its not gonna get any easier with my father still thinkin he has Jensen under his belt… it will have to be something that you 3 will have to adjust to…"

You look at both Dick and Jensen, you have that look in your eyes… you await for them both to say something…

Dick: “as long as YN is happy she has the power to control her own destiny…. That means that we need to work a schedule out so we know who will be by her side and when…”

Jensen: “plenty of time for that buddy… right now the most important thing i have to ask is: YN how do you feel about this entire thing?”

You had to take a few deep breaths you couldnt make sense of any of this, you were still processing… you were not sure what to make of this situation…

YN: “when do we begin?”

Talia: “by celebrating the start of all hallows eve with the league ceremony… midnight at the league stronghold just outside of gotham… this will connect all 3 of you together but only Jensen and YN will be the main participants of the ceremony… Dick you will be there as the third party play to the other side of YN’s emotions… everyone else yes can be there too but im gonna tell you this, it will be hard to witness…”

Bruce: “alright everyone lets make preparations for this to go smoothly… Jensen, Dick, YN why dont you all stay here for now, at least try to relax, maybe talk…”

You nod watching everyone else walk away and out of the cave leaving you, Dick and Jensen alone… discussion rolled out between Dick and Jensen trying to make a schedule on when you would be with who was getting a little annoying… 

You occupied your mind into a state of relax, knowing that what lay in store for you was your destiny of being with 2 of the greatest men you have ever had the pleasure of knowing… this was your destiny, this was to be your eternity...