#also ​it somehow escaped my notice for twenty+ years that they're gay

[frogayyyy]

yoooooo pet shop boys fan

YES‼️ i love them <3

[guessmonsta]

It's Tendou and his s/o's first Christmas that they're going to spend together at his parent's place and Tendou is super nervous because his whole family is just straight up fucking WILD and he's more afraid that his s/o won't like his family more than he's afraid that his family won't like his s/o, because who's he kidding, she's an absolute gem. Just a cute little scenario for the holidays :) I'm so glad you're back my patron saint

Hi my alias is Bee and after being gone for nearly half a year I’m back and swinging with a 5,000 word Tendou fic yes’m (Also there are a bunch of family head-canons in here for example- Tendou has two sisters and one of them is gay because why not right it’s 2017)

Also Merry Christmas Eve to all you nerds who celebrate it!

Satori stood at his bathroom vanity with his head in his hands. The sink had been running for a while now, unused, because he was far too lost in thought to even realize it was still running. His hair gel was open on the counter, and his toothbrush sat prepared right next to it. He had to get ready, he knew he did, but he was unable to do anything besides stare at himself in the mirror, his vision blurry and skewed from not blinking since he had spaced out.

He must’ve been standing there for a while, minutes, even. The background noise that the running water provided threw him further off loop, and it wasn’t until the bathroom door opened and slammed into his back did he realize that __ had been knocking. When the door knob collided with his spine, he yelped, his hands flying from his hair to the vanity in front of him. It took him a moment to process what had happened before he could compose himself. In the mirror he saw his girlfriend’s face, pale and terrified, but washing over with relief when he made eye contact with her through it and smiled sheepishly.

“Satori, I was knocking forever.” She sighed, stumbling into the bathroom and hugging him from behind. “You worry me sometimes, you idiot.”

“I know, I know.” He had somehow managed to push out a fictitious laugh, and stood up straight. Now that Satori could finally look at himself properly, he noticed that his eye bags were a lot darker than usual.

“That was a really fake laugh, hun. Are you sure you’re okay? If you’re tired or anything I have no problem just pulling up a map to your parents place and driving, if that’s what you’d like.” Hearing the mentioning of his parents place made Satori’s heart stop all over again. That’s what had started his panicking in the first place– The Holidays.

It had been established for months that this was going to be the first Christmas that Satori and __ were going to spend together. In years past they had either parted their ways to visit their respective families, or had just spent it together in the comforts of their own apartment. Although, this year, __ had insisted that they visit Satori’s family. He had met hers before, on countless occasions, actually, but she had never gotten an opportunity to meet his. It wasn’t that Satori had any problem with his family meeting __, she was incredible, he knew without a doubt that they would love her. It was quite the opposite, really. It was a miracle that she put up with him on a day to day basis, but there was no way that she could ever tolerate the likes of his family.

Satori placed his hands on  __’s and gently pushed them away. She shuffled up next to him and sighed, taking his face in her hands instead.

“You look worried.”

“I am worried.”

“Oh?” She smiled, kissing him gently on his lower lip. “Am I really that terrible? Is your family gonna hate me or something?”

“Yeah, absolutely filthy. I can picture their disgust as we speak.” He joked, rolling his eyes and kissing her back. She let out an amused huff.

“Really, Satori, tell me whats wrong. You know you can’t keep shit from me.”

“Unfortunately.” He released himself from her again and grabbed the gel off the counter. He figured if he was just going to stand around, he might as well get ready. There was no escaping this situation, now.

“__, if I’m being honest with you, my family’s a mess.” He sighed, running his gelled hands through his hair. “If we had a sitcom, it would be called, “Terminate The Tendous” ‘cause we need to be stopped.”

“Please.” She hummed, “I doubt you lot are that bad. You’ve met my family before, there’s no way you can get worse than that.”

“Please, you.” Satori finished gelling back his hair and ran his hands under the water, scooting past __ to dry them. “Compared to mine, they’re nothing.”

“Care to tell me what’s so bad about your family? Are they like, serial killer bad or, Aunt Mina has a pinterest addiction bad?” She asked, moving out of Satori’s way as he positioned himself in front of the mirror again.

“Both, but not really both at the same time?” Satori shrugged. “Ah, listen, I’ve dreaded the day that I’d have to tell you this, but I think it’s about time that I’ve told you about them.” He said, in the most pretentious storytelling voice he could muster. She laughed at this, smiling up at him through the mirror.

“Dude, finally. What have we been dating for, five years now? We have our own house plants together but I don’t even know your mom.”

“House plants don’t talk back.” He muttered, barley loud enough for her to hear.

Satori took his time brushing his teeth, __ sitting on the covered toilet seat waiting for him to finish. She looked adorable, he thought. She was wearing a dark green velvet dress that flattered her eyes, her hair in soft curls around her shoulders, bangs being held back with a black hair bow. She was the image of pureness that his family devoured.

“So, I have two sisters, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, the oldest follows me on Instagram, I think.”

“Gre-eat. That would be Hana. She’s five years older than us, and three years older than my other sister, so she’s pretty much always thought she was the absolute shit.” Tendou sighed, trying to talk and adjust his dark green tie, to compliment __’s dress, at the same time. “That, and she happens to be the tallest in the family.”

“Taller than you?” __ gaped, looking up at him from the toilet seat. “How? And why? Can a sister lend me some?” Tendou smiled at this, although it was bitter.

“Never tell her that, please. She’s 6’5, and if you’ve ever seen any of her pictures, she looks pretty normal, but that’s only ‘cause she’s standing next to her husband, who’s 6’11. By the time I was in first grade, she was in fifth, and we barely crossed paths unless she was outside for lunch, and I was at the playground, or something. She had reached 5’2 by then and since I was me, a disgusting little mushroom boy–”

“You were not a disgusting little mushroom boy.” __ interrupted.

“I was a disgusting little mushroom boy. Anyway, she would always scope the playground to see if kids were bullying me and would throw them into the wood chips if they were. You would think people would stop messing with me since I had fucking Goliath following me around, but nah, being protected by my older sister made me even more susceptible to bullying, I guess. But yeah, to this day she still thinks she’s my actual Lord and Savior, so expect for her to examine you until your ears bleed, I’m sorry.”

“She sounds awesome, hun. I think her and I are gonna get along just fine.” She laughed, and Satori grimaced.

“Ye-eah, I’m sure you will.”

“What about your other sister? Is she as bad too?” __ added, sarcastically.

“Worse.”

“Worse? Oh no, don’t tell me, she works at an animal shelter, right? Donates to the church? Helps starving children in third world countries?”

“Harhar, very funny.”

“Thanks!”

“My sister, Aya, is her name, was a wrestler in high school. She went to a different high school than me and Hana, at birth she had somehow dodged the Tendou family gene of creepy ass eyes and permanent scrawniness, so I think she kept her distance from us ‘cause she didn’t want to be known as related to us, y’know.”

“I doubt it, Satori. And could you stop being self deprecating?”

“Never. But, she was, and still is, this really pretty girl, y’know, always looks really well put together, but the moment she opens her mouth– it’s hard to tell the difference between her and some fifty year old guy at a bar on Friday night.”

“Quite the analogy.” __ added.

“I’m not joking. She’s horrible. You think I don’t have a filter?  She’s been kicked out of public places more times than I can count on my two hands. She was always a gem though. Despite being kind’ve an ass and pretty immature until her twenty first birthday, she knew how to beat people up, and got like, a million trophies for it, so my parents never really said anything about it.”

“Y’know, Satori, you’re making me think one of your sisters is gonna have me in a choke-hold while the other asks me for my social security number.” __ laughed, finally standing up and helping Satori fix his tie. He hadn’t even noticed that he completely unknotted the thing.

“I won’t be surprised. I’m so nervous, __, I’m so sorry. Is it too late to cancel and just go visit your parents instead?”

“Yes, its too late! We already promised that we’d spend the holidays with your parents, and spring break with mine. Besides, they live six hours away from here, we’re not prepared for that.”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry-y.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry! I have a thick skin, you know! I’m not gonna die. Watch–”

Satori had zoned out from what __ had said next. He watched her as she fixed his tie, glancing up at him every so often and smiling wider. He felt his heart squeeze again. He hated to be overdramatic, he really did, but he couldn’t help but feel like he was throwing his beautiful, little beacon of light into a gladiator stadium, and his sisters were just the opening act.

“Satori, are you really that embarrassed of your family? If they’re anything like you, I’m sure they’re incredible.” __’s words snapped him out of his daze again. He shook his head, and kissed her forehead after she tightened his tie up.

“Honestly, I’m kinda being dramatic.” He shrugged, pushing __ out of the tight enclosure of the bathroom and proceeding to follow her out. “But they don’t know when to stop. I’m sure you’ll find Aya hysterical, her and her girlfriend both– but I know she’s gonna ask you all those weird-ass questions like-”

“Are you a virgin?”

“Exactly.”

“Please, I’ve been preparing myself for these questions since we first started dating.” __ scoffed, slipping on ballet flats over stocking clad feet at the doorstep. Satori sighed, leaning against the frame of the door. He watched her pick up the two carry-on bags, to which Satori hurriedly grabbed from her. She smiled up at him wordlessly for a moment, then shook her head.

“I’m gonna be fine, Satori. Oh! And I’m driving. I don’t want your nervous ass to crash before I ever get to meet your gem of a family.”

She threw a heavy pea-coat over her shoulders before shuffling out of the door, Satori close to follow. As she started the car up, he tossed the luggage into the trunk, then filing into the passenger seat. She already had the music going, one hand on the steering wheel with the other creeping towards his thigh. She winked at him, and for the first time today, he genuinely laughed. __ smiled, for that was her plan all along, and gave his thigh a squeeze.

“I can’t believe we’re going to meet your family and you’re the nervous one.”

“Okay, okay, I’m not as nervous anymore.” Satori interrupted, placing his hand over __’s. “Ju-ust slightly perturbed. How about that?”

“Better, I guess. You still have two hours to worry your little heart out.”

Tendou sighed, fluttering his eyes shut and leaning back on the car seat. A song he didn’t know the name of droned in the background, just loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough for him to focus on. To keep himself awake, he drew lazy circles into the palm of __’s hand, to which he heard her giggle about. He could feel his pulse in his neck, despite still being two blocks away from his own apartment. He had a feeling that this week was going to be a long one.

Satori promised himself that he would stay awake, but somehow he dozed off. __ said he was out cold twenty minutes after they left, which wasn’t odd, she said, many people crash due to stress. Satori had a hard time believing that, though. If anything, he expected himself to be puking out the window once they hit the highway. They were ten minutes away from his parents, now, and Satori was fixing his hair in the small overhead mirror of __’s car.

“Sorry I wasn’t awake to bother you.” He said, out of the blue. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw __ shake her head.

“It’s fine, it gave me time to lip-sync along to the Arctic Monkeys without being made fun of.”

Satori would’ve responded to her comment much faster, if it weren’t for the fact that __ was taking the exit straight towards the small town he grew up in. A nervous, agitated groan left him the moment she started down the road that lead towards his neighborhood.

“Does being here regurgitate bad childhood memories or something? Or do you really just hate your family?”

“Both.”

“You’re gonna have to take me to Shiratorizawa while we’re here, or at least drive me by the campus. That and like, Wakatoshi’s old house. Maybe even Tooru’s, too.”

“Oh, it’s that a little creepy, __ dearest?”

“No! I’m just saying, I’ve never been around here before, I wanna know how you and all our friends grew up, that’s all.”

“It’s literally nothing special, it’s farm, more farm, small convenience store, high school, farm, farm, bigger high school, convenience store. It’s like this for about ten miles.” __ laughed. She grew up further up the coast, and when they first met, she told him that she had “never seen a pig in person.” Satori made note to take her to see one of those while they were out here, too.

Ten minutes had passed quicker than Satori preferred. Before he knew it, they were pulling into his neighborhood, and with each turn __ took, the more and more anxious he got. He didn’t mind vocalizing his anxiety, either, sighing melodramatically each time the GPS blurted out another demand.

“Y’know Satori, this would be a lot easier if you could just tell me which way to turn to get to your house.” She added, lowering the volume without even looking at her device.

“I know, but I don’t wanna.”

“Whelp, seems like you don’t have to anymore.” She laughed, stopping almost abruptly and taking a sharp turn into a driveway, his driveway. He whined, sinking lower into his seat and covering his face with his hands.

“__, please don’t do this to me, my beautiful little angel baby, you’ll get torn apart in there.”

__ said nothing in reply, kicking her car door open and kissing Satori on his forehead, the softness of her lip balm leaving an imprint.

“C’mon, ya big baby. I’m sure your parents are waiting.”

Satori nodded, unbuckling himself and hesitantly exiting the car.  __ was waiting for him, so he took her hand in his own, and walked her up the pavement towards his doorstep.

Before either one of them could even reach the door, however, it had already been slammed open, incoherent, excitable female voices ripping through the house. A brunette woman popped her head out and gasped, then all but screamed as she darted out the door into the snow in sock clad feet and straight for __. __ almost yelped as she was suddenly picked up by the woman, who was taller than her by a foot, at least. She couldn’t quite tell what the woman was rambling on about, but out of the corner of her eye she saw Satori blushing profusely into the palm of his hand, shaking his head and waiting for whoever this woman may be to put her down. All __ could do in that moment was hug the woman back, despite not even knowing her. She had to be one of Satori’s sisters, or at least she assumed so. At first glance, __ saw that she was a tall woman, not as tall as Satori, but she was up there. She had tumbling brown hair that fell down towards her waist, and when __ placed her hands on the woman’s back, she realized she had quite the muscular build. She figured it had to be Aya, she fit Satori’s description quite well.

When she was finally set down by the woman, __ noticed her eyes. Like Satori said, they weren’t as wide, or tired as his, they were almond shaped and beautiful. They were light green and complemented the freckles on her cheeks.

“Oh my god, you’re so adorable.” Aya was beaming, her hands traveling from __’s back to her shoulders, then eagerly grasped __’s hands. “I’m Aya, Satori’s older sister, it’s so nice to meet you, sweetheart.”

__ giggled and shot a glance up at Satori, who was shifting his weight from leg to leg awkwardly in the corner. It shocked him to see her smile, genuinely, and not out of sheer nerves.

“I’m __, it’s really nice to get to meet you after all this time, Aya.”

“Oh, this little idiots been talking about you for years.” Aya rasped, shuffling over the snow to pull her brother into a choke-hold momentarily. “You wouldn’t believe the things that came out of this kid’s mouth before y’all were even dating.” She laughed, ruffling with Satori’s hair before pushing him away, then pulled __ into another hug. She heard Satori sigh, then mutter something about getting the bags from the trunk. Aya paid no mind to it, and lead __ into the house, never losing her grip on the former’s hand.

The moment __ stepped foot into Satori’s house, she couldn’t help but smile. It was very his taste, she thought, from the murals of mountains of the walls to the several misplaced christmas lights hanging across the staircase, it wouldn’t be very hard for her to classify this place as ‘Tendou’.

Aya had lead her into the kitchen, next, exclaiming at the top of her lungs to, “Look at Satori’s girlfriend!” __ felt her cheeks warm up slightly, the exposure not necessarily agitating her, but definitely embarrassing her. A woman with short brown hair examined her next. She had the same, sleepy ruddy eyes as Satori had. __ noticed her eyebrow quirking upwards in the same way Satori’s did when he was examining something, and she found it hard not to call it cute. __ also noticed that nobody else in the house was red-headed like Tendou was. The middle aged man and woman standing by the stove, presumably Satori’s parents, we’re both brunettes, as well as both the sisters, despite who __ thought was Hana, whose hair was a bit lighter than the rest. Despite that one key factor, they all definitely had a familiar resemblance. __ couldn’t help but smile.

“Hi, uhm, I’m sorry. Satori’s still outside ‘cause I was kinda mauled.” __ stammered, and Aya laughed, her free hand slapping her on the back. “I’m __, it’s really nice to get to meet you guys, finally.”

Everybody had gotten up on their feet, and came over to the place where __ stood. Satori had come back with the luggage, and shuffled over to __’s side. He protectively nudged Aya out of the way and replaced her hand with his own. __ looked up at him for a moment, a smile toying on her face.

“They’re great.” She mouthed, before his mother pulled her into a hug.

Satori watched as his mother started talking her ear off, and he started blushing again. He knew tonight was going to be too long– full of repressed memories and everyone taking a stab at him to see how embarrassed he could get, and how fast.

Meanwhile __ found herself being crushed in another grasp, and wondered how everyone in this family had such strong forearms.

“Satori’s so in love with you…” His mother muttered into her ear, and for some reason, despite knowing this for years, __ felt herself get fuzzy. She merely hummed, not knowing how to reply.

“You really make him so happy… when he talks about you I swear I’ve never seen him happier, except for maybe volleyball in highschool, but that’s a different story.”

__ laughed, breaking the hug with his mother and giving him a look. He was talking with Hana, now, who really was as tall as Tendou said she was. Although, she noticed he kept sending her nervous glances every so often, as if monitoring the conversation she was having.

“It really is a pleasure to finally get to meet you, Mrs. Tendou. I really wanted to meet you before, but Satori was more nervous about me meeting you lot than I actually was.”

“Oh of course he was, that little stinker.” His mother shook her head and smiled fondly, first at __, then at Satori. “And please, don’t call me Mrs. Tendou, call me Mom.”

Satori was deep in conversation with Hana, at this point. She was asking him how school was going, how paying rent was going, and everything in between about being an adult. She hadn’t asked any questions about __, yet, but he supposed she was saving those for later. There was a moment of brief pause in their conversation, and that’s when Satori heard it, the mom comment. Suddenly his heart stopped, and Hana must’ve picked it up too, because she laughed under her breath and nudged him in the ribs.

“Oh… my go-od…” Satori muttered, slinking up to __’s slide and throwing an arm over her shoulder.

“Hi Mama.” Satori butted in, throwing his other arm around his mom and kissing her chastely on the cheek.

“Hi honey! I was just talking to your angel of a girlfriend over here.”

“I know.” He muttered through clenched teeth. She shot him a knowing, motherly look, then patted him on the back.

“We’re having dinner in ten minutes, why don’t you two go throw your things up in Satori’s old bedroom? Just so it’s out of the way for later.” His mother suggested.

“On it.” Satori nodded at __ to follow him towards the front door and the stairs, but he noticed that Hana had stretched a leg out to block the hall.

“Need any help?” She said, just sarcastically enough for it to pass as a nice gesture. “Y’know, at least one of you looks like you’d need help.”

Satori knew exactly what Hana was going at, and he hated it. He shot her a look, then glanced over at __, who had picked up on her all but selfless gesture as well. Instead of shooting a witty response back or defending herself like she always had with Satori, he was surprised to watch her cover her mouth, then laugh. This must’ve caught Hana off guard, too, because she stood up straight in the doorway and silently went to pick up a bag from the mudroom.

“That wasn’t all that funny.” He said, nudging __ in the hip once Hana was up the stairs.

“I know, it wasn’t, but that’s such a you thing to say?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I dunno. You. Your sense of humor, your way of speaking. I absolutely love it.”

The ten minutes had come and gone. The bags were placed in Satori’s old bedroom– not without being relentlessly teased about the anime posters hanging above his bed, though. Hana thought it would be funny to show __ just how many figures he had stock piled in his closet, to which __ didn’t really mind. Hana was doing it to tease her, really. Asking her questions about the weird habits Satori has, and how she deals with it. Poking fun at his appearance just to see what __ would do. (In that point in time, she just dismissed all the nerdy things she teased him about and shook her head obviously when Hana mocked his appearance.) It really amused Satori, how Hana could be so protective about him when it came to other people teasing him, but absolutely ruthless when it came to her teasing him herself.

Sitting at the dinner table, Satori found it harder to eat than usual. __ was doing just fine, though. She was having an offhand conversation with Aya in between bites of a roll, covering her mouth with her hand politely as she spoke. If it weren’t for the drastic physical differences between __ and the rest of his family, a stranger would’ve thought that this was __’s family, and Satori was the awkward boyfriend.

The rest of the conversations at the table fell quiet, everybody focused on their own thing to actually slip a conversation through. Well, that’s what Satori had thought, until Aya cleared her throat and, slowly but surely shouted, “Satori? When are you gonna pop the question already?”

Satori stiffened in his seat. If he didn’t have an appetite before, he definitely didn’t have one now. He noticed __ tense up too, covering her mouth with her hand and averting her eyes from the table to her lap. Yes, this was what he had been afraid of.

Aya’s girlfriend hit her on the arm. “You can’t just ask that at the dinner table!” She hissed, only for Aya to shrug

“I do what I want. The kids a keeper. I mean, just look at her.

__ didn’t look so great in the moment, though. Her eyes were blown wide, darting everywhere besides the faces of his family members.

“Aw, she doesn’t look too great.” Hana chuckled. “Does that mean that she doesn’t want to get married?”

Satori didn’t know whether to tell off Aya, Hana, or get his mom involved. He would’ve gone with his mother, but she looked amused, almost as if she was going to throw in a comment of her own. His dad couldn’t care less– this was the type of situation he’d call, “Lady Talk.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to get married to Satori.” __ added, uncovering her mouth. “It’s just that you guys rea-ally have a knack for saying embarrassing things at embarrassing times. Jeez!”

“You sure that’s all?” Hana teased.

“Yes, that’s all. I get that you guys are all real protective of him, with his past and him being the youngest and everything, but I can assure you that I’d never do anything to purposefully hurt him.” __ shrugged, leaning over in her seat to peck Satori on the cheek. “And for the record, we happen to get along ‘cause I’m a nerd too, so your plan to embarrass him kinda failed. There isn’t much that we haven’t shared with each other… ah… I hope that answers some of your other questions, too.” She winked at Hana, who’s smirk had faded into a dumbfound frown.

It was Satori’s turn to flush red now, he couldn’t bring himself to look over at his girlfriend, and only focused of Hana’s face. He was expecting another insult, or possibly a curse, but all she did was hold her hand up slowly, and high-fived __ from across the table.

“Atta girl, that’s what I like to hear.” Hana shouted, slapping __’s hand just a little too hard for both __’s and Satori’s liking.

“Great, great. I mean no disrespect or anything towards you, by the way. I really respect that are aren’t careless about your brother decisions.”

“Really? Thank you! Aya’s right, pop the question!” Hana shot a glance at Satori, who had buried his head in his hands at this point. Satori should’ve known all along that he shouldn’t be worried about his family embarrassing __. He should’ve known that the tables would’ve turned right back on him.