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smokeybrand · 5 years ago

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Bad Manager

Story time. All this talk of Karens has got me reminiscing about my time in retail. Way back in the wild of my youth, before my chick and i really started getting heavy into out relationship and she mellowed me out, I was a manager at the most ghetto Gamestop in the greater Sacramento area. I actually got the job like i got most things back then; After an argument over Dragon Ball Z. That’s actually how i met my chick, and argument over DBZ, but i digress. I had a thirty minute debate with the assistant manager at the time and he immediately gave me an interview with the store manager. This is, of course, before i found out how sh*tty Gamestop corporate is in real life. In about a year, I worked my way up from seasonal part-time, all the way to Store Manager and i have a Karen story for each phase of my brief career.

Seasonal Part-Time: When you’re a part timer at the ‘Stop, you are basically house b*tch. They make you do the most mundane bullsh*t. Clean the bathrooms, take out the garbage, vacuum the stores, etc. B*tch sh*t. The most mundane task you have, though, is f*cking alphabetizing the goddamn game racks. I HATED that sh*t. it was tedious and f*cking stupid. Once, it took me my entire four hour shift just to properly arrange the PS2 rack. Sh*t was whack, son!

So i finish this sh*t early one day, probably about an hour and a half before i’m off, and this Karen comes in with her kid. He wants a PS2 game. Fine. This little asshole f*cks up the entire system because he can’t find his game. I kept telling the little sh*t that everything was in alphabetical order but he ain’t care. He’s an idiot. After about ten minutes of watching this bundle of cooties and Capri Sun ruin my hard work, i ask him if he knows what “Alphabetize” means and his mom blows up! She accuses me of being cruel and how i had no right to chastise her child and that she would have my job.Obviously, this dumb b*tch escalated the scenario and i had to get my manager. She actually demanded a free game because i asked if her kid understood the order of his ABCs.

Full-Time: Once you graduate to full-time, you get to be looked upon like you are a responsible individual and not house b*tch anymore. There’s usually new part-timers for that. I became third key, a person who’s basically management but gets no management pay, after the ASM who hired me, left. Everyone moved up a rank after that. I started getting opening shifts and sh*t. This is before i was disillusioned with work life and still applied myself for faceless conglomerate who see you as expendable numbers. Don’t worry, we’ll get there soon. Since i’m Third Key, i get opening shifts now. Still don’t do payroll or take corporate calls, but i do everything else management does. As such, thee are days when it’s just me in the store. I’m the proxy manager because the two others above me make too much hourly and it’s cheaper for me to act as management instead of paying actual management.

It’s, like, six minutes before the store closes. My pat-timer is winding down their ABCing busy work because corporate decreed it so. I’m closing out one o the registers and setting the alarm on the safe to open because that sh*t takes, like, 30 minutes and my ass wants to go home ASAP. We are breezing, man, and about to be out this b*tch in record time. NOPE! Six minutes, man. I remember very distinctly because i glanced at the little clock on the register. Six minutes. This wild Karen rushes my door with her four goddamn crotch spawns six goddamn minutes before lock up! They destroy my store. My part-timer and eye can only watch in dismay. all that work. all that prep. all of it, mute. The f*cked up thing? This b*tch ain’t even buy nothing. We were located next to a Togos.She had the audacity to walk up and small talk at me about how they were waiting for their sandwiches to finish and just needed to kill time.

I tell her that we were closing and she told me, and i quote, “Not with me and my kids in the store.” 9 rolls around and tell her we have to lock the doors and she’s like, “Go ahead.” I explain to her that i’m not legally allowed to lock up the store with customers on the premises. She looks me dead in the eyes and says, “ Well i guess you’re gonna get some OT tonight then, right?” I’ll never forget that sh*t. That was the first time i felt Retail Rage. I wanted to murder this b*tch. Straight up keelhaul this hoe and set her little monsters on fire. I maintained my composure and after about forty extra minutes, they left. I ended up finishing the close by myself because i had to sen the part-timer home. that’s ABCs, Shelving, closing registers, re-timing the safe, etc. I didn’t get ot of that store until about 11 pm. And had a morning shift at 7. All because a Karen turned my store into a waiting room/playground six minutes before close.

Assistant Manager: My Store Manager got into some sh*t with corporate and they fired him on straight BS. Probably time card fraud, i dunno. I do know he had been with the company for eleven years so f*ck em. I got bumped up to Second Key. Got a little it of a raise. Made schedules now, officially, even though i’d been doing that sh*t since i was Third Key. It’s fine. I can do refunds now and give discounts. I’m “The Manager” and, boy, do you hear about it!

Gamestop is about money. They never want to lose a sale. As such, we have a POS system that let’s you look up merchandise throughout the district. If we don’t have something, we can send you to another store that does. That’s how this story starts. I get a call from another store asking about a game. We have one copy left. They tell me to hold it because someone is coming to get it. Fine. Karen comes in a backpack full of trade-in to pay for this game and get a few extra credits for a birthday gift. Whatever. Back then, we had to test every game that came i. This b*tch had, like, 30. Fine. She also had an old, ratty, PS1. The rectangle ones. That was going to be an argument because she was only getting, like, four dollars for it. She kept gloating about how she got it at launch when she was young and what not. Motherf*cker was as old as Jesus. Also, it rattled. We found out later that was because there was dead roaches in it but that’s a story for another day.

I finish this ridiculous trade in; Tested all the games, made sure they read on both PS2 and PSOne. a few were too scratched to read so i had to run them through the disc cleaner and they ended up being viable after. I trade all of this sh*t in, and the b*tch gets upset when i tell her she’s walking out with less than a hundred in credit and even less than that in cash. She blows up on me, demands to see my manager. I tell her i am the manger, and she just starts going in. I immediately disengage and become visibly indifferent because, if i don’t, i would have beat that b*tch up in front of her children. Like, straight up curb stomp cunts and sh*t. She berates me for being an hourly employee and how she makes more than i do the entire year in a week and all this other sh*t. She just kept getting more and more upset at the fact that i was indifferent to her bullsh*t. B*tch even drops the n*gga wit hte hard “R” a few times, like i didn’t notice. I maintain through all of this racist disrespect. That ain’t what she expected and it definitely wasn’t the reaction she wanted. She demands the corporate number, takes all her games, leaves the Sony RoachMotel, and storms out. I get written up a week later for being an asshole to the customer. I literally just stood there while she turned bright red racist hulk, all over my person, but i’m in the wrong. Okay, Karen.

Bad Manager: My Senior ASM quits because Gamestop is on that bullsh*t so now i’m big man on campus. My DM is forced to promote me to acting Store Manager. Basically, i’m responsible for everything the actual manager does, but i don’t get paid what the manager i pad. It’s that Third Key bullsh*t but, you know, not. By now, it’s been about six months and i do not care. Full on disillusioned and well on my way to outright militant. That’s what Retail does to you. It slowly kills your joy and makes you hate people. I already hated people but this? This sh*t just effortlessly validated why. So it’s me and the other ASM in the store. I hire some regular to round out the staff an change literally everything about the store.

First thing to go was that whack ass dress code. I believe you do your best work when you’re comfortable so it had to go. The next thing i nixed was the ABCs. That sh*t was stupid and a waste of time. As long as the helves were neat, we were good. The next thing i did was spread the reserve and sh*t around. I held a meeting and everyone agreed that was best for the entire store. Numbers were met and no one straggled. Everyone got to keep their jobs and i didn’t have to cut hours. The last major change i instituted was letting staff play games, in store, during downtime. If everything was legit int the store and it was slow, go ahead, pop one of the used titles in a test station, and have a blast. I don’t care. Just don’t be a dick to customers because i don’t want to get hassled. I don’t want you to get hassled. No one wants t get hassled. The time that i was in charge of that store, our numbers were spectacular and we killed even the richest stores in the district. It’s dope how well a team works together when they have high morale ya dig.

One day, i get a call from my new Third key. He and his part timer, his wife at the time, were opening. I wasn’t scheduled to come in that day but he was hysterical. Apparently, this Karen didn’t like her trade in quote and called the f*cking cops. Sac PD was in my store, intimidating the sh*t out of my staff, all because this b*tch thought she deserved more than 20 dollar for her used Gamecube or some sh*t. I walk my ass all the way to work, on my day off, and diffuse the situation with the cops. I explain that prices are set by corporate and there was nothing we could do about the trade in value. I then ask way the f*ck they were even giving validity to this crazy b*tches allegations when she freely admits nothing of hers was actually stolen. Cops didn’t like my questioning their motives and hassled us for another thirty minutes but whatever. They left eventually. I left. The Karen left. The it came back.

This b*tch was in my store for a total of three f*cking hours, trying to sabotage every transaction throughout my Third Key’s shift. Eventually, he clocked out and left. His wife stayed for a few extra hours and this Karen b*tch took the opportunity to just assault her with insults. My part-timer maintained a strong facade. I was so proud of her, man. A lot of the sh*t said was very cruel personal attacks about my part timer’s heritage and status. She was a Ukranian refugee, came over to escape Russian aggression. Gorgeous chick, for real. Very funny. Very affable. Bluest eyes i’ve ever seen on a person. They were unnervingly clear and mad piercing. She was also dummy thicc. Like, she had that super stronk Snow Bunny charm. Let’s just say i made sure to schedule her for a full shift when the Madden and 2K reserves went live.

Anyway, the actual scheduled ASM just hid in the back room while this assault was occurring because he was weenie. Sweet kid, total puss. Karen was going in on how immigrants were the worst and that since she couldn’t understand my part timer’s accent she didn’t deserve to be in the country or have this job. She effectively called her a slut, several times, by insinuating she probably “F*ck your big black boss for this job.” My part timer endured for hours. When she took her break, she immediately called me in tears. She filled me in on the situation. I couldn’t make it back to my store fast enough, man. i blew up on this Karen. I called her out on her elitist bullsh*t, her classist ignorance, and the fact that we didn’t need her stupid f*cking business. I attacked her appearance. infantilized her entire lifestyle. I told her she was a depleted cum-dumpster jealous that my part timer was so vibrant with because her genuine shine reminded the Karen of everything you lost by being a suburban cliche. A middle class punchline. I banned her for being a toxic b*tch. She left my store in gross, sobbing, tears. No one f*cks with my crew like that. I got written up again.

The next day, i was on shift and the Karen bought her husband in to “speak” with me. Part timer and i opened and this big ass, corn-fed, white boy, walks in, bobbing his head around like a rooster. I’m half-sleep behind the register because insomnia, so i let my part timer do her thing. I’m over yonder, full Sith mode, Decepticon hoodie full cowl and bad attitude, wishing a motherf*cker would. And a motherf*cker did. This motherf*cker is right red, trying to assail my part timer, again, just like his wife did before.Speaking of Karen, she’s out front, pacing the entrance like a shark, expecting the fireworks her beau was supposed to bring. Not today, Satan. My part timer was standing her ground, using a lot of firm language, but this motherf*cker is big and i start seeing him using that size to intimidate.

I, immediately, physically step between dude and my part timer. He’s about three inches taller than i am so he presses my gangster. I pull back my hood, and tell him i’m the manager of the store but i can clock out and just be a n*gga in the street if he wanted the Smoke. He didn’t want the Smoke. I called him a b*tch to his face, his wife a cock-gobbling hoe, and his mother a slut. He still did not want the Smoke. He bailed. His wife started gassing on him for being a b*tch as they both shrunk away like the cowards they really were. Never saw either one after that. I didn’t get written up for that though. No f*cks given. Bad Manager life. Gang gang, n*gga.

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