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[between-two-fandoms]

Can you please do angst #9 for Juke?

Nonny I love you so much for requesting angst! I love writing angsty things so, so much asdjfkspaejesf! I totally got carried away while writing this but uh... I hope you like it!

See pinned post for masterlist of ask prompts. Please specify which list your prompts come from and what characters you want.

Angst 9. “Did it mean anything to you?/ Did I mean anything to you?”

cw: character death (afterdeath?), mourning, moving on, crossing over

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It’s been years since Julie had last seen her boys. They didn’t crossover, she knew that for a fact, but they tried to keep their distance after she graduated high school. She got into the music program at UCLA and she released her first solo album her freshman year of college, dedicating it to her family. She dedicated her second album to her boys, to her phantoms who were still haunting her long after she was supposed to have moved on. Julie was taking a break from unpacking in her new apartment, walking down her new block trying to familiarize herself with her new neighborhood in the heart of LA.

Then she saw him. 

Luke.

He was just sitting on a park bench wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and that dumb orange beanie looking exactly like he did when she met him when she was sixteen years old. Julie scanned the crowd around them, keeping an eye out for Alex or Reggie, but it looked like he was alone. A sharp pain twisted in Julie’s heart and she knew the other two boys must’ve moved on already.

Shoving her hands into her (technically Reggie’s, she stole it when she moved out of her old house) leather jacket and shoved her way through the busy pedestrians to the bench where Luke was sitting, bouncing his knee anxiously as he watched the lifers move around one another. “Hi,” Julie said softly when she sat down next to him, not knowing what to expect. They’d both changed since the last time they actually saw each other. She was taller, more confident in herself... Despite being seventeen forever Luke looked older. His eyes were darker, he no longer held himself with the boyish charm she’d fallen in love with all those years ago. Luke smiled at her but it didn’t seem... real.

“Julie,” Luke said, reaching up to gently brush his thumb along her cheek. Julie mirrored him, using both of her hands to place them on either sides of his face. They didn’t say anything, they didn’t have to, the words Julie wanted to say I loved you, why did you leave me? were better off left unsaid. She could feel it in her stomach, something twisting in her chest that she felt twice earlier that week.

“I - Julie we can still touch,” Luke said, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. Julie nodded, refusing to let go of Luke even though he let go of her. Luke’s hands dropped to her waist, gently pulling her closer to him. It’s been years, god it’s been four years since Julie and the Phantoms disbanded. 

“Luke I - did it mean anything to you? The music we made, the things we did? After I graduated my boys - you three just... disappeared,” Julie asked, unable to avoid the tears that were running down her face. Luke pulled her close, letting her fall apart with her face buried in his chest.

“Julie, did I mean anything to you?” Luke asked, his face pressed against the top of her hair. Julie nodded, feeling her hair scratch under his chin.

“Of course you did Luke, how could you think otherwise?” Julie asked, looking at him, rubbing her tears off her face with the back of her hand. “You brought me back to life. I never even got the chance to -” she cut herself off from saying to kiss you. Luke frowned slightly, his forehead wrinkling up as a result.

“We’re proud of you,” Luke said, filling the awkward silence that filled the air. “Reggie was really happy when you put Home Is Where My Horse Is on the album you dedicated to us.” Julie’s heart warmed at the knowledge that the bassist liked her arrangement of his song, of course she actually gave him credit for writing the original score unlike what Trevor did.

“He was?” Julie asked, emphasizing the past tense of the phrase. Luke nodded, his eyes full of an emotion Julie couldn’t quite place. Then, all of a sudden the realization dawned on her. “Oh...” Julie said, trailing off quietly, unsure of what she could say that would make Luke feel better. Luke held his hand in hers, running his thumb softly over her knuckles.

“It’s okay Jules we knew - we knew our time was up. They made me promise to see you before I went, to make sure you knew how we felt. Jules we never wanted to hurt you we just -” Luke said his tongue tripping over itself as he spoke only for Julie to cut him off by leaning forward and pressing her lips against his.

“Wow,” Julie whispered when she pulled away from him. Already he seemed to be fading away, flickering as he disappeared into a cloud of golden dust. “Luke I -” Julie started before Luke cut her off with another quick kiss.

“I know,” Luke said, looking Julie in the eyes. He tilted his head to the right, like he was trying to hear something Julie couldn’t then he grinned at her, pulling her in for one final hug. “Your mom’s saying she’s proud of you,” Luke said, running his hand through Julie’s hair like he used to do when she was upset about something. “We’re all proud of you Jules,” Luke promised, squeezing her hand as tight as he possibly could. Julie let her tears fall as Luke faded away, his unfinished business finally complete.