#alright look yes eddie and steve formally met SPECIFICALLY by eddie getting the drop on steve

[solarmorrigan]

It’s impossible to sneak up on Steve

Like, actually impossible

Dude has eyes in the back of his head. It’s some kind of mom superpower. (Or maybe it’s just the hypervigilance. Whatever)

Eddie first notices because the kids try to sneak past him a couple of times and he always catches them

He even calls them out by name. And he’s always right

Every single time

He catches Henderson trying to get a snack before they’re about to eat (not that Henderson particularly cares he’s been caught; he eats his chips without remorse)

He catches Small Wheeler trying to smuggle an R-rated movie over the Buckley’s side of the counter while Steve’s back is turned (not that Buckley would’ve rented it to him)

He catches Red and Supergirl both sneaking junk food into the cart while they’re out grocery shopping (neither of them are repentant, and Steve rolls his eyes but does exactly nothing about it)

Eddie’s interest is piqued

The first time he tries sneaking up on Steve, Steve catches him before he gets within three feet

How

“You jingle when you walk, Eddie.”

Okay, yeah, that’s fair

Next time, Eddie takes off his wallet chain and all his jewelry

Steve still catches him before he gets close enough to reach out and touch

“Your shoes squeak.”

Eddie’s pretty sure they don’t, actually, but fine. The shoes are next to go

And Steve still fucking catches him. Eddie can hear the goddamn smile in his voice as he says “Hi, Eddie,” just as Eddie is reaching out to grab his waist

“I could smell your shampoo.”

He could smell Eddie’s shampoo?

His fucking shampoo??

Alright, no, actually, that’s kind of sweet. But Eddie can’t exactly stop using shampoo, because then Steve will probably just be able to smell his hair grease or something. Eddie has to get creative, but he makes sure he’s not downwind of the AC vent next time

Yet Steve is the one who manages to ambush Eddie while Eddie is ambushing Steve, turning around and pulling Eddie right into him before Eddie can pounce, kissing him hard and quick, asking if that’s what Eddie was going for when he pulls away

Half dazed, half aroused, entirely frustrated, Eddie demands to know how the fuck Steve caught him this time, and Steve shrugs

“It just... feels different, when there’s someone behind you. The air, maybe? I dunno.”

Is this man even human?

(Given the general state of... everything, Eddie feels this is a legitimate question)

But Eddie isn’t one to give up once he becomes fixated, so he bides his time

He waits

And he waits

And he waits, until it seems like Steve is engaged in something distracting enough that he’s not going to be paying attention to how the room behind him feels, or however the fuck that works, and takes his shot

AND HE SUCCEEDS

He has to promise never to do it again, because his ribs are now bruised from Steve’s very surprised elbow, and Steve is mad and handing him and ice pack and bitching at him at full volume, but y’know what?

Fucking worth it