#alright ladies and gentlemen (and other) i'm gonna go and die

[kaythegayest]

Superhero/Villian Au

I'm was gone for a while, I would like to assure you that I didn't die.

Anyway, finalized character designs! (Let's be real, no one can read my handwriting. So I'll be translating everything)

Starting with the hero's,

Aviate- Sky

Hero: Danger level: medium-high

Crimes committed: justified murder, Minor vandalism, manslaughter

Facts:

-strict but kind, determined, outspoken

-friends with both Shade (see second panel) and Rogue (see third panel)

-out of all the hero's, he is the most hostile towards vigelates, believing them to be volatile threats to the public

-very defensive of the hero system

-favorite food is corn dogs

-engaged to Sun

-Calm under pressure

-has a pet parrot

What's in the pouch? A feather from his parrot, a red potion, hero ID, some rope (for restraining foes)

Power: Flight

Aviate's power is rather simple at first glance, but is very effective when it's used. Aviate, like the name suggests, can fly using holographic-looking wings, controlled by a combination of focus and arm movements. The wings largely follow Aviate's arm movements, however with enough concentration, he can move them on their own. The reason Aviate is the #1 hero, and what Makes it so powerful, is that it takes no endurance or stamina whatsoever to use. For example, Say he is chasing a criminal. The criminal is running as fast as he can, soon enough he runs out of breath, that's when Aviate swoops in, arresting him with little to no effort.

Shade- Time

Hero: danger level- high

Crimes Committed: 3rd degree murder, lawful vandalism

Facts:

- Sarcastic, irritable, collected,

-Rogue's (see third panel) mentor

-unlike Aviate, doesn't find a problem with vigelates, unless they get in the way

-knows full well the corruption of the hero system, but they do pay really well.

-Rather temperamental, but trys not to be

-has a annoyingly specific coffee order

-married to Malon

What's in the pockets? Anger Management medication, tape (for restraints), protein bar, Nokia phone (he needs a work phone that won't break), hero ID, pepper spray, Red potion

Power: Reactive Strength

Shade's ability builds off of his already powerful physical strength, and makes him stronger based on the intensity of his emotions. Rage is the best fuel for his power, multiplying his strength about ten times. However his power can be powered by any strong emotion. Doing as the fact that his power is emotion based, he needs to be extremely cautious with everyday situations, as anything could trigger his power. So as apposed to hurting someone, he elects to bottle up his emotions. Which makes his powers more powerful on the battlefield, however causes lasting problems with, and his mental state. He has prescribed anger management medication for when he needs to calm down, but he doesn't take is often as he's supposed to.

Rouge- Twilight

Hero: danger level: medium-high

Crimes Committed: manslaughter, battery

Facts:

-Loyal, protective, and decently petty

-is the only hero with permission to tamper interact with the evidence of a crime scene

-out of all the hero's, he is the most layed back about vigelates (and certain villains) leaving them with a warning as opposed to arresting them.

-Shade's protege

-(secretly) a mentor to Suspend (see fourth panel) and has a albeit shaky alliance with Thorn (see eighth panel)

-doesn't know the extent of the hero systems corruption, but knows enough to understand villains

-unlike the othe heroes, Rogue had 2 swords

-orders only basic white girl drinks at Starbucks.

What's in the harness? Latex gloves (no fingerprints allowed), a notebook, a pen, a Nokia phone (same reasoning as Shade), Empty bottles (storing evidence), handcuffs, Hero ID, health potion

Power: Tracking

Rogue has a more peculiar power, he has the ability to track someone down with dead accuracy using only something they have been in contact with. (ie: a piece of torn clothing, a left behind weapon, the persons blood, ect). He has gained the title "the bloodhound" with the media. Another thing about his power is whenever he uses it, he gets a almost feral impulse to hunt them. The strength of this urge is based on how close the person he's tracking is to his location. Rogue is scary because when he genuinely wants to, he can know your location, exactly what your doing, and how long it will take him to get there.

Vigelates

Suspend- Wild

Vigilante: danger level: medium-high

Wanted for: aggravated assault, assault, battery, obstruction of the law, theft, vigilantism, Minor destruction of property, disturbance of peace, Minor vandalism

Facts:

-Reckless, Easily distracted, Loyal, persistent

-Allies with Tetrad (see panel 5) and (friendly) acquaintances with Thorn

-Rogue's Protege, which gets a little complicated sometimes due to the whole your-entire-job-is-to-arrest-me thing.

-Became a vigelate when he realized that the heroes weren't protecting the poorer parts of town, so he decided to help the people the hero's weren't.

-he makes a very good vigelate despite his impulsive tendencies

-doesnt like coffee. Drinks monster energy instead. (Mipha does not approve)

What's on the harness? Stamina potion, climbing clips, (stolen) police radio, (stolen) taser, stun grenade. (He also has the rope across his chest)

Power: Time Manipulation

Suspend has a unique ability called time manipulation. He can slow down or speed up time around him while he remains at normal speed. This ability can be used for flurry rushes, sneak attacks, or even bullet time. Originally the media mistook his power for super speed which he had to correct the next time he saw a hero. There are two issues to his power. Not only does it sap his energy extremely fast, forcing him to carry around a stamina potion at all times, but also he hasn't completely mastered the power. He can't just slow down time whenever he wants. It's largely timing based, in the heat of the moment. The adrenaline rush allows him to temporarily unlock his power, but when the rush fades, he can't use it. he and Rogue are currently trying to figure out what triggers the power.

Tetrad- Four

Vigelate: danger level- medium

Wanted for: vigilantism, obstruction of the law, wire fraud, theft

Facts:

- subdued, rational, witty

-usually a loner but has a strong alliance with Suspend.

-prefers to stay out of the spotlight to avoid the hero's attention.

-he is very helpful to his community, fighting off criminals, walking drunk people home, ect. But comes off as more threatening then Suspend, who's more extroverted, when in reality he just doesn't want to talk. The community loves him nonetheless.

-when theres nothing to do on patrol, he reads. He's reading the Odyssey right now, or at least trying to. He has no idea what's happening.

What's in the backpack? Rope (restraints), flashlight, police tracker that notifies him about and where nearby crime is, his book, and thirty bang! snaps! (those little snappers you get for fireworks that you throw on the ground and they light up and are super loud. He uses those for stun grenades)

Power: Cloning

Tetrad has a rather unique power to clone himself a max of 4 times. these clones don't have separate personalities, and are more like to drones. He can use these clones as anything from distractions, to a extra pair of hands, getting multiple civilians out of danger. however, controlling multiple of these clones takes energy, so often times Tetrad will be exhausted after using them. He can't control the clones once they get too far away, so the moment he gets out of range, they'll just disintegrate. If a clone dies, he feels the effect, but very downgraded. If a clone gets burned alive, he'll get a blister. Stabbed? That might hurt a bit in the morning things like that.

Villains

Thypoon- Wind

Villain: danger level- high

Wanted for: first degree murder, third degree murder, manslaughter, destruction of property, disturbance of peace, criminal mischief, vandalism, aggrieved assault, terrorism, anarchy

Facts:

-reckless, charismatic, loyal

-Captain's (see panel 7) younger brother

-started being a villain mostly for fun, but then realized how horrible the system is and now he refuses to quit

-Captain doesn't let him drink coffee so he drinks fanta instead

- has a rivalry with Suspend after the vigelate told him he looked like he was seven. (He is not seven for your information)

-Allies with Hare (panel 9) and Thorn (panel 8)

What's in the pouch? Water bottle, smoke bombs, granola bar, device that send his location to Captain if he holds the button (wasn't his idea)

Power: Water Creation and Control

Despite his young age, Typhoon's power is terrifyingly efficient, the only consequences being dehydration, Typhoon can summon water, at will and can control its form, making it from a liquid to a gas or a solid. This can be used to make ice shields, changes in humidity, attacking with waves, drowning foes, water boarding etc. However, the more water he summons, the more dehydrated he gets. he will reach dangerous levels of dehydration, If not monitored.

Captain- Warriors

Villain: danger level- medium

Wanted for: arson, anarchy, kidnapping, manslaughter, first degree murder, second degree murder, third degree murder, destruction of property, vandalism, terrorism

Facts:

-Protective, Chatty, Sarcastic

-Thypoon's older brother

-Allies with Thorn(panel 8) and Hare (panel 9)

-friendlier then most villians, but that doesn't make him a good person

-actually never wanted to be a villain, but he found out wind was one, and decided "maybe if I'm out there with him he won't get hurt"

-Only drinks black coffee because he wants to look cool. He hates it.

-he talks when hes nervous so you could be fighting him and out of the blue he'd just say "your dog could be planning your murder and you wouldn't know" It doesn't happen often, because he's pretty good under pressure, but that's how you can tell he's actually anxious

What in the hoodie pocket? Athletic tape (he gets muscle pain), small knife, device that sends his location to Typoon if he holds down the button (was his idea), survivalist fire starter, gasoline in a bottle, red potion

Power: Paralysis

If he touches any part of you clothing included, then he can paralyze you temporarily, the closer he is to you, the longer you are paralyzed, the farther away he is the less time it takes for you to be able to move during paralysis, you are still fully conscious, usually he will pair up this ability with Typhoon's power, allowing the 2 of them to get hostages easier and more effectively. Their is no downside to his power and it can be used on multiple people. But the more people he has to paralysis, the shorter the paralysis lasts on the victims.

Thorn- Hyrule

Villain: danger level, medium

Wanted for: theft, first degree murder, third degree murder, kidnapping, manslaughter, destruction of property, Anarchy

Facts:

-friends and close Allies with Hare, Captain, and Typoon

-knows Hare's identity

-trys to avoid killing people, but it's occasionally needed.

-knows the hero system is corrupt, but doesn't blame the hero's for the state of the system since they can't control it.

- he likes vigelates, believing their everything the hero's can't be.

- He always feels guilty whenever he sees someone injured, so he'll toss a roll of bandages to them every now and again. Which is how he has so many Allies (some heros included)

What's in the pouch? Several bandage rolls, bandaids, medic kit, various packages of plant seeds, red potion

Power: Accelerated Plant Growth

Thorn carries pockets of seeds around at all times, while it seems like a weak weapon with thorns, power becomes a terrifyingly effective asset, Thorn can speed up, slow down, and control plant movement and growth. Just with a few scattered seeds, he can make a wall out of plants the size of a 2 story building.

Hare- Legend

Villain: danger level- high

Wanted for: theft, arson, destruction of property, first degree murder, second degree murder, anarchy, attempted murder, hostage taking, kidnapping, drug possession with intent, non-consentual drug use

Facts:

-Friend and close allie with Thorn

-knows Thorn's identity

-doesn't shy from murder

-believes the hero's themselves are corrupt

- picks fights with vigelates, believing them to be mo better then the heroes.

-has Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) (had to look it up)

What's in the cargo pants pocket? Stamina potion, candy, switchblade, rope, chalk (for hands), vials of anesthesia, a rag (for anesthesia)

Power: accelerated jumping and grip

Much like his ally, Thorn, Hare has a seemingly questionable power for villainy, until you see how he uses it, not only can he launch himself at foes, but he can also escape a crime scene very easily simply by going into a alleyway and jumping off building to building. He can get to people fast, or get away from them fast. What Makes Hare so deadly isn't his power, its his willingness to kill any, and all people who get in his way. He doesn't feel much remorse for killing people anymore. He's been doing this for year's.

[rubys-domain]

ladies and gentlemen and nons, it's time for

Doing every single domain* but only with x character/s 2: electric boogaloo

*not actually every single domain but that's not a catchy nameeeeeee

give it up for our guest star of the day: Lyney!!!!!

*camera pans to Lyney as the spotlight shines on him and he bows with a confident yet smug smile on his face*

let's see if this pretty boy can magic his way through all of teyvat's domains, shall we? ;)

(okay i'm dropping the tv show host voice now)

viridescent/maiden's - there were only 5 enemies so it was alright. not the comfiest clear by a long shot, but with better kiting skills than mine it definitely works

noblesse/bloodstained - hoo boy. despite the pyro abyss mage that i knew for a fact lyney had no chance of dealing with completely solo, i did it anyway cuz i'm the graystillplays of genshin players chongyun mains. and. yup. he died. and this is when i realized that an er sands would actually not be a bad idea for solo-ing purposes. since he gets that one stack from his burst, he can still go back up to full health if he ever drops below the usual 60% hp. of course the nre was still essential for me, but this trick definitely helped prolong his lifespan a bit. i did unfortunately have to use my other non-pyro teammates tho, i.e. barbara, candace, and lisa, all lvl >40 (again, i'm doing this to find the most efficient friendship farming strategy for domains). and of course they died too. but i beat the domain in the end. with the tiniest sliver of health on lyney. so yeah.

blizzard strayer/heart of depth - i has donned the er sands. and boy. despite the obvious loss in damage after giving up my atk sands, it was by far the most comfortable clear, despite having to fight a fucking abominable snowman. it's thanks in part to those little moments where the thing will sometimes just stand around not knowing what to do. it's not a slow connection thing it's just. idk, the movement code being wonky or whatever. (i'm not a game dev; don't come after me for not knowing game dev terms.) because of those, i had an easier time dodging, and also getting headshots in. i am not going to redo the previous two with the er sands (even i'm not that masochistic), but it definitely would've made those clears at least a little bit more comfortable

tenacity/pale flame - oh my god, that was actual pain and suffering. he literally died three times — it was awful. -20,000/10 would not recommend. unless you have some kind of shielder or resistance to interruption, these fuckers are a nightmare to fight

shimenawa/emblem - despite the electro abyss mage and his annoying electro ring thing, it was even easier than the blizzard strayer domain. goddamn

husk/clam - this... actually went way smoother than i thought it would. i did not eat a single healing food in this domain, and lyney still cleared it with full hp. his hats actually made for some decent crowd control so i didn't get corrosion as much. my teammates were all on life support tho, that much goes without saying. also that little healing trick with his burst helped a ton, especially now that he gets his burst back every two casts of his skill. the hat taunt + his skill + his burst let me get in quite a bit of aoe damage as well. he did not die once, i did not swap into my other party members the whole time. overall, i'm surprised at how well he can actually clear this domain. he might even be better than the bennet+kazuha duo here

gilded/deepwood - was pretty chill on account of not needing to hug the enemies like bennett and kazuha do. and also the er sands (ergo, way more burst casts) was enough to keep him super healthy without healing food

marechaussee/golden troupe - i mean this domain was basically tailor-made for lyney. so of course he's gonna clear it with ease. his damage wasn't amazing on account of er sands of course. but not needing to eat healing food constantly was nice and comfy. it was also fairly fun kiting practice: the meks aren't the fastest, so there's a decent size window to dash out of range of their attacks when they try to lunge at you. again, the taunt also helped them not come after me constantly. i definitely would do this again cuz i already use lyney to clear this domain anyway; might as well have him solo it and take freeloaders along to soak up the friendship points

[notsuchacleverboyq]

Why we aren't getting a canonically 00Q relationship any time soon

This is just a bunch of reasons I thought about.

IT'S NOTHING OF CONFIRMED, IT'S PURLEY A FAN THEORY.

1) The Audience

We for sure know that some decisions can be influenced by the profit that could derive from the movie.

00Q, being an LGBTQ ship, is something really risky for the producers. I'm sorry to say it, but it's unfortunately true.

007 is a vintage saga.

In fact, the first movie was made in 1962, with Sean Connery in the role of James Bond.

A lot of things changed through the years and with the new 007s.

A lot of people hate those upgrades that 007 universe met. For example, they don't like Daniel's character as much as they did with the first ones, or totally dislike the new Q because he's younger than the previous ones.

This would be the umpteenth innovation.

Being this a saga that goes on since 1962, we also expect the majority of the audience to be over fifty years old.

In my country, Italy, it is in fact like that: I honestly don't know a single person who's a fan of 007 without being older than forty.

Adding an LGBTQ couple in a movie, and it makes me really upset, is never something easy, specially if it is 007, where we've never seen such a thing.

We can do nothing but wait for the audience or the producers to refresh.

2) The Books

This isn't actually a big and really valid argument, but it has its importance in this.

Talking about plots, the movie that followed the books the most was actually Thunderball and some other Sean Connery's 007s I forgot the title of.

I actually read the book, you can trust me.

Eventually, the movies detached more and more from Ian Fleming's plots. So we don't actually need to worry about it.

We should be more worried about the characters.

Daniel Craig's James Bond is actually the closest to Ian Fleming's 007: he's got flaws, alcohol problems, he's a playboy, he gets constantly in trouble, he's a dickhead...

Ladies, gentlemen and others, this is Fleming's James Bond and it is a really big problem.

Why?

Because in the books he is everything but gay.

The majority of the people on this planet actually see James Bond as the most heterosexual living being to have ever existed.

They clearly haven't tried Tumblr.

But it is also true that other characters don't follow Ian Fleming's books.

For example, Q used to be like this:

Moneypenny was like this:

And now they're completely different.

So, it's not actually something we need to overthinking that much.

The point of all of this is that we have no hints telling us that Bond might actually be gay.

3) Bond and Q

Another tricky thing about this James Bond is that Daniel has already given the job to someone else. This means that there'll be another actor playing James Bond and that we won't have any 00Q relationship in No Time to Die.

Changing an actor is already challenging, I don't think that giving a couple to the audience right before choosing another actor to play one of the characters interested in the said couple would actually be smart.

Secondly, Ben is getting older.

Alright, he's just forty, but it's gonna get another ten years before the audience completely refreshes.

It's also true that Ben's characters look quite younger than he actually is.

HE WAS F*****G FORTY HERE.

We don't actually know how old Q is, but we know that the character is canonically young, considering Bond's reaction as he met him.

He might actually be around thirty or something.

(I've just made a random calculation considering how Ben managed to play a character that wasn't even twenty-five, while being thirty-two himself)

Which means that, in ten years, Q might actually look forty.

Anyway, we're not getting any 00Q until Q and the new 007 hang out properly.

4) Bond and Q's Sexuality

Here we go again.

I believe I've already said it a thousand times, but I'm gonna repeat it again: we have no hints telling us anything about Bond and Q's sexuality.

We basically go by sensations.

About Bond, no 007 before Daniel Craig had ever been shipped with a man, nor anything different from a woman.

Perhaps, except for Pierce Brosnan's 007, which I know is sometimes shipped with Alec Trevelyan.

We see Daniel's 007 fall in love with Vesper Lynd, but we could simply label this love as something Bond rushed himself in, being affection starving.

And then, there was Madeleine, which is tricky for 00Q shippers, since Q was already around at the time.

Why did he chose Madeleine if 00Q could actually be a thing?

He either isn't into to Q or he isn't into men.

In both cases, 00Q shippers will have an heart attack while reading the previous line.

But we haven't considered the possibility of Bond being an unaware bisexual with a preference for women.

In fact, the 007 fandom is formed by people who believe that Bond is straight and people that see him as either bisexual or pansexual.

But we actually have no hints telling us that.

About Q, honestly I just look at him and get instant gay vibes.

Even my homophobic dad is convinced that Q is the less heterosexual creature to have ever stepped on Earth. You can trust my dad.

Q's gay and you just can't unsee it.

5) Age Difference

This is another problem.

We don't know for sure Q's age, nor Bond's one.

But the fandom usually appeal to the actors' real age.

Daniel is fifty three and Ben is turning forty one thus year. So, we have a twelve years difference between Bond and Q.

For people, this usually is a way too big diversity, but actually my granny and my grandpa had thirteen years of difference.

But it becomes less of a problem in the moment we actually realize that we aren't getting 00Q before a new actor appears and plays 007.

The age is not a problem anymore, unless Q starts looking old and he eventually becomes the new Geoffrey Boothroyd.

[avatarofthebeholding]

Roughly In-Order Daedalus Playlist

(ft. a cover image from NASA)

1. “Spaceship” by Art Sorority (“Get-get-get inside your spaceship/You don't have a car, but you don't have to take this/.../You could really go, no one's gonna stop you (2x)/.../When I've had enough of dying in the day shift/I'll pack myself a pair of socks and get inside a spaceship”)

2. “An Ending (Ascent)” by Brian Eno (instrumental)

3. “Starlight” by Muse (“Far away/The ship is taking me far away/Far away from the memories/Of the people who care if I live or die/.../Our hopes and expectations/Black holes and revelations”)

4. “Antigravity” by STARSET - Manuela - (“Above the earth I am transformed/The energy has set me free/And pulled me through the galaxy/I've risen up beyond the sky/I am awake, I am alive”)

5. “Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space” by Spiritualized - everyone, but especially fitting for both Carter and Manuela - (“Ladies and gentlemen we are floating in space/.../All I want in life's a little bit of love/To take the pain away/Getting strong today/A giant step each day/.../And float in space and drift in time/All the time until I die”)

6. “Windowpane” by Mild High Club (“Leave behind/Just too delicate to/.../Things; they seem different/In my mind, we were experimenting/Life passes on the right/Still, life takes you for a ride/I just like to take a look for a while/It's such a pretty picture”)

7. “Nobody” by Mitski - Carter - (“And I don't want your pity/I just want somebody near me/Guess I'm a coward/I just want to feel alright/And I know no one will save me/.../Nobody, nobody, nobody/Nobody, nobody”)

8. “Hymn to the Pillory” by Nothing - Carter, Jan (a bit) - (“Watching pale moons disappear alone/.../I think we're far from home/And now you're free, let go/Jump into white unknowns/But I can't shake it, I can feel it in my bones/A pendulum hangs over me/Forever swinging violently, come down/Please come down on me”)

9. “Sleep Apnea” by Beach Fossils - Carter, Jan - (“I'm staring at the sky/But I can't tell which way my thoughts are traveling/I'm trying to listen to your words/But I can't feel my head and it's unraveling/.../Everybody's living or they're dead/And I'm still in my bed/And I don't have a clue/I won't lie/And tell you it's alright”)

10. “Patient is the Night” by The Blasting Company - Manuela - (“Clocked in 'til the work day is over/Time's a gentle stream, longer than it seems/Patient is the night/How I long to see her face now/.../I know she's never late, still anxiously I wait/Patient is the night”)

11. “stars burn out” by Lacunae (instrumental)

(among others!)

[wickedbarnes]

Guns and Roses (Pt. 1) | John Wick x Reader

Part 2

PROMPT: With Helen's passing, the infamous assassin, John Wick is finding ways to recover and find meaning to his life once again. It wasn't until he comes across the new flower shop downtown that he realized he will do whatever it takes to grip onto the tiny leverage of salvation that's wearing sundresses with flowers in her hair.

THEME: Non-Con. DubCon. Obsession. Dark!John x Innocent/Naive!Reader. Abduction. Lots of smut. Don't read if any of these make you uncomfortable.

NOTE: This is the newly reconstructed plot for Beauty and The Beast that I had put on hold for many weeks. I hope this makes up for the inconvenience I've made for putting that story on hiatus. In this fic, Helen Wick was killed rather than dying of an illness that's why John is taking it way harder than in the movies.

John remembers it like yesterday. It haunts him in his dreams every night, making it harder to fall asleep everytime. The bags under his eyes were the constant reminder of his sleepless nights. He doesn't even remember the last time he even slept properly. He only slept peacefully when he was with Helen. But now that she was gone, sleep felt more like a chore that he couldn't really finish.

A sigh had left his lips as he put the empty mug in the sink, deciding to just wash it later on when he gets home. Home. Is this even home anymore? John looks around the house that he had built specifically for Helen and him and noticed how gloomy it was despite how classy and refreshing it looked. It was empty and quiet and... and it lacked the energetic aura that it once had.

John closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He needed to stop moping around and finish his tasks for today. After Helen's death, John had found himself going right back into the world he had worked hard to get out of. What was the point anyway? It was all he had left. Might as well die working surrounded by his enemies rather than die alone.

But then again, he'd die lonely either way.

John solemnly got ready. It was Helen's death anniversary, he had to look his best. He got dressed in a fine tailored suit. A brown one, for a change. The same suit that Helen loved so much. John also made sure to pack an extra black suit on his way to the Continental. He didn't want to waste the day away by feeling down all the time. He knew Helen would be disappointed in him.

When his hair was gelled to perfection, John had packed his weapons and hoisted a pistol or two and some knives in their holders. After that, he was good to go.

John brushed his fingers against Helen's picture that was hanging on the wall before he got out of his house and locked the door behind him, walking over to his beloved Mustang that also had memories of Helen in it.

Flowers. He needed to get some flowers for her. He hoped there was a near flower shop so he wouldn't have to drive so far. The nearest one was an hour away from him and the cemetery where Helen rests. He wasn't in the mood for such a long drive.

But it seemed fate had taken pity on him. Because not long after, he had spotted a small flower shop that seemed as if it was fairly new. A fair amount of customers were inside and John decided to park his car on the side of the road before he turned the engine off and walked inside, the bell ringing as he opened the door.

The people inside looked up at him curiously, some seemed to know him and gave him a nod. Some of them were too scared to even acknowledge him.

John wondered where the staff were and his question was answered when a woman walked in carrying a bouquet of carnations with a soft smile plastered on her face before she handed it to an elderly woman.

"Thank you so much, my dear. You never fail to make the best bouquets." The woman's compliments emits a laughter from the girl that sounded so melodious in John's ear.

It reminded him of how Helen once laughed. But hers sounded more carefree and gentle.

"Anything for you, Mrs. Jameson. Do have a good day." The girl smiled and with that, the woman left and it was just her, John, and one of the assassins he had recognized from the Continental.

"And what can I get for the two gentlemen?" The girl asked and John heard the man beside him speak but he found himself tuning him out as he took the moment to stare at the girl who was wearing a yellow sundress. The assassin would watch her write down on her little notepad, taking notes of what the man beside him was asking her to do and what kind of flowers he wanted.

John watched her move around, noticing the little daisies that were tied around her hair. She pretty much looks like a fairy and the fact that she was much smaller and daintier than him didn't help either.

No, he shouldn't be oggling her like this, he's married!

A widowed man, you mean.

He had to bite back the groan at the thought. But instead, he gathered his composure and smiled down at the woman when she came back carrying the bouquet her other customer had requested.

"Here we are. Fresh tulips for you, sir." She happily handed the bouquet to the man who paid her generously and put some tip in her tip jar.

"Thank you, miss, they're beautiful and uh..." The man glanced at John and smirked slightly at him, "And do have a safe day. It gets dangerous these days."

The girl seemed to miss how the man looked at John with mischievousness in his eyes and John was kind of thankful for that because he didn't find it amusing at all.

"I'll keep that in mind, sir, have a nice day." The girl smiled and averted her gaze to the notepad she had as the man patted John's back before whispering quietly near his ear.

"Shouldn't stare too much, Mr. Wick." John looked at the man on his way out, ignoring the way how he taunted him by giving a two fingered salute.

"And for you, sir, what would you like to have today?" The girl's voice brought him out of his thoughts and looked down at her as she looked up at him patiently waiting for his answer.

"Oh, uh... daisies, please." He answered, ignoring how shocked he was with his answer. Daisies weren't Helen's favorite flower. But the girl seemed to beam at his reply and John smiled softly at that. Smile. It's been a while since he smiled.

"Nice choice, I like daisies." She said and wrote it down on her notepad, "Do you want the daisies to be mixed with something else?"

John thought for a moment and saw the tiny rose tattoo that she had on her wrist.

"Roses. Red, please."

The little fairy in front of him smiled and wrote it down on paper before she looked up at him, "These are good combinations, no one has made these one up yet, I haven't made them up yet to be honest."

"Well I guess I have a new profound talent now." John replied as a giggle escaped from the girl's lips.

"That, you do! The person you're gonna give this to is gonna be happy with them, I'm sure."

"I wish they were here to appreciate them."

"Oh, are they somewhere far away?"

He sighed, "Yeah, something like that. She uh, passed away."

Murdered, he wanted to say.

The girl's eyes widened and John could tell she immediately regret asking any questions but he didn't feel the need to take any offence.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know, I shouldn't have asked." She said apologetically but John found himself shaking his head and smiling softly, feeling patient with the lady in front of him.

"No, it's alright. It's been three years, I've moved on."

Have you? He questioned himself.

"Still. I shouldn't have been so nosey." She bit down on her bottom lip and gestured over to the chair behind John, "Please, sit! This'll take a while I hope you're not in any hurry."

"No, please, take your time." John would say as he took the opportunity to sit down.

John didn't want to oggle at the girl while she worked but he found it hard not to. She moved with such grace and poise it was as if he was watching a gracious ballerina dancing in front of a thousand audience. The sundress she wore flowed freely with her moves and the slight breeze that came in from the windows blew her hair softly until a tiny daisy fell from her soft mane and landed onto John's knee.

The assassin carefully took it and while the girl wasn't looking, he quietly placed it in the pocket of his coat, making sure he wouldn't lose it. And it surprised him why he was keeping it safe with him in the first place.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he heard her softly calling out to him. And John immediately stood up and walked over to the counter where she happily handed the bouquet in his hands and John took in how elegant yet adorable the arrangement looked.

"I made sure to pick out the prettiest red roses I had. I believe all of them had recently bloomed." The girl smiled and placed something on the counter and John looked down to see a tiny cactus situated on a small pot, "To make up for being so nosey earlier."

Innocence. John felt an overwhelming wave of innocence from her that it almost shook him to the core. Not even Helen was this soft.

Oh, God. Why was he comparing Helen to her?

"Oh, no, I can't take that. It's alright, I didn't take any offence." John would say and gently pushed back the cactus to her but she almost looked as if she was about to pout at him but instead, pursed her lips together.

"No, please, I insist. I feel guilty for even asking you such a personal question. Just look at it as my gift to you, you wouldn't decline on a gift now, would you?" John stared down at her for a moment and watched her take his calloused hand in her softer one and made him hold the small pot.

"It's rude to refuse gifts from people, sir." She smiled and pulled back and John suddenly remembered how Helen had told her the exact same thing back then.

"Oh, come on, John!" Helen whined and pushed the velvet box back to him, "It's your birthday, you deserve this!"

"But, honey, this must've cost a lot, you shouldn't be wasting money on me." John reasoned out and pushed the box gently back to her.

"Wasting? I'm not wasting anything, Jonathan, you're being ridiculous!" Helen sighed and grabbed his hand and made him hold the box, "John, please?"

"But, I-"

"No buts."

John sighed deeply and finally gave in when he saw the twinkle of hope in his wife's eyes when she finally realizes he's taking the gift she gave.

"It's rude to refuse a gift, John. Especially a gift from your wife." John playfully rolled his eyes and grinned at her.

"Alright, alright." He chuckled, "Thank you, sweetheart. The watch looks incredible, I love it."

"Oh, I know it is. But you're welcome, baby. You know I'd give you anything and everything."

"Thank you." John replied after he zoned out for what seemed like eternity. He hoped she didn't notice him doing so, "It's adorable, I love it."

"It is, yes. I wish I could tell you some tips on how to care for one but I wouldn't wanna keep you from your errands. Besides, a simple search on the internet would help you out anyways."

John looked down at his watch and noticed he had been here for about fourty-five minutes now.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'll be fine by here." He fished out his wallet and handed some cash to the fairy girl and dropped a fair amount of tip inside the tip jar.

"Thank you, sir. And have a nice day ahead!" She smiled and John could've sworn the twinke in her eyes made her smile even more breathtaking than it already was.

"I sure will. You too, doll." And with that, he walked out of the store and silently hoped she didn't latch onto how he had called her doll.

Hopping inside his car, John carefully placed the bouquet and his new cacti on the passenger seat and began to slowly drive to the local cemetery.

"God, why the fuck would you call her doll?" He asked himself, gripping the steering wheel a bit tighter, "And you didn't even ask for her name!"

John felt frustrated. But why? Why was he? Is it because he called her doll and possibly sounded like a creep? Or is it because he forgot to ask her name?

Why would he ask for her name anyway?

John shook his head and focused on the road ahead. No, this is Helen's day. He shouldn't he dwelling on a certain woman who reminds him so much of a dainty little fairy.

When he pulled up at the cemetery, John carefully parked his car and grabbed the bouquet before he got out and walked over to where Helen's grave was.

Upon seeing her name, John felt more at ease but the sadness in his heart never seemed to go away even until now.

"Hey, sweetheart." He greeted her and lightly brushed his fingers against the tombstone.

"I got you flowers." He crouched down and gently placed the flowers on the ground before he reached up and lightly traced her name that was engraved on the stone.

Helen Wick.

A sense of guilt coursed through his veins. This was the first time he brought a different set of flowers for her. These were red roses and daisies and he only got it because of the girl from the store. Because he reminded him of her not because it was Helen's favorite.

Helen's favorite were gardenias. Why the fuck would he even get these flowers in the first place?

John's frustration was slowly growing and he was almost close to throwing and ruining the whole bouquet itself but something stopped him from doing so.

"It never gets easy, Hel. It's so hard without you." He spoke softly.

And somehow, he began to hope. That maybe it doesn't have to be so difficult.

That maybe there was something more than just Helen.

And John couldn't help but think back to the girl from the flower shop that wore a yellow sundress with daisies in her hair and a rose tattoo on her wrist.

It wouldn't be too bad if he paid her a visit next time...

Right?

TAGS: @a-really-bi-girl @fanficsrusz @fairylightsandchai @pinkzsugar @edgiestwinter @paanchu786

[jesterjamz]

I'm not a scooby doo villain I'm just the entire rat movie script

Rats: Rats, we’re rats, we’re the rats! We prey at night, we stalk at night, we’re the rats!

Giant rat: I’m da giant rat that makes all of da rules!

Rats: Let’s see what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into!

Dick: So sue me for being thorough, I wanna know that you know what the plan is.

Trench Coat Man: Look, seriously mate, how many artifacts do we need to steal before you trust me with these jobs?

Dick: Well I just want to make sure you know what’s happening, we’re gonna get the treasure, we’re gonna get outta there and we’re als- stars mumbling

Blue man: HUAHAHA

Dick: And we must get it! That’s the most important thing. So be on your A game, we go now!

Blue Man: I get to drive the car today cuz it’s my birthday!

Dick: No don’t let him get in the car -uhh please don’t let-

Blue man: quietly come on

Dick: Oh he’s driving, whatever.

Trench coat Man: Bloody hell. Oi, more importantly, since when did we have a rat problem?

Dick: We don’t, get in. - Lets go, speed it up! Yeah that’s the speed i’m looking for, that’s the kind of fastness I want!

*cuts to the town*

Dick: I don’t even know where you’re going at this point, we’ve been driving all night.

Blue man: It’s my birthday

Dick: Hey you-you just- you’re running over a guy right now. He’s fucking serious?

Trench Coat Man: Can you remind me next time we do this, I’m getting my nan to drive

*Camera cuts inside of a cafe shop*

Clerk: Um yea excuse me sir, yea you over there dancing, it’s actually $10 to dance in this building so you’re gonna have to give me- we’re all gonna die!!!!

Dick: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury may I have the attention of the class. My name is Dick “Dastardly” Richard, and I’m here to take the treasure chest that’s in the back room! Go get it boys, I’ll follow you in. And let me tell you something Clerk, if you so as move a muscle, I’ll make sure you stay buried in that ground there, alright let’s go.

Dick goes into the Mayan Temple, the golden statue comes alive and follows him

Dick: Alright, gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme, is the treasure in there? Is it in there?

Trench Coat Man: Yep, it’s all here.

Dick: Ohhh yes! Now that’s what I like to hear. And now we are invincible!

Gerrard: Not so fast! You stand before Gerrard, Guardian of the treasure chest of the Mayan temple, and I will make sure to— hey!

Giant Rat picks him up and throws him into the abyss

Trench Coat Man: Ah fuck this, I’m off.

Gerrard: Hey wha- what are you doing?

Rats: We’re the rats. We prey at night, we stalk at night, we’re the rats!

Dick: Alright yea that’s cool yea I like rats, nothing bad with rats but let me tell you something, over my dead body are you getting this treasure -rats, rats, rats, rats, rats, rats-

Blue Man: Oh man look at that flock of birds over there that reminds me of my favourite movie, da movie! That’s your favourite movie too right?

Giant Rat: No my favourite movie’s frozen, I like Elsa and Anna, ok now I kill you kick

Blue Man: Wow that’s great pick choice for favouritist movie, I wonder if I have to think that now...

Small/Giant Rat: Now I get to be the giant rat cool surprise!

Camera moves back to the town where the police have arrived

Police Officer: So you’re trying to tell me that inside this building right here there is a giant rat, among other things giant pickles, did he say pickles? Or am I putting that in there by myself. Whatever, Sargent Pickles is gonna go in there and check it out we’re gonna make sure everything’s ok, and uh get me some candy corn too, that’s a weird request I know but just get it.

Camera cuts back into the cafe shop

Giant rat: You guys are gonna drop it and we’re gonna be in big trouble so quit prancing around- I hear somebody coming somebody- put it down put it down, hey get in! Hello, sir welcome to the rat cafe, there’s no rats here there’s just uh hamburgers.

Police Officer 2: Yeeah that would be real nice if that were true, except it isn’t, your a rat, aren’t you?

Giant rat: No no why would that happen that’s not we’re just ra- We’re just people.

Police officer 2: Man I’m gonna be taking you in an-

Jerma: You know wouldn’t this be funny it it were real? Haha just kidding. Be careful apparently there’s a giant rat around.

Giant rat: You have a good day officer

Officer leaves and Camera follows to the town

Police officer: So, ya figure anything out in there?

Police officer 2. Nah, he’s clean. It’s back to the drawing board.

Police officer: Well that’s, that’s great uh I don’t know how to draw so you’re gonna have to do the drawing.

Cat police music starts and the cat police arrive

Scritchy Scratch: Sergeant Scritchy Scratch of the cat police reporting in! You are now relived if your duty.

Police officer 1 & 2: gibberish simultaneous approving the cat police

Scritchy Scratch: Thank you, your duty will not go unnoticed. What’s that on you?

Police officer 2: What?

Scritchy Scratch: Are you wearing a rat on your shoulder?

Police officer 2: Why would I be wearing a-

The small rat drives into the cafe shop after stealing a police car

Small rat: Boss we got big problems! The cat police are here!

Giant rat: What are you kidding me right now cat police? Get us the fuck outta here! Ueeeh drive the car! Get us out! Let’s speed it up! Get us the fuck outta here! Cat police!

Rats: Inaudible screaming and yelling

Scritchy Scratch: Good job cat police, you did it again you saved the world, and that’s what we do as cat police, we make the world a better pl-

Camera cuts to space where Earth blows up and a UFO with a cat head is nearby

correct me if i’m wrong but didn’t jerma do this ueu

[chaosnightmare]

rats, we're rats, we're the rats. we prey at night, we stalk at night, we're the rats. I'm Da Giant Rat Dat Makes All Of Da Rules, let's see what kind of Trouble!! we can get ourselves into! So SUE me for bein Thourough i wanna know that YOU know what the PLAN is, look. i. seriously mate. how many arifacts do we need to steal before you trus me with these jobs? Well i just wanna make sure you know whats happening. We're gonna get the treasure, we're gonna get out of there, and what else. syhum s jmsh d j AHUHUH ndbf WE MUST GET IT! thats the most important thing so be on your A Game we go NOW

I get ta drive the cartoday cause it's my Birth Day. no don't let him get in the car i. Please. cmon!! he's drivin. whatever. Bloody ell. Oi. More importantly. Since when did we have a rat problem? We don't, get in. Let's go!! Speed it up!! YEAHHHHH THAT'S THE SPEED I'M LOOKIN FOR THATS THE TYPE OF FASTNESS I WANT

i don't even know where youre going at this point we've been driving all night. It's My Birthday! hey, you- you're just- you're runnin over a guy right now. whatre you fuckin serious? Ay remind me next time we do this, i'll get my nan to drive. Um excuse me sir? Yeah you over there dancing, it's actually 10 dollars to dance in this building, you're gonna have to give me s- AHH I'M GONNA DIE LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY MAY I HAVE THE ATTENTION OF THE CLASS. MY NAME IS DICK DASTARDLY RICHARD AND I'M HERE TO TAKE THE TREASURE CHEST THAT'S IN THE BACK ROOM. GO GET IT BOYS. i'll follow ya in. and lemme tell you somthin Clerk, if you as so as move a muscle, i'll make sure you stay buried in that ground there. Alright lets go.

Alrightt gimmegimmegimmegimmegimmegimme is it in there?? Is the treasure in there? is it in dere??? Yep. Iss awl here. OHohohoYES!!! Now that's what i like 2 hear!! and now we are invincible!! NOT SO FAST. YOU STAND BEFORE: GEROD. GUARDIAN OF THE TREASURE CHEST OF THE MAYAN TEMPLE. AND I WILL MAKE SURE TO BR- hey! :( !!Aw fuck this! I'm off! Hey wh. whst are you doing?? hey put WE'RE THE RATS. WE PREY AT NIGHT, WE STALK AT NIGHT, WE'RE THE RATS. Alright, yeah. that's cool! yeah i like rats, nothing bad. with rats. but lemme tell you somethin, over my Dead BODY are you gettin this treasure RATS. RATS. RATS. RATS.awww hey lookit dat flock a birds over dere! reminds me of my favorite movie: DA MOVIE. das your favorite movie too, right? noo, my favorite movies Frozen. I like elsa anfd uhhh okay now i kill you. ......Wow das great pick choice for favoritest movie i wonder if I have to pick that now.. .....Now i get to be the giant rat Cool Surprise

So you're trying to tell me that inside of this building right here there is a Giant Rat, among other things, Giant Pickles, did he say pickles?? or am i puttin that in there by myself, Whatever Sergeant Pickles is gonna go in there and check it out gonna make sure everythings okay, and uh Get me some candy corn too. that's a weird request I know but just get it. YOU GUYS ARE GONNA DROP IT AND WE'RE GONNA BE IN BIG TROUBLE. SO QUIT THRASHIN AROUND i hear somebody comin. somebody- PUT IT DOWN, PUT IT DOWN, Hey- k- get in!!! ....Helloooo sir!! welcome to Da Rat Cafe, there's no rats here, it's just uhhh Hamburgers! Yeahhhh that would be real nice if that were true. Except it isn't. You're a RAT. Arencha? No, no why would that hapeen? We're just- just Raaa we're just people. Anddd I'm gonna be takin YOU in. And youWOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF THIS WERE REAL? HAH HA I'M JUST KIDDING, ay be careful though! There's APPARENTLY a giant rat around! ......You have a good day officer. So, you figure anything out in there? Nah. He's clean. It's back to the drawing board. Well thats uhh thats great i dont know how to draw, so you're gonna have to da drawing- SERGEANT SCRITCHY SCRATCH OF THE CAT POLICE, REPORTING IN!! YOU ARE NOW RELIEVED OF YOUR DUTY. Absolutely sergeant, you hdjd shdvw djxvs dgdjs we'll be takin off now, hdis dhd sns dhd s THANK YOU, YOUR DUTY WILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. What's that on you? wha? Awe You Wearing A Rat On Youw Showder? why would i be wearing- WHAT DA FUCK- boss!! we got big probs!! the cat police are here!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW, CAT POLICE? GET US THE FUCK OUTTA HERE DRIVE US OUT LETS SPEED IT UP WE'RE GETTING THE FUCK OUTTA HERE NOT DEALING WITH THE CAT POLICE dje djd sh dhs d AYEE aayIEEE

Good Job, Cat Powwice. You Did It Again You Saved Da World. And Dats What We Do As Cat Police, We Make The World A BETTE

you all know how much i love doing shitty transcriptions of internet videos. who wants to see rat movies 1 and 2 huh??

[kaythegayest]

Boom superhero au stuff. I have school tomorrow so I'm going to do this relatively fast.

By the way, sorry this looks so bad, but in my defense it's like 2am in the morning.

The prompt was "this seems like a bad time to fall in love"

Did I make Midna work under dark link? Yes

was Midna tasked specifically to kill or kidnap Twilight? Yup.

Does this mean their are other people working under dink going after the others? You bet.

Is Twilight completely in love with this woman who's trying to kill him? Of course.

Would she actually kill him? Maybe?

I'm sorry but i just loves the idea of Midna trying to kill Twilight and Twilight just using the worst pick up lines because his brain short circuits every time he sees Midna. Bro her hair took me so long. It's painful.

Anyway here's a short fic for funzies

The air was a bitter cold, biting at his skin, whipping his hair around, clawing at his clothes, blowing it's cold winter frost up and down his arms.

Hylias sake, Twilight hated winter. He hated the cold, the thing where snow wasnt sticky enough and just made slush on the side of the road, he hated how the radio stations started playing Christmas music too early, he just hated all of it. If there was one upside it was that he had a excuse to stay in his house more days then not. Patrols were always shit though. Chasing criminals between alleyways, with the snow soaking through your shoe. Fucking horrible if you asked him. Sky of course, though winter was great. Thinking of hot chocolate and snowmen. Time however, the only other one in the facility Twilight ever talked to, agreed with him. Winter was overrated. Maybe Wild would have a new opinion on the matter. The kid probably liked the snow. Actually, knowing wild he was probably one of this kids who put rocks in snowball on purpose. Little sociopath. Twilight wouldn't trade his protege for the world, but being the number 3 hero and mentoring a illegal vigelate was- eventful to say the least. He continued thinking about inconsequential things, in a attempt to distract himself from the biting chill setting in his fingertips as he walked to his house. Abruptly, his train of thought was cut off as he was flung to the ground. His reflexes saved him from slamming his head on the concrete, but as good as his reflexes were, whoever had thrown him was better. In two swift movements, they were above him, crouched over him, and in the nest he was pinned to the ground, a boot digging harshly into his shoulder blade. He winced at the pain, trying to jerk out of his captors hold. But as as soon as they looked down at him he froze. She was gorgeous. That was his first coherent thought. She had dark russet eyes, complementing deep brown skin. Thick hair curled around itself twisting above him as she looked down with curiousity. "So your the one he sent me after?" her voice was tainted with disappointment. "Pity, i was expecting you to be a bit more-" a pause "competent." normally such words would have offended him, but as he was, he was trapped in the hypnotic vortex of those eyes, sparkling with a deep mischief. There was a prolonged silence as Twilight's deconstructed brain tried to form some semblance of any word. She shifted slightly uncomfortable with the tension in the air. "Well? Say something!" she demanded she paused with a slight chuckle at the man's awestruck face. "Or am i too beautiful that you've no words left?"