#already getting the 'you.' treatment icb

[bhaalvolent]

you.

" whatever you're here to accuse me of, i probably didn't do it this time— "

[the-uptake]

Other Kin

The Uptake, With Symbiotic Self-Indulgence. Book III, Chapter Six. Go to previous. Go to next.

TW: Bombing discussion newscasts, major permanent disfigurement, hospital loiterings, and ICU and life support stuff.

In other, I think I’m funny.

“--containment efforts throttle into full tilt to secure the lowest levels of the city. Extreme heat and radiation have thus far thwarted imaging attempts, to assess the full extent of damages thus far. City Council is meeting with the EPA and FEMA as we speak, to discuss fully capping the quarantine walls, and utilizing what was already built two years prior, to form the base of a containment for the melted fuel.”

‘Choly squinted at the screen with too little energy for exasperation. He’d moved back into the waiting room to watch one of the televisions mounted from the ceiling, to preserve both his battery and data. Without his glasses, he couldn’t see the time, and he checked his phone when the television screen caught sunlight from the wall of windows behind him. Nearly eight. Slag, the last time he’d looked at a clock with the intention of catching the time, it had been just before eight the night before. And he could tell it was going to be a long time before he could come close to getting any rest. Maybe he’d get lucky, and when he finally found Cecil, they’d have a second bed, or at least a soft chair... He sighed through his nose and squirmed in his seat, his butt having fallen asleep.

“--and be sure if you see someone who might be a Stalker, to avoid them at all costs, and report them to the authorities. Even wolframites. You don’t know who could be helping the Quarter remain operating from the outside. It’s easy to mentally and emotionally shut off amid turbulent times such as these, but we need civilians right now more than ever to be our eyes and ears. We can’t let another tragedy such as this happen again.”

The dreg sweated, stopping short of slicking down his hair in a panic, and he hid a stress-swallow as he pretended he wasn’t scoping whether anyone else in the waiting room had noticed that he still hadn’t left yet despite having been dismissed. He saw someone in the shape of Augen walk back into the waiting room from a side hall, but stayed put, exhausted, watching him walk up to the admissions desk. The vampire still had his shawl drawn over his head. The nurse pointed at ‘Choly from behind the glass, and Augen turned and gave him a look of recognition before crossing the room to sit beside him.

“Where were you?” the dreg whined. “You don’t look like you were getting patched up.”

“I’m not billable.” Augen doubled up in the chair to slouch against the wall, and watched the television to avoid eye contact. “Besides, I can’t stand the sight of needles.”

“--Oh bullshit. I had to make the billable choice myself. Did I screw up. Did I royally fucking screw up?” He gestured with a grunt at his leg brace slung out in front of him. The moment it all fell out of him, he looked around because he couldn’t remember if any children were present.

“I wouldn’t worry about it.” Mumbling, the fish reached over to pat ‘Choly’s right knee without looking. “Come to think of it, I’m surprised that when they processed your serial, they didn’t put together you’re probably Cecil’s next of kin. Or that he’s definitely yours.”

“...His what now.”

Augen just glared at him a sorry moment, unblinking, then got back up to speak to the admissions nurse again. He pointed to ‘Choly and the nurse checked a few things, and nodded with a noncommittal shrug. After a moment, he grew animated and waved 'Choly over.

“Why don’t I ever get the easy explanation...” With a brow-knit groan and a persistent wheeze, the dreg made his way over to admissions.

“Melancholy Kara?” she confirmed. He nodded. “Yes, you’re filed as Mr. Cecil’s next of kin. But he’s been signed for.”

“--What.” Augen stifled himself from straightening to his full length. ‘Choly could tell the drape of the aquatic hybrid’s clothing disguised how he coiled on himself grasping for composure. “By whom!”

The nurse shrugged off Augen’s irritation and ‘Choly’s confusion, and continued skimming through the computer information.

“...His brother, it says. A Benjamin Cecil? Anyway. Here’s his room number. He’s still in ICU. But he’s stable, awaiting his thetic support to go online. If you want, you can wait for him to come out of anesthesia.”

From a slot on the wall came a slim printed ticket with the number ICB-3406 on it, and ‘Choly ripped it to take it and stare at it with a heavy, lost loathing. Augen took it from ‘Choly and pocketed it, and shot the nurse a thumbs-up and patted ‘Choly on the shoulder to shepherd him energetically toward the nearest elevator. The dreg went as fast as he could, and Augen had to keep slowing himself down.

“Well, that explains why you weren’t called for Cecil, and vice versa. You couldn’t respond to him because of the power failure, and he couldn’t respond to you because he was likely already in surgery by the time we got here.”

“...His... thetic support...” ‘Choly tried the elevator call button again, unable to sit still despite his lethargy. “He had to have augmentation.”

“He was in an explosion, ‘Choly. Just be glad some of him survived.”

They rode alone to the second story, and ‘Choly saw opportunity in the moment of isolation. Rather than express frustration, he started with gratitude, hoping to make Augen explain anything that was happening to him.

“You know, that wasn’t near as bad as with anything for Bell.”

“Just wait for the deferred interest. With creds, it just amounts to more creds than almost anyone could ever pay off. But with alternative treatments, you probably signed a bodily lease for them in the future to test something else of their choice.”

The vampire benignly side-eyed him, the exact same deadpan look of anticipation he’d given him over the flatbed snafu. When ‘Choly just stared back at him, he shut his scleric eyes, and smiled withdrawing into himself a bit.

“Why didn’t you tell me any of this before you vanished? Or when you were urging me to get seen by the ER?”

“My benevolent psychopathy precedes me. Seems I’ve mistaken your character. Forgive me for thinking such compromising positions would titillate you. I’ll do better to distract you from yourself in the future.”

‘Choly huffed, wide-eyed and haunted. The elevator opened, and three visitors waited for them to exit before rushing in. They walked down the pale grey hall to locate the nurse’s desk.

“I didn’t know he had a brother.”

“...Concerning.” Augen noticed a policeman standing watch at a door, and dropped his shawl back around his shoulders to smooth his hair a bit.

“No, the shard of metal surgically embedded in my shin is concerning,” he whispered, exasperated. “I am petrified what Cecil’s gotten roped into. Or what this person who says he’s his brother signed him up for. He--”

“--will be fine,” Augen hushed, doing his best to be calm for both of them. “He’s more resilient than you think.”

The lemon-cast BLT visor at the desk picked up at hearing approaching hushed conversation, and the two of them could tell from the squirm that the nurse was staring at Augen.

“Seems Mr. Cecil is popular tonight,” the nurse quipped. “You’ll have to wait until the police leave.”

“How did you--” ‘Choly noticed the police at that point, too, and stiffened, recalling the newscast from earlier.

“Call it a lucky guess,” was the curt answer. “The system prompts when room inquiries print out, so we know where to expect visitor traffic.”

Augen stroked ‘Choly’s shoulder, looking over his own at Cecil’s room as they turned their back to the nurse and the police.

“As much as I know you’re going to hate to hear it... but let’s go sit and wait in the elevator lobby. I’ll buy you a coffee from the machine.”

“Even their garbage coffee sounds fantastic right now,” ‘Choly resigned.

They sat in hospital silence at the armchair-and-couch lobby with its fake plants and two vending machines for only fifteen minutes or so before four police officers collected in the elevator lobby waiting to board. The police looked over ‘Choly and Augen, and they did the same of the police, hoping mirroring their behavior would more normalize their doing so. One of them snorted at Augen before the call button dinged and the doors opened for them to leave.

“Who you here to see?” she started, dropping the pale blue-white backlight of her BLT to stare them down. She acted like she already knew the answer, but for her own gratification needed to hear them say it.

“We’re here to see his boyfriend,” Augen spat as coolly as he could.

“Leave ‘em be, Annie. We’re coming back after breakfast. Come on, I don’t wanna hold the door anymore.”

Once the police were gone, both of them sighed in revulsion. ‘Choly chugged half his coffee once it was cool enough, then took the rest with him as they stood and walked back to the room just past halfway down the hall. Several rooms on the floor had been appointed guards. A policeman still stood at Cecil’s door, unfazed despite attention piqued, and they stopped in anticipation of being stopped.

“Melancholy, and... and Sterling,” ‘Choly stammered, narrowly remembering from before. “I’m Cecil’s boyfriend, his next of kin. We can come in now, right?”

“Yeah, if y’don’t mind company.” They stared at the policeman’s visor a fraction too long to be comfortable, and entered.

The equipment in the room beeped in almost uniform intervals of affirmation. The divider curtain had been pulled all the way back to the wall, indicating the high-profile patient did not share the room despite the volume of incoming patients from the disaster. The fluorescent cast of the bar light above the bed illuminated the red-headed patient in the bed, and all the network of wires and tubing ran to and from his body. The patient’s features had been ripped open but stapled back in a close approximation to a human face, and the sides of his head had been shaved for the installation of disc-like enamel nodes which hugged his skull and likely penetrated it: four, two at his temples and two just behind his earlobes. Many of the wires and tubing tied right into these nodes. Mechanical ventilation hissed and deflated his respiration in steady intervals.

They realized Cecil wasn’t alone.

“You dickweed. If only I could have gotten to you first...” the kneeling, motionless figure whispered. “I could have kept you out of billing altogether...”

To the patient’s side was a canid hybrid in a black long coat, with sandy fur and a shock of iridescent green-rust hair. He stooped to rest his head against Cecil’s hip, and had placed an unresponsive hand atop his muzzle. His rat-like tail flicked out from between the split in the back of the coat, only to shoot straight down against his leg when he recognized he wasn’t alone. Rounded ears piqued, he stood and glared at the two of them with piercing golden-green eyes under a heavy brow. The hybrid couldn’t stifle a snort-snarl when he saw Augen, and Augen took a few steps forward, not breaking eye contact between the two of them.

‘Choly couldn’t make sense of the two hybrids, and only cared to finally be where he needed to be after all this time. Tears running down his face, he slowly made his way over to the bed. The canid sidestepped to obstruct him, territorial impulses overriding his better judgment. When ‘Choly couldn’t help but gasp, Augen straightened up to his full length and stared the canid down. The long whisker-like feathers at his jowls twitched, and he crinkled his nose and snuffled to himself with an internalized snarl, doubling back across the room to pace in the empty half.

Trembling, ‘Choly reached out and ran his splinted fingertips over the back of Cecil’s bruised hand. The bright scent of antiseptics bit through his congestion. Not wanting to hurt him, he followed in kind of the canid, and placed Cecil’s hand atop his own. Though still unconscious, Cecil’s fingers reflexively albeit weakly contorted around ‘Choly’s hand, and ‘Choly came undone at the seams. His head ran as hot as his face ran wet, and Augen dove in to scoop the upholstered armchair under him before he could fall.

“Things just continue to make less sense.” Augen leaned down on the back of Choly’s armchair.

“Don’t I know it.” The canid couldn’t sit still.

“Cecil...?” ‘Choly held Cecil’s hand in both his own this time, and he leaned in, watching expectantly for Cecil to magically spring awake. His imagination went wild with speculation what other thetic components might lay beneath that hospital blanket.

“Even if he has come to, he can’t hear you.” The canid watched him as Augen watched him, his voice low and tremulous. “His halo is still charging. I negotiated best I could with the fine print, but slag it all! Look at him. They have him wired where he has to recharge. Just to hear. Like he’s some piece of equipment. Grafting could have fixed all the damage he sustained, and more. And if the ban hadn’t bankrupted me, I could have at least afforded his cred-billing--”

“--Maybe grafting could reverse it?”

‘Choly had merely responded naturally to the distress with an attempt to calm and reason. He really did not like this alleged brother’s emotionally compromised state, or Augen’s flighty agitation. In the moment, with his blood pressure wild, ‘Choly couldn’t process displays of emotion stronger than those of his own. The awareness it had been stated that Cecil was likely permanently deaf struck him dumb, and he could do little else but stare expectantly at the canid. Near incredulous, the canid glared at ‘Choly with alarm, and Augen joined in the scorn of him even saying it aloud. The dreg swallowed and froze.

“If only it hadn’t been banned,” Augen uttered with a squint, trying to lampshade the whole notion.

“...If only...” ‘Choly realized he’d drawn attention to the transparent fact none of the donor species which comprised Augen had been available when Vek had still been legal, and felt sorry, given that they didn’t know how this other hybrid felt about proto-hybrids, and given the policeman still stationed outside the room. His face loosened into dead folds, and he tried his best to focus on Cecil.

“I don’t believe we’ve met.” The canid stood at the opposite side of the hospital bed, watching him. “I’m Ben. You must be the boyfriend admissions mentioned.”

“'Choly. And you must be the brother that I’ve never heard of until tonight.”

Ben smiled and laughed it off, his pointed teeth briefly visible back to his pointed molars.

“From the looks of it, I understand now why you didn’t respond to the hospital pages. I was beginning to worry the worst. I... I’m glad you’re here. That I get to meet whom he’s closest to right now. That he didn’t have to lose you on top of everything else he’s going through.”

“Not the best circumstances to be meeting.” ‘Choly glanced up at him and squinted, trying without glasses to pull the hybrid’s features into focus. That pointed remark wounded him. “I, what species are you? My glasses broke tonight, and I want to say you’re some breed of dog, or maybe wolf.”

Augen’s brow upturned as his eyes shot wide in fear, darting between the door and the hospital bed. In a shocked delight of being put on the spot, Ben’s ears folded flush against his head as he sucked on his dark lips, then bit his lower lip and shrugged with a weak laugh.

“Mmh... --arsupial which is no longer with us. Among other things.” He sideglanced to Augen, who patted at a visible sweat with the corner of his shawl. “One has to admire that nights like tonight prove the degrees of separation aren’t a myth.”

“Truly,” Augen nodded with a faint lip curl.

“I... should be going. The police said they would return once George was lucid and his thetics booted, and I’d rather not speak to them twice. Augen has my number.” He leaned over Cecil’s legs to pat ‘Choly on the shoulder with a smile. “Let me know how he gets along, will you? We can catch up when the temperature drops a spell.”

“--Wait wh.” ‘Choly watched in breathless confusion as Ben walked out.

“Get some rest,” Augen called off after him.

Once Ben had left, ‘Choly murder-glared the vampire. After a moment, his anger melted into confusion, and he touched his earlobe, thinking to the wolf hybrid at the confectioner’s. Even without his glasses, he could tell Ben had no facial jewelry of any kind.

“He... he wasn’t tagged.”

“NO SHIT, you little bugdick.” Augen slapped him in the back of the head. “Can you stop saying stupid fucking shit for five seconds? Sheisse, he’s got balls coming, knowing full well there’d be all these cops.”

“--OW. I... so that’s why you ghosted me earlier.” 'Choly rubbed at his head and got a sorry look. “Hey, could you put my reader on the charge pad on the nightstand? Might as well get some juice in it while we’re here.”

Augen did as requested, then sat on the ledge of the window. The two sat in the requested silence long enough for ‘Choly to drift off in the armchair holding Cecil’s hand.

“Wh-- whah--” Cecil rasped through the oxygen mask, watching ‘Choly expectantly. ‘Choly shot awake and put Cecil’s hand to his face, trying not to cry. “What--”

Augen briskly excused himself to alert the nurse that the patient had awakened.

“I’m so sorry,” the whisper strangled out of ‘Choly. He wiped his face off on his sweatshirt sleeve and frowned a moment, then did his best to smile at him as the realization hit him that he hadn’t heard ‘Choly, and couldn’t hear anything around him. His cataracted eyes locked on the subconjunctival hemorrhage that had subsumed the cornea of Cecil’s right eye, and once he knew Cecil was watching his face, he mouthed I love you.

Two nurses entered, and ‘Choly scooted his chair back to stay out of the way. One used a diagnostic wand to measure Cecil’s vitals, while the other pulled the top drawer of the nightstand open to retrieve from its charging cradle the thetic device: a contoured band which nearly formed a full circle. Once one nurse confirmed to the other that Cecil could come off intravenous aid for a while, he unplugged it all, and gestured for Cecil to sit up, holding the device in a way to insinuate it was time to fit him with it. The nurse folded out prongs in four places along the band, and snapped the halo neatly to Cecil’s head. His doing as instructed had the whole process go smoothly, and soon the nurses did a few auditory checks.

“Can you hear me, George?”

“It’s just Cecil,” he replied.

“Do you know where you are?”

“I’m in a hospital. There was a fire--”

“You’re in the HP, Mr. Cecil,” the second interjected. “Do you know what day it is?”

“It’s... April.”

The second nurse snapped her fingers, and she annotated that he looked to her. The first did the same.

“Everything seems to be in order,” the first instructed. “Since your boyfriend is here, we’re going to leave you be. The police will be here soon to speak with you, though, so make the visit short, if you would. After the police are done, a doctor will come with specifics regarding your procedure.”

“Procedure...?” Cecil trailed off, watching them leave. “I’m hearing everything with my brain, not my ears. It... it feels wrong.”

“But it works, right?” ‘Choly tried to smile at him, but Cecil was stuck taking in ‘Choly’s leg brace. “I’m so glad you’re alive.”

“You stayed home today... How did you get hurt so badly?”

“It’s... a long story. The hospital couldn’t reach me because of the mess Augen and I were in, so... we got to meet your brother,” he grinned.

Cecil’s features fell slack and his eyes widened into distance.

“I didn’t dream he was here, then.”

“‘Choly says you’ve never mentioned him before,” Augen interjected from the corner. “Do you know who he is?”

Cecil bit at his lip as though fishing for the sharkbites which the doctors had removed during his facial reconstruction.

“Not... a conversation for a place like this.”

Augen crossed his arms and slouched.

“Have you known the whole time?”

“He moved to Premier to open a Vek parlor. Got good with Vek. We lost touch. I’m just surprised the number they had on file for him still worked. That’s how long it’s been.” Cecil finally got to smiling, staring off into space. “We both have conservationist penchants. We... diverged radically. I collect books, and he... collects...” He gestured at Augen head to toe and got to wheezing when he couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What was he doing here, Cecil,” he continued, every fold of his face unhappy.

“He was my second next of kin. It makes sense they couldn’t reach ‘Choly. You poor thing. I’m so glad you’re all right.” Cecil lapsed into clinginess and clutched at ‘Choly’s hand, and he had to lay back down, overwhelmed. ‘Choly crumbled into a crying mess again while Cecil relied on the oxygen supply to steady himself. “Really, I shouldn’t be so surprised he showed. We used to be so close.”

Augen, lay off him.” ‘Choly let out a congested, irritated whine.

The vampire was unfazed, in a panic over the law being involved.

“No, I mean... why was he here.”

Cecil just stared at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Ultimately, Augen folded and came unhinged in an impatient string of ‘shit’s. He stormed out as calmly as he could, and exited down the opposite way of the nearest elevator.

Less than a minute later, the four police from before returned, but ‘Choly didn’t budge, too clingy to relent his long-sought proximity.

“Mister Cecil?” One stepped up to the bed with a reader, taking the lead. “Glad to see you’re still with us. We’re with the Tri-City Police. Are you lucid enough to tell us what happened?”

“You mean it wasn’t a fire?” Cecil’s face hardened, staring up at her.

“We suspect that someone set it. There were explosives involved. Do you remember anything unusual?”

“I, no. I was working late. A high school’s server had been returning 503′s all afternoon, and I couldn’t figure out why--” He tried to sit up and ‘Choly stopped him. “Why do you think there were explosives? Who would do that?”

“That’s why we’re here. To figure out what you saw, and what you know. You, you’re... Melancholy, yes?”

‘Choly nodded, petting Cecil’s hand.

“You were discharged from triage about three hours ago. Care to tell us how you were injured?”

He winced, remembering the bullet was in his bag, and he stared at his leg.

“I, yes. Yes. I had the day off, and I spent it with my friend Sterling. He was in here earlier, but he just had to leave. The, the bat hybrid. When the power went out, we were in a lift on his way taking me home. By the time we got out of the lift, all hell had broken out... Some idiot with a gun. A, a, a-- ah real gun. I don’t think they were looting or trying to rob us. I think they were trying to shoot Sterling ‘cause he’s a hybrid--”

“YOU GOT SHOT!” ‘Choly couldn’t keep Cecil down at this point, and he grabbed his boyfriend by the wrist to glare at him. The equipment started belting out rapid clicks and beeps, warning that he should lay down. He got real lousy and insisted ‘Choly lean into his lap so they could have as best a hug as they could manage. “Oh my god...”

“Tough luck, but hybrids are bad company, kiddo,” the sarcastic officer from before muttered as a caveat.

‘Choly stared hatefully through her obscuring visor, face twitching with rage.

“He brought me to the ER and helped me locate my boyfriend.” He barely kept from defending just how much trouble it was for the two of them to get from Jersey Proper all the way to Manhattan Premier, with the city drained of power, but he’d gotten savvy to how much he’d drawn attention to the wrong details all morning. “He’s not bad people.”

“Being a hybrid-- or being friends with a hybrid-- doesn’t-- justify getting shot at with a-- lethal weapon--”

Cecil snarled, imagining the officer would have said the same had his brother been the one on the other end of that aim. The diagnostic equipment let out a loud squealing chirp and everyone flinched when Cecil’s breathing lapsed. A nurse sprinted into the room, the one from the desk, and he scrambled to check the readings on the devices.

“You swore to me you would keep it civil!” As he took off the halo so they could get at the catheters installed in Cecil’s nodes, a second nurse joined in to help. “OUT! OUT OUT OUT--”

“--But,” the lead officer objected.

“ALL OF YOU! EVEN YOU, BOYFRIEND.”

‘Choly frowned, and barely remembered to grab his reader off the charge pad before doing as told. He returned to his place downstairs at the dining vestibule, in a horrid funk. He didn’t know where to go, and didn’t have a good place to sleep. He turned his reader back on, and once it booted up, he sent Augen a ‘thanks for nothing.’ Then he got himself another cup of coffee, furious that the hospital was bleeding him dry just to maintain his caffeine fix.

Some time later, Augen slipped into a seat beside him.

“It’s fair to be mad at me.”

“You’re gonna talk. Now.” ‘Choly grabbed a fistful of Augen’s shawl and held him where he could keep him. “How the hell do you know Ben? Did the same Vek artist do both your work or something?”

“--You could say that.” Augen shrugged at him to let go, and once freed he massaged at his temples. He leaned in with an almost silent hiss in ‘Choly’s ear. “That was Linnaeus, you fucking idiot.” He stole a sip of ‘Choly’s coffee.

‘Choly’s face drooped and he stared at Augen, trying to form a response.

“That’s... the guy who did your work? Are you trying to say he did his own work?”

“Slag your brain is shit from being up a whole day straight. There’s a reason you didn’t recognize his species, glasses or not. Except for him, the Tasmanian tiger is extinct. They say he pulled the sample himself. He’s one of the best proto-Vek artists in the city.”

“...Degrees... of separation. You seem... really haunted he’d show up amid all this. Maybe he’s allowed to be this distressed his brother almost died?”

“I never in a million years would have thought he’d risk getting arrested and forced therapy serum. Not even for family. And then two proto-hybrids showing up to see the same survivor in one night? That’s not going to get glossed over. Something’s wrong. Something’s really fucking wrong, ‘Choly.”

“Animals tend to get flushed out when their habitat’s threatened.” Rattled to abandon, he fished in his bag for his demolished confec bonbon. “Slag I’m glad I still have this after everything.”

Augen snatched up the wax paper before he could open it.

“What did they prescribe you?”

“Hydros. I’m fine,” he whined. “I’ve taken hydros for my joints and drunk for years.”

“Compromise. I get the confec, you get a drop of resin. Deal?”

“But... that’s a more potent confec...” ‘Choly frowned.

“A common misconception. Trust me. You have no filter and no self-preservation right now, bugdick. Let’s go somewhere more private to wax, hm? You wouldn’t drink in a hospital. Don’t get thrushed here, either.”

“Where could we even go? Shouldn’t we stay here?”

“Cecil’s not going anywhere anytime soon, and something tells me we both need some real food and a nap. Come on. I promise not to flake again. I know you’re practically blind right now.”

“Do... do they have an optometrist here?”

“The HP’s got everything in house. Come on. Food and sleep first. I need a break from this building, and I think you do, too. I’ll be your eyes until we come back later, all right?”

“I... fine. Can we at least see if they’ll let me have a wheelchair? My leg is throbbing and I don’t want to walk around Premier in my socks.”

“Hopefully, they’ll have one in stock to add to your tab,” he commented in agreement, helping him stand. “Sorry we don’t still have the one from yesterday.”

“I doubt we could have... kept it. How did you even flake so fast earlier, anyway? I saw you go the wrong way down the hall. Surely the police would have seen you in passing. There were like ten cops stationed in ICU.”

Augen left the question hanging in the air for dramatic effect, savoring it with a grin. Once he had ‘Choly in a chair and they were on their way, he leaned in to tell him in his ear.

“Dracula crawl. I don’t look part-salamander, so they didn’t even think to look up.”

‘Choly choked out a laugh.

“You fucking nerd-- Slag I need a smoothie and some vodka.”

“So it goes.”

Go to Next »»»

[cosmos-recs]

ALSHSKSHSKKSSKSJJS M ‼️

i have WORDS. and a LOT OF THEM ‼️

1. pleaseeeee tell me you’re gonna write a part 2 for chan’s part. you can’t just leave it like that– that tore my heart to pieces omg. also it might have ignited my fight or flight response bcs oh my gODDDD some dudes and their girl best friends… they really don’t know boundaries istg.

2. changbin in the minho section– pls why is that man SUCH a younger brother?? i wouldn’t even warn him, i’d just take the underwear and smack him with it.

also. gosh!!! y/n was so chill about minho lying. i would have criedddd. but ngl, i was a little relieved that minho’s one was not as sad as chan’s. that just– ooooof that one really got to me.

AND OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THAT CLINGY LINE FROM CHAN’S??? 100% THATS SOMETHING THAT AREUM GIRL FED TO HIM ISTG– she probably said y/n was clingy when the boys said y/n was asking where chan went 💀 i hate her already. if you make chan’s one into a full fic, tag me bcs i would read it like… 20 times probably. i’m so invested in the anti-areum campaign.

3. NAH CAUSE LET ME FUCKING AT THIS GIRL WHAT– WHO INTERRUPTS SOMEONE’S PROPOSAL LIKE THIS?! SHE COULD HAVE ASKED SOMEONE ELSE?? OR DO IT HERSELF??? LIKE BITCH– i’m even more anti-areum than before.

okay but also? bestie your writing??? the description?? the pain??? OOOF. icb changbin just left like that 💀 i would say NO to the proposal at that point ✋🏻

4. okay. hyunjin’s areum seems fine. first areum i don’t hate. thank you for giving my heart a break i was about to go ballistic on a bitch that don’t even exist 🤡

5. M…. bestie…. i just said– i JUST thanked you for sparing my heart and you do this. yeah no, jisung is… ✋🏻😶 ELECTRIC CHAIR!!! who DOES THAT?!

M pls we need a part 2 with jisung GETTING HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM (and chan having a fluff ending pls don’t break my heart over my bias i will actually cry). BUT JISUNG!!! JISUNG NEEDS A LESSON 😤👊🏻

[new fear unlocked: your bf might suddenly leave your apartment one day to get with his gbf and all you can do is cry]

6. okay i was about to throw hands at felix but then mans half redeemed himself in the last second. still pissed at areum tho. tf is this girl up to? any girl who needs to disturb her friend when he’s celebrating with his s/o is no friend. like come on, you can give him one day. sounds like she’s low-key in love with felix.

okay istg i’m so annoyed with this fictional girl. i wanna THROW SOME PUNCHES 😾😾😾😾

7. dear kim seungmin… you have earned… 🥳 A SLAP IN THE FACE 🥳 CONGRATULATIONS 🎉🎉🎉

[i am disgusted honestly. i have no words. which also just means you wrote this whole thing to be so believable ohmygodddd the emotions i’m feeling M‼️‼️‼️ WHY⁉️⁉️⁉️]

8. okay honestly? i would break up. icb y/n just gave him the silent treatment. but i would break up. like… why on earth would you stay friend with someone who’s mean to your partner?? and then LIE ABOUT BEING SICK?!

but since innie is… innie. i guess he can get another chance 🙄 but areum has to GO 👉🏻 🚪

gosh, M the amount of emotions i’ve felt while reading this… the one that stood out the most was my hatred for areum. that name is ruined for me forever now. i will never look at anyone named areum the same way 💀 but alshsksjsk i did really enjoy this. even if it made my blood boil

Stray Kids Reaction ││Ditches You For His BFF [Request]

Keep reading

[fmdxkit-blog]

setting: august 2006 to present day. warnings: death. word count: 3321 (// icb).

white with hints of grey and purple was all kit saw in his reflection. not too long ago—124 days, to be exact (but who was really counting?), he saw peaches, browns, flecks of pink, amber, blue, yellow. so many colors; he took them for granted, believing they were eternal. now, flooded in the lifeless hue of white (which wasn’t even a bonafide color, as his friend told him), kit felt dead. there was no life around him. the plants sat on the window sill were fake, devoid of mother nature’s gift (or curse).

he pulled a maroon beanie over his head, adding a splash of color to the canvas shade of his skin. the striking contrast brought the magentas out on his cheeks, but kit still looked as sickly as ever. bracing a knit cardigan around his slim, fragile body—his teacher gifted him (out of pity, no less), kit waddled towards the open door of his private hospital room. he asked a nurse to keep it open because he was so tired of hearing nothing but the voices tick away in his head, gnawing, scratching. kit would go mad if the silence persisted.

he stalked the corridor, rolling the IV pole next to him. it was the wilson to his—whatever tom hanks’ name was in that movie he was stranded on an island and his only friend for seven years was a bloodied volleyball. the IV pole was his only friend at the hospital.

kit strolled to where the other children with cancer usually gathered as the nurses tried to serenade them by singing kumbaya, as if that made the cancer nonexistent. he scoffed upon entering the room, immediately regretting the idea of having some sort of human interaction that day. before he could vanish back into the white surroundings, he caught a nurse’s periphery, and she waved him to join. he scanned the room. it was less dead than the rest of the ward. colourful, connected mats shielded the floor as toys laid scattered about: blocks, rag dolls, toy trucks, action figures. the whole shebang. the children were in a circle, surrounding a nurse with a ukulele.

begrudgingly, kit entered the playroom but lingered behind everyone else. he didn’t like drawing too much attention, nor was he in the mood to be singing songs, pretending he wasn’t confined out of his will because of an ailment 21st doctors still couldn’t solve. at eleven, he was already so much of a cynic. most eleven year olds were waiting for hogwarts letters (as if). he was losing his childhood day by day at an alarming rate.

“hey, i’ve never seen you around here.” soft but distinct. the voice crawled into kit’s personal bubble but he turned his head but saw no one. he then glanced down, blinking at a girl in a wheelchair.

“me too,” kit contested, eyeing the stranger. she wore the drab hospital gown and cliched beanie over her head too. it wouldn’t take a brain genius to realize she was a cancer patient just like him. “leukemia?”

“leukemia.” the girl nodded, lips twisted to a subtle pucker. “i’m elena, by the way. nice seeing someone else my age here.”

“kit.”

“kit? like kit-kat but without the kat? is your sister named kat?” elena giggled, tossing jokes as if they were funny. well, they were but kit wasn’t easily humored when his mood was at an all-time low.

“i don’t have a sister. i have a brother and his name is henry,” he answered diplomatically.

“you do know your parents named you after chocolate bars, right?”

kit scowled, annoyed by the wisecracks. “who asked you? why are you even talking to me? we’re not friends.”

elena fiddled with the hem of her blue hospital the gown. “how else do we make friends if we don’t talk, kit-kat?”

“first of all, i don’t want any friends.” kit resented anything or anyone who even vaguely reminded him he had cancer and was practically perched on death’s doormat. befriending a fellow patient was a definite no. “second of all, don’t call me that.” irritated, kit clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth and vacated the room. he was done with the crappy music and interrogation—none of which he signed up for, nor appreciated.

“hey, wait!” elena called behind him.

kit tossed her a glare over his shoulders, grimacing as her frail arms spun the large wheels of the wheelchair. “why are you following me? don’t follow me.” when he reached his room, he planned to slam the door in her face but a tire prevented him from doing so.

“i’m sorry i called you kit-kat. i won’t call you that again. i’ve been here for months and i haven’t spoken to anyone my age. i’m tired of listening to toddlers rave about dora the explorer. and frankly, i can’t look at them because i feel so bad. babies shouldn’t have to go through this,” elena emphasized gravelly, voice on the verge of breaking after an emotional and sincere speech.

kit was taken back by the burst of honesty and also by how much he related to her words. they struck a chord, so he opened the door.

“no one deserves to go through this,” he corrected passionately yet grimly, his jaw clenched so tight as his adam’s apple bobbed.

elena mustered a small, relieved smile. “let’s start again.” courteously, she extended a hand. “i’m elena. nice meeting you!”

kit stared at the pink palm, contemplating on accepting the offer of friendship. he had plenty of friends outside of the hospital but no one on the inside. he was so exhausted of pitied looks, maybe having someone on the same boat wouldn’t be a constant remainder of his situation but a person to relate to. to talk to. to understand him and his fears.

he shook elena’s hand, watching her smile overwhelm her freckled face. kit was stunned by the radiance; he was almost persuaded to mirror the expression but slickly caught himself and dropped the handshake a fraction later.

“and i’m kit. nice meeting you too.”

—

propped up by a number of heavy duty pillows, kit stared lifelessly at the television screen. old reruns of sitcoms from before he was born played: a group of elderly women spewing comedic jokes, a nanny with a nasally accent provided laughter, and a prince from bel-air but kit doesn’t bat an eyelash. his expression is forlorn, eyes an empty abyss of dull, mousy brown.

there was a knock on his door but he forewent a reply, wanting to have some alone time. then there was another until the knocking was constant, ringing in his ears. he snapped his head at the door as soon as it opened without a verbal permission of sorts.

“get out,” he hissed, voice eerily too deep for a boy of eleven.

elena stepped in, no longer bound to a clunky wheelchair. she padded to his bed, ignoring his wishes. “i heard you screaming earlier-“

the pink, swollen skin around kit’s eyes tightened, his jaw clenching as venom laced his words. “i was not screaming.”

“crying, then.” elena sat herself on the edge of the bed, hands folded on her thighs as she studied his appearance. there was no pity. just curiosity. “you’re not going home anytime soon, huh?”

kit glanced away, hard expression set on the cracks through the blinds. he saw nothing but pretend to be invested in anything else but the truth. the silence answered her questions and elena nodded knowingly.

“i’m glad you’re here.”

“excuse me?” kit grimaced, half disgusted by her confession and half confused. he returned his glare onto her and she refused to meet it, sight set on the floor.

“i’m glad you’re here. we can keep each other company. if you stay at home, who will be there for you? your parents have work and henry has sch-“<\small>

“your logic makes no sense,” he scowled. how could anyone wish for him to stay in some place he detested with every cell of his existence.

“you’ll get better, kit,” elena said wisely, as if she was certain his fate was guaranteed or written in the morning paper she fancied reading. “i know it. i can feel it. just hold on a little longer. the hospital isn’t so bad. the food, though.” in synchronization, they glanced at the tray of food settled on a bedside table. “that can be better.”

it didn’t know whether to groan or laugh but the most natural of chuckles spilled from his lips when he allowed himself the pleasure of loosening up. he was never so high-strung but the ambience of the hospital changed him. chemotherapy and radiation left him wilted, draining his last bits of energy until he was a blackhole, destructive to only himself. a rose, who was once brilliant red, now decaying with no color to its merit.

“finally,” elena grinned, her freckled cheeks pushing her eyes into merry crescents. “a smile. you look better when you smile.”

“you’ve been reading too many romance novels. you need to lay off.” flushed cheeks and heat prickling the tips of his ears, kit cleared his throat to act unaffected. aloof, even.

“what can i say, they take me away.” shutting her eyes, the sunlight peering through the gaps in the blinds settled on her face. the brown, orange, tan specks on her complexion luminescent, matching the radiance of her fiery, orange hair.

kit felt a strange, foreign beat in his chest. he clasped a hand over his heart, worried of yet another side affect of his treatment: he was exhausted of the migraines, the nausea, the vomiting. all he wanted was peace. but the sensation was different. it didn’t feel bad. in fact, it felt oddly calming while encouraging all at once.

he gulped, flickering his gaze anywhere but not on the trigger of the new anomaly.

—

“woah!” elena gaped in awe at the music video kit showed her on the computer once it came to an inevitable and bitter finish. her eyes were glazed, starry and astonished.

“what did i tell you?” kit stood proudly, hands perched on his hips. “cool, right?”

“very cool,” chuckled elena, scenes of the video zipping through her head in rewind. “i can see you doing that.”

bashfully, kit ran his hands over his beanie, adjusting the elastic hem around his pinkish ears. “you think? i don’t know. i can’t really sing, dance or rap.”

“but you can learn!” elena positively quipped, nothing short of belief etched on her façade. “some people are born great and some are taught greatness.”

“did you get that from a book…” kit laughed, resting his weight on the foot of elena’s bed as he pulled the laptop closer, typing in something else into the search engine.

“nope! i thought of it all on my own.”

“três cheesy,” kit pursed his lips, tossing her a teasing glance, eyebrow arched and disappearing under his favorite maroon beanie.

“oh, you like my cheesy butt!” elena giggled, unknowingly hitting the nail squarely on the head.

if kit wasn’t used to the cheeky lingo, the smile on his face would have faltered and the truth would have been revealed. he couldn’t have that. he watched many shows and learned feelings between good friends ultimately ruined the friendship. no, he would do no such thing.

—

“elena!” kit shouted as soon as he raced into elena’s hospital room. she laid in her bed, head in the clouds per usual. knowing her like the back of his hand (better, even), kit could tell she was restlessly daydreaming by the foggy disposition in her hazel eyes.

“hey, kit,” she greeted less enthusiastically, tired from treatment. warmth still graced her features, pursing her lips to a sincere smile. “you came just in time.”

no longer bound to the four walls of the hospital, kit would drop by weekly to pay elena a visit. he never missed a date; he was always on time. never tardy.

“i have great news to tell you!” the grin on kit’s face was so broad, so spectacular that it threatened the sun’s intensity and power. happiness was alive and well, setting fireworks in every nook and cranny of his body. “i’m cancer free!”

elena couldn’t hide the joy on her face. the tears welled up in her eyes, clouding her vision. her sobs were incoherent but kit understood every word.

“i’m so happy for you! i knew you could do it! didn’t i tell you you’ll get better?”

kit found a box of tissues stowed away in elena’s hospital bag. he ripped open the seal and plucked a few sheets for her to dry her damp face. the sincerity of her reaction touched kit immensely. he felt like bursting into tears too but refrained from doing so.

“yeah, you did.” he grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers. “and you’ll get better too. and when you do, we’ll go to korea and you can cheer me on at my audition!”

elena grinned flawlessly, flooding kit with an emotion he didn’t know existed prior. “i’ll be your first and biggest fan!”

—

“are you sure we won’t get in trouble for this?” the squeaky wheel of the wheelchair and the pads of kit’s steps are the only sounds they hear in the midst of their privy conversation.

“certain,” kit fibbed. a little while lie never hurt anyone. partially, it was honest. she wouldn’t get in trouble; but he would. 

he pushed the rooftop door open with his back, wheeling elena out delicately. the wind blew through them. that winter night was courteous. not too cold. kit’s winter coat around elena kept her cozy.

“wow,” elena marvelled, eyes everywhere on the starry sky. the white, silver specks glistened. “the view is better up here.”

“beats that crappy room you’re in,” kit retorted, rolling her close enough to the edge to see the roads and the few cars driving down them, speeding wistfully into the darkness.

“it’s not crappy,” defended elena. she loved that room of hers. practically, it was home. she spent more time there than anywhere else. kit hated that.

“nothing beats the outside.” he extended his arms, gesturing at what the world outside a pokey hospital had to offer. “the fresh air. the stars.” kit inhaled deeply, soaking in the chilly breeze before coughing, throat and mouth torrid.

elena shifted her gaze from the twinkling canvas to him, lips forming the fondest of smiles. “you never liked the hospital.”

“why would i?” kit let his arms fall, swinging them by his side. “it’s shit.”

“saved your life, though.”

“and took away many others.”

shaking her head in defeat, elena knew there was no reasoning with kit. he was too stubborn. an argument wasn’t worth it.

“thank you bringing me here. it’s beautiful.” elena craned her neck, admiring the natural wonders of the universe before being enclosed away again.

kit nodded, admiration clear in his crystal eyes. “anything for you.”

—

kit tucked the phone between his ear and shoulder, mindlessly waiting for the rings to cease and a familiar voice to pick up. the only voice kit wanted to hear after a gruelling day of exam reviews. he spun a basketball in his hand, pacing the empty space in front of his bed to pass the time. he was growing progressively restless, hating to stand idle with nothing to do but breathe and exist. he was tired of that mundane lifestyle.

“hey, kit-kat,” echoed elena’s groggy voice.

“hey, were you sleeping? i’m sorry i woke you.” looking at the time on his digital alarm clock, kit mentally shot himself for calling right after her chemotherapy treatment. he should have been more aware of how fatigued elena would be. “i can call back if-“

elena’s heartwarming giggles stopped him, as well as paused his pulse for the most fleeting of moments. time stood still and kit could almost see her, despite the roads between them. he envisioned her lying in her bed, facing the sun that poured through her window (she never liked having her curtains shut). the golden yellow rays dancing across her peaceful face; freckles intricate and hazel eyes shining.

“no, i’m good,” she said but yawned at the end. “so, how was your official last day of school before exams?”

“hated it,” kit sang, tossing the basketball up into the air, then caught it for a repeat. “but once i finish my exam tomorrow, i’ll come visit!”

the first year of high school took a toll on kit’s routine vsitations. club activities prevented him from seeing elena on the usual day—friday, so he went whenever available. the dates were scattered and dwindled into monthly subscriptions. kit hated it. he was going to korea soon and despite planning for elena to come along, the universe had other things in mind for her. ill-fated things.

“i’ll ask for extra jello for you,” elena added, knowing how much kit loved the snack since their lunch-dates in the past.

kit snorted, dropping his weight and bouncing on his mattress, discarding the basketball to properly hold his phone with a secure grip. “i have something in mind for my audition. i want you to hear it before anyone else.”

“ooo!” elena squealed, energy returning to her voice. she’s grown to sound so calm but it was obvious it wasn’t intentional. she was tired. “i can’t wait for this VIP showing of your audition. i feel so lucky!”

“you are lucky,” kit confirmed, foolishly smiling from ear to ear as he thought, i’m luckier. he never told elena how he felt but he had an inkling she knew and returned them. for now, that was enough for him. he could wait for her. she had more important matters to prioritize: getting better, beating cancer. not a walk in the park but kit was there and would always be there for her, supporting her, cheering her on. the day she would be cancer free would be the happiest day of his life, greatly surpassing the day he found out he was miraculously healed.

the time caught his peripheral and kit knew his mum would be calling him down to dinner soon—too soon. “hey, elena, i gotta go-“

“tell your mum, dad and henry i said hi, okay?” 

there was never dread in elena’s voice. only kindness and understanding. she matured wonderfully. well beyond her years.

“i will. i’ll see you tomorrow. goodnight,” kit said quietly, hope wedged between each word, glueing the sentence together.

when all were fast asleep, dreaming lucidly of endless possibilities, kit received a text. the notification fell on deaf ears for kit was lost in the slumber. he saw elena and approached her but she only receded, waving sorrowfully.

kit woke up. tears stained his face. then he checked his phone. 

thank you, kit.

he learned later that morning elena passed away. she went in her sleep. peacefully. without turbulence. no pain. no struggle. she went easily. almost willingly too.

years later, kit continued to ache. some days were agonizing; he heard her laughter in the backstage dressing rooms of music programs, in the audience at a variety appearance, during daytime strolls, in conversations he heard when passed, in his mind when he laid awake in the middle of the night; everywhere except… the club, the bar, anywhere extreme: the top of a building, the edge of a bridge, in conversations with strangers. in those instances, those mere lapses in time, kit forgot, burying the pain under disguises of temporary adrenaline and joy.

but when he did reminisce, the pain and loss was fresh, as if elena left him yesterday and not seven years ago. whoever said time heals all wounds was a liar. a fraud. time had done nothing to his wounds. they festered. they still bled. 

kit bled. 

every day. 

for the love who left him.