#along with other things obviously but grief mostly

[catsafarithewriter]

o’er-fraught heart

A/N: Okay, so confession time: I’ve never read any hanahaki fics (just not my type of thing for reasons) but @tcrmommabear threw an idea at me, and I couldn’t resist running with it. I’m taking this in a sideways direction, so the flowers bloom with any suppressed emotion, not just unconfessed love. 

(Also this hit 3k words?? heads up in advance, I guess. Also: don’t worry, this has a happy ending!) 

x

Baron can’t remember the last time his lungs weren’t wood. 

It doesn’t really matter, not really; after all wood is what he was originally carved from, and it is better that the flowers should bloom within a lifeless chest, than one made lifeless by their blossoming. The flowers will not kill him, and so they have almost become like old friends; a constant through the years, even as everything else changes. 

The first petals to drop from his lips were white; tiny pale buds native to oak that caught on his tongue while he searched for his missing soulmate. The last time he’d seen blooms like that, they’d been carved into the brim of Louise’s hat, a tidy nod to the tree she’d originally been created from. They are laced with unspoken sorrow, salty with unshed tears. 

He lets them drop and shifts his chest to wood. 

Dwelling on such things will change nothing.  

The sorrow subsides in time. The flowers still grow, but softer, slower. He learns to compensate for his perpetually lifeless lungs, pacing the drain of magic until he can function without tempting the worried glances of his companions. Then a day goes by without a petal passing his lips. A week. 

A month. 

He should be relieved. Instead, the guilt gathers in redundant lungs at the realisation that he is forgetting her – no, more than that, he is moving on from her. His mind has become preoccupied by new challenges: by the Sanctuary world he has discovered, by the Cat Bureau he has established, by the managing of his two companions -  a crow Creation and a cat, forever bickering - and that somewhere amongst the mundane he has become comfortable in this Louise-less life. 

The flowers that blossom from his guilt are black rose petals. His lifeless lungs do not feel their thorns, but in his dreams he does. 

“You can always talk, you know,” the crow Creation offers one evening, once a case has been solved and the day is done. Toto shuffles along the inner balcony, his feathers as inky black as the petals Baron strives to hide. “If you need to.”

Baron continues to tidy up his desk. He sweeps away a tiny white petal caught beneath a file. If he speaks of his grief, the flowers will disappear entirely, and he will lose the last connection he has to his lost soulmate. “Thank you, Toto. But I’m fine.”

His friend watches him for a long moment. 

He does not ask again. 

In time, even the rose petals falter, but their roots remain woven through him. He sometimes wonders how far they will spread; if he will one day find roots in place of veins along his arms, if there will come a day he is more grieving, guilty blossoms than Creation. 

Life continues. 

A schoolgirl turns up on the Sanctuary doorstep with a Cat Kingdom on her heels and lilac petals on her lips. The Bureau helps - how could they not? - and when the time comes for them to go their separate ways, both dilemmas are dealt with. The girl stands atop her school roof and finds the courage to confess a burgeoning crush that sweeps the flowers free. 

Life continues. 

He tucks the fallen oak blossoms between the pages of favourite books, but favourite books change over time and he encounters fewer and fewer surprise petals as the years pass. The black rose blossoms find their fate swept into hidden corners, where neither Baron has to consider them, nor his friends fret over. 

And then the schoolgirl returns. 

Years have passed, for she stands taller now - both literally and figuratively - and when she smiles it is difficult to imagine that blossoms ever spilled from her mouth. She comes to them with a problem she hopes the Bureau can fix. “If you meant what you said before,” she adds, “that your doors would be open, be it day or night.”

“I never say anything I do not mean,” Baron assures, and it is true; he simply does not say everything he means, and therein lies a world of petal-speckled difference. They solve her dilemma - a haunting in a museum - and when it comes for her to walk away again, she lingers. 

“It’s all been rather exciting,” she confesses, “and I must admit I wouldn’t mind helping with any other cases you need a human around for. It’s proven to be kinda difficult to unsee all the magic, once you’ve set foot in it the once.”

There’s never been a human in the Cat Bureau, but the case had been all the easier for having one accompany them. And Haru has seen most of what their adventures have to offer - the planning, the running, the hasty re-planning after the first one have gone astray - and she’s still interested, so he really can’t claim she doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into. He promises they will call on her, should they need human aid. 

The Sanctuary seems happy with the human’s addition; the next time Haru enters the little Creation world, she shrinks down to a more convenient height and is able to make herself at home on the sofa, instead of perched on the chest. She comes and goes, tentatively at first, but then more frequently as she finds her place among the Bureau and its inhabitants. She cooks with Muta, plays chess (and loses) with Toto, borrows books from Baron and discusses her thoughts over cups of tea. 

A petal - dead and dried - is settled gently on his desk. He looks up from the violin he is tuning. 

“I found this in the book you lent me,” she says by way of explanation. She stands awkwardly across the desk from him, but there is a stubborn twist on her lips he has come to heed. “Baron, are you... Are you okay?”

He smiles - because what else can he do? - and gathers up the pressed oak blossom. It is smaller than he remembers, shrunk from its time between pages, It seems almost impossibly delicate. “Of course I am, Haru. What would make you ask otherwise?”

Her lips twist further. She has no way to be sure it is a hanahaki flower, and not just a regular blossom pressed for his own uses, but he can see in her eyes she will be watching from now on. She leans against the desk. “Just... tell me if that changes, okay? If you need someone to talk to, I... Just remember you’re not alone, alright?” Her hand curls around his, an intimacy only previously shared in the heat of adventure, in catching of hands to drag out of danger or steady. “You have friends.”

Having a human in the Bureau is easier, until it isn’t.  

He spits out a petal the following day. It’s pink. 

A cherry blossom. 

A fluke. A mistake. Spring is heavy in the air; he’d probably half-swallowed it and was only now coughing it back up. Improbable, but more comfortable to believe than the alternative - until a second petal catches on his teeth, the same pastel-pink as before. 

The new blossoms are sporadic at first; coughed up at sudden, seemingly unpredictable moments. Listening to Haru singing nonsense lyrics to classical music while baking with Muta. Watching her laugh, with head thrown back. Readying himself to catch her as another case goes horrendously south, and her trusting him every single time. 

Haru. Haru. Haru. 

She sits curled up beside him on the sofa, book in hand and head leant against his shoulder. The casual intimacy is reassuring and intoxicating all at once, a dizzying mix that leaves his brain gently fizzling and his eyes re-reading the same paragraph for the sixth time in a row. He is sure he feels another cherry blossom bloom in his lifeless chest. 

He is so intent on hiding his inattention, he has no idea Haru hasn’t turned a page of her own book until she lowers it. She doesn’t twist to meet his gaze, but he feels her breath shift. He wants to bottle up this moment, before it can be lost to the pain of reality. 

“Did you know I used to suffer from hanahaki a lot when I was younger?”

He shifts his gaze to try and catch hers, but she is stubbornly looking away. “It’s not uncommon in teenagers,” he says, recalling the state she had first come to them in. “It’s a turbulent time, so I understand.”

Haru laughs, short and sharp. “I had it bad, even for a teenager. I hid it so my mother wouldn’t worry, but my best friend found the petals and went ballistic. She tried to convince me to admit my feelings - it didn’t even have to be to the guy I liked, it could be anyone, just so long as I actually said the words - but I never did.”

His breath hitches, even in absence of working lungs. To the likes of him, the blossoms are a nuisance, something inconvenience but worked-around, but to humans the flowers will take root in veins and arteries, weaving their way through the body until their carrier collapsed. “What happened?”

She meets his gaze now. Her cheeks redden. “You did.” She looks away, but the blush only slightly lessens. “Sure, it was partly because you raised the bar and I lost interest in a guy who barely knew I existed, but it was mostly because I found the courage to speak up for myself. You did that. You and the Bureau.”

“I think you were a big component in finding that courage yourself,” Baron reminds her. 

She laughs, gentler this time. “I suppose I was. But - more to the point - I know what it’s like. I know the... strange comfort that comes from the flowers.”

“I don’t follow.”

She doesn’t look like she believes it. “If I never confessed my feelings for the guy, if I held all my emotions in, then I could never be rejected. I would always hold the potential of our relationship in the blossoms instead. It was... safe, in its own way. Except for the whole... flowers growing inside me bit. That was less safe.”

“Creations don’t suffer from that malady,” Baron says, before he can stop himself. “We can use our magic to keep the flowers from causing any harm.” 

“You mean close off parts of yourself.” She’s watching him now, and does not miss the surprise that lines his face. She taps his chest. It makes a hollow sound. “How long have you been keeping the blossoms at bay, Baron?”

As long as they bloom. He’ll take the pain, so long as he does not forget. 

“It’s been a lifetime,” he says. “Why stop now?”

He does not put a name to the cherry blossoms, although their springtime petals leave little doubt as to their cause. They will fade in time, he is sure, just as all the other blooms have; in his long life, nothing is permanent. And yet, the more time Haru spends with them, the greater his internal garden grows. The blossoms take root in his heart, and he turns that to wood also. 

“You should tell her,” Muta remarks one morning. He sits with his newspaper before him, not even deigning to meet Baron’s gaze. He kicks a pink flower out from beneath his chair. “Before things get worse.”

Things must be plenty worse, if even Muta has taken to trying to offer advice, Baron suspects, but he only sweeps the blossom away. “I have everything under control, Muta.”

“Yeah?” The newspaper lowers. “You’ve got something just...” Muta gestures his collarbone. 

Baron picks another cherry blossom from his jacket. Strange. He doesn’t even remember coughing that one up. “A few flowers here and there won’t kill me.”

Muta grunts and flicks the paper back up. “Tell someone, Baron. It don’t have to be her, or me. Tell the birdbrain, even. Just get some things off your chest before it starts to take root there.”

Too late, Baron thinks.

Haru Yoshioka is many things - kind, resourceful, stubborn - and straightforward, most of all. Whatever strength she found with them in the Cat Kingdom, she carries it with her still, speaking her mind as she sees fit. He’s never seen a single hanahaki petal fall from her lips since her reunion. 

But he - his chest is full of flowers, in unequal parts for his soulmate and for the human woman who has stumbled into his life. How can he chase after one happiness, when Louise’s blossoms still bloom within? 

And he will not burden Haru with knowledge of what his heart is doing to him. Or worse still, she might suggest the sensible option - that her absence might keep the flowers at bay. 

He will suffer a few blossoms, if she can only stay a little longer.    

He doesn’t shed so many oak flowers or black rose petals anymore. They still linger, dormant in corners of his lungs, but they are overrun by the cherry blossoms. 

He is grateful for his fur. It hides the stems which run along his shoulders, the roots which burrow along his arms. Slivers of wood scar his form, keeping the sakura from growing into flesh and blood. He does not know how deep the blossoms will grow; any mortal would have collapsed by now. 

He sees his friends sparing him worried looks, and he offers them reassuring smiles with a half-wooden smile. 

Spring comes around again, and Haru joins him on the balcony one balmy afternoon. He gives her a hand up, and the contact is comfortable. Easy. 

“We really should put in a ladder one of these days,” he says. 

“Yes, but then I wouldn’t get to be lifted up by you,” she replies with that teasing affection that blooms fresh blossoms in his heart. She swings out of his hold to take a seat at the outer balcony edge, her feet hanging over the side and her shoulder leaning against the railing. 

He joins her, shoulder to shoulder. 

She leans closer still, and for one wild moment, he thinks she’s leaning in for a kiss, but then she plucks something from his jawline. 

A cherry blossom. 

“They’re growing on the outside now, did you know?” she asks softly. “I’ve never seen it get this bad before.”

“Creations are hardier than your average mortal.”

She doesn’t answer immediately, only cups his face with her hands and picks another flower, this time growing from behind his ear. He doesn’t even feel it. She cradles the blossom in her hands, gently stroking at the pink petals. “You must miss her very much,” she says eventually. 

“Who?”

She looks hurt then, and Baron can’t understand why. Does she think he’s deliberately misunderstanding her question. “Your soulmate. Louise.” A breeze rocks the flower. “Toto told me about her.”

Of course he did. 

“If you wanted,” she continues, softer still, “if it would make things... easier, I can always leave.” 

He almost believes he can feel his inanimate heart lurch inside him. “Why would I want that?” 

“I’m aware that things between us could get complicated.” Her gaze flickers to him, to his half-wooden lips, and away. “That maybe we are both wanting things that can never come to pass, and I... Look, I’ve done that pining from afar thing before, and it got me nowhere. Well, to be exact, it got me a chestful of lilacs, and I’m not interested in repeating the past.” Her smile is sad. “If we keep this up, something is going to break, and I fear it’s going to be you.”

She shifts, as if to move to her feet, but Baron curls a wooden hand around her wrist. She hesitates. 

“I only knew her for a little while before we were separated,” he says, and he feels the roots loosen. “She was my soulmate in the literal sense; we were created by the same artisan, so our souls came from the same source. We were meant to be together, always.”

“But she was lost.”

“I looked for her,” he promises, although he is not sure who he is promising - Haru, himself, or his absent Louise. “I looked - for years. She can’t be gone - I would know, but...”

Haru’s weight shifts, and she leans against him once more. “But eventually you had to move on.”

“I never meant to. It simply... happened.”

“We can’t be sad forever, Baron.” She gently drops the cherry blossom into his palm. “However hard we try. However much we may think we deserve it, or we want to keep it.” 

“The awful thing is, I’m not sure I was ever in love with her.” He cups the blossom. It’s already beginning to wilt. “I wanted to be - no,” he amends, “I felt I should be, but we barely had a chance to get to know one another before I lost her. I miss her, but I also miss the future we might have had, we should have had.”

He feels the roots loosen.

“Is that why you feel the guilt?”

He meets her eyes, and her face takes on a sheepish air. “I asked Toto about the black rose petals. He worked out what was going on with you a long time ago, but every time he tried to talk, you rebuffeted his attempts.”

“I suppose I wasn’t quite so subtle at hiding it as I’d hoped.”

“Don’t quit your day job to play poker, that’s all I’m saying.” She nudges her shoulder against his, a light attempt at joviality. “He’s known you for a long time, Baron. Of course he knew something was up. He said he hoped you would eventually realise that what happened to Louise wasn’t your fault, and neither was you moving on.”

“Some things are easy to say, harder to believe.”

“I know. That’s why we have friends to say them for us.” 

He exhales. “The oak blossoms were the last connection I had to Louise, and then when that began to fade, the roses felt like a fitting punishment for my lapse. If I let either one of them go, I was somehow failing her.”

"She wouldn’t have thought that.”

“You are right about many things, Haru, but that is beyond your knowledge.” 

“I know you,” she counters, “and I cannot believe anyone created from the same soul as you would wish another person to suffer in their absence.” She drops her head against his shoulder, eyes closed. “Did you realise you’re breathing again?”

He falters. The weight from his lungs has gone, and the wood has receded with the threat. The air is sweet, tinged with springtime warmth, the scent of freshly-cut grass and tentative new growth. He hadn’t realised Louise’s flowers had grown so thickly within, even while the cherry blossoms still dominated the rest of him. 

“It’s been a long time,” he exhales. 

The emotions still linger, he doesn’t think they will ever truly leave, but they are lighter on his tongue than they ever were in his lungs. Haru tentatively nudges a finger against Baron’s hand. He curls his hand around hers. 

“I love you, Baron,” she whispers. “You don’t have to say it back, but please, tell someone. Tell someone before the person I love becomes a sakura tree, please.”

Blessed with breath once more, he feels the way his chest constricts at the soft plea. He had forgotten the way emotions could take root in unexpected places. He brings his hand to Haru’s cheek, letting the cherry blossom drop, and leans his brow to Haru’s. Neither move. Breath catches in his throat. 

He presses his lips to hers, and she responds in kind. 

In his heart, the flowers fade, and something else blossoms in its place. 

When they break away, Haru’s eyes are bright and full of stars, and they roam across his face. She runs a hand along his cheek, fingers brushing over his living lips. “I suppose that works as well as any confession,” she whispers. 

Baron can’t remember when his lungs first turned to wood, but he knew he’d remember their renewal for the rest of his long life.   

[spxllcxstxr]

Being Eddard Stark’s Second Wife • Headcanon

(Gif not mine)

Request: Eddard Stark second wife headcanon? ❤️❤️❤️ -m — anon

Warnings: fem!reader, heavy canon divergence, mention of dying in childbirth (not reader, no other mention of pregnancy/having children), assumed age gap? Ned stark being THE man <3

A.N: I feel like these are a little short but I actually like this one! I love Ned so much so these were also just fun to write…I hope you like them! :) also I always struggle to find more diverse gifs along these romantic lines and I’m so sorry about that, my works are always inclusive

•

You marry Ned Stark after Catelyn dies delivering Rickon, her youngest

Ned certainly did not believe that he would marry again, he was incredibly heartbroken by the death of his wife

Additionally, he now had to look after 6 children and be the Lord of Winterfell

Even though he had servants and teachers and maesters to look after his children and keep them preoccupied, he was still stretched very thin due to stress and lack of sleep

You had been a close friend to the Starks even before Robb was born; some daughter of a lesser known Northern house who had come to Winterfell for a change of scenery

Despite your lower ranking, Ned and Catelyn became close friends of yours

When Catelyn died Ned’s grief almost consumed him; but you were his light in the deep and dangerous darkness that had fallen over his life

While throughout the many years of knowing Ned you occasionally felt a spark, not love, but it certainly wasn’t platonic, you pushed it down, never rushing anything that would harm your friendship and Catelyn in particular

Becoming Ned’s second wife is a gradual process

Ned comes to you almost every day, whether it is due to his grief or to ask your opinion on something, you become even closer than you were before

It takes maybe around 2 or 3 years of mutual pining for the two of you to really acknowledge what’s going on

Robb, Jon, and Arya definitely have a hand in this, they’re old enough to see what’s going on, they certainly drop hints to the two of you

“Tell me, my Lady, why I cannot stop thinking about you…”. He takes off his gloves, just to place his rough palm gently on your cheek. “You are the first thing in my mind when I wake, and the last thing when I finally succumb to sleep.”

“Ned…”

“If you do not feel the same tell me now, before I kiss you,”

The kiss is obviously what starts it, and the wedding comes very quick after that

Ned is very protective of you

With anything

He knows how harsh the Northern wind is, so he makes sure you have the finest furs and the warmest boots

Even if you say you’re fine he will insistently add another layer onto you

He does it with a grin on his face and a kiss on the forehead

Ned loves you so much

He will also teach you how to defend yourself

He is already teaching his children so training you isn’t a problem, he doesn’t like to think about it, but he knows there might come a day where he may not be able to protect you from the evil things of Westeros (or beyond)

His kids are mostly used to you before you end up marrying him

Sansa is really the only one to have a bigger issue with her father taking a second wife but she quickly warms up to you

You know you aren’t their mother and you try not to smother them like you are, but you are protective of them as if they were your own

Ned loves watching you help them with their studies or their interests

He’s seen you sneakily teach Arya how to punch properly

And Sansa’s needlework has improved since you moved into the castle

He adores how you treat Jon no differently than the others, Catelyn always did. He doesn’t blame her, he had to lie to her, but it warms his heart to see you act so kind to him

Ned is a loving husband and he shows that to you every day

He’s always gentle towards you and respects your opinions and what you have to say

He’s truly #NotLikeOtherMen lmao

•

[whoopsyeahokay]

October Sun

summary: Wally hadn't been able to make sense of what you'd said. How had it been possible that he and the others had been trapped for so long without knowing it? With that truth out for him to examine, Wally hadn't been sure he'd wanted to look any closer. He'd felt violated. Betrayed. Lost. What other lies had he been unwittingly a part of?

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.

bon reading

___________________________💀

OCTOBER SUN pt.14

The world fell away as your words penetrated. Wally stilled, didn't breathe, didn't blink, didn't make a sound. As if he could delay the impact of that truth if he shut down critical functions.

Weakly, "What do you...mean?" Wally croaked, but something deep within himself had always known.

Known it like common sense; the feeling like looking at a green sky and knowing it was supposed to be blue. Like being sick since birth yet knowing that that wasn't what healthy felt like. He'd known and yet never questioned it because he and the others had had no way to be sure their situation was terribly, tragically wrong.

In the earliest days succeeding his untimely demise, Wally had tried to leave the school.

Not to follow his mother home after she'd donated his trophies, helmet, and jacket to display in the stadium entrance. Not to join his friends in Rodney's basement to get stoned after his memorial service. Not to break his own heart by stalking Jenny to the motel where she and her second choice prom date, Gary fucking Reid, lost their virginities together.

Rather, to go for a walk for the sake of getting some air. Despite having been flung back to the field multiple times by then—a lesson that had drilled into him the habit of remaining perpetually vigilant of his surroundings—Wally had had this intrinsic understanding that he could roam beyond what the barrier permitted.

So much so that, one evening, he hadn't kept track of where he'd been going (partly because he'd trusted himself to veer away from the perimeter, but mostly because he'd been relaxed. Not actively chasing down a loved one). It'd been an unconscious series of actions; one foot in front of the other, listening to Eddie Money's Can't Hold Back on a Lost & Found walkman, strolling into the thin smattering of trees on the edge of the grounds, and then wham—

Back to Start.

It had happened a few times after that, too. Rhonda would cackle around her lollipop du jour, roll her eyes, and tell him to, "Get smart, Jockstrap."

When Charley had come along, he'd experienced the same thing. And then Ajay and Katelynn. Learning the lesson after the lesson had been learned. Mr. Martin had calmly and wisely informed them that it was merely the result of not having internalized being dead yet.

But that hadn't sat right with Wally, similar to having been given the excuse of roughhousing when he'd caught his parents in a compromising position one innocuous summer-break afternoon before he'd aged into double digits.

"Babe..." Wally croaked, just above a whisper, the weight of what you'd unveiled slamming into his chest and leaving him winded, "What are you saying?"

Your eyes, marbled and bright—though not outright glowing like they had in the theater—stared right into him for a moment. You were obviously calculating what it meant that Wally couldn't leave the high school, all the hows and whys flittering like dust motes between you and him.

"Unless you're a residual haunter, like Mina or Yuri, you should be able to go wherever you want. How long have you been stuck?"

Wally's throat clicked when he swallowed, "Since I died."

You pressed your forehead to his, hands slotting under his jaw, and, voice laced with grief, said, "That's not possible."

"I mean, maybe it is?" Wally tried to reason, slumping back in his seat and staring at the 5-yard line as he stitched together his own theories based on what he'd learned as an actual dead person. "It's not like ghosts wrote those books you read. Maybe whoever wrote them got it wrong."

Shaking your head, "Actually, they did. Not the physical copies, obviously, but those authors collaborated with ghosts to write those books."

Wally didn't know what to say to that. Didn't know if he could answer a lot of things anymore. Did he even know what it meant to be dead?

You seemed willing wait him out as he turned everything over in his head, one hand on his shoulder, the other lifting the one he'd had on your calf so you could string his arm through your legs and cradle his hand on your belly, your thumb rubbing soothing patterns between the bones.

"What does it mean?" He asked, distant.

Wally could feel himself slipping away, the revelation frosting him from the inside and making him numb. He'd had a similar experience when he'd been fourteen and had broken his collarbone. The pain so intense that his brain had immediately severed its connection to the feeling.

Shock.

"It means that something doesn't want you to leave." You answered once he'd returned his eyes to yours. Your features creased, "Or someone."

Wally felt that statement like a nail through the chest. "How?"

You stared at him helplessly, caressing his cheek and then tilting forward to press your foreheads together again. The action worked to ground Wally, reeled him back from the edge of an existential crisis he wasn't ready to have.

Regretfully, "I don't know, Wally. But we'll figure it out, okay?"

He nodded against you. Closed his eyes and absorbed the warmth of your nearness, the solidity of your touch. Allowed those things to calm him.

"At least we can rule out Mr. A having anything to do with that, right?" Wally snorted in an attempt to lighten the mood.

You pulled back, smiled gently, and nodded, "Right. But he could've used it to his advantage. With her soul stuck here, Maddie wouldn't be able to get back into her body and then go to the police. It also means that he could've safely stashed her body anywhere, so long as he has access to life support."

"You think he dropped her at the hospital?"

"Not here." You said, "Split River isn't big enough to pull that off. He could've driven her to another state? Dropped her off at a big city hospital as a Jane Doe?"

Wally grimaced, shaking his head at the depravity, "That's messed up."

"God, her body could be in Detroit for all we know and it wouldn't get back here until someone in the hospital there made the connection. Unless Sheriff Baxter decides to widen the search."

"Couldn't you ask him? It's like you said, Xavier's your brother from another mother. Wouldn't the sheriff listen to you?"

You didn't seem convinced, reciting in a satire of an upbeat tone, "Hey Sheriff, I think my teacher knocked Maddie out of her body and took it to another state all so she wouldn't tell you about the money he's hiding in his classroom. We should totally look into that."

Wally responded in a responsible manner, "That sounds like an awful idea, let's not do that."

Curling against the back of your seat, voice slightly strangled, you uttered, "So, Maddie's stuck in an In Between 'til I can find her body and bring it back to her."

Wally sensed the granite mass of the pressure you were already putting on yourself. Choosing to steer you out from under it, he diverted the conversation, "Still haven't told me what an In Between is, by the way."

It did the trick, at least for the time being. Your lips quirked up at the corners and the wrinkle between your brows vanished as you informed him, "It's exactly what it sounds like. A plain between plains."

"Yeah, pretty thing, you're going to have to dumb it down more." Wally said, willing to sacrifice his dignity for the sake of making you smile.

Grinning, you set the stage, "Think of plains like different worlds. I'm in the living world, you're in the dead world, right?"

"Got it."

"Now, pretend there are doorways into those worlds. In Betweens are the spaces between the doors." You nibbled your bottom lip and Wally's attention immediately slipped, the urge to lick into your mouth making him twitch. Sweetly unaware, you back-tracked and tried a different avenue, "Not doors...maybe glass walls?"

"The door thing made sense. I mean, I think I get it. In Betweens are those places that anyone can access, whereas the living world is just for the living and the dead world is just for the dead. Am I close?"

"Yeah, you got it." You praised and Wally had to stifle the desire to puff out his chest and preen. "Well, not anyone can access In Betweens, but if your soul can Travel, that's where you go."

"So, when you project, you're in an In Between." Wally stated, though he was hedging for clarification.

"Exactly."

"And you said Maddie's stuck in an In Between, too, right?"

Wally saw the moment you clocked where he was going with that train of thought.

With a lamenting sigh, you said, "Unfortunately, In Betweens are complex. They're unique to all kinds of things like bloodlines and soul-ties—" Wally opened his mouth to ask, but you got there first, "—incredibly deep bonds you make in life with another person." He closed his mouth and listened as you elaborated. "So, me and my great-aunt enter the same In Between and can see each other. But Maddie..."

"Isn't blood?"

"And she and I weren't close enough to form the type of bond you'd need to Travel the same In Between. Either she'd have had to invite me into hers or I'd have had to invite her into mine. It's extremely intimate. Not something you do with someone you only hang out with in a group." You perked up and finally gave Wally a full, supernova smile. "I actually wrote you some notes."

The implication conjured an image of you scribbling notes for him under light cast from a laptop screen, kicking your feet as you lay on your bed like a schoolgirl. All so that he could understand the twisty, twiddly secrets of the universe...

He swooned, barely holding back a wistful exhale.

And then his brain ticked back a few frames to you on an unmade bed. The collar of the oversized t-shirt Wally hoped you owned bearing one shoulder, and the smooth skin of your legs on display.

He couldn't care less about the state of his deadness now, and what it meant that he couldn't leave the school grounds. Instead, he let a slow, devilish smirk slant across his mouth, emboldened by hormones and how receptive you were as he leaned into your space.

He slid his hand from yours and placed it on your thigh, "Gonna let me copy your homework, baby?"

"Gotta get those grades up before the big game." You played along, "Don't want you kicked off the team."

Without hesitation, Wally struck, halfway out of his seat, hand gripping the armrest behind you to hold himself up. He loomed over you, little thing that you were, squished into your seat and completely caged in by him. He hovered, heard your breath hitch, and watched your gaze go hazy.

"Lucky to have a girl like you on my side, then, huh?" Wally said, voice rough, tightly controlled, closing the distance between your lips in increments.

You reached up, wrapped your arms around his neck, "Damn right, big shot," and dipped in.

A throat cleared somewhere over Wally's shoulder, from behind and moderately above, and drove him back into his seat at Mach speed, his hold on you resituating to a socially acceptable place on your ankle. The interruption was accompanied by that arcing of gravity that emitted from a living body which meant Wally was once more on the outside looking in.

"Okay there, hot shot, time to get moving. Students aren't s'posed to be up here outside'a game time." The maintenance worker said, illicit cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.

Wally noticed the man wasn't quite looking at you, and, for the first time, he had to wonder what the hell people saw when you and he were together while you were still in your body.

You pulled yourself up as fast as the angle allowed you to without injury, foot still tucked in Wally's lap. As soon as your head peeked above the back of your seat, the maintenance worker clutched a hand to his heart and plucked the cigarette from his lips.

"Jesus, girl, you can't do that to folks." He scolded you, southern accent thickening, "Lookin' like a zombie comin' out the grave or what."

"Sorry," You said and sounded as puzzled as Wally was by the man's overreaction.

"Just hurry up and get goin'." His eyes swept in a strange pattern, away from you then back then away, fixing on a point that would have been Wally's nose if he weren't invisible. "You kids these days thinking you can be wherever you wanna be, huh? Ignoring the rules, like they don't apply to you..."

God, this guy. "Can it, asshole. Give her a minute to get up." Wally snapped, bolstered by the fact that the man couldn't hear him. "Bet you're bent outta shape because all that nicotine makes your dick about as useful as a wet napkin."

He heard you choke on a laugh that you quickly masked under a cough.

The man squinted, lips pursed in aggravation. Surprisingly, he departed with no more than a gruff, "Get gone!" and stuck his half-burned cigarette back into his mouth.

Wally glared after him as the man marched up the stairs toward a ladder open beneath a curtain of cables and metal that spilled from the ceiling. Clearly, the man had been in the middle of fixing something when he'd seen you.

"Fucker." Wally grumbled. He patted your leg, pressed a kiss to your knee before he released you.

"I appreciated the support," You giggled, "Even if it doesn't do much on my side of things, it's nice to know you have my back."

"I've always got you, baby." Wally vowed as he unfolded himself and rose to his feet. He couldn't help tacking on, "Every bit of you," with a wink that made you pink up so prettily.

You wetted your lips, ducked your face into your shoulder; shy after you'd been caught in what might’ve been a very awkward position. "I'm starting to get that."

Wally let you take the lead, enjoyed how you brushed up against him as you shuffled out of the row and onto the stairs. He shot the man one last angry look as he grabbed his jacket and then turned to trail you across the field and out of the stadium.

At the top of the grandstand, feet from the ladder, the man examined his cigarette through a profoundly glum expression.

With a grunt, he dropped it to the ground and crushed it under the thick sole of his work boot, simultaneously pulling the crumpled, two-from-empty pack out of his breast pocket and whipping it into a nearby trashcan.

💀___________________________

PART THIRTEEN - PART FIFTEEN

also available on AO3!

MASTERLIST

[voltronisanobsession]

Hi!! I have some Dad!Miguel content for you >:)

We all know that Miguel is a very busy man, and I don’t think that would change if he had a kid. So what about teen!reader who got bit by a spider and became spider woman? Reader is recruited to the society without Miguel knowing who we are under the mask. BUT PLOT TWIST!!! We get hurt in a fight and our mask is ruined so he finds out just as we’re passing out from injuries :(((

Happy ending? (Or not, your choice >:) )

Miguel finding out His Kid is a Spider Person

I just wanna let you know I was listening to what was I made for while writing this JUST TO GET THAT EXTRA ANGST

This one is really long so I hope you don’t mind😜‼️

HAHAHA I LIKE YOUR THINKING

Like I can imagine Miguel having a kid who has seen EVERYTHING he went through

The loss of his youngest daughter, him spiraling down from grief, knowing their father willingly left for a while just to be able to be with their younger sister in another dimension

Like that shit took a lot from you, making teen!reader feel… unwanted by the end of it all

Imagine this scenario with me

Reader ALREADY knows what’s happening in the other dimension, worried out of their mind, wondering if their dad will make it out alive

Hurt that he just up and left them. You’re sitting in silence when a portal opens, Miguel walking through it, along with other spiders, some limping, others being carried out

As relieving as it is to see your dad ok, you can’t help but feel disappointed, angry,betrayed in a way when you look at him

None of you guys talk about what happened which causes a rift in your relationship

And now that he’s suffered the consequences of a collapsed universe, we all know Miguel is digging himself in more work in the Spider society

He’s still bitter and angry, mostly at himself, and now his main goal is to protect all universes from any anomalies

But that comes at a price of neglecting you, his only child

You continue your life, Miguel rarely coming home most days. You cook for yourself, clean around the house by yourself, taking care of yourself

On a rare day you decide to visit the spider society, you notice a weird flickering coming from an alley way (so original I know)

Unknowingly, you venture through it, only to find the thing causing all the glitching was a small spider. Finding a small container thrown to the side, you try to capture the anomaly, but the spider had incredible speed, running up your arm and under your shirt

You start panicking when you feel it bite you, immediately swatting it away from your neck

After that, the rest is basically history. You’re too afraid to tell ANYONE what happened, especially Miguel. You know how he is, what he thinks of anomalies.

So you go through these changes in quiet. By yourself, again. You learn how to use your new abilities and start making yourself known in your city

While Miguel is busy with the society, you busy yourself as the up and coming spider hero

Of course Miguel catches wind of this, obviously confused on the new spider person lurking in his dimension

With a new mask covering your face, your able to convince (clumsily may I add) your father that you managed to get thrown into this world after a portal opened

This man literally tries sending you back to ‘your real world’ but Jess tells him it’s better to have you in the team

So your spider journey begins! You get your own watch, become friends with the other spiders, hell you even start growing closer to Miguel, your father, but you never, ever take off your mask

The spider mask gives you a new identity, a new confidence that helps build up your relationship with Miguel

You both go on missions together, the older man kinda taking you under his wing

You guys work well together when capturing anomalies

You’re able to joke around him more often, him scoffing at the dumb ones while you laugh

Over time, he grows to enjoy your presence. He becomes kinda protective of you, constantly telling you to be careful when out on missions

He feels a sense of familiarity when around you, though he can never place his finger on why

He just knows you remind him of someone, your laughter so familiar yet not at the same time

You cherish every moment you have with Miguel, whether it’s sitting in silence while he files some paperwork or dragging him to the cafeteria to eat something

And at the end of the day, you wave goodbye to your friends and pretend to go through a portal, only to swing away from the society back to your home in Nueva York

I feel like teen!reader would be a little bitter over their growing relationship with their dad under a different alias

Why couldn’t you have a normal family relationship with him? Did he prefer your spider version over the real you? It’s still you under the mask but would he be the same if he knew? How would he even react if he ever found out it was you under the mask the entire time?

You only start truly panicking when you get seriously injured during a particularly hard mission

Cut deep on your side and mask ripping, you collapse in pain as Miguel runs to you

Your heaving as short and shaky breaths escape your mouth

Miguel tries picking you up only for you to cry out from the movement

Everything crumbles around you as your dad tries to remove your ruined mask to let you breathe more easily

You stop him from pulling up your mask with a shaky hand, fear laced in your voice

He would look down in worry, you seemed more scared of him seeing your face than of the wound gushing with blood

“Please. Don’t.”

“You need air. I promise I won’t let anyone see your face.”

You breathing quickens as he takes off the mask, your eyes closed in shame, tears falling down like a waterfall

You blearily blink your eyes to look at him, his shocked face the last thing you see before passing out, whether from the pain or from the intense emotions you felt is anyone’s guess

I think after taking you back to headquarters, Miguel would be super conflicted on how to approach the situation

In fact, he’s at a loss for words on what to do

He hadn’t seen you in a long time, but now knowing you were right in front of him the entire time

He would feel ashamed. How could he not know it was you the entire time? Did he even know his own child at this point? What kind of father was he?

When you wake up, there is only two ways this can go

A LOT of talking gonna happen. Maybe even some yelling from both parties

It might end in tears and regret, or it might end in tears and anger

Miguel doesn’t know how to talk to you anymore, and you don’t know to express yourself without bursting into tears

I’ll leave the rest into interpretation for you guys, it really depends on who starts the conversation

It’s either Miguel’s regret or your anger

[justali-anne]

Undertale Playing On A Minecraft Server!

This is Post-Pacifist, by the way.

Frisk:

Probably the one who created the server, let's be real. They're also the one who introduced the monsters to Minecraft in the first place.

They sometimes like to play in creative mode, but I bet they're willing to take on some of the hardest Minecraft challenges for kicks. Sometimes to the detriment of others on the server.

They're likely to play along when Alphys wants to roleplay. A well-behaved child.

Spends time with everyone as equally as possible! They love everyone on the server, so of course they would wanna do that!

Shows everyone the ropes and gives them tips. They help out Asgore the most.

Sometimes they like to play survival properly with Papyrus and Undyne, sometimes they like to troll them with Sans. They're kind of a wild card when it comes to that.

Since they're the host, they're always on the server when it's running.

Toriel:

She doesn't play on the server that much - she's often too busy with grading homework and taking care of the school. But when she does join, it's a nice treat.

Because she doesn't play as often, she's further behind than most of the other players on the server. Luckily, Frisk and Papyrus are kind enough to supply her with materials and food.

I'm sure she would love to build a pretty cottage in a forest biome, surrounded by a nice farm and do her own thing.

Sticks by either Frisk or Sans. Often tries to reign them in when they're taking their pranks too far. Sometimes she even distracts Sans while Papyrus and Undyne are doing something important. She's an unsung hero in that regard.

Although, on occasion, she might be prone to a little bit of pranking herself... Mostly on Sans, because he needs a taste of his own medicine.

Sans:

TROLL.

Trolly troll troll trolly troll trolly troll troll!

No, but seriously, this guy is a menace! He steals important materials, messes up Papyrus' organised chests, knocks players off of cliffs, you name it, he's gonna do it.

Well... apart from griefing. Sans wouldn't go that far. He's not mean-spirited.

He also uses cheats. Like, all the time. It's a miracle he hasn't been kicked off the server yet. Probably because Frisk is too nice to kick him and besides, he's one of their best friends!

Obviously targets Undyne and Papyrus the most, but sometimes he actually stops trolling and helps them out.

Possibly has the dumbest skin on the server, let's be real.

He likes it when someone gets back at him! He finds it very humerus!

If someone genuinely gets upset at him, though, Sans will back down. As stated earlier, he's not mean-spirited.

Plays very often, in fact, he's almost always there when the group plays! What can I say? He just likes spending time with his friends.

Papyrus:

Absolutely adores playing Minecraft, and would pester Frisk (kindly) to start up the server so he can play.

He likes to set himself challenges so he would never get bored. He'll defeat all the bosses, then make a challenge to defeat them again and again... IN THE SAME AREA.

Will explore every inch of the server and build landmarks (statues of himself, farms, buildings etc) to keep track of where he's been.

Likes to keep all his chests organised and tidy, and fumes when someone (cough cough Sans cough cough) messes them up.

Rages easily, especially when Sans is around. It takes a lot for him to rage quit, though.

I don't know why, but something tells me Papyrus would be good at redstone. He could use it to make cool Minecraft puzzles! And then test them with his friends! Isn't that cute?

He likes to play along with Alphys' roleplays when Undyne isn't around. He's sweet like that.

Would go out of his way to ration every resource equally and keep some extra for Toriel. Iron, food, heck, even diamonds and netherite. He's very generous.

How often does he play? Pretty often, actually! He and Sans are a bit of a package deal, so when one shows up, the other inevitably will. I forgot to mention that before... Well, unless he's at work. Papyrus is no slacker.

Undyne:

Loves ALL challenges! She's in it for the thrills and would go for every boss and achievement.

She's a pretty intense player. She rages easily and is very reckless, which leads to a lot of deaths and a lot of lost resources. Chill, Undyne.

She doesn't really spend a lot of time building things, so she just leaves the building to Papyrus and Alphys. Thanks to them, she no longer lives in a dirt hole!

Sometimes she will rage quit, only to come back 2 minutes later. It happens so often that everyone is used to it now. "Oh, Undyne quit? Maybe this time she'll- Oh, look, she's back again."

She'll roleplay with Alphys, especially cool anime battles and stuff like that. She has a bit of a guilty pleasure for this. And besides, who could say no to Alphys?

Often sticks by Papyrus since the two are best buds. Though she's just as likely to go adventuring on her own.

She doesn't play as often as Frisk and the brothers, but she's very frequent and plays like 80% of the time... ish? When possible, of course. She's busy too, you know!

Alphys:

She's the type who loves to roleplay. She even builds settings for them.

Heavily inspired by anime. She actually likes to be in Creative Mode most of the time for two reasons. 1. So she can get all the resources she needs to build her humble town. 2. Because she doesn't like the creepy mobs coming out at night and attacking her.

She hates creepers and phantoms with a passion. Creepers destroyed her builds more than once and jumpscare her easily, and she's the one the others have to coax into bed because she insists on building and gathering materials all night, so phantoms are definitely gonna spawn and annoy her.

Building and roleplaying isn't all she does. Like Papyrus, I'd imagine Alphys would pick up on redstone very easily. She's also the one who creates the best material farms so she can gather resources quickly.

Occasionally, she will join Undyne and Papyrus on their challenges.

Avoids Sans most of the time... For obvious reasons. The two definitely still talk to each other, though. No hard feelings.

She doesn't play too often, but she has a lot more free time than Undyne does now that she's on the surface. And let's be honest, she's kind of a shut in already. She'll only join the server when she's up for it, as in, mentally.

Asgore:

Oh, sweet sweet Asgore.

The poor soul, he fumbles most of the time and doesn't know how to play. He dies the most often, but the sweetie is a good sport about it.

Thanks to Frisk, he gets the hang of the basics, but there's still a lot he doesn't know. And to be honest, he doesn't have a lot of time to get to know them, since I imagine he would be busy with other important things.

Will gladly roleplay with Alphys. He doesn't usually take part in the adventures. Not unless someone drags him into it.

He's a pushover and just follows everyone else.

Doesn't play much at all. Like Toriel, it's only on rare occasions, but when he does play, it's a treat.

Other characters:

Flowey - Used to play. Got banned because he was a lot like Sans, just 100X worse.

Monster Kid - They love playing Minecraft, and they like the server too! However, they also have a server of their own, so they just play on that most of the time. They love playing with Frisk and Papyrus, though!

Mettaton - Doesn't play at all. Sorry, darling! He's busy travelling the world and doing tours! He's got fans to please!

Napstablook - Also busy supporting Mettaton with his tours, so they don't play at all. However, they have played ONCE and never again. They didn't know how to play, and just gave up after one little mistake in typical Napstablook fashion. Bless their soul.

W.D. Gaster - ☟︎☜︎🕯︎💧︎ 😐︎✋︎☠︎👎︎✌︎ 💧︎☟︎✌︎❄︎❄︎☜︎☼︎☜︎👎︎ ✌︎👍︎☼︎⚐︎💧︎💧︎ ❄︎✋︎💣︎☜︎ ✌︎☠︎👎︎ 💧︎🏱︎✌︎👍︎☜︎ ☼︎✋︎☝︎☟︎❄︎ ☠︎⚐︎🕈︎✍︎✍︎ ☟︎☜︎🕯︎💧︎ 😐︎✋︎☠︎👎︎ ⚐︎☞︎📬︎📬︎📬︎ 👎︎☜︎✌︎👎︎✍︎✍︎✍︎ ☟︎⚐︎🕈︎ 👍︎✌︎☠︎ ☟︎☜︎ 🏱︎⚐︎💧︎💧︎✋︎👌︎☹︎✡︎ 🏱︎☹︎✌︎✡︎✍︎✍︎✍︎ ✋︎ ☺︎🕆︎💧︎❄︎ 🏱︎🕆︎❄︎ ☟︎✋︎💣︎ ☟︎☜︎☼︎☜︎ ✌︎💧︎ ✌︎ ☺︎⚐︎😐︎☜︎📬︎

[theriverbeyond]

this is such a random question, but on the subject of theories i was wondering what would have happened if john and the erebos had arrived at the aftermath of canaan house before boe and found the non-lyctor survivors. like would he have just let corona, judith, and camilla go home or get rid of them because they knew too much? is “knowing too much” even a concern for john? for some reason neither option feels totally right to me, but i would love to hear your thoughts!

I honestly think he would let them go home! I think one of John's major flaws is he fundementally both misunderstands and underestimates the people he sees as "his", and I think this does extend into the houses.

I don't think he would see non-Lyctors as any kind of threat, even if he knew that said non-Lyctors had figured out the secret to Lyctorhood. At most I think he would sew their tongues but honestly I think he would take one look at Judith "on life support from catastrophic gut wound" Deuteros, Camilla "catatonic with grief" Hect, Coronabeth "inconsolable because Ianthe age Babs and not her" Tridentarius and be like wow! these kids are having a bad time I should send them home to their parents.

Remember -- if John had arrived at Canaan House before BOE, this is *before* BOE took out 18,000 soldiers with orbital radiation missiles. this is *before* Augustine's betrayal, and Mercymorn's, and *before* the Sixth House defected. The only betrayal John would have felt was Cytherea's, and she failed, and as we see in HtN he mostly pities her.

I do think this could lead to a very interesting AU wherein Camilla is sent home (with the bones in her pocket), Judith is fixed up with proper medical care from the start (and then packed back off to the cohort), and Coronabeth is probably (on request) taken to the Erebos with Ianthe.

I can see this leading to Camilla spending a lot of time trying to free Palamedes' soul while on the Sixth, potentially needing to join the cohort (Alexandrite Cam, anyone?) so she can reconnect with Judith, who despite having several sticks up her ass is the only person Cam feels she can really go to about this (due to them both being the only people left in the Dominicus system who actually know what happened at Canaan House). Maybe Camilla convinces Judith to poke around in the skull bones -- Judith isn't as good as Harrow, but maybe they do bring back some shadow of Palamedes into the bones.

THEN maybe eventually they run into Coronabeth, who perhaps was not allowed all the way to the Mithraeum, but WAS given some sort of very strategic and fancy seat in the cohort so Ianthe can keep tabs on her. A very nepotism hire situation, and despite Ianthe's desire to keep her safe Coronabeth HATES it all because she was once again left behind. When the opportunity to track down Ianthe arises, she takes it.

I see this unfolding over several years post GtN timeline. Perhaps the three of them end up collaborating with other characters along the way that they feel they can trust, some more likely than others -- Mia (Pro's wife) and her children, now grown enough to want more information about their father's death. Ram and Capris Asht, who don't believe that their brother would kill the eighth house heir he had sworn to protect. Kiana can get in here too. maybe the Third house Boy Who Loved Shuttles helps them with a getaway once. Abigail's younger brother, who she named as her heir -- maybe he helps with Palamedes' soul. Jeannemary and Issac's younger siblings. A neo-niner or two -- John renewed the house, and involving a character or three that was ressurected from our modern times would be super interesting and also fill out our merry band. Maybe the neo-niners Remember Things that make Cam connect some dots.

Harrow is still out there, obviously, and in this AU I am imagining Number 7 as NOT speeding up and really taking 5 years to get there, just to even out the time line and allow all that to happen before Number 7 comes and Augustine drowns the Mithraeum.

anyway. events occur, things happen, and intrigue abounds. Alecto awakens, Harrow Remembers, Ianthe doesn't get the girl. Cam is on a warpath. Judith is dragged alongside. Coronabeth isn't going to be left behind again.

what was your question again? this answer has gotten deeply out of hand

[hopelessfandomfreak]

what’s so interesting about allison is that, rewatching the first two seasons, you realize she’s always had this kind of forceful edge to her that becomes so obvious in season 3. she uses her powers to get her way (like with her career or with claire), or occasionally to hurt someone (like forcing the racist asshole at statdler’s to burn his hand with hot coffee), but usually her way is more morally correct, so we don’t think of it as wrong or villainous. but then in season 3, she starts using her power in ways that are very clearly messed up (sexually assaulting luther, being an overall asshole to viktor) and it’s like “hey…she’s kinda been doing this all along.” but because she’s been doing it mostly for the right reasons or in ways that benefit her without really harming anyone, we turn a blind eye to that controlling side of her character. it’s only when she starts to lose her moral compass that that trait becomes a BAD thing. and even in season 3, when she does some genuinely messed up things to her family, you still feel for her and can empathize with her grief and struggle. that’s a big part of what makes her such a complex, unique character: her actions are obviously wrong, but the audience is still able to see why she’s done the things she’s done and appreciate her complexity. it’s just interesting to consider how characters can have these traits that really aren’t inherently good or evil, it’s what the character makes of them based off their current situation, mental state, and level of self control. of course this is true in real life as well as fiction: people are complex, and I love how allison represents this idea so well. it seems like a simple concept but it’s WHY certain characters are more interesting or boring than others.

[karoochui]

I just wanted to say I am so enamoured with Binary Insurgence! I eat up everything, every little crumb, you drop about it and the entire idea is so interesting to me! I'm so in love with stories and worlds like this! I'm also curious to know about the relationship between Sun and Moon, if it's alright to ask. How was it before the fire compared to after? Does their relationship begin to mend (because I'm certain over the years it deteriorated) when y/n comes back into the picture? If any of this is too spoilery or you just haven't fleshed it out yet then you don't have to answer! I'm just super curious about the boys and how you see their dynamic/relationship. I just look forward to seeing how their bond has grown and/or broken and how it may be mended over time.

AHH im glad you like it so much!! Im happy to talk about what i've got, but you are right not everything is fully fleshed out. I have points i wanna get to but while im brainstorming and planning i make up a lot of stuff as i go and then go over it again later to see if i like it or can connect stuff in any way. I have 3 chapters for Arc 1 fully summarized as of now! (Which probably doesn't seem like a lot but i like my chapters long, so it's quite a bit actually).

I wanna say, too, that i'm planning for the first story to be more in the perspective of the reader, so most things about Sun and Moon's personal thoughts and feelings are gonna be more implied than said. I might have some switching points of view, i'm not sure, but i haven't found a place i'd do it or think it's relevant. The sequel is gonna be more from their perspective since it'll mostly be about them.

NOW! I see Sun and Moon as brothers, so they really treat each other in a way that's like that. Before the fire they get along pretty well. Most instances of issue would be when Moon blocks out Sun when he fronts, or just mutual panic over the fact Moon lost his shit w/ the virus. They'll have their disagreements about things (i havent planned specifics yet) but generally they're chill. Sun just worries about Moon hurting people, but Moon worries too. With the way the virus functions in this AU it's hard for Sun to fully fault Moon for what he does, especially because he's also affected by it but not nearly as bad. (I'm gonna explain this more in another ask i have).

Plus, even before the virus they were always glitch/bug-ridden because technicians fucked up their programming continuously after removing them from the theater to work in the daycare. So they had to kinda navigate through that together, glitches and errors on both ends (though not deadly). They hate P&S bc of this, obviously. Hardware fixes suck but they fucking HATE software examinations.

Later on though some issues come into play whenever Sun starts getting worse by being further exposed to the virus (it gets worse for him when they eclipse) because it presents itself in Sun differently than it does Moon. He gets snappier and angrier at times (that comic i made that's captioned "well someones snappy") and while they both understand he doesnt mean the shit he does it's still not great. And nobody's gonna just let themselves be talked to like a dog even if the reason it's happening is because of something the other person can't really help. They're still relatively fine at this point, though.

It's at the end when shit goes really bad, because this part of the story does end badly. I won't spoil specifics but after the fire Sun loses his shit. He starts trying to put the blame on Moon for everything (the virus enhancing his already bad habits/fucking with his line of thinking) out of grief and anger. That carries over into the apocalypse and he just gets worse in general. He gets irrational.

It's a long period of time though, so he eventually also manages it, in his own way. But! I did say before in an ask that in the sequel he's "not evil, persay, but he's a fucking nut". He damns Moon to an hourglass to just fucking get rid of him about 100~ years before they meet you again (he fully thinks he's in the right for this (and he also just hates him) and the only reason he really even stayed around after that was to make sure Moon didn't get out again). He's not a bad-intentioned individual, but he's off the fucking wall at many times bc of the virus having made him worse. He's stubborn as all hell to an infuriating degree, he's irrational, hard-headed, reckless, and while a good bit of his old, kinder self is still pretty prevalent he can be downright fucking mean if provoked. Again, worse than before, and it doesn't take much these days! I always imagined him to have more dramatic, snappy, diva aspects to his personality (even before Help Wanted 2 came out) bc hes so theatrical and intense, so basically take a Sun that's like that, crank it up to 100 and put him in a Bad Situation. That's what Round 2 Sun is like at his worst. He's not a complete lost cause though, and he's far from dumb when he does stuff, just clouded by his own judgement. He doesn't think anything's wrong with him (or does he?).

Moon doesn't really hate him like Sun hates Moon, because although he knows that what happened (the ending of the first story) is technically both of their faults he just feels guilt. They do fight a lot, though. Most of it is Moon trying his best to tell Sun that he's basically full of shit and not seeing things right after Sun starts something, but Sun's at the point where he's gotta learn by consequence. Part of the reason he's so bad is bc 1: hes been infected by the virus for so long now and 2: in his grief, anger, and resentment he's learned to live with it rather than fighting it.

But the sequel is gonna be a feel-good story! Falling in love w/ the reader all over again, i want things to get cleared up - or at least some kind of middle ground between Sun and Moon - the whole sha-bang.

[odusseus-xvi]

q!BAGHERA post because I am ecstatic

I want to talk about what happened yesterday (just in case, this isn't about drama or whatever this is talking about what the evolution of the character might be, no discourse, no drama, this isn't the subject of this post) because of HOW MANY POSSIBITIES IT OFFERS for Baghera and how TERRIFYING they all are.

Let me tell you I am terrified (ecstatic I love the angst gimme) because Baghera yesterday, discovered what BBH did (only partially, she doesn't know about the torture yet.. OH and when she does...). But that's the thing. She was upset at BBH, but what's worse is what BBH did to her. As of late Baghera has been lost, scared, and while everyone has moved on in their grief (they are all still grieving obviously, but they are at a point where they have grieved quite a bit and are now trying things) she has not even gotten the occasion to at all. She is trying to grieve her missing children AND her childhood she remembered she never had, AND Bad which is very obviously looking terrible, but everyone is moving along, trying to pass on to other things or trying to find solutions. Forever comes and tell her to try and be happy, but how can she ?

Here comes yesterday. Here comes BBH. I always suspected, and it was proven multiple times that Baghera was very much his moral compass. But at the time she came back, it was already to late. It was done. He did the mistake. And the thing is BBH is one of the only ones she decides to trust with some of her secrets, because it's her bebou, it's her partner in crime. It's the father of her children. And Bad decides to do the same, except HE puts her at test. She doesn't know it yet, he asks her to make the promise not to tell anyone and not to intervene. She oblige, obviously. And he shows her.

And she is shocked, she is starting to stress out. She is obviously angry at Bad, and at the same time... She promised, but it's fucked up, but it's her best friend, but it's too similar to her childhood she has to help, but it's Pomme's father she can't betray him. And when she makes it clear to Bad she is not happy he starts behaving in a way he never did with Baghz (when I tell you I got chills) , when he lied to her before it was mostly playful, but there it felt like manipulation, he cut her words short, "Is he oka-" "Yes he is don't worry.", he doesn't let space for her to be mad.

She promises to Ron. "I'll get you out of here. Give me one or two days"

And then when Forever etc. comes around she is still processing all this and she makes a quick decision, a terrible one. She lies to them. She protects Bad. But it's also to protect Ron. She may have an occasion to free him. And in that moment, she hates what she is doing. She doesn't want to lie but Bad has put her in an impossible position. And in trying to solve everything, to not betray anyone, she is forced to betray everyone. And she realises it. She hates it.

And that's where we get for what happens then. Because she is already lost and lonely, and one of the only person she could have used to get out of this downward spiral has betrayed her. He has lied and made her betray everyone else. And she will have to betray him soon. She will feel truly alone. She feels like she betrayed Forever, and in a way she did. She feels terrible, she can't trust him anymore, she has crossed the limits herself, she is too afraid. The French suspect her of things, she suspects them in return. (obviously she will still play with all of them because cc!Baghera is still friends with all of them, what I mean is she will just bottle up all those feelings again.)

That leaves three options.

First is Fit. But even if there is mutual respect in their respective secrets, that respect includes NOT giving away their secrets.

Second is Jaiden. "We have to stick together." But unlike anyone else, this will most likely end up in a downward spiral as well. They will just comfort each other in their compassion for Cucurucho, and in the end their past with the Federation.

Last is her "true and only" family. When she will truly be alone, there will be one option, that will always remain open.

The Federation.

Basically, unless there is an unforeseen turn of events, that can always happen, I want to say she is doomed.

And I can't wait to see what cc!Baghera comes up with.

[sepublic]

Anyhow, I want people to understand the significance of me crying over TOH ending because. I generally do not cry. It’s hard for me to cry, I feel sadness and grief sure! But tears themselves are difficult. And as much as I love media, it’s very rare and hard for it to make me genuinely cry. Other cartoons and shows I’ve gotten into haven’t done it, but...

The Owl House genuinely made me cry. After the grief of Agony of a Witch, the lonely despair of King’s Tide, and so many other painful moments. The Owl House finally made me sob, genuinely, wails I had to cover up, hot tears, sore eyes and a dripping nose. I heaved and made myself cry even more, because goddamn is there such a relief in the catharsis of feeling this pain, and knowing it means you’ve felt something, you’ve felt happiness to begin with.

So yeah. The Owl House has always been pretty special to me. But I think this expression of how I felt was low key what I was waiting for, working towards, after the finale. The absence hurts, but it makes me appreciate all the more the presence it entails for TOH in my life. For the community, for the experiences, the analyses, the genuine fun and laughter and speculation! The hype and friends I’ve made along the way, me building up my own skills as a reader thanks to this show!

I remember being enamored by The Owl House’s first announcement in February 2018, the first ever, possible public reveal of that show; You could’ve only known it beforehand if you worked at Disney and/or were one of Dana’s friends. Something about Luz, about Eda, about King... The very premise itself, the magic. Something about this show felt special to me, I had a really good feeling about it I couldn’t explain.

I ended up checking Dana’s Twitter obsessively for updates, was excited when she posted this one art of Luz and King having an ice cream run, while Eda was displeased with a little demon trying to get her dessert. I expected mostly casual things, but something about the vibes, the magic and wonder experienced through the lens of Luz... It got to me in a legitimately depressive state of my life.

Because I was depressed. Suicidal, even. It was perhaps the worst phase of my life ever, and I hope it’ll stay that way. The beginning of 2018 felt like me finally getting over the big hurdle, that enormous halfway point at the top, and how it was all relatively smooth, downhill sailing from here. So it feels fitting that it was the beginning of the easier part that TOH was announced for me. All I knew were Luz, Eda, and King; I eventually gave up checking Dana’s accounts for art, because I was SO excited and impatient for this show, inexplicably.

That’s probably why I missed Dana’s little sneak peek of Amity Blight, haha... But anyhow, TOH gave me something to look forward to. Something to live for. And when I finally got a shot of Eda throwing treats to Luz and King, the former taken aback by the eyeball, the latter having it bounce off his skull. It didn’t make it to the final cut obviously, but it was my first glimpse of how the show itself would look.

I was in despair when The Owl House was delayed to 2020; I had to wait another whole year for it! And going from 2018 to 2019 was painful enough as is! But man... Was it worth it. The first teaser, the mystery and wonder it promised. My Bionicle brain freaking out over the reveal of the Boiling Isles as a giant corpse. 

And then the theme song. Me learning Luz’s VA, scouring very obscure media to get an idea of how she might sound like. And finally I heard it, we got other announcements; Eda by Wendie Malick, who made perfect sense, and King by Alex Hirsch, cue those obnoxious Bill Cipher theories I still hate to this day! 

Some crew members announced cupcakes they made, complete with banners like “Drinkers Coven” and I got hyped for this little content. I wanted to try cashew meringues because of it, and later recognized the repurposed frames of Luz, Eda, and King in actual episodes. I saw some concept art and expressions removed from the show, and was glad to recognize them later, as I did a frame-in-process of Luz wondering about her magical destiny.

I checked Tumblr but it seemed like I was the only person actively anticipating, and not just including TOH as part of a larger collection of media posts. I wanted TOH for itself, someone was curious if it had owls, I scoured the first teaser for a screenshot to satisfy them! I wanted more people in on it! I saw some clips, figured out Luz’s ethnicity from her squealing “Ay que lindo!” in response to King.

I made a few ancient posts, my first TOH post was me admitting I was excited and wondering if anyone else was. It got NO traction, at least not until much, much later... But that didn’t stop me! I had a dream where Luz was revealed to be disabled, her legs were prosthetics and Eda ended up giving her new magic prosthetics styled after owl feet. This would prove weirdly prophetic... Less so, my dream about Luz being the Anti-Christ (this was framed as a good thing), hence why she found the isles.

I speculated Luz was an orphan who had nobody, hence why she found the isles; But then an article mentioned her mother Camila. I went with that spelling until some end credits confused me with a typo that gave us Camilia, which led to a big fandom debate later until Dana clarified.

I analyzed the trailers, trying to figure out the plot and trajectory, wasn’t quite right there. I was happy to see TOH would have full 22-minute episodes, allowing them to get nitty gritty and elaborated, instead of truncated into 11-minute segments. Boy did that pay off, and looking back I can appreciate what a rarity that was, an achievement. People pointed out the anagram for me... 

I speculated on the titles, confused bits from Covention with scenes from the first episode, wondered if Escape of the Palisman referred to the tower. And in the end, the first episode finally came out, after I was enjoying Infinity Train Book 2, and I was enamored. It was wonderful, it utterly blew me away and was all I wanted and more. I had to get more! The moment Luz spoke of liking editing anime clips into AMVs and all that other stuff, I felt seen, and that was just the beginning.

I spoke my praises, but alas there was no fandom. The next week, I was surprised to find posts for the next episodes so early, and learned the episode was released ahead of time on DisneyNOW, so I immediately subscribed. I was excited to meet Amity Blight, Willow and Gus; And I was caught by surprise by how openly mean Amity was when she debuted! But I analyzed the sub-text of her actions and dialogue, and was vindicated. 

Amity was such a fun and interesting character because she really felt like a puzzle that we unlocked more and more pieces of, to better understand her. And I really got the sense of TOH’s re-contextualization and surprising character continuity, such as when King’s B-plot in one episode actually became the focus of the very next! You could tell the writers really cared about making a deeper story for kids and teenagers. 

One nice memory was when I wrote a post appreciating Willow and Luz’s friendship, the idea of Willuz as a ship; I took a shower and went back to check afterwards, and got notes! I analyzed the mechanics of glyphs deeply when they were first revealed, getting nitty-gritty; I remember the events of a few nights and what happened around me writing a post, comparing glyph magic to artificial replication of dragon breath!

I looked for crew art, which alerted me ahead of time to the existence of Emira and Edric, thought I didn’t know their names, and was delighted to learn Amity had older siblings!!! They were hers! Shoutout to @anistarrose who was one of the few people in the tag at this time. I really appreciate that post where you called out people constantly trying to make King into Bill Cipher in a serious manner, and the annoying implications of it. And how you realized a tweet poem by Dana foreshadowed Warden Wrath and the Emperor’s Coven... AND THE CODES TOO!!!

I distinctly remember this one meme video in the tags, a song singing “This girl is a lesbian” as Amity showed up as the punchline. I thought it was cute and loved the idea, I had no clue...! I even tried to analyze the dates on her diary entries because I was so obsessed with the show and wanted more, trying to see if I could figure out a calendar...

Spoiler alert, I didn’t. but it was FUN trying! Putting in all of this unnecessary effort for a detail nobody cared much for, because you could tell the crew were people who did the same, Dana even confirmed it later for herself! I remember being shocked about Eda having a curse, that one theory it was a Blight who did it. I suggested King being the Boiling Isles Titan, some Youtube channel even asked permission to use my post in discussing that theory! I was skeptical but checked and it was legit, and was pleased.

I went through that godforsaken Witch’s Apprentice game, realized too late the artifacts represented each episode and gave hints to the rest of 1A. I watched Look Hoo’s Talking, with Owlyvia and Horus, shout out to those who remember! I was amazed by Eda’s self-awareness in deciding things for Luz, especially after Luz briefly called it out in Covention. I found myself so ATTACHED to the characters, which makes sense since I hyped myself from the start!

I remember being surprised to see King wasn’t an overlord... Or was he? The original 2018 announcement suggested as such, but the way the show played around even after the premiere seemingly disproved it was fun. I speculated on what Luz’s magic track would be, enjoyed fanart of her in Potions as Eda was. Seeing Young Eda was a blast, and I remember being so distraught at the idea of her being cursed! I made a post wailing about it and Cat-Harman Mitchell commented LOL as I ranted about taking vengeance on the curser. Little did I know...!

I was afraid of a cliffhanger with Season 1A, but nope! Eda made it out despite the demon hunters! With a hiatus, I was left impatient and needing more. I scoured crew art, speculated on what Emperor Bellows would be like; Covention’s subtitles mispelled him as such, and Dana had to clarify in a tweet when 1B’s trailer released! I got into deep discussion with @fermented-writers-block about the show, about the mysterious owl mural.

I guess TOH was my first start at really analyzing a show from the start, especially since nobody else was around to do it for me. And coming fresh from reading the meta of those who did inspire me, I went HARD, reasoning that even if it was disproven, the process was fun! I analyzed snake motifs, the mysterious green hand that stole King’s crown. I made a whole diagram about parallels between Luz, between King and the Gildersnake, between ‘human counterparts’ to Amity and Willow and Gus. This definitely fed the revelation of Creepy Luz later on...

But yeah. To think the snakes did pay off with Luz’s palisman Stringbean; Back then people speculated as such with the title’s design, and I’m so happy to see it came through! I speculated on lore, wrote my first TOH fics, The Bile Coven and Amity’s Diary Entries, the latter of which I feel particular pride for since it was a character study of her that proved rather on the spot!

I was obsessed with the worldbuilding, came up with my own ideas. Imagined what Bellows and Kikimora were like. I waited IMPATIENTLY, and even had a dream where Eda was captured by Lilith, Kikimora, and Wrath, as well as some covenscouts... But then it was revealed her curse was a result of possession by the creature depicted on the mural; And it progressed to the next stage of converting her body to its own as she got more feral and escaped on her own!

The airship used by the Emperor’s Coven proved prophetic. And after 1B seemingly disproved this idea, 2A brought it back after all and I was delighted! TOH was and is a show that keeps giving for me, makes me feel rewarded for engaging with it, and is grateful even when I’m wrong, as Any Sport in a Storm’s B-plot attests. I made jokes about King being Mata Nui because I was a Bionicle fan. Someone saw a Grom poster in the background of a shot and suggested Lumity, but I didn’t get my hopes up... Hah.

There was a trailer that alluded to an episode of Luz and Eda in a snowy place; I knew of an article on TOH that mentioned a ‘Witch’s Arena’ at the Knee and guessed this was it. I liked the song that played because I associated it with TOH, found out for myself.

Rebecca Rose, shout out to one of the OGs talking about the show on Youtube! She made a wonderful video discussing Amity’s development and potential, speculating on her, and I felt SOOOO vindicated and followed her for it! As you know, she became THE fan channel for TOH, and was eventually ascended to a full-on crew member for it. We’d all watch her reactions and discussions afterwards.

Adventures in the Elements leaked, I correctly guessed it wasn’t the next episode but the one after it. I was delighted to see the twins be good siblings, and Amity’s casual outfit... Before that, I read a fic during the hiatus of Lilith adopting Amity from abuse (Remember when we thought she was that functional?), and it understandably depicted the twins as mean-spirited and basically apathetic. It was a good fic.

I remember joke-speculating that Bellows would be short, because I was projecting analyses of the Pale King from Hollow Knight onto him! I considered making an animatic of Farquaad’s reveal from Shrek but with Bellows, but alas I’d never actually done an animatic and had zero clue lol. I had another dream about Bellows coming in with the Emperor’s Coven to apprehend Eda, who became an even larger version of her Owl Beast form in response.

Then Summer 2020 came around. What a wonderful time of my life... New fans came in when they saw the possibility of canon sapphics with Lumity, and I was exhilarated! So careful not to get my hopes up, but look now... I was hyped to see Belos’ appearance. I analyzed the 1B trailer, took screenshots and organized them to guess which episodes they were. Rebecca Rose found foreign titles of 1B and translated them, and I did note how translations could skew the intended anagram. I remember “Mini-Problems” being an episode title...

You can probably guess the rest from here, since this was about when the fandom really kicked off. And boy did people stick around for it all. I felt delight in knowing Grom was sooner, due to Understanding Willow being paired with Really Small Problems on the same day! Two episodes at once, instead of the original plan for the last two episodes of the season together! I ended up regretting that low-key with the angst and pain of Agony of a Witch, which made me realize how much I cared for Luz, Eda, and King, and made me the closest to crying from the show.

I felt vindicated to see a popular artist like MoringMark begin making fan comics, I had no idea that’d be THE thing he’d be known for, after I knew him as the Gravity Falls guy. I followed Matthieu Cousin on Tumblr, got excited for that trend of dressing up TOH characters for Grom and sending in your designs, with a winner announced! I don’t think that ever happened. Anamanaguchi’s Prom Night became a thing thanks to a crew member, and who can forget Little Miss Perfect? Kwame rolled with the success and I was glad for him. Eda’s gray eye appearing after the season finale in the end credits shocked me.

There was the Reddit AMA, where I prepared lore questions afterwards and had none of mine answered, but we learned a good deal! Especially the telling “Clawthornes are a bird motif” from Dana, her being put into a headlock by a nun. Amity and Lilith weren’t close but as I mentioned a while back, Dana expressed that she also made connections with cartoons as a kid. Odalia liking her kids color-coded, hence Amity’s hair, and Alador being interesting. Which led to a bunch of fanart that proved off the mark but also not? Alador wasn’t THAT well-put but otherwise...

And that stream! That wonderful stream! I contemplated spending so much money via donation to get something. Eda drinking Apple Blood, Spencer Wan almost spoiling Lilith having a Raven form. Our first sneak peek at Hunter’s face, not counting his appearance as the Golden Guard in S1; We all guessed he and the Golden Guard, or “Owl Mask” were the same. I was stumped and baffled how he fit into Belos’ dynamic... Hoo boy. And we all thought Hunter was an adult, even Alador at first, because of those eye bags!

I wanted to see the coven heads, based on their banners we saw; I liked the Potion Head especially and even when his design proved different than I expected, it was still my favorite! I thought Darius might be a Blight grandfather and he DID have a connection... I had a dream of the twins working for Osran at a library and messing with him, recognized Mason from Covention, and dreamed Terra was named Botanica.

Christmas art of the cast came out, I was happy to see Emira and Edric happy there, after being saddened by Dana’s Grom art of them and even writing a whole fic about it, which I’m chuffed about! She also drew Mattholomule... I recall in the wait for Season 1B, she did some art of the characters. Gus playing games, Mattholomule losing to him; King despairing over stubby thumbs.

Fanart of the kids in quarantine, Amity declaring it’d be easy to stay away from Luz, to Luz’s sadness; Boscha being mad because she couldn’t talk to her friends. Remember when Boschlow was a big thing, until Understanding Willow killed off some of the hype? And confirmation that Willow worked out, which we saw come to fruition in Season 2; People were surprised but I wasn’t! And of course, Frewin being his own entity from Bump, and not Bump himself.

But back to chronology, I guess this is where I should end off. Sorry, this ended up being MUCH longer than I intended, and really you could write a book about my experience with TOH and the journey on a meta level. But those were interesting times, those beginning eras. Back when I didn’t feel the need to always add screenshots to posts unless necessary. And it’s making me nostalgic. It’s making me appreciate everything we’ve been through, the roots of my hyperfixation. And how it all led to me finally crying, because I really did build up THAT much of a love for the show.

I found my first fandom I really felt a part of, found so many people who enjoyed my meta and validated me for it! I feel I’ve grown so much as a person because of TOH. And as I nostalgically reminisce on how different the show was then, I appreciate all the more how far we’ve come, and what it is now. Snapping back to the present does make me sad over how much has passed and changed, but I also appreciate it while remembering the ideas I once had.

I’ll miss that era, and TOH as a whole. And boy do I associate that classic ending theme, how I loved the melancholy of those end credits, speculated on them paying off in the finale. And they did...! It feels good to hear it one last time after a year without it, due to the end credits being removed or redone. There was something so idyllic and dreamlike about that original sequence, capturing the feeling of coming home, and I’m glad TOH did that once more with it.

[punkitt-is-here]

It's fascinating to me to encounter people on the internet who choose explicitly not to say what their pronouns are.

To be clear, I respect your decision and applaud the firmness of your stance. I think that overall there should be less personal information on the internet and restricting pronouns is simply another step on the way to taking back internet privacy. The thing is, I have spent enough time, effort, money, and grief on the project that is myself that I am having difficulty grokking the desire not to have one's gender be known at all. I am totally disarmed by the attitude, and I attribute this entirely to my own experience growing up on the internet. I can no longer abide resigning myself to the perceived genericized maleness of the average internet user. I deliberately make my pronouns available I go on the internet, and I correct people in conversation when appropriate.

This is because, in my past experience (middle 2000s ongoing), if one did not have clear gender they got the masculine pronouns. Assigned Male By Forum Users wasn't just the default, it was the practice, the de facto, the un-inspected habit of the english speaking internet user. There Are No Girls On The Internet was then and to a degree still is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Even though it was obviously never the case, and that women have always been on the internet, sometimes it is easier to just go along with the flow to avoid the inevitable misogyny.

Keep it up, you funky little internet person. I like your horse comix! They are good.

Haha, I totally get it! When you work so hard on yourself, you want to make sure people see it right. I'm all for pronouns being readily available and stuff.

That being said, I like keeping em a secret for a couple reasons! They'll come out eventually, obviously, I'm a film student with a job and eventually someone from online is gonna meet me in-person and I'll be happy to let them know then and when I (IDEALLY) have a career that'll be public knowledge. I've got a perfectly good gender I'm very happy and comfortable with. For now, tho, since I've seen it a million times with artists online that i really love, I've found out that people tend to weaponize your gender/pronouns a lot. No matter what they are, too! I think I just get less weird comments and mail by just keepin' that shit a secret. Folks don't gotta know cuz it aint really that important. I like being able to speak online and not having one trillion internet strangers who think they know me because of some words in my bio cross-examine me every time I talk.

Also, it's fun! I've had people think I'm a cis girl, a trans guy, a trans girl, a cis guy, a nonbinary no-gender something or other, a neopronoun user, genderfluid...basically everything under the sun! And I think it's fun to see how people perceive me since I don't think you get that option a lot. It's honestly really fun to know that my online presence doesn't have any...like, gender coding to it, if that makes any sense? Because I've seen NO consistency in the guesses and I find that incredibly entertaining. Even some people who've known me for years passively online still use the incorrect pronouns cuz I've never clarified and I think that's just silly and fun. I'm glad to know that I'm very much not explicitly in any sort of "box" with the way I present myself, because I think gender is kinda silly in the first place.

So, uh, yeah! That's mostly my reasoning for not clarifying anywhere, hehe. :3c

[plounce]

emet-selch is a tragic figure obviously but i was thinking about how he's the most popular ffxiv character which is one of the reasons he played such a pivotal role in endwalker - obviously the primary reason is that his narrative threads hadn't been tied up and his story wasn't fully told, but him being a fan favorite doesn't hurt. and the thing about emet-selch is that he doesn't ever really realize the error of his ways. he grows to kind of respect you and he does help you, but his growth over the millennia is from seeing sundered people as familiars (unalive Things) to children - which still aren't adult humans. and i was thinking about what characterization a flashback like elpis serves, and one path taken could've been to have hades be a nicer person who is like "i would never do such atrocities" and have that be a contrast to what his grief twisted him into. but no, emet-selch protests that he'd make a fake amaurot, but doesn't seem especially aghast at the WoL's other accusations. and the thing about emet-selch is that he didn't change. he just got worse. his worst traits grew and grew because of his titanic grief and how he didn't have his loved ones with him (because one of ffxiv's themes is the importance of love and bonds in keeping someone in their brain) but he was not that different in terms of values. because he's an ancient, and the ancients could not adapt in that way. they could not cope with life-altering tragedy because they had never dealt with smaller tragedies. they would just continue sacrificing and feeding lives (both their own and those they don't consider Their Own People) into the maw of The Personification Of Tragedy rather than not go along with the current of fate and What Is Most Logical (and thus meteion found that nihilism is Most Logical...). and then i think "well emet-selch was able to stay mostly sane over the 12000 years of desolate living, compared to hollowed-out elidibus and cartoon craAaAaAzy villain lahabrea" and well... i guess it's one thing to be able to perservere, and another to be able to adapt to your surroundings. anyway. it's my turn at the cash register now. i continue to think about my sympathy for the devil

[dualityvn]

What is the relationship like between Keith and Tenebris? Is it closer to buddies or brothers?

Obviously they would be forced into a degree of closeness (sharing a body and thoughts is pretty intimate). And they depend on each other mutually - each tempering the extremes of the other and keeping each other safe.

But as anyone with siblings knows there are subtle differences in the ways people are close. Do they have deep love for each other, is it codependent, or just getting along? Does each man feel a different way?

Do they love each other in a way they make fun and punch the shoulder, or a bit softer, confiding things and comforting the other? Do they fight a lot outside of obvious extremes like one committing housebreaking or murder (serious or just bicker)? Hang out constantly in Keith’s head or when one is in the background they take time to themselves? (Ten being kept inside so much, does having Keith there help a lot at least mentally - I know Ten is touch starved - or is Tenebris still always horribly lonely? What does he have to occupy himself in there?)

Do they resent the arrangement at times still or find it more supportive than facing challenges alone? (Dating difficulties aside.) How much does pranking happen? Is it normal that they get petty and competitive or is that mostly jealousy/friction around competing for MC? Would they choose to separate if it was safe for both or would they not want that now?

A lot of the focus has been on their relationship with MC and less on what it’s like for them in their world.

They're like very close brothers. Though, the way they feel about each other does differ. Generally, they have a playful relationship, but they are also protective of one another.

Keith cares about Tenebris because he's the only person he can be fully honest with. He can act however he pleases without fearing that he will make a mistake. If he wants to be sarcastic, nag him, tease him or complain about something for the next hour, Tenebris won't mind any of it and will have no way of running away in the first place. He can tell him anything and everything and he will always receive comfort and support.

Although Tenebris is older, he greatly admires Keith. Ever since they were young, he took on the role of a teacher and patiently explained everything related to humans after learning it himself from parents and teachers. He's never hated Tenebris for entering his body and causing him so much grief and trauma. So Tenebris looks to him for guidance whenever he needs it. And acts as a guard in return, knowing that Keith doesn't have the courage to harm people who threaten him.

They do like to tease each other from time to time. Bickering and downright fighting happens rarely. MCs arrival in their life was the first time so much conflict was created between the two of them. And they do talk a lot inside the mind if one isn't distracted by something going on outside.

As for separation, they would want it, but they wouldn't want to be apart for good. They'd still try to spend a lot of time together, would come to each other for advice or whenever they feel down and continue to share all of their thoughts honestly.

[angry-kid-with-no-money]

Okay soo I’m procrastinating like five other things I should be doing right now- mostly school work- but I’ve been having many thoughts about a grishaverse/aftg crossover au and I needed to get them all out so

Tada

mandatory spoiler warning for shadow and bone trilogy

-Neil as Alina, obviously. Non-negotiable. He would be the overpowered MC if there was magic in aftg and we all know it

-obviously in the books, alina does not have a family that we know of, but in my little au, Nathan works for the Ravka gov and Mary gives up Neil bc she can tell he’s gonna be a powerful grisha I guess? I don’t care that that’s not really a thing, it is now

-anyway- Andrew is Mal. I’ve talked extensively about how similar I think Mal and Andrew are as characters, especially in the way that they are both so protective over the people they care about, to the point of being self-sacrificial but they cannot cope with someone doing the same for them, in fact both of them get angry with their significant others for attempting to ‘save’ them. I also think for both of them, this behaviour stems from seeing themselves as less than the people around the, we see it more obviously with Mal but I think Andrew is the same

-so in this au Andrew and neil are childhood friends, they grow up together in the orphanage and stuff. I haven’t thought much about fitting aaron and nicky into this so they may just be not related in the au tbh

-the two of them join the second army as we know- Andrew as a tracker and Neil as a junior cartographer- and during an attempted crossing of the fold, neil’s summoner powers reveal themselves

-in the books, prior to using her powers, alina is described as pale, sallow, sickly-looking, generally unattractive, and we discover that this sick appearance is caused by her suppressing her powers. Anyway, I think that prior to using his powers, neil has very dull blue eyes and his hair is more brown than auburn but afterwards we get the bright blue eyes and auburn hair Andrew is obsessed with

-the darkling is kevin btw- originally I had him as Ichirou but wrote myself into a whole I couldn’t get out of so evil kevin it is

-ichirou is Vasily, and riko is nikolai, the king is kengo and annoyingly in aftg riko’s mother is not named so we’re sticking with Tatiana

-back to kevin- I debated between abi and Kaleigh for a while but I’m gonna go with Kaleigh as Baghra just because I love her and I get more creative freedom with her personality. Wymack is ilya so he’s dead, soz

-we also get the absolute joy of Andrew, kevin, riko, and Ichirou fighting over neil despite neil being madly in love with Andrew and not even realising it

-even though alina was somewhat reckless about the amplifiers she was still wary of the risks and such, I think neil would be far more reckless, I don’t think he would has hesitated as much to kill the stag or the water serpent and instead the issue would be kevin’s men being closer behind them than they’d thought and catching up at the last second

-I don’t think anything would have slowed neil down once he’d set his sights on the goal of collect all three amplifiers and destroy the fold, he would have been non stop going and dragging Andrew along with him, up until he realises he has to kill Andrew at which point everything comes to a crashing halt

-neil would be much less willing to believe it, he would be convinced Andrew had made a mistake and there was still a firebird out there somewhere, just denying it and denying it and denying it until he physically can’t anymore, and once he’d accepted Andrew was the amplifiers he’d be helplessly looking for other ways that didn’t involve him dying up until the last second. Even then, I think Andrew would be doing the majority of the work towards neil killing him.

-the last battle of siege and storm would just be neil in a haze of rage and grief, absolutely merciless because Andrew was always the voice of reason, the one to stop him from going too far, but he can’t anymore because andrews Dead

-I think the aftermath, where neil finds out that andrew’s been brought back to life would a haze as well. He doesn’t quite believe it’s real but also it has to be because he doesn’t know what he’d do with himself if it wasn’t. it’s neil’s idea to fake his death, not to protect his egacy but to keep Andrew safe, to start again somewhere knew

-if you thought they were codependent and attached at the hip in aftg, it is nothing compared to how they act post andrew’s resurrection

-yeah, sometimes neil misses his power, missing the feeling of being invincible, but he’d rather never have that again then even risk losing andrew’s presence by his side

-I still have not read rule of wolves/king of scars so pls don’t talk to me abt that

-I will maybe add more in the future, especially of the middle of the trilogy because I mostly just hit the beginning and end

[vetrenar]

Ok, the second part of my rambles or why hugging Knives should be considered a form of convention weapon and must be used as often as possible.

A little disclaimer: what I'm gonna to talk about is applied mostly to Stampede and manga Knives. Not so much to 98, because while, objectively speaking, there is no reason for it, I kind of have a feeling that other two would very like to punch him to a pulp. The guy has an incredibly punchable face.

...Sorry, wrong picture.

Now, a question. Does Vash love Knives?

Yes, of course. Despite everything Knives did, Vash still consider him his brother and wants them to put away their difference.

Next question: Does Knives feel this love? Or, maybe, I'll paraphrase a bit: does he believe in it?

And here things become tricky. Because yeah, at some level Knives knows that Vash loves him. His little brother is a kind creature, after all, that's ready to share his heart with the whole world. He wants to save humans, wants to save Plants, why not to want to save Knives too, in this mix?

The problem is, Vash, bless his heart and everything, is a damn hypocrite. He gives promises that he isn't able to keep, runs from places to places doing essentially nothing and always, always, always, puts humans first.

So yeah, he loves Knives. Just as he loves his sisters, or maybe worms on this planet. As long as humans are safe, Vash is ready to feel sorry for them, or maybe even ask for forgiveness for everything humans put them through. They'll become better, one day.

And the worst part? Knives isn't exactly wrong in his assessment. Because Vash does put humans first, Stampede especially. And although a big part of the reason for that comes from his guilt complex and well, Knives, maybe you should have thought it a little better before putting it on your brother, but the fact stays: between a Plant and a human, Vash will instinctively choose a human.

Now, let's talk about the aftermath of Tessla's case. Stampede very suspiciously omitted most part of it, showing only Knives' choice of Vash's memories (and keep in mind that the whole point of that showcase was to break Vash, so Knives' "confession" of his motivations can't be taken at face value) and I will die on the hill that in the second season we're going to get Knives' round of it, but for now, let's go with the manga.

We know how it did go: while Vash had his emotional breakdown, Knives fell into coma. It isn't clear, did he faked his amnesia or not but even he didn't, the subconscious trauma still stayed.

And the first thing he saw after waking up? Vash and Rem, laughing together.

Think about this. Vash saw the extent of Knives shock, watching his brother being comatose for days. Even though he wasn't conscious, Vash had an affirmation that his twin shares his grief. Knives, though? He didn't have a chance to see Vash's resentment, desperation and anger. For him, his brother just... Brushed it off. Made a peace with it. And even if the wording was different, even if he was told something like "I understand if you're angry" - Knives already lost his affirmation. He had no chance of showing his anger, not when his twin was so calm about the matter and obviously decided to stay at humans side.

For Knives, Vash has already abandoned him for humans. Forgiveness is a thing that exist for sake of a victim, not a perpetrator, but Vash has already forgave theirs, therefore forcibly dragging Knives along before he even really started to proceed everything.

And so, Knives acted as he, with this mental block, was allowed to:

... And you know the reason of the story.

And after that? Constant arguing about how they should forgive and accept humans. (For manga, it's after the Fall, but in Stampede it started already on the ship. I'm sure that Knives read Bible before, just like he watched war movies before in manga. But after Tessla, he started to see evil there). Open expressions of fury, fear and hate from somebody who is never bothered to even become a bit angry on their sisters' behalf. A gun in your face after you saved his life.

Yeah, Vash's feeling are much more complicated than that. Alas, Knives doesn't have much chance to see that. From his point of view, Vash is ready to forgive humans everything, but Knives? He gets a gun and speeches how they all should live in peace. With a great plan mostly consisting of Plants forgivinig humans until they become better.

So, at some point Knives just... stops listening. He already knows what his brother thinks about him. It doesn't matter. Knives won't let Vash's hate stop his love for him. Gunshots, Vash's cries of anger, pain, fear - it all become a white noise that should be ignored.

Ignore when they hurt you, just do your thing and come to them again and again, and one day they will listen to you? Ironically, but for most part, it's exactly how Knives tries to act with Vash. Well, in his own, a bit psychotic, version of things, with him not only waiting but also taking some actions. (Ok, a lot of actions.)

And it's incredible how all that cold and collected persona dissipates on 12 ep of Stampede, where Knives is left with nothing but a desperation to make his brother understand. Only for Vash, when Knives lays his heart bare, to reject him. Again.

And Vash has his own reasons. Completely understandable reasons, I would say, because while he is a superhuman only in physical sense on things. He had his own anger, and pain, and fear, and inner struggle. Knives hurt him enormously and there is no wonder that Vash doesn't want to give up his stance. And he shouldn't, really. But...

Knives isn't strong, at least, mentally. He created this illusion of being the older, the one in charge, to protect himself (in Stampede, this illusion starts a bit earlier, with him being the "perfect Independent" who for some reason should hide his powers and "weak" Vash, who is, by Rem's words, "perfect as he is") but in the end this made-up hierarchy harmed both him and Vash, locking them in their respective positions. And Knives was motivated by fear, he wanted protection, wanted Vash to stand up for him - something what Vash, who for so many years saw Knives as the strongest one, the one who decides, the one who must be defeated, wasn't capable to do and had no idea about. He had his own personal growth to do, and couldn't be the mentally senior figure Knives needed.

And that's why one day I going to write this fic about TriMax Vash finding himself in Stampede world. These idiots clearly need an older brother.

For Knives, Vash was the one who abandoned him, again, again and again. The one who blabbed about love and peace while aiming a gun at him. For over hundred years, there was only one case when Vash prioritized Knives over everything else, took his side clearly enough that there were no ways left for Knives to doubt it.

And guess what? This single act snapped Knives out his frenzy better that all these bullets before that.

And I'm quite sure that Stampede plot could be quite shorter if upon that meeting five years after the Fall, Vash would confirmed that yes, he understood Knives' ire before confronting him over humans death. Like, the kid was one hug away from breaking down. Too bad that he never allowed himself acknowledge it.

So, the moral of the story: hug your Kniveses. Be cautious, though, because while Vashes bite, Kniveses... Let's say that they aren't very good for your extremities. Assert your dominance with care and don't force them to bottle up their anger, even unintentionally. If you do it right, everything will be fine.

... Well, maybe. Hope for the best, one day it surely will be alright.

[wildwinterlunas]

Hello!

Do you think you could give me a couple of headcanons on Ana's 'death'? Like what characters did or how they acted? Personality shifts?

How did they act when they found out?

Was hoping someone could give me more insight on how characters would act. Currently doing a psychological analysis on Torbjorn and Reinhardt's backstory as well. Might do one for Som and Cas.

Ok first things first, you need to tell me when you post those, I LOVE the psychological analysis of characters.

Now for the actual ask bit.

It's safe to say that everyone was devastated when Ana died, whether they were on good terms with her at the time or not. The specifics, however, vary from character to character.

The Old Guard

We know by that point both Torbjorn and Reinhardt had left Overwatch, so I think that after her death they both would have felt really isolated. Especially Reinhardt since it's very much implied that some Overwatch agents were avoiding him due to the nature of how he retired, Angela actively encouraging Tracer to visit him in a way that implies that not many people do. However I think they both handled her death better then a lot of others that were also heavily effected. Mostly because unlike those people, they had a support network. Though I do still think that Rein never really got over her death, he just accepted it better then others. We also see that with both of them there wasn't much personality change after her death, or at least not a permanent change.

Jack and Gabe on the other hand, did not take it well. We know that after Ana's death that they both started fighting more. We also know that Jack never really thought that Ana was dead while Reyes probably did with how he speaks about the situation. I think they both tired to hide what they were going through. Jack isolating himself while Reyes had already made every relationship he had hostile, I think at this point Jack was acting out of desperation while Reyes was just angry at the world. In all honesty, the way Soldier 76 and Reaper act, started when Ana died, it was just wasn't as extreme.

The New Guard

(I'm including Pharah in this because she's the only New Blood with connections to Ana)

With a lot of the new guard I think they didn't have a personal relationship with Ana, the exceptions being Cassidy, Sojourn, Angela and Pharah. Tracer, Winston and Genji kind of treated Ana as a boss or a teacher, and they still kind of do that in interactions. I think her death still affected them but not in a permanent way and not in the way that other deaths affected them (like how Lena and Winston would have reacted to Jack and Mina's deaths). They were all still devastated, because to them Ana was probably this unbeatable figure, not only that but they still knew her.

Angela is an interesting case because she had already suffered through so much death and heart ache by this point. I think by this point she would have been numb, she was sad obviously, and I think she might have blamed herself a bit. We know by this point her and Ana's relationship was strained, along with her and Torbjorns. I think that with Ana's death it made Angela reconcile with Torbjorn. We know that she was also one of the few people who still visited Rein as well so I like to think they all grieved together. Like Rein though I think she never got over Ana's death, we already know that she doesn't do well with goodbyes and she already doesn't deal with the death of her parents that well. Honestly for a good view on how Angela deals with death I highly recommend ready her short story or her data logs.

I think Cassidy and Sojourn were the only people who kept it together during the immediate aftermath of Ana's death. Like everything I think Sojourn probably handled herself the best, she honestly the most put together of the cast so she either dealt with her grief healthily or got therapy. As for my boy Cassidy....

We can't talk about how he dealt with it without talking about Pharah.

We don't see much of how Fareeha delt with the news of Ana's death, we know that she's a bit bitter about the current circumstances and I think that it was a bit of the same for Ana's death. I personally think that the only people she really talked about it with were Cassidy and Angela, other than that I think she would have thrown herself in her work. I also theories that since Cassidy was the one tasked with either finding Ana or finding out what happened to her, that he was the one to tell her that Ana was dead. I also think that her death the reason she works so hard is because she thought she never got the chance to prove Ana wrong and join Overwatch, I also think it's why that despite how complicated their relationship is now she still wants Ana in her life. I think Pharah would have always felt guilty about not reconciling before Ana's death.

I've talked a lot about how I think Cassidy was affected by Ana's death, because there is a lot about this that isn't show but is really implied. We know that Reyes put Cassidy on looking for Ana, so out of everyone in the Overwatch cast, other then Ana herself, Cassidy probably knows the most about her "death" then anyone else. I personally believe that this is when a lot of Cassidy toxic habits started coming in, the masking of his trauma and pain, the alcoholism, the use of humour to cope, I think this is where all of that and more started to rear it's head and root itself into Cassidy's character. I think that Cassidy is also like Pharah in the fact he threw himself into his work, I also think he acted as an emotional crutch for everyone else, hiding his pain to the point where only Angela and Jack could see it, everyone else assuming he's fine because Cassidy was always fine.

In all honesty, if Reyes killing Antonio was the death sentence of Overwatch, then Ana's death was the nail in the coffin.