#along with BtVS and HP

[weakforarwen]

Same anon who asked about the episode reviews here. I love that my previous ask made you smile. I do genuinely appreciate reading your words. I first discovered your through btvs/ats, and I love your thoughts regarding that as well. As for your Merlin thoughts, you’re actually the one who won me over on Arwen. Full disclosure, I’m a merthur shipper (mainly in fanon though cause canon with them at times is a little eek but there are fantastic stories out there), and I didn’t really see the appeal to Arwen until you started talking about the show. Now, I love them just as much and more so in canon, so thank you for sharing your thoughts so passionately. Also, fyi, I don’t know if you have it, but Merlin is on Amazon prime still.

Hi!!!! This is so sweet!!! You read my Buffyverse posts too? That's so touching! I feel so happy knowing I made you love Arwen! Success!! That was my masterplan all along hehe.

Yeah, I get being a Merthur shipper in fanon. There are a lot of ships that aren't great in reality, or that are between characters that barely interact, yet have amazing fanfiction haha! I've read some HP fics so I'd know.

"Passionately"... that's a way of putting it haha. Thank you so much for this, it makes me so happy <3. I'm so curious about your views on BtVS/AtS. Are you a follower? Would I recognize your url? I'm always so curious about my anons!

My mom has Amazon Prime but I boycott Amazon in general tbh so I don't watch it. But I didn't know Merlin was on there so thanks for telling me!

And thanks so much for the ask!!! You're the sweetest!!! This made my day!!! Come chat any time!

[nonasuch]

Today I listened to the Rent cast album for the first time in... a number of years, and it sure does hit differently now that I’m an adult and not an extremely sheltered suburban tween.

(the first time I heard any of the songs was at Jewish sleepaway camp in the Poconos. yes, really. we sang it on hikes. the girl who actually owned the cast album was in a different bunk, so I exclusively heard the ‘as sung by 12-14 year old girls’ version until I got home. yes, the lyrics were bowdlerized)

anyway! some notes:

Mark’s mom is still very funny and her voicemail is, perhaps, the most realistic thing in this musical.

I was definitely well into my 20s before I noticed that a Tom Collins is also a cocktail? whoops

wow but Benny looks different to me that he did when I was younger. like. the things his friends are mad at him for are Very Different from the things he does that are actually bad?

actually let me break this down.

Things Benny’s Friends Are Mad At Him For:

leaving them behind to marry a bougie lady

gentrification

‘stealing’ Mimi from Roger

Things Benny Does That Are Genuinely Bad:

cheats on his wife with a 19-year-old HIV+ heroin addict

okay, yeah, gentrification, I’ll grant you that

Things Benny Does That Are Good, Actually:

lets his friends live in the building he owns rent-free for a year

pays for Mimi’s rehab

left what must have been an absolute nightmare of a living situation, to marry a bougie lady

seriously can you imagine what that apartment was like

an unheated squat occupied by Benny, Mark, Roger, Collins, and Maureen? nope, no thank you

also Roger has only been clean for six months at the start of the musical, so he was still a full-blown heroin addict when Benny left

actually I would bet that the sequence of events went: April kills herself (IN THEIR BATHROOM) -> Roger spirals even further -> Benny gets the fuck out of there

and tbh good for him

anyway

I don’t love that they make the same “Maureen is a lesbian now, lol” joke twice in the space of like five minutes

the timeline of “Maureen dumps Mark, keeps him as her production manager for a month, then replaces him two days before her show” is... bad. Mark, you have a noodle for a spine.

Joanne’s parents’ voicemail: also still funny. “and wear a bra!” is perfect.

btw Joanne and Mark are both clearly slumming so idk why it’s only bad when Benny does it

hey it’s actually very fucked up that Angel killed Benny’s dog???

not sure when I first noticed this, but Mark, Roger and Collins all use he/him pronouns for Angel, and Mimi, Joanne and Maureen use she/her. huh.

“I’ll Cover You” is still extremely good.

Collins and Joanne are the only adults in this musical.

“Over the Moon” is a perfect parody of bad performance art, so props for that

oh good, “La Vie Boheme” still slaps

I have a lot more sympathy for the Life Cafe waitstaff than I used to, though

btw please envision 13-year-old me, on a hike in the Pennsylvania woods, with 20 other 13-year-olds who are all word-perfect on “La Vie Boheme” but definitely don’t know what a dildo is and kind of mumble their way through the swears.

god I loved “Take Me Or Leave Me” so much as a kid but WOW Maureen would be a nightmare to date IRL

tbh everyone except Collins and Angel should just like. be single for a while. take some time to work on themselves.

you know what, my decision to skip “Contact” on most play-throughs was both correct and, in retrospect, a Big Ace Mood

unsurprisingly, the reprise of “I’ll Cover You” still makes me tear up.

“What You Own” isn’t bad, as such, but it does make me roll my eyes at both Mark and Roger. Especially Mark. my dude, you have by far the fewest problems of any of your friends, and you need to take it down a notch.

the little moment where Mark corrects “Muffy” to “Alison” is really interesting to me? the implication is that they know her well enough now to feel bad about the nickname. I choose to believe that Alison is actually way too good for Benny and his friends all come to recognize that.

aw, Roger. “Your Eyes” is very heartfelt. it’s not good, but it’s heartfelt.

I still like the finale a lot, but boy, these kids have a LOT of problems, huh.

hm apparently I have extensive opinions about what would happen to the characters over the next 25 years.

okay just right off the bat: I doubt that Mimi lives more than a year. sorry! but her odds are Not Good

I would like to think that Roger makes it a little longer than Mimi -- at least long enough to record an album

does Benny bankroll the album and get him a record deal, out of guilt? probably.

does Roger, when he dies, leave the IP and royalties to Mark anyway? also probably

his album reaches a Jeff Buckleyesque level of posthumous cult fame, which is nice for him

sometimes he is featured in listicles about 12 Artists Who Recorded Their Last Albums As They Died

assuming Alison doesn’t leave his dumb ass, I would like to think that Benny chills the fuck out and learns some empathy once they have kids

regrettably, he probably does manage to become a dot-com billionaire

Joanne is 100% married and living in DC by today, and she and her wife both work on the Hill. I can guarantee that they send their kids to either Sidwell Friends or the Maret School. maybe Duke Ellington for high school

Maureen has joined a cult at least once and has almost no contact with her friends from her New York days 

I bet she’s the only one who actually lives in the Southwest now

she goes to Burning Man every year without fail

Mark has never made a commercially successful film

he still lives in New York, though

mostly because the royalties from Roger’s lone album let him buy into a co-op before he could get priced out of Manhattan

some of his old footage has made its way into various documentaries, most recently on Netflix

in his free time he volunteers at an after-school program where he teaches filmmaking to at-risk youth

they keep trying to get him on tik-tok but he doesn’t understand what that is

Collins is happy, healthy, gainfully employed in meaningful work, and in love.

FIN

[make-me-imagine]

Tumblr Writers Q&A Tag

I've had some thoughts and questions about tumblr writers for a while, curiosity and all that. So I thought I would make up a little Question Tag of my own, made up of questions I've seen asked before, or things I thought of myself.

I will answer my questions myself as well, and tag some mutuals and other writers to answer them too.

Feel free to play along, and answer or tag your writer friends!

- - - - -

1. How many complete fics/oneshots do you have (that you have not published (yet))? Currently, I have 2 finished fics, and three parts of a nine part series finished.

2. How many WIPS do you have right now? I have 1 WIP, and about 3 or 4 outlined fics.

3. Do you take writing requests or write original ideas, or both? I take requests mainly, but I also write original ideas.

4. If you do take requests, how many do you currently have? Currently, I have about 49 requests. (The oldest of which are a year old, yikes lol)

5. How many fandoms do you write for? I have about 35 fandoms I write for, but I only "actively" write for about 10.

6. Are there any fandoms you wrote for in the past, that you no longer write for? I don't really write for HP anymore. I also don't write or Bones, NCIS, CIS, Percy Jackson, or Narnia anymore. I also used to do gif imagines for any show whether I knew it or not.

7. Do you write for ships, reader inserts, or other? I write for reader inserts only (I try to always do gender neutral).

8. Niche fandoms/characters you write for? Jane Austen movie/show adaptations, Stargate, Lark Rise to Candleford, Btvs, Magnificent Seven.

9. Do you read fics as well as write them? I do not read fics nearly as often as I used too, but I try to read them when they come across my dash from my mutuals and fave writers.

10. What is your favorite genre (angst/fluff/whump/etc) to write for? I love to write fluff and romance.

11. What is your favorite trope (to read and/or write)? To read: idiots to lovers, whump, or mutual pining. To write: Soulmate aus, friends to lovers, and whump/comfort.

12. What do you do to get motivated to write? I re-watch the shows/movies related to my fandoms, or I occasionally read other fics from tumblr.

13. Is there a trope/genre you like to read, but not write? Fics that involve crossovers of fantasy or are completely changed from the fandom canon. Though I wouldn't say I read these often.

14. Any characters/fandoms you want to write for that are never requested? Plenty, like the fandoms Stargate, Prodigal Son, Magnificent Seven, and Star Wars. Some more niche characters in the MCU.

15. How long have you been writing fanfiction? Since 2017.

16. Did you read fanfiction before you started writing? Yes, it is what made me want to write in the first place.

17. Do you only post on tumblr, or other sites as well? (feel free to promote). I mainly post on tumblr, but I post a majority of my fics on Ao3 (make_me_imagine).

18. What do you personally consider the word counts of "drabbles", "oneshots" and "fics" (+other?)? In my own personal "definition", I usually consider drabbles anything from 50-650 words (anything less is a "blurb"). Oneshots are 651-1100, while "fics" are 1100+. (these are all give or take some). It also depends a bit on the amount of dialogue vs description.

19. Which do you prefer to write more? Headcanons, Drabbles, Oneshots/Fics, Multi-Chapter Stories, or other? I prefer to write fics in the range of 2k+ words, but I often struggle to hit that mark. I would also love to write more multi-chapter fics in the future.

20. Are there any stories you have discontinued? If so, why? I have a Sam Wilson x Fm!Reader story called "Worthy" that I have not added on to in 4 years. I might re-write it. I also have a Star Trek, Jim x FM!Reader story that I do plan to continue, I'm just not sure when. Neither of these stories got a lot of traction or reblogs, and I just kind of gave up on them.

21. What is one of your main "pet-peeves" as a writer on tumblr? People that request fics and then do not react to them at all. They might like it, but that is it. No reblog, comment or other acknowledgment. (Its worse when you know they saw it). Also people who refuse to reblog, or just lack of reblogs in general.

22. Do you write at a particular time of day? I find I write the best in the late-morning, or evening, never mid-day. Specific times would be 10-12am; and 9-10 pm. I usually reserve these times to write, and often get entire fics done within those timelines.

23. Do you listen to music, ambiance/noise, etc. to write, or do you need silence? Sometimes I listen to ambiance sounds, or instrumental music, but only if there is stuff going on in the room around me that is distracting. Otherwise I prefer silence. And I cannot listen to regular music, because I get distracted by it.

24. Do you outline your fics at all before writing? Most of the time yes. I never used too, but I find that it helps keep me on track, especially if there is a specific scene or prompt I want to include. Though sometimes I completely de-rail and write something totally different, which is fine.

25. Do you post your writing as soon as you finish it, or do you schedule it to come out at a specific time/day? About 95% of the time nowadays, I write fics ahead of time, and post them all throughout the next week, or the following days. Sometimes I write fics the night before, or even the morning of, but it depends on when the last time I posted was. Time-wise, when I schedule fics, I schedule them to come out at 7am my time.

- - - -

Tags: No pressure at all btw! @spuffyfan394, @whimsical-daydreams, @magravenwrites, @gaitwae, @bwemph, @cosplayingwitch, @thefallenbibliophilequote, @witchygagirl, @imaginefandoms, @thranduilsperkybutt, @whatif-animagineblog, @trashywritestrash, @peter-parkers-cullen-nerd - and Open Tag for any writer who wants to answer these!

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter - Sunday, December 5

Giles: Yes, well, I, uh, I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, I, in fact I... well, I encourage you to, to always, uh, challenge me, uh, when you feel it's appropriate. You should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance, when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong.

~~I Only Have Eyes for You~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Rumor Has It (James Bond crossover, Buffy/James Bond, NR)  by pprfaith

Childhood's End (Teen Wolf crossover, Buffy/Derek Hale, NR)  by pprfaith

We'll Meet Along the Way (Buffy/Spike, NR)  by Hannah

Fragments of Faith (Faith/Buffy, M)  by scaetterling

King of the World (Buffy/Spike, T)  by apachefirecat

Daddy's Little Vampire (Buffy/Spike, R)  by SzmattyCat

We'll Meet Along the Way (Buffy/Spike, G)  by Cosmic Tuesdays

[Chaptered Fiction]

You're My What? Complete (Stargate SG-1 crossover, Faith/Buffy, T)  by MercurialMagpie

i'm a wreck (when i'm without you) Chapter 3 (Faith/Buffy, T)  by little_brown_songbird

Buffy's Father Chapter 40 (Stargate SG-1 crossover, Joyce/Daniel Jackson, T)  by Vidicon666

Letters Chapter 12 (Faith & Tara, T)  by BuffyBot3000

Death Is Buffy's Next Big Adventure Chapter 68 (HP crossover, Buffy/Tom Riddle, T)  by Sharie1

Flash Back Chapter 14 (Hellsing crossover, Cordelia/Xander, M)  by Razial

Chain of Ascension Chapter 4 (Buffy/Xander, E)  by GraeFoxx

but i never thought i'd live to see it break Chapter 5 (Jenny/Giles, T)  by titleoftheperaltiagosextape

Rest Stop Chapter 5 (Faith/Buffy, E)  by SheaMcK

The Slayer's Protector Chapter 22 (Buffy/Angel, M)  by OtherCharacterNut

Purpose Is But The Slave To Memory Complete (Buffy/Spike, NC17)  by Touchstoneaf

You Can't Fight Fate - But You Can Piss Him Off Chapter 15 (Batman crossover, Faith, FR13)  by Hermionetobe

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: BTVS “Every Outfit” “Teachers Pet” part 2 Xx  by whatshisfaceblogs

Artwork: The Kiss, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, May 21 2002  by snakeliciousbaby

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 3 Review  by riley lynn

[Reviews & Recaps]

Rewatch: Buffy season 3  by charlottenewtons

I've never seen Buffy until I watched episode 7 of season 5 ten times in 17 hours  by Dr Jess Eggy

I've now seen the first 4 Seasons and 7 Episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Episode 7 Season 5 Twelve Times  by Dr Jess Eggy

[Fandom Discussions]

Season 7 Rewatch - Discussion on The Killer in Me  by debbicles and Stoney

Independence/strength, are they overly tied to being single?  by flow, vampmogs and Stoney

Reactions to the past and responses to trauma  by Stoney

This scene… this episode… the sadism of Angelus has no limits  by Richar_16

Normal Again is one of the most underrated episodes  by geetwo_g2

Ben/Glory  by northeastbalancer

Dawn - A surprise?  by Minoman92

In honor of Amy Acker's birthday, what are some of your favorite Fred/Illyria moments  by moviephil4315

The world  by northeastbalancer

Drusilla & Angel  by NikkolasKing

History question  by Reviewingremy

This being a primarily Angel fan site are there any members that root for Spike in Destiny?  by TigerJean

Between Giles and Wesley, who would you want as a mentor if you became a demon hunter?  by edd6pi

My ultimate btvs hot take  by comradesummers

I do think that the only reason spike had to assault buffy as the catalyst for his redemption is...  by froggierboy

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

Read Julie Plec's Buffy the Vampire Slayer spec script  at lets-steal-an-archive

Meet Old Woman Buffy in This Preview of Buffy The Last Vampire Slayer  at Bleeding Cool

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter Join the editor team

[miyamorana]

First Lines

Stolen from @katvonbirb

Rules are: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line.

—

Tinsel and Mistletoe (VLD)

The sun is peeking through the curtains, the single ray of pale morning light landing right on his eyelid. Lance grabs the edge of his bedsheet and drags it over his face, smothering the light and silently cursing his past self for not properly drawing the curtains shut.

There Be Dragons (HP)

Harry and his godfathers move to London just after his 11th birthday. Sirius’ estranged mother passed away, and he inherited his childhood house.

Finally Free (JatP)

They’re arguing about the harmonies of their newest song when Flynn pushes open the door and announces that Julie and her need to talk about outfits.

“We don’t even have our next gig yet,” Luke replies. “We should finish working out this bridge before talking about costumes.”

Something Cosmic (RNM)

Guerin is… No, not Guerin, Alex admonishes himself. Michael. Michael is waiting for him by the car, leaning against it in a very cowboy posture, thumbs in the belt loops of his pants. He seems relaxed, but the way he quickly licks his bottom lip as he looks at Alex betrays his nerves. Alex smiles softly, pushing down his own nerves knotting his throat.

In the Morning (RNM)

Michael wakes up to a thundering headache, which isn’t fair. He didn’t even have anything to drink – he’s not stupid, he knows his metabolism doesn’t handle alcohol well. He does remember the taste of punch on his lips though. No. Not on his lips.

Rush (TW)

The snow creeks under Stiles’ feet, a soft, muffled sound in the stillness of the night. Everything is soft in the park. Muted, somehow, even though he can see in details he wouldn’t have been able to make out in daylight before.

Recommencement (Merlin)

Arthur déplaça la bougie afin de pouvoir lire le nom de la petite ville à l’orée de la forêt, faisant attention de ne pas faire couler de cire sur la carte. Il n’était pas sûr de quand la nuit était tombée exactement, mais les lampes avaient été allumées et une assiette de nourriture, toujours pleine et désormais froide, avait été posée à côté de lui. 

Of Magic and Duty (LoL)

Sometimes, Darius wonders how long Zaun is going to last before some experiment accidentally turns its already heavily polluted atmosphere completely toxic, or maybe simply makes the whole place explode. He just hopes it doesn’t happen while he’s there. That would be a very disappointing way to die.

In Earth’s Cradle (DA2)

Fenris moves through the battle, Fade-stepping to get faster, to dodge attacks and projectiles. One second he’s not-quite-there, and the enemy sword is ripping through air, the next he’s material again, his fist becoming solid inside the soldier’s chest, flesh and bone ripping to make space for him.

He’ll Bite (CA)

Sam’s the one who finds Bucky, or maybe Bucky finds Sam, neither mentioned much about how it happened but now Bucky’s sitting in Sam’s kitchen, hands wrapped around a warm cup of coffee, and Steve doesn’t know what to say.

Sugar and Spice (Angel)

Wolfram & Hart is no more, and Angel Investigations moved back into the Hyperion hotel. Spike tagged along, because really he has no other place to go to, and he did help save the world after all. (“Twice!” he would insist on pointing out.)

It Must Be (BtVS)

“You cannot tell anyone,” Anya hears as she walks past the door to Dawn’s room.

She stops, carefully tiptoes towards said door and presses her ear against the wooden panel. What is Dawn up to this time? With the First after them, they really don’t have time for more of Dawn’s teenage crisis. She thought they were past this.

Derrière la Porte (TW)

Pourquoi est-ce que personne ne lui avait dit que les études universitaires, c’est dur? Stiles se masse le front dans l’ascenseur, essayant de faire disparaître le début de mal de tête qu’il sent déjà poindre. Il est tard, plus tard que l’heure à laquelle il rentre d’habitude, et son portable n’a plus de batterie, aussi espère-t-il que Derek ne se soit pas trop inquiété.

Sleepless (DA2)

Fenris first notices it after they kill the dragon at the Bone Pit. Well, the new one. Hawke has a claw stuck through her arm, and though she says it’s fine he insists on dragging her to the clinic, even if he has to break the door and shake Anders awake. There is no door-breaking or shaking required, because even though it’s so late some might call it early Anders is up, working, organising the potions on his shelves and listing the things he’ll need to procure soon.

Dearest Laura (TW)

Dearest Laura,

I've been staring at these two words for the last ten minutes, wondering how to start this, but I'm not even sure why I sat down with paper and pen in the first place. Maybe I'm feeling lonely, now that Derek and uncle Peter are gone. Maybe I'm feeling guilty... guilty of so many things, none the least what happened all those years ago.

Cyberwolf (TW)

There are many ways to cheat death if you have the knowledge and the resources, Peter had once said in one of his weird speeches in which he gives you disturbing information you didn’t want, and none of the information you actually need. They were probably discussing the subject of Lydia’s nature, and wondering how Peter had been able to use that to come back from the dead, which still made absolutely zero sense to Stiles. But the words had stuck in his mind, burrowed deep, and started growing into questions and ideas.

Respite (TW)

Derek’s eyes open as he gasps for breath, panicking. For a second, he doesn’t remember where he is. For a second, he can still feel the arms of his nightmare holding him up, can still feel his claws sinking into Boyd’s chest, Boyd’s energy seep out of him and into Derek.

In Wolf Skin (TW)

“No,” Stiles says, pointing a finger at the teenager in front of him. “No no no! You give it back right now!”

New Spark (TW)

Isaac is sitting on Scott’s bed, shuffling through the songs on Scott’s ipod, trying to find one he can actually focus on. There’s no use, he can’t help himself, his ears stay tuned to the sound of Scott and his mom’s conversation downstairs.

Burning Embers (TW)

Peter looks down at Cora’s face, trying to match the features of the teenager in front of him with his memories of the eleven-year-old kid he last saw half-an-hour before the fire. Her presence here makes no sense. She must have been in her bedroom, doing homework, when the house burst into flames.

—

Firstly, it is sad that I had to go back all the way to 2013 for my last 20 fics. I really need to write more. T_T

As for a pattern, idk, I don’t really see one? Sometimes I drop the reader in the middle of things, sometimes I set up a scene with descriptions, sometimes I go into a character’s head... Do you see a pattern in my fic openings?

My favorite of these is a toss up between In Wolf Skin and Tinsel and Mistletoe, I think, even though they are very very different.

I’m “tagging” anyone who feels like doing this?

[thegirlwholied]

ten faves

Rules: name ten favorite characters from ten different things (tv, movies, books, etc.). 

Thanks for tagging me @bibliophileiz ; exactly the sort of distraction I both needed (and that my current concentration-level is capable of) at the moment! Hard choices ~ especially as many of my favorites come in pairs! ~ but my top ten today...

...after draft error #97 or so, sorry in advance for the scroll, and for anyone else who winds up responding, do not draft on your phone take my word for it... 

Princess Bride: Inigo Montoya

Which character don't I love in Princess Bride? Even Humperdink is such a pitch-perfect villain. But while I'd choose Westley if I was picking a date... Inigo's the one who captures me, every time. It's not the desire for revenge itself that's compelling; it's the love for his father - the heartbreak, the dedication, even the defeat and the rise again (the "you told me to go back to the beginning scene" comes to mind as one that stays with me and is probably a huge influence on things I think of but haven't really written yet...)

Harry Potter: Sirius Black

Yes, that's a gif of Midnight Mark from Pirate Radio, because I very much mean the book version (sorry, Gary Oldman!). Is anyone following me surprised by this one?

I'm so fascinated by all of the Marauder era characters, both as they are on the page and the hinted-at aspects of them explored in fandom; love Lily/James... but Sirius is the Harry Potter character I think of first (honorable mention to non-HP Edmond Dantès, as I love Count of Monte Cristo and think much of Sirius' plotline owes that a clear debt). Aside from being a tragedy, aside from all his great lines, what a *fascinating* character and twist, in a way, on the fairy godmother plot in his first book 3 appearance (getting Harry the Firebolt, his permission slip, etc). I could say SO much more but will avoid writing an essay.

Smallville/Superman comics/adaptations: Lois Lane

Always a favorite character for me, but Erica Durance in Smallville is my favorite version. I feel like they gave her a bit of Marian Ravenwood (specifically in the outdrinking the frat boys scene) and leaned into the modern comics "army brat" angle so well.

Anne of Green Gables: Anne Shirley.

With honorable mentions to of course Jo March, other fellow aspiring writer Emily of New Moon, and Pippi Longstocking, other fun redhead of my childhood reading... Anne, and all her drama and dreams and mishaps, wins out as most relatable for me. Book heroine of my heart.

Speaking of childhood book heroines...

Star Wars: Jaina Solo.

Look, this is partly to save me between picking a favorite between Leia and Han (a dilemma which has haunted me since childhood, in part because, guiltily, it's Han), and serious honorable mentions to Mara Jade and especially Jyn Erso here... but Jaina was *everything* I wanted in a heroine as a girl. We're talking about the Young Jedi Knights series here... though I actually started with Junior Jedi Knights featuring Anakin Solo (oh Anakin Solo 💙💔)... going into the New Jedi Order, as I stopped following the EU so passionately around there.

Jaina, who is brash and so her father's daughter but has a harder time seeing she's also her mother's, the Rogue Squadron pilot, the wielder of a purple lightsaber, the mechanic... my inner little girl will never quite forgive the sequels for failing to give me a Solo daughter (sorry, Rey; I still think Daisey Ridley was pitch-perfect Jaina Solo casting... and honestly part of me considers the sequels the "weirdest Jacen & Jaina fan fiction ever" 🤷🏻‍♀️)

BtVS (out of the whole Whedonverse really): Buffy

My other favorites in the show are really also doubles/foils for Buffy: Cordelia Chase & Faith. But the first episode of the show I ever saw was "Anne" and so I've always known I would watch an entire show with just Buffy (... I would also watch an entire show of her friends dealing with her absence, but that's more about *plot* than character). I love the concept alone of Buffy's character - overturning the blonde damsel in distress trope by making her what monsters fear - but I mostly just love her; favorite Chosen One ever. “No weapons, no friends, no hope. Take all that away, and what's left?"/"Me."

...and now it gets very hard, where my early choices were more instinctive and now I keep thinking of others and can't decide. Tempted to make a bracket (I feel like Sirius and Inigo have some crossover, but how could I put them against each other)?

But ("if you had to choose, if you had to choose") to get at some of my other favorite character types and embodiments thereof...

2010-me would never believe I'm going to say this, but: Jaime Lannister.

I'm usually not a villain girl... but of course, he isn't a villain, though he starts out cast in that light. Slightly annoyed I’m picking Game of Thrones (yes, even grouping the books in that, as post Storm of Swords, I remember thinking "this could really benefit from the tightening the show will likely give it" ahahahahahahaha whoops). And yet. Where did that "came for the Starks; stayed for the Lannisters" quote come from? I feel very attacked by it.

"The things I do for love". The boy who wanted to be Arthur Dayne and somewhere along the way became the Smiling Knight. The reveal that he's not (or at least so much MORE than) who he seemed : perhaps not the comparison you'd expect but ah yes that Mr. Darcy twist always does it for me. So much character development (let's not speak of how the show ended, but still). 

The motives, in particular:  I love the Spike backstory reveal in Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Fool for Love, and in many ways I think Spike and Jaime hit the same note for me. He’s definitely a character that stays with me. Also, he hits that "golden boy" type I also like but in a *very* interesting way (and oh no now mentioning golden boy is making me think of Aron and Cal in East of Eden, I don't have room to even consider them on this list but know I love them both...)

Speaking of golden boys (also I cannot believe this is the only character from a musical I'm choosing, and Eponine’s a character that haunts me too, but...)

Enjolras.

Michael Maguire is not a golden Enjolras but was my introduction to the character and still a (the?) favorite. Love both book & musical Enjolras in different ways. But inspiring idealists with the light of rebellion abalaze in their eyes...? Facing death & despair still waving the flag? Ah yes. Top ten, 10/10.

Favorite detective out of all mysteries really, but especially from the Nancy Drew & Hardy Boys Super Mysteries: Nancy Drew.

An icon. Why is it so hard to have a good Nancy Drew adaptation? (The new TV series lost me with going with actual ghosts - I love my supernatural shows, but I don't need that with Nancy Drew.) Detective characters tend to be some of my favorites; honorable mention to Shawn Spencer from Psych here, but I was reminded in watching that recently (as Maggie Lawson, Jules on Psych, had once played Nancy Drew in a Disney movie! ... that I need to find and rewatch as I remember almost nothing about it) a) how much I love a good mystery and b) that Nancy is the OG.

Speaking of icons... out of all the folklore & mythology I love, it’s clear what character I love best: Robin Hood.

Oh, I love my Arthurian knights, but I love all Robin Hoods more. Trickster heroes, rob-from-the-rich-and-give-to-the-poor-justice, true love... cheeky 1952-movie Robin Hood is my favorite - both favorite Robin and favorite Marian, and their childhood-friends-to-lovers romance is the epitome of that trope for me! - but I also love the fox version...and am very alarmed at the prospect of a CGI remake of that; I'm sorry but that is not live action... and also Errol Flynn! It has to be Robin. If this was a ranked list (it’s not) he’d probably take #1. 

My ten slots won out to other characters, but also I love every Tamora Pierce character and if I had to pick one, it would be Daine Sarrasri, YA fantasy heroine out of all magical girls (and yes over the lady knights; sorry Alanna and Kel; Daine had wolves for friends). Also shout out that I love a LOT of characters named Marian, aside the already-mentioned Maid Marian -- Marian Ravenwood (& Indy!), Marian ‘the Librarian’ Paroo (& Harold Hill!), X-Men’s Rogue (usually named Anna Marie when a name’s revealed, but a Marian in at least one version, & her own thief Gambit)... to quote Thin Man, “You got types?”

I’ve got types. 

If you’re reading this and have types yourself, please @ me them! But tagging, if you’d like, @conniecorleone​ @aliform​ @aurorawest​ @vivacephoenix @justkeeponthegrass

[zalrb]

Why is jason your favourite character in TGP? I love Michael, his sense of humour is so good and relateable. The way he disses humans is so true. Im on s2 and i find it weird how in s1 it took eleanor a bit of time to start to become a better person but in s2 after shes been rebooted she seems like she finds it easy and is good pretty much straight away. Its like they emphasised what a shitty person she was in s1 but dont do that again in s2 after shes rebooted. Eleanor is my least fave.

“Why is jason your favourite character in TGP? I love Michael,  his sense of humour is so good and relateable. The way he disses humans is so true. Im on s2 and i find it weird how in s1 it took eleanor a bit of time to start to become a better person but in s2 after shes been rebooted she seems like she finds it easy and is good pretty much straight away.  Its like they emphasised what a shitty person she was in s1 but dont do that again in s2 after shes rebooted. Eleanor is my least fave. I find it a bit annoying how she always is the one to come up with a solution to things, it makes it seem that shes smarter than the rest of them.”

Jason is my favourite character for all the reasons I listed when – I’m assuming it’s you — asked me if Jason gets development in season 2. I love his humour, there are a couple of jokes that make me roll my eyes but for the most part, I think they’re stupid-smart or shit you’d say if you were high

or they’re just so genuinely naive or dumb in a way that would absolutely be frustrating to deal with on a day-to-day basis but because of how sincere they are it’s also charming.

Manny can straddle that line unbelievably well where I’m simultaneously like “Jason Mendoza is a treasure” and “Jason, honey, no” and I find his comedic timing excellent. Like I CACKLED at this

The way the other characters react to him also help because it’s relatable

so it makes the joke funnier.

I also love how emotionally honest he is.

I love that he is a guy who literally gets along with demons because they’re obnoxious bros but at the same time is sensitive to other people’s feelings and is also very upfront and comfortable with his own

I very rarely wholeheartedly agree with the #pure tags on tumblr but when it comes to Jason, I’m like it’s true though because look at him!

I just find him to be an entirely lovable character.

For the rest of it, I’m not as interested in Eleanor as I am in Jason, Chidi and Tahani because I generally don’t love protagonists as my favourite character (I’m the same way with Harry in HP or Buffy in BTVS) and I appreciated the writing for Eleanor the most in season 1 because there was well-written development there but I understand why they can’t continuously do season 1 in the next few seasons because they want to do other things, to be frank she has a lot of lines and attitudes that I relate to and I think Kristen Bell is a solid actress but there’s always been something about her acting that’s seemed inaccessible to me or removed that I just don’t fully take to any of the characters I’ve seen her play even if I respect them as characters.

I think Michael is absolutely necessary to the fabric of the show and yet he’s the character I remember the least. I don’t find him memorable, I just know he has to be there for the show to work and I wouldn’t want him gone and yet I’m always like, oh right you’re there.

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Angel and Cordelia (Cangel) - an in-depth analysis of their relationship

Angel and Cordelia are a ship I never expected to ship before watching Angel, but since finishing the show around November, I’ve fallen in love with them (and the show generally) and wanted to compile a post where I could express all my thoughts and feelings about them. This meta will be very in-depth and is divided into 9 sections: 

1. ‘Pensiver Face’: Opposites Attract - Will explore Angel and Cordelia’s personalities and the ways in which these two unlikely characters came together and brought out new and wonderful sides to each other. 

2. ‘Help the Helpless’: Finding purpose - Discusses the way in which Angel and Cordelia found purpose in their lives through meeting and the creation of Angel Investigations.

3. ‘We’re family’: Belonging and Family - Insight into how Angel and Cordelia created a family and home with each other that provided them with a sense of belonging (perhaps for the first time in their lives).

4. ‘My Dearest Friend’: Friendship and Love - Looks at Angel and Cordelia’s friendship and how that was at the core of their relationship throughout the series.

5. ‘You’re not alone’: Emotional connection - Uncovers the profound emotional connection Angel and Cordelia established with each other.

6. ‘It’s the stars’: Everyone can see it - Reflects on the common ‘Everyone can see it’ trope and how that was important to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship.

7. ‘Were we in love?’: Romantic love - An exploration of when and how Angel and Cordy’s romantic feelings for each other developed.

8. ‘I’ll be seeing you’: Missed Opportunity - Analyses the writing in seasons 4 and 5, and the ways in which Angel and Cordelia’s relationship was hugely disadvantaged by the writing.

9. ‘There are no people like us’: Why Angel/Cordelia are misunderstood and live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow - Unpicks some of the common misconceptions I’ve seen about Angel and Cordy’s relationship and the how comparisons made between their relationship and Buffy and Angel’s is unfair and does a disservice to both couples. 

As you can see, section 9 does discuss Buffy and Angel, because I really couldn’t discuss Angel and Cordelia without also talking about Angel’s relationship with Buffy since she was so significant to Angel. It won’t be anti-Buffy/Angel (because I’m a huge Bangel shipper, as anyone that follows me will know), but I just wanted to give a warning for those that are a big fan of the ship as you might not want to read. However, the primary focus throughout will be on Angel and Cordelia’s relationship on ATS (I don’t really give much focus to BTVS since their interactions were so brief and lacking).

Before we get into it, I wanted to say this post is long, (coming in at around 9k words, whew! I had more to say than I realised), so if you’re interested in reading you might want to grab a drink or a snack and make yourself comfortable. 

1. ‘Pensiver Face’: Opposites Attract

What makes Angel and Cordelia’s relationship so special is that it’s between two unlikely characters who, on the surface are polar opposites, but that compliment each other beautifully. Cordelia was specifically chosen to be a regular on ATS because she was the opposite to Angel - Whedon stated that Cordelia’s bright smile was needed to counteract Angel’s broody persona (x). The fundamental differences in Angel and Cordelia’s personalities meant that together they brought out different sides to each other. Angel was known for being reserved, contemplative, melancholy, deep and pessimistic, whilst in contrast Cordelia was known for being outgoing, bubbly, outspoken, shallow and optimistic.

Both characters came to ATS season 1 displaying these characteristics which they were well-known for on BTVS, but through meeting each other, they changed. Angel smiled more with Cordelia than arguably any other character in the Buffyverse (x) (x) (x) (x). Her infectious personality, witty sense of humour and straight-talking attitude coaxed him out of his shell. Also, because he was more submissive by nature, Angel responded to Cordelia’s assertiveness - she wasn’t afraid to take charge, call him out on things, make demands of him and ensure he stayed on the right path. She was the one that took charge of the business, launching Angel Investigations from practically nothing; she persuaded Angel that he should pay Gunn for working with them; she didn’t easily relent after he fired her, Wesley and Gunn; she told him he needed to set boundaries with Fred when she had a crush on Angel to prevent Fred from getting hurt; she held him accountable for getting Darla pregnant in season 3; she consistently encouraged him to fight for Connor no matter how hopeless or difficult it became and even in her brief return in season 5 she continued with this pattern. She straight up told Angel that he’d lost his way, lost sight of their mantra to help the helpless and had become entangled in the messiness of W&H. In doing so, she set Angel back on the right path. It’s strange because generally people view Angel as having more positive traits than Cordelia, but despite his good intentions, he was more prone to giving up and wallowing than Cordelia. Angel was more malleable, more willing to accept the bad in the world whilst Cordelia, on the other hand, persevered no matter what obstacles came her way and was firm in her morals. She knew what she believed to be good and she didn’t stray from that no matter what. That clear-cut attitude really helped Angel, who being a vampire and having seen so much evil, often become lost in the blurriness between good and evil, and became disheartened about fighting the good fight on numerous ocassions. Cordelia was truly Angel’s centre of gravity and moral compass - she was the one he relied on most in his redemptive journey and helping the helpless. That’s why throughout the series there was such a heavy emphasis on Angel needing Cordy (x) and why he proclaimed to be lost without her. Angel needing Cordelia was also demonstrative of a deeper emotional connection between them, which I’ll discuss later on.

Whilst Angel and Cordelia’s differences helped/changed Angel, they did the same for Cordy. Cordelia as a person was very focused on superficial gratification. She sought popularity and status, and she enjoyed money and material objects because of the pleasure they brought her. Her desire to become an actress reflects those desires she had. Although Cordelia demonstrated on BTVS that she was much more than the stereotypical popular-shallow girl she was portrayed to be (x), she wasn’t inclined to be considerate of others and empathy didn’t come naturally to her. In comparison, Angel spent a majority of his time thinking of others and had a wealth of empathy, for everybody regardless of whether they were those he loved or strangers; good or bad. There’s no doubt that the visions were a large part of what enabled Cordelia to be more empathetic since she was quite literally experiencing the traumas of others, but being close to Angel also impacted this. Until Cordelia became friends with Angel (and Doyle, Wes and Gunn), she’d never really been prioritised or cared for unconditionally. Angel’s kindness, consideration and support enabled Cordelia to open up emotionally in a way she never had before, not just to those closest to her, but to everybody. Ironically, a vampire (albeit a vampire with a soul) was the deepest insight Cordelia had gained into humanity. Angel devoted himself to helping others and Cordelia witnessed first-hand the positive impact that had on others and the rewards it brought. Whilst she fought against evil alongside the Scoobies on BTVS, it was being part of Angel Investigations that truly showed her the true meaning of fighting. It gave her purpose and belonging, which in turn allowed her to blossom in an entirely new way.

2. ‘Help the Helpless’: Finding purpose

Despite being different in many ways, Angel and Cordelia had one main thing in common - they were both seeking purpose, meaning and belonging in their lives at the start of ATS  - and they found that with each other.

On BTVS Angel went through a traumatic ordeal with losing his soul, being killed by the woman he loved, being trapped in a hell dimension, coming back to life and then having to break up with Buffy. After Angel was cursed and his soul was restored, he retreated into the shadows and lived like a hermit for a century. He no longer belonged in the vampire or the human world, and he was so consumed with the guilt about his actions as Angelus that he was paralysed. He lived a lonely and purposeless existence - until the moment he saw Buffy. Buffy symbolised hope for Angel, because she was destined to fight evil and helping her provided him with a purpose for the first time in decades and I strongly believe that this (amongst other reasons) is why he fell in love with her. So when he split up with her and left for L.A. he lost his purpose along with Buffy. It’s clear that Angel’s time with Buffy and the Scoobies had been so significant to him that he couldn’t return to the life he had before he met Buffy, he needed to continue helping people, but he didn’t know how. Meeting Doyle immediately provided him with a sense of purpose by providing him with a connection to the HP, but as I already mentioned above, Cordelia really cemented that. Although Doyle knew he and Angel had a mission that they needed to work on together, he didn’t know how to make that a reality. Cordelia’s practicality, pragmatism and organisation is what took an idea - helping the helpless - and made it a reality - Angel Investigations. Like I said, Angel knew he wanted to help others but he didn’t really have a plan. When Angel Investigations was born, it became so much more than simply helping the odd person in distress after having stumbled upon them by chance. It became an indefinite commitment and mission which provided Angel with a true purpose - a purpose he realised was the singular most important thing to him in ‘Epiphany’ (2x16).

Cordelia was also in a similar place to Angel when she arrived in L.A. at the start of ATS. During her time on BTVS Cordelia’s character was built upon her status in high-school - she was pretty, rich and popular. Although she wasn’t afraid to stand up for what she believed in (such as defending Xander against her HS friends), she generally sought the approval of others. In HS Cordelia felt that she was somebody and that really came from her popularity and status. However, she admitted that that popularity came with a downside and that she was in fact, very lonely as a result of it (x). Cordelia’s experience in her relationship with Xander only fuelled that loneliness she felt because she isolated herself from her friends to be with him, and when he cheated on her, her ‘friendships’ with the rest of the Scoobies were revealed to be superficial in nature and quickly broke down. By the time she came to ATS, she had left high school and therefore was without her boyfriend (Xander), friends and the status that HS afforded her. This explains why she was on a mission to become a famous actress - to reclaim that status that she’d lost but on an even grander scale. The problem with this is that regardless of how shallow Cordy may have appeared, she clearly craved more than just popularity, fame or money. She’d already had that but it hadn’t  fulfilled her. Enter Angel. Cordelia saw that Angel (and Doyle) needed guidance and that she could bring something important to the table. When she joined Angel and Doyle and set up Angel Investigations, she found her purpose just like Angel did. Initially, Cordelia’s desire to stick with Angel may have been because she didn’t have any other particularly appealing options, but it became so much more than that and by the end of season 1 Cordelia was wholly devoted to helping the helpless (x). In ‘Disharmony’ (2x17) she told Harmony that despite the popularity she had at HS, she was happier than she’d ever been because of the work she was doing, and having that sense of purpose came from meeting Angel. ‘Birthday’ (3x11) further reaffirmed this, when Cordelia chose being with Angel and helping the helpless over her dream of being a famous actress. 

The creation of Angel Investigations (not just the business but also the family) wouldn’t have happened if Angel and Cordelia hadn’t of come together in the way they did. From the beginning, they were the heart of everything it was and when Angel lost Cordy in season 5, he admitted that he lost his way and was lost without her (again, this beckons back to Cordy being Angel’s centre of gravity). Poetically, Cordelia kissing Angel in ‘You’re Welcome’ (5x11) and passing on the vision to him quite literally set Angel (and co.) on the path to their final battle and brought purpose back into his life. But in addition to bringing purpose to each other’s lives through their shared mission of helping the helpless, they brought something else, perhaps more significant - belonging and family.

3. ‘We’re family’: Belonging and Family

Although Angel and Cordelia had bonds with others prior to ATS - Angel had relationships with Darla, Dru, Spike, Buffy; Cordelia with Harmony, Xander and the Scoobies - they never had with anyone else what they found with each other (and the rest of Angel Investigations) (x). In season 1 Cordelia referred to Angel as being her family and Angel reiterated that later in the series. The unconditional support, acceptance and care Angel and Cordelia had towards one other was unlike anything they’d had in any of their previous relationships (particularly for Cordelia).

Angel prioritised Cordelia, he devoted himself to keeping her safe (x) (x), he was always concerned for her well-being and he took the time to get to know her as a person. He didn’t like Cordy because of her status or popularity, he liked her for her and he expressed that numerous times - he told her he liked both versions of her (old and new), that she was an extraordinary woman and that he’d never known anybody like her (x) (x). Likewise, Cordelia accepted Angel - warts and all - without white washing his past or being ignorant to his darkness. She knew Angelus had done terrible things, and that Angel wasn’t immune from making mistakes and she held him accountable for that. But she also encouraged Angel to be open with her about that side of himself, telling him to drink blood in front of her and reassuring him that she and Doyle wouldn’t judge his vamp face (x). Cordelia came face to face with Angelus multiple times and she knew that even with a soul Angel had the capacity for darkness, but she still saw the good in him and believed it out-weighed the bad. She was never under any false illusions that Angel was perfect and that’s why she was firm in her promise that if needs be she would stake Angelus without hesitation.

It’s really that unconditional support and acceptance that led them to consider each other family. What’s most significant about this is that neither of them really had that before ATS. Angel (Liam) grew up in a volatile family situation with an abusive father and Cordelia’s family was so insignificant in her life that we only had a few references to them throughout the course of BTVS and ATS and not a single appearance from them. Neither of them really had a true home or family until they found each other. The friendship they found with each other (and the rest of Angel Investigations) truly was one of the most beautiful things that ever happened to either of them and provided them with a true home for the first time in their lives. In fact, in season 4 Angel explicitly said when Cordelia was missing “We’ll do whatever it takes to bring her home, where she belongs”, which perfectly sums up the title for this section about belonging and family. The bond they forged was one of the first they established with another that felt completely secure and contented (which is also why Cordelia reacted so negatively to him abandoning her, Wes and Gunn in season 2 over Darla), because at it’s core it was a friendship built upon familial love, which in my opinion, is the strongest and most enduring love there is.

4. ‘My Dearest Friend’: Friendship and Love

The most common argument I’ve seen against Angel and Cordelia as a romantic ship is, “They should’ve just stayed friends, they were better that way”. My issue with this is that Angel and Cordelia didn’t just fulfil one or the other - friendship or romance - they fulfilled both and so much more (x). What makes Angel and Cordelia’s relationship so special is that they morphed from acquaintances, to coworkers, to confidantes, to friends, to family, to lovers and were often some (or all) of these things to each other at once. Their feelings for each other cannot be boxed in, because they encompass so much, but there is no disputing that they loved each other.

Angel and Cordy had a profound connection spanning across the entirety of ATS, that no amount of words I type can quite express. They were a constant presence in each others’ lives for years, they were by each others’ sides through some of the most significant events of their lives and they shared it all - the highs and lows, the good and bad. Even when their romantic feelings came into fruition, their friendship remained unchanged. Nothing could change that fundamental dynamic between them or the ease with which they communicated and bounced off of one another. Any scene between Angel and Cordy has a natural chemistry (the nature of that chemistry is up to interpretation), and even when Angel was a awkward, bumbling and flustered fool, their interactions never felt strained or uncomfortable. This is because they knew each other so well and were so attuned to each other, but also because their relationship was already so well established by the time they realised they had romantic feelings for each other that there was no danger of those feelings complicating or endangering that friendship. It’s why in ‘Spin the Bottle’ (4x06) Angel told Cordelia that she was his dearest friend and he wanted that back. He was able to push aside his romantic feelings and desires because her friendship was more important to him than anything else.

Some may claim it’s weird for two people who referred to each other as family to be in love with each other, but when you’re in love with someone they are your family. The fact that Angel and Cordelia had that kind of connection provided them with the closeness, comfortableness, familiarity and security for those romantic feelings to blossom. Angel, in particular, had an aversion to romance because of The Curse and his experience with Buffy, but he felt so safe with Cordelia that it’s almost like he allowed himself to feel that way about him. Likewise, Cordelia was rather guarded in matters of the heart given her romantic history with Xander, but she felt so safe with Angel that she was able to finally open herself up in that way without even really realising she was. That profound connection between them can’t really be quantified, but can be seen in their actions.

5. ‘You’re not alone’: Emotional connection

When I say that it would do them a disservice to try and box Angel and Cordelia’s relationship into the platonic or romantic arena, that’s because of the emotional connection they shared which extends beyond such labels.

According to Wiki, ‘Emotional intimacy is a psychological event that happens when trust levels and communication between two people are such that it fosters the mutual sharing of one another's deepest selves.’ It involves trust, mutual trust, sense of community, understanding, open communication and sharing a duty. As you read this I’m sure you’re realising that Angel and Cordelia had all of this. They lived in close proximity day after day for years - they worked together, they fought together, they laughed together, they loved the same people (Doyle, Wes, Gunn, Fred, Connor), they grieved together (for Doyle and Connor), they shared the same beliefs and morals and they were united in the same mission to help the helpless. All of this led to them developing a profound emotional connection whereby they came to rely on each other and trust each other, and were able to open up to each other without fear of judgement or rejection (x). Throughout the series Angel and Cordy had multiple heart to hearts in which they confided in each other, encouraged or reassured each other and those talks became more regular as their connection grew. Something as simple as Angel calling Cordelia ‘Cordy’ (which he didn’t do until ATS ‘Are You Now or Have You Ever Been?’ 2x02) demonstrated that developing connection between them.

Again, it would be futile for me to list every example of when Angel and Cordelia had a scene that showed this emotional connection (particularly since you’ll have seen them all if you’ve watched the show), but off the top of my head some key examples would be - Cordelia helped Angel open up about Doyle’s death after Angel accidentally called Wesley Doyle; Cordelia helped Angel to open up about Buffy’s death after he’d spent 3 months trying to come to terms with it; when Cordelia fell ill from a vision Angel reassured her that her value to him wasn’t invested solely in her visions; generally Angel supported Cordelia repeatedly through the trauma of her visions; after Connor was born Angel developed an overly-protective paternal instinct and wouldn’t let anybody hold him, and Cordelia was the first he allowed to hold him; after Connor’s kidnapping Cordelia was able to simply sit with him in the silence and provide the emotional support no one else could and when Angel was insecure about bonding with Connor (after his return) she reassured him he was a capable and loving father. 

Nothing showed the depth of that emotional connection more than the beginning of season 4 when Angel was at the bottom of the ocean. In order to hold on to his sanity, Angel repeatedly dreamt of Cordelia in various romantic scenarios and admitted to Wes and Gunn when he returned that the one thing that had kept him holding on was the thought of returning home to Cordelia. Cordy and his love for her was the tether to his humanity, his hope when everything was hopeless, his light in the dark. 

I could continue exploring this because their emotional connection is demonstrated in nearly every scene they have together, but the point has been made that Angel and Cordelia consistently opened up to one another and were by each other’s sides through the hardest of times. Although they both had the rest of Angel Investigations (Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Lorne), they primarily turned to each other in their time or need or when they were feeling low. They instinctively knew what to do/say to ease each other’s insecurities, fears or anxieties and were each other’s source of emotional strength. What’s even more significant about this is that their connection was so profound, that even those around them noticed it. 

6. ‘It’s the stars’: Everyone can see it

‘Everyone can see it’ is a popular romantic trope whereby a couple are perfect for each other but don’t realise their feelings for one another, but everyone else around them does. This was an integral part of Angel and Cordelia’s relationship since they found it very difficult, as friends, to make sense of their romantic feelings for each other and to acknowledge those feelings.

The first person to notice the chemistry between Angel and Cordelia was Fred in ‘Offspring’ (3x07). After seeing them sparring Fred spoke about kyrumption (two heroes meeting in battle and recognising their same fate) and moira (the gut physical attraction between two larger-than-life souls). Angel’s feelings for Cordelia had already been present long before then, but Fred’s observations provided him with an opportunity to acknowledge them for the first time and reflect on them. 

Lorne being an empath naturally had an insight into Angel’s feelings and in ‘Waiting in the Wings’ (3x13) he revealed that he’d read Angel and knew he had feelings for Cordelia. Like Fred, he also spoke of kyrumption and told Angel that the way he was feeling for Cordelia was real. Lorne consistently was attuned to Angel’s feelings for Cordelia and understood that they’d grown beyond friendship. He also actively encouraged Angel to act on them because he believed Cordelia felt the same way about him and he shouldn’t miss the chance to see what they could be. 

I watched ‘Waiting in the Wings’ with commentary from Whedon last week and in that he explained that the spell was a way for Angel and Cordelia to act on the feelings they had for each other (that they were only just starting to realise) in a way whereby they didn’t actually have to admit that they had those feelings and wanted to act on them (because they were afraid of the consequences). Fred and Lorne’s observations are very much the same - they’re a conduit through which Angel was able to internally explore his growing romantic feelings for Cordy and slowly come to the realisation that he was in love with her. 

7. ‘Were we in love?’: Romantic love

Although I’ve been primarily focused on the general connection between Angel and Cordelia and what they brought to each other’s lives, there was definitely romantic love and attraction between the two of them and it’s important to discuss that.

I think when people compare Angel and Cordy’s relationship to Angel’s relationship with Buffy people feel Angel’s love for Cordelia wasn’t romantic or passionate, but it was, it’s just that the love he had for Cordy and their relationship was so fundamentally different from his relationship with Buffy that the two can’t really be compared. Buffy was Angel’s epic, great love - it consumed him from the inside out, it was intense, passionate and devastating - but Cordy was something entirely different. She wasn’t supposed to be some big epic love, she was supposed to be a friend with whom he developed a strong bond with and slowly came to fall in love with over time. Their love wasn’t characterised by angst-ridden scenes, grand speeches of forbidden love and sexual tension - it was grounded in family, friendship and emotional connection (as I’ve explored above). Their feelings for each other weren’t sudden and didn’t start out big (they truly were just acquaintances at the start of ATS season 1), but as they spent time together, shared experiences and got to know each other, their romantic feelings quietly grew in the background until neither of them could ignore it anymore.

It’s frustrating that we never got a clear admission of love between the two (all of their love confessions were to other people or cut off before they finished), but there is no doubt in my mind that Angel and Cordelia were in love. Their actions proved that and from a personal perspective, I could feel the love between them. Everyone will have different interpretations of when they believe the pair fell in love, but interestingly, I don’t think there’s supposed to be ‘one moment’ that they fell in love, because the whole point of their relationship is that it was never that clear cut. They didn’t go to bed one night as best friends and wake up the next day a think, “I’m in love with Angel/Cordelia!”. It was a subtle evolution of feelings over time, which neither of them truly noticed until it was brought to their attention by others, because they were so used to being friends and navigating within the realms of that, that they didn’t consider the possibility that their feelings could have gone beyond that.

Since ATS was primarily focused on Angel’s POV, it’s very easy to follow Angel’s evolving feelings for Cordelia and attempt to pin-point the moment at which his romantic feelings came to fruition. Like I said, I don’t think there was one particular moment where Angel realised his feelings for Cordelia, but in my opinion, they had definitley developed by ‘Dead End’ (2x18). At the beginning of season 2, Angel had a crisis due to Darla’s return and he fired Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn. It was really the darkest we saw Angel get in ATS whilst he had his soul, he truly lost his way for a while and Cordelia was so hurt and angry by his actions that she couldn’t forgive him. When Angel finally realised he’d made a mistake cutting his friends out of his life, he did everything he could to make amends, but he seemed most affected by the loss of Cordelia’s friendship and he was determined to earn her forgiveness. What’s interesting about this is that at this point one could argue that Angel’s friendship with Cordelia wasn’t that profound and it didn’t particularly matter if they made up, because they still could’ve worked together as co-workers (although it might’ve been a little awkward and uncomfortable). But Angel was adamant that he wanted her friendship back and almost the entirety of ‘Epiphany’ (2x16) was focused on Angel’s desire to make amends with Cordy and his devastation when she refused to accept him back. This continued in ‘Disharmony’ (2x17), with him desperately fighting to earn her forgiveness and ending with him winning Cordelia over by buying her clothes, which he was visibly happy about (x). Angel’s reaction at the prospect of losing Cordelia beckons back to ‘To Shanshu to L.A.’ (1x22) when we witnessed for the first time how scared he was to lose her and also suggests that at this point in season 2 his romantic feelings were developing for her. In the following episode ‘Dead End’ (2x18), he was so focused on making Cordelia feel better (and this was likely a continuation of him making it up to her) that he brought her food and his reaction to her saying she loved him was perhaps the brightest smile I’ve ever seen on Angel’s face (x). In ‘Belonging’ (2x19), Angel’s attraction to Cordelia was made clear when he saw her in a bikini and he also expressed anger at the director of the commercial she was filming for treating her like a ‘commodity’ and a ‘slave’, forcing him to apologise to Cordelia for the way he spoke to her and telling Cordelia he would rip his head off if she wanted him to. When Cordelia was sucked into the portal to Pylea in ‘Over the Rainbow’ (2x20), Angel’s profound emotional connection to Cordelia was clear (x) - he just wanted her back, he didn’t care how or what they had to do and he expressed that he couldn’t lose Cordy again after just getting her back (also that one line, ‘It’s Cordy’, that Angel says to Wesley when he tells Angel it’s too dangerous to go through the portal and they may never get back holds so much emotion). When Cordelia admitted to loving Groo in Pylea, Angel mistakenly thought she was saying it to him and was disappointed to learn otherwise. So basically, by the end of season 2 Angel undoubtedly had romantic feelings for Cordelia, but wasn’t yet aware of them. Season 3 continued to build on that by allowing Angel to heal following Buffy’s death and reach a resolution  in ‘Heartthrob’ (3x01) whereby he could start to process his feelings for Cordy, putting him a situation where he was faced with the prospect of losing her again, therefore cementing the depth of his feelings for her (‘That Vision Thing’ 3x02) and having Fred share her observations about his feelings for her, finally allowing him to fully acknowledge them for the first time. 

From Cordelia’s POV it’s much harder to guess when her romantic feelings for Angel developed, because we didn’t get as much insight into her. I do think her feelings for him didn’t come as soon as Angel’s did for her and neither did the realisation that she felt that way. ‘That Vision Thing’ (3x02) hints that Cordelia’s feelings for Angel may have begun to grow beyond friendship when she said, “If I lose the visions I wouldn't be able to help you anymore. You wouldn't need me.” Notice, Cordelia was concerned with Angel needing her, not the rest of the team. Also, since Angel was so devoted to saving Cordelia and explicitly told her she was more important to him than his vendetta against W&H, we can assume this impacted Cordelia’s feelings towards him since this was perhaps the first time she noticed how committed he was to keeping her safe and how much he wanted her in his life. I also think that witnessing Angel go through the process of becoming a father significantly impacted Cordy’s feelings for Angel. Seeing him take on the role of a father showed an even softer, nurturing side of him and the bond Cordy developed with Connor also brought them closer together. However, ‘Birthday’ (3x11) is the first episode that properly affirms the depth of Cordelia’s feelings for Angel. She was given everything she ever wanted - fame, money, stardom - and she gave it all up to return to Angel. Despite having no memory, upon seeing Angel so broken, Cordelia instinctively leaned in and kissed him fulfilling the old fairy-tale trope of true love’s kiss breaking the spell. I think from Cordelia’s POV, she was much more closed off to allowing herself to acknowledge her romantic feelings for Angel because she didn’t even consider Angel a romantic option given The Curse. This also explains why upon Groo’s return in season 3, she resumed her relationship with him despite having clearly developed profound romantic feelings for Angel that led her to prioritise him above Groo repeatedly to the point that Groo himself noticed that she had feelings for Angel.

This brings me back to the main point about Angel and Cordelia’s romantic feelings for each other never being straightforward or easily defined. In ‘Waiting in the Wings’ (3x13) it was clear - spell or no spell - that Angel and Cordelia shared a mutual sexual attraction and that Angel’s canonically confirmed romantic feelings for Cordelia were reciprocated. Yet Cordelia didn’t confirm her feelings for him explicitly to the audience until 9 episodes later in the finale of the season. This is for a number of reasons, but primarily because it was easier to continue denying their feelings and remain friends than face the complications that a romance posed. Even if they had been given the chance to openly express their feelings for each other, what would’ve happened next? As Angel said to Lorne in ‘Waiting in the Wings’, what could he offer her (as a cursed vampire)? It would’ve been too complicated and they knew that.

That criss-cross and complexity of their love is part of the reason I love them so much, because it’s authentic and relatable. Particularly in the case of friends who have fallen in love - it’s no easy transition and it’s definitely not easy to make sense of your feelings Plus, Angel and Cordy had the added complications that went with their life (Angel being a vampire, The Curse, Darla, their friends, Angel Investigations, W&H and the supernatural world generally, to name a few). In an interview a long time ago SMG said that the most heartbreaking thing about Buffy and Angel was that it was unfulfilled love, and in this respect so are Angel and Cordelia. It’s heartbreaking because they truly loved one another but they were never even given the opportunity to see what they could potentially be. They missed their chance and because of that they were always left wondering ‘what if?’ 

8. ‘I’ll be seeing you’: Missed Opportunity 

The fact that Angel and Cordy never got their shot to be together (which they discussed in ‘You’re Welcome’ 5x11) is the tragedy of their love. However, it wouldn’t be the same love story if it didn’t have that unresolved element to it. Everybody longs for closure and resolution with their ships, but the truth is, in real life few people truly get that, they simply have to move on and live with their regrets. But whilst I love Angel and Cordelia’s relationship and story as it is, there’s no escaping the fact that they were done dirty in seasons 4 and 5 in regards to the writing and as a result their story did go in a...shall we say unfavourable direction? 

Everyone that’s ever watched ATS has problems with season 4 (I could write a separate post about the problems with season 4, particularly in regards to Cordelia’s character), and when it comes to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship, there’s a lot that was handled badly which unfortunately, derailed the beautiful development that took place between them in season 3. We still had a lot of key moments that played out between Angel and Cordelia in season 4, but the main problem with the season is that we don’t actually know when Cordelia was actually Cordelia. At what point was she herself, if she ever was? Did she really have amnesia? If so, can we count amnesia!Cordy as still being Cordy to an extent? When did Jasmine start to take over? Did she have any agency at all when she was possessed by Jasmine, even if it was only the briefest of moments? All of these questions remain unanswered and make it very difficult to fully assess the Angel/Cordelia relationship during season 4, but I’m going to try to anyway. 

What remained clear throughout season 4 was that Angel loved Cordy. In fact, despite Cordelia technically being absent for the majority of the season, it was very Cangel-heavy, perhaps more than the seasons before it. Angel had multiple dreams/fantasies about Cordelia, devoted himself to finding her when she was missing at the start of the season, was visibly distraught to have her lose her memories and strike up a relationship with Connor, and lost his soul from a fantasy of making love to her. In my opinion, this is the season that really affirmed that Angel was in love with Cordy beyond any doubt. When Angel asked Cordelia if they were in love and she replied, “We were”, I strongly believe that was Cordelia. She’d just gotten her memories back so Jasmine hadn’t had chance to worm her way to the forefront yet, and I believe in that moment that was Cordelia finally breaking through and telling Angel that she loved him. Although the circumstances are ambiguous to say the least, I believe this to be the first admission of love exchanged between the two whereby the words were said plainly (because obviously they said ‘I love you’ to each other repeatedly before this moment in other ways). However, this doesn’t undo the dirty that was done to Angel and Cordelia in this season. Despite the fact that we know Cordelia wasn’t responsible for any of her actions since she was possessed by Jasmine, it’s still very hard when watching her with Connor to separate Jasmine from Cordelia. And from Angel’s perspective, he literally watched the woman he loved have sex with his son. Finding out afterwards that it wasn’t actually Cordelia doesn’t reduce the devastating impact of witnessing that and the way the Cordelia!Jasmine arc was written did taint some aspects of their relationship by forcing Angel to have to witness ‘Cordelia’ enter into a romantic relationship with Connor and have a child with him. Also, it was utterly ridiculous and unbelievable that Angel and co. wouldn’t recognise that Cordy wasn’t herself. This is definitely a writing issue, because the whole possession thing was handled so badly in the respect that Cordelia seemed like herself (even her sleeping with Connor was believable due to her amnesiac state), but it was still not in-keeping with the show that none of her friends (and especially Angel) would notice that Cordelia was possessed. Overall, season 4 did a huge disservice to Angel and Cordelia’s romance (although the biggest disservice was definitely done to Cordelia’s character) and whilst their relationship was beautifully developed in seasons 1-3, season 4 stopped that development in its tracks. 

Season 5 continued to do a disservice to Cordelia (and Angel and Cordelia) by practically erasing Cordy from existence (I know that backstage issues with the cast need to be taken into consideration here, but the lack of consideration to Cordelia’s character is still a valid point to discuss). Despite how utterly terrified Angel was whenever faced with the prospect of losing Cordelia, in season 5 he was visibly fine about Cordelia being in a coma and wasn’t even attempting to pull her out of it. The fact that Angel (and co.) would simply stand by and go on with the rest of their lives without devoting every single second to waking Cordy  is ridiculous and completely OOC for all of them. Angel, Wes, Gunn, Fred, Lorne and Cordy were deeply connected and would have done anything for each other, and there’s no way they would’ve given up on Cordy like that. But back to the point, despite Angel being in love with Cordelia throughout season 4, there was no reference to his feelings for her until ‘You’re Welcome’ (5x11). Now, don’t get me wrong, I love that episode and I always will, but I also can’t help but notice how out of place that episode feels within the rest of the season. In the episodes leading up to it Cordelia was barely mentioned and in the episodes afterwards, her death was completely ignored with only a few passing references from Angel near the end of the season (don’t even get me started on the fact that she didn’t even get a funeral. What the hell was that all about?!?!? This is Cordy.) Furthermore, Angel reverted back to being actively in love with Buffy (particularly in ‘The Girl in Question’ 5x20, which is honestly such a bad episode, I can’t even) with no consideration given to the fact that he had feelings for Cordelia. Personally, I believe all of these consistencies come from fan pandering - the reaction to Angel and Cordelia becoming a couple was very negative so they reverted back to the Angel/Buffy relationship because it was so popular and well-loved. But back to, ‘You’re Welcome’, the episode definitely redeemed some of what was done to Cordelia (and her relationship with Angel) by giving her/them a satisfying ending after an horrendous season 4, but nothing can truly make up for the fact that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship was so abruptly ended in the manner it was. It also can’t make up for the fact that we missed out on two entire seasons worth of development that we would’ve potentially got if the Jasmine plot hadn’t taken place (again, I understand this was largely down to behind-the-scenes complications with Charisma and Whedon). 

These flaws in the writing (and execution of the relationship) in seasons 4 and 5 is far and above my biggest criticism of Angel and Cordelia’s relationship as a whole (although it’s a criticism of the writers more so than Cordelia and Angel or David and Charisma). It never would have made sense for Angel and Cordy to have a plain sailing fairy-tale romance, but they had so much more potential and could have grown to become something even more beautiful if season 4 had continued to build upon their development from seasons 1-3. ‘You’re Welcome’ perfectly demonstrates the potential they had and what they could’ve become if Cordelia hadn’t been possessed by Jasmine. And that was only a taster and we could’ve had, we could’ve so much more. In my opinion, there were no limits on where their relationship could have been taken since it was so well written, built-up and established leading up to season 4. The fact that we’ll never know how the relationship would’ve played out if it had continued is sad, but as I said, that missed chance that they had is key to Angel and Cordelia’s relationship. It’s the one that got away, the love that could never be and that one person whom we always wonder, “What if?” about. 

9. ‘There are no people like us’: Why Angel/Cordelia are misunderstood and live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow

The final section I wanted to do is an exploration of the reasons why I feel Cordelia and Angel are misunderstood as a ship and how I believe this primarily stems from the fact that they live in Buffy/Angel’s shadow. This is where I’ll be comparing Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Angel, so if you’re a fan of Buffy/Angel, you may not want to read this final section. However, this isn’t anti-Buffy/Angel, it’s really me working through my own thoughts and feelings as both a Buffy/Angel and a Angel/Cordelia shipper (yes, we exist haha). 

People have a tendency to make comparisons between the Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Angel relationship two relationships, when in reality (as I’ve mentioned above) the two aren’t really comparable. Angel’s relationships with Buffy and Cordelia were distinctive, took place under completely different circumstances and brought different things to his life. Angel was fully engaged in a romantic relationship with Buffy for 2 years (on and off), but he never had the opportunity to do that with Cordelia. The romantic feelings were there, as was the potential for them to act on that and see what they could be, but it didn’t happen. So to compare the two relationships (when technically Angel and Cordy never entered into a romantic relationship) is futile to say the least. However, people naturally make those comparisons and when they do they seem to come up with two key reasons Angel/Cordelia are inferior to Buffy/Angel:

1. Sexual relationship/chemistry - It hasn’t escaped my attention that Buffy and Angel have a lot more sexual chemistry than Angel and Cordelia. Honestly, in my opinion, nothing can really compare to SMG/David chemistry, it’s so damn good. However, this criticism simply fails to understand that Angel and Cordelia’s love/connection never was primarily one of a sexual nature (notice that every fantasy Angel ever had of Cordelia was romantic not sexual). Romance was definitely part of their relationship (particularly in seasons 3, 4 and 5) and they had an attraction and they had chemistry (’Waiting in the Wings’ damn well proved that), but their relationship was never about sex. In comparison to Angel and Buffy, their relationship was deeply rooted in attraction. From the moment they meet each other they’re very physically attracted to each other and in seasons 1 and 2 they both make references made to how badly they want to kiss each other whenever they’re together, whilst in season 3 they discuss the difficulties they find in fighting against their sexual attraction to each other. As a result, Angel and Buffy’s relationship was always heavily steeped in sexual tension. The fact that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship didn’t have the same level of sexual attraction doesn’t make that relationship any less important, just different (which I know I keep saying, but it’s kind of my whole argument here - the two relationships are so fundamentally different you can’t compare them). 

2. Buffy is Angel’s one and only true love - There’s no denying that Buffy was and always will be Angel’s great love, but to quote one of my not-so-favourite shows (The Vampire Diaries), contrary to popular belief, people can (and usually do) have more than one great love in their lives. Clinging too tightly to the Buffy/Angel relationship ignores the immense changes Angel undergoes on ATS and the fact he moved on from Buffy (up until Spike’s return in season 5, which reverts him back to being kind of obsessed with Buffy, which is such bad writing and so inconsistent that it annoys me. And this isn’t  including crossovers either, because damn, they’re so problematic/inconsistent and I didn’t even realised until I watched ATS, but I can see now why the writers didn’t want to do too many crossovers despite the fans wanting them). Buffy was always in Angel’s heart and he always carried her with him, but he didn’t actively pine over her or yearn for her when he moved to L.A. (he did more so in season 1 and particularly after the events of ‘I Will Remember You’, but he slowly moved on). Angel conclusively and healthily moved on from Buffy - he established a life for himself which he loved and made him happy, he found a home, friends and embarked on a new love with Cordy. When two people have shared a love like Angel did with Buffy, it never goes away but it does change and it almost grows dormant (for reference, there’s a brilliant meta that discusses Angel moving on from Buffy which you can read here). To use a real life example here, my mom (who’s now 50) has been in around 5 serious long-term relationships in her life and has been with her current partner for 5 years and is completely in love with him. However, she’s openly admitted to me that she loved my dad more than she’s ever loved any man and she still regards him the love of her life. That doesn’t mean she’s still in love with him, because she’s not. She hasn’t seen him in two decades, she’s moved on and she’s found love with someone new. That love she had with him is a memory in her head and her heart, but it has no place in her life now. She’s a different person, her life has changed dramatically and that love is in the past. If he rocked up now he’d be a stranger to her and regardless of those memories she has of him, he’s no longer the person she’s in love with. That’s exactly what happened with Buffy and Angel. They always loved each other, but Angel truly did move forward (whether Buffy moved on is something I’m less unsure of). In ‘Heartthrob’ (3x01) Angel told James that he’d lost the woman he loved (Buffy) and that he had loved her with his whole heart. In response, James said that that couldn’t be true because if it was, when she had died Angel would’ve died along with her. After that, in a scene with Cordy (x), Angel admitted that he was okay and had dealt with Buffy’s death and how he felt guilty about that. In my opinion, this episode (and those scenes in particular) confirmed that Angel had moved on from Buffy and had gotten to a place where he could finally open himself up to Cordelia wholeheartedly. In fact, David spoke about how Angel had moved on from Buffy and that Cordy was what he needed (he also mentioned Darla, which is a topic I won’t get into because I could write an entirely separate post about that too) and here’s what he said: 

Interviewer: Darla killed herself, right? The baby's mother? Who's gonna step up and help Angel raise the baby? Buffy?

David: God, no. Buffy's pretty much out of the picture. They've played their storyline and that's just the past. I think between Cordelia and Fred he'll be mommied to death. But, Buffy's just the past.

Interviewer: Oh, come on. Buffy can never really be just the past, can she? I mean, that's Angel's soulmate.

David: I think Darla was probably his soulmate. I mean, they spent a hundred years together, then made a baby. You can't just--

Interviewer: Well, then Buffy was his first love.

David: Angel was Buffy's first love, but Angel loved Darla in a sick way.

Interviewer: I'm a Buffy/Angel fan. Sorry.

David: You're forgiven. No, I'm just saying that the two shows are on different networks and it's not gonna happen. There's no more story there for those two. Buffy isn't Angel's priority anymore. In season one and two of our show, she was always in the back of his mind, well, now it's all about the baby and Buffy is just, well, she's just a person he used to know.

Interviewer : Awww, come on! The story there was so incredible.

David: And like every good story, it came to an end. And then started over. On. Different. Networks. (again with the emphasis)

Interviewer : Is Angel going to hook up with Cordy?

David: Well, I'm all for it. I don't know what the writers have planned in that regard, but I'm a fan of Charisma's work and I'd love for our characters to be romantically involved. Cordy is really what Angel needs, I believe. (x)

See, it’s important to acknowledge that as amazing as Buffy and Angel’s story was, they broke up and went their separate ways. As David rightfully pointed out, it was the past and Buffy was no longer his priority. It’s always frustrated me that Angel was expected not to move on and to pine for Buffy, whilst Buffy was allowed to move on and find love again. The argument is that Angel was so much older than Buffy that he couldn’t or rather shouldn’t want to find love, whilst Buffy was still young, but the problem is, although Angel was technically old, he was still a teenager himself in terms of his experiences in love. He didn’t have a soul for 100 years so was incapable of love and then he spent 100 years when he had a soul cut off from the world. He had barely experienced anything the world had to offer and he certainly hadn’t had the opportunity to forge connections with others or explore the world of love. Buffy was able to move on from Angel and experience different types of relationships/loves with Parker (urgh), Riley and Spike (amongst others who she flirted with or briefly dated post-BTVS season 3). Angel deserved the same opportunity to experience new types of relationships that were different than the one he had with Buffy. I’m going to use another quote The Vampire Diaries because I feel it sums this up perfectly, “I realised that I may not be able to explain what I feel for her, but it is something, and, yeah, maybe all love isn't true love in the messed up way that you and I have experienced it, but I think this could turn into something even better.” This right here is exactly how I perceive Angel’s feelings for Buffy and Cordelia to be. Angel had only ever loved one person, Buffy was all he’d ever known of love and it was so big, messy and all-consuming , but with Cordelia he realised that love didn’t necessarily have to be like that and that there are different types of love. 

There’s no disputing that Angel never loved Cordelia in the same way he loved Buffy (which this post explains perfectly) - Angel will never love anyone the way he loved Buffy, but he did fall in love with Cordelia and she enriched his life in new ways and filled a void in him in much the same way Buffy did. During ATS Cordelia surpassed Buffy in importance simply because of the place she had in Angel’s life - she was the center of his world and without her it wouldn’t be the same (we saw that in season 5). It would be unfair to claim Angel couldn’t or shouldn’t love someone else just because he had such an intense love with Buffy. What makes his relationship with Cordelia so special is that it was so different than the love he had with Buffy. Those two loves will always sit in contrast to each other, but will never overshadow or replace one another because they’re both significant and special for different reasons. 

The point of talking about this was really just to highlight that Angel and Cordelia’s relationship is not by any means invalid or inferior because of Buffy/Angel. Both relationships are important and exist in contrast to each other. Angel and Cordelia’s relationship does tend to be misunderstood and/or unappreciated due to the nature of the writing (which had a lot of problems in seasons 4 and 5, and even a little in season 3) and because they’re too heavily compared to the hot and heavy romance between Angel and Buffy. However, Angel and Cordelia’s relationship developed organically over time in a subtle way and is demonstrative of how much relationships can evolve as life progresses and circumstances change, and how two people can grow together. Theirs was a story about two people, who in the beginning were indifferent to each other, but grew to know each other profoundly and found a lot through being in each others lives - purpose, belonging, family, friendship and love - and through having and sharing that, they fell in love. It’s not a conventional romantic love as most of us would expect, and they didn’t have the chances to fully explore their romantic connection because their story ended prematurely, but it was a beautiful relationship embedded in human connection and friendship at the deepest and purest level.

If you got to the end of this, thank you so much for reading. This took me days and days to write and edit, so I’m really grateful to you for reading and would appreciate likes/reblogs if you found this interesting. I’d also love to hear your thoughts on this topic, so if you have any feel free to stop by my ask box :)

[zutaralesbian]

I'm greedy... all the questions for the ask meme

I’m sorry that this took so freaking long. Between thinking about my answers, work, school, and my laptop getting pased around, it’s been hard to get it done lol. But thanks so much! 

I answered 6, 11, 25 here: http://lukesandwalker.tumblr.com/post/173277826118/6-11-25

And 30 here: http://lukesandwalker.tumblr.com/post/173275820343/i-would-like-30-please-because-i-live-to-see

But here’s the rest of them:

1: Top 3 heroes/protagonists

To narrow it down a little, i’m going to consider this as meaning MAIN protagonists.

Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) (Surprise surprise) I’ve already gushed so much about why I love Luke so i’ll keep it short this time. But I love that he’s a male lead in a science fiction movie series heavily geared towards dudebros that defies so many of the toxic tropes that usually come with male leads in that genre. Luke’s journey is about refusing to succumb to the darkness even while people from both sides of the conflict are urging him to do so. And he ultimately wins via compassion and his belief of inherent goodness. He’s a male lead that’s ultimately led by his heart, which is so refreshing. I remember being so surprised by how much I loved him the first time I finally sat down and watched Star Wars.

Buffy Summers (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer) Buffy was one of the first female protagonists of a TV like BTVS that I was ever fully invested in and she was a good place to start. Buffy doesn’t fall into the typical trope of being emotion-free or hateful towards other women like so many people believe a “badass” female character like her needs to be. Buffy loves and cares about her friends and family and even craves romance, and none of that detracts from the fact that she’s also the slayer and kicks ass. She’ll always be one of my role models.

James Flint (Black Sails) I’ll admit that calling Flint a hero is a stretch since…he’s done some bad things, but I couldn’t not include him in this. He’s such a rarity…I don’t know of any other lead protagonists that are like him. The writers could have easily made him the typical straight douchebag that are usually in shows like this (a la Jax Teller). But instead, he’s a gay man with a lot of righteous anger towards the world for the unfairness of homophobic society. And he’s NOT ashamed of being gay! One of his most iconic speeches is about refusing to apologize to England because in his mind, he did nothing wrong. And he has multiple profound relationships with women that do not boil down to him wanting to fuck them and are actually filled with respect. I just….James Flint man. I could talk about him all day.

Honorable mention to Harry James Potter, who I love a lot as well.

2: Top 3 villains/antagonists

Azula (Avatar: The Last Airbender) One of the most complex and well written female villains ever. She’s never redeemed, but she was still given enough genuine qualities and backstory to feel sympathy for her. But at the same time….she’s also just really twisted and awful at times. “Don’t flatter yourself. You were never even a player.” How iconic??? (Also, the reason Zuko is not on this list is because I don’t really consider him a villain. At least not in the classic sense).

Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker (Star Wars) He scares the shit out of me and actually has enough of a story and background to be interesting. Kylo Ren who?

Cersei Lannister (ASOIAF/GOT) Such an evil bitch….but once in a while, I find myself rooting for her lol. She’s the only typical villain that I really love in ASOIAF though.

3: Top 3 supporting characters

(Oh god….in no particular order. And i’m not even 100% sure of these answers lol. And for this, i’m assuming they just mean not the #1 main character.)

Bonnie Bennett (The Vampire Diaries)  I don’t talk about her much anymore because i’m pretty much over TVD but she was the first character I ever stanned in a typical fandom way and therefor will always have a special place in my heart. I’ll be forever angry about how that demon show treated her.

Sansa Stark (ASOIAF/GOT) I’m not sure who would be considered the main character of ASOIAF. (I think Ned might have been the main character in the first book but after that….idk) but i’m going to go on a limb and assume that Sansa would be considered a supporting character lol. I love my survivor wolf daughter who is underestimated but manages to outsmart everyone.

Max (Black Sails) I pretty much love all of the female characters in Black Sails but Max would have to be #1 for me. (Although Eleanor is a veeeeeery close second. And sometimes they’re tied). I love how much of an enigma of a character she is. She’s manipulative but also one of the most genuinely compassionate characters on the show. And she has one of the most profound overall arcs on the show imo. Also….a lesbian icon.

Honorable mentions: Eleanor Guthrie (Black Sails), Tara Knowles (SOA), Arya Stark (GOT/ASOIAF), Michonne (TWD), Faith Lehane (BTVS), Leia Organa (Star Wars)

4: Top 3 background characters or side characters (Skipping this one because I honestly have no clue what to put lol)

5: Top 3 romantic relationships between characters

(So….i’m only going to include relationships that are already explicitly romantic in canon. So that excludes ships like Zutara, Bamon, and Fuffy).

Max & Anne (Black Sails) My tender pirate lesbians. I love them so much

Chloe & Max (Life is Strange) The childhood best friends to lovers trope. They’ll literally go to the ends of the earth for each other.

Ian & Mickey (Shameless) Siiiiiiigggggghhhhs. I hate Shameless.

7: Top 3 fictional families

The Starks (ASOIAF/GOT) It’s a hard life being a Stark stan but…I really do love my tragic wolf family so much. And I only hope that the surviving members of it can one day find some semblance of peace.

The Skywalkers Obviously not a traditional family, but I love my trashy dramatic space family. And i’ll forever hate Disney for killing them. No Star Wars without Skywalkers imo.

The Weasleys (Harry Potter) Weasley stan forever and always. They took Harry under their wing as much as they were allowed to and probably would have adopted him if Dumbledore had let them. And they did all that even though they weren’t well off themselves.

8: Top 3 fictional parents

Ned & Catelyn Stark (ASOIAF/GOT)  (Although if i’m being honest, mainly just Catelyn lol.)

Stef & Lena Adams-Foster (The Fosters) My beautiful lesbian moms

Jack & Emily Spier (Love, Simon) Going by the movie and not the book. But they were lovely

9: Top 3 fictional siblings

Luke & Leia (Star Wars) My beautiful space twins who absolutely adore each other

The Starklings (ASOIAF/GOT) And this includes several different combinations. Arya/Jon, Sansa/Arya, Sansa/Jon, Robb/Jon, Robb/Bran, ect.

The Gallagher siblings (Shameless): They’re trashy and downright awful to each other sometimes but…I still get the feels. My favorite pairs are Fiona/Lip, Ian/Lip, and Fiona/Carl.

Honorable mention to Damon/Stefan from TVD (Trash, trash, trash but still….feelings). And once upon a time Bellamy/Octavia would be on this list if I hadn’t stopped caring about The 100 lol.

10: Top 3 child characters

(I’m going to define this as meaning really little kids, not teenagers)

Lilo (Lilo & Stitch)

Rickon Stark (ASOIAF)

Boo (Monster’s Inc)

(I feel like I cheated my having 2/3 of them being Disney characters but…I don’t have a lot of child faves)

12: Top 3 fictional animals/pets

Appa & Momo (Avatar: The Last Airbender) (They’re both pretty prominent and sort of go together so i’m counting them as one.)

Hedwig (Harry Potter) (RIP :( )

Ghost (ASOIAF/GOT) (Along with all of the direwolves tbh. Where is Ghost @GoT?????)

13: Top 3 fictional locations

Hogwarts (There are sooo many HP answers in this, I know. Even though I don’t like J.K R*wling anymore, I can’t erase the years i’ve spent loving this series).

Ba Sing Se (Avatar: The Last Airbender) (Not so much because of the location itself but because some of the best and most intense episodes of ATLA took place in that location).

Winterfell (ASOIAF/GOT) (The origins of my wolf family :( Although….my love for it probably stems more from the books now.)

14: Top 3 fictional gadgets/devices

The Skywalker Lightsaber (Star Wars) (RIP…..I hate Disney/Lucasfilm)

The Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) (Not really a device or gadget since it’s a space ship but….i’m going to go ahead and count it anyway.)

The Marauder’s Map (Harry Potter)

15: Top 3 character backstories

James Flint (Black Sails): I will never get over the fact that not only did they make their lead character on a violent TV show like this gay, but that they also made a lot of his motivations revolve around his sexuality and the loss of a man that he was in love with. Sometimes I wish I went into this show completely blind because the “Flint and Thomas reveal were in love” reveal would have hurt and shocked me in the best way. It’s one of the biggest reasons why Black Sails is one of my favorite shows despite the issues I do have with it.

Zuko (ATLA): His backstory is really sad but his character wouldn’t have been the same without it. The two prominent episodes that showed his backstory (The Storm and Zuko Alone) are both in my top 5 ATLA episodes. It also makes his eventual happy ending seem even more rewarding.

Severus Snape (Harry Potter): I’m not a Snape apologist but i’d be lying if I said that the reveal that he was a double agent against Voldemort the entire series didn’t fuck me up for months after I finished reading Deathly Hallows lol. I did not see it coming, I was so shocked.

16: Top 3 characters who die

Eleanor Guthrie (Black Sails) Sometimes I legit have to pretend that she didn’t die in order to fully enjoy my Black Sails experience tbh. My biconic queen deserved so much better :( I’ll die mad about it.

Poussey Washington (OITNB): Her death was the final nail in the coffin of me caring about that show. They killed her off when she was finally getting some semblance of happiness :(

Tara Knowles (Sons of Anarchy): All she wanted to do was protect her sons and she was rewarded for it by being brutally murdered by Gemma and being taken for granted by Jax for seasons. FOREVER BITTER

17: Top 3 non-human characters

Ahsoka Tano (Star Wars: The Clone Wars/Rebels)

Katherine Pierce (TVD)

Rebekah Mikaelson (TVD/TO)

(Lol I feel sort of wrong for including any TVD characters that aren’t Bonnie Bennett since….I really don’t care about the majority of it anymore. But once upon a time I did love Katherine and Rebekah.

18: Top 3 fictional worlds/universes

The Avatar Universe/Four nations (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

The Wizarding World (Harry Potter)

The Star Wars universe (IDK what else it’d be called lol)

19: Top 3 animated series

Avatar: The Last Airbender: I’ve loved this show since I was a kid and still love it immensely. Such a good show with a great plot and amazingly developed characters. The only thing that sucks about it is the majority of the canon romances lol)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars: I’m not a prequel hater but….this show had soooo much better writing in terms of developing Anakin’s character. Also….Ahsoka Tano! And the tragic friendship between the two of them will forever make me emo.

And I think the third would just be comprised of some of the cartoons I liked as a kid. Hey Arnold!, Rugrats, Kim Possible, American Dragon, Spongebob, The Wild Thornberries, and ect.

20: Top 3 live-action series

Black Sails

Buffy: The Vampire Slayer

How I Met Your Mother (even though that god awful finale ruined it for me for a long time)

21: Top 3 animated movies

(Ooooooh boy. The only one i’m 100% sure of it the first one. And yes, I know i’m cliche for it lol)

The Lion King (Disney)

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (Dreamworks) This movie is sooooo underrated

Anastasia (Idk the studio that made it…but I know it’s a Don Bluth movie)

22. Top 3 live-action movies

(Again, not completely sure of my answers here….there are a lot of movies that I love)

Love, Simon God this movie was so gpoy

The Parent Trap (1998)

Juno

23: Top 3 books

The Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling: Siiiiiiiggghhs

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

The Abyss Surrounds Us by Emily Skrutskie Evvvvvveeerrryone should read this book! It has such a good f/f slow-burn romance.

Honorable mentions: The Storyteller by Jodi Piccoult, The Darkest Powers series by Kelly Armstrong, The Outsiders by S.E Hinton, A Song of Ice and Fire series by G.R.R Martin

24: Top 3 comics/webcomics

Top 3 obscure series/movies/books I recommend

Idk I don’t think I have any answers for this one either? Most of the stuff i’m really into is at least kind of known.

27: Top 3 musicals or plays

The only musical i’ve seen in person so far has been The Lion King. But it was fantastic. I also watched all of the A Very Potter Musical plays on YouTube if that counts.

28: Top 3 songs from musicals

I’m going to go by musical movies for some of these.

Breaking Free (High School Musical) (Lol)

Summer Nights (Grease)

Defying Gravity (Wicked) (This one is actually from a musical. I listened to it on YouTube and loved it).

29: Top 3 funny moments in fiction

1.That scene in Prisoner of Azkaban when Ron used a phone for the first time to call Harry over the summer and ended up screaming into the phone when Vernon answered it lol. (Harry Potter)

2. Katara: You’ve been hallucinating on cactus juice all day, and now you lick something you find stuck to a wall of a cave?!

Sokka: I have a natural curiosity (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

3. All of the Catherine and Henry scenes in that one episode of Regin when Henry accidentally killed that noble lady and they were trying to cover it up. (Reign)

31: Top 3 heartwarming moments in fiction

1. Sansa and Jon’s reunion (Game of Thrones)

The only good Stark reunion on the show so far (Sansa and Arya were cute until they ruined it with that bullshit storyline). It has everything. The slow approach after they first see each other, the initial shock slowly melting away as they leap into a hug, all while the Stark theme plays in the background. I have hopes that all the Starks will get better reunions in the books but until then….I truly do love this scene.

2. Zuko and Iroh’s reunion (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

This scene makes me emotional….pretty much every time I watch it. Zuko approaches Iroh cautiously out of a shame for his betrayal of him and because he’s positive that Iroh is going to be furious with him and reluctant to forgive. But then he doesn’t even have to fully finish his apology before Iroh is pulling him into a hug. It’s the unconditional love that he never got from his biological father.

3. Flint and Thomas’ reunion (Black Sails)

The fact that the very last shot of James Flint was him reuniting with the man he loved after ten years of believing him to be dead is something that I will never forget. 

(I realize that all of these moments are reunions but….ohhhh well.)

32: Top 3 scary moments in fiction

I can’t really think of too many scary moments because I don’t watch a lot of horror stuff. I’m sure if I thought deeply about it I could come up with stuff from shows like The Walking Dead or Hemlock Grove but since it’s been so long since i’ve watched either of those shows, my mind is coming up blank.

But I will say…that scene where Matilda and Miss Honey were trying to escape Trunchbull’s house always used to scare me as a kid lol.

33: Top 3 awesome moments in fiction

(Another one where i’m very unsure of my answers because there are a lot of awesome moments in fiction that I love. But i’m just going to list the ones that come to mind first.)

1. Zuko leaves the Fire Nation and tells off Ozai (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

For so long, all I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor I wanted, but really, I was just trying to please you. You, my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. My father, who challenged me, a thirteen-year-old boy, to an Agni Kai. How could you possibly justify a duel with a child?

The scene goes on longer than that but i’m not going to post the full transcript for the sake of not making it insanely long. But I loved it because it was a full display of how far Zuko had come in his character development. And he finally, after almost the full duration of the series, came to fully understand that his abuse wasn’t his fault. And got to fully confront his abuser. I just…this scene is so important. 

2. Max’s speech to Anne in 4x08 (Black Sails) 

I remember when I first met Eleanor, how stunned I was. A woman who spoke the way she did, who had no fear of the world or the men who reigned over it.mWhen I became her lover, I watched the decisions she made and resolved to learn from them. When I became her rival, I watched the mistakes she made and resolved never to repeat them. But at the end, when I felt I had surpassed her in every way, it seemed as though there was something she was still trying to say to me. Surrendering everything she had sacrificed so dearly for, because it would have come at the expense of the one she loved. She was trying to tell me, I just could not hear her, about what is truly important. I said no to Marion Guthrie’s plan, despite having no alternative and at the risk of losing the entire endeavor, because I refuse to situate a man in a position where he might interfere one day with my ability to repair things with you.  You are the bravest person I have ever known. The truest person I have ever known. And I betrayed you and it sickens me. I’m so sorry for trying so hard to protect the wrong things. For failing to see that there is nothing important that does not include you.

I’ll always be upset that Eleanor died and that this was the last Maxanne scenes of the series (side-eyes the finale) but I will forever love this scene because it represents so much about what I love about the Maxanne and Maxanor relationships. The fact that Max, a lesbian character, had her arc and development throughout the show so beautifully shaped by her relationships with two women (both of whom were her lovers at some point) will forever make me emotional. 

3. Luke refuses to fall to the dark side (Star Wars)

Never. I’ll never turn to the Dark Side. You have failed, Your Highness. I am a Jedi, like my father before me.

I’ve already talked at length about why I love this scene so I won’t go into it too much. But it represents everything I love about Luke’s character. The ending of his journey is not the typical violent fest that most male protagonists in this genre end with it, it’s refusing to fall into the same trap that Palpatine had lured Anakin into years before. I just…freaking love Luke Skywalker. 

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, October 27th, 2018

CLEM: Not that I'm knocking the nacho cheese ones. I like the taste. It's just the texture I can't deal with. CLEM: So gritty. Kinda hurts my tongue. So, I'd give 'em a seven. Maybe a seven-five... and, you think this is dumb, don't you? DAWN: Uh, no! No, as taste tests go, this is definitely one of the better ones I've been to. CLEM: I get it. No biggie. Uh, you wanna play cards? DAWN: Clem... CLEM: I can be a real boredom-buster, if you just give me half a chance.

~~Two To Go~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Honeysuckle Rose (Willow & Xander, PG) by sparrow2000

A Little Night Music (Lorne, T) by Cornerofmadness

Hell, Baby. Hell Baby. (Hercules: TLJ crossover, Hercules/Castiel, M) by JaneShadow

Cacophany (Cordelia & Kate, T) by Sinanju

Crux (Faith/Buffy, T) by dreamkist

Halloween Fun Times (Multiple crossovers, G) by suzannahbee123

Twice The Fun (MCU crossover, Bucky/Reader, E) by suzannahbee123

Goldilocks (Buffy/Spike, M) by PrettyPoppy

Impress (Buffy/Reader) by Charlotte

El camino de la errante (Buffy, M) by PhantomRaven11

[Chaptered Fiction]

Daddy's Little Monster Complete (Connor, G) by Cornerofmadness

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Shadowed Suspicion Chapter 88 (G) by madimpossibledreamer

Madgirls and Englishmen Chapter 12 (Girl Genius crossover, Spike, T) by Samarkand12

Harry Potter and the Shell of the God-King Chapter 2 (HP crossover, Illyria, M) by JoeHundredaire

The Tribe of the Cave Slayer. Chapter 10 (T) by steeleye

In a Corner of My Soul Chapter 10 (Giles/Ethan, T) by DragonsPhoenix

Feeling Something Complete (Buffy/Spike, M) by Chandrian

Mothers Chapter 27 (M) by Forgotten Conscience

Man-pire and Wife Chapter 6 (Buffy/Spike, T) by Slayerette16

Segue Chapter 11 (Xander, Cordelia, K) by Francis Eugene

Daniel Osbourne: God Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, PG13) by spikeoxide

Charlie Foxtrot Chapter 1 (Buffy/Spike, PG13) by angelic_amy

[Images, Audio & Video]

Banners, Wallpaper, Icon: September/October Icons + Some Other Art by sweet-lyri

Artwork: Buffy & Willow by thepeggysue

Artwork: I drew Spike for inktober. Ballpoint pen by JoannaCraft

[Reviews & Recaps]

BtVS season 1 episodes ranked by fallingtowers

[Recs]

Old Fanworks Friday - Resistance is Futile by cmk418

Flashforward Weekend is Here! (Recs) by yourlibrarian

5 Favorite B/A Fics From The Last Year by gracenm

5 Great 2018 Summer of Giles fics by sparrow2000

5 Time Travel Fics by dragonyphoenix

More Links Than A Bag Of Sausages by petzipellepingo

5 Great Poems Written in 2018 by thenewbuzwuzz

5 Poems from "The Slayer Verses" by Kim Wade by thenewbuzwuzz

Join along in our Flashforward Weekend! (Recs) by yourlibrarian

A Mixed Bag of Treats from 2018 by dragonyphoenix

[Community Announcements]

Join along in our Flashforward Weekend! at buffyversetop5

[Fandom Discussions]

Spike and Buffy being engaged because of a spell by long-live-the-many-fandoms

Most heart wrenching moment of the series? by Buffy Summers

If Jasmine provided perfect happiness, how come Angel didn't turn? by NeddaSai

Bangel FanFiction Pet Peeves

AtS Season 2 Rewatch

After Show Reactions

Xander in Phases by Priceless

BtVS rewatch: SEASON 6 by Stoney

Throwback to Christmas 2016, when I got the best gift of all time from my sister by J0EtheSH0W

Today I get to walk around wearing SMG's face by Larakine

Prime Users in the UK, Angel is available on Prime Video! by GaryBuseysTeef

Scariest antagonists? by brightephemera

New Sabrina... Who else is watching? by PM_ME_BrusselSprouts

Angel Ponce by scarlet_sage

Just finished, have questions. [Spoilers, obviously] by rara623

Don’t know if this has been discussed here before or not by more_than_words

Buffy halloween costume help by misty088

[Articles, Interviews, and Other News]

Spike from Buffy was with Jim in London on The Taz Show

James Marsters has returned to narrate the audiobook edition of QUEEN OF AIR AND DARKNESS by cassieclare1

LIVE at London Comic Con with James Marsters