#almost none of my emotions genuinely matter in the face of survival 👍
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the thing they don't tell you is that when you're depressed and poor that the food is actually what drives you most fucking insane
#if i have to eat kraft mivrowave mac again i might actually just permanently dissociate or something#vent#i always feel weird about posting stuff lile this on main but lile. i don't really have anyone else to complain to at the moment and i want#to complain#like oh my god. i couldn't tell you how fucking sick i am of eating the same stuff all the time#can't even actually go grocery shppping because we have to do all of it online#like i can't peruse a store and think about the things i want while i'm in shopping brain#and if i did it's a hell of a walk anyway#and i need to just shut up and eat the stupid food because it doesn't matter if i like it or not#almost none of my emotions genuinely matter in the face of survival 👍#<- that has been the toughest part to grapple with from being a human living under capitalism#like. nothing i feel actually matters because i have to just get through it to leep living anyway#i'm just so tired of all of it. i want to curl up and sleep for forever when i'm hungry#but the prospet of eating food makes me want to die#it's fine. i'm fine. i just don't wanna be here doing this right now. i wanna just study cool stuff and play games#and take care of people but that's just an impossibility right now
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