#alls well until jango tracks him to the Negotiator and is like. wait what. ???

[redbean-nom]

@syn0vial get peer reviewed

I’d like for every Star Wars/clone wars nerd to give me their best bet on what would have happened in the Star Wars universe had Jango Fett not died on Geonosis. Like, what would have happened then, huh?? Tell me, nerd.

[lurkingcrow]

A little bit more in the “Pirate Jedi AU” featuring Captain Jinn, Menace to Monopolies, Friend of Freedom and general headache to Senate and Sith. Sorry, it got long again. Many thanks to @albaparthenicevelut @tygermama  and @resistancepilots for their contribution to the crack!

So we left off with the Not-Clone Wars in full swing (albeit much more slowly and at a slightly smaller scale as neither side had as much time to build up resources), and Mandalore, Naboo and a few other systems sitting it out in “Neutrality” while Qui-Gon and his vigilantes continue to make a nuisance of themselves by, you know, actually attempting to do some good where it’s needed. Between their own resources and their contacts with other disreputable groups (*cough* Hondo) they manage to become quite a thorn in the side of the Hutts, CIS and Republic alike. Which is why Qui-Gon shouldn’t really have been surprised when the bounty on his head suddenly became large enough to actually tempt the big players. As a Jedi he was used to the idea of being worth something in ransom or as revenge, but this is ridiculous! You could buy a small moon for that price!

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes and points out that that the council probably would think it worth purchasing a moon if they could get Qui-Gon to promise to stay there quietly with his menagerie so they never have to hear his name ever again. Besides which, why is Qui-Gon surprised- his bounty has been increased despite his diplomatic immunity as the husband of a planetary ruler, and not-so-little Ani has to be the most valuable teenager in the galaxy. Speaking of which has Qui-Gon had a look at some of the fine print?

Qui-Gon glares at him before taking off his eyepatch and putting on his glasses. Huh. Sure they’re all worth a lot to the Hutts dead, but the price for capturing them, and particularly Anakin, alive is extraordinary and… wait.  Dooku makes sense. He has made no secret of the fact that he wants Qui-Gon and his apprentices to join him, and will not hesitate to hold them captive until they turn. (He’s managed to take them prisoner once or twice, but between Qui-Gon’s stubbornness, Obi-Wan’s preparedness, Anakin’s creativity and their typical uncanny luck, the wily old Sith has had little success). But why in the name of the Force does someone on Coruscant want them, and in particular Anakin, alive so badly? It makes Qui-Gon very uneasy.

But the show must go on, and foiling kidnapping attempts by various bounty hunters simply becomes a part of their lifestyle. So far Cad Bane is the only on to even come close, and even he left swearing never again - facing Qui-Gon Jinn in combat is one thing, facing Qui-Gon Jinn on a mission to retrieve his sons is another thing entirely ( He has a very particular set of skills. Skills he has acquired over a very long career)! One day Obi-Wan notices that there is a name conspicuously absent from the list of those who’ve tried to collect on the bounty. And somehow he doesn’t think it’s respect for his wife that’s preventing Jango Fett from giving it a shot. Since he has his own ship he takes the opportunity to do a little bit of digging and find out what the man is up to these days…

Meanwhile, Qui-Gon is having a very interesting conversation with a certain small green gremlin. Let’s take a step back. For the moment Palpatine is content with keeping the war at a slow boil, the point being to slowly consolidate power while whittling away at his enemies until the pieces are in place to really step things up. After all the longer the conflict goes on the less resistance he’ll have when he makes his move, and Sidious is nothing if not patient.

So unlike in canon, the Jedi have managed to avoid being pulled as deeply into the war effort, but it is an ongoing struggle. Their primary argument, apart from (“we are peacekeepers, not soldiers”) is that they simply do not have the numbers to participate in full scale conflict. As a result, they have primarily been involved small scale tactical missions where a handful of Jedi can make a difference to the outcome of the primary battle or in campaigns where a Sith presence has been confirmed. It’s still costing them heavily though, and the Senate is constantly pushing for greater involvement.

So tensions are strained, and right now they have a problem that perhaps Qui-Gon can help them with. Ryloth is under blockade and there is a desperate need to get humanitarian supplies in - it has been suggested that Jedi pilots might be able to run the blockade but the bigger problem is the lack of supply staging post - Toydaria would be ideal, but allowing the Republic in would break their neutrality and the negotiations would take time that Ryloth doesn’t have. Qui-Gon groans because he can see where this is going, and Anakin’s excitement at the prospect of combining his favourite pastimes of piloting and heroics is palpable.

While he’s more than happy to help out the people of Ryloth, Qui-Gon is a little hesitant - while transferring the supplies at Toydaria shouldn’t pose a problem, particularly if they make it look like smuggled goods, showing up and smashing through a CIS fleet would make him and his fleet a legitimate target. Yoda points out that he already is. Qui-Gon complains that’s not the point - he is not about to ally with the Republic and he refuses to give any suggestion that he ever will. Especially given the precarious balance he and the planets under his protection are keeping in order to not be crushed by either party’s military might. They agree to think it over and talk again in a day or so to make a final decision.

So the last thing is Qui-Gon needs is a slightly garbled message from Obi-Wan ranting about Mandalorian bounty hunters, clones and a Jedi army. As it happens Quinlan Vos had been on the trail of some suspicious rumours and on finding a link to Jango Fett had happily teamed up with his old friend to track him down. This had eventually led them to Kamino, and while Quinlan remained out of sight so as not to tip off Fett, the lightsaber and a bit of quick talking was enough to convince the Kaminoans that “Master Kenobi” was here to check on the progress of the Army, which is still some time away from full operational capacity, but the first units are ready for deployment if necessary.  Vos is shocked. Obi-Wan is horrified. Neither of them can quite believe the council would have ordered this, but both can see the potential implications.

Forgetting the moral dilemmas involved, the presence of an Army designed to serve the Jedi can only lead to bad things. For a start, there’ll be no keeping away from the front lines, and the long term nature of the project will make it appear as if their previous stance was only stalling for time until they could provide the Republic the military force it needs. Great for morale no doubt, but it welds them intrinsically to the will of the Senate. And if they do use this army? While large it’s not going to be enough to finish the war quickly, and as a result the scale of the conflict will only ramp up so much higher. This is bad. Very bad. Master you need to find out immediately if this really was the work of someone on the council!

This, unfortunately sounds like the kind of conversation you can't​ have over the comm, so Qui-Gon hastily arranges to sneak himself on to Coruscant in the entourage of an “outraged” Queen Amidala ( Padme had plenty of diplomatic issues to use as a pretext, she just couldn't be bothered to lodge them in person before now). He leaves Anakin with the fleet and instructions listen to Obi-Wan and relay any messages as necessary. Given that bounty there is no way his apprentice is getting anywhere near this vipers nest!

Mace Windu is having a nightmare. That is the only explanation for why he is being woken up by the image of Qui-Gon Jinn in an obviously stolen robe standing over him and demanding to speak to the full council. Immediately. When the council is convened he learns the nightmare is real and even worse than he could have imagined. An army of sentient beings commissioned in the orders of a paranoid Jedi Master missing for years whose very existence will spell disaster. And without Jinn and Kenobi they might never have known until it was too late to do anything but react! A nightmare.

Relieved that the council has not suddenly become less sane than usual, and that there's nothing he can do to immediately solve the problem Qui-Gon figures it’s probably time to head back before his apprentice does something ill-advised… and then Anakin urgently comms.  Obi-Wan and that Reprobate Knight Vos apparently spooked Fett into revealing evidence that Dooku is up to something major and have gone to Geonosis to investigate. They've already missed one check-in. Sithspit.

Qui-Gon begins to rush off but Plo Koon points out that a credible report of Dooku's location is enough to justify sending a team of Jedi to report back, and if he can wait for them to assemble they'd be happy to give him a lift. So Qui-Gon heads to Geonosis accompanied by Masters Koon, Ti, and Tholme, and oh dear. It seems Vos and Kenobi were right - those droid factories do not bode well. Suddenly the visions Sifo Dyas had make a lot of sense. Unless they want full-scale combat they need to take out those factories ASAP. But they also need to find out what happened to Vos and Kenobi.

Of course, narrative timing means they catch the bulletin advising that there is a dangerous spy on the loose -  the execution of his partner will take place the following day in the main arena but until his capture the planet is now on lockdown and all ships exiting atmosphere will be fired upon. Great. That explains a lot - and makes their lives so much more difficult.  They split up. Shaak Ti and Tholme head towards the factory, Qui-Gon and Plo towards the city via their ship - if they don't make it out then the Jedi need to be warned.

So who does Dooku have? You guessed it - it’s Obi-Wan who is really getting tired of the whole “join the dark side” spiel. After all, what could he possibly gain from from it? It's not like the Sith has any leverage. But then Dooku gets a message and Obi-Wan doesn't like that look. He has a bad feeling about this. Dooku smirks and in walks Jango Fett holding a murderous looking Anakin in cuffs. He’s here for his bounty.

Obi-Wan audibly groans. Anakin protests that it's not his fault! He stayed with the fleet! It's just that the fleet ended up engaged in a skirmish over Tatooine and in the chaos Fett managed to sneak on board! Obi-Wan frowns and raises an eyebrow - and the reason he didn't retreat to the safe room they installed specifically for this type of scenario was? Anakin looks at his feet as Jango laughs and says the kid was too busy pointing the lightsaber at him and demanding to know what he’d done with Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan sighs. Forcedammit Anakin! Can't you listen for once in your life?!

Meanwhile in the catacombs beneath the droid factory Shaak Ti and Tholme run into an injured Quinlan - he’s been using his psychometry to navigate but he hasn't been so good at avoiding all the patrols and is beginning to tire. As he explains, he has a stash of explosives courtesy of Obi-Wan - if placed correctly the “Skywalker Specials” should be capable of bringing down the entire complex. No-one quite wants to think about why Kenobi would be carrying around that much firepower, but they're not about to look a gift eopie in the mouth. With two Jedi Masters to back him up Quinlan sets about finishing the job. Then they can collect the rest of their party and blow this joint. Literally.

Back with Qui-Gon and Plo, who have been slowly infiltrating the complex and they’ve found the prison cells and by proxy Anakin and Obi-Wan. Plo stays back to watch for guards while Qui-Gon attempts to break them out. Unfortunately Dooku was expecting this, and was lurking in the shadows - he knows his former padawan, and there’s no way he wouldn’t come running to the rescue. The trap has been well baited.  Now it’s very simple - Qui-Gon puts down his lightsaber and the boys don’t get hurt. Anakin swears in impressively vugar huttese. Obi-Wan admonishes him - insults should be given in a language your captor understands! Cue the lightning. Qui-Gon’s anger is immense and Dooku revels in it- come now, feel your power!

They duel, hard and fast, and are so focused on one another that they don’t notice Plo cutting power to the restraints and Obi-Wan and Anakin wriggling their way out. Battle droids prevent their escape however, and after an impressive display of lightsaber skills and a frantic chase through the complex they all end up trapped in that infamous arena watching as Qui-Gon and Dooku battle it out in the stands above. And they’re getting worried - the droids seem never ending and Obi-Wan swears he can almost see a flash of gold in Qui-Gon’s eyes...

And then the air seems to explode.

Skywalker Specials are nothing to joke about.

Destruction and debris rains down everywhere and there is chaos. Of course at just the worst moment Jango Fett shows up again - if he takes back his prize he might still collect on the Coruscant bounty - only to be taken out with a single stroke by the sudden arrival of scorched and burnt, but still completely composed, Shaak Ti. Behind her is the transport which has landed in the arena - they weren’t counting on quite that blast radius, but the ship is still space worthy if they can find a way to make it through the lockdown.

Qui-Gon and Dooku’s battle has been disrupted by the collapse of the area they were standing on, and a frantic call from Anakin has Qui-Gon racing back to the rest of the group and they take off. Despite Plo’s expert piloting (Anakin is impressed) they reach an impasse where they cannot make it through the cordon, and Dooku hails them telling them they have fought well, but escape is impossible, and if they set down immediately perhaps he might find it in himself to be merciful...

Only to be cut off in an instant and for a new transmission replace him. It’s Shmi, and she’s brought the rest of Qui-Gon’s fleet. Dooku obviously hasn’t learned his lesson yet, do they need a rescue?  Honestly she can’t leave them alone for a week without this sort of thing happening, and what’s this she hears about a Jedi made slave army!?

So they’re back to relative safety, many hugs and lectures on reckless behaviour ensue, but all is not done. The droid factory (and much of the capital) is destroyed, but the war goes on, technically Qui-Gon has outright attacked a CIS planet in conjunction with Republic forces which could be construed him choosing a side,  and they still have a clone army to deal with. Whatever they do they need to move quickly, before certain things become public knowledge and political factors come into play.

It is in the holoconference with the council that Yoda and Mace reveal that they think they might have a solution. They are grim, but there’s a twinkle in the old frog’s eye that Qui-Gon doesn’t trust. He really begins to worry when Mace gracefully tips his head to Padmé (who is currently with them in the council chambers) and thanks her for her assistance in working out the details.

As Mace points out, the clones have been made for the Jedi. Not, technically, for the Republic. Additionally, to their knowledge the only ones outside the Kaminoans (whose discretion is unimpeachable) that know about the circumstances of the their creation are part of this conference. Further production has been immediately halted and measures put in place to ensure no further orders can be made, but there still remains the question of what to do with the existing clones. They will only serve the Jedi, but they can’t exactly keep them in the temple without anyone noticing. Mace then smiles. On an unrelated note, you do realise don’t you Master Jinn that you never formally resigned from the Order?

Qui-Gon protests - he’s a pirate now! He lies, cheats and steals! He hasn’t been beholden to the Council’s orders in years!  Mace gives him a look because honestly there’s nothing new about any of that, but before he can say anything Yoda butts in.

“Follow the Force, you do not?”

“What? No, the Will of the Force is ever my guide but…”

“Then serve the Dark, you do?”

“Never.”

“Our teachings entirely you forsake?”

“No…”

“Then a Jedi you remain. Unless that title you would reject?”

And Qui-Gon is torn, because yes, he doesn’t consider himself a member of the Order any more, but he is still a Jedi at heart. He may have incorporated more than a few old ideas considered heretical these days, but fundamentally it is Jedi training he teaches Anakin and Jedi philosophy that guides his decision making. And, looking at Obi-Wan’s wide eyes, he is not the only one to have been holding on to old notions of identity. So he does not deny it.

“Then resolved it is.” Yoda finishes smugly. “Sad, it is, that our records are incomplete. Missing, are the records of Knight Kenobi and Padawan Skywalker. Remain so, they will.”

Obi-Wan gasps. Qui-Gon glares. “That’s cheating.”

“Learned much from me, your old master did.”

“We’re not going to suddenly start following the Order’s edicts again. For a start Satine would kill me if she lost her husband.”

Yoda looks very old, and more than a little weary.

“Tumultuous times these are. Not for all is our path. But rigid, we always were not.  Perhaps a new approach is needed hm? Jedi we are, not machines. Remember that we must. Interfere, we will not.”

Qui-Gon is speechless. That is… groundbreaking. And brain breaking. And says something about how worried they are if Yoda is even considering this.   

Mace interrupts the shattering of centuries of tradition to bring them back on track; they can discuss the legalities later. What is important is that technically they can give Qui-Gon the authority for the clones, even if it remains off the books in all but the sealed council records. That puts them outside Republic control, but still under a command the clones likely to accept and will support their rights to self autonomy (Shmi starts beaming in the background. She’s already making plans on how to adapt the existing support structures). Obi-Wan pipes up - that still doesn’t answer the question of what exactly they are going to do with all these trained soldiers.

Queen Amidala coughs delicately. The Kaminoans were paid in advance from a hidden fund large enough to create, train and equip millions of clones. Even taking into account the penalty for early dissolution of the contract and the portion needed to pay for those still in training, there are sufficient credits in the fund to support the much smaller number of existing batches for some time. And Ryloth does remain under siege... Perhaps once the pressure is off they might be amenable to a similar arrangement to that which Mandalore and Naboo have? Aggressively enforced neutrality in exchange for unofficial support? Their resources should be able to cover the extra system and her sources on-planet suggest that the people have grown cynical about their importance to the Republic.

That.. might just work, Qui-Gon thinks. Providing of course that they succeed in taking Ryloth. It would even dispel any attempts to accuse him of consorting with the Republic - after all you don’t go an steal planets from governments you’re allied with. And it does seem like appropriate retaliation for the head of the CIS taking his family members captive. The only issue is preventing the Jedi from being involved in the backlash. After all, Quinlan’s face had been plastered all over Geonosis, and the Senate will no doubt want answers.

This time it’s Master Gallia who smiles and asks the Jedi on board the “Will of the Force” how they feel about taking up a life of piracy? After all, if they’re going to be transferring the clones to Qui-Gon’s command, he’s going to need a few more Jedi to help coordinate things...

So that is the story of how Qui-Gon and company gained an army, another planet under their protection, and three more Jedi recruits (Tholme wasn’t spotted on Geonosis and decides to stick with the Order for now - too many masters leaving would be suspicious and he can take the opportunity to tag other Jedi who might benefit from exploring a new career. Aayla Secura is top of his list, and there’s a youngling in the creche who Plo has told him to keep an eye on too).

They fit right in. Shaak Ti and Shmi are fast friends, and promptly adopt all the clones, who watch them corral the unruly mess of Mandalorians/Freedom Fighters/Pirates that make up Qui-Gon’s fleet in awe. Plo steals a couple to teach Anakin about the intricacies of flying in formation, inadvertently creating the beginnings of the Wolf Pack. Quinlan Vos was born to be a pirate and revels in the freedom to finally take out some of the sleemos he’s been wanting to deal with for years, but couldn’t without risking his covers. He makes Obi-Wan tag along - it’s so nice to have his old friend at his side! Qui-Gon is torn between being happy to have other Jedi around and the despair of realising that he has now become the de facto grandmaster of his own pseudo-order. He can hear Mace’s laughter half the galaxy away.   

Satine is exasperated. Why does her family do things like this without telling her! On the other hand it all worked out in the end; she now has an entire clan of fairly sensible babysitters (both for the children and the Jedi who act like them), a new set of Twilek friends to talk revolutionary politics with, and an entire new set of legends to keep her people happy. She should probably have a chat to Padmé though - they may need to adjust their long term plans a little. After all, they now actually have a chance at changing the galaxy within their lifetime...  

Ok, that’s enough for now! The stage is set- all parties are in place just in time for the shenanigans of the true Clone Wars to start once Anakin is fully grown! Because there are still plots to discover and Sith to foil, and a galaxy in need of sorting out. But that’s a story for another time. :)