#allison had to grow up from age eighteen with hollywood's bizarre dieting culture

[in-tua-deep]

Hi, I'm the anon who asked for the fluffiest most heartwarming headcanons and they really cheered me up thank you so much! ❤️

asdfghASFGHJ i can give some more random headcanons if you’d like >:3c

we’re gonna go with a theme of food since i went grocery shopping today

After a while in the apocalypse, some things started to grow back. Plants are tough, and a fantastic way to supplement a diet of insects if you know which ones are edible

that’s a long way to say that the siblings witness Five just stuff an Entire Flower into his mouth and he also randomly will stoop while walking and just grab some clover or something and stuff it in his pockets

“And y’all say I’m weird.” Klaus says while they watch Five absently pick and eat an entire patch of dandelions on their Forced Family Bonding Picnic

Five isn’t the only one with food issues - Klaus and Ben also come with food issues and surprisingly Luther also has food insecurity thanks to his time on the moon (everyone noticed that nice note which asked his dad to please remember to send more food right)

Klaus lived with homelessness and Ben hasn’t eaten actual food since he died regardless of the fact that Klaus always sets a place for him or saves him a cup of coffee or tea to include him, and the day that Klaus manages to make Ben manifest enough to actually eat and drink is going to be a Whole Barrel Full of Emotions

honestly what i’m saying is that there is some really wholesome mealtime shenanigans where everyone takes turns providing dinner or lunch and everyone has to attend because it’s family time and there is. varying level of success.

Luther’s food is a little basic but edible enough once they all grab some seasoning. He doesn’t do anything fancy with it, but he can put together a fairly solid meal - and if he actually genuinely studied for this and watched a bunch of youtube channels on cooking well he’s allowed to do whatever he wants on his free time thank you very much

Diego is. Well. He’s been living on his own for a while he’s technically capable of putting a meal together. And if everyone is served scrambled eggs on toast then hey it’s breakfast for dinner shut up that’s a real thing screw you all. (He might have forgotten it was his turn until someone casually mentioned it and he had to make do with whatever was in the kitchen oops)

Allison looks competent in her life but the first time it’s her turn to do dinner they end up having to order pizzas because Allison gets distracted and everything burns. There is some extreme heist shenanigans scrubbing everything down and busting out the air fresheners before Five gets back and Five scowls when he finds out but is actually endeared though he’d never admit it

Everyone expects Klaus’s dinner to be a fucking disaster and it was but that disaster is not what the family was fed so it all turns out okay in the end. Mainly because they went shopping earlier and ended up with a bunch of freezer food and so the family is served a wonderful mean of turkey dinosaur shaped nuggets with sides of kraft mac n’ cheese and microwaveable steamed broccoli

look Klaus is easily distracted and inclined to experiment to the point of inedibility which is not a fantastic combination for family dinner night. the only reason it goes decently is because Ben exists to act as Klaus’s one brain cell and Ben’s intervention depends entirely on how much his siblings have pissed him off this week so.

Five probably just fucking. Proudly dumps a bunch of cans of food on the table and considers his job in ‘providing’ for his family done. When question he defensively says “they aren’t even out of date yet!” and everyone is left squinting at these metal tubes containing their dinner

Next meal though, after much explanation on what they mean by family dinner nights, is probably some kind of stew?? probably a really bizarre and weird veggie stew because you can just kind of toss whatever in a stew pot and go with it which is probably one of the only real things he knows how to make. He may or may not build a fire in the courtyard to cook it since he isn’t sure how to do it making an oven and stove but like. baby steps y’all baby steps.

Ben gets to opt out of being in the roster for family dinner nights due to. his dead-ness. plus the fact that Klaus isn’t reliable in keeping him corporeal yet, but he does make some bomb ass desserts on klaus’s dinner nights when klaus has the energy to manifest him (as long as ben bugs klaus to remember to get whatever it is out when it’s ready)

Vanya makes so many casseroles y’all. When she was on her own she looked up stuff she could make that could be made in one dish and kind of went from there. Did she watch too many shows as a kid where a kindly neighbor brought over some casserole? probably. but her food is actually both edible, homemade, and freeze-able which puts her a leg up on pretty much all of her siblings tbh

the last day of the week, bc ben doesn’t cook, goes to Grace and everyone eagerly awaits those days because let’s be real Grace’s food is the best food and yeah, they might have come up with this thing to give her a break in the first place but damn if she isn’t the real expert and at one point or another they all end up seeking out her advice which she is always pleased by

Five might mainline coffee but surprise! He’s actually not alone in that. Vanya has long long hours of orchestra practice and needs a kick to stay awake, and Allison is completely unashamed with her starbucks obsession. Klaus is always eager to accompany Allison and gets the biggest most sugary drinks possible (as long as she’s paying)

Vanya does try to switch and keep to teas though. Especially after the whole apocalypse debacle. Look her powers are linked to her emotions and she’s going to drink whole gallons of calming whatever tea if it means she isn’t going to punt her idiot brothers through a few walls and go full on Carrie (even if they totally deserve it). She does have some regrets about the frequent bathroom breaks though

Luther is the sibling who tries the teas with Vanya. It’s quiet, they don’t really have to talk to each other, and it’s supposed to be calming so it’s their little bonding thing since god they both need it a lot tbh

Diego thinks coffee pollutes his system and probably keeps a whole bunch of sports drinks. and SMOOTHIES or like those dumb blended drinks? everyone loses respect for him the day they witness him voluntarily drink something with not one but multiple raw eggs in it

even Diego “my body is a temple” Hargreeves balks at Allison’s health smoothies which havekale in them. Allison insists they don’t taste that bad but everyone sees her grimacing when she thinks they aren’t looking. The only one that dares drink Allison’s smoothies is Five and everyone is convinced his taste buds died with the rest of the world in the apocalypse

Allison and Diego team up at least once to try and get the rest of the siblings to go on a health kick. Luther reluctantly joins their side because of the power of Allison and is regarded as a traitor by the rest. Vanya was almost persuaded until Allison said they were having spaghetti and brought out spaghetti squash. 

Klaus is ardently against this health kick because he wants waffles for breakfast, mainly. Five is only against it out of spite because they tried to throw away his marshmallows for his sandwiches

Klaus gets really hungry after using his powers to manifest Ben. His power is usually passive but when he’s actively using it, he’s burning calories. This probably leads to at least one collapse before Five elbows his way in to coach Klaus on How Not To Pass Out and to keep snacks on his person

Five’s power is similar in that jumps burn calories for him, which is why he almost never jumped in the apocalypse unless his life was in danger. The peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches were created to give himself some much needed calories and energy. He fainted a lot as a kid and knows how to handle this kind of bullshitbut Klaus is kind of garbage at taking care of himself so i mean. it’s a big old learning curve going on and tbh both Klaus AND Five don’t eat enough they’re both too skinny smh

Everyone takes turns going grocery shopping except for Five and Klaus. Five because he’s not driving to the store alone because he might get arrested (plus his grasp of paying for things is. very loose). 

Klaus because of the Incident that Shall Not Be Mentioned involving a local grocery chain store, an entire aisle of baby food, just a little bit of public nudity, and a wet floor sign. That, and Klaus always came back with the most ridiculous things possible anyway so

Klaus tries to wheedle everyone into letting him go because Ben is with him, guys! But no one falls for this. Ben is petty and will take Klaus’s side or egg him on almost as much as he acts as Klaus’s sole brain cell, and Klaus also has a history of ignoring Ben even when he is acting like that one brain cell

Klaus does occasionally tag along with the others. Mainly Diego, because Diego has a not-so-secret Klaus-shaped soft spot. Klaus usually demands to ride in the trolley and knocks things off shelves like a small toddler or particularly mischievous cat

Everyone in the house teams up to make sure Klaus eats at least one (1) fruit or vegetable at least every other day

okay that’s all i got for now i have to take a shower but enjoy ;3c