#all the politically charged songs you’ve written and performed only to wait two weeks to post a lukewarm response on Palestine

[ohello0]

If anybody ever sees me celebrating a white guy im being so deadass punch me in the fucking face

[out-of-jams]

Supine | 01: Jump

Summary: Mina Lee has always wanted to change the world for the better with her music. After landing a chance audition with Big Hit Entertainment, will she be able to traverse the K-pop world full of challenges, heartbreak, and sacrifice? Will her petals bloom under the careful guidance of seven talented boys? Or will she wilt under the pressure and self-doubt?

    Warnings/Genre: Fluff. Angst. Idol!au. Trainee!Reader. Idol!Reader. Depictions of anxiety. Explicit language.       Pairing: Reader/Undecided

                                             | Next | Masterlist |

“I can’t do this.”

The words escaped parted pink lips in a shaky exhale of breath. They were spoken so quietly that the syllables were almost drowned out by the bustling noise of city life. Leaning against a light pole, a girl no older than twenty spoke into a phone pressed against her ear.

“Yes you can, Mina. Stop being such a baby.” A feminine voice responded over the slight static of the call. The voice sounded nothing short of annoyed.

“But what if I embarrass myself again, Soohee? I already bombed the last two auditions I went to.” The girl, Mina, leaning against the light pole sighed and tilted her head back to rest against the cold metal. Her dark eyes traced the path of a bird flying overhead, it’s white wings almost blending into the few clouds hanging above. A light breeze blew by, ruffling Mina’s dark hair and she closed her eyes as the strands stuck to her eyelashes. Too lazy to brush them away, she stood like that, unmoving.

“That was just because of nerves,” came the reassuring response.

Eyes still closed, Mina opened her mouth to spit a quick retort. But before she could get the words out of her mouth, Soohee spoke again.

“Look, fifty years from now, when you’re looking back on your life, don’t you want to be able to say that you had the guts to walk into that building?”

Letting out a breathy chuckle, Mina let a small smile upturn the edges of her lips. “Did you really just quote Transformers at me?”

“Damn straight,” Soohee huffed over the line before sighing. Mina could hear her best friend shuffling papers around from where she’d been studying for her upcoming midterms and felt the guilt creep up for interrupting Soohee with her stupid anxious feelings. “What do you have to lose?”

“Everything?” Mina retorted in a small voice. “If I fail again, it’ll just prove them all right, Soohee.”

“Then prove them wrong,” the voice of her best friend softened before hardening again. “I’m hanging up now. But seriously, Mina, this is exactly what you came here for. If you back out now, everything you’ve done will have been for nothing. Don’t let all that shit be in vain.”

“You’re right. I’m being stupid.” Mina opened her eyes again and took a deep breath. She watched as pedestrians weaved their way through the cars stopped at the traffic light at the end of the block. Shifting her attention to the building across the street, her dark eyes peered up at the many tinted windows. “I’ll go. But I’m never going out in public again if I embarrass myself.”

“You say that like you’re not already an embarrassment to yourself.”

An indigent squeak left Mina’s mouth as Soohee’s high pitched cackle blasted through the phone speakers. Just as she was about to retort, she heard the distinctive click of the line hanging up before a dial tone beeped in her ear. With a roll of the eyes and a huff of breath, Mina’s shaking fingers pressed the red end-call button before slipping the phone into the pocket of her black shorts.

Lifting her other hand from where it hung uselessly at her side, Mina let her eyes rove over the bright orange letters printed on the white business card pinched between her fingers. The cardstock felt familiar under her fingertips from the countless times that she’d pulled it out to stare in disbelief. Embedded innocently on the center of the card were the words:

                                               Big Hit

                                        Entertainment

And underneath that was a phone number and email for the manager in charge of production for the company, as well as the address to the building. However, the small printed contact information had been crossed out with a thick green sharpie. Flipping over the card, Mina’s thumb brushed over the messily written words on the back.

                                         audition anytime

                                            -pdogg

Maybe I should have called first , Mina thought as she read over the familiar words.

“Too late.” The words were drowned out by the loud honking of a car as it passed the slow driver in front of it. Clutching the card like a lifeline, Mina pushed off the street lamp and straightened the plain, quarter-sleeved white shirt tucked into her shorts.

“You got this, Mina.” The girl murmured to herself as she walked the half-block down to the crosswalk. As she joined a small crowd of people for the red hand symbol to change, she thought back on how she’d gotten there.

Two weeks ago, she’d been crammed into a small table in the corner of some small karaoke bar. Squished between a wall and her roommate and boss, she tossed back another shot of soju. The empty shot glass joined the other ones scattered on the small rounded table; the remnants of her failure. Earlier that day, Mina had completely bombed an audition for JYP, one of the big three entertainment companies in Seoul. And two days before that, she’d frozen up and forgotten the lyrics of the song she had been singing at an audition for SM entertainment.

Mina had been beating herself up at work throughout her afternoon shift at her job at a convenience store near Seoul university. Her boss and roommate, Eunji, had caught her mid-panic attack in the back room and was able to talk her down off the ledge. After she got her breathing back under control, Eunji closed down the store and brought Mina out to blow off some steam.

Three shots of soju later, Mina found herself taking the stage, mic in hand and adrenaline burning through her blood. She had always found solace in performing in front of a crowd. There was just something about being able to connect her voice and words with an audience that shot euphoria into her veins.

The alcohol had burned through her stage fright, and the second that the music blasted out from the shitty speakers in the bar and the music dimmed, the words flowed from her lips like water. All of the pent up emotions from the past few days weaved themselves into high notes and vibrato. Eyes closed and body moving with the rhythm, the stress and the weight placed upon her shoulders loosened.

It wasn’t until the applause broke through the ending notes of 2, 3! By BTS, that Mina felt herself coming back down to the present. The crowd packed into the cramped bar clapped her on the shoulder as she descended the four short stairs to the stage and made her way back to her small table in the back. However, she’d only made it halfway there when a man stepped into her path.

“Excuse me,” Mina muttered, stepping to the side to try and get around him.

“Wait.”

His voice had been fairly deep and she struggled to hear him over the deep bass of the next song playing from the speakers. Lifting her gaze from the disgustingly sticky floor underneath her shoes, Mina met the bespectacled brown eyes of the taller man. His hair hid underneath a black baseball cap and one of his big hands scratched the small beard on his chin as he stared down at her. The vibe the man gave off was calming and Mina felt her tense shoulders relax slightly under his gaze.

“Yes?” She finally spoke, having to crane her neck up to look at him because of her short stature.

“You’re good.” Giving a small jerk of his head towards the stage, his voice spoke clearly over the wailing, off key vocals of the new singer on stage. “Ever think about joining the entertainment business?”

“I- yeah,” blinking in surprise, the dark haired girl nodded her head slowly. “Yeah.”

“What’s your name, kid?”

The man’s red bomber jacket seemed to almost glow underneath the multicolored pulsing lights. As one particularly bright, ugly yellow light flashed above, Mina could see her own bewildered face reflected in the lenses of his round glasses. Something almost like hope started to bloom in her chest and she hesitantly reached out to grasp onto it.

“Mina.” The words left her partially dry lips as she reached out to grasp his outstretched hand. “Mina Lee.”

A body bumping into her shoulder jostled Mina out of her thoughts and she jerked her head up to see the red symbol on the light across the street changed. The small crowd bustled forward and her feet followed. Blocking out the sounds of city life around her, Mina slowed to a stop in front of a small staircase leading up to the light brown colored building of Big Hit entertainment.

Taking a deep breath to steady her nervous shaking, the dark haired girl climbed the stairs before her nerves could get the best of her. She kept going when she reached the glass double doors at the top and reached out to pull on one of the cool, metal handles.

Business card clutched tightly in her hand, Mina entered the building with a whoosh of air. All noise from outside the building silenced itself as the soles of her shoes tapped lightly on the marbled floor. Across from the entrance was a long rectangular reception desk, and to the left was a short hallway with a pair of shiny, steel elevators. Tinted windows filtered light into the modest sized entry and people could be seen calmly walking by, none the wiser about what was happening in the building.

The two security guards placed near each of the elevators eyed her and Mina nervously tore her gaze away from them. She hadn’t even thought about how tight security would probably be with who worked in the building. Even though she hadn’t done anything wrong, she still couldn’t help the automatic straightening of her spine.

“Hello,” a feminine voice greeted and Mina jerked her head back to meet the gaze of the brunette woman at the reception counter. The woman gave her a polite smile, though the slight tightening of the skin around her eyes gave away her suspicion of the young girl. “How can I help you?”

Swallowing lightly, Mina gathered her nerves and made her way over to the counter. The overhead lights bounced off the glossy letters embedded on the white business card as she slapped it onto the countertop. The receptionist raised a curious eyebrow as Mina slid it towards her, green sharpie catching her gaze.

“Hi. I’m here for an audition.”