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fireemblems24 · 3 years ago

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Verdant Wind - Final

Finally! Here's my last chapter of Verdant Wind. This route has really grown on me. So now 2/4 of the 4 route playthrough are over. CF and AM coming next.

Alright, so here I go picking my lover. As promised, time to pick Claude. I really want to see the lord trios' S-Supports.

PRE BATTLE

Alright, guys, just deployed for the final mission of VW.

Wait, why didn't we meet Nemesis halfway? Isn't he rampaging and stuff? Poor civilians.

Claude - What's our plan. Byleth - We defeat Nemesis. (Masterpiece of a strategy there)

LAMO Hilda calling it like she sees it and saying Lorenz's dad is a big coward.

You know, Silver Snow didn't really get a moment where everyone sat around and said why they were going to fight. It's a shame, because to date Lukas has the most badass reason ever: A battle between god and mortal? Sounds exhilarating to me. (He's like, oh, fighting god, good exercise).

Raphael talks about . . . food. He's really kinda one-note.

Still pissed we can't play as Judith.

This really feels like a chapter in a shonen battle manga before some big fight lamo.

BATTLE

Nemesis looks fucking annoying to fight. Rhea was basically a demonic beast on steroids, but nothing new, this guy looks irritating.

It also seems like there's wayyyyy more enemies this battle.

Oh, that's cool! I just noticed some of the enemies have the relics and are the OG users.

Is it bad that I REALLY don't want to kill the Blaiddyd, Gautier, or Fraldarius or Daphnel because that's Ingrid's weapon. Guys, I think I may be a bit to attached to the Faerghus friendship group.

Is it also bad that I wish they had Blaiddyd and Fraldarius standing next to each other. It would've been a good bit of lore at least :(

Or I'm just a problematic shipper, though they didn't put Gautier next to Fraldarius either. Very Felix of him though.

It's not Felix. It's not Ingrid. It's not Sylvain. It's not Dimitri.

I feel this one's going to be so much harder than SS with all those subbosses.

Aaaaand the water is poisonous. Because of course it is.

Claude's like that massive body of water that takes up most of the map, avoid it during the fight. Thanks, Claude, thanks.

This song is pretty epic though. The SS one was really good too though.

This level feels artificially dragged out with the poison water and million sub bosses. None of them were all that hard to deal with. I imagine this is much harder in maddening though.

Nemesis is legitimately annoying to deal with though.

This or CF had my least impressive units though.

I feel kinda bad for Claude that his final boss is some mindless zombie dude he has no connection too. SS got berserk Rhea, AM will probably get monster Edelgard, CF will likely get some super version of the TWSITD leader, and Claude gets . . . Mr. Zombie. Poor dude.

It's funny that I only had to kill him once. After Rhea, that wasn't so bad to be honest. Definitely easier than the SS final chapter.

Only 22 turns, not too bad.

POST BATTLE

Cut scene time!

Claude was MVP. He deserved it. He pulled his weight big time this chapter. He never dominated like Edelgard did early game or Dimitri has for a while now, but he really started performing in those final chapters.

LAMO Claude spouting lines like a shonen lead. This really feels liks the shonen route to me. Which isn't a bad thing. I love shonen. I think VW has turned out to be my 2nd favorite. Never would've guessed that half-way through the game.

Oh, dear God, the final lines are literally power of friendship. 100% shonen vibes.

That was a badass fight though.

Byleth smiling though. And the handshake. They feel more like friends than lovers, tbh. Especially compared to Dimitri and Edelgard. Claude really doesn't give major romance vibes in general.

DO U SEE MARIANNE AND JUDITH IN THE ENDING MURAL???? My girl Marianne! Yes.

Where's Byleth though?

Claude really focused on peace between nations. I really hope in Three Hopes, if the lords get supports, he and Dimitri find common ground over that and Dimitri's beliefs about Duscur.

S-SUPPORT

Time to marry Claude. I wonder if they'll make him as sappy as Rhea was lol.

I dislike how all these endings are a "united Fodlan" like it's a good thing. With what's going on in the world right now, it feels icky to celebrate the forced merging of countries. Even if in SS and VW it only happened because they all got destroyed, this positioning of their destruction as positive is what I don't like.

Mannnn it's going to feel SOOO awkward when I get to CF in the next day or so. I know real life and fiction are different, but ugh not good timing to get to "Imperialism wins and it's a good thing" the route.

Wait, what??? Claude won't be at my coronation??? What kind of BS is that???

Wait???? I thought I was marrying Claude??? Why is he leaving me for Almarya??? That's . . . not romantic.

OMG. Claude is choosing his dream of bettering the world over marrying me?

OMG this is hilarious. If I was really into the romance part of this game, I'd be so disappointed, but my respect for him has gone up by ignoring the self-insert and going off to do better things.

I also like how Claude is acknowledging that people need support and something to cling too sometimes. Exactly what Dimitri was saying. The opposite of what Edelgard believes.

Now I need a part 2 about Claude's fight for Almyara, but it's post AM so Byleth and Dimitri can come and help him out when he needs it in some epic cut scene.

It would also maybe finally give Claude the character development he deserved.

Aww, he had a ring too. But also the gall of that guy. He's like, I'm leaving you to rule another country, but uh marry me too I guess. It feels kinda tacked on.

He and Rhea both came clean about wanting to use Byleth for something. Dimitri doesn't have to. Wonder if Edelgard will?

OMG he's really like, I'm leaving, let's marry for when I eventually come back.

His picture's not bad. It's cute, Byleth grabbing his jacket.

But this was soooo much less romantic than Rhea's support.

That has to rank up there with Mr. Darcy among the worst proposals ever.

And wow, I don't think Byleth ever showed him her ring. What a bummer.

DATA

The MVPs this time are so much more spread out than they were for SS. Basically every character I used got it at least a few times except for Cyril.

Byleth and Hilda a bit more than the others, with Claude not showing up much at all until the end.

Paired endings time -

Anna got the same solo one. But she can't support anyone if I remember right. Catherine, Alois, Manuela, Haneman, and Flayn got the same as SS.

Ah! Annette solo becomes a teacher. Good for her! I like that ending.

Dorothea got married and had a good career. Deserved.

YESSSS, Marianne married Raphael. If she can't marry Dimitri, then I like him. And so cute, they run an inn together

Oh, Sylvain and Felix, haha. Guess they wanna do gay crimes together.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ENDING?? IS FELIX DEAD???

Dude, that's fucking brutal. They only meant once since after the war and it's only so Sylvain can hire mercenary Felix and then Felix's sword comes back, but not Felix??

Shit, that's tragic. I wonder if their paired ending being all hurt and no comfort is part of why they're so popular as a pairing?

OMG why are my Faerghus childhood babies are suffering. Dimitri dead in a pointless way. Dedue surviving alone and miserable. Felix dead later on. No mention of Sylvain being happy or married or anything. I REALLY hope Ingrid at least got a happy ending.

Why did Petra pair with Cyril?? Ok, I can accept this actually. Petra is doing her boss queen thing, and then older Cyril shows up to improve diplomatic relations and it's then where their romance starts. That's actually kind of cute. And I like the idea that all we saw was the groundwork. So much better than that last one, my GOD.

Ok, so Ingrid and Ignatz. Never in a million years would I have picked that pairing, but let's see.

Oof, so the people hated her at first, but between Ignatz and her being good at her job, they turned around and eventually the two married. At least she did better than the others.

Hilda and Seteth! OMG, talk about opposites lol.

That's actually pretty sweet and very random. They published childrens' books together. No mention of marriage, which is actually kinda nice. a M/F ending with no marriage between two completly incompatible people.

Leonie got Shamir! Haha, I liked the mini story and shoutout to the spider. So they formed a mercenary company together. That's 100% better than Leonie's solo ending.

Oh, shit, does this mean Lysithea gets Lorenz again? Like, no offense to Lorenz, but that's a shit ending. Even worse than Felix/Sylvain because at least that's got an air of tragedy that suits them and is a good story for angst and heartbreak, not Lysithea did all the work and got none of the credit.

Ugh, yes, Lysithea and Lorenz. Why? Poor Lysithea. I think I have her in CF, so she still has a chance for a decent ending.

Wow, like no one paired with a unit I was actually using. They all paired up with someone with 0 battles except for Lysithea and Lorenz and Byleth and Claude.

Byletha and Claude time, the asshole. What the fuck is that ending?? So the final battle wasn't the real final battle? We fought the Empire + TWSITD for the nth time? Why didn't we get to fight that? Feels kind of empty compared to Rhea and Byleth. Didn't say much about romance or about political changes, just there was another battle, Claude saved the day, Fodland and Almyra made friends.

Well, overall I liked VW by the end, but I gotta say, the Claude and Byleth ending stuff sucks compared to the stuff with Rhea. But I'm sure Claude has much better possible endings with someone else.

2 down, 2 to go.

CF is next. I need a Dimitri happy and alive for my final one, plus, it's not like the Russia and Ukraine stuff is going to go away anytime soon to make CF feels less eh . . . awkward.

#fire emblem #fire emblem three houses #verdant wind #claude von reigen #byleth

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astranva · 4 years ago

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Watermelon Sugar (Behind the Scenes)

Word Count: 1.4k

Category: fluff!

Warning: Some strong language & not proof-read. honestly? i never proof-read ok, i’m always too excited

Summary: Shots of long-term girlfriend Y/N in Watermelon Sugar (Behind the Scenes).

Harry could remember when he asked her to be in his music video. He had been nervous, the fact that they both liked their privacy in his mind.

She was a 19 year-old university student when they met. They had taken their time to form a relationship; going on dates whenever neither of them was busy, talking on the phone like high school lovers, and by the 5th month, she had asked him that one question:

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

To the both of them, the setting was perfect. Her eyes were slightly red from crying out of exams’ stress, but Harry had come to the rescue with Chinese takeout and lots of cuddles.

He was sitting beside her on the ground, eating on the coffee table after promising to pretend to be her student so she could explain what she had studied, just to make sure it certainly stuck to her brain. She was studying architecture, and to say Harry was enamored by that would be an understatement.

The moment she asked him that one question, his head snapped to look at her, one noodle dangling from his mouth, eyes wide underneath his eyeglasses that it made her heart swell and giggle.

After containing himself and swallowing, Harry had managed to reply;

“I would love to be your boyfriend.”

And then he was always there. He was there at her graduation, taking numerous pictures of her and being in almost every single family picture of hers. He was there when she was going through a 2-year full-on stress to get her masters, showering her with love and pride until she was officially an architect at the age of 25.

He was there when she got her first full-time job, postponing all his events and work for the day just so he could drive her to and from the office on her first day – he even packed her lunch and slipped in a good luck note.

Harry was there in all the in-betweens and she was, too.

They had shared many milestones together as a couple, too.

When Harry met Y/N in one of his hometown friends’ house party, her hair was long. In fact, he could remember conversing with her about his own hair length which he was letting get longer during that time when he was 19. Reaching the middle of her back, she kept her hair at that very length for a long time, until she decided to suggest something one night after her and Harry had wrestled to eat the last pizza slice while in Jamaica in 2016 as he wrote his album:

“Hey, what do you think about cutting our hair and donating it?”

Harry had cut her hair, and she had cut his. While she gave him a boy-cut, he had cut her hair to shoulder-length, only for her to surprise him the following day by giving herself a matching boy-cut and heavens, he was in love.

Harry was definitely thankful and grateful for having Y/N beside him, and in his life; but he was also thankful for the relationship that grew between her and the fans.

The fans weren’t monsters, most of them could spot a bad person miles away. They disliked problematic people; the ones who were ignorant to world problems and didn’t use their privilege right. But it was when pictures of Harry and Y/N from a time when Harry visited her on campus surfaced on the internet that a whole lot of people grew happy.

How could they not? They could see how happy he was around her – the happiest they had seen him. Pictures of him doubled over as he laughed, her attempting to give him a piggyback ride, Harry at a uni party, drunk, with his arm around her as they both cheered.

From time to time, a picture would surface of the both of them and it would make the internet go crazy.

The fans’ had many favorite pictures of the couple, and right on top, were the ones from her graduation; pictures of Harry beaming at her as he recorded her speech, them posing with her graduation cap on Harry’s head, him carrying her bridal-style as she held one arm out in the air with her cap, a picture of Harry taking a picture of her and her family, everything was too wholesome and raw.

They enjoyed how relatable Y/N was. The tweets she wrote during her exams, how woke she was and how she continued to help people educate themselves on important matters, how she used stan lingo.

Yourtwitterusername: @Harry_Styles release medicine you coward

More often than not, Y/N would retweet memes Harry’s fans would create, and the fans loved that. They loved interacting with her, especially since she treated them as friends and as one of them.

With all that in mind, Harry was giddy and excited to ask Y/N a question one night:

“Baby, honey,” he nuzzled his head in her neck as he climbed on top of her on bed, smiling into her neck when he heard her laugh at his sudden move before she wrapped her arms around him, “D’you think you can be in my music video? Watermelon Sugar?”

It had taken him some convincing to do but they managed to reach an agreement;

“Fine, yes. I’d love to go on a beach with you and slurp and all watermelons.”

To which Harry replied back to with:

“Wanna slurp on one thing.”

The day of filming came, and it was everything Harry had wished for.

His Y/N was in yellow swimwear that consisted of a bikini top and high-waisted bikini bottoms that made her skin pop and glimmer. Face devoid of makeup, just the way she liked to be in at the beach.

The final video had many shots of Harry and Y/N together, making the world go crazy.

In the final music video which was released in May, after Harry’s solo shots, it showed Y/N. Looking straight into the camera, she ran her hands across her body before another shot showed her lips taking a bite of a watermelon, juice going down her lips and down her chin, all the way to the valley between her breasts.

Another shot of Y/N feeding Harry berries as he had his head on her lap, a shot of her caressing his lips, a shot of Harry running with her on his back, a shot of Y/N splashing water and having fun with the other models, a shot of Y/N with Ephrata on her back, both laughing, a shot of Harry’s fingertips, ring-clad fingers showed as he glided his hand across her leg, and the shot that many fans squealed and went crazy over; a shot of Harry’s thumb grazing her bottom lip before they kissed.

But when August came, 1st of, no one was expecting a behind-the-scenes video of the music video they were still trying to get over.

Watermelon Sugar (Behind the Scenes).

The video started with everyone running on the beach, only silhouettes shown. The moment Y/N appeared, everyone couldn’t help but gush over how goofy their idol and his girlfriend were.

A shot of Harry in his yellow shirt and swimming trunks, showing off how he could do push-ups with Y/N lying on his back.

A shot of Harry and Y/N lying on their fronts, propped up on their elbows as they talked before she reached to take his sunglasses off his face and onto hers, Harry’s smile growing wider,

A shot of Harry holding a Super 8 film camera, shooting his girlfriend as she held two small cut watermelon slices over her boobs, tipping her head back.

A shot of Y/N lying on her stomach, Harry lying with his head on her bum.

A shot of Y/N on a model’s shoulder, playing chicken fight with other 2 models from set, trying to push the other model before managing to and raising her arms up with her mouth open, turning to look at Harry.

A shot of Harry with Y/N on his back, spinning her around.

It wasn’t just a video to anyone.

It wasn’t just what was behind the scenes of the official video, it was a window to peak through at Harry and Y/N’s relationship. They could see the support, the love that was within the both of them and how alike they were with how they interacted with everyone else.

What made it all better, was the comments a few models wrote after the release of the bts video on the couple in reply to the fans:

“Yes! Y/N is a sweetheart! Can’t even tell who’s more lucky, harry or Y/N!”

“It honestly all felt like a friends’ gathering, and it’s because Harry and Y/N were making sure it all was fun”

“You should’ve seen the stuff that weren’t included in the video! They’re definitely a dream❤”

Harry and Y/N weren’t a perfect couple, no, far from it but one thing they reminded each other of, all the damn time was:

they were real.

2,003,147 likes

yourinstagram: well that was fun! thank you for the beautiful women and men on set that helped create this vid. & an absolutely fun day. @harrystyles i’m so fucking proud of you and everything you do. i love you, rockstar❤

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hellobrockie · 5 years ago

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Some very long Rambly TROS thoughts

Holy fuck there is so much wrong with this movie.

Let's start at the beginning. Kylo tracks down the wayfinder/holocron crystal thing that will lead him to the sith homeworld. We learn that Palpatine was behind both the Snoke and Vader voices in Kylo’s head-basically the dude has been manipulating him for 30 years. Kylo states very clearly he's gonna kill this motherfucker. This is very in line with the Last Jedi- Kylo wants to destroy everything- the Sith the Jedi the Resistance- because he’s tired of the constant push-pull of rejection and manipulation. BUT THEN HE DOESNT KILL PALPATINE???? At first the film argues that he doesn't kill Palps because Palps promises him the big FINAL ORDER fleet? Okay...but I don’t think Kylo really gives a shit about a big fleet of ships when it's offered by the fucker who has been scrabbling his brains for shits and giggles. Once the ‘Rey Palpatine’ thing comes to light, we are lead to believe Kylo went along with the whole final order plan because he wanted to kill Palpatine together with REY???? Ahh okay?

So now we switch back to Rey. She's basically a jedi, cool. And I guess the Skywalker saber just fixed itself, with literally no scars or anything. A great visual representation about how this film feels about character development that happened in The Last Jedi. So Rey breaks concentration and fails the courses. According to the film, this happens because sheisapalpatine. If you had two brain cells you would realize Rey could be upset for normal reasons ...like that in order to the Resistance to win she’s going to have to put Kylo down like a dog. Its kinda cool that Leia is her teacher (more on that later).

Soo then we spend the next hour on a pointless adventure with the Trio™. Which would be fun, if they were ever established as a Trio. Arguably the real trio might be Rose-Finn-Poe. More on Rose later. Here is a list of incomprehensible things that happen here:

Kylo reforges his mask. Because Reasons? The knights of Ren. Because Reasons?

A handful of force bond scenes. The first one actually isn’t half bad. By wearing the mask, Kylo is rejecting the intimacy inherent to the connection because he is about to defile it. Grabbing Rey’s necklace is a physical and emotional violation. It's the first time he has ever used the connection for personal gain. The other connection scenes mostly just play around with the two of them being able to pass each other stuff. They lack the careful editing of TLJ connection scenes. Disclaimer: I’m a pretty hard core Reylo and these scenes really lacked the magic they previously had.This might be un-purpose Kylo is clearly pretty lost as this point. Dull, lacking in heart like so much of this film.

Kylo becomes a cartoon power ranger villian spouting Palpatine exposition and attempting to create suspense by almost catching the trio a couple times. Some of the dialogue is almost Revenge of the Sith Anakin level awkward. It lacks both the unstable angry energy of FA or the sad tired boi energy of TLJ.

Rey makes force lighting because I guess she was upset and it's a genetic ability now???

Poe gets a female love interest, becuase hes heterosexual. HeTeroSeXUal.

Poe and Finn flirt for a whole hour while Poe checks out some new chick and Finn now has a harem thing kinda.

Poe is now a spice trader. BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE'S THE HAN SOLO OF THE TRILOGY. Let's just forget that TLJ establishes that Poe is his own character, probably loyal to the resistance since birth. His parents are rebellion alumni.

Two death fake outs. I don’t know why they had to give 3PO his memories back. He lost them at the end of the Prequels and R2 loved him anyway. Chewbacca capture was a missed opportunity to get some resolution to him shooting Kylo in the gut.

Hux is the spy. Lovely. He is the ultimate weak bitch. Tbh the most consistent character development. Arguably my favorite detail on the entire film. Perfect execution. Domhnall Gleason is a gift.

Now onto Endor. Endor has so much potential and squanders most of it.

Finn meets other people who left the stormtrooper program. Cool. Weird how it's tied to force sensitivity. I like the idea of the force putting Poe and Finn in the right place at the right time, but I think to imply people’s ability to escape slavery is tied to force sensitivity brings us to the problematic terrority of the sequels. Also the only one who talks to Finn is also black. And Clearly has a romantic vibe. Okay…..

The Rey Palpatine thing is made explicit. Even though anyone will half a brain figured it out 90 minutes ago. More wierd implications…..who would agree to fuck an old man Palpatine? So Rape i guess. Rey’s parents were normal...is this some kinda side material hook to read more about them or some shit??? Kylo refers to Rey’s parents as ‘filthy junk traders’. He's right. THEY SOLD HER INTO FUCKING SLAVERY. However Rey’s parents are good people??? WTF THIS IS THE JEDI COUNCIL ALL OVER AGAIN.

Soo Kylo destroys the wayfinder to force Rey to work with him. Anti-Reylos will often get their panties in a twist about how it’s an ‘abusive relationship’. This is the only scene that really comes off as manipulative- in a way it never did in TLJ. Partly because they play up this idea of power-hungry Kylo (which has little basis in reality. In FA he just wanted to make Snoke his daddy. And TLJ Kylo is just soo fucking lonely) rather than sad boi Kylo trying to hold onto someone. Damn the TLJ throne scene is soo careful with getting that energy right, balancing the heartbreak with a little gaslighting (sorry off topic). Then They Fight. Kylo doesn’t even pull out a saber at first because he literally has no intention of killing her. Rey fights because she's mad. Leia decides to intervene at this time, which is weird because Kylo still has no intention of hurting Rey. Apparently Leia sending Kylo a text is enough to freak him out. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN THE TIME FOR FLASHBACKS, MAYBE A ‘YOU’RE MY ONLY HOPE’ TO TIE HIM BACK TO HIS NAMESAKE.

Instead Rey gets him in the gut. She then heals him, something that should have been really intimate. This would have been time to kiss him in that wistful ‘ I wanted to know what it would be like before I exile myself forever way’. This is one of the scenes that desperately needed more breathing room AND GIVE KYLO SOME FUCKING DIALOGUE YOU COWARDS. Healing him combined with Leia stuff should have reduced Kylo to a pile of tears. I think he would find it completely overwhelming that someone thinks he is worth it, worth a part of their life source, worth their final breathes.

Oh woah surprise Han Solo. This kinda works for me because unlike robot Leia and fairy godmother Luke, Han looks alive. Plus Han is only a memory so Kylo has to save himself, make his own choice. Aww fuck this got me the closest to tears becuase he looks so fucking sad about the fact that he can’t go home. Damn you Adam Driver and you’re big weepy eyes. His mother is dead and I don’t think he ever truly realized that she wanted him back. I guess with the way things went with Luke, he just assumed he was unwanted. Even now, Han is the only one of the 3 Ben can really imagine taking him back. Who knew Han was such a softie. At the same time there is something so unintentionally sad about the fact that Ben’s whole family can become force ghosts and not a single one gives enough of a shit about him to show up at the turning point of his life.

Also the implication that Ben turns to protect Leia’s lifework is strange. Leia’s legacy is the Rebellion, a democratic senate, a planet wiped off the map, NOT SKYWALKER JEDI #2 JJ!!!!! Ben doesn’t even interact with any of the larger powers at work, he just saves Rey.

Also while Ben’s guilt and shame about killing Han (his true sin) keep him on the dark side, this doesn’t address the 8 million other reasons he left the light. Also why do Leia and Rey never discuss this???? His own fucking family repeatedly rejected him because of his ‘Vadar-ness’ which is ironic considering…….

Then we cut to Rey’s fairy godmother-esque trip to Ahch-To where she arms herself with all of the Skywalker’s personal effects:

Mad that Rian Johnson denied you that ESB fanservice call-back of Luke being able to pull his x-wing out of water?? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered.

Mad that Leia didn’t have lightsaber? Don’t worry JJ has got you covered, Leia was always prepared to be a back up to Luke because she doesn’t have her own perspective or anything or like a whole fucking political system to run. Also she stopped training because apparently completing her journey would end in Ben’s death...ooo SmArT foreshadowing that Rey using her lightsaber will end in one dead Ben boi.

Leia and Luke ALWAYS knew about Rey Palps. Which is funny because they threw their own flesh and blood in the trash because he seemed kinda Vader-y. I guess it's wrong to judge people by their bloodlines unless its your own bloodline. I can’t even.

There is no mention of Ben at all- even though Leia and Luke both died for him and Rey put her whole heart into saving him.

Now to Exeger or whatever again. Almost two hours in and we’re back at the planet we were on in the first 5 minutes.

Spaceship stuff happens. Take out your checklist to get those pilot and ship cameos. Ooo look its The Ghost! OG trilogy pilot! Lando is there! WOOO! Poe’s girlfriend lived somehow!

Ben’s last words are ‘Ow’.

Palps wants Rey to kill him because I guess that will make her evil? Since when does killing people make you evil? I don’t think killing Palps to save the world in the same as ‘striking your enemies down in hatred’ or whatever.

Oh Hey Ben is here. Palps doesn’t care much I guess even though trolling Skywalkers is his whole life’s passion.

Palps drains the life out of Ben/Rey. They don’t die. Ben goes flying into a pit. Rey has to face Palps alone because I guess even though Ben/Rey are stronger together and are cosmically linked the lone jedi thing will happen anyway?? Is feminism about doing everything on your own rather than building meaningful connections with your equal partner. Honestly only Men would think a women has to do everything alone to prove her worth, Rey has been wanting allies and family her whole life LET HER HAVE IT.

Also okay sooo Palps did technically kill Rey’s parents and she had about a whole 5 minutes to think about that. Multiple generations of Ben’s family have been tortured by this guy, so I think it would be rather cathartic to see him play a bigger role in the end of Palp.

Rey enters the Avatar State. Cue more fanservice cameos (I love you Ahsoka, but you said it yourself, you ain’t a jedi). In another backhanded slap to TLJ were back on the TheJediDidNothingWrong line of thinking. Anakin is present ...I wonder if anyone else is interested in talking to him…...

Rey dies. I’m not sure why. Palps legit sucked the life of her and she lived, but the Avatar State killed her.

Ben crawls out of pit. Damn Adam Driver has legs for days. He heals Rey, its kinda sweet but it's also really really weird that he hasn’t said anything. Not saying we need an over the top love declaration but even his emotionally constipated parents managed to get an ‘I love you’ out.

Ben saves Rey. The thing Anakin thought the dark side would give him the power to do. Interesting bookend. Sad that my boy has such low self preservation, he gives her his life without hesitation. Why do we have to die for other people? It’s much harder to have to live for other people. To move and grow beyond the past. To try and be our best everyday, even when its hard. Isn’t that real redemption?

Ben kisses Rey. Awww. Its missing some of the elements of a big romantic drama kiss, which I would be okay with ...if it was followed up with a big romantic kiss with a sunset on a new planet before the credits roll. Alas this does not happen. The audience is somewhat befuddled since their had been almost no dialogue referencing their emotional connections. The ‘no one knows me./I do.’ dialogue from the trailer did not appear in film.

Ben smiles. It has all the boyish charm and innocence Anakin wished he had in the prequels. Aww he really has never kissed anyone. I wonder when the last time he smiled was. HAS THIS MAN EVER HAD A GOOD DAY HIS ENTIRE LIFE. I am emotionally moved until approximately 2 seconds later….

Ben dies. There is no funeral. No mention. Rey doesn’t shed a single tear. This dude literally gave you his life without hesitation. Is Reylo one-sided? Or at least not equally felt? Ow. U The Resistance doesn’t wonder what happened to the Supreme leader. We know at the end of TLJ Luke became a legend, I do not think this happens to Ben.

The Resistance parties. Cue Return of the Jedi film reel. Poe and Finn are heterosexual. No resolution to the stupid ReyFinn force sensitve thing. Two women kiss. It will be cut out of the Chinese release.

Rey buries the lightsabers on Tatooine because you know Luke lived there and Leia once wore a metal bikini there. Rey choose the name Rey Skywalker. Which is interesting because she didn’t get along that well with Luke. She finished her training with Leia Organa Solo, Princess of Alderaan who just happens to have been a result of a sperm donation from Anakin Skywalker. She found a father figure in Han Solo. She loved a guy named Ben Solo. I’m not saying she should name herself Rey Solo, but it certainly is better than Rey Skywalker. I mean it's almost like a person's worth and ability aren’t dependent on either a bloodline or acceptance into the galaxies most powerful family. Rey nobody would have been fine. I’m not going to get into the feminist angle of a self made women tying herself to the legacy of a man. Cue theaterwide groaning.

Twin suns. Cool. I liked them better in The Last Jedi.

Rey has a yellow-ish lightsaber and maybe made out of her staff. Wonder where she got the crystals from and why they didn’t introduce it earlier. Possible implication she's going the way of the ‘grey’ jedi? idk some Jedi have yellow actually. Ahsoka had a yellow one. Not sure since this film is back on the JediwayisBest bullshit.

We see Luke and Leia's force ghosts. Ben’s last word was ‘ow’.

In Summary, some odd implications:

Rey Palpatine is quite possibly the worst idea of all time. Worse than midichlorians. The highest level of fanboy pandering and Rian Johnson erasure. Rey has a lot of very real things to be angry about - her rough childhood, the deaths of her mentors, loving someone as dense as Ben Solo, having to come to terms with the fact that her parents didn’t love her.

Return to prequel-esque thinking on slavery. Apparently it is not that bad if you sell someone as long as you do it with LOVE.

Making Finn force sensitive is not character development. Its just half assed pandering and additional exposition in a film filled with exposition.

There is some truly awful dialogue in this film. Its shot composition and editing is so sloppy compared to FA or TLJ.

The force in balance means killing everyone on the darkside.

Rose is completely sidelined. She is the only Asian character on screen. She is seemingly replaced with a black woman who has a similar background to Finn and is a scavenger like Rey. Yikes. Why does this feel like an anti-interacial relationship thing.

Said Black women Jarrah talks to Lando, another black character in a bizarre dialogue that vaguely implies all black people are related. I might be really misreading this, but its weird. I would have liked her to talk to Rose instead because female solidarity.

FinnPoe is played up a LOT. But we are also repeatedly reminded they are attracted to women. This does not feel like woke Bisexual culture. This is pandering without making a commitment.

Rey’s worth as a character is related to her connection to powerful people in the Star Wars mythos, not her own traits.

Ben’s character resonates really strongly with abuse victims and outsiders. His lack of dialogue strips him of a lot of his agency. His estrangement from his family is not resolved. Vader, who arguably did a lot worse things gets a whole dying monologue and force ghost thing.

Oh hey C3PO said the festival is every 42 year old….OG came out 42 years ago. heh.

In Summary:

Watch the Clone Wars animated series

Fall in love with Ahsoka

Watch Star Wars Rebels or at least all the episodes with Ahsoka and also the series finale, it's got some cool force stuff in it.

Think about the cool force stuff in Star Wars Rebels and the cool force stuff in The Last Jedi. Woah.

Apply all this cool force stuff to your own personal version of the Rise of Skywalker

Wait for clone wars finale Feb 2020

Rinse and Repeat

Peg Kylo Ren

Oscar Isaac is the Captain on the FinnPoe Ship.

The Last Jedi was the Best One. Fight Me.

Find the fanfiction where Rey tells him what a good boi he is which reduces him to a puddle. Find the fanfiction where he cries during sex the first time, the second time, every time. Find the fanfiction where his force ghost gets a hug, where his family welcomes his back.

Read Fanfiction:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21852886

What I would do instead:

Delete Rey Palpatine

Ditch the mask. You have a fucking Oscar nomiated actor hiding under it.

After the Endor part, have Kylo join either Rey or the Resistance. Personally I think him hitching a ride on the Falcon would have been wonderfully awkward. And maybe give some closure the calling Finn a ‘traitor’ thing. This is fanservice-y, but no more fanservice-y than the rest of the film. And maybe finally answer the question of who does/doesnt know who Kylo Ren is. Would like a verbal declaration that he identifies as Ben Solo or least Ben or something.

Ben can still die I guess but maybe give him some kinda funeral. Or reuse the golden dice symbolism.

Slow everything done. Let the audience feel sad, feel happy. Oh and cut out those fucking death fake outs.

#tros #rambling #reylo #spoilers #rey #Rey of Jakku no last name given #why did i write this #catharthis #ben solo

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natsunoomoi · 4 years ago

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Finished Main Story of SVSSS....

So yeah, I did that. I still really liked the story overall. Some parts are a bit problematic in a way, but also in a satisfying way that is complex and I think can refer to some real life relationships and complexities of that because not all relationships fit nicely into the little boxes and labels that we make and that’s my take away from the ending.

-Don’t like the in-story “original author” still, but also don’t dislike him as much as I did when I started the story now that I got more of his perspective. MXTX posted all of this for free not thinking it would go anywhere really, but it’s true that some people do have careers where they make a living off of their webnovels and fans buying chapters, so that pressure is there. I’m sure that because MXTX is also a fan of D. Gray-man, she’s aware of the similar pressures that even mangaka at JUMP face. Like BLEACH basically ended early because it fell out of popularity with the fans just as Airplane mentions happens to some novel works. To be fair, BLEACH also lifted an entire plotline from another popular supernatural manga including carbon copies of the lackeys of the villain for that arc, so some shade was also deserved. Like Yukio is just Amanuma Tsukihito with a PSP instead of an arcade system or Super Famicom. D. Gray-man itself has also been on hiaitus several times due to health concerns and such. Same as Hunter x Hunter and other prolific manga. The pressure is real and some ways the original author is kind of a mood. He’s also still a huge coward and that’s annoying.

-I feel worse for Shen Jiu than when I did when I was just reading his backstory off of the wikis and stuff from just wanting to see Shen Qingqiu’s beautiful face. Like I felt bad before, but after knowing more and witnessing some sentiments that would have been gut punches if Shen Jiu had heard them, I feel so bad for him. I don’t condone what he did, but I also get it and wish I could hug him. Basically about the same level of thought as I put into how much I like Emet-Selch, but I think overall in the end I love Emet-Selch more because the 5.3 patch update for FFXIV broke me. Man, that MSQ. Like I’ve never been opposed to liking villains and always thought some villains were cool. Like my sister worships Sephiroth from FFVII for instance, but like I was never really into Sephiroth’s motivations in that he’s cool, but his identity crisis didn’t quite strike me as like actually 100% believable that torching Nibelheim and trying to rescue Jenova was justified or a natural reaction someone in his position would have. I like him more than Cloud cuz Cloud is a hot fucking mess of a person and he’s overall just cool, but as a villain his motivations didn’t resonate with me. A lot of people also really liked Kefka because he’s just straight up insane and like chaotic evil, but that kind of evil just isn’t compelling to me. Emet-Selch though straight up broke me and I thought about him for like months after the initial end of Shadowbringers when you do the fight with Hades. His story is ripe with meaning and nuance and the Tales from the Shadows stories adding more nuance and color to his eternal living torture of seeing remnants of people he cared about constantly without a break or a way to really “forget” and heal. That just stuck with me because I’ve lost people in my life too, and I remember what that was like and how hard it was to even live the day after let alone the following few years. I remember it well even today because it fundamentally changed me as a person, but I was able to find some relief and escape from music and entertainment and going out to have new experiences and travel. Emet-Selch could not, so his story really broke me internally. I bring this up just to make a comparison because I love Shen Jiu as well, but for nowhere near as dramatic a reason as I love Emet-Selch.

Spoilers under the cut

Okay, so since I was just talking about Shen Jiu, and maybe it’s partly because I actually find him to be gorgeous as well, but just reading his story did genuinely make me sad. I found his child form to be a little bit jaded already only because he was an older child already by the time he was bought by the Qius. When Yue Qingyuan was parting with him through the door he was being kind of manipulative there for extra sympathy initially, which isn’t really great. How severely the brother beat him though was hard to take. It was so extreme, like wtf? And perhaps the part where Qiu Haitang said that he’d been “freed” and the part where he was engaged seems to be true-ish, but yeah her brother is kind of really fucked up in how he still talks to him even though he is supposed to be his brother-in-law soon? Like what the hell. But like, the summaries of what he did online and even what Haitang had said also made it sound even more cold than it was. Like once he got going yeah, the onslaught was kind of cold. But he still had a moment of shock where like he didn’t really realize what he’d done right away and needed a moment to process. But after that it was like, well, it’s already done and people came to try to help the young master and he had to get out too. So the other people on the way out after that don’t sound nearly as consequential and it was really striking that not only did he not attack Haitang, but he spared all the other women in the house. Like Jesus Christ, were *ALL* the men in the house including the male servants and other slaves they had assholes to him too? Just, wow. But we don’t get a lot into what else happened there, but if the head of the household is bad and hurts him, it’s believable that other people join in just as Ming Fan joined in because Shen Jiu was complicit in allowing Binghe’s suffering. Really key though is the commentary of both the young master and his first evil master about his age.

That is such a huge chip on his shoulder because everyone keeps bringing it the fuck up. Including Qingge in another memory later on when he’s already Peak Lord. I know they don’t like each other, but that was really mean. I realize Qingge probably doesn’t care and that was the point to throw salt in his wounds because they don’t like each other, but seeing how much it affected him by him breaking his fan with his hands after hearing that. I’ve had people do similar to me where they make an insensitive comment to try to hurt you without understanding the actual circumstances. My sister did that to me once and I reconciled with her for a bit, but decided not to talk to her anymore again because of some other bullshit with her friends being childish. But when she did similar to me, I never really forgave her for it either. My story is not nearly as dramatic, but basically I had quit a job where I was being bullied by coworkers at the start of the recession and I was looking for jobs, but no luck with anything I was qualified for even though I went on a few interviews. There actually weren’t many listings posted around that time, so I would only be able to find a couple to apply to and by the time my sister came home I’d be playing games to pass the time cuz I was bored out of my mind waiting for something to happen. So then we got in an argument for I forget the initial reason anymore, but she brought up how I “wasn’t looking” for a job and just seemed to be “being lazy” and I just got so pissed and yelled at her that she had no fucking idea what I was doing everyday and that I am looking and there isn’t anything fucking there. I also lost it and threw a stool at her. I’m not proud of it, but I totally get the mood of what it feels like for someone to use something that you are struggling with as a negative to throw in your face even though you are trying *SO* hard to do your best. I especially don’t want to hear that from someone who gave up on their desired career that they were actually good at and making a decent living at for money and also can’t tell when their friends are kissing up to them and crossing a line and won’t stand up to them for being shitty people. Teapot meet kettle, and don’t throw stones if you live in a glass fucking house. I don’t like low blows like that.

My personal family issue aside though, I felt a lot of empathy for Shen Jiu in that moment. Seeing how he interacted with Binghe on their first meeting after that though, like I was sad for Binghe too, but I can also see where his misunderstanding happened on top of his insecurity. I also kind of wonder if Qingge’s comment also kind of encouraged this situation to happen. I still like Qingge because he makes up for it a lot later, but yeah that was fucked up.

The gut punch later was when Qingyuan was seemingly dying and tried to apologize to Qingqiu, but all the words and the things Shen Jiu needed to hear. His years of misunderstanding and not knowing and being in pain and thinking he was abandoned. That was painful. Shen Jiu is gone. We don’t know where he is. Maybe he’s dead. No idea, but those are things he can never know. It’s already too late, and that’s crushing.

I still just really want to know more about Shen Jiu and I feel really sad that there wasn’t some kind of redemption for him or anything. Even if it’s like Shen Yuan going into the recesses of his own mind and finds Shen Jiu locked in a box somewhere so actually the both of them share the same body and he’s just watching in a tiny TV what Shen Yuan does with his body. He’d be really frustrated and would probably scream at him a lot with his screams completely unheard, but at least he’d get to see people liking him more and would be able to hear the words that Qingyuan spoke. I mentioned in an earlier post that I saw a theory about OG Qingqiu transmigrating into Shen Yuan when Shen Yuan takes over his body, and I think that’s possible because Shang Qinghua says that when he transmigrated he was born there and was since a baby? I was thinking maybe it’d be more like OG dies when OG Binghe kills him and then becomes Shen Yuan, but who knows.

I mean, also I just crave more information about him. He’s so unfortunate, and I like wish more went right for him so that he wouldn’t be so miserable. Like when you see a character where their life is just shit on, you just wish that you could do something to take away their pain.

And with that sentiment, that’s also why I found the ending to be satisfying but probably a little problematic. Like Shen Yuan is just a good guy and he has that same sentiment for Binghe just because he’s a poor kid with a shitty hand in life, but he’s also like really clearly not gay himself and not actually attracted to Binghe in that way. To be clear, the book does seem to discourage this kind of relationship in that it works in the way the narrative unfolded, but it isn’t one that would work in real life really. That’s part of the depth of it though. Like SY emotionally cares for him and he even remarks that he feels kind of more like his Dad, but the physical side of their relationship is more on Binghe’s side than his, and he acquiesces to it because he feels bad for him because this poor child has no one. And yeah, fine this works in an actual book that we’re all reading and this works within the system within the book where the MC is in a book himself with really screwed up logic rules, but I don’t recommend this method of getting with someone you like in real life. It will not end well. If someone you like is not into you, emotionally manipulating them and crying and also stalking them until they give their body to you out of desperation to console you is not the road to happiness. You also won’t have a pressure timer of life on earth ending by combining with actual hell to push them into bed with you. The fact that SY resorts to this in desperation in order to try to help Binghe to get control of the demon sword is admirable in the narrative of the story in that he’s doing it because he cares so much about this person and that’s fine, but it’s a red flag if anyone did this IRL and put their wishes aside to appease someone else. There will be a breakdown in the future as one person puts aside their needs for the other one completely. Partnerships that work are healthy and equal. That’s not what this is. In the story, the two characters have an understanding though that makes it fine, but I have second-hand anxiety for the idea that anyone would try to replicate this. This is not normally healthy.

But at the same time, the fact that the characters have an understanding to that is unique to their personal choice is also realistic in a sense that life is sometimes complicated and a similar situation could come about, but it is the choice of the people involved. With constant communication there’s a slim chance that maybe it could work out, but it’s hard. The main level of complexity I’m thinking of is that there’s different ways to care about other people or rather to just feel about other people. Like you can have like an intellectual attraction to other people in that you just like talking with them and you’re good friends with them because of that. You can be romantically attracted to someone, but also not feel sexual attraction too. Of course you can also feel physical attraction to someone, but not really care at all about them emotionally or even intellectually. SY has emotional feelings for Binghe, but it’s more on the parental side or even just human in not wanting him to suffer. If this were a points meter, his values for his emotions and just caring about him would be at max, while physical attraction and even romantic attraction are basically zero. Like he also just like cares about him in principle? Like as an all seeing reader you look at everything and are just like, wtf with this shit? How can one person suffer so much? As empthy or even sympathy you feel for them so then if the other person is more not asexual or aromantic that can trigger some feelings which is what happened between these two characters. The reason I say it isn’t necessarily bad, but some shakiness on execution too. But like say like an asexual person is romantically attracted to someone who isn’t asexual, but they still want to be with them. Like the non-ace person has some needs sometimes and even if the ace doesn’t feel it, because they care about their partner they acquiesce to their partner’s requests because they just want them to be happy. This kind of very personal choice situation I think is really similar to basically what ends up happening between SY Qingqiu and Binghe where SY isn’t really interested, but at the same time cares about Binghe’s well-being so much that he actually just wants him to be happy and reluctantly is okay with the situation. IRL though Binghe would be REALLY FRUSTRATING to be so unreasonably needy and like narcissistically abusive in wanting him all to himself an isolating him from his friends and being jealous of them. In comparison, Wangji and Wuxian are a great deal more balanced in comparison, but I also really like this book for the original idea and the complexity of SY’s ultimate choice because I feel like it’s also a bit more real that some people do make that kind of choice. It’s not healthy or guaranteed to be a success or happy experience, but it’s in the realm of possibilities for the kinds of personal choices people can make because the other person’s happiness is worth the minor discomfort.

Ah, I just have a lot of thoughts about this. Part of it stems from myself being ace also and what that means for me. But also getting to the end, I think Qingge is a fellow ace and also similar to me, just serious about his job and loyal to his crew.

I’ve read some of the extras obviously, but I haven’t delved that deeply into the extra materials.

Oh also, I laughed so hard when Mobei-jun just tossed Shang Qinghua over like a chicken. It said like a chicken and it was hilarious. XD Like imagining that panicked sound of hucking chickens in Ocarina of Time.

Oh and ho-shit the alt punishment system came up for SY Qingqiu for screwing up his points. Got to live through half the process of becoming a human stick very painfully.

I guess part of me is still kind of just wondering how Binghe grew to be SO needy. It’s to an unnecessary degree, but I guess without any real emotional or social guidance in the Endless Abyss that could happen?

Zhuzhi-Lang though is a really frustratingly annoying character, but I also like him at the same time. I’m confused by him.

The only other thing I’m like confused a bit about is like, so the 4 sects that are depicted with Cang Qiong Mountain being the top one are like the great four sects, but like...where are they? I’m just asking because of the kind of meta general landscape of what cultivation and Taoism is like some of the events that happen I would think actually would call down some interference from actual Heaven. Like in the classic lit, whenever there’s huge disturbances down in the Human World, like the Heavenly Palace and like the Jade Emperor are like, “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” and go send people. I find it really hard to believe that such a disaster as the combining of two realms would be ignored by the armies of Heaven and like Nezha, Erlang Shen, and other notable actual deities up there would come down and be like, “The fuck you guys doing down here with these shenanigans?” Also, Journey to the West is like one of the most like influential books in the canon of Chinese lit and is regarded as literally one of the Four Great Classics. But none of these fools in these “great four sects” know how to stamp a floor and call up the local deity to tell you what the hell is happening in Jinlan City instead of sending your disciples to die? Sun Wukung did that at like every damn city and then also threatened to beat them if they like weren’t doing their job properly. Those minor deities are on the payroll for Heaven, so like...use them? Like I feel like they would know this too because like the ultimate goal for cultivation is to be able to become an immortal and end up on the payroll? I know Qingqiu is supposedly like mid-level or something, but like I think they should like know-ish where they’re going? Like in the future they would become one of those minor gods making records? Are they like not high enough to even talk to them? Maybe not, but I do think like Nezha, Pagoda Bearer Li, or Erlang Shen would definitely come down and be like, “Hey, what’s going on?”

Also like, Shen Jiu isn’t a great character and how he treats his disciples is bad and what he did was bad. But like, also, what is the standard to judge him really? Like Nezha was a dick when he was a child too. When he was 3 he went to a river and was swimming and liked killed all the fish and then a dragon prince came out and was like, “WTF? Why are all the fish dead?” and then Nezha instead of answering him kills him and guts him and then takes his tendon home to turn into a belt. Then like his Dad gets a complaint from the Dragon King like, “Hey, my son is dead! Your son did it. Hand him over so I can kill him or I destroy your town.” So then Nezha’s Dad goes to talk to him and is like, “What’re you doing?” And then Nezha answers him and tells him exactly what he did like it was no big fucking deal that he killed the local Dragon Prince and made him into a belt. Obviously there’s an argument and like Nezha basically rage quits his life and is like, if you’re so concerned about this bullshit I return this body to you and kills himself to cut off his ties to his parents. He was a rude little shit. Then he went into his Mom’s dream and threatened her until she built him a temple so he could get prayer requests until he could be reborn again. His Dad found out and wrecked the temple, so then he went up to go find his master who had him be reborn using lotus flowers. After that after being reborn, Nezha’s first order of business was to go back to his family and try to kill his own father for fucking up his temple and chased him down EVERYWHERE until other powers in Heaven, decided to send down Nezha’s older brothers with a pagoda to give to their Dad that would trap and burn Nezha everytime he tried to murder him. Is this better or worse than what Shen Jiu did? This is an actual god that people worship. A quite prominent and very famous one. Nezha is also one of my favorite deities and I had a huge crush on the Nataku from Fujisaki Ryu’s Houshin Engi manga who has mostly the same backstory as deity Nezha, and I just loved him in high school. He was a good guy. What are the standards here people? I don’t think anyone in any story in China can really judge someone like Shen Jiu doing an understandable level of murder as a response to trauma and severe abuse when they worship a deity that suffered nothing and tried to commit patricide and had a severe disregard for other life. In the cultivation world, potentially, this could be their future boss. I think arguably, he could be worse than Shen Jiu, but he’s a canonical real deity.

The above tirade for me is like a thing I feel like I would have said if I was in the position to be alive in Jinlan City and wanted to defend Shen Qingqiu cuz WTF.

Further, I’m a huge fan of Jigoku Shoujo and Enma Ai did much the same after her cousin saved her from being sacrificed, the villagers found out, buried her a live, made her cousin help bury her alive, and then she came back as a vengeful spirit and set the whole village on fire and killed everyone except maybe her parents who had their souls as prisoners by Enma himself? Can’t 100% remember. But like, on the scale of characters I like that have done terrible things, Shen Jiu is actually relatively low and under some people that are good guys.

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queenmercurys · 5 years ago

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So, I usually refrain from expressing too many “problematic” opinions on this platform mainly because I don’t wanna deal with anon hate. I’ve done so in the past and it’s never been fun. But since I’ve been talking my friends’ ears off about Disney recently, I thought I would give it a go here. Yes, in the safety of the “read more”-button, because overall, my opinion doesn’t matter and I don’t wanna force it on anyone.

Let’s cut to the chase. I kind of hate Disney. Don’t get me wrong, I watch Disney films and I occasionally reblog some Disney stuff. I think some of their earlier things, from The Hunchback of Notre Dame to Atlantis, are truly enjoyable films. But I’ve never been into the whole Marvel phenomenon. I don’t care about superhero movies, and the way Marvel is insistent upon franchising everything and essentially making every film a cliffhanger for another cliffhanger film, just makes the whole sub-genre less appealing to me. I’m not exactly an action film fan as it is, and when it’s done in such a chaotic way as the Marvel films tend to be, I’m even less convinced. I’m not saying every Marvel film has to be a John Wick in the quality of action, but... one of them could be, no? As for Star Wars, well, it is my personal opinion that Disney has thoroughly ruined the franchise, to the point that I actually prefer the prequels. Maybe they were messy, badly acted and boring, but at least they felt like films - rather than products made for a cash grab.

As for their other products, well, I like Tangled. Moana is passable. Frozen is fine (but only fine). But none of these animated films have touched me in ways that, for example, The Swan Princess, The Prince of Egypt and Quest for Camelot have. Ever since I was a child, I’ve preferred non-Disney animated films without even realizing it. Maybe it’s because to me, the non-Disney films just tackle more complicated, fascinating stories that rely less on the chance to make merchandise and more on the opportunity to make good content. I have often heard the term of something being “too Disney”. Which, basically, kinda means that a film is just too family-friendly when it really doesn’t have to be. And that is probably something missing from the non-Disney examples I just gave. Admittedly, all of these films are from the 90′s, and I’m sure Dreamworks and co. have now fallen into the same cash-grab trap that Disney is currently sitting in. But nevertheless, I still consider most non-Disney animated films to be superior to their Disney counterparts. Part of it is definitely my annoying habit of disliking something that is too popular simply because it is popular - but I don’t think that’s the whole story. And my dislike of Disney has only grown over the years, to the point that I’m considering boycotting the company entirely. And here’s a few of the biggest reasons why:

Disney+. Yes, every company has the right to try to make money, and they should. But I think Disney+ will only mean the death of other streaming services, and eventually, the death of diversity and creative freedom in the film and TV industry. I prefer Netflix over anything Disney has ever spat out, and while I recognize its flaws, I hope that it will not get overshadowed by Disney+. But who are we kidding? It will. Especially in America, Disney is this sacred thing that nothing can defeat. Disney’s mediocre films (such as Frozen and Marvel movies) are praised as gifts from God, and everything else is either compared to Disney products, or discarded because of Disney. From everything I have read and watched, Disney+ is going to be a real threat to all of its contemporaries. It’s going to be cheaper than Netflix and others, and it’s going to have the products the masses adore (again, namely Marvel). Netflix will lose customers, and Disney+ will gain them. This will most likely make it difficult for Netflix to make new original content, and will most likely also affect movie theatres. Because if Disney+ continues their trend of releasing films on the platform rather than in theatres, well, what choice do Disney fans have but to join the service? And in the end, we’ll be left with nothing but films and shows that are so lifeless, or old classics we know from beginning to end. And neither one of these options encourage anything new.

This brings me to my second point, which is the lack of creativity and new ideas. You only have to look as far as the Disney liveaction remakes to see that they don’t care if they give you new, quality entertainment. All they care about is getting your money. And again, I am also at fault here. I liked Cinderella just fine. I loved the new Aladdin. I paid to go see those films. I gave Disney my money and thus, encouraged them to make new liveaction remakes. So, I can’t really criticize much when I’m also the offending party here. But still. Remaking every single classic Disney film? That is just exploiting nostalgia to the point that it’s becoming absurd. And all this does is stop Disney from working on new, interesting films that don’t exist in an already established franchise, or aren’t direct remakes. It’s not like Disney doesn’t have the money to take risks. It just refuses to, because why take risks when you can make easy money? And make no mistake. Aladdin 2019 was easy money. Frozen 2 was easy money. And however nice these products are, it does show in the end result. The stories are recycled, and feel kind of lifeless. The fact that people are comparing The Rise of Skywalker to Avengers Endgame only proves that Disney is not only recycling its’ own ideas, but that it’s stripping the directors and writers involved of their creative freedom. I’ve read stuff about how much JJ Abrams had to change in The Rise of Skywalker to accommodate Disney, and it’s actually pretty scary. What the hell is even the point of trying to tell original stories if Mickey Mouse is just gonna come and tell you to rewrite everything you’ve worked on? Disney is perhaps the most obnoxious and money-hungry company I have ever heard of in my life, and that’s saying a lot when there’s companies like Amazon and Apple around.

My third and final point is the fact that Disney owns, or is on its’ way to owning, everything. Absolutely everything. Star Wars. 20th Century Fox. You name it. Almost everything in the film industry at this point is Disney. And that sucks. It sucks so much. I can’t put it any other way. It terrifies me that Disney is in charge of so much of the content we are given. Because, let’s face it. Disney is not the most risk-taking company (at least not anymore), and certainly not the most diversity-encouraging one. People of color, LGBTQ+ characters, you name it - all of the representation in film and TV will most certainly lessen even more once Disney has its’ claws in everything. Disney only represents minorities when it serves them, and when they know they’ll get money off of it. Like that lesbian kiss at the end of Rise of Skywalker? I didn’t even fucking spot it when I watched the film! That is not representation. Having a token black character (who is completely wasted in the case of Finn in Star Wars) is not enough representation. Disney is a coward, and has been for a long time. All Disney cares about is profit, and that’s it. That’s 100000% it. And I’m not saying that other companies are much better. Of course Netflix wants your money. Of course HBO wants you to hand over your credit card info. But at least the content we receive from those companies varies. Not everything Netflix produces is another Stranger Things. HBO has done things that vary from Game of Thrones. But Disney (in recent years)? Remakes. Sequels. Rebooting a known franchise. It’s all been done before. And I’m scared that, say, ten years from now, every single action film will have the protagonist say a variation of “I am Iron Man” before doing their own variation of snapping their fingers. And, in my very non-expert, very non-educated opinion, that would suck.

By the way, it goes without saying, but all of this is just MY opinion. If you love Disney+, if you love Marvel, that’s amazing. I am so happy for you. This is a really good time for you. I’m nothing but a pretentious dick who is complaining about what is essentially just harmless fun. Just wanted to make that clear.

#i kind of needed to put this into words #the current state of the film industry terrifies me #rip creativity i guess #my ramblings

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betterbemeta · 5 years ago

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Can you explain the problems Zelda has? I’m not familiar with a lot of the series and I struggle to pick up subtext that other people find more obvious - I want to know what to avoid in my own stuff

Well, I don’t want to contribute to the culture of “GASP! WELL KNOWN AND BELOVED SERIES IS PROBLEMATIC! I CANT GET ITS SINS ON ME!” because things are a little bit more complex than that.

The ‘problems’ I find legend of zelda are not ‘problems’ so much as irreconcilable differences in its perspective from mine. They are not really things you can ‘leave out’ so much as basic assumptions of the work of fiction and its outlook on life, the universe , and everything. All you can do is acknowledge these elements exist and write stories contrary to them or deconstructive of the text if you really are arsed to do it.

It should go without saying that it’s pretty damn bad that Nintendo consistently depicts darker skin characters as ‘foreigners’ or otherwise more aggressive, and sometimes more sexual. please don’t give me every single example of a pokemon character that is an exception holy shit i dont wanna have that fight tonight.

But there are three sort of foundations to my perspective on Legend of Zelda. Like a triforce of criticism! No, that’s stupid. But look–

1) Authority and hierarchy are sacred in Legend of Zelda and Everyone Has Their Place by Natural Design. I’m not going to beat around the bush. I’m a lefty. And stories that are about how a monarchy is enfranchised by divine right are just not going to sit well with me. I am not a fan of hierarchies, and the series wants to enjoy Hyrule as a divinely enfranchised monarchy with a right to a specific land but doesn’t really want to mention what that attitude typically entails in real life. I know– it’s a kids’ story. But it’s more than just the Hyrule royal family ruling but not being really responsible for aristocracy stuff… It’s also that Link is typically not allowed to doubt what authorities tell him or ‘trustworthy’ authorities almost always insist things that seem self-evident in nature as if they were designed to always, always be credible. its also the gorons and the zora in their place, naturally ruling over elements they were designed to reflect. It’s also the fact that Ganondorf or other villains are portrayed as a perversion of some cosmic order, and their rise to power terrible because they are a repulsive being ‘sorting’ themselves to the top manually… as if things would be better if everyone just stayed in 'their right places.’ It’s the anti-egalitarian mindset of the power fantasy of being Link, where everyone exists to flatter you as the lion born among lambs and if they cooperate with you it’s only to enable you to access the rest of the game. It’s the community often portrayed as do-nothing and cowards (or even just inferior and UNABLE to understand the true history of their past, or the nature of the blight upon their world!) while Link solves all their problems. It’s a lot of things.

2) It’s a japanese game that heavily parallels japanese nationalist myth in many titles. People underestimate exactly how japanese it is because we think about straight european swords and fantasy castles, and the two main characters have that Anime Pale Skin Ambiguity. But, the triforce’s pieces are named extremely similarly to the three imperial japanese primary virtues, some of the most common multi-game relics in the games (the grass-cutting sword, magic mirrors, mystical gems) parallel the imperial regalia of japan, the zelda/hylia myth has heavy parallels to the mythic divine origin of japanese emperors. An absolutely immense amount of the art and design is intended to feel familiar to japanese players. This isn’t inherently bad but then you get to mix in that nationalism and imperialism are real life problems, and take more notice of the weird attitudes how 'other races’ in LOZ are less holy or more reclusive than Hylians as like, a normal thing… and how until BOTW, the Gerudo were treated as threatening thieves and outsiders to Hyrule, and even in BOTW there remains an undertone of xenophobia, but in that way where the culture is made more aggressive and secretive to keep the majority at a distance rather than it being the function of the dominant culture to exclude a minority. In other games, it is the conclusion of foreign characters that they can never coexist with hylians (Midna, in Twilight Princess) and in Wind Waker, the main characters are told to go forth and colonize at the end of the game. The xenophobia isn’t out of nowhere– it’s a function of the rest of the attitude and design origin of the game and its themes. And nationalists of other countries DO see the themes and understand them, too.

3) The portrayal of women and minorities is consistently bad. Like yes, I know, there are a few figures everybody loves or are widely considered inoffensive. But the series really clings to that most of the villains are either queercoded, neurodivergent coded, not the majority race or resembling the majority race, or otherwise use superficial traits (or sinister behavior towards Link directly) to Other them rather than direct deeds we directly see them commit. I can only name a few on one hand that aren’t like this, and they’re eldritch abominations and Chancellor Cole, who is in a game I don’t like anyway. There are a few adventurous women but their depiction often includes as many features that trivialize them or their peers as it does empowering ones and the rest that are depicted positively are largely passive figures. Even when Nintendo shies away from depicting any minorities it also refuses to make any true villains of the majority faction. There are no real hylian enemies you defeat to the same extent of major villains or monsters, and you’re consistently asked to dismiss humanoid qualities in the enemies you do fight because they’re just 'monsters’– despite that the gorons, zora, rito, all look plenty weird and not human. Magic, too, is used as an indicator of an Other or at least an unfair advantage that Link can’t access unless he can steal it or use it as a tool, or if it’s some kind of sacred power Zelda or her sages holds/bestows. I don’t know how to explain it but making a lot or nearly all of the villains Coded in some way, and then giving them Magic to explain why they are 'out of their place’ or 'able to threaten order’ sort of plays into that trope where a group that ‘would otherwise be inferior’ has some kind of unfair advantage that makes them Threatening. I don’t need to go into like… specifics, because it’s all pretty hot topics and I’m sure people could argue why the gerudo crossdressing thing is good, actually, or why ghirahim and yuga are totally not that japanese 'camp is either threatening or funny’ trope.

These aren’t reasons to like #cancel the legend of zelda. But they are reasons I find to not always trust the text or understand the text can be made to say or depict anything to justify the point of view it takes. I’m not typically satisfied with media that keeps these three elements in place the way they are.

#long post #this reply ate my night and i'd like to die #LOZ #legend of zelda #criticism #i wanna tell stories that deconstruct rather than just perpetuate the thing I love #understand this is not like a demonization or advice to dump LOZ!#does organized anarchism rise in BOTW's wake?#NICE #do you want to write stories where ganondorf has characterization and dignity and breaks free of nintendo's wishes for him?#GO FOR IT #reimagine female characters? DO IT #make hyrule as a nation fall for real? PLEASE #Anonymous

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tesb · 5 years ago

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i've only seen the last jedi, but i do follow thanks to tumblr

okay, so you get the gist!

spoiler alert: i’ll explain what happened in star wars: the rise of skywalker below the cut.

i’ll try and summarize as much as i can and explain a little. there’s many people who condemn the entire film but honestly, i could have swallowed most of it, save for one stupid storyline. but yeah, i’ll get into it. i’ll be skipping a lot of stuff but i apologize if this ends up being pretty long anyway. to be fair, the movie itself is quite long and they were able to fit a lot of dumb things into it.

also: check out jenny nicholson’s youtube video on the movie!

so, in the opening crawls in star wars films, we usually find out what our heroes and main characters have been up to since the last film. they set the scene: nothing major happens in these opening crawls, but major events are left for the films themselves. well, not in this one! in TROS, the opening crawl reveals that emperor palpatine is back, and we’re supposed to just… accept that without any questions. to me, it seems like star wars’ biggest villain coming back would be a bigger event than a couple lines in the opening crawl and deserves more explanation, but i digress.

cut to kylo ren who gets a sith wayfinder, killing a bunch of people in the progress as per usual, and goes to palpatine’s hidey hole on this uncharted planet. palpatine tells him that snoke was his puppet all along and reveals a massive fleet of star destroyers, which is also left unexplained. palpatine orders kylo ren to kill rey (which later leads him to multiple battles with rey throughout the film.)

at the resistance base, they discover that palpatine is on this planet and they need a sith wayfinder to get there. so here starts a goddamn loooooooong mission of them trying to get this wayfinder (they really could have cut this part of the movie down, especially because the whole thing was so convoluted already.) the person who last had the wayfinder conveniently happens to be an assassin who killed rey’s parents and she keeps having visions of them.

at one point on this mission to find the wayfinder, they’re in a very open area on a desert planet and kylo ren and the knights of ren show up in this massive ship. chewbacca gets captured and is in the ship when rey tries to rescue him by using the force, but accidentally blasts the whole thing with lightning. so they all think chewbacca is dead and they leave. but he isn’t dead, because there just so happened to be another massive ship there that they somehow didn’t see, and rey blasted that one instead, and chewbacca was captured in the other. this makes the entire thing feel cheap and their mourning even more hollow.

eventually rey does sense that chewbacca is alive. on their mission to rescue chewbacca, rey confronts kylo ren once again. kylo ren taunts rey about her parents. he eventually reveals that she is the granddaughter of emperor palpatine and that her parents were nobodies because they “chose” to be, and asks her to join him once again. rey being palpatine’s granddaughter makes less sense than her being, say, rey kenobi.

on the same mission, it’s revealed that general hux has been working as a spy for the resistance, and that his only motivation for doing so was preventing kylo ren from winning. winning what, i don’t know. he saves poe, finn and chewbacca and tries to cover up his tracks but dies later anyway. his whole storyline seemed pretty pointless, which is a shame, because he started out as a pretty interesting character in the force awakens. by the rise of skywalker, he was reduced to a caricature of his former self.

we’re introduced to two new characters at two different points in the film, zorii bliss from poe’s past, and jannah, and ex-stormtrooper just like finn, who, as it happens, becomes quite close to finn. i didn’t dislike either of them whatsoever but i strongly feel like these characters were brought in just to reiterate that finn and poe are very much Not Gay (because, let’s face it, the people at disney are cowards.) the LGBT “rep” we do get is a lesbian couple kissing in the background in one of the final scenes in the movie, in a shot that lasts for approx. 0.2 seconds and that has already been cut from the film in some countries.

on a similar note, rose tico was also completely pushed to the sidelines in this film when she had a huge role in the previous one. they don’t even have a proper explanation for it, which sucks, because kelly marie tran was absolutely fantastic in the role. poe’s and finn’s roles were also reduced quite a lot, and i genuinely failed to see any character development from them and there was a great lack of good, character-building emotional moments across the board.

when rey finally gets to the wayfinder (that is on a destroyed death star) kylo ren confronts her for a third time in the same film and he destroys the wayfinder. when kylo ren and rey are fighting, leia organa reaches out to kylo ren through the force while she is dying, and in this moment, rey gets the upper hand and strikes him. but when she senses leia’s death she suddenly feels remorse for him (????? WHY) and immediately saves him by healing him using the force. the tone shift in the scene is jarring.

in rey leaves and kylo ren suddenly sees his dead father – who he killed – and after speaking to han solo, his nonexistent redemption arc begins and he “becomes ben solo again”. i say nonexistent because it literally came out of nowhere. we seldom saw him doubt the dark side and we only saw him turn away from rey when she tried to turn him to the light, time and time again. in the last jedi, their final shot together was rey literally closing a door on him, i.e. symbolizing her finally giving up on trying to turn him to the good side. but since the rise of skywalker tried to undo everything the last jedi did, of course that didn’t matter anymore.

rey uses kylo ren’s ship to go on the same planet luke had resided on in the force awakens and the last jedi because she’s so shook by her parentage (meanwhile i was shook by the awfulness of this plot while sitting in the cinema audience.) luke’s force ghost shows up to tell rey that she needs to face palpatine and so, here begins the worst final “battle” in star wars history, probably.

the resistance fleet follow rey to the planet where palpatine is. rey finds palpatine, and palpatine encourages rey to kill him so that “his spirit can transfer into her.” this whole scene is extremely awkward because palpatine tells rey his entire plan, narrating all the details. it’s very much “you have to do this so i can do this and this” and it feels like the plot needs him to do this so that the audience understands what’s going on, and it’s so painfully bad. suddenly, kylo ren shows up to help rey. and suddenly, palpatine’s plan changes and he uses rey’s and kylo ren’s force bond to “revitalize” himself. and he’s still explaining every bit of the process.

palpatine starts blasting the resistance fleet with his lighting, yeets kylo ren to a hole in the ground (some kind of chasm? i don’t know) and rey collapses. she suddenly hears the voices of a bunch of jedi ghosts in her head, encouraging her, and gets up and manages to kill not only palpatine but herself as well. kylo ren suddenly reappears and brings rey back to life with force healing. in an extremely awkward and forced moment, they embrace each other and kiss, effectively making reylo canon, all for fan service. he does drop dead, but the scene prior to him dying sends an awful precedent for future watchers of the film. i’m all for letting people ship who they want to ship as long as they’re aware it can be extremely problematic and toxic, but it’s a whole different story when a well-known franchise makes said ship canon.

kylo ren has abused rey mentally and assaulted her physically. he is a mass murderer, a war criminal, and literally killed his own goddamn parent. he has done things that are absolutely unforgivable. in the last scene of the film, someone asks rey who she is, and she decides to say “rey skywalker”; there’s a message in TROS that indicates where you come from doesn’t dictate whether you’re “bad” or “good” – see: rey being a palpatine but being a good character. if kylo ren had represented the opposite of rey to the end, i.e. how he came from a good background but still decided to turn to the dark side, the message the film was trying to send wouldn’t have been so undermined.

the last film also makes rey’s entire purpose in the sequel trilogy tied to kylo ren, and it genuinely angers me – they just couldn’t leave her storyline be, could they? her purpose all along was, yes, to kill palpatine, but also to get kylo ren to turn away from the dark side, to help him, to “cure him”. we’re supposed to believe that all along she wanted to “take ben’s hand” and that she was in love with her abuser.

my biggest problem is with this film’s influence and what they decided to do. the fact that they made a romantic scene between the abuser and his abuse victim makes my skin crawl. i could have accepted everything else, but not this. it’s my one big problem with the movie that i cannot, for the life of me, overlook. little kids are going to see this movie. they’re going to see kylo ren murdering, manipulating, abusing people for two and a half movies straight. and they’re going to watch him be redeemed like a second-rate darth vader. but at least darth vader lost everything when he turned to the dark side, reiterating that the dark side is genuinely Very Bad. at least darth vader died without getting a reward like rey was used as kylo ren’s reward for his “redemption arc.” i wish this film hadn’t used rey like it did, but it happened; at moments, she was reduced to a prop in kylo ren’s story instead of her continually being an individual in her own story.

there’s probably a better version of this film somewhere because it feels like a million ideas smashed into one big mess and i sometimes felt like i was watching a fan-film rather than a real star wars movie. the makers of this film being disney, they were trying to please everyone, and that was the biggest mistake they could have possibly made. they didn’t have a solid plan for the sequel trilogy, and it shows. painfully well.

#i truly hate this film #can you tell.#i bet you can't #anonymous #answered #star wars: the rise of skywalker #anti tros #anti reylo #anti kylo ren

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irageneveart · 6 years ago

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there are so many things a 16 years old person should be doing beside throwing hate, BUT HERE YOU ARE BEING A BRAT

@bfmyers I really can't take this anymore, are you really that full of hypocrisy to scream TOXIC left and right while you yourself use your free time to only spread hate? I don’t usually do this and I try to stay away from useless discourse but you're just kicking on my nerves way too much

under the cut cause boy I have a lot to say. (really, it’s long. I needed to point out everything)

I'm going to kindly tell you to fuck off artists' backs.

you have 0 fucking knowledge of what you're talking about yet you're making callouts and worse, people agree! the same people who supported the artists before by reblogging and liking their art are now shitting on them and "ihh no more reblogs from them" only because you write a lengthy shit in which not only that you threaten a human being, you don't even know how to argue. a link to a picture and screaming "toxic" ISN'T A GODDAMN ARGUMENT

people of this community, PLEASE use your fucking brains and don't bow your head to what every nameless kid has to say. you don't have to believe me either, just use your fucking brain and heart and do the decision making yourself

Now, you did a callout post on @dbd-omija pointing out how toxic they are!!! omg gasp animal death? abuse?? HOW IS THAT pOsSIbLe

where have you been until now because this is a horror community:

in the TCM universe inbreeding is mentioned multiple times

in the Halloween movies Michael kills two dogs and eats one of them

omija clearly stated they went with the 1978-2018 timeline BUT NO YOU KEPT SCREAMING BECAUSE HOW DARE THEY SAY SOMETHING AGAINST YOU

on that matter: in the halloween movies Michael's cult makes him rape his niece, in another movie Laurie, before jumping to what it seemed her death, kisses Michael's mask lips. GASP, when will you sue the directors?

after he escaped, Max literally slaughtered every living creature in that farm. put the DBD devs on your "I need to sue them cause I have something to say against this horror game!!!" list

If there’s something I can agree with you on, it’s about tags. Yes, these are triggers, yes tagging is important, but let’s not forget that being in this community IS about being surrounded by triggers. out of courtesy sure, we should tag our stuff accordingly, but to go all out to say “omija, if you’re reading this, i’m going to pee in your mouth.” HOW. IS. THIS. ACCEPTED?! HOW

HOW THE FUCK PEOPLE WHO REBLOGGED THAT CALLOUT THOUGHT YES THIS IS GOOD?!!?!

now you said that Omija's making all of these seem cute and that’s the real problem. this is where you are sooo wrong and let me explain:

a round head doesn't instantly make everything cute. there are many many details that the human eye perceives as cute, things that artists go to when they want their art to be seen as cute. from the color chosen to the way their eyes and mouths are drawn, to the very line work they’re using. yes, shapes count too, but this is not the case and we should get out of our tiny box and see the big picture. Their comics are not meant to be cute, actually much respect to them for being brave enough to approach well known subjects that are not explored. But that’s it. If YOU see it as cute then it’s your problem really. Art and fiction is prone to interpretation

If anything, how much cute stuff we have in the community should be the anomaly, not that someone draws anxious Bubba

omija's Amanda and Bubba art is problematic! someone asks why, you: because is toxic!!!

really? I actually think that, given their individual personalities, omija portraits the ship’s dynamic really well. Amanda is not dealing well with her feelings and with humans and Bubba has problems understanding things in general. they are two deranged people finding a way to cope and to accept another human presence nearby. "Amanda is picking on a disabled person how can you say it's well!!!!" let me remind you that his entire family is picking on his disabilities and the fact that he loves but also FEARS his family is a big theme in Leatherface's story and personality

Also, another argument of yours was about “the power play” and how that’s problematic. I’m...honestly surprised you even thought of this argument because the entire slasher fandom, the movies, everything slasher related IS BASED ON POWER PLAY. Have you read what they wrote for Laurie/Michael to say the ship is based on power play and it’s wrong? No, me neither, cause I don’t care, but you seem to care enough to vomit about it. Go read some things and tell me how problematic the writing is, you need to call out writers too after all

Btw, surprise! I don't ship neither of the mentioned ships, but I can use my brain enough to see what omija does is actually well made and well thought, sick, weird in some instances, but well thought. kudos to you artist. I can also see those who ship Laurie and Michael are still nice people

But just like you and many others I have my own morals (do you now? Exposing yourself like that to NSFW content while so many people are scared for their life because of people like you? hmmmm) and I can’t really stand explicit pedophilia. I’ve read so many books or seen so many movies where it was mentioned, it’s a trigger factor, it’s taboo, therefore is normal to be used in darker works. It all depends on the circumstances and the way it is presented, cause it’s a piece of fiction. Nobody attacked George R. R. Martin for the controversial things he had written in his books right? I wonder why

Because, another surprise, fiction is different than reality and only this argument alone should be enough, but some monkey brains out there will come to scream at me how fiction affects reality. Someone who writes a murder mystery isn’t actually killing people when they put pen to paper. People who play shooter games do not wish to shoot people in real life. Someone who writes about rape will not welcome the rapist in their arms nor do they wish to rape someone. So on, it’s simple, again, we just need to use our brains.

If you have bullying-related or a family related or any thing related trauma and you see a Michael/Laurie fic or Quentin/Freddy or whatever other ships or subjects you have seen around, and decide to click on it, and then you have a negative reaction, that fiction is not harming you. Your unresolved trauma is harming you. Your decision to read something when you know it triggers you is harming you. The past actions of yourself and those who inflicted harm upon you are harming you. All of those things – your trauma, your real-life bullies, your actions – are real, and have the ability to harm you. (the italic bits are from @dracfics who said it better than I ever could put in words. Thank you)

next on your "who am I going to shit on today" is @renlvbon

not gonna lie, for the omija callout I read everything searching to see whenever you are right or not. I don’t personally know either of the artists but I could read enough to see you’re just a self entitled person with something to say regarding everything. for ren's callout I simply skipped after I saw your argument.

you're not doing gods' work by opening people's' eyes that they can or should portray the characters the way they are, disabled and gross. no, you're just picking on someone's art style

Can we stop this toxic nonsense???

don't get me wrong, I agree that we shouldn't make them supermodels and we shouldn't erase what they are, fucking ugly and gross killers, but saying people who don't draw them a certain way are cowards or calling them out or whatever else shit is TOXIC and ANNOYING. We all change them more or less, we have to because none of us are the original creators! We’re just thirsty people making them to be what we want and what we imagine because they’re fucking fiction

I’ve seen people agreeing with you saying the artist should consider real people with disabilities or on the heavier side (“like me” they pointed out). I’m so sorry if this comes out as rude but if you search or need validation in a horror community that’s not a good thing at all! Body positivity and a healthy approach to disabilities should. not. be. searched. in. a. horror. community or any community on tumblr for that matter. You want some positivity on that? In a real case scenario with them we all would die, no matter how you look like

Going back to the artists, some people don't have experience/ are insecure/ are uncomfortable drawing body hair or fat bodies or whatever. That doesn’t make them fatphobic or whatever shit I saw you writing in your tags.

Drawing a black character less than the color YOU think is good? Have you ever tried to color skin? There are so many ways to do it, there are so so many colors you combine and you play around with + lighting and shading that alters everything. and yeah maybe some people pick a different color, a lighter one, or a more yellow one than they should for asiatic people, or whatever. but these tones are NOT easy to get well (you can always put a brown color down and to call it a day, but maybe people won’t want that. They don’t want to be disrespectful, exactly cause there are predators like you that don’t know how to help, only how to fucking scream). Or maybe they simply don’t know how. Every artist has their own range of comfort zone, be it about subject - composition - colors - etc. I don’t do well with neon colors for example, it happens. Hell even the screen you’re using alters the colors

How about giving actual tips, support and explanations instead of rude call outs? And don’t come at me with the “color picker” shit cause color picker from a real life photo is hell and if you don’t know some color theory your art is going to look dull and lifeless regardless

The only time I can agree that whitewashing is wrong is when white-supremacy, nazi and other ugly shits like these are coming into the topic. But it’s not the case here

some young artists don't have the skill to draw certain body shapes, or body hair, or even a non-anime face. some others think putting a scar on the character’s face make them 'uglier' and ‘scarier’ and for them that's enough AND THAT'S ALRIGHT

drawing something that's supposed to be ugly but still having anatomy and proportions and a functionable mouth or eyes placement or whatever ISN'T EASY. ofc, you can go all out if that's what you want, but personally I want things to still be working because at the end of the day every single one of them is human. I'm not drawing dark fantasy in this fandom, I'm drawing slashers

NO ONE IS DRAWING FOR YOU. NO ONE IS USING THEIR SKILL TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. art and writing, especially when is made in the free time of the creator, is made FOR THEMSELVES. If there are people enjoying it? Yay, that’s a win, but no one expects everybody on this planet to like what they’re doing. We’re getting back to that golden rule, DON’T LIKE: MOVE THE FUCK ON/ BLOCK AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. EASY. no one uses these unnecessary callouts for anything, if you have something to say do so kindly, if you can’t, just vent to your friends

So now let’s wrap it up cause IDK how many of you even make it through this point

can we fucking stop making young artists and writers cowards for drawing or writing how they can and however they fucking want? Please and thank you

this shit going on with "the best artist/writer for x y z character" or "conventionally drawing ugly Bubba uwu" will just destroy the confidence of whoever wants to keep drawing or writing or joining the fandom. There’s no competition who draws Bubba the ugliest nor who writes Michael the best. if you can do things a certain way, do it, and let the rest draw and write whatever they can WITHOUT FEARING THEY'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

now I'm waiting for your very "well" argumented reply but I hope you'll understand that what you're doing is TOXIC and you should stop or at least change your way to address things. You’re talking to other human beings, not a void when you can throw any random thought you have in the morning. I don't care about you to be honest, but there are so many people out there following your words mindlessly and the creators are suffering and it's not fair.

don't forget to tell me to go kill myself. have a nice day

#ira talks #bfmyers callout #vent and triggers #this shit needs to stop #long post #my opinion #i won't put this in the main tags cause that's really useless #so I don't really know how to tag lol

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goddamnmuses-a · 5 years ago

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Dan Watches: Star Wars: Episode I -The Phantom Menace

So.. I got the idea of writing my thoughts up as I go basically as they get to the Gungan city so.. i’ll try and remember my thoughts before that and then I’ll do it kinda live. Under the cut cus long.

Alright.. So the opening crawl was very.. politics which to be honest as i’ve got older I actually kind of enjoy that side of Star Wars but it doesn’t really add anyhting to the actual film because I think everything thats in it could be picked up by just watching the film.

I kinda like the battle droids.. weird soft spot for them. I like the big ship ones too and Droidekas i thought were the coolest shit ever when i was a kid and i stand by that.

I’m not all that bothered by the racial stereotypes because like.. i’m not the races they’re sterotyping but i can see why it’d be problematic.

Jar Jar isn’t as annoying as everyone makes him out to be.. don’t get me wrong.. he’s annoying.. but he’s not cancer.

Aesthetically the Gungan City is pretty cool, giant underwater bubble city.. i bet there’s cool fan art of it somewhere.

Alright now we’re live.. The duck things the Gungans ride are weird.

Do Gungans like JarJar eventually become the giant Green guy? .. I googled apparently they’re just two different races of Gungan despite looking like totally different Aliens.

It’s nice that all races are like “Life debt? Oh yeah thats a legit thing.”

Gungans speak like English or Common or.. i forget the Star Wars term.. Basic? is their second language.. but it isnt.

Yooo Qui Gon just made JarJar go to sleep using the force.. Why is Force Sleep not a thing in more stuff... gotta keep an eye out for that now.

Naboo is pretty.

Padme is so extra, she’s in her iconic red dress that’s already extra as fuck and then sees that she’s been captured and is like “Alright.. but first.. wardrobe change!” and then shows up in some black number. I’m not sure if at this point she’s actually Padme or if Padme is pretending to be one of her servants now but either way she had a costume change and nobody questions it so she must be having costume changes all the time.

When Qui Gon force pushes two battle droids theres a really weird sound effect that sounds like it belongs in a mario game.

Pretty sure Padme is the handmaid now and this new Queen should take the opportunity to be like “Yoo peace out bitches.” Then we get Keira Knightley’s adventures in Star Wars.

Also who was she before this swaparoo? Was she a handmaid and just suddenly got promoted to queen? Like she could be saying all sorts of shit. I know she gets revealed later on but think of how much she could do whilst Padme is away.

The first words ever spoken to R2 in Star Wars, chronologically, (although inderectly) are “Hello Boyos”. Just sit with that.

The first words spoken to him directly are “How rude.” which seems about right tbf with how sassy he is.

Darth Maul is awesome.

Keira Knightly or Sabe (I looked it up) is like “Yo actual queen, clean that droid!” i think she just wanted to feel more powerful than the actual queen there, little power trip.

Nice Poncho Qui Gon. Cal approves.

I wonder how long Padme took to convince the others to let her go off alone with Qui Gon and Jar Jar and R2 (Dunno why R2 joins them?) on a planet thats ruled by the Hutts

I kinda like Watto.. not as a person.. he just amuses me.

Kinda cool that Anakin can speak Huttese, wish he spoke it more often.. just cursing in Huttese as Obi Wan tries to teach him stuff.

“Are you an Angel.” Smooooth kid. Smoooth, you’re gonna get with her. Despite her being way older than you. They couldn’t have just made him the same age as her?

Toydarians should be used for more things, especially involving force users.

Anakin. The slave. Is like “Here Qui Gon, you’ll like this food.” and he’s just like “Cheers” and pockets it for later. Dude. Try it.

I really hope they do go into more High Republic stuff next, give me a Destiny-type game where you play as a Jedi with your mates.

Quigons like “You must have Jedi reflexes to race pods” Then he catches Jar Jars tongue in a blink of an eye and Anakins like “You’re a Jedi Knight aren’t you?” And Qui-Gon is like “What makes you think that?” ...? .. You just fucking.. God damn it Qui-Gon.

Anakin: “No one can kill a Jedi”. Palpatine: “Hold my Blue milk.”

I feel like im becoming fluent in Gungan broken basic which is worrying.

Anakins mom whos name i’ve literally just forgot is like “He was meant to help you.” ... bitch.. what? Why does nobody question that?

WHY DOES JAR JARS MOUTH MOVE WITH OTHER PEOPLES LINES!? ... Darth Jar Jar. #PlagueisTheWiseWasAGungan. I mean not rly but seriously.. that would have been a really cool plot twist.

Jar Jar got numbed and got his hand stuck.. so like.. perhaps not.. otherwise you’re playing a little too dumb mate.

The look of worry from Shmi, good stuff.

The two Headed announcer speaking basic and Huttese is pretty smart like, the one doing one and the other doing the other.

What the fuck is Clegg Holdfast?

What the fuck are any of these races? Like.. where are these races throughout the rest of the franchise?

Crazy that lightly bending that one part of the podracer can fuck it up so bad.

Who the fuck is that other Hutt? Oh yeah I’m watching the like updated version with Geroge Lucas’ “Fixes” in it. Probably should have said that earlier.

I cant remember if this is true but I’m pretty sure Qui-Gon knows Padme is the Queen and is just fucking with her at this point.

Man Pod Racing is cool, fuck whoever says it isnt.

Gimmie an updated Pod Racing ps4 game.

What the fuck is that long thin alien thats selling food to the crowd? Gimmie a Jedi version of him.

Havent commented in a while because i just kept watching it tbh.

Coruscant looks cool. Still want more High Republic stuff.

What the fuck is that driver alien, he looks in pain to exist.

“There is no civility, there is only politics” The Chancellor code.

Is it too late to call a vote of no confidence on Palpatine?

I see you there in the background Yaddle. Get it girl.

Fuck me the added extra of this long neck ass Jedi Master is so distracting.

Where Jaro Tapal at tho?

You’d think after Padme’s like “Surprise bitch it’s me” moment coming up the Jedi would be like “Well shit.. maybe we’re less aware of things than we think... Yoda.. are you just a short human painted green?”

Amedala... So extra with these outfits. I get that she’s a Queen but Jesus.

Eyyyyyyyyyyyy it’s ET.

Qui-Gon is such a bad boy.

I kinda get why Jedi take kids when they’re really young, so they can’t remember their parents so they aren’t constantly worried about their parents and then fall to the dark side... doesn’t make it any nicer though.

My vote went to Bail Antilles.

To be fair not training Anakin could have been very bad. He could have like gone even more Darkside and Palpatine could swooped in and trained him himself completely.

Maul is barely in this but fuck is he still cool.

You know what I don’t hate Midichlorians. They’re just like atoms that stick to certain people and thats what gives them access to the force, it doens’t really change anything it’s just a scientific explination.

You know what.. During the middle of the film, Jar Jar keeps his mouth shut and just lets people get on with it, that’s alright.

How old is Obiwan supposed to be in this film?

A little more variation in these creepy ass gungans would be nice.

Damn the Viceroy and the other guy are huge or Maul is smol.

Love that Gungan dindgeridoo horn thing.

I also love the giant bubble shields.

Are they watching a Star Wars battle tactics pc game on that screen?

Fuck The Darth Maul fight is badass.

I don’t buy Anakin at all, he wants to fly out there and get involved, the little shit.

Quigon doesnt even flip when he jumps, he’s just like “I’m too old for this shit.”

Yeah R2 is like “Go back” and Anakins like “Naaa fuck that”... Tut tut. Boys gonna be trouble.

The way Maul stalks back and forth the other side of that barrier like a Sith Tiger.. Good shit.

Aaaaand Quigon is dead. RIP.

“Now This is Pod Racing.”.. It’s not though is it?

Nice to have something blow up and actually have debris instead of just all being gone completely.

Anddd there goes Maul to go get robot spider legs and then be found by his bro Savage.

Why do you wanna bring balance to the force anyway if it’s currently so one sided favouring the light side? Surely bringing balance is a bad thing at that point.

Yoda’s already soooo old.

Alright so they know there’s a Sith out there and the guy is still just like right next to them and they don’t know. Tut.

That Jedi behind Mace Windu at the end looks intimidating as shit.

Padme, he’s a kid, calm yourself down woman. You predator.

Alright.. Film done. 10/10 Best movie ever. Naa tbh I enjoy the prequels more than most, obviously if you’ve stuck with me this long you know that but it clearly has its flaws.. still.. I enjoyed it! Feel free to ask me my opinions on specific things if you want. Also shamelessly gonna plug my two star wars muses Cal and Savage here, rp with me you cowards. Also I’m down to star wars verse any of my other characters, literally any of them, i have ideas for all.

#ooc #dan watches #dan reacts

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nyxabird · 6 years ago

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The problem with Zeroken’s design

I feel like rambling today, so. Let’s talk about Disgaea 5. Or more importantly, let’s talk about one of Disgaea 5′s characters, Zeroken. Now, I love Zeroken. Anyone who’s seen me stream know I love Zeroken. I go to massive efforts to make him a strong little boy and despite his flaws, I think he tends to be an adorable and charming character. But there is one major, meta flaw in Zeroken and that’s in his design.

Now, I want to say, I like Zeroken’s design. I think he’s cute! And I think his appearance fits well with his personality. The problem is that his design is flawed; it commits a sin of media called “informed attribute”.

For those who don’t know, an informed attribute is something about a character that is told to us through outside sources and that isn’t actually in the actual series the character is in. For instance, a lot of anime will say that a female character is a tough fighter, but every time you see her, she doesn’t actually have any strength and she’s constantly in trouble. It, essentially, is just saying “oh yeah this character is actually this” even though there’s no evidence of it. A lot of the time, informed attributes feel like they’re tacked on for the developers to get brownie points, but that’s not related to this subject, so I won’t discuss it.

So let’s get back to Zeroken. What’s his informed attribute, you may ask? It’s his race. So first, here is a picture of the kid.

I want you to look at that and think about it. What race do you think he is? For me, I always thought he was just a humanoid demon like about 50% of the classes in Disgaea 5. Like the Warrior or Gunner or Sage or Lady Samurai or any of those. And that seems right, right?

Nope.

He’s a werewolf.

Did any of you who heard of him actually guess that? Did you have any idea he was a werewolf, or intended to be one? I bet most of you didn’t, because of the people I knew (one who’s played D5 since it came out) had no idea either. So how do we know he’s a werewolf?

Because his intro trailer said so. Something I’d never even heard of, and neither had they, until they went browsing in the wiki one day.

The only “hints” to this in-game are his Overload (Superluminal Wolf) and the fact that some of his moves (in Japanese, at least) have voice clips of him howling. And that’s not even remotely an actual hint, because that could just as easily be his theme. Non-werewolf/-wolf characters have used wolf references or howling, so it’s not even remotely a hint to the fact he’s meant to be a werewolf.

Even his design doesn’t hint towards it at all. There is nothing distinct about his design that hints he’s anything but a humanoid demon. There is nothing in the game that is actual proof/a hint that he’s like that, except some throw-away lines (such as Seraphina calling him a dog) that aren’t evidence on their own, because it’s just as often used against non-wolf-related people too.

I really think this was just a huge error in his design that NISA did, a mistake that was made that no one actually bothered to think about being a mistake when they really know how to do better.

Why do I know they know how to do better? Because they’ve done it before.

This is Fenrich, from Disgaea 4, who is in fact a werewolf. Could you tell? I bet so, because the tail gives it away really fast. Even if you wouldn’t immediately label it as a “wolf”, you still can see, at a glance, that he’s not Yet Another Humanoid Demon. More than that, some of his skills make it even clearer that he’s a werewolf; he has skills that have him running on all fours, for instance. Even if the game didn’t tell you what Fenrich is, you could guess from the evidence in the game.

And Zeroken doesn’t have that. And why? There’s no reason for that. There is no reason that Zeroken doesn’t have anything that really hints towards his nature. It was as simple as giving him a tail, really, because the game had already established that race as looking like that. And you can argue game canons/timelines/AUs as much as you want, but races/classes in general stay the same/use the same depiction; some do change, such as the Armor Knight changing genders, but overall it’s fairly consistent.

I have no idea why they failed on the most basic part of Zeroken’s design. There’s some theories that his hair is meant to resemble a tail, but I honestly think that design in general is a bad design and just a way people get themselves out of having to depict stuff with tails. It’s a cowardly design decision to me, especially because it’ll never be able to tell you what they are at a glance, failing that aspect of their design. (I also think it looks incredibly crappy and stupid, but that’s a personal feeling of mine)

In general, whenever I or my friends write or do anything with Zeroken, we’ll add in his tail, and just hand-wave it as having been cut off during the Lost invasion and regrown somehow after the war. Because quite frankly, NISA (or whoever designed him) failed. They just failed, flat out, on making his design clear that he isn’t just yet another human-looking demon and is actually one of the beast folk. The rest of the design is good, as I’ve said before, and I really like it... but no matter how much I like it, it is a failure in informing us what he is.

Magnus and Usalia are easy to tell what they are from the start. Seraphina is a bit harder, but you could reasonably figure out what she is from the evidence. Christo’s whole arc is about trying to hide what he actually is. Killia’s design is also problematic in this way, but he actually has hints to him being a beast folk (the claw-hands that are clearly not gloves, the scales on his chest), so even if we don’t know what he is, we know he’s something different, not just a humanoid demon, though there’s no hints as to what he is in-game. (Dragonewt, by the way. Killia’s a dragonewt) Killia is more complicated, though, so I won’t get into that unless someone actually wants me to discuss my feelings on that one.

Zeroken has nothing. Every “hint” could just be as easily as applied to a normal humanoid with a wolf theme. And it’s incredibly disappointing

I guess my point is “NISA, you were fucking cowards by not giving him some aspect that made it clear what he was.” And it doesn’t even have to be a tail. When I (and I’m sure other people) talk about this, we’re not just inherently wanting what people usually call the “clean and cute” sort of things (though why they call it that/what’s wrong with ears/tail as a distinction, I don’t know). We just want something to be clear. Ears, tails, claws, even fur in distinct places. Something, anything, that shows you that there’s something else here besides another “human”.

You can’t just say “oh btw this person is this” when it comes to major aspects like their race. You have to show us. You have to give us evidence. “Informed attribute” is okay when it isn’t a part of the series they’re in (such as telling us a horror protagonist is gay) or wouldn’t have come up canonly, but things like their goddamn race? Or like trying to talk about sexualities in a romance game? Just... no.

If you’re going to design something, put effort into the design and actually show us. “Show, don’t tell” is the rule of visual media, and unfortunately for poor Zeroken, NISA failed him hard on that front. I have really strong feelings about this sort of thing, this thing of making beast characters have no actual traits whatsoever so they look totally human, and it really needs to stop.

#disgaea 5 #zeroken #designs #character designs #informed attribute #musing #dialog #would I call this a rant or a discussion?#I don't feel like I was ranty but it wasn't much of a discussion either

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priboltao · 7 years ago

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here’s some more triggery fucked up shit [all triggers apply]

i’ll just spare your 173 dashes

i cut real bad today and i felt fucking proud i managed to do that

like “fuck yeah i really gave myself what i deserve! cut this bitch!”

im not even joking, that was what i was thinking

also i tried being happy with brendon coming out

i should, right

but the internet made me a suspicious bitch so i just got like “is he really tho”

also over the past hour this fucking hell hole of a site reminded me of every single bad thing he ever did and can i be honest? I don’t wanna know

i dont want to know

I just wanna keep looking up to him cause his music helped me so much during this very dark moment im going through and believing in him being a good person (although slightly misguided at times) makes this so much easier

(like when he donated a fucking million dollars to charity and i couldn’t even be happy about it cause you fuckers made me second guess that too)

but my point is, i wanna be happy for him and be like those people like “omg he’s such a legend” and then i go to all-loving-ryan tumblr and all i see is the bad shit he did and my point is i don’t wanna know. I literally wanna overlook everything and pretend everything is fine. Let me say that again

i wanna pretend everything is fine

cause it just makes my life so much easier, it’s so much better when i want to die just because i’ll never go to a panic! concert instead of wanting to die because the one person i admired and looked up to ends up being a fucking idiot who harrasses people and jokes about stuff that should never be joked about

i just wanna love something and not be fucked by it

even though this is also becoming a problem because looking at photos of a happy couple also makes me wanna kill myself because i’ll never ever find love in life and it kills me even tho i say it doesn’t

love really is the most important because even if you’re super broke, when you really really love someone that seems to be less important cause at least you have love

but if i’ll never find love i wish i could at least be filthy rich, but hey, i can’t - i’ll be broke forever cause that’s how capitalism works

(we have a song in brazil about it that goes like “the rich gets richer, the poor gets poorer; and everyone knows the reason why: those who are up go up, and those who are down go down”)

So, the two most important things in life are: love (like real fucking undying love) and money (a real obscene amount of money) and I have none of those and never will

also the only two times someone said they loved me romantically i didn’t love them back, and one of them assaulted me

also there’s the sex thing - don’t ask. there’s abuse involved.

also i’m super broke even tho i work full time in a job i hate cause i have no prospects of supporting myself in any other way- well, my mom. It’s just to support my mom, if i didn’t have to do that, i would have killed myself long ago and even she knows that

(not that she cares, she’s too busy being depressed as well and expecting me to be supportive when she never was supportive of my mental ilnesses. In fact, to this day, when she sees new cuts she calls me stupid and says she should hit me. I’m thirty, mind you.)

also my dream of becoming a writer tanked so many years ago and people go like “why don’t you write anymore” and i’m like bitch i would if i got paid but money is the only thing that matters to even get published in this shitty country and i dont have it

maybe im just not talented enough

to overcome what everyone knows is a business where you have to have connections

and if we’re being honest being a writer is a plan B cause its the only thing i do sort of well (not well enough to succeed apparently) cause what i really wanted was to be a singer or a performer or to be in broadway but the thing is i suck and i missed my window to try and succeed by looks, and i sing like a dead hyena and move like said hyena was hit by a truck and act like, well, nothing, i took six months of teather in college and chickened out because of the pressure so broadway would eat me alive (but at least i would die in NY instead of stinky brazil)

So, big summary

im cutting like hell cause i deserve it

i wish brendon was a better person but if he’s not i’ll just ignore his shitty behaviour like the coward i am and just c h o o s e to believe him

of the two people that make me feel amazing things with their music, one is problematic as fuck and one killed himself (and i won’t go into it, but it fucks me up to think it’s being a year and only now i’m getting the realization he did that and he’s not coming back. LIKE, JUST NOW)

i’ll never find love or happiness cause i’m just shit and don’t deserve anything

i’ll never have enough money to just try and fill this hole i have where my soul should be, i barely get by to pay my bills

i can do only one thing sort of well but not well enough to succeed

i suck real bad at everything else i would love to do

i’m ugly as fuck

i wish i could end my life like yesterday but i can’t cause it would crush my mom’s feelings and i cannot do that even though i’m sure she would thrive without my toxic influence

so i’m just dragging my ass through life, living paycheck to paycheck and pretending everything is fine cause if i don’t, i’ll cave in and breakdown and i don’t even have the right to do that

and i’m like, beyond any help at this point, like there’s literally nothing i can do to change how i feel and i’ll just have to suck it up and hold it together till the day i can die which can be like 50 years from now

it will be pretty pathetic when i get to kill myself really cause it will be like “ok, but you could have waited you’re really old already ur gonna die anyway”

but it will be a fucking while

long story short

this has been a post.

#personal #suicide plan journal #tw #suicide #depression #self harm #self injury #self hate #mental disorders #im writing to make the voices stop #but they dont #borderline personality disorder

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daddyfuckinlonglegs · 5 years ago

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Just gonna straight up do mine without being asked because character building, right? CN for drugs, but it is a list of problematic behaviors so...

Nate is finicky and vain, spends an awful lot of time on his appearance and is an irritable asshole if you rush him. He feels quietly superior to a lot of people around him, and can be aloof and cold when he feels he's talking to someone below him *about something important*. Generally he's warm and open and funny, but if you're trying to talk to him about the finer details of a subject, you'd better know your shit.

He's argumentative for the sake of it sometimes, partly because he's an overthinker and struggles to make up his mind. And despite his efforts to not turn out like his parents, his mother's temper has greatly influenced him at his worst moments - When he emerges from the vault, and everything is so hopeless, he closes off from just about everything, and is prickly, brittle and aggressive, keeping everyone at arms length and reacting violently when faced with adversity.

His humour can be dry and sarcastic, often at other people's expense, and he doesn't hold that people should take that stuff seriously.

He's dishonest, often, and he's good at lying and manipulation; very charismatic, charming, funny, knows just what to say to cut to the core of someone and get them where he needs them to be. A great voice at your back in an argument, but terrible to stand against, and more than once, he's used it to get into bed with someone or spin a situation to his favour where it's hurt the other person.

He procrastinates important decisions; we're talking whether to get involved with the minute men or brotherhood, the institute etc. He attempts to stay neutral and not draw ire from anyone personally, which could, and has, lead to unnecessary bloodshed in the commonwealth. Guilty though he feels about it, it's not something he knows how to change.

For all the horrors of the wasteland, and the nickname of hero of the commonwealth, he's a coward. He'll always attempt to achieve a peaceful resolution, and will fight when he's pushed to, but would rather avoid the confrontation physically. That changes, as he grows into the new world, but especially at first, he'd rather slink away and never think about it again than make a big moral choice or dive into a gunfight to rescue someone. He's not looking for glory.

He can be self destructive, he's a party boy at heart, likes to drink, and smoke, and fuck, and has a history of substance abuse. He's struggled with it more than once in his life, with alcohol in college (though who knew, because he's the life of the party), after his return from the Navy and the death of his parents, and when he eventually was pushed to decide the fate of the commonwealth and destroyed the Institute. Opiates, and Psycho, have been the big ones, increasingly necessary in his post-war life and all the more destructive for it.

He lets others do a lot of emotional work for him, leaning on them for support and sometimes knowingly taking advantage, though again, over time, he learns to be more careful about this.

He's got a nice face though, and he's pretty good in bed.

Your fave is problematic: OC edition

Ask me about one of my OCs and I’ll list out why they’re problematic.

#Nathan Christopher Stahl

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zoisgodlikeaccd-blog · 7 years ago

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Final Paper

Fight Club------- The Aesthetic of being Alive

Fight club is a movie you could say full of many nosenses and aesthetics at the same time, it seems chaotic but also makes a lot senses than you thought it would be. The main character is an average nobody who is a salesman, lives in a single apartment and often shop furnitures from IKEA. He is just like us, or most of us I shall say, we are nobody compare to the rest of the world, that is the reason most of the audiences includes me feel relevant or connected to the main character. We as nobody in this world, when we have so much going on in our lives or we just simply have so many burdens on top of our shoulders, we cannot handle it. Then we start to feel lost and confused. We start to wonder the point or the meaning of being alive. Some of us hide from our problems, some decide to ignore the problems, some decide to face the problems. Yet, in Fight club, the main character demonstrates how to hide and face the problem in an extreme way. I want to talk about how I understand this movie and how I personally feel relevant to this movie.

There are three main factors in this movie: stress, violence and reborn. These three words can also be understand as: meet a problem, process a problem and solve a problem. All the conflicts and problems started or build from stress. The main character experiences overwhelmed stress and mundane which causes him have insomnia, he cannot get enough sleep. The main character understands that he needs some kind of help, he needs to seek for a solution, just himself does not sure what exactly is the solution, so he decides to join a support group, where people talk about their own issues to strangers and hug each other to find comforts. This is just like how us or most of people would do when we first realize that we have some kind of problem we need face, we find a solution that seems effective but actually this is when we start to step into our comfort zone. Instead of finding an efficient solution, we find a comfort zone and mistake it as our solution. For example, you all know that you should work hard, in order to keep a family going or to live a life we want to live in, yet, just cannot gather enough courage to actually work hard. Instead, you find a relatively easy going job, then you come to work on time, get off work on time and you do whatever you are told to do. Then you tell yourself that: “ Hey, I work hard, everything is going to be fine.” So you stay in this comfort zone, until one day you realize you have trapped yourself in a comfort cage. Just like the main character, he knows he can only find very little comforts from the support group, but he keeps going to the meetings, because he is afraid to change. The stress keeps building, getting bigger and heavier day by day, until a day he cannot bear it alone any longer. He created his second personality, Tyler, which the main character is not even aware of. Later on, he created the fight club, a club people hit each other and release their inner anger and stress from their mundane sorry life, instead of just hugging each other. Some people comment that the scenes of the fighting are too bloody and violent, which I found it is the most interesting part of the movie. You see people who probably rarely exercise try their best to take down the opponent, how they sweat, how they bleed is exactly an expression on how people in reality struggle and fight for their own problems. We fight, we bleed, it may not be the best way, but it is the right way.

However, if we do not manage to keep our stuff together, it will lead to destruction, like the ending in fight club, the club becomes a terror organization, instead of solving their own life issues, they blame the world, they take out their anger on others. This is where the movie start to tell us something. Do not blame others over your own mistakes, your own problems. Being saved or being destroyed only have a thickness of a paper difference. At the end of the movie, the main character which is Tyler realizes his own problem. The entire time he was being a coward, he hide himself behind his second personality, hope the other personality could solve and face all the issue for him. He created Tyler, he created fight club, but he couldn't create a new him to enjoy life again. Good thing is, he finally understand the real basic issue: he wasn’t dare to change himself. So he kills the second personality. At that moment, he was reborned by realized his own mistake. This movie tries to make a point that, there are many people like the narrator, they are stuck, they are lost, and don’t have the courage to do anything about it. It’s true that we struggle in our life, we fight ourselves, we fight the world, but fighting is not gonna solve any root issues, it is only gonna blind you from who you are. You can try to find your comfort zone and stay in there forever and feel good about it, or you can step out it and find your own way to solve issues. Your way might not work out, it might be stupid, but you will never find out about it, if you never try. The movie uses an aggressive and bizarre way to tell its audiences that, time to do something about your problematic life, man up and just do it. It’s never too late, and you got nothing lose.

I feel connected to this movie, because I once was lost and confused in my life too, because of my sexsual orientation, and where I am from, it is not allowed. I was young, I could not find any way to solve this cannot-be-changed truth or erase that part of me, my heart hurt and I did not know what to do about it, so I started to cut myself. Because compare to an invisible pain that comes from my heart, a visible cut and pain is so much easier to understand, and that was my comfort zone, a zone that I was in could not last long. So when I was watching the fight club member fighting, I feel like what happened to me was just yesterday. Like in fight club, at the very end, the narrator realized his mistake, I realized my mistake as well. So, I decided to stop hurting myself, and move on to a better solution. Instead of being lost, I want to use my own way to convince whoever is stopping me being who I truly am.

Fight club is not just about violence and mental illness, it is more about how to solve your own problem, face your own problem, and give yourself another chance in life. That is the point of being alive, we encounter issues, we solve it, we be who we are. It is no one else’s business. Dare to face our own issues, dare to be who we truly are, it is the point of be alive, and it is the aesthetic of being alive.

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