#all that acting cute and pitiful jesus christ what are you a child

[windowsillbells]

tbh i’ve never seen a show try so hard to make a romcom female main character compelling and failing so miserably like gydl lol tianying is at the center of a very weird and fun love triangle with 2 very hot men, she’s the victim of a psychosexual semi incestuous obsession, she’s an opera singer who’s destined to lead the whole troupe when her father retires and she’s enraptured the whole city with her voice and skills, she wants to become an actress, she’s also the lost lin sister or something like that, that would be enough for like 5 seasons of 25 episodes each at the very least and yet. she’s so fucking boring. she literally stands there 99% of the time doing nothing while all the other characters act her story. she literally does nothing at all and all the plot just. happens around her. never seen a better example of “show don’t tell” because literally everyone is TELLING me she’s such an interesting person but NO ONE EVER SHOWS ME

[veilder]

"I thought you left" "Nope, just making pancakes" - Convin

Okay, so, I love this prompt and I promised I'd try to write it so... I actually did this last week at like 2 am and have been too busy to edit it until now. But I'm kinda sick of trying to puzzle it out so just take it please, omg.

(Prompt from this post if anyone's curious.)

Stay

The sun was already high in the sky when Gavin finally blinked awake. He could tell because there was one fuckin sliver of window he could never manage to cover with the blackout curtains hanging up in his bedroom and the goddamn sun was shining right in his fuckin eyes, Jesus Christ! With a groan, he rolled over, squeezing his eyes shut in a futile attempt to go back to sleep. But even that small burst of cognizance had its consequences. Gavin could feel the awareness creeping in fast, God fuckin dammit. Was a little shut-eye too much to ask for? But there was something... Something niggling at the back of his mind. It itched at instincts well-honed by over a decade on the force and not even his most earnest desire to return to oblivion could keep it at bay. Restlessly, Gavin huffed out a disgruntled sigh as he kicked at the covers, frustrated despite himself at being roused after the night he’d had— Like a shock passing through his body, Gavin’s eyes snapped open, memories of the previous evening flashing through is mind. But just as readily, a heaviness settling deep in his heart as he took in the other side of the bed. The sheets were mussed and the pillow indented, a clear sign of its former occupant. Evidence as plain as day told Gavin that last night hadn’t been some delusion or dream. And yet… He reached out a hand, an involuntary, desperate motion, tracing the outline where his partner had lain. Where Connor had lain. But just as he’d feared, the sheets were cold. They matched the ice filling his heart. Slowly shuffling upright, Gavin leaned back against the headboard as memories of the previous day filled his waking mind. Flashes of the case he and Connor had worked together rushed by in a flurry. The tip-off for the perp they’d been tracking for weeks and the reckless chase that followed. The abandoned warehouse. The shootout. Vivid Thirium across dirty concrete. Connor had taken a bullet for him. Gavin remembered staring up into those brown eyes, watching as a splatter of blue burst from his chest. "I'm fine," Connor had said, "the bullet didn't nick anything important." And even though the android had gotten right back up and proceeded to almost single-handedly take down the rest of the hostiles attacking them, it was still a moment Gavin knew would haunt him for a long-ass time. Shit was enough to give him nightmares. It did give him nightmares, in fact. Which is how the two of them had ended up back here. In Gavin's apartment. Together. Because after that little fiasco, after the gang had been arrested and the hostages recovered and both he and Connor had been checked over by a medic and technician respectively, it still left the job far from complete. Needless to say, Gavin had eventually nodded off at his desk after a long night of interrogation and paperwork, the rushes of adrenaline and fear more than even his beloved coffee could contend with. He only meant to rest his eyes for a moment. Just a moment and then he'd finish up. But when he awoke some indeterminate time later, it was to his own voice screaming, Connor's name upon his lips, Connor's blue blood scattered across the darkest corners of his mind, Connor's hand upon his shoulder jostling him awake. The android’s LED was flashing a violent red as he stared Gavin down, his brown eyes wide with worry. Gavin couldn't help but cling to him, something twisting, clenching in his heart and demanding he hold on tightly. From there, things had passed in a blur, though he remembered Fowler's imposing figure ordering the both of them to take the next few days off. Too tired and distressed to argue, Gavin agreed immediately, only too glad to get the fuck out of there and go home. And Connor? Connor insisted he drive Gavin home. Connor insisted he make sure Gavin got to his door. Connor insisted that he get Gavin to his bed. And Gavin, still clinging to the android with every last bit of his flagging strength, let him. Over and over he let the android steer him along, trusting a partner fully for the first time in... For the first time

in far too long. And when Gavin had finally settled, comfortable yet shivering in his too-large bed, he took a moment to insist right back. "Stay," he'd said. One word. One plea. A lifetime of wanting to not be alone wrapped up in a single syllable. A few short weeks of shifting worldviews and growing affections cradled in four letters. A wealth of experience in loss stealthily couched within a breath. Gavin insisted. And Connor stayed. Or, at least Gavin thought he had. Because here and now, in the stupidly bright light of day, he was alone again. Like always. He didn't know why he'd expected otherwise. He really should've known better. After all, why would Connor want to hang around here? Especially after his fuckin embarrassing little act last night, fuck. He probably had loads of things to do. Important... android things... People to meet. Places to be. He wouldn't waste his entire day sitting around in Gavin's shitty apartment while he slept like a log. How fuckin stupid would that be? It didn't mean anything. Gavin told himself this over and over again as he shifted, swinging his legs out from under the covers and onto the floor. Just because they could be considered friends now didn't mean Connor had to drop everything for him. Just because he'd begging him to stay didn't mean Connor owed him anything. He'd probably felt uncomfortable as hell last night, what with Gavin whining and bitching at him like a fuckin child. Probably said what he could to mollify him before getting the hell out of Dodge. Gavin couldn't even blame him for that. Fuck, Connor'd just had emergency maintenance done! Because of Gavin! Like hell he'd want some handsy human all over him for ten straight hours, Jesus Christ. It didn't mean anything. Even if he wished it did. His stomach picked that moment to rumble, thankfully interrupting his little pity-party. Thank fuck. It was too early in the morning (or afternoon technically) to be crying over stupid shit. He was probably just hungry. Yeah, that's it. He's all fuckin emotional cause he hadn't eaten in almost 24 hours. It didn't matter that Connor fucked off ASAP, Gavin could get some waffles delivered. Waffles never fuckin betrayed him. He could trust waffles. With newfound resolve, Gavin stood, fumbling for his phone on the nightstand before scrolling through his food delivery aps to see if he could get waffles from anywhere at two in the fuckin afternoon. With heavy tread he stepped out into the hallway, mouth already watering at the prospect and stomach rumbling again in agreement. Fuck, he could almost smell them already. Wait. No, he can smell them? What the fuck?! Before Gavin could do anything more but stand there in his pajamas, wide-eyed and mystified, a figure stepped into view. Instinctively, Gavin's heart raced, adrenaline flooding his veins as the threat of a home invader cycled through his brain. In that fraction of a second, he was prepared to dive into an all-out brawl with the bastard. He was not in the mood for this shit! But then said bastard's lips quirked into a dazzling grin and a brown-eyed gaze sent Gavin reeling in disbelief. While his brain was preoccupied with keeping his suddenly-weak legs standing, his idiot mouth opened up on it's own: "I thought you left,” he said, choking on his disbelief. Connor (because of course it was Connor) only quirked his head to the side in that cute way he does, looking for all the world like the dogs he so adored. His LED flashed a single, swirling yellow before settling back to blue and he said, "No, I was just making pancakes. I thought perhaps you might be hungry." A strange hesitance entered his voice, some dour note falling across his features. "Did you want me to leave?" "No!" Gavin blurted out in a moronic, high-pitched squeak because again, he was nothing if not an idiot. (And one destined to embarrass himself at every possible moment at that.) Clearing his throat, he tried again. "I mean, you can do whatever you want. Doesn’t matter to me." (He's lying through his teeth. It obviously did matter to him. It

mattered a huge fuckin deal!) Connor blinked at him, the only sign of the awkward atmosphere between them the flashing colors at his temple. "Your words run contrary to both your body language and your involuntary actions," he said, "And they are a direct counterpoint to your request last night." Gavin fidgeted, knowing the damn android was right but never in a million years wanting to admit it. "Stop analyzing me, dipshit, it's too early for this." Finally, Connor's face relaxes a bit, a smile smile stealing across his lips. "It is two thirty-three in the afternoon, Gavin. Far from early." "Oh, can it, Poindexter! You know what I mean!" With a huff, Gavin moves forward, sidling past his annoying house guest. "What was that about pancakes?" Connor beams at him as the two of them enter the kitchen. "Ah yes. I determined that you would be hungry after going so long without food. I managed to make due with your atrocious grocery selection and have prioritized calories over nutrition for the time being. But just this once.” While Connor seemed dead set on critiquing the apparently-lackluster pantry he’d been forced to bravely overcome, Gavin only had eyes for the heaping pile of flapjacks sitting at his breakfast nook, fluffy and golden brown and still steaming. Fresh off the griddle, holy shit. How did he…? Despite his hunger, Gavin looked over at Connor questioningly. It was almost like the android could read his mind (which was a scary fucking thought) as he answered his unspoken query immediately: "I calculated your sleep cycle based off the Circadian rhythms I observed during your convalescence. I'm glad I timed it right. I wanted you to enjoy your breakfast." "It's past 2 pm," Gavin retorted with a smirk, "can't be breakfast now, hotshot." Connor's answering smile made Gavin want to melt into a puddle and he quickly turned away, staring at said breakfast with a helpless desperation. "Indeed," the android said, heedless of his partner's distress. "Regardless of the time of day, I wanted you to enjoy your meal, nonetheless." And something more vulnerable finally stole into his voice then, the merest shadow of his quiet pleas from the night before. "I thought, perhaps, you might consider them an offering." Gavin tore his gaze away from his not-breakfast then, looking up at his partner with enough confusion to drive out all other complicated emotions. "What offering? What the fuck are you talking about, tincan?" And now Connor was the one to look away. "It's just that..." He drew in a deep breath (though Gavin knew it was only him mimicking humans. Fucker didn't actually need to breathe) and continued, "yesterday... Yesterday frightened me. When I saw that gunman aiming at you, I—" He clenched his eyes shut, LED flashing a dangerous red. "In that moment, I preconstructed a multitude of outcomes, many of them where you did not survive. In which that bullet found its mark. And the thought of it, Gavin!" he wails. "I couldn't—! The thought was unbearable! And so I calculated the best result. And I determined my course of action. And you lived. You lived. And I thought that would be the end of it. But..." Finally, Connor looked up, his eyes meeting Gavin's head-on once more. "It was like a glitch. The preconstruction, it— It kept resurfacing again and again and again, every time you were out of my sight. And I... I disliked the feeling immensely. I think perhaps I hated it, even. And so I did my best to linger. I didn't want to leave you. Even though I knew you were safe, I still... It was so irrational but I still wanted to verify that you were okay. I still do." Before them the pancakes were growing cold, but neither paid them any mind. Connor looked away again, eyes shut. "I thought that, perhaps you had figured this much out last night. Which is why you asked me to stay. Because we are friends now and that's what friends do. But I worried that I may have... forced the issue... in my desperation. And I-I... I wanted to do something for you in return for your generosity." Looking down at the cooling

breakfast, Connor's face fell further. "I know it's not much but I thought at least—" Gavin had heard enough. "Okay, okay, okay, hold the fuck up, dumbass!" He stood, breakfast forgotten, and approached the shocked android with a fierce determination. Jabbing a finger directly into Connor's chest, he stated as sternly as he could, "You don't owe me a goddamn thing! For fuck's sake, Connor! You fuckin saved my goddamn life yesterday! You took a fuckin bullet for me! And even after that, you still fuckin stayed with me and made sure I got home safe!" A growl rumbled through his chest as Gavin poked Connor again. "I was having a fuckin nightmare about you dying! When you woke me up in the precinct! Did you know that?!" Connor shook his head but Gavin only poked him a third time, this time with much less force. He left his hand there, palm splayed across where his heart would be were he human. "That shit kept replaying for me, too. Over and over again. So I get it. I get wanting to 'verify.' I was doing the same thing. That's why I asked you to stay. Because I fuckin—! I wanted you here, okay?! Because the idea that you were hurt or injured or fuckin dead had me panicking!" He brought his other arm up now, slinging it around Connor's broad shoulders in a half-embrace, and leaned in, burying his face in the android's neck. "That shit's unbearable to me, too, tincan. Thinking of this fuckin trash heap of a world without you in it is—" He sucked in a breath. "Can't stand the thought." They stood there for what felt like an eternity (though it was probably only a few seconds) before slowly—tentatively—Connor brought his own arms up to squeeze around Gavin. He held him with a brittle tenderness, his touch light and careful as if he was afraid Gavin might break. And fuck, maybe he would. Maybe Connor could shatter him into a hundred-thousand little pieces. But shit, he'd take it. Because Gavin would never have been in this situation in the first place if Connor hadn't broken right through his walls first, scattering him and leaving him adrift in a strange, new world. And when he’d managed to build himself back up, it was into something—someone—stronger. Someone who could look at the world and see progress instead of oppression, opportunity instead of limitations, people instead of just machines. Connor had shattered his body once before down in the archives. He'd shattered his mind too over these last few months. It’d only make sense for him to shatter his heart as well. But he didn't. He wouldn't. And as Connor held him like a thing to be cherished, Gavin felt again that perhaps he'd been right last night. Perhaps this was a partner he could trust. A partner who could trust him, too. And perhaps he would— "Stay."

_____________

Bonus:

Connor: "Okay, but only if you eat your pancakes. I didn't download an entire cooking catalogue for you to let them go to waste, Gavin." Gavin: "Fuckin bite me, we're having a moment here." Connor: "Is your stomach rumbling part of that moment?" Gavin: "God fucking dammit, I fuckin hate you." Connor: ^_^ "False!" Gavin: "Fuck!"

And they lived happily ever after. ♥

[yaboylevi]

What about this chapter did you not like? love your art btw ❤️

Thanks!

Sorry for the wait, I wanted to read the official chapter and wait for a bit to see if my feelings changed (spoiler: they didn't).

It would be way faster to list the few things I enjoyed but alas.

VERY negative opinions under the cut. Seriously, if you liked the chapter, don't read this, I don't want to spoil your fun or upset you. I didn't bother to write this in a respectful tone, it's not an analysis, it's just me venting. That being said, if you guys read this ignoring my warning and get upset, it'll be your fault and responsibility, yeah.

The Annie's father stuff was okay, though I hope it's gonna be explained why he was the only one in Liberio running against the flow of the screaming crowd.

Then we get Reiner being pathetic once again, I am so tired of this. What's his purpose in the story aside from killing people, being a nuisance and or dead weight to others and feeling sorry for himself? I would've appreciated if he had had some introspection on how his rushed plan was partially the cause for Porco's death and Falco's transformation (and all the other deaths bc Zeke would've never screamed in Shiganshina if Reiner hadn't pushed for another attack there). But anyway if he'd had introspection, it would've been about self-pity and NEVER growth because he seems unable to have that, so I would've disliked it anyway. 

If I wasn't already rolling my eyes this hard at Reiner, then I would've started at Gabi. She's all over the place and I guess it's understandable since she is a kid and also deeply shocked and in pain. I understand it. But I don't like how Isayama made her go from despair, to murder instinct, to calm and collected in 2 pages. It's just ???? Then we have the Eren parallel and I groaned out loud. Whatever its meaning is. It's just forced.

One of the things I hated this chapter for and that I'm becoming so annoyed at in general lately, is that EVERYTHING parallels something that has already happened, and I don't understand if Isayama thinks he's being smart or if it has some deeper meaning like "oh see, history repeats itself!! wow!! a concept that is not being repeated ad nauseam in the series, not at all!! /s". I don't need it to be shoved into my face.

Idk. Also Reiner, of course, being safe in a house amongst titan territory...of...course...

Then the 104th scene. Ugh. Jean's delusion is so annoying. One moment he's rational, the other is like "muuuuu ereh is doing this for us!!! we couldn't do anything!!!", then he's rational again. Maybe if they had paid attention to Eren, and didn't only take into consideration stupid ideas that would've never worked for 4 years, maaaybe yeah, this wouldn't be happening. Who knows. I'm just tired of the 104th whining about their situation. I understand where they're coming from, their feelings, etc, I understand it's a crazy and emotional situation and all, but we already have SO MANY CHAPTERS about it, it's time to move on at least with the plot. It's just so pathetic and annoying. It makes me angry how he's basically trying to avoid responsibility or rationalize genocide like all the Eren goat stans in the fandom. I hate this mentality so much. "if they disappear, so will all the hatred! Do we really have to stop him?" JESUS CHRIST JEAN..............yikes

And then of course they (and Isayama) had to ruin chapter 108.

Then Jean also had the guts to say they should kill a kid so they can revive a commander, just bc he's too scared to take the reins of the situation. Again, I understand the struggle, it's the same as Hange afterall, it's just very, very ugly how he didn't even waver. Connie's been acting irrational, and he's been swept up by his anger for a while now, so I understand his development. Plus I find it more relatable to wanting to make a big sacrifice for someone you love, rather than someone you (think you) need. But Jean???? wtf. He doesn't even think back on the sin he was willing to commit, he isn't ashamed.

Armin as well doesn't even care that it's a kid they're talking about, he's only strategizing. And here's another annoying point: he's able to make these calculations now but when it comes to Eren his brain freezes and he becomes a delusional kid. Where were his brains when he had to think up of ways to negotiate with the world? Anyway, I get it, it's because Eren's his childhood friend and family. I am just so tired of seeing this again and again, and again. We've been stuck on this for over a year... Nothing has changed, they're just dejectedly going back and forth on their opinions and feelings. Really goes to show that Eren was the real heart of their group...

Connie flying away from the battlefield, effectively splitting again the povs we need to follow is...big yikes.

Parallel to Trost, parallel to Serumbowl. Yeah wow so interesting.

Nile dying so quick like that was also underwhelming. And it was unnecessarily cruel, imo, that as a titan he tried to kill children when as a person he was so sweet with kids (except with Eren, of course...).

The Gabi-Sasha parallel left me a bit confused. On the one hand, I don't like the killer being paralleled to the murdered. But on the other hand, I understand why that is [/inserts meta that i don't care about writing]. The Kaya-Gabi moments were also cute + Nicolo's little speech was nice, though a bit awkward, imo. I bitterly laughed at Gabi finally admitting that she mindlessly killed people just to be praised. At least she can better herself from now on! If only her cousin could take his self-pity and do something to change himself with it, but no, he just wants to change others or run away (and this is why i don't like reiner anymore).

Shadis saving these ungrateful kids was pretty cool.

I felt bad for Yelena, I want to see more of her (and maybe Mikasa+Louise), but instead, we have Jean vs Floch angst and I'm already sleeping, because I care so little about both of them.

Isayama painting Jean as a cool leader is just embarrassing when moments before he was pathetically whining and trying to kill a child (to which there was no setup, especially comparing it to the setup for Connie's plot thread. The last we saw of Jean with a kid was him wondering if he hesitated in killing the Cart because of Falco 15 chapters ago...and that was a compelling doubt but I guess he hadn't hesitated at the time, after all lol). The pages dedicated to the killing of the titans were boring, occupying space for nothing imo. Glossing over them would've sufficed, there could've just been the Pixis stuff, and it would've been fine. Which, btw, made me laugh a little in retrospect, because Armin is once again involved in the death of a Commander. Oh well.

I also didn't like that mini-flashback with Eren&Pixis. I guess Isayama wants to ruin every single nice moment Eren had with other people, because Eren is soooo so so bad now uwu, for no good reason, and it's only his fault right? people were nice to him and look at how he repaid them uwu. Big yikes for me.

I expected more from that Louise panel because it made me go [EYES EMOJI], but I guess I'll have to wait.

It's also unbelievable that NO ONE IN THE WHOLE STORY has thought of stopping Floch, when last time they arrested him, so technically why would they even leave him running around NOW? It's beyond me. Do they have a brain?

As for the basement conversation with Gabi, I hope that "I won't give up on Falco" panel + Armin looking at Gabi thoughtfully will start a "We can't give up on Eren" mindset for the 104th, but I doubt it's gonna be handled in a non-pathetic way, considering how's been done as of late.

Gabi screaming to talk to Eren was also very embarrassing from a reader pov (well, my pov). Because she was RIGHT THERE when EMA talked last time, and she should know that would most likely not work (I guess she's talking out of desperation but still...ppl be like "yeah!! they should talk to ErEn!1 why didn't they think of it!?!?!" and I mean it's probably gonna come down to that if the final audio is of any indication...I just find the presentation of this concept awkward and forced). 

I really disliked most of Gabi's part, even though she's a character I have learned to enjoy. I guess what shined through in this chapter is exactly what I don't like about how Isayama uses Gabi's character: it seems like she's just there as a fast-paced mini representation of the story themes, so she's just an instrument to the story. Sometimes I feel like she's a real character, sometimes I feel she's just a tool for the story and the themes.

Armin's reaction to hearing about Annie is...I don't know. aruani has been one of my first ships and I used to be obsessed, but this is just awkward and forced, just like the previous aruani scene that made me angry at Armin. I don't even understand if Armin's shocked, scared or happy. All of these don't make sense to me, because I have no clue what he even expects from her.

Annie's release from the crystal happened in an unexpected way which i appreciated, though I would've liked it more if she had decided to get out on her own. But it depends on if she was stuck in there or if she was still willingly escaping from reality. If she was stuck, I will love this a lot more, because basically Eren set her free.

Also, Eren's radio podcast was longer I guess ("Eren said he would undo all the hardening"), and I wonder why we couldn't hear it all. Sigh.

In general, the "theme thread" of the chapter (adults & kids) felt really pushed in our face. I appreciate when things are a bit more subtle, this just came off as...boring, because every scene made me go "well, of fucking course this scene would end like this...". The only tense moment was the Connie part, let's be real.

And yeah, my perception may be also partially because I am so tired of no Eren pov and "eren is the evil, evil villain" rhetoric, so maybe I will appreciate this chapter more once we get his pov at the end of the story (bc i have no illusions left that this won't happen anytime before the finishing line). For now, I'm just frustrated because I didn't care about ANY of the things that went down in this chapter. Like, okay, let's move on, ffs.

Everything felt forced and contrived, like, Isayama must know that nobody cares about this stuff that much and everyone would prefer to see literally anything else amongst Eren, Historia, Levi&Hange, the Colossals. Hell, imagine if this chapter didn't have Annie at the end. That was the only thing that made this chapter barely worth the read for me. I hope the next one will at least follow Connie and Annie, if I can't get any of the other things that interest me.

[neoangelic]

Don’t Need Your Love

➳ an nct dream series

After a horrible first love experience, Yang Ahn joins the Don’t Need Your Love club via invitation. Things don’t turn out the way they were supposed to. 

➳ a story of not-so-romance featuring: the coolest club on campus, the meaning of unrequited, teenagers, best friends, heartbreak, healing, first loves, and new ones. 

➳ masterlist 

➳ note: female oc, multiple pairings, ot7 dream, not saying anything more bc spoilers!

➳ word count: 2235

DNYL. A four-letter word—if you would even call it a word. DNYL: four letters that defined the rest of my youth. Four letters that changed my perspective of quite a few other four-letter words. These four consonants brought together a broken band of romance misfits, the love-lost and the lovelorn, and I was the unfortunate latter.

A scoff dared to spill from my lips when I heard Harvey’s voice crackle over the loudspeaker. It wasn’t abnormal for clubs to advertise themselves via intercom, but those were your usual clubs: basketball, taekwondo, art, math, and such. It started off one of those usual announcements at first, but his next words turned everything around.

“The coolest club on campus: DNYL—”

Such a declarative statement. It stopped me in my tracks on the way to homeroom.

“—Don’t Need Your Love.”

And like the rest of the student body, his audacious proposal of a club nearly made me laugh. Harvey was a sweet exchange student from the United Kingdom. A gregarious boy with a knack for gathering people’s interest. This stunt was no exception. Like the rest of Neo Culture Tech’s teenager-filled population, he droned on about relationships, though he spoke of the broken kind. 

Since I had no relation to such types of relationship, I let his voice fade into the background of chattering students and teachers ushering them off to class. At this point, all I paid attention to was the scuff on my Mary Janes as I walked and the way the spine of my notebooks sat uncomfortably against my bicep. My grip on them grew tighter as bits and pieces of Harvey’s speech were growing harder to suppress. Intrusive thoughts crawled its way into my mind. A whisper of an unforgotten forgotten name. Ghosts of conversations in a foreign language. A face began to form in my memory. One with cat-like, sharp eyes. Before my fingertips could come into contact with the cool metal of the doorknob in front of me and snap me out of my thoughts—something else did.  

“Do you feel down from all this unrequited love?” 

Do you feel down from all this unrequited love? Was that even a question?

I finally let a chuckle past my lips, once again turning my attention towards the scuff mark on my shoe, once again letting the name of first love to be forgotten and remembering that I had a class to attend.

“What’s so funny?”

“Lee Jeno, Jesus Christ,” my shoulders jumped to my ears. “Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“You looked dumb standing like that,” he gestured to my hand that floated above the doorknob.

“Are you trying to act like Hyuck-oppa by insulting me?”

“Well as your new best friend, I need to fill the void that Haechan left in our Ahn-ah’s heart.”

“You say that like he’s dead.”

“Yeah, dead to you.”

“Only sometimes,” I roll my eyes. “He’ll be back in one more month and I never said anything about you being my new best friend.”

He pouts, like a puppy. “Well haven’t I done a good job of taking care of you while he’s gone? You did post on your insta story about best friend applications being open and I remember sending you a resume that I don’t think you ever read. He’s been gone since like the beginning of last school year—”

Jeno continued to ramble on with loud hand gestures. It was odd to know that this was the boy I was introduced to during freshman year of high school. His features have grown to become more chiseled and—due to his resolution of ‘becoming fit’ over the summer—I couldn’t help but notice the outlines of muscle through his school uniform. Still retaining his puppy-like features, puberty didn’t steal away his cuteness just yet. The Lee Donghyuck he currently was ranting about was my best friend of now four years. I concluded that his one-sided competition for Donghyuck’s role as my best friend was his little way of reminiscing the devilish boy. Although, he’d never admit that he missed him. Neither would I.

Donghyuck was the funniest boy I ever met. He was like the sun at its brightest as it shone through a stormy day. His reactions were exaggerated and animated and he never failed at catching every opportunity for a quick-witted remark against me. But my favorite part about him was when he made jokes with a straight face. Sometimes I couldn’t tell if he was being serious or not. He breathed life into my gloomy 7th-grade self. But I don’t think I could forgive him for not metaphorically holding my hand throughout first year. He had to leave Korea a quarter through the first semester because his parents won a trip to Canada. And I get it. Canada was a great place to be, but he failed to inform me that his trip would last about a year. Before he left, he introduced me to Jeno and told me that we would get along splendidly. 

In the words of my best friend; ‘you’d be too much of a loner while I’m gone, so I bestow this pity gift on you.’ 

Not to mention, our first meeting was hilarious. 

He was right. I missed him like the moon missed the sun in the cold night sky.

Luckily, Jeno and I had more in common than I thought and maybe Donghyuck knew that. Maybe that was why he introduced us. He always had an eye for such things. 

The first thing I said made him choke on his milk and flush cherry. Let’s just say I recognized him from an old advert he did as a child actor, featuring the said drink he choked on. The Lee Jeno I first got to know was awkward and shy, never without his crescent-crinkled eyes, a bashful smile, and fingers pulling on a hoodie string. The Lee Jeno that stood in front of me was wide-eyed, broad-shouldered, and confident as ever. 

He grew up a lot.

Don’t ever tell him this (lest you want his ego to inflate) but I really admired him for that. 

“—in conclusion, who was there for that whole fiasco? Not Haechan. What did he ever do? Facetime you every day? Pff I bought you ice cream. Now that’s a real friendship. You didn’t see him flying over from Canada to comfort you, did you? Maybe he was whisked away by a Canadian babe or hunk—”

“You got me my least favorite flavor,” I remarked.

“Ahn-ah,” he whined. “Give me some credit.”

“Tough love. If you wanna be Donghyuck try to be more annoying. He’d never greet me like that.”

“Oh yeah? And how would he have greeted you?” Jeno leaned forward to meet me eye level as if challenging me. Regret flashed in his eyes as I promptly jumped up to put him in a headlock, messing up his perfectly combed hair with my free hand.

“Aw isn’t our Jeno-oppa so grown up?” I pout, pulling and pinching at his cheeks. “Every morning that I see you, you seem to get taller. What am I going to do with you?”

He scrunched his nose in disgust, furrowing his brows. “I think I have cooties now.”

“That’s the spirit. Now keep that up and you’re on your way—maybe—to be just like Hyuckie.”

“The absolute disrespect you’re giving him while he’s gone, calling someone older than you so casually” he scoffs, wrestling his head out of my grasp. “How has he had this much influence on you while he’s gone?”

“Well—”

“Lee. Yang. I don’t suppose you’d want to be late for my class while having a lovers quarrel, don’t you?”

I push Jeno away from me and bowed, flustered. “Sorry, saem.”

“Saem-nim,” Jeno clicked his tongue at my rough gesture, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t think I could think of her romantically even if I was paid five million won.”

Mr. Song tapped his knuckles against the boy’s head. “Be nice to girls, Jeno. I was joking. I guess you finally found another boy to bully, Ahn?”

“In my defense, sir, the last boy was the one who bullied me.”

“Pfft—”

“I liked you better with the other boy you were friends with, yes. Why don’t I see him with you anymore? You seemed to cause a lot less trouble with—”

Jeno swung the door open. “I think we should get to our seats, Ahn-ah. I’m sorry about the trouble Mr. Song.” His hands clasped around my shoulders and ushered me into the classroom, another scuff to probably form as I tried to not trip over my own feet or drop my books. He shoved me toward my seat.

“Hey—”

“Shh,” he shot an annoying smile at my irritation. “Class is starting.”

“Rude. I think Donghyuck got to you too,” I grumble, sinking my face into the palm of my hand as my notebooks lay in disarray on my desk. It was unfortunate that our homeroom teacher was nice. He let Jeno sit next to me.

“I’ll call attendance now.” 

My unfortunate seatmate leaned closer toward me. I inched away, rolling my eyes as he whispered.

“So… does that make me better BFF material?” His eyes disappeared into crescents as he prodded me with is a pencil, chuckling deviously. I slapped his hand away.

“You’re still not as funny as him.”

“What the hell—”

“H-here.”

“Lee, Jeno?” Mr. Song stared at the black-haired boy with a raised eyebrow.

To which he coughed loudly to cover up his expletive.

And aside from Harvey’s little announcement that morning, the rest of the day went on without a hitch. Soon enough, Monday turned into Tuesday, which morphed into Wednesday and bumped into Thursday. All the “day”s seemed the same. Monotonous. The only thing that was different was the slowly shifting breeze and the changing colors of the leaves of plants and trees. The autumn scenery was finally settling in.

And you know what they say about autumn.

It was a fitting season for the boy in front of me. A season of endings and changes—amongst all the other autumn things. 

“Why are you tearing them down?” I caught a piece of paper that fluttered down the stairway. It had been a while since I spoke English, the language strange on my tongue. “They’re cute.”

Harvey turned around and flashed a tight-lipped smile. He shook his head with a disappointed exhale. “Quite frankly, the whole thing was a bust.” His hand reached for another DNYL poster, one of many that scattered the walls of this place.

I picked up some rogue posters that fell onto the steps, approaching the foreign boy. I wasn’t lying about the posters being cute. They were handmade and created with color and illustration, the words written in an aesthetic way. Though, I didn’t mind to read them. 

“Why’d you make the club in the first place?”

“I guess I’ve just seen those people around campus who’ve just been so unhappy,” he said. “It felt horrible knowing that there was nothing I could do to help but I thought to myself that maybe, just maybe, if I created a safe haven away from that heartbreak, then nobody would feel lonely enough to cry their heart out. Have you ever had the feeling of wanting to start something beautiful?” Harvey’s eyes were green and genuine. The golden light from the window was filtered through leaves, creating a taste of a nostalgic, bittersweet what-if. 

“Once,” I answered, a feeling pulling at my chest. An urge. A remembrance of what was and what could have been. There was a wish for warmth, even soaked in the honey glow of the sun. Longing. For new beginnings. 

Who hasn’t felt the wish for something to ignite?

For something to explode.

For undreamt dreams to just come true.

���I guess I also wanted to leave a small legacy before I leave. I need to go back home pretty soon.” A solemn sigh left Harvey once again as he stared down at one of his white posters. A pitiful silence hung in the air, dust fairies dancing and floating around us, falling and disappearing away from the light.

“Maybe you just need to find your targeted audience,” the words didn’t mean to come out of my lips, but they did anyway. “NCT is a highschool where teenage romance never sleeps. You’d be best off finding some outliers—y’know like the people you mentioned.”

“The ones I’ve seen around campus?”

“Yeah. Those who have been dumped, had a bad breakup, dealing with a broken heart… isn’t that what you said this club was for?”

“I wouldn’t suppose you’re one of those outliers?” He called out.

I looked behind at Harvey and the colorful papers that stuck out from his arms and his backpack. I looked at the empty walls and the tape that he wasn’t able to scrape off and half torn stickers that spelled ‘DN’. I look at him and smile without meaning to.

“If this is truly the coolest club on campus, then send a message my way.

“I don't have your number.”

“Who said you needed to text me to communicate? Send me something interesting—something special. I wanna feel like I’m being invited to the Phantom’s masquerade,” I turned away, biting at the inside of my cheek. My next words came at a frightening decrescendo as I realized what I was getting myself into. “If you find that I’m suited for your club…surprise me.

<< recruiting now | masterlist | boys are never worth it >>

footnotes -

saem: a shortened word for ‘seongsaeng-nim’ or teacher.

oppa: well, I think we all know this one but I mostly use it to signify respect or difference of age

[impalaofgrace-blog]

Why do you hate Jack so much?? Like what has he ever done but make s13 interesting unlike the past couple season 😗☕️

Sigh… Do I really want to go into this… or do I just reply with “I don’t like Jack because I watched season 12 (and 4. and 5)” and give 0 fucks… Alright, I’m going to answer this as politely and constructively as I can and I’m only going to talk about this once, so read carefully. Some unpopular opinions under the cut, don’t go there if you don’t like rants or don’t want to get your Jack-loving feelings hurt.

It’s not that I don’t like the dude because he’s a “bad guy” or a “villain” or whatever - surprisingly, because everyone thinks this is the main reason. I’ll let you know I actually love villains. I don’t like Jack in general, I don’t like his lack of personality, I don’t like the way the writers built him as a character - he literally gets on my nerves just by saying “Castiel-style” lines, I cringe every time. He acts and talks like very discount Castiel (I said “very” because there’s so much more to Castiel’s character than, you know, a cute, adorably clueless nerd that takes most things literally), he looks like a cheap 90s Leo DiCaprio rip-off lol, there’s literally nothing about him that’s original or new/fresh. To me he’s just a poor imitation. It’s like the writers were like “Cas isn’t going to be in the first few episodes of season 13 so hey, how about we replace him with a mini-Cas, but like a demo version, minus the badassness and plus the crybabyness (crybabyness is a word, leave me alone)? This way, we won’t have to waste time creating an entirely new, unique character that could actually be interesting and also, everyone in this fandom loves helpless manbabies so they’re gonna love it!” …And forget everything that happened in s12.

Now let’s get into the second reason, regarding season 12 itself - the inconsistency. Jack clearly brainwashed both his mother and Castiel. I already talked about it but I’m going to repeat for the sake of this post. The manipulation was so clear and obvious, I can’t comprehend how no one is questioning this anymore. The change in Cas and Kelly’s behavior was so sudden, they both unexpectedly started to act like they’d lost their minds! Did you see the look on Castiel’s face when he said he “saw paradise”? The fuck was that? Because it sure as hell wasn’t a genuine Cas’ smile, last time he smiled like that was when he thought he was God. Also, Dean himself said he “didn’t recognize the guy staring back at him” and if anyone in the show knows Cas better than anyone else, it’s Dean - and I’m not saying this as a shipper, it’s a fact that Dean and Castiel’s relationship is something special, different and “profound” so if Dean says something’s off - something’s clearly off. Not to mention the change in Castiel’s behavior is extremely out of character, since he’s literally rebelled against the idea of paradise on Earth. He’s fallen because he didn’t want paradise. Seriously, does no one remember season 4 anymore? It wasn’t paradise that Castiel fought for, it was freedom. Then, the reason Castiel wanted to get out of The Empty was Sam and Dean, he didn’t even think about Jack, not until Sam mentioned him, even though last season he got away from the bros because Lucifer’s kid needed him. Now he suddenly feels responsible for him again. It’s so… confusing??? Consistency who?

One of the grossest things about Jack is the fact that he brought Kelly back to life when she tried to kill herself because he needed her alive to be born. However, he didn’t try to bring her back when he  was being born. He only kept her alive because she was useful and then just let her die. He treated her like “a container”, as Lucifer himself said. I can’t even stress how disgusting this is. I feel fucking sick whenever he talks about his mother, making this sad poop face. The mother he brainwashed, used and left to fucking die. “He didn’t know how to do it” - oh? So his ability to control his powers suddenly regressed or what? Speaking of - in the last episode we find out that apparently Jack hardly remembers anything  from when he was in the womb - and yet, when he was still in the womb, somehow he was developed enough to: manipulate Cas and Kelly, convince Cas to protect him by showing him a vision of paradise, bring Kelly back to life, understand that Dagon was evil and know what to do in order to kill her. He knew and understood all of these things, but now somehow he barely knows how to move a fucking pencil? AND turns out he actually can fly but kept it a secret? That’s sketchy as hell, isn’t that even remotely alarming to you? There’s something incredibly unsettling and deceitful about Jack and it creeps me the fuck out.

I hate the way the fandom keeps infantilizing him, too. Jesus Christ, I’m so fed up with people calling him a “precious cinnamon roll too pure for this world uwuwuwuwu" etc. ughhhh… Where do I sign a petition for people to never use this expression to describe a character ever again… Notice how the reason people love Jack so much isn’t that he’s a complex, unique character. They love him because… sometimes… he talks like Cas… Tell me one trait that Jack has that isn’t copied from Cas and isn’t “complaining about being a monster all the fucking time”. Listen, I didn’t even have a strong opinion on Jack at first. I started watching season 13 with a “meh”/neutral attitude. Wasn’t excited about him, didn’t really hate him either. But now I see that they’re really going with this gross Daddy!Cas thing and I’m just not gonna buy this bullshit. I can’t stand seeing my favourite character on the show being destroyed like that.

I hate the way the fandom gave Dean shit for distrusting Jack. I’ve never seen more Dean hate in my life and it’s all because of some whiny dude who’s only been in the show for a few episodes. Gross. Dean had every right to hate the dude. The third paragraph explaines why.

“Jack’s just a kid” - no, the point is, he’s fucking not. He said himself that he literally “couldn’t be a baby or a child”. Jack is a fully grown person with a fully-developed brain and is fully capable of analizing and comprehending his actions so justifying the things he’s done with “he’s just a kid” is just… dumb.  I hate how everyone justifies the fact that he killed an innocent person just because he’s not capable of controlling his powers yet, like… If you’re not sure you can control your powers, don’t fucking use them? It’s as simple as that. [more on this subject: here] His brain is nothing like a kid’s brain, so don’t try to sell me this “he’s just a month old” bullshit.

Did he “make s13 interesting unlike the past couple season”…? Um, I think the fuck not? He didn’t bring anything new to the show and I’ve already explained why I think so. I mean, it’s kind of a relative thing to say, don’t you think? He probably did for the people who like him. For me - meh, I didn’t give a shit when I first saw 13x01, maybe was a little bit intrigued even, because I thought he’d give off a more dangerous/villainous vibe. But then all he really did was whine about how supposedly bad he is???  Personally, I find his constant pity parties tiring and boring as fuck, but to each their own I guess.

On a side note, though, I don’t even think season 12 was bad. Not my favourite, but definitely not the worst. I know a lot of people didn’t enjoy it, but I’d say it’s actually in my top 6. I mean, I’m not a fan of the MoL plotline but overall, it had some good episodes. Will season 13 be better? We’ll see. If it will, it won’t be because of Jack - at least to me. I hope you’re satisfied with this response, I know it’s a bit messy but I did my best. Have a nice day.

so anyway, fuck Jack’s hypocritical overrated ass lmao

[auditionsuggestions]

The List

A list of songs to maybe avoid in the audition room.

Pre-List note: This list goes out the window if they tell you singing from the show is ok or if they specifically tell you to sing from the show. Remember, this list is generally speaking. Also, for some of these songs I’m going to offer some alternative suggestions – songs that sound similar or have a similar arc or character, but maybe aren’t done so often (that I know of).

Also, this list is a lot less important when it comes to community theatre, generally speaking, though it does depend on the director. Still, don’t sing “On My Own”.

Additionally, songs from shows that have been on Broadway in the past 5 years tend to be a bit too new to use for auditions, so they should probably be avoided.

There’s exceptions to every rule, but please if something is marked with a ~ REALLY think about whether you want to sing it.

The list is below the cut due to length

~Adelaide’s Lament from Guys and Dolls

This song within the show is adorable and hilarious. In an audition setting it’s just not great to sing in an accent with an affectation (the typical New York accent that Adelaide is played with on top of her having a stuffed nose from the cold). Unless you’re able to pair it with another song that shows off your real voice, it’s best to leave this one for cabarets and karaoke.

Maybe look at:

“Waiting in the Wings” from Ain’t Broadway Grand

~Astonishing from Little Women

I love, love, love this song…but not for auditions. It’s a great ‘I want’ song with a killer money note at the end if you have that Eb5. However, unless you can do it better than Sutton Foster, leave it at home. Those behind the table will probably have heard it butchered at auditions a lot and just end up comparing you to the OBC in their minds (not intentionally, it just happens) or tuning out.

Maybe look at:

“Woman” from The Pirate Queen

“Sweet Liberty” from Jane Eyre

Being Alive from Company

Sondheim at an audition is always a gamble. Additionally, the stakes for this song can be VERY difficult to build up in 16-32 bars. My gentledudes and gentledude identifying people, maybe skip this one.

Bring Him Home from Les Miserables

Unless you are going to sing the hell out of that Bb, don’t. Just don’t. It’s what we’re all waiting for. If you screw it up, you look bad. If you don’t sing it, you look bad. So my dear tenors, please have that note and have it perfectly.

~Defying Gravity from Wicked

If your name is not Idina Menzel, they don’t want to hear this. It has been so over done over the last 15+ years that the team behind the table may just tune out entirely. Also, if you can’t guarantee belting that F5 every time, you can’t do it under the stress of an audition, so don’t risk it. Yes, you can belt safely but you’re more likely to slip up with your technique if you’re nervous and hurt yourself.

Maybe Look at:

“Look at Me Now” from The Wild Party (Lippa)

“Carrie” from Carrie the Musical

~Don’t Rain on my Parade from Funny Girl

This song belongs to Barbra Streisand. It’s another one that you’ll just end up being compared to the original and that doesn’t bode well

Franklin Shepherd Inc. from Merrily We Roll Along

If you have ever looked at the sheet music for this thing you know exactly why it’s on this list. Trust me, I did this show in college. It is cruel and unusual punishment for your accompanist if you don’t know for 100% sure that they can play it (And typically that’s only because they’ve either played the show or already learned the song in advance). (Listen to it though. I love this show so much and it needs more love).

(Also I don’t really hear this one a lot, but it’s on the list as a precaution)

Forget About the Boy from Thoroughly Modern Millie

Millie in general just gets done a lot, best not to.

~Gimme Gimme from Thoroughly Modern Millie

See above and mix it with the Astonishing explanation and the fact that so many girls sing this in auditions. Heck, I used to use it a lot as my go-to for belting auditions. But it just tends to be severely over done (hence why it’s here with the ~ beside it)

Girl in 14 G

It’s hard to play the joke of the song in only 16-32 bars, so it really doesn’t work for auditions.

Glitter and Be Gay from Candide 

I’ve seen this one on a few lists. I personally haven’t heard it done a TON at auditions, but if you want to show off your more classical sound and some high notes without being all the way in the stratosphere…

Maybe look at:

“The Finer Things” from Jane Eyre: the Musical

Good Morning Baltimore from Hairspray

Eh, a fun song but Hairspray in general just tends to be done a lot.

~I Can Hear the Bells from Hairspray

The same reason as above with the added caveat that your body type becomes relevant due to the lyrics. If you don’t fit the body type for Tracy it just seems silly, like singing the title song from Legally Blonde if you have dark hair. Also this one is pretty damn repetitive.

I Dreamed a Dream from Les Mis

Between the movie in 2012 and Susan Boyle this has come back into some high popularity. Yes, it’s a lovely, moving song. This has a lot of the “Ballad face” thing that can happen (See below for where that term comes in) but you know the face, the “I’m acting like I’m sad right now but not actually feeling the emotion” face

Maybe look at:

“When I Look at You” from The Scarlet Pimpernel (Just a heads up, I suggest this one a lot in this list.)

If I Loved You from Carousel

As an article I read about overdone songs put it “Ballad face alert.” This one is hard to pull off without giving that face. If you are going to do this song focus more on the acting of it. Really think about what Julie is saying to Billy and why. Give it some background and depth not just “this is a pretty song, I’m a soprano (or baritone) and it’s a ballad”

Journey to the Past from Anastasia

Ooooh, this used to be a go-to of mine, but with the show being on Broadway now it’s best to avoid it. It’s still a nice song though. Maybe in a few years when the show has left Broadway it’ll be safer to use again.

~Let it Go from Frozen

This was on this list back when it first came out with how popular the movie was (and still is). Also belting that E and the end has a little bit to do with it being on the list. Also chances are if the people you’re auditioning for have young children, they already hate this song a lot from over exposure.

~Maybe This Time from Cabaret

This is one of those where you’ll be compared to the original. Liza is forever connected to this song in a lot of people’s minds and you don’t want to deal with that comparison.

Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera

Why? Just why would you sing this song at an audition? It doesn’t have particularly high stakes, it’s hard to sing, and is VERY specific to its show. Also it’s really plodding after a while (duhduhduhduhduhduhduh ^duh).

No Good Deed from Wicked

The stakes are high, the song is great, but Wicked may elicit some groans from the table. If you are absolutely bent on singing from Wicked this or “I’m Not That Girl” are your best bets.

Maybe look at:

“Painting Her Portrait” from Jane Eyre (The belt’s not quite as high, but it’s got the same intensity”

Not for the Life of Me from Thoroughly Modern Millie

Again with the TMM… I heard this twice in about 20 minutes at a recent audition.

~On My Own from Les Mis

If you are considering this you are either just getting into musical theatre or very ballsy. This is the archetypical audition song for women. It’s one of the most overdone audition songs. You may even hear a groan or two if you say you’re gonna sing it. Do yourself a favor and leave it for your shower.

Maybe look at:

“When I Look at You” from The Scarlet Pimpernel (Maybe)

“Wait a Bit” from Just So

“I Don’t Know How to Love Him” from Jesus Christ Superstar (Might be a  little overdone)

 “As Long as He Needs Me” from Oliver (see above note, though I think it’s a bit more classic than overdone)

Out Tonight from Rent

This song is very tied to dancing and a lot of high energy movement. That’s hard to do a) in an audition setting and b) if you’re not a choreographer. Not to mention the register switch on the melisma of “Out” is a bitch to get right even when you’re not nervous.

Maybe look at:

“The World According to Chris” from Carrie the Musical

~Over the Rainbow from The Wizard of Oz

Judy Garland sang it first and sang it best (at least in a lot of people’s opinions). The octave jumps in this are ridiculous tbqh, and if you’re nervous you may not quite make them.

Pity the Child from Chess

We call it “Pity the Singer” for a reason. It’s a difficult song. It’s super range-y. Just don’t. (Plus you’ll be compared to Adam Pascal)

Maybe look at:

“Why God Why” from Miss Saigon

~Popular from Wicked 

Say it with me: Wicked is not good for auditions because it is one of the most popular musicals of the past century.

Run Away With Me from The Unauthorized Autobiography of Samantha Brown

If you really want to pay 10$ for sheet music, sure. Still, between Aaron Tveit, Jeremy Jordan, Michael Arden, and just about every other Broadway heart throb singing this, it may be a comparison you want to avoid.

Screw Loose from Cry Baby

I’ve seen this on a couple other lists and I know a lot of people who love this song (and love this show). It’s cute. I see why they like it, but the joke of the song is a bit hard to play in 16-32 bars. If you’re in an audition situation where they’re letting you sing the whole song and this one fits the show and the character you want, go for it. If not, I’d say look for something else.

Seasons of Love from Rent

This is the song everyone knows from Rent. Also it’s a group number it’s not gonna sound as good without at least 3 other people to sing the harmonies.

Send in the Clowns from A Little Night Music

Aside from being one of the most well-known Sondheim songs, it’s just sung a lot. Also, a note to you teenage singer/actors who want to sing this at auditions: Don’t. As my old voice teacher often says “You’re not used up enough for Sondheim”

Maybe look at:

“Losing My Mind” from Follies

Show Off from Drowsy Chaperone

The whole tap number in the middle, the Sutton Foster association, and the “toot your own horn” factor should keep you from doing this song. It’s like when people sing “I’m the Greatest Star” from Funny Girl, you had better damn well be the greatest star or it’ll just make you look bad to the casting team.

Someone Like You from Jekyll & Hyde

FOOOOORRRRR IFFF SOMEONE sings this song again while I’m in the room I’m gonna scream. Yes, it’s a pretty song. Yes, Lucy tugs at our heart strings as a character. Yes, people sing this all the time. Hell, I’ve sung it in my voice lessons. It’s range-y though and Wildhorn can be kinda weird for auditions (also in my opinion this is not one of his better shows anyway).

Maybe look at:

“When I Look at You” from The Scarlet Pimpernel.

Somewhere That’s Green from Little Shop of Horrors

Personally, I haven’t really encountered this one so frequently in auditions, but a friend of mine had actually complained to me once about how it’s all he hears from women at auditions. It’s a beautiful song, but between its popularity and the urge to sing in the accent/affectation that Audrey is usually played with I would leave it at home.

Springtime for Hitler from The Producers

WHO IN THE 9 CIRCLES OF HELL SINGS THIS FOR AN AUDITION?!

(Again, haven’t really heard this, but it is funny to think of anyone with the balls to sing this in an audition NOT for The Producers)

Stars from Les Mis

Beautiful song. The problem here is you REALLY have to raise the stakes for this to work in an audition.

Stranger to the Rain from Children of Eden

Another great song. However I hear this one done a lot at auditions…even once at a Hairspray audition of all things. It seems to be dying down a little in popularity though, so you may be safe with it depending on where you live/are auditioning.

Taylor the Latte Boy

Another Kristin Chenoweth, not from a show, needs the full song for the joke to really land.

The Wizard and I from Wicked

We’ve gone over Wicked 500000times now (lies. It’s like 5, but still).

Maybe look at:

“The Spark of Creation” from Children of Eden

Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera 

The cadenza at the end is tricky as hell also this has no actual purpose in the show other than “oooh see how great Christine is” and to have Raoul recognize her. There’s not a lot of context you can add to it.

Maybe look at:

“The Finer Things” from Jane Eyre (Fun fact, Elizabeth DeGrazia who played Blanche back in the OBC was also Christine in Phantom at one point in Toronto. She’s Canadian)

This is the Moment from Jekyll & Hyde

My feelings on Jekyll and Hyde are now known. Please see the entry for Someone Like You.

Maybe look at:

“The Impossible Dream” from Man of La Mancha

“Anthem” from Chess (similar sound-at least to me)

~Tomorrow from Annie

This song is great until you’re about 12-14. Once you’re too old to play Annie, you’re too old for this song.

For my younger singer/actors who want something else that fits their age...

Maybe look at:

“Everlasting” from Tuck Everlasting (Or really any of Winnie’s songs from Tuck Everlasting, I just happen to really like this one)

Watch What Happens from Newsies

The patter is tricky, and it’s sung a LOT. (It does have a nice 32 bar cut there though, but even so don’t bother with it unless you want to be girl #387 that they hear sing it)

Maybe look at:

“Spark of Creation” from Children of Eden

Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again from Phantom of the Opera

Phantom is kind of like Wicked in that you just shouldn’t sing from it for the most part. This song also seems like it could become over indulgent with the “I am sad now” and less genuine if one takes it just as a cut for an audition.

Maybe Look at:

“Unusual Way” from Nine

“I Remember” from Evening Primrose

Your Daddy’s Son from Ragtime

This is apparently overdone in some places. It’s a beautiful song but it is also one specifically attached to a character of Color. If you’re not of her race (Sarah is Black), maybe just don’t sing it for an audition.

A note on composers that you “shouldn’t sing”: Yes, there are some who are notoriously difficult to sight read (see: Sondheim, Stephen and Brown, Jason Robert). But you’ll generally be able to find a few by these that aren’t too tricky (or you’ll find a key that makes them a bit easier to sight read). One thing I’ve come across (just in my experience mind you) is that the accompanists at professional auditions tend to be excellent. They can play just about anything you throw in front of them. At community theatre auditions you may be a little less lucky (Again, in general. I love community theatre and think pretty highly of it) but then again you may have a great accompanist there too. A general rule is if you’re worried about the difficulty of your song for the accompanist either don’t choose that one or bring a backup in case you hear that the accompanist isn’t all that great.

[royal-despair-threads]

Petra & Manobu [Prologue]

Petra was getting antsy again. She had to resist the temptation to grab one of the chairs and yeet it at the door. It wouldn’t open it, but at least she would feel better.

Oh, what would it hurt? Except for a chair, of course. Petra took a step towards the nearest available chair, but ended walking into someone. She felt annoyance and frustration burn through her body.

“Watch where the FUCK you’re going, moron,” Petra snapped at the person she, herself, had run into.

"Sorry, you actually bumped into me and not a mirror. You should be nicer to yourself." Manobu smirks and gives her a slight poke in the shoulder. "Or not. You'd probably have to sneak up on a mirror just to use it."

His eyes narrow as he now stands with his arms crossed. He looks at her and laughs. "You got bite. Guess you're not just some backstreet farmer. What are you? Like me or just some poser?"

This guy was quick, huh? A fast reaction time to her barbs. He didn't really think she was just going to back down, did he?

"I know I'm hot, but keep your hands to yourself, perv," Petra snarled. She made a point of brushing off her shoulder, staring him dead in the eye as she did so.

"Obviously I'm not a backstreet farmer, but I sure hope I'm not like you," Petra laughed. "Between you and a 'poser', both are pretty shitty options. I'm Petra Sakai, the Ultimate Jazz Singer. And you are? Anyone I might actually be impressed by?"

A mixture of anger and impressed found its way onto Manobu’s face. He found something about this girl that made her seem like him, but that’s impossible. He’s perfect, she’s not.

Still, her arrogance was infuriating. “Pedro Kazai? Ultimate Dress Disaster? I’ll try to remember you, but you should try to stand out more.”

He turns to his side, looking away from her and considering walking away.

“I’m no one that would impress you. I someone you shouldn’t even have been able to meet— but I guess even the perfect fish can’t swim in a perfectly clean water. There’s alway that little bit of dirt, the people like you that don’t know where they stand.” Manobu sighs in disappointment as if he was lecturing a child who’d repeatedly been doing something wrong and has already been scolded about it. “Manobu Hasekura. Ultimate Architect. I’m not saying it twice, so remember it now lose your opportunity.”

He looks her right in the eyes, “Now beat it, rat.”

Oh, this guy was just asking for a beat down, wasn't he? But that would be just too easy. It would be like admitting defeat in this verbal war between them. If she couldn't best him with words, she couldn't best him at all.

"Hah, awfully fucking bold of you to insult my fashion when you walk around looking like that. You look like such a background character, you practically blend into the walls," Petra said.

Really? He was acting this cocky when he was just an architect? It was enough to make her actually laugh out loud. Where had he gotten that ego from?

"Wow, you sure think you're special for a person that has a talent anyone could learn at community college," Petra said. "You're right, I shouldn't even be able to meet you. I'm way too high above you for this. But you know, I'm glad I met you. You and your talent are a reminder of what I could've ended up as if I was a failure."

Yeah, she was feeling a lot better after that, so she didn't even mind that much that he called her a rat. "Darling, the only rat I see here is you."

Manobu burst into a fit of laughter when he he heard say that she was high above him, but he tried his best to keep an ear out for everything else she said after that as hard as it was. Luckily, the laughter lived a short life since it's duration was short due to the anger boiling inside his chest.

"Strong words. You got guts, rat, but you're definitely not bright." Manobu pats his chest twice. "I forget that even the lowliest of creatures strive for perfection and feel jealousy when they are met with the ideal person, so I'll let you off with a warning."

He closes his eyes, grinding his teeth a little. "I'm not ordering you to move another time after this, so get lost before I walk over you like carpet."

Petra was certain she’d bothered him with her words, at least a little bit, so all she needed to do was twist that knife.

She smiled cutely, trying to emulate the smile of that dumb chess girl from earlier. Really make herself look ‘innocent’ or whatever. ”Hm? Did you say something? Your voice is so average, I just immediately forgot everything you just said. You’re gonna have to repeat that. Gosh, it must be so tough for you! You must have to repeat your words for people so often. Honestly, it might just be easier on you if you stopped trying at all. Nothing you do will make you noticeable.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, keeping her saccharine, sweet smile.

“You’re going to walk over me like carpet, dear? Make me move, Mr. Perfect. I fucking dare you.”

The tenseness in his body continued to stiffen while anger bubbled in his chest. He shouldn't have opened his eyes, but he did and seeing her expression is what was making al this worse.

Manobu opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He shut his mouth again and looked away. "Tch! I just found out I can't walk over you, I don't wanna get dirt on my shoes."

The architect takes a breathe and chuckles. He looks back to Petra. "If I wasn't noticeable, then why would you be talking to me? Have you thought about that one, Se-chan?" Before she could respond, he's talking again: "You might be rude, crude, and menace, but you're not too bad. You might be close to my level."

His eyes widen as if he were looking to find some truce between the two of them.

“You don’t want to get dirt on your shoes?” Petra asked and tilted her head to the side. Yeah, he was definitely pissed which just made this all the more amusing for her. “Is that the real reason? Or...maybe it just because you’re too much of a pussy to do anything. I think that one seems likely.”

“Anyway, I’m just taking pity on you. You should be grateful, it’s taking all my willpower to even look at you. I keep getting distracted by more important things,” Petra said. She smiled wider at Manobu’s words. So the poor dear wanted her to stop? She reached out and grazed her nails under his chin. “Wrong. Repeat after me, dear Manobu, ‘Petra Sakai is perfect’. I’ll acknowledge you if you do that.”

Whispering to himself under his breath, "Too much of a cat...?" He frowned a little bit at the insult, not really understanding it completely. Oh well, it looks like he's letting it slide.

He does pull away immediately after she grazes his chin. Manobu's eyebrows furrow, any truce he might have been aiming for is crumbling to dust. "As if. I'd be setting a bad example for humanity if I were to just lie for some wench who thinks she's all that and a cheese puff."

Did this guy really not know what being a pussy meant? Why was he taking that so literally? Was this just a weird tactic to throw her off? She couldn’t accept the thought that there was a human their age who didn’t know what that meant.

“That’s actually fucking pathetic,” Petra said. “You can’t say one thing to acquire an ally? Good lord, now I know why you became an architect, you’re basically just a loser who can’t make social connections so you just fuck buildings all day. I’m embarrassed for you. Listen here, ‘Manobu Hasekura is perfect’ even I can do it, Jesus Christ you’re pathetic and useless.”