#all our exes live in texas

[winchesterwild78]

The Ranch Master list

Characters: Jensen-cowboy, single dad, x Reader-city girl moved to country to get away from it all

Over all Warnings: Language, Angst, SMUT!, Injury.

*Individual chapters will contain Warnings*

A/N: A short little story featuring our favorite green eyed cowboy, not an actor in this, lives on a ranch in Texas, is a widower with 3 kids. Reader is a city girl who moves to the country to get away from her ex and start a new life. She takes a job on the ranch and things develop between her and the cowboy.

So much love and thanks to @cheynovak for the idea. ♥️ All work is my own. No disrespect to anyone, this is a work of fiction. Do not take my work

Minors DNI 18+

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Complete

Tags are open, if you want to be added, let me know.  If you want to be removed, let me know too.

Tags: @nescaveckdaily  @kr804573 @k-slla @jackles010378 @jawritter

@xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @roseblue373 @cheynovak @jassackles  @chriszgirl92

@suckitands33 @arcannaa @n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 @smoothdogsgirl

@hobby27 @manicjk @stoneyggirl2 @deans-spinster-witch @snowayumi 

@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87

[dreaminrainbows]

Happy 28th lovies!

September was such a hectic month, i had three concerts in the span of a week, one of which was Louis', the end of the Festival Louis Era, the start of uni and my fav F1 driver being dropped (i was also deep in my Veronica Mars feels for a chunk of the month). It has been a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least but here are all the fics i read this month that made it a million times better!

Consider leaving comments and kudos, feed your authors the attention they deserve!

My Hands at Risk, I Fold by yourgorgeouscolors | [43.7k|

"Sometimes, when Louis first wakes up, he thinks he’s back in the hospital, and panic hits him." Or, Harry is a famous popstar, Louis is a famous football player and one injury changes everything.

Deemed and Delivered a Crime  by LetTheMusicMoveYou/ @letthemusicmoveyou28 | [35.4k]

Harry keeps his voice low and calm. “I need you to listen very closely because I’m only going to say this once.” When he’s only greeted with silence on the other end, Harry continues. “For every hair that is harmed on Louis Tomlinson’s head, I am going to break one of your bones. And then when you’re reduced to a pathetic little pile on the floor, my men and I are going to kick around your limp carcass in my garden for footie practice. Do you understand?” There’s a few more beats of silence, before the voice on the other line answers. Still sounding calm and unbothered by Harry’s creative threat. “I’m glad you received our message Mr. Styles. Are you ready to settle on a suitable sum for Mr. Tomlinson’s release?” (Or the one where Harry is the most feared mob boss in London. Louis is his ex-husband who left that violent life two years ago to teach Uni. His peace is shattered when he’s kidnapped by Harry’s rivals).

you are half of me (and I am all for you) by angelichl/@angelichl | [24.7k]

One Direction, an obscure indie rock band, is about to embark on their first cross-country tour, living out of Louis' beloved van named Patricia. Harry is in love, and Louis is oblivious. Or is he? Featuring skinny-dipping in Texas waterfalls, getting lost in the desert, stargazing under the New Mexico sky, performing in front of crowds that grow in size each night, and falling in love on the road during the greatest summer of their lives.

Please Tell Me That You've Got Me by ColourfulSuitmoon/@colorfulsuitmoon | [20.6k]

“This was a pleasure, ladies. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Louis says. He then turns to Harry and gives him a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow too, kitten.” Harry is stuck staring at the door where Louis just disappeared through. “Did he say…” Harry starts. “Kitten,” Florence says with a nod. “Harry…” “No, it’s just a fluke. It doesn’t mean anything,” Harry says firmly. Or a world where the nickname your soulmate will call you appears on your chest on your 18th birthday and Harry wakes up with the only name he hates.

Chasing Feelings by Neondiamond/@neondiamond | [20k]

When homicide detective Louis Tomlinson first gets assigned to work with detective Harry Styles, the newest addition to the Doncaster police station, on the biggest case of his career, he’s less than enthused about it. There’s a serial killer on the loose, and Louis has no time to waste working with a newbie, despite how attracted his inner Alpha may be to Harry’s sweet scent. Along the way, he finds he may have been too quick to judge the Omega.

Language Of A Petal by bittersweetsin/@bittersweetsin | [15k]

“Wait, you're reading Divin-“ “-Divined Souls? Yup,” Harry finishes for him. Starving off a grin, Louis says, “Have you actually been stalking me all this time and just lied about not knowing me?” “Guess we’ll never know.” or Louis is a librarian, and Harry comes in all the time to return books he’s finished reading. Every time Louis opens the book to check for any damages, there’s always a flower hidden in between one of the pages, specifically on a paragraph that has a deep meaning.

Heat and Greet  by HoldingOnToChaos/@holdingontochaos | [12.4k]

Harry and Louis are co-workers who are excited to represent the company they work for and do an important presentation at a week-long conference in Yosemite. It's just their luck that Harry slips into heat while there. Panicked at the thought of missing the presentation, Harry asks Louis to help him through it. And how could Louis deny the omega he's been dreaming about since they met?

I Feel It When My Heart Beats by QuickedWeen/@becomeawendybird | [10.6k]

Harry offers to be her best friend Liam's fake date to his work Valentine's Day party, and the night takes an unexpected turn.

One Minute Old by crimsontheory/@ireallysawanangel | [9.2k]

“And he left you,” Niall interjects, the venom clear in his voice. “That asshole left you high and dry and broke your heart.” Of course, Niall remembers that. Louis may have told him everything—minus the sexy parts—and Naill, being the overprotective mother friend that he is, took offence to that. “He didn’t break my heart,” Louis refutes. He was hurt and confused by it but he wasn’t heartbroken. And apparently, he’s still hurt by it if the way it felt seeing Harry yesterday was any indication. “You were pretty smitten with him and then you spent days moping around your apartment after he left. I think that’s called being heartbroken,” Niall points out. “Okay, okay, I was upset. We get it,” Louis says, trying to move past it. This isn’t ‘poke fun at Louis’ emotions hour’. “Anyway, I called to tell you that he showed up at my door yesterday.” “To beg for your forgiveness I hope.” “No, he’s—” Louis stops, unsure how to phrase it. “He’s pregnant. And I’m the father.” Or, a one-night stand of Louis' that he never thought he'd see again shows up at his door six months later.

Ride My Sleigh Tonight  by kingsofeverything/@kingsofeverything | [9k]

In exchange for free food and drinks at Liam’s office holiday party, Harry pretends to be his boyfriend. But this is not that story.

Tight As A Tourniquet by reminiscingintherain/@reminiscingintherain | [7.4k]

“Mum?” “Yes, poppet?” “Could I do your job when I’m a grown-up?” “I don’t see why not, sweetie,” she agreed. “You can do anything you want, as long as you put the work in, and dedicate yourself to it.” Louis Tomlinson has always wanted to be a midwife like his mum, but in a world where it's expected for Omegas to be the caregivers, how is he going to manage his career when he presents as an Alpha?

Now That I've Found You by allwaswell16/@allwaswell16 | [6k]

Harry Styles has a great job working for his brother-in-law’s construction company. He has just one small problem. His concrete sub-contractor just quit, and he needs a foundation built as soon as possible. One fateful turn brings him exactly what he’s been looking for—an experienced concrete construction company that happens to be owned by the most beautiful man he’s ever laid eyes upon. Or Louis is a long haired, sweaty construction worker. Does anyone really need to know more than that? Harry doesn’t think so.

There's No Better Love by QuickedWeen/@becomeawendybird | [5.3k]

Louis has just started seeing this girl, and he can't stop thinking about her. Turns out the power of positive thinking is real.

The Nest by Blue_Green28/@bluegreen28fics | [5k]

Harry is a very particular omega who doesn't like to have items of Louis' in his nest until he secretly starts to steal them for it. or, 5 times one of Louis' personal items is missing and 1 time he finally finds them.

Profound Bond by babyhoneyhslt/@babyhoneyheslt | [4.6k]

Harry Styles, an Angel Of The Lord, is sent on a mission to save hunter Louis Tomlinson from the deepest pits of Hell in order for him to fulfill Heaven's plan.

The World Will Open Its Arms by lululawrence/@lululawrence | [4.5k]

Harry scrubbed at the countertop. It wasn’t even dirty, but it was three in the morning and the girl who was supposed to relieve him over an hour ago never showed. He was now on hour ten of his shift and his feet hurt and his back ached and he was trying not to cry, thanks to more fucking judgmental alpha truckers who could smell it on him. Of course they could. He practically lived at the diner. The entire place reeked of it. Unbonded pregnant omega.

Alone and Back Again by LadyLondonderry/@londonfoginacup | [4.4k]

Harry Styles has very few enemies, and even fewer friends. On the outskirts of the village, past the stream but before the river, sits a small one-room cottage, cool in the summers but draughty in the winters. In that one room cottage sits a cooking pot over a fire, a smaller selection of woodworking tools, and a nest of furs that is the pride and joy of one lonely omega. Or, what does one do when a feral alpha shows up in town ready to be executed?

The Rose & Dagger  by galastyles | [4k]

The first time Harry went to a session at The Rose And Dagger, he told himself it was a one time thing. The second time, he said it was to get the idea out of his system. By the fifth visit, he stopped making excuses.

Up on the Roof with a School Girl Crush by HelloLovers13/@hellolovers13 | [3.9k]

Harry was just trying to get some work done and have a quiet night in. He did not expect to become host to a drunken Louis, who had overestimated his Halloween costume's ability to fly.

He's An Angel  by cc_horan28/@cc-horan28 | [2.7k]

As the sun set over the horizon and they reeled their lines in, Louis saw a glint off the beach. They began to head back to where the horses were tied, and the glint solidified, turning into a vague shape that was… Coming out of the sea? Louis couldn’t believe his eyes as he saw what looked like a man just walk out along the shoreline to where their rides were tethered. The shopkeepers and locals were all whipping to stare at him, but the man seemed completely unbothered.

Just a Little Taste, Babe by allwaswell16/@allwaswell16 | [2.6k]

Harry’s been pining over Louis Tomlinson since their sixth form days. Now, he’s backstage at Louis’ concert and trying not to embarrass himself.

HOT TO GO! by allwaswell16/@allwaswell16 | [2k]

When Harry does something weird at the barricade, he leaves Louis’ show devastated and hoping he can somehow make things right. Or the accidental pervert fic

A Tight Space  by haztobegood/@haztobegood | [2k]

Niall pushes the bedroom door open. A huge mass of brown fur bolts between his legs. Louis startles with a hand to his chest. “What the fuck was that?” “Oh, that’s the cat. I told you Liam found a stray a few days ago. That’s him.” “Are you sure that’s a cat?”

and in those rare moments by we_are_the_same/@so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed | [2k]

London, May 23rd, 2025 Interview with Harry Styles, popstar, bisexual icon and philanthropist, by Louis W. Tomlinson.

for your eyes only (i’ll show you my heart) by moon_rose25/@darkinfinity | [1.9k]

Louis quickly opened his eyes and scanned the room, his eyes stopping on the sofa on the far left side. There was a man, turned with his back towards Louis, and based on his slow rise and fall of his back he guessed he was sleeping. If he had to guess, it was probably an omega, based on the faint scent. Or omega Harry has touch depri and finds comfort in alpha Louis’ scent

How to Fire a Tailor by LadyLondonderry/@londonfoginacup | [1.8k]

Harry Styles is a tailor. His best paying customer is an eccentric duke. Also Niall is there.

Singing Like a Bird 'Bout It Now  by QuickedWeen/@becomeawendybird | [1.8k]

Dr. Louis Tomlinson is worn to the bone, but only has a few patients left before the end of the day. One of those appointments takes quite a few twists and turns.

Cosy Cashmere  by red_panda28/@red-pandaaa | [1.5k]

“Hey,” Harry smiled back, stretching out a hand. “So, I was thinking,” Louis started as he stepped closer to the couch, tangling the finger of his unoccupied hand with Harry’s. “We could go get some new nesting stuff for my upcoming heat? Well, I’m gonna go anyway, but I thought I’d ask if you’d like to come with me.” “Alright, give me like, fifteen minutes to change and then we can go,” Harry said. OR Louis and Harry go shopping for new nesting stuff

Curiosity by HelloLovers13/@hellolovers13 | [934]

Fae Harry lets curiosity get the best of him. Human Louis is intrigued.

Expresso by reallynotmemoi/@reallynotmemoi | [880]

Louis falls in love at first sight with a boy from his Tuesday lectures, and proceeds to make a fool out of himself in front of said boy. But maybe not all is lost…

****

saccharine desire by DaddyAlphaLouisBabyOmegaHarry/@bottomhaztoplou | [682]

During Louis' rut, a new kink is discovered.

Tumblr only allows me to add 30 pics BOOHOO!!

Anyways Happy reading!

Don't be shy leave comments and kudos!

You have no idea how appreciated they are!!

[dayslynthesix]

guess who's back | max verstappen x female!oc [part 2]

part 2 of the one where max got back to his ex girlfriend part 1 here

amayamedina

iked by itsmegigi, charles_leclerc, thstsanneg,. beabee, f1 and others

amayamedina missed the view w/ my girls, fast cars going vroom vroom is not my passion | 📍yas marina circuit

thstsanneg_ i mean kinda like fast cars going vroom vroom 😊

amayamedina no you hate it and it's ok you don't need to lie to make me happy

thstsanneg_ thank god, can i go home now?

amayamedina no. 😊

itsmegigi i swear to god if ferrari fuck up again i might 💣💣 maranello

amayamedina hey scuderiaferrari she's short but she's very dangerous she blew up a bathroom once be warned

scuderiaferrari yes ma'am! 🫡

beabee alonso rapido y furioso

amayamedina i though you liked jenson button?

beabee i do!!

charles_leclerc nice to have you back

amayamedina yeah someone needs to keep gigi out of trouble (trouble being she imploding ferrari)

itsmegigi i would never do that now i now lewis is joing the team

lewishamilton thank you?

georgerussell63 where's the mercedes merch?

amayamedina in your dreams, carmen do something george is delusional

user29 ok so shes really back at the paddock

user93 i hope she's recording for the channel cause if i receive another "jumping of a plane | parachuting vlog" i don't know if i will be able to take it

amayamedina that sound awfully like my mom?

user84 patiently waiting for annes stories of gigi freaking out

itsmegigi to live for the hope of it all, right

november 26th, 2023

maxverstappen1

liked by redbullracing, verstappencom, f1, silverstonegp, amayamedina, schecoperez and others

maxverstappen1 great way to finish a great season, see you all next year

verstappencom 🏆🔥

redbulracing lovely, simply lovely season! have a nice break and we see you soon!

georgerussell63 congrats mate, well done 👍🏻

f1 our world champion, ladies and gentlemen 🏆

itsmegigi congrats, i guess (?)

maxverstappen1 ariana what are you doing here?

itsmegigi what a polar bear is doing in texas?

maxverstappen1 god, you're so annoying but i kinda like you

charles_leclerc congrats mate, amazing season for you and the team

itsmegigi yeah don't expect me to say i kinda like you too (i do and i miss your cats 😭

charles_leclerc amayamedina do something your kid is suffering here

amayamedina i mean that sounds ridiculously not my problem 😭 but i can arrange a meeting between jimmy and sassy 🤝🏼 gigi

maxverstappen1 thanks charles

itsmegigi sooooo you're not following each other again?

maxverstappen1 no 😊

charles_leclerc no 😊

user1 ok so amaya is back at his likes

user2 jesus you guys need to stop being creep and stop paying attention to this shit

user1 i literally just commented on something i saw, get a grip

user2 no you get a grip, f1 is about the races and the drivers or about their girlfriends?

user1 i literally JUTS commented on something I saw cause I like amaya and she was very nice TO ME when I meet her, go touch some grass

user4 so no one is complaining how this season was a pain in the ass with the redbull dominance or it was just when it was mercedes?

user5 GOAT!!

itsmegigi yes! but what we really want is forza ferrari winning everything, hope it helped you

maxverstappen1 no

user6 flawless season for max and the team, i wish we could have saw they winning all

december 1st, 2023

amayamedina

iked by itsmegigi, georgerussell63. tharles_leclerc, thstsanneg_, beabee verstappencom, maxverstappen1 and others

amayamedina summer went away and so, dump vith the best people i know

user61 ok so he's back at her likes

user83 do you think they're back together

user61 na, not yet, at least not officially, he can't keep his mouth shut about her even if his life depends on it

user83 he mentioned k a few times during his interviews last year as well

user61 idk if you were here back in 19 but 8 out of 10 times he was like "actually, my I girlfriend 🤓👆🏻"

user32 like cmon there's no way pic 2 and 4 it's not max

user61 it's so obvious lol

user853 liked by max verstappen

itsmegigi love youuuu 🩷🩷

amayamedina love u more ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

charles_leclerc i miss the old times we got to get those nice trips together 😩

amayamedina no you don't! those trips were always chaotic AND YOU KNOW IT

charles_leclerc it was not! what do you mean, we nearly got losted in croatia cause of me? it was super funny!

amayamedina yeah sure right 👍🏻, chaotic is your life choices (ferrari)

charles_leclerc i don't miss you att all

georgerussell63 yo, did you bought that boat?

mayamedina obviously! i only need a boat license now

georgerussell63 so.. who was driving the boat?

itsmegigi me!! don't worry im a great boat driver

thstsanneg_ you're the best and i love you wishing that trip was longer but time to go back to normal life 😩😭

amayamedina no! i love you 🤝🏼🩷

beabee the gang it's what a trust

amayamedina my whole world

carlossainz55 so who's the dude? asking for a friend

amayamedina meet him yesterday, don't know his name

user55 god shes so UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY

user8 ON VALENTINES DAY IN BRAZIL??? GIRL YOUR SO NOT INNOCENT AT ALLLLL

user18 care to explain??

user8 she hard launched them in interlagos 2019 haha

june 12th, 2024

amayamedina

iked by itsmegigi, beabee, thstsanneg_ maxverstappen1 and others

amayamedina this is from early this month but i got the chance to celebrate my birthday 15 days earlier at the eras tour with my best friends and the people i love, thank you all for coming to england on the most chaotic 36 hours of my life, i love you all and im very grateful for you presence in my life 🩷 ps: thank you for ALL the friendship bracelets, i love them

georgerussell63 you're creating an army of swifties around the paddock and im here for it!

amayamedina keep laughing (carmen told me ou re planning to go, message me when you decide the dateee

thstsanneg_ ilove youuuuu, happiest birthday my friend, you deserve all those great memories

itsmegigi that was amazing, fabulous, incredible, i love you and i love to celebrate with you, happy (official) birthday

amayamedina i love celebrate everything with you 🩷🩷

amayamedina my fav memorie will forever be you yelling cruel summer, love you so much 🩷🩷

beabee happy happy happy birthday!! that was amazing and im very happy we can celebrate yourlife with you, ti amo ❤️❤️

amayamedina i love youuu, te quiero mucho! 🩷

maxverstappen1 happy birthday! 🧡

amayamedina thank you! ❤️‍🩹

user83 the orange heart is back

user33 they're so obvious (im envious)

user31 cuties

charles_leclerc happy birthday amayaaaa you're the best, happy 24th!!

amayamedina thanks charlie!!

user38 oh they're so back together

user16 she was friends with char but i don't see her with alex?

user92 cause the person who need to like alex is charles who's her boyfriend, but she was there as well and there's a photo of everyone in the updateswag page 👍🏻

user82 they all went to celebrate her birthday with her at the eras tour 🥹

user18 charles and charlotte broke up years ago why you keep talking about them?

user3 omg wag patrol is really a thing 🚓 god forbid us to like people 😁

lewishamilton happy birthday, amaya! all the best 😁

amayamedina thank you, lewis! all the best for youuuuu

madalenamedina happiest birthday, my baby! i love you so much and so dearly and im so happy you have all those amazing people around you to celebrate with you! 🥰❤️

amayamedina mom don't make me cry i love you so much and im so lucky to be your daughter! 🩷❤️‍🩹

user44 all again she must be amazing cause lewis is here againnn

user64 so max skipped sim session to go to the eras?

user21 my dude chill down he can skip a sim session and we cannot know 100% if it's him cause guess what she only tagged her friends

june 30th, 2024

maxverstappen1 i can't sim race untill 3 in morning and now i can't skip a sim session, what can i do?

amayamedina you could have won austria cause it's my birthday but you know... 🤷🏼‍♀️

maxverstappen1 i tried ok? but there was a mclaren dangerously racing me and that made my life A LIVING HELL

landonorris i mean you made me dnf

maxverstappen1 get out of here

amayamedina get out of here

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, amayamedina, redbull, verstappencom, redbullracing georgerussell63 and others

maxverstappen1 sim racing with the guardians of the galaxy, a bunch of assholes charles_leclerc, georgerussell63, landonorris

charles_leclerc you' re insufferable

maxverstappen1 no one forced you to be here, just saying ☺️

georgerussell63 now someone please release the footage of max pushing charles out of the track, crashing on lando and dive bombing me

maxverstappen1 until evidences appear im innocent of all charges

landonorris you pulled an austria on me again

maxverstappen1 we talked about it, be elsa, let it fucking go

landonorris i can't that was unfair

charles_leclerc that's my quote

maxverstappen1 actually IT'S MINE YOU PUSHED ME OUT OF THE TRACK

charles_leclerc be elsa, let it go

itsmegigi i swear i cant with all of you, seriously, go play some tennis, touch some grass, learn how to cook

maxverstappen1 what's wrong with our chilling activity?

itsmegigi what's wrong with you?

charles_leclerc i can answer that

lewishamilton i can back charles up

amayamedina i can testify that there's a lot wrong with him but we working on it

maxverstappen1 i hate all of you

amayamedina so that's why you ditched me

maxverstappen1 you're sitting across the room?

user83 sooooo they're back together right??

redbullracing we're monitoring you👀

user96 i think its unfair redbull not letting nax to sim race all night when they're LITERALLY a energy drink company

maxverstappen1 i agree with that

amayamedina they bio literally "praying for redbull downfall"

maxverstappen1 user96 i don't agree with you anymore

user21 where's the person who said max skipped a sim session to go to the eras now?

maxverstappen1 it was crazy funny, i would do it again, just for informational purposes

august 12th, 2024

amayamedina

liked by itsmegigi, georgerussell63 charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, f1, thstsanneg_and others

amayamedina i like shinny things ✨️

thstsanneg_ we can see you do 👀

itsmegigi dont fool yourselves, the dress in the 3rd picture is mine and I've been looking for it!

amayamedina our* dress

beabee glowing

amayamedina alexa play bejeweled by tswift

maxverstappen1 🧡🧡🧡

amayamedina yeah idk what that supposed to mean so thank you?

maxverstappen1 jesus, woman, you're so difficult

charles_leclerc nothing to comment but i wanted to comment something so wanna go shopping with me?

amayamedina no 😁 you have a girlfriend, call her 😁

user83 so max is back to her likes AND her comments?

user1 careful with the comments about max and amaya, people are witch hunting us

user83 god forbid us to like people who were nice to us

user93 i miss her vlogs so much

amayamedina il be updating the channel this week!

user93 amaya please no more parachuting 🙏🏻

august 28th, 2024

amayamedina

lked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 itsmegigi, georgerussell63, f1 and others

amayamedina i swear i don't, miss you at all and blah blah blah anywayyyy summer dumpppp with a few of the people i like (there's an intruder on the dump but whatever)

charles_leclerc that's uh very suspicious 🧐

amayamedina it's not that deep, charlie

itsmegigi you're welcome for the 1st pic 📸

amayamedina THANK YOU

beabee getaway trip for the break, i missed this

amayamedina the gang is what i trust 🤝🏼

thstsanneg_ gorgeous people and this strange dude, famillar face though 🤔

amayamedina and im sure I've seen much hotter man but right now i can't remember when

maxverstappeni excuse me?

amayamedina you're excused! 😁

georgerussell63 and yet you posted the intruder 🤔

amayamedina yeah so someone can came pick him up 😁

maxverstappen1 you're insufferable

amayamedina but you like me 🥹

maxverstappen1 maybe

landonorris im still trying to think about this subtitle, is it like...you're back together? is this max? what is this?

amayamedina two heads and you still can't put the dots together

landonorris max your girl is being rude do something

maxverstappen1 no, she can be rude for both of us 🧡

maxverstappen1 🧡🧡🧡

charles_leclerc stop with the orange hearts, do better, you're a world champion

maxverstappen1 whos the handsome dude?

amayamedina a richie playboy

charles_leclerc NOT LIKE THAT MAX

itsmegigi lestappen is lestappening 😭 (charles giving max relationship advices)

charles_leclerc i gave up seriously

user83 im dying to know about about this

user89 my friend and i have a theory so i'll share, we think they started to talk to each other back in the las vegas/abu dhabi gp, she was there with redbull and she was at his side of the garage, we also think they only started to follow each other again cause they talked

user74 so do you think they're back together how long?

user89 a few weeks probs, she posted him in june and the post was at the eras earlier in june soooo... and they were together during the break. amaya wouldn't post it if it wasn't serious, she's very private with her personal fe even though we think we know her cause she posts a lot liked by amayamedina

user74 how it was when they first dated?

user89 it took her MONTHS to soft launch him lol, ever whe she was at the paddock they were very discreet and it took like half a year for us to see his face on her feed and we knew they were together liked by amayamedina

lewishamilton got to know more on this section than i knew all those months, gret theories girls 🙏🏻

september 5th, 2024

amayamedina

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc redbullracing, fi, itsmegigi and others

amayamedina sooo guess who's back, back again 🤪❤️‍🩹 happy birthday, baby, i love you and our second-chance-trope-romance, wish you all the happiness (and sucess, and victories, can't stand a mclaren dominance please do something) in life, ik hou van je mijn liefste (i love you my love)

charles_leclerc fucking finally, i was miserable rolding back this to everyone

amayamedina you literally texted me last week asking if we were back together cause we were giving "mixed signs"

charles_leclerc yeah cause you were kissing but he called you honey and you told him to fuck off

maxverstappen1 yes, she does that, frequently

maxverstappen1 i missed you so much ❤️❤️ love you 61 times 🧡🧡

amayamedina why 61 times?

maxverstappen1 that's the amount of victories i have 🤪

landonorris that was very rude

amayamedina get out of herel!!

lewishamilton can't say i saw this coming

amayamedina i mean iwas at the paddock since melbourne, you had dinner with me and max went pick me up, gigi and anne were mocking me cause i called max my heart ????

lewishamilton i though you were supporting redbull 🤔

maxverstappen1 I AM THE REDBULL SHE WAS SUPPORTING??

lewishamilton yeah yeah anyway, happy birthday 👍🏻

landonorris SO YOU ARE BACK TOGETHER

mayamedina no we're just friends 😁

maxverstappen1 obviously, we're very friends

itsmegigi my my my 🥹

amayamedina loverrrr

itsmegigi happy birthday max 👍🏻

maxverstappeni thanks gigi 👍🏻

thstsanneg_ im very happy for you guys and now i can finally update all the photos from summer and also happiest birthday max wishing you all the best

amayamedina please send me all of them please

maxverstappeni thanks annie

beabee my parents 🖤🖤

maxverstappen1 you re very weird you re literally 22 im 4 years older than you

amayamedina max don't talk to our daughter like that!

beabee 5* im still 22 and you're already 27

maxverstappen1 yeah taylor swift was right you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum i run

amayamedina WE ARE SO GOING TO THE ERAS TOUR AGAIN

danielricciardo maxmaya is back bitch!

mayamedina guess whos back, back again tell a friends

user62 OMG I KNEW ITTTT

user93 THE BIGGEST ONE ARE BACKKKK

user13 I CAN'T BELIEVE THISSSS

user1 me: will only believe they're back ogether if i see it, me, seeing it: i can't believe

user84 great amaya is back sucking his fame again

user33 you're jealous cause she's sucking him and you're not 🤪

user73 i cantttt with them hard launching on max birthday 🤭

user44 kinda cute kinda missed them

september 30th, 2024

maxverstappen1

liked by charles_leclerc, amayamedina redbullracing, verstappencom, f1 and others

maxverstappen1 i tried to stay out of troube but they say the sequel is better than the original ✨️

amayamedina obviously, fast and furious 2 is better than fast and furious, anyway i kinda missed you

maxverstappen1 everyone knows the best one is fast5 and you know i have missed you, too much for our own good

charles_leclerc ok so it's officially official, mom and dad are back together

maxverstappen1 for christ sake, not you too

itsmegigi war is over liked by maxverstapper

thstsanneg_ we kinda survived the great war of his relationship lked by maxverstappen1

beabee mom and dad are baaaaaack! liked by maxverstappen1

redbullracing we were missing amaya back at the garage.

madalenarnedina very nice to have you back with the family! looking forward to receive you at our house, and please, don't mind richard, he's still upset about the redbull thing

amayamedina "the redbull thing"i already told dad i couldn't date a ferrari driver ever though im a ferrari girl but he cant let it go 🥹

maxverstappen1 I already apologized for it 😭

landonorris im so confused right now

charles_leclerc they're back together, that's all you need to know

maxverstappen1 no, we're not

amayamedina just friends

georgerussell63 cuties liked by amayamedina and maxverstappen1

user72 WAR REALLY IS OVER I CANT BELIEVE THISSSS

user33 they're so unintentionally funny lol

user13 can't wait to see oscar and amaya being unintentionally funny together

amayamedina i would never gang up with mclaren!

oscarpiastri what's wrong with us mclaren drivers?

amayamedina orange is not my color

maxverstappen1 excuse me?

amayamedina papaya orange is not my color*

user16 charles can finally go back to third wheeling them officially

user82 like they're back together and we're happy as fuck, but can you imagine the chaos the break is going to be? last time they went to brazil and it was NUTS

maxverstappen1 it was ALL on amaya's, i didn't do shit

amayamedina yeah sure whatever you say big boy

maxverstappen1 that was cringe please don't do it again

lewishamilton why there's a photo of young max?

maxverstappen1 i needed to do it aesthetic ✨️

lewishamilton you're so in love with amaya hat you're already typing like he

maxverstappen1 how do you know how amaya type? 🤔

lewishamilton we exchanged skin care routines 😊

amayamedina flawless skin ✨️

maxverstappen1 yeah sure im out of here bye

[almostgenerallyalways]

mamas (don’t let your babies grow up to be cowboys)

Pairing: Jake Seresin x fem!reader Category: angst / fluff / run-on sentences Word count: 3,1k CW: language, I’ve been to Texas once okay forgive me, divorce Author’s note: this was supposed to be a holiday fic but I got stuck on it and almost abandoned it, but here it is rescued from my drafts, shoutout to all the amazing tgm fic writers your writing truly astounds me

Summary: Every year around the holidays, you hear from your ex. This year when you don’t respond, he decides to show up at your door. 

2022

Jake UT  [November 23, 2022 at 10:24 PM]

Hey stranger

Visiting my mom for Thanksgiving

How’ve you been?

You ignore the message. How you’ve been in the last twelve months is not something you feel up to discussing with him.

You spend the next weeks dealing with crisis after crisis at work, leaning into the chaos like you have been all year. Your personal life? Garbage fire. Reconfiguring your entire pump setup two weeks before going to production, because the DoC slapped an import ban on one of your key suppliers in China? You’re on top of it.

But then, the week before Christmas, another message comes in:

Jake UT  [December 17th, 2022 at 3:47 PM]

Hey

In town for the holidays

Would love to see you if you’re free

Brett welcome too, of course

A pang in your chest, but curiosity gets the better of you, so you text back:

Thanksgiving and Christmas? Judy must be thrilled.

You’ve met Jake’s mom all of one time, ten years ago, but she made a lasting impression. Fiercely protective of her only son, she’d been wary of you at first (you were, in order of importance: Too non-Texan, too vegetarian, and too focused on trying to rescue an almost-due group project for your sustainable water management class in which no one was pulling their weight).

And yet, over the Thanksgiving weekend you’d spent at Jake’s mother’s house in Colton, she’d slowly warmed up to you. You’d asked her endless questions about her job as a project manager at Austin-Bergstrom, and she’d poured you half glasses of wine (still exotic, to you, back then) at the kitchen island, shooing Jake back into the living room.

She’d even called you, after you guys broke up, to say she was sorry to hear it, and to tell you to call her up any time you needed someone to talk to. You’d tried your best to keep your voice even, not to break down in tears for the seventh time that day, and never called her again.

* * *

“Dude. Put your phone away for two minutes.”

Jake looks up apologetically at his friend, and pockets the device. “Sorry. Just expecting a text.”

Sandeep holds out his bottle of Lone Star, and Jake clinks it with his own. “It’s good to see you, man. Sorry I wasn’t around at Thanksgiving, we were visiting Jed’s family in NC. I didn’t expect you to be back so soon.”

Jake takes a swig of his beer, the cold liquid feeling like a balm to his throat. “Yeah, well. It’s been a big year, work-wise, so they owed me one. I wanted to spend some extra time with my mom.”

Bringing up his drink to toast again, Sandeep says: “Here’s to you, bud. And to getting that permanent assignment in California. At least we knew where to send our holiday card this year.”

Condensation drips down the neck of his bottle, and Jake spins it slowly in his hand, stopping himself from peeling off the label. He feels on edge, unmoored, despite this 6th Street dive bar being as familiar to him as the back of his own hand.

Sandeep’s got his number. “Seeing anyone else while you’re in town? I don’t know, Myers?”

Jake doesn’t look up, but feels his cheeks heat up fractionally.

His friend takes another swig of his beer. “I guess I should stop calling her Myers. You know, with the divorce and all.”

The bottle escapes Jake’s grip, and amber liquid sloshes across the table, into Sandeep’s lap. “Shit, Seresin! Grab some napkins, will you?”

* * *

 2012

 You’d always known there was an expiration date on this thing with Jake, which is why you’d been reluctant to meet his mom to begin with.

You wanted fundamentally different things. He, the Navy: Adventure, excitement, a chance to serve his country. You: Stability. A family. A place where you belonged.

Both of you: an opportunity to prove yourself.

It’s civil, as far as breakups go.

“You always knew I wanted to fly.” He says, over breakfast at Magnolia Café. There’s a hard set to his jaw that makes you soften in contrast, because of course you do, everyone who’s ever been near Jake Seresin for longer than ten minutes knows he’s always wanted to fly.

From your first date he told you about how Judy used to park him in her office at the airport when her summer childcare fell through; little Jake happily spending the day watching commercial jets taxiing and taking off in quick succession.

How her coworkers, the civilian engineers who’d stayed on after Bergstrom Air Force Base was decommissioned and commercialized, would regale him with stories about generations of F-4 Phantoms. Or the British Airways Concorde, one of only twenty of the ill-fated aircraft ever made, bringing the Queen to Austin in a little yellow hat. The Reconnaissance Air Meet bringing in the best fighter pilots from across all divisions of the military and abroad, to compete and show off their skills.

Jake would listen to them with stars in his eyes.

You pick at your migas, your appetite gone. “I know, Jake. I would never stop you.”

But you look at him, and you know your face mirrors his determination. “But I can’t come with you, Jake. I can’t start my career following you around from camp to base year to year. I’m forty-thousand dollars in debt getting this degree, and I need to follow my own plan.”

You haven’t moved in together, though Jake spends most of his nights at your tiny off-campus apartment, where you’ve made him countless cups of black coffee trying to fuel weekend study sessions. Where he would come in past midnight, back from the late shift at his part-time job at the H-E-B, and bury his face in your neck, waking you up even though you’d been asleep for hours. Where you would hold his sleeping head to your chest, his deep breathing somehow felt inside of you, and run your fingers up and down the bare skin of his back, trying to memorize him.

You’re twenty-two, you tell yourself. This is not the end of the world.

So you see him off at the front door, a box of his things clutched to his chest, and you force yourself to be strong. “You better be,” and you try to smile up at him, but you’re not sure you’re doing a convincing job, “You better be the best goddamn pilot the Navy has ever seen, Jake.”

For a second, he looks like he wants to say something, but then he just puts down the box, and pulls you into a last embrace. You sink into it, the fundamentally safe feeling of his arms around you, then make yourself pull away after a minute, pretending you don’t see the wet stains on his shirt.

Later you look at all the spaces in your apartment he is now conspicuously absent from (no dog-eared volume of Game of Thrones on the nightstand, no boots by the door), and it hits you then; the crevasse he’s left in your life. It may run deeper than you thought.

* * *

Jake had gone to Officer Candidate School in Rhode Island, then designator-specific training in Pensacola, Florida, and done his best not to think about you.

It helped that his days were intense and exhausting. It helped that, on liberty weekends, girls would flock to him and his friends in bars.

It helped to be several states away from you.

It helped to be living his dream.

* * *

There is a bit of a backslide, that first Thanksgiving after, where you both think it can’t hurt to see each other for one drink, for old time’s sake, which ends in him taking you up against the door in your new apartment, your legs wrapped around his waist because he does not have the willpower or presence of mind to figure out the way to your bedroom.

He knows it was a mistake, at about five AM the next day, when the blue light of morning starts streaming through a gap in the curtains, illuminating your tousled hair fanned out over the pillow, the steady rise and fall of your chest so familiar to him he could cry.

Untangling himself from you hurts, and he does perhaps the most cowardly thing he ever will: he sneaks out before you wake up. But next week he’s shipping out, and the thought of the same dead-end conversation over coffee made just the way he likes it is unbearable, so he makes himself walk away.

Somehow it’s worse, the second time around.

* * *

You’d met someone else, like he’d known you would. He sees the engagement announcement on Facebook, browsing on his phone between drills, and likes the post. It’s the third year he’s been away, and he’s at TOPGUN by then, so he has a lot on his mind. He has a girlfriend, even, a local: cute as a button, beats him savagely at pool.

It doesn’t fully hit him until the first time he sees you with your then-fiancé, at a little holiday reunion of college friends. He sees you with that ring on your finger, another man’s arm around your shoulders, and he gets an acute sense of the alternate reality that could’ve been his.

It feels a little like losing altitude too fast.

Your initial reception of him is understandably frosty, but you seem too genuinely happy to hold a grudge. By the third round, when he sidles up to you at the bar, you give him a quick hug, looking up at him with a smile that squeezes his heart: “I’m so proud of you, Jake.”

He nods, not quite trusting himself to speak, and pulls you back in, just for a moment, tucking your head under his chin. You smell like apple and magnolia, like nights spent with his nose pressed into your back.

You don’t invite him to the wedding, and he’s all too glad not to have to make up an excuse not to go.

* * *

Things settle, after that. Jake gets deployed and reassigned, breaks up with his girlfriend and eventually gets another. You get promoted to senior engineer, then project lead. You see each other, not every year but close enough, sometimes with your husband there, sometimes without.

He braces himself for the next Facebook post; that you’re pregnant, but it never comes. Over time, even that seems to lose some of its potential emotional impact on him.  

Until three weeks ago, when you don’t text him back.

* * *

 2022

 You kick your shoes off in the entryway, then head into the kitchen to pour a glass of water. Before you can reach the tap, the doorbell rings, and for a second you think somehow, some way, your terrible Bumble date has followed you home.

Grabbing the biggest kitchen knife you own off the magnet strip over the sink, just in case, you creep back to the door, barefoot, to press your face up to the peephole.

You don’t really expect to see the guy you just left, the ice in your glass not even melted before you were thinking up excuses to get out of there, but you sure as fuck don’t expect to see Jake either.

The door feels heavier than usual as you slowly slide it open, or maybe you’re just a little stunned. The night air hits your skin, and you can make out the sound of dogs barking in the distance.

For a long moment, Jake just looks at you, but then he says: “What were you planning on doing with that, sweetheart?”

You follow the jut of his chin down the line of your arm, and contemplate the knife for a second, Jake’s sudden appearance having made you forget all about it.

“I thought someone might have followed me here.”

“Ah.” He says, a spark in his eyes, clearly suppressing a smile. “If you were going to defend yourself in hand-to-hand combat, a knife is a terrible choice. I could give you some tips, though.”

Putting the damn thing down on your entryway console, you turn back to look at him. It’s not cold, exactly, in December in South Central Austin, but he looks underdressed: a long-sleeved light grey t-shirt, hands shoved in the pockets of a faded pair of jeans.

He looks good, you can’t deny it: he’s always had an immediate effect on you.

Jake, your somewhat gangly, sweet college boyfriend had it. Jake, ten years of military training later: older, filled out, fine crinkly lines starting to appear at the corners of his eyes (helped along by the California sun and God knows what far-off places), irrevocably still does.

You shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts. “What are you doing here, Jake?”

At that, his expression sobers, and he looks at you for a long moment before he says:

“You didn’t tell me.”

* * *

Fucking Sandeep, you think, rubbing the back of your hand across your eyes, because that fucker has not been subtle with the hints lately, tutting like a Victorian matron while you pass the time evaluating your Bumble matches with his husband during Monday night football’s ad breaks.

The granite of your kitchen countertop feels reassuringly cool beneath your thighs, and you take a deep breath, keeping your eyes on the tile below:

“I wasn’t ready.”

Jake huffs, or so you assume by the little sound that escapes him, as you determinedly face only his sneakers: “It’s been a year. You sure told everyone else we know.”

That makes your head snap up, emotion rising in your chest in a way you don’t like, have always had to tamp down when it comes to him, these last ten years. “Fuck off, Jake. You know it’s different when it comes to you.”

He leans back against the fridge, arms folded, just slightly lifting his right eyebrow at you in that irritating way of his: “I could’ve been there for you.”

Fuck it, you think, all cards on the table then. “I was heartbroken, and embarrassed, and trying to figure out how to exist on my own again after being married for five years to someone who didn’t turn out to be who I thought he was, Jake. Sorry my first impulse wasn’t to come cry on my hometown hero ex-boyfriend’s shoulder.”

His eyes soften, and he pushes off the fridge to come stand next to you, running his fingers over the edge of the countertop. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice quieter than a moment ago. “I’m being a dick. It’s just, you have to know, I would’ve been there for you.”

He pauses for a second, takes a deep breath: “It’s always been different when it comes to you too, sweetheart.”

You start to shake, a little, or maybe it’s your imagination. But your voice wavers as you say his name, everything about your tone a warning: “Jake.”

He closes his eyes, shakes his head: “Our timing sucked, and I don’t regret our decision from back then. I’m proud of who I’ve become in the last ten years, and I’m proud of you. You think I don’t keep up with what you’re doing? The articles you’ve published?”

This stuns you, momentarily. “No, Jake Seresin. If I’m completely honest, I didn’t think you gave a shit about the latest advances in Texas drought management.”

Just being near him, the familiar smell of him bringing up memories you’ve had years to unsuccessfully repress, is overpowering.

He makes it worse by turning to you, face so goddamn heartbreakingly earnest as he says: “I couldn’t give you what you deserved, ten years ago, but I always told myself, if I was ever in a position to…” He swallows. “I tried to forget about it when you got married, I tried to root for you and Brett, I swear.”

His hand settles next to your thigh, not quite touching, and your hand comes down on its own accord to cover his. He straightens almost imperceptibly, uses his other palm to wipe a tear that’s made its way down your cheek.

Cupping your face, he draws a deep breath. “I have a permanent assignment now, in San Diego. I know it’s…”

“Jake.” You interrupt, squeezing your eyes shut, grabbing the hem of his shirt. “I’m not remotely the same person I was back then.”

He moves to stand in front of you now, and you draw him in between your thighs. Suddenly it seems imperative that you feel him, that he holds you.

Dipping his head to yours, you can hear the smile in his voice, watery, tentative: “Then let me get to know you again. Get to know me again.” He leans one hand on the counter, the other tracing your cheekbone. “No pressure. I’m totally very cool about this. Whatever you want.”

You laugh, a little choked up through tears, but genuine. It feels liberating. “What if I say yes? How does this work?”

His smile broadens, eyes crinkling at the corners, and he’s so goddamn close, nudging your nose with his. “Come visit me, for a start. I’ll show you the sights.”

You draw him in a little closer still, legs wrapping around his waist, one hand finding its way into his close-cropped hair, and you could cry for how familiar he still feels after all these years.

But when you close the gap between your lips and his, it’s like coming home and yet not at all: he’s different and rougher and sharper and it floods you with emotion, something big and terrifying and old and new.

He leans into the kiss, grinning, cards his fingers through your hair before he moves to cover your chin, your brow, the space next to your ear with kisses, and you remember this with a jolt to your heart – how singularly intense it is to be the focus of Jake Seresin, like the strength of the sun is aimed at you, how he never does anything by halves.

You take his chin in your hand, kiss him again for good measure, before saying, into the stubble of his jaw: “One visit. No pressure.”

The grin he gives you in return could power half this city: “One visit. No pressure.”

He dips his head to yours again, kissing the skin behind your ear as he tells you: “Southern California has a lot of drought problems, you know. I’ve actually been reading some really scary articles about it.”

.

.

.

i hope you enjoyed :):) - if you liked this I hope you’ll check out some of my other work:

where the wild things are (rooster x reader)

cross my heart (hangman x reader) masterlist

[probablyasocialecologist]

We are living in a moment of serious gender revanchism in the United States. Feminists who self-define as “gender critical” and are otherwise openly transphobic will object to the comparison, but it is striking how much the movement to criminalize gender-affirming care for young people shares with the movement to criminalize abortion. Both find their fiercest champions in white, religious, conservative men who dismiss the evidence put forward by medical professionals that the treatment in question saves lives. Both claim to speak on behalf of silenced “children,” be they conveniently unborn or too young to be taken at their word. Both struggled to find widespread support until a father took his crusade on the road: abortion was not “an Evangelical issue” before Dr. Francis Schaeffer, a charismatic pastor, promoted his son Frank’s 1979 anti-abortion film Whatever Happened to the Human Race?; and anti-trans legislation was initially “hard to sell,” according to the Texas Tribune, until a North Texas dad named Jeff Younger built a sympathetic following online by accusing his ex-wife, a pediatrician, of wanting to “chemically castrate” their trans daughter. Texas Governor Greg Abbott’s order that citizens report parents of transgender kids to the authorities so that they can be investigated for child abuse echoes the section in SB 8 that rewards vigilante citizens for reporting abortion providers to authorities. Both movements have become central to the Republican Party’s strategy to raise funds and win elections. Not least, both movements have forced pregnant and trans people to prove, in preordained terms, their absolute certainty that they need the treatment they say they do. As the opposition puts up resistance in the form of misinformation, mandatory waiting periods, sonograms, and extensive psychological testing, patients lose precious time as hormonal processes they hope to forestall come closer and closer to transforming their bodies.

The experience of gender dysphoria is not identical to the experience of forced pregnancy, but it should not have to be for us to defend one another’s right to bodily autonomy as if it were our own. To respond to the heartbreak of losing Roe by further scapegoating trans people, as some cisgender feminists have done, is not only an unnecessary cruelty but a logical and political error that none of us can afford to make. There is no evidence to support the claim that inclusive language in reproductive health spaces “erases” or “harms” cis women, as Pamela Paul recently argued in the New York Times. (If anything, terms like pregnant people are more precise, as not all women are capable of pregnancy and not all pregnant people — e.g., cisgender girls under 18 — are women.) To say so anyway, with no basis in fact, is to do the far right’s work for them.

Dayna Tortorici, Your Body, My Choice The movement to criminalize abortion

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Rusty | Chapter 11 | S.R

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

A/N - Just an FYI - the fics being posted now were finished months ago. I haven't written anything for the fandom in quite a long time and at present have no drive to do so. Once Midnight and Rusty are finished posting that will be it from me for the forseeable. Thank you for coming along for the ride.

Chapter Summary - Spencer pushes through another barrier on his way to recovery. But when a face from his past shows up out of the blue it threatens to destroy everything between the two of you.

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - strangers to friends to lovers | angst | smut minors DNI

Warnings - male masturbation, Spencer’s incredibly dirty thoughts, brief mention of three ways, handjobs, oral sex (f receiving) and penetrative sex (both p in v and p in a) all by way of Spencer’s imagination (Spencer is basically writing his own smut fic in his head), self inflicted wounds, talk of weight loss, swearing, arguing, yelling, tears, sad Luke, bit of a cliff hanger ending. WC - 7.6k

Chapter 11 - All My Ex's Live in Texas

The sentiment, to be able to love someone we must first learn how to love ourselves, felt oddly poignant in this moment, as Spencer stood in his bedroom, in front of the full-length mirror tucked away in his closet. 

It wasn’t exactly a rare occurrence, he often gave himself a cursory glance before he left the lodge of a morning, giving himself a brief once over. 

It also wasn’t something he made a habit of doing. He kept the mirror inside the closet for the purposes of not having to look at himself for long periods of time. 

But this was for entirely therapeutic purposes. 

And the idea of having to love oneself before allowing others into our heart rang true in an entirely different way. 

Spencer needed to be able to engage himself physically before he could expect anyone else to do the same. 

It had been four days since his trip to Doctor Ortega’s office. In those four days the two of you had participated in a string of increasingly heavier make out sessions, three of which fervent enough to yet again cause Spencer to come in his pants, but as yet had not graduated onto anything more intimate. 

Yesterday the two of you had ridden your respective mares into Pipe Creek for Spencer to collect his new prescription and Doctor Ortega had caught him on his way out. 

She’d taken him aside and reminded him that in order to take back control of his own body, he had to truly own it himself before he frivolously tried to hand it over to someone new. 

And that’s what led him here. Standing in front of his full-length mirror, naked as the day he was born. 

The only part of his body that was concealed was his casted arm, he’d even gone as far as to remove the dressings from his bicep, thigh and stomach. 

The wounds were all at various stages of healing, scabbing over and starting to scar. They would all leave their marks upon his skin for the rest of his life, a constant reminder that he’d been to hell but was desperately trying to claw his way back. 

He focused on them for longer than necessary, trying to distract his mind from the task at hand for as long as he possibly could. You’d gone to the grocery store with Rusty and wouldn’t be back for a while. He had time for his introspective. 

He inspected each cut with a keen eye, taking note of how each brandished him, pictured what they’d look like once solid and pink against his alabaster flesh. 

This was not an activity Spencer relished. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked at his naked form in such a manner. It felt clinical. Yet another experiment. 

Spencer liked experiments so he tried to keep that in mind as he took himself in as a whole before slowly ingesting each individual facet that made the full Spencer Reid picture. 

Start at the top, work his way down. Cold, removed, distant. 

Still got a good head of hair, not like William. Good hair. Thick hair. No greys. Almost forty and no greys. That’s pretty good going considering the stress I’ve been under. 

Nice eyes. Friendly eyes, that’s what JJ called them. Or was it kind eyes? Nice no less. Brown with gold flecks mom always used to point out. 

Bags under the eyes aren’t so nice. When did they get so purple? I look like I’ve never slept a day in my life. 

Nose. Lips. Chapped lips, such dry lips. How does Y/N kiss me? Need to buy chapstick. Must remember to buy chapstick. 

Need to shave. Or do I? I don’t hate the stubble, it makes me look tougher. Wonder what Y/N’s opinion on it is? Maybe I should ask her. 

His eyes trailed slightly lower to his torso. 

Still so skinny. Didn’t I put on weight? Where did that go? Mom always says I look like I’m not eating. Have I been eating? When did I get this skinny?

Lost weight in prison. Couldn't eat after…my mouth was always too sore. Thought I’d put it back on. Did I lose it again? How? When? 

He raised his hand in absent-mindedness and ran his fingers along the visible bones of his sternum, protruding through his milky skin. He pulled a face and dropped his hand again, somewhat unamused. 

His eyes briefly flitted back over the cut on his left side, garnering his attention once again before flicking to his stomach. 

Definitely lost weight, but how? Hip bones are more prominent. Got one of those little v-cut muscles I was always jealous of on Luke. Did I get that from riding? It does require core strength. I’ve never noticed it before. 

He continued quickly past the appendage where his attention was supposed to be, down to his legs. He’d always had strong thighs, thick thighs but they were somehow even meatier than he remembered. 

Is that from riding too? Must be. Good legs, definitely not terrible legs. Sturdy. Load bearing. 

I’m stalling. 

He closed his eyes with a loud huff, feeling incredibly self conscious all of a sudden. Opening his eyes again he forced his gaze between his legs where his flaccid member hung in a bed of pubic hair. 

And here we are, the thorn in my side. The bane of my goddamn existence. My…

…it’s not gonna get hard if you berate it. 

He grit his teeth and stared almost aggressively at the length of flesh and muscle between his legs. 

Masturbation should not be this difficult. 

It felt forced. He wasn’t aroused, not even a little. On the occasions in his life he had turned to self pleasure, it was only because he was incredibly horny, which wasn’t a regular occurrence for him unless he was in the act itself. 

He’d never just sat and thought I’m bored, maybe I could jerk one off. What was normal protocol here? 

His new phone had the internet and he would probably be able to look up a porn site. But what porn? Spencer didn’t even know what kind of porn he liked. 

He found both men and women attractive, where would he even begin? In an ideal world, what kind of sexual desire would…oh…oh! 

He stared at his cock as it twitched very slightly, heart beat picking up at the simple thought. He kept his eyes trained downwards while he contemplated it again. 

I like both men and women, I find them equally attractive. Specifically one man and one woman so what if I could have both? 

Again he twitched, before his very eyes his cock started to swell. His mouth fell open, chest heaving with his breaths. 

Y/N and Luke? Together? And me. All three of us. Together. Touching. Kissing. Or I could just watch, I’d be pretty happy to watch. 

Again he was amazed by the sudden jerk of his shaft, swelling slowly but surely. 

Oh this could work. I think this might work. 

He wrapped his hand around his shaft without too much thought in case he might talk his way out of this. He was only semi-erect but the speed in which it had happened meant he could be fully aroused in no time. 

He kept his eyes open, trying to force himself to watch as he started his slow strokes but his mind was wandering quickly down a sinful rabbit hole. 

Standing over them while she straddles him, her bare thighs pressed against his bare thighs, taking hold of his hard cock in her hand. 

Hearing Luke moan as his Adam’s apple bobs at her touch. Her beautiful, petite hand, unable to wrap all the way around his shaft. But she tries, she tries so hard. She wants to make him feel good, wants to give me a show.

Luke’s looking up at me, his eyes blown out with lust. 

“Come closer, cariño, let me touch you.” 

Oh how I happily oblige. 

Whilst she’s stroking Luke I kneel on the bed next to them and Luke is immediately taking me in his own large hand. I moan and my head falls back against my shoulders at his touch. 

He strokes me in time with her strokes on him. The sound of flesh on flesh echoing in the room. Moans and heavy breaths. 

There’s another hand on my jaw, I look at her and she draws me in for a deep kiss. Her tongue explores my mouth while Luke’s hand pumps my cock. 

My other hand finds her breast and I knead it beneath my fingers, pinching her hardened nipple in my hand. 

Yep, that’ll do it. 

He was fully erect in his hand now, stroking himself at an almost furious pace. His hand twisted and tightened, staring at his cock in his own hand in the mirror. 

Laying on my back and she’s on top of me, lowering herself down, slowly, slowly. Inch by inch I watch myself disappear inside her silken walls. I can feel the way her body stretches and pulls around my hard cock. 

Luke is behind her, palming her tits, kissing her neck. She’s whining, moaning because she’s so tight and I’m so big. 

“How does he feel, baby?” Luke whispers against her flesh once I’m completely sheathed inside of her.

“Fuck, he feels so good.” She starts to rock back and forth on top of me, eyes staring intently down at me. 

One of Luke’s hands travels downwards, to the juncture where our bodies meet. His index finger pressing against her clit. 

She vibrates around me, sending shockwaves down my cock. The moan that leaves my lips is nothing short of feral. 

Frantically fisting his own cock whilst imagining the pleasures of being with the both of you and his head was already leaking against hand. He swiped his thumb through it, legs buckling a little at the sensation and using his precum as lube. 

He was gnawing on his lip, watching the way his cock throbbed in his hand. It was a heady sight to behold. He thought he’d be disgusted by it. Was it wrong that it turned him on more? 

He looked good like this, strong, virile, dare he even say, sexy? He felt powerful as he watched his face contort in the pleasure he was bestowing upon himself. His staunch thighs shook beneath him. 

His thick and heavy length pulsed against his palm. 

She’s on her back, legs spread for me. I leave a trail of kisses across her soft skin but I’m in a hurry, I need to get to my final destination. 

Once my face is buried between her folds, I lap up at her arousal before my tongue settles on her swollen bud. She writhes beneath me at the contact, trying to move away. But I stop her with an arm across her abdomen. 

She moans and screams as I take her in my mouth, suckling on her sensitive clit. Like a man possessed I work between her legs, like she’s my favourite meal. 

I can feel a heat behind me, and hands on my hips guiding me up onto my knees. I comply because I’m so wrapped up in the way she tastes on my tongue. 

Then there’s something pressing into me from behind, I’m being stretched but in the best possible way. 

As Luke fills me up I moan into her core, making her squirm. The sounds in the room are melting into the walls, the smell of sex is heavy in the air. 

Luke thrusts into me hard and fast and I take two fingers and plunge them inside of her waiting heat while keeping my mouth on her desperate clit. 

She’s rocking against my face, coating my lips and chin in her arousal as my fingers sink inside of her. 

Luke is grunting as he fucks me, filling me up in a way I haven’t been filled in so long. Between my legs I can feel my cock twitching, pulsing, close to the edge without being touched. 

“Oh fuck,” Spencer mumbled, legs trembling. “Oh Jesus fucking Christ.” 

More precum leaked from his tip, coating his hand as he thought of eating you out while Luke fucked him. His head was hazy, his breaths ragged.

“Fuck, Spence, I’m close. So close.” She screams as I plunge my fingers in and out of her and swipe my tongue over her clit. 

Luke’s thrusts are growing more violent, his balls slapping against my ass. 

“Make her come, Spence. You can do it, cariño.” Luke encouraged me and I pick up my speed.

Soon enough I feel her walls clenching around my fingers and she’s coming undone at my will. She’s convulsing beneath me and I know it’s all because of me. 

And as I feel her coming, moaning my name, my own orgasm starts to pinch at my stomach and I know it won’t be long before I’m…

…“fuck, fuck, fuck!” Spencer screamed as he gripped the base of his shaft and started splattering streaks of his come all over the mirror. 

He kept stroking himself through his orgasm, his legs undulating back and forth as he expelled himself on the reflective surface, covering his hand in his sticky seed. 

He watched every small movement of his body, his quivering thighs, his leisurely strokes on his spent cock, his chest dragging up and down with each shallow breath. 

His brain was foggy but his vision was exceedingly clear. He was fascinated by the way his body moved, how one small ripple in one muscle caused another to flex and so on and so forth. 

The contours of his body seemed so sharp in his post orgasm haze, every pull or push, every pulse, every dilation. 

He’d never looked upon himself with such startling clarity before as his shaft started to soften in his hand, it was all becoming clear.

This is my body. I can see it. I can feel it. My body belongs to me. My body doesn’t belong to anyone but me. 

I am whole. I am whole. 

I am Spencer Reid and I am whole. 

He was so lost in his newfound captivation of his own frame, he didn’t hear you enter the lodge or call his name. He also didn’t hear the bedroom door open or your footsteps on the wooden floor.

It wasn’t until your face appeared in the reflection behind him that he registered his company. 

“Uh, hi?” A smirk adorned itself on your features as you regarded him, soft cock in his hand and the distinctive come stains on the mirror. 

You couldn’t stop your gaze flitting up and down his body. You’d never seen him completely naked before, uninhibited, exposed. 

You tried to make a mental note of every dip and curve of his glorious body. He really was a sight to behold.

“Hi,” he replied, returning your smile. 

“Everything okay here?” 

He let go of his length, turned to face you. His pupils were blown out wide. 

“More than okay.” He nodded. 

And suddenly he advanced on you, smashing his lips against yours and not caring in the slightest that he was naked and sticky with his own come. 

He grabbed at you, pawed at you hungrily. His wandering hands got you out of your clothes in no time at all and soon the two of you were falling back to the bed. 

He was on top of you, kissing you with reckless abandon. He could already feel himself growing hard again between your bodies. 

His tongue desperately explored your mouth as though it were the first time, he manoeuvred you both so he was on his back and you were straddling him. 

He hissed as he got an unhindered sight of your breasts as you sat atop him. Needy hands wandered until they were palming them, pinching your nipples between his deft fingers until they stood to attention, not allowing himself to be impeded by his cast. 

You moaned and rocked back and forth on top of him, his hard cock gliding between your folds. Spencer whined and bucked against you. 

He removed his hands, letting his casted arm fall back to his side. His good hand circled around your wrist, gripping it tight and moving your hand so it hovered above his cock.

You stared at him, silently questioning him. Spencer simply nodded in response and let go of your wrist. 

You sucked in a breath, cautious as you lowered your hand closer to his throbbing member. When your hand wrapped around his base he moaned in fervour. 

His eyes rolled back into his skull, back arching off the bed. You slowly started to move your hand up and down around him but he was soon bucking into your hand, setting the pace for you.

His desperation was evident in the surges of his hips snapping back and forth fiercely. His teeth sunk into his bottom lip as his eyes landed on you again. 

He smiled up at you, the ethereal being perched on his thighs whilst working to bring him the utmost pleasure. 

He was whole. He was finally beginning to feel whole. 

***

It was getting late by the time the BAU finally wrapped up in Texas. Luke had agreed with Rossi that he would take one day off to visit Spencer before he joined them back at Quantico. 

Given the hour, Luke intended on getting a hotel for the night in Bandera town. He drove those forty some miles north from San Antonio in his SUV, fingers tapping nervously against the steering wheel as he tuned into a country and western radio station. 

The back seat was full of gifts and cards which Garcia had sent to the police precinct for Luke to deliver to their old friend for his birthday which was just a few days away. 

Luke’s nerves flooded his body, causing his stomach to form into tight knots. The closer he got to Bandera, the more anxious he grew, palms sweating against the wheel. 

He was under no illusion that Spencer would be happy to see him, especially with him showing up unannounced. But in Luke’s defence he had tried to call Spencer several times over the last few days to inform him of his visit. It wasn’t his fault Spencer didn’t answer. 

It was nearing eleven pm by the time Luke arrived in Bandera and try as he might he couldn’t get himself to the hotel. 

He couldn’t wait another minute. He needed to see Spencer now. 

He took the turning off the main road with the directions Garcia had sent him. He drove a little ways up a dirt track until he came to a stop next to another car. 

Killing the engine he frowned himself. He didn’t think Spencer had a car. He supposed he could have purchased one any time. 

He slid out of the SUV, dropping to the dirt and closed the door behind him. There was a small single storey lodge a few hundred yards up on the left. 

There was a light on. 

Luke swallowed, smoothing out his shirt and running his fingers through his hair. His chest swelled with nerves and his legs shook a little as he started towards the lodge. 

***

Spencer’s second orgasm seemed to come quicker than the first, your small, dainty hand bringing him to completion in no time at all. Chest heaving with his breaths, he immediately pulled you down by the back of your neck so he could kiss you. 

He was whole. He was whole. They didn’t win. 

He kissed you fiercely, his come sticky between your bodies but neither of you minded. His hand stayed on the back of your neck, pinning you to him. 

“You’re amazing.” He mumbled against your lips. 

“No, you’re amazing.” You replied. 

You wanted to tell him you were proud of him but you didn’t want to make a big deal of it or have him think you were patronising him. Instead you continued kissing him, grinding your bodies together as you did so. 

Spencer felt like every single one of his nerve endings were on fire. He was overstimulated, he could feel every thread of the sheets beneath him, feel every negligible movement of your body as it moved against his own. 

It was eye opening. He’d forgotten how this was supposed to feel. Intimacy wasn’t meant to make him feel guilty, pleasure wasn’t designed to cause him pain. 

He’d neglected to remember how it should feel. Two bodies coming together, becoming one. Becoming whole. 

He felt as though he could well be floating, his body lighter than air. He needed more. He needed so much more. He needed everything and he needed it with you. 

He gripped the back of your neck firmly, tongue roughly exploring the deepest recesses of your mouth. The sound of heavy breathing filled the room alongside soft moans and the friction of skin on skin. 

And for the second time that night, Spencer didn’t hear the door to his cabin open or the heavy footsteps on his hardwood floor.

***

Worryingly, Luke found the door to Spencer’s lodge was ajar, not quite closed all the way. His hand immediately pressed against the butt of his gun in its holster, ready just in case. In his experience, nothing good came from doors being left open. Least of all way out here in the sticks. 

He hesitantly pushed it open and took a step inside. The space was small and mostly full of books which didn’t surprise him at all. There were a few paper grocery bags on the kitchen counter. Nothing looked out of place or disturbed. 

He let his hand fall back to his side, trying to calm his erratically beating heart. Spencer could be scatty sometimes, perhaps he’d just been in a hurry. There was nothing to panic about. 

He stepped closer towards the closed door past the kitchen, for which he assumed was the bedroom. It was only as he drew closer that he started to register the sounds of heavy breathing.

His first thought was that Spencer might be having a panic attack. He’d had them a lot after prison, Luke knew all too well what they looked like. Perhaps he’d started to have one when he arrived home with groceries, it would explain why the door wasn’t closed properly and why the bags were still on the counter. 

Another wave of unease washed over him and he quickly pushed open the door without a second thought. 

The two bodies on the bed came into view and Luke felt as though the whole world came crumbling down around him in a single second. The body on top with their back to him was definitely female. The body beneath, laying on the bed was obscured from view but Luke would recognise those soft moans anywhere. 

“Wow,” he croaked out the single word as tears flooded his vision. 

Spencer suddenly sat up in bed, glaring at Luke over your shoulder. His mouth fell open, eyes wide in shock at the ghost standing in his doorway.

“L-Luke?” He stuttered. 

“Luke?” You hissed without looking over your shoulder. “As in…?” 

“Hmm.” Spencer nodded. 

You were still in his lap, trying to hide your naked frame against Spencer’s. You needed to leave. You couldn’t be part of this. You swung yourself off of the bed and in one swift move sprinted to the bathroom before you could give this stranger an eyeful. 

You’d left Spencer exposed and he quickly pulled the sheet around his body despite the fact Luke had seen him naked hundreds of times before. He hadn’t seen this version of him though, the one with the cuts and scabs from self abuse. He stared at Luke and Luke and him. Seconds seemed like hours.

He noticed Luke’s gaze flicker down to his arm and his brows pinched together.

“What happened to your arm?” Luke asked in concern. 

Spencer didn’t know whether he meant the cast or the cut on his bicep but he didn’t ask. 

“Riding accident.” Spencer clenched his jaw. “What are you…why are you here?” 

“We were in town for a case. I tried to call, you didn’t answer. The door was open and I thought something might have happened to you.” The hurt in Luke’s voice was palpable and Spencer felt a little guilty that he’d had to walk into this. 

“Uh, lemme get dressed okay? I’ll meet you outside?” Spencer chewed on the tip of his tongue, half thinking his overstimulated brain was imagining the man in front of him. 

Had he given over so entirely to his fantasy that it had begun to feel real? Was this all part of his vivid speculation? Was he in fact still masturbating in front of his mirror? 

No, it was all too real. The sadness in Luke’s eyes, the way his shoulders slumped with the weight of seeing his ex in bed with someone else. The way you’d so hurriedly scampered off to the bathroom. 

This was real life, even if it did feel like a nightmare. 

Luke nodded stiffly and turned about on his heels. Spencer watched his retreating form pad out of the bedroom and close the door behind him. 

Spencer got to his feet and started gathering up his clothes from the floor. He tapped on the bathroom door as he was fighting with his boxers.

“Are you okay?” He called when he got no answer. 

“Your ex is here, what do you think!” You hissed in response. 

“I had no idea he was coming here, Y/N. I didn’t invite him.” He was stuffing his legs back in his jeans, trying to ignore the way the fabric scratched his open wounds. 

“What the hell is he doing here then?” 

“I don’t know! I have no idea.” He grabbed his t-shirt whilst still working on the button of his jeans. “I need to deal with this, hopefully I won’t be long.” 

“Okay.” You whispered, hearing his footsteps head away from the door. 

He pulled the t-shirt down over his torso as he swung open the bedroom door. Through the window in the front door he could see Luke pacing the length of his porch. 

Spencer exhaled, raking his fingers through his hair in an attempt to tame it from his previous activities. He swallowed around his dry tongue and stepped towards the door. 

A frigid burst of air hit him as he stepped outside, joining Luke on the porch. Luke stopped in his tracks and glanced at Spencer. Even in the darkness he could see the tears in Luke’s eyes. 

“So, you’ve moved on, huh?” Luke folded his arms across his chest. 

“It’s been two years, what did you expect?” Spencer shrugged. 

He hated that even after all this time Luke could still cause all the air to leave his lungs. He looked much the same as Spencer remembered in his mind's eye that last time he saw him. He had an extra few creases around his eyes, a few more greys peppering his hairline, but otherwise he remained unchanged.

“What did I expect? Well for starters I expected more from you than leaving without a damn word! I expected that you wouldn’t completely cut me out of your life! I expected…maybe I hoped that I wasn’t the only one still pining like an idiot.” He choked back a sob. “So she gets the healed Spencer Reid? She gets to have you now you’ve worked through your trauma? When I was the one that spent a year by your side after, trying to help you? How is that fair?” 

“You think I’m healed?” Spencer’s voice raised a little. “You think I’ve worked through my trauma?”

“It looks that way to me. I seem to remember the last time I tried to get you into that position you pinned my arm behind my back!” Luke spat. 

“You have no idea what this is like for me.” Spencer shook his head angrily. “She is the first person I have been able to get close to and even still I’m terrified I’m only one second away from breaking down at all times. It’s been four years and this is the closest I’ve come to moving past what happened to me but I am by no means suddenly shiny and new. I haven’t had sex with her, is that what you want to hear? At this point I’m not even sure I can! 

“You can’t just show up here after two years and think you know what I’m going through. I have to take medication every day just so I am not completely crippled by my trauma. I blackout when the stress gets too much, I dissociate because my mind can’t handle the pain. Don’t come here and assume you know what I’m going through. You have no idea.” 

In the bathroom you heard raised voices outside and worried about Spencer’s rising anger and what could happen if he let it get out of control. You snuck back out and found your clothes, quickly redressing and creeping into the living room. 

From the kitchen you could see them through the glass pane in the front door without them being able to see you were watching. You told yourself you weren’t eavesdropping, you just wanted to be ready in case Spencer needed grounding. 

You tucked yourself away in the corner, eyes on the side of Luke’s face. You felt that swell of familiarity again that you couldn’t place. Your fingers kneaded your achy jaw as you listened.

“You were supposed to come back! I gave you time, I gave you space. I thought if I did those things you would come back and we would be okay again.” Luke rubbed his eyes to try and stem his tears.

“That’s not my fault, Luke. I didn’t ever give you a reason to believe that would be the case. I’m sorry I left without telling you, I know I should have said goodbye. But I can’t change that. This is my life now, I have no intentions of coming back to DC. I’m sorry if you thought that I would, but I never gave any indication that I would.” Spencer rubbed his hand on his jeans, focusing on the rough texture. 

He needed to stay tethered, he couldn’t let the anger bubble and cause his mind to detach. 

“Did you love me?” Luke’s voice pitched. “Did you ever really love me like you said you did?” 

You knew that voice, you were sure of it. You just couldn’t place it. 

“How can you even ask me that?” Spencer softened. “Of course I did.” 

“But it was easier for you to run away than try and make things work with the man you supposedly loved?” Luke exhaled. 

“I had to leave. After everything that happened, after Merva, it was just too much. I needed to get away from DC, away from it all.” Spencer sniffed loudly. 

“You could have talked to me instead of running away, Spencer. It’s what I was there for. But you never talked to me.” 

“I couldn’t talk to you, Luke. I couldn’t talk to anyone. I just wanted to forget.” Spencer’s eyes filled with tears and he rubbed his palm roughly against his thigh, focused on the material of his jeans. 

“You know I know what happened right?” Luke shrugged. “I know what happened to you in prison. I read the medical reports.” 

Spencer froze. His rampant rubbing of his thigh stopped, he felt like his breathing stopped. He glared at Luke while he processed his words. 

He’d read the report. He’d known all along. 

Inside your brows pinched together. Prison? Spencer was in prison? Surely you must have the wrong end of the stick? Spencer did not seem like the type. There must be something you were missing. 

“You…how could you?” Spencer croaked. “How could you do that to me?” 

“You wouldn’t talk to me. I was worried about you.” 

“Worried? You were worried? So you invaded my privacy? Those reports were not your concern Luke! I figured Prentiss would have to see them but you…I can’t believe you would do that to me.” Spencer’s voice raised again and felt the anger in his stomach. 

Deep breaths, take deep, calming breaths. One, two, three, four, five. One, two, three, four, five. Feel something beneath your hand, ground yourself. This will be okay. One, two, three, four, five.

“Maybe if you’d talked to me I wouldn’t have felt the need to.” Luke didn’t know why he was trying to justify himself, he knew what he’d done was wrong. “How did you ever get cleared to come back to work? You were clearly struggling.” 

“Oh please, we wrote those questions. You think after fifteen years of profiling I didn’t know the right things to say to the bureau shrink so she would reinstate me?” Spencer clucked. 

“Did you ever tell her you were ra-”

“Don’t you dare you say it.” Spencer cut him off. “Don’t you dare.” 

Your head was spinning with the new information. Prison. Profiling. Bureau? What did this all mean? Your cell phone was on the counter next to the bags and you reached for it before hiding back in your corner. The arguing continued outside while you brought up a Google search. 

Spencer Reid + bureau

Within less than a second, hundreds of search results popped up on the little screen, articles upon articles. You quickly skim read some of the search results as your hand shook around the device. 

The youngest academy graduate recruited to the FBI’s illustrious Behavioral Analysis Unit, twenty two year old Doctor Spencer Reid…

With his three PhD’s, and IQ of 187, SSA Doctor Spencer Reid was hand picked by BAU founder Jason Gideon…

After a high speed chase in Mexico the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit are on the scene. It’s thought that a member of the team is involved…

BAU Member SSA Doctor Spencer Reid acquitted of charges against him…

Hostage situation involving two members of the BAU…no further information is known at this time…

Your head swam. Your stomach lurched. This couldn’t be true, yet it was here in black and white. 

You were sleeping with the enemy. The sweet, kind cowboy you’d rescued from the desert was a former FBI Agent. 

Three PhD’s? An IQ of 187? Doctor? 

What the fuck was going on? You knew there were things he hadn’t told you but did you know him at all? And what led to an FBI agent going to prison? And what happened to him in prison that Luke had ascertained from his medical records?

You felt dizzy. You pushed yourself back up against the wall so you wouldn’t collapse. Luke’s raised voice brought you back around.

“You could have told me! I would have understood, I could have helped!” 

“No one can help me! Why don’t you understand that?” Spencer yelled back. 

“She seemed to be doing a fine job.” Luke scoffed, nodding his head towards the door.

“Goddamnit, would you let that go?” 

“Let it go? How the hell can I let that go? Every time I close my eyes I will see her on top of you!” Luke threw his arms up into the air. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be stronger, okay? I’m sorry I pushed you away. But I am finally starting to move past what happened to me. I’m sorry I couldn’t do that for you but Y/N is…she makes me feel like I can heal. And I need that Luke, I need to heal.” Spencer sniffed again, feeling his tears dangerously close to falling.

Luke didn’t appear to be listening though, his brows pinched together as he rolled something over in his mind.

“Did you say Y/N?” He rubbed the side of his neck. 

Your back went rigid. Hearing him say your name dislodged something distant in the back of your mind.

“Have you seen this woman? Her name is Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N and we have reason to believe she’s been seen in this area.”

“Yeah, why?” Spencer’s voice broke through your memory. 

“I…I’m not sure.” Luke looked deep in thought. “Can I…? One sec.” 

Spencer watched in confusion as Luke turned and headed down the stairs towards his SUV. He wrapped his good arm around himself in protection and to stave off the cold night. 

“Have you seen this woman? Her name is Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N and we have reason to believe she’s been seen in this area.”

“I don’t know nothing, ‘bout nothing.” 

“Can you take a closer look at her photo ma’am? Your neighbour seems to think she’s been staying here.”

“Again, I don’t know nothing, ‘bout nothing.” 

“Would you mind if we took a look around?”

“You got a warrant?” 

“No…”

“Then get the hell off of my property.”

Magnolia Springs, Alabama. Mrs Royce, the kindly old woman for whom your mother had been best friends with all throughout childhood. She’d offered you a place to stay after you escaped custody. That was until her nosy neighbour recognised you from the wanted posters. 

You’d buried your mom’s money under a tree in the wooded area behind her house and watched from a distance as two FBI Agents had come to her home to question her. Even though she hadn’t seen your mother in more years than she could count, Mrs Royce was fiercely loyal, and hadn't said a word. 

You hadn’t had a great vantage point for which to see the agents, only caught small glimpses of them from where you hid in the back of the house. But they’d introduced themselves as -

- Agents Phil Brooks and Luke Alvez. 

Luke was hurrying back from his car with a manilla folder and Spencer stayed stock still while he awaited him. Luke opened the folder and pulled out a sheet of paper which he proffered to Spencer as soon as he was close enough. 

“What is this?” Spencer frowned at the paper.

“Is this the woman? I only saw her from the back. She coulda changed her hair? Is this her?” Luke jabbed a finger at the photograph in the corner of the page. “She escaped from a max security facility a few weeks ago. Phil called me.” 

To Spencer’s credit, no matter how many years it had been since he’d needed to to use his poker face, he was still an expert at it. His expression didn’t even so much as flinch as he looked at the photograph of you on Luke’s printout. 

He was right, you had changed your hair. But it was without a doubt you looking back at him from that mugshot. He glanced away, back at Luke and shook his head.

“No.” He lied. “I’ve never seen this woman before.” 

Luke’s eyes narrowed in scrutiny, watching for any little twitch, any tiny hint that Spencer was keeping something from him. But the truth was, even though they had dated and Luke thought he knew Spencer better than anyone, he never could read Spencer. 

“You wouldn’t lie to me would you, Spencer? Because this woman is dangerous, and if you’re lying to me, that’s harbouring a fugitive. I don’t need to tell you that comes with a prison sentence.” Luke observed again. 

Even at the mention of prison, Spencer’s features didn’t change. 

“I’m telling you Luke, I don’t know this woman.” He waved the paper in front of him. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”

Your own brows pinched together. You peered out the window to see the paper in Spencer’s hand but it was too dark to see exactly what was on it. But you were certain he would know it was you in the photograph. So why was he lying? 

“Right, I’m just being paranoid I guess.” Luke huffed, snatching the paper back from Spencer.

“I think you should go Luke, it's late and you shouldn’t have come here.” Spencer returned his arm to its position wrapped around him. 

“I’m staying down the road for the night. Maybe we can meet tomorrow for coffee or something?” Luke tucked the file under his arm.

“No,” Spencer shook his head. “I don’t want this Luke. I moved out here for a reason, to get away from my life in DC. To get away from…from…”

“From me?” Luke croaked. 

“From everyone.” Spencer corrected him. “You will always have a place in my heart, Luke. I did love you but I’m not the same man I was when we started dating and I’m never going to be him again. You have to let me go, Luke, please? Please just let me go.” 

Luke wanted to argue, he wanted to argue with every fibre of his being. He didn’t drive all the way out here to have it end like this. 

But Spencer’s sad eyes and downturned lips forced him to bite his tongue. Spencer had been through an immeasurable amount of trauma and he was just trying to make it through to the otherside. Luke couldn't help him, he tried, but he’d failed. Perhaps the best thing for Spencer’s wellbeing was for Luke to walk away, to let him go once for and for all. 

Luke huffed a breath out through his nose and took a few steps backwards. He navigated the steps whilst never taking his eyes off of Spencer. 

“I wish it could have been different.” Luke’s first tear fell and he didn’t try to hide it. “You were the love of my life.” 

“I know.” Spencer scrunched his face up as he felt his own tears ready to escape. 

“But I wasn’t yours.” Luke spoke for him with a weak shrug of his shoulders. “I want you to be happy, Spencer, it’s all I’ve ever wanted. Just promise me you’ll check in? I’m not asking for daily phone calls or anything like that but please stop ignoring me when I reach out. I’d really like to still be a part of your life even if only in a small capacity.” 

“That, uh, sounds reasonable.” Spencer nodded. 

“And call Penelope more. She worries about you more than anyone.” Luke shrugged, still walking backwards toward the SUV. 

“I will.” He nodded, swallowed thickly. But he was sure if you were who he now knew you to be, he’d never be able to talk to any of his old team ever again.

He felt overcome with discomfort. The goodbye he’d avoided two years ago now here at his feet. Spencer didn’t like goodbyes, it was why he’d left without them the first time. 

Goodbyes were endings. Full stops. The closing of a book. Spencer had wanted to keep the story open, unfinished, just in case he ever had the impetus to write that final chapter. But it had been penned for him. Luke had snatched the metaphorical pen from his hand by coming here and effectively completed their story. 

“Uh, goodbye then I guess.” Luke shrugged as he reached the car. 

“G-goodbye, Luke.” Spencer whispered. 

The book slammed shut. Or perhaps it was the car door. Either way, Spencer Reid and Luke Alvez’s story had come to its bitter end. 

He stood on the porch and watched as Luke started the engine before putting the vehicle in reverse. He continued to observe as the headlights cast an eerie glow on his land as the SUV turned around. He still just stood there as Luke’s car took to the dirt track back to the main road and soon vanished from sight. 

He huffed out a breath, rubbed his eyes to disperse the tears before turning to the door and practically throwing it open. He marched inside and found you in the corner of the kitchen, back pressed up against the wall. You’d been listening, of course you had. 

Spencer stayed on his side of the kitchen counter, worried what he might do if he came too close to you. He needed the barrier between you. He slammed his good hand on the counter top but you didn’t even flinch. His eyes were manic as they looked at you, large and wild. His chest was heaving erratically.

He opened his mouth several times to speak but the words kept getting stuck in his dry throat. Minutes of painful silence stretched between you while you kept your eyes on each other. 

Eventually Spencer sucked in a sharp breath, his jaw set in a tight line when he finally spoke. 

“Who the fuck are you?” He spat the words like venom on his tongue. 

You straightened yourself, squared your shoulders as if it might somehow intimidate him. When you spoke it was with equal malevolence. 

“I was going to ask you the same thing, SSA Doctor Spencer Reid.”  

More silence followed, reaching out into the sparse caverns that gorged their way between you. The wicked talons of the unspoken words weaved around you, wrapping you both in their icy clutches. 

You were both acutely aware that whatever conversation was about to transpire between you would inevitably make or break this fledgling relationship. You were no longer who you had been just hours before. A lonely cowboy and a weary traveller no more. All that remained was an FBI Agent and a Fugitive. 

It seemed inescapable that this could only end in one of two ways -

Either he called the cops on you and you were thrown back in prison, having the key thrown away and left to rot for the rest of your life behind bars. Or one of you would wind up dead. 

And you were not going back to prison. 

@kalulakunundrum @small-and-violent @voledart @katrina0-0 @bakugouswh0r3 @prettyboyandthefangirl @zooni92802 @mavellover1819 @babyspiderling

[the-heart-of-leo]

Nick's so far under the bus that they might as well change the oil while they're under there.

Okay, because I'm a bit of a masochist and I have adblockers...

I'm going to count how many times James throws Nick under the bus:

@2:40 – 'This fell upon Nick as well, as a non-binary person on the ace spectrum, they wanted to include asexuality and non-binary representation to our videos. But because Nick's experience is not universal – There is no universal experience – people felt that we were delegitimizing their own experiences because we focused on Nick's.' (The reason we were acephobic was because we (meaning Nick) didn't think other ace people had problems and when it was pointed out to us by The Ace Couple that ace people did, in fact, face discrimination and conversion therapy, we (meaning James) accused them of homophobia and sicced their followers on them.)

@6:38 – 'The work Nick and I were doing on the channel...' (Because Nick was here too! Not just me!)

@10:46 – 'I was much more interested in the production of the videos than the writing of them, at this point. So after three or four videos, I brought Nick on as a main writer for the channel. The idea is that they would write the vast majority of the scripts. I would film, voice, and edit the videos and we'd split the money that came in.'(Nick was the main writer for the channel! In case you forgot...)

@14:40 – 'And then my mom died... and I became completely useless. I couldn't think straight, at all, so Nick had to completely take over writing duties.'(DID I MENTION NICK WAS THE MAIN WRITER. ALSO MY MOM DIED; FEEL SORRY FOR ME)

@19:44 – 'When Nick got back, he believed the script needed a first page rework. This was also when he told me he was going to be moving back to Ontario permanently soon as he wanted to live closer to family and live in a bigger city with more opportunities. This was a punch to the gut for me. We'd been living together since 2015 and had become quite dependent on each other. I felt like there was no way I could make this movie without him.'(We couldn't make the movie we promised because SOMEONE DECIDED TO MOVE and since I'm co-dependent on him, I moved with him and screwed up everything. Oopsie.)

@26:32 – 'But by accepting as many sponsors as we did, which became very important when Nick and I started living apart and suddenly had two rents to pay, we ended up needing to produce even more videos. Which, along with the work on Telos and making sure everything was okay with my dad while living thousands of kilometers away meant I had even less time for writing – putting more stress on Nick and leading to even more copy and pasting from me.' (See what you did, Nick?! We have to pay TWO rents now and we need to make even MORE videos. I'm not creepily co-dependent on my asexual ex-roommate at all!)

@32:50 – 'I know what misinformation had made its way into our past videos. That was not something we intended; in some cases it was information I was told by people I considered experts. In other cases it was information that we had researched. In other cases it was things that Nick had learned in university.'(Nick told me some of this stuff! ((which is fair because NICK ADMITTED HE DOESN'T DO RESEARCH)) In other cases it was because I assumed I knew what happened because I'm the smartest person I know so of course Lesbians had it easier! I just forgot that Radcliffe Hall's books were banned and destroyed because of that head injury I talked about earlier.)

And here's an honorable mention where the smug “I'm smarter than you” BS comes to visit:

'To those who say I plagiarized the plot from the novel Final Girl Support Group by Grady Hendrix – Read the book. It's nothing like the plot of the movie. And 'The Final Girl' is a trope in horror movies so if using the Final Girl trope is plagiarism then basically everyone who's made a slasher movie since Texas Chainsaw Massacre owes the Toby Hooper estate some money.'

So, much like how James doesn't understand why people aren't upset at him because of citation issues, he doesn't understand that it's not the fact that he's using the 'Final Girl' trope... it's the fact that he stated the book as a favorite of his and then... suddenly he's writing a movie about the aftermath of the Final Girl. And given the plagiarism, it can not be taken in good faith.

First off, if you just google 'First Final Girl', it just says Texas Chainsaw Massacre is one of the earliest examples. Another possibility for the 'First Final Girl' was actually Black Christmas which was released the same day in Canada so it is literally tied.

Secondly; the final girl trope is not required for slasher movies. One of the first 'proto-slasher' movies was actually Psycho so there were a few good decades between that and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (I could try and make a case that Lila Crane should count as a Final Girl; maybe even Mrs. Bates/Norman as a subversion... but I'm not that invested or interested.)

So... James was true to form, he just wanted to be a smug asshat and try and seem smart over something easily googled.

[mrsevans90]

Puppy Love

Captain Syverson x OFC Emma Miller Part 2

Summary: Austin Syverson has returned to Texas after retiring from the military and starts his own contracting business. Syverson is used to being alone and thinks he prefers it that way. While at work he stumbles upon an injured and abused puppy. When he meets the new veterinarian in town, Emma Miller, he is immediately smitten with her. It turns out Emma has some baggage of her own. Will they be able to make it work? Or is it just a case of fleeting puppy love?

Pairing: Henry Cavill as Captain Austin Syverson x OFC Emma Miller 

Word Count: 4,284

Warnings: Fluffy Sy, Abused animal, domestic violence, stalker ex-boyfriend, mention of nightmares/PTSD, smut in future chapters.

MINORS DNI! Must be 18+

I do not authorize any copying/pasting, stealing of my work, or using my words as your own. 

This story is not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

A/N: I am an imperfect person who makes mistakes. All that I ask is to please be kind and if you enjoy it then please comment and REPOST! I appreciate any love, comments, and reposts more than you could know. Thank you for reading! 

Part 1

I brought Mills with me to work and set him up in the shade while I completed the outdoor shed build. After the first few hours at home last night, he fully relaxed and I saw his personality come out which made me proud. He followed me all over the house this morning and since he hadn’t had any accidents inside I figured I wouldn’t push my luck and brought him with me. I also didn’t want him bothering Aika since she’s elderly and probably wants to sleep all day without being bothered. Mills really seemed to enjoy the car ride, especially when I rolled the window down half way for him to stick his head out.

I could barely concentrate on a damn thing at work all day, my thoughts radiating pure excitement about what was to come. Hopefully we both would be coming tonight, but if not I’m happy to take things as slow as she wants. I find myself wondering all about her and genuinely can’t wait to get to know her better. I’m shocked as hell she even agreed to come to my place tonight after meeting me all sweaty and nasty from work. The hours literally crawled and I was gonna punch Alex if he made one more comment about how “giddy” I looked. I pride myself on being able to stay stone faced as a military captain but Alex has known me our whole lives so he can read me a little better than most. I had let the steaks marinate in the fridge all day and was planning on cutting out at about 4:30 so I could grab her some flowers, get home and clean myself up before I started cooking. One of the best things about spending summers with my grandparents as a kid was that Nana taught me the basics of cooking. I would spend all day out on the ranch with PawPaw, and then he’d send me inside to help Nana shuck corn, snap peas, or whatever else she needed me to do. As a kid, I was more than happy to get a break from mucking horse stalls or repairing fences after being out in the heat all day, so I enjoyed coming back to the house and listening to the radio with Nana. I couldn’t cook anything super fancy but felt confident enough in creating a handful of meals so I could keep myself fed without constantly relying on takeout.

The doorbell rang as I was taking the dinner rolls out of the oven and Mills jumped up and ran to my feet after Aika grunted with disdain at the interruption of her nap. I knew it would take a bit before Mills got used to loud noises and new people. I took a deep breath and adjusted his new red collar with a bow tie included around his neck and headed to open the door. My breath caught in my throat as I took in the beauty in front of me. Emma was standing at the door wearing sandals and a stunning light blue sundress that matched her eyes while holding a cake tray and a pitcher of homemade sweet tea. Her long silky hair was in loose curls that cascaded around her breasts and her bright smile had my heart pounding in my chest. I let out a soft whistle through my teeth as I widened the door.

“Hey Sy.” She uttered with a nervous tremble.

“Damn darlin’, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” She said with a blush tint to her cheeks.

“Let me take those for you.” I reached for the items in her hand.

“Thank you. I made some sweet tea and thought you might like some and a pound cake for dessert.”

“Two of my favorite things. Three if you count yourself.” I said with a smirk and she playfully rolled her eyes as she followed me inside and shut the door for me.

“Your house is absolutely beautiful, Austin.”

“Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Look at you, handsome! Aren’t you just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen?” She said in her baby voice while crouching to Mills who was dancing around her feet much to my surprise. I figured he’d still be weary but he must have he remembered her. Or he just knew that she was a good person. Mama always said to trust a dog’s instinct about people.

“Why thank you.” I said jokingly as I walked into the kitchen from the foyer.

“I was talking to this handsome fella, but you look cute too.” She followed me and smirked as she eyed me up and down in my tight “nice” grey t-shirt and jeans.

“Nothing compares to you, sweetheart.”

“You are so corny.” She says with a giggle and I can’t help but laugh too.

“Does that bother you?”

“No, it’s endearing.” She responds. “He looks like he feels much better and his bandages are fresh. Good job. Oh, this must be Aika.” She says while holding her hand out for Aika to sniff who slowly makes her way over to her. Since being out of the military and with her old age she feels comfortable and safe in our house and very rarely growls like she used to with new people. I think she feeds off of me and knows that if I’m not anxious, she can relax. Aika shoves her head into Emma’s hand who quickly begins to scratch her neck and ears while cooing at her. Aika immediately drops and rolls over for belly rubs and I’m genuinely shocked. She only acts like this with me and my grandparents. She has never shown her belly to a stranger before.

“Well I’ll be damned.” I mutter and Emma looks at me inquisitively while perched on her knees scratching all over Aika’s belly.

“She’s a former unofficial military dog. I found her in Afghanistan and trained her while I was stationed there. She has never shown her belly for scratches to anyone other than me and my grandparents.” I explain. She smiles brightly.

“Such a good girl! I’m honored. Maybe others just don’t have the right nails for good scratches.” She says while playfully showing me her manicured hands. Think about those little hands around your cock. Damn my intrusive thoughts.

“Don’t go stealing my dog with belly scratches now. I might have to start requesting belly scratches of my own if you keep that up. She’s drooling on the floor.” I chuckle as I point to Aika who seems to be on cloud nine as her tail wags slowly and her leg begins to kick from the pleasurable sensation.

“We’ll see about your own belly scratches if you’re a good boy.” She whispers and I feel the blood shoot right to my cock. FUCK. I’ve gotta think of something else.

“I know traditionally I’m supposed to show up at your doorstep with flowers, and I couldn’t really do that with dinner at my place but I got you some anyway.” I said as I handed her the sunflowers in a thin vase.

“They’re stunning. One of my favorite flowers! Thank you.” She quickly pressed a kiss to my cheek and I swear I felt like a nervous kid again.

“What are your favorites?” I ask so I’ll know for next time.

“Well, peonies are my favorite but they can be hard to find. Hydrangeas and sunflowers are my other favorites.” Hmm. I’ll need to look for a place that sells peonies.

 “So, what’s for supper?” Y/N asks and pulls me from my thoughts.

“Salad, steak, potato wedges, green beans and a roll.” I point to each dish while scratching my neck a bit nervously. God, I hope she likes it.

            “Mmmmm. That sounds delicious. Anything I can do to help?” The sound of her moan is burned into my brain for me to replay later.

            “Why don’t you pour us some of that tea you brought while I plate the food.” I suggest and watch her turn and get started.

            “How was work today?” I ask as I set her plate down in front of her.

            “It was pretty good! Slower than yesterday. Someone brought in a cat that they had found hit on the side of the road and unfortunately it had already passed away which sucks. I tried everything but he was just too far gone.”

“Damn, I hate that. Didja find the owner?”

“No. It looked like a stray. No microchip or collar and wasn’t neutered. I just will never understand why people don’t get their animals fixed.”

“Neither will I. I hate to say it Mills, but enjoy your nuts while they last because as soon as your cleared for surgery we are getting those snipped. No baby mama drama for you. Sorry pal.” I say with a chuckle while looking at my new buddy with a nervous grin.

Emma giggles brightly at the face I made at him. “So, how was your day? I don’t think I even asked what you do for work.”

            “I own my business, Syverson Contracting. That’s why I was so sweaty and gross when I brought Mills in yesterday. We’ve been working on remodeling a house and I was building a garden shed for the owners when I found him. I finished it up today but we’ve got a little more work to do inside the house.”

            “Wow! I saw the sign for your company but didn’t put two and two together. That’s incredible. I can’t imagine how cranky I would be if I was out in this heat all day every day.”

            “Eh, I’m used to it. This has nothing on the desert, although the humidity is a bitch. I don’t mind it too much. I like building things and working with my hands. Plus, the projects change enough that I don’t get bored which is nice.”

            “I’m sure it’s rewarding to take something old and broken and essentially make it new.”

            “Definitely. That’s the best part. I uh, I started here with this house. When I left the military, I loved the land but the house was falling apart. Figured I had nothing better to do so I’d do it myself and learn as I go. The plumbing was all busted and the roof had a ton of leaks. I essentially ripped it down to studs and rebuilt it.”

            “Wait, I didn’t realize that! So, when I said it was stunning, it’s all because of you.” I smile at her astonishment.

            “You flatter me. I appreciate it. Rebuildin' this house is what made me decide to start my company. I have zero interior design skills though so I know I need to change furniture and maybe get some art or something on the walls but I’m honestly clueless about all of that. Need me to build a bathroom or repair drywall, I’m your man though.” I chuckled.

“Well, I thought about doing interior design for a bit in college, but ultimately the animals won my heart. If you ever want help, I’d be happy to try.” Damn, she’s perfect.

“Darlin, you’re going to make me fall in love with you if you keep talking like that.” I wink at her.

“So corny.” She shakes her head and giggles and I just can’t help but laugh with her. I could listen to that sound over and over again.

We continue to talk throughout the meal where she asks me how I learned to cook and I explain all about my grandparents who own the farm near the country store off of county road 55. She tells me all about Alabama, how she went to the university on a cheerleading scholarship and I have to keep myself in check before my mind starts wondering if she’s still flexible. We talk just a bit about the military, finding Aika, and I can’t help but notice her squirm a bit when she finds out that I was the Captain for the special forces. After we finish eating, she stands up and cuts up the pound cake that she made from scratch. I groan as I take a bite of the dessert and she bites her lip as she watches me.

            “Where do you think you’re going, darlin’?” I ask with cake still in my mouth as she gets up carrying our empty dinner plates and walks to the sink.

            “You cooked, I’ll clean. It’s only fair.”

            “No ma’am. You’re a guest. Put those down!” I say as I swallow my bite.

            “No way, Jose.” She crosses her arms and cocks her hip out. “If you want me to leave the rest of that cake here with you, you’ll sit down and let me clean the dishes.” I grunt at her. Sassy little thing.

            “I’ll let you load the dishwasher. Fair?”

            “Fair, but I’m still handwashing these two pans.” Emma says as she sticks her tongue out at me and begins washing the pans.

            “Woman, you are something else.” I smirk at her and ogle her body in that dress while she has her back turned towards me.

            “Where’d you learn to bake like this?” I ask her pointing towards the cake as she dries of the pans with a dishtowel.

            “My best friend and college roommate’s grandmother. She lived about an hour from our apartment and she would come visit about two times a month and stock our fridge with all sorts of things. She knew that pound cake was my favorite so she gave me the recipe even though it was only given to women in their family. She’s essentially my Nana too now. She has given me lots of recipes but that’s my favorite. I enjoy baking, it feels like less of a chore than regular cooking.” She says with a smile.

            I lead her to the living room and offer her a beer which she accepts and we spend the next hour talking about our lives. She tells me a bit about her family, which consists of just her mom and dad. They still live in Alabama and she’d like them to move out this way but they're resistant to leave the comfort of familiarity. She was extremely close with her grandparents but they have all passed on as well. I explain how my dad took off when I was two and remarried and my mother raised me until she passed after battling breast cancer when I was a teenager. I told her about my older brother Mark who lives in Tennessee with his pregnant wife, Jenn, and my two-year-old niece, Lucy.

            “So, you’re telling me you left everything and everyone you know back in Alabama just because you got the vet job here in our little town? I find that a bit hard to believe darlin’.”

            “What’s so hard to believe? Maybe I just needed a change.”

            “You sure you’re not running from something? Or someone?”

            “Damn you for being so intuitive. I thought military men were just supposed to follow orders blindly and not think?” She deflects with a giggle and I know from her tone she’s just playing with me.

            “You couldn’t be more wrong about that, sweetheart. Remember I’m a Captain. My whole job relied on me reading situations and people. I ain’t gonna to push you to tell me if you don’t want to, though.”

            “It’s no big deal. Essentially, my ex-boyfriend was cheating on me. I caught him and learned it had been going on for several months before I found out. His name wasn’t on our apartment lease since he had moved in with me so I kicked him out and he wasn't happy about it. I had to get a restraining order when he showed up and broke in through the window after I had the locks changed. It was quite the talk of the town since his mistress is the assistant principal for the local elementary school. Ultimately, I just got tired of hearing the whispers and gossip while also feeling like I needed to watch my back. I needed a change of pace anyway so, here I am.”

“That fucker.” I muttered while shaking my head.

“Yup. Not the first time I’ve been cheated on either so I guess you could say that I don’t have the best track record with men.” She shrugged.

“I’m sorry he treated you that way. He fucked up and then had the audacity to break into your home? God, I hate dipshits like that.”

“I always felt super safe in that town before and now it just feels… tainted? I guess? Turns out, a little piece of paper doesn’t keep people away. In his case, it just pissed him off more. His uncle is on the police force there so he felt like he was untouchable.”

“He showed up again after the restraining order?” She nodded while looking at her hands.

“Did he… Damnit Emma I said I wasn’t going to ask and I certainly don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but did he touch you? Hurt you?”

“It’s in the past, Austin. I’m here and I’m safe now. No use dwelling on it. It could have been worse. I was lucky, honestly.”

“What do you mean you were lucky?” She sighed and fiddled with her fingers.

“He showed up after being served the restraining order when I was coming home from work and slapped me around a bit.. I tried to defend myself, and I did for the most part. Ultimately, he busted my lip, and shoved me into a wall outside of my apartment. My neighbor happened to be home, heard the screaming and called the cops. I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything so I got lucky. Just wounded my ego a bit.” She shrugged like she was fine but I could tell she was still afraid.

“Fuck, sweetheart. That’s not lucky. You still got hurt. Come’re. Can I hug you?” She nodded and I pulled her to my lap and hugged her tightly.

“You are safe here. If you ever feel scared or anything, please tell me. I want to protect you.” She’s tense as I hold her and I hear her sigh.

“I’m not some damsel in distress, Austin. I’m fine. You don’t have to concern yourself with it. I left my problems in Alabama. I don't want to be the girl that everyone pities anymore.”

“I don’t have to do anything and you aren't someone I pity. I admire your strength and I want to concern myself with you. I really like you Emma. Like I can’t get you off of my mind. I ain’t trying to come on too strong and I know we just met but I want to get to know you in every way. The thought of you being scared to just go about your life makes me sick.”

Emma relaxed in my arms and buried her head in my neck as she tightened her arms around me. “I want that too. I mean, um, I like you too and want to get to know you better.”

“S'alright if I kiss you?” I normally wouldn’t ask but I don’t want her to startle her or make her uncomfortable.

She nods.

“Words sweetheart.”

“Kiss me.”

The words barely left her lips before I pressed mine against hers as my hand caressed her jaw. I felt her tongue swipe against my bottom lip asking for entry and I quickly granted it where she deepened the kiss. I groaned as her tongue stroked my own and I tasted her mouth. We kissed until we were both breathless and she pulled back before pressing her forehead against mine.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t you apologize fer’a thing. You’re in control here, not me. This only goes as far as you want it to and believe me, I am more than happy just to sit here with you. Just looking at you and talking to you is all I need. I just want you to know that. I won’t pressure you now or ever.” I told her while looking into her eyes and she smiled.

“You’re too good to be true.” She whispered.

“Nah darlin’, I’m just decent person who values women and know that you don’t owe me a thing. I’m just enjoying being in your presence. That’s all I need from you. You decide the pace.”

She nods at me with a smile.

“I’m sorry that you’ve not been treated right before but I’m happy for the chance to do so.” I tell her while tucking her hair behind her ear. Emma leans down and kisses me again. We sit on the couch with Emma in my lap making out for a little while longer before Mills whines at the door to go outside. 

            “That is my que to get up and let you get back to your night.” Emma said quietly and I want to protest but she interrupts me. “I’ve got to be at work early in the morning anyway.” She stiffly climbs from my lap and I flush as I can’t exactly hide my raging boner but I quickly try and adjust myself so it’s not as noticeable.

            “I sure wish you didn’t have to go. I really enjoyed tonight. Feelin' like I’ve barely scratched the surface at all the things I want to know about you.”

            “Me too.” She shyly pecks my lips after I open the door and both of the dogs bound outside. I motion for her to step outside the back with me so I can keep an eye on Mills and I wrap my arm around her shoulder.

            “It might be clingy as fuck to ask this, but I’m a grown man who is not interested in playing games. Can I see you again tomorrow darlin’? Unless you’ve got plans of course.” Emma curls against me and rests her head against my chest.

            “Seeing as I only know like four people in this town, including you, I’ll have to see if I can pencil you in.” She smarts and I tickle her ribs.

            “Little smartass.” I chuckle and she giggles back.

            “What did you have in mind?” She asks.

            “Dinner at the Italian restaurant in town?”

            “Gia’s? It’s the best food I’ve had since I moved here. The owners must pity me after seeing how many times I’ve called for takeout from there just this month.”

            “We can get something else if you’re tired of” Emma interrupts me.

            “No! it’s so good! I’ve only ordered take out so I wouldn’t be the pitiful newbie that eats alone. I would love to go there with you, Austin.”

            “It’s a date. Text me your address. What time ya want me to pick ya up?”

            “5:30 still okay?”

            “That’s perfect, angel.”

            I whistle through my teeth for the dogs to come back in and Emma chuckles when Mills sees Aika coming straight back to me and clumsily attempts to follow her. We pet the dogs for a minute before Emma puts her shoes back on and grabs her purse. I grab her waist and gently press her up against the front door.

            “Now, I’m gonna walk you to your car here in a second but I needed one more of these before we are in public.” I bend down to kiss her passionately as she wraps her arms around my neck. I gently pin her with my hips against the door as her nails lightly scrape across the back of my head and I grunt. After a few more seconds of kissing her, I slowly pull back.

            “That may just be my new favorite thing, sugar.”

            “You call me that and I immediately think of Mrs. Clayton’s yorkie.” She giggles.

            “Nah, you’re much sweeter than that little yappy shit.” I say with a grin as I run my thumb across her cheekbone before pecking her lips again.

I carry the vase of sunflowers when I walk her out to her car and am surprised that it’s a nice almost new black jeep wrangler. I was too consumed with looking at her when she arrived to notice. She observes me looking at the SUV and smiles.

            “Like it?”

            “I thought veterinarian’s drove Audis and Mercedes.” I say and she rolls her eyes.

“Not this veterinarian. I love my Jeep. Driving around with my top off and the music blaring is a form of therapy for me.”

“I’m sorry, I think I had a stroke when you said “my top off” and didn’t hear anything else.” I joke.

She quickly pushes my arm. “You would only focus on that, pervert!” She giggles. I clutch my chest pretending to be hurt.

“Ouch, darlin’. You’re wounding me with the name calling.”

“You’ll survive.” She retorts with a wink.

“Let me know that you get home safely?” I ask and she nods before standing on her tiptoes to place one more chaste kiss to my lips before climbing in her jeep. Damn, I love seeing a little woman driving a big SUV and I can’t explain why. Just does something to me. Maybe it’s a size kink foreshadowing how much I’d like to see her little petite frame against my much larger one.

“See you tomorrow, Austin.”

“Looking forward to it, sugar.”

I walk back inside my house and for the first time since I renovated it, the house seems empty, like it’s missing something vital. Her. It’s missing her and the brightness I felt while she was here. Fuck, one date and she has me wrapped around her finger. She’s got me envisioning a future that I never thought I’d get to have.

Part 3

Taglist: @shellyshellshell @henryownsme @caramariehurst @beck07990 @mollymal @kingliam2019 @syversonswife @identity2212 @starfirewildheart @hannah9921 @wa-ni @kneelforloki @cutedoxie

[drewharrisonwriter]

On the Mend - Ch 1: Not Today

No Outbreak Joel Miller x Female Reader

Read this on AO3 | On the Mend Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Summary: You were having a really, really bad day in the midst of the scorching Austin summer, and seeing your ex boyfriend, Joel Miller, is the last thing you need.

Word count: 829

A/N: (EDIT 09/17/2023) Okay so I heard ya'll! LMAO and decided to turn this into a mini-series. Not sure exactly how things will play out for these two, but I've written a part 2 and decided to call this mini-series On the Mend. LOL hope you like it. This is a one-shot for now, not sure if and how to continue this. I just got this idea recently and wanted to write it.

The merciless sun bore down as she parked her car. The Austin summer had been relentless, and today, it seemed as if even the universe was conspiring against her. 

It had been a thoroughly miserable day. Work had been a disaster; she'd spent hours redoing half of a project her co-worker had botched because she was still hungover from the previous night. 

The Texas summer heat, relentless and unforgiving, only added to her misery. As if fate had a personal grudge against her, she realized she'd left her house keys on her office desk when she was already halfway home. 

She sighed in defeat and turned her car around to retrieve them. All of this was compounded by her lingering morning sickness, a term she found deceptive as it had resurfaced with a vengeance upon entering her third trimester. She had naively believed she had bid it farewell for good when she'd crossed into the second trimester.

"Whoever called it morning sickness should be shot for lying," she grumbled, attempting to quell the rising nausea that threatened to surface.

Dressed in biker shorts and an oversized t-shirt she kept in her car for emergencies, she got out and beelined to the frozen aisle for a popsicle stick and savored the brief respite offered by the melting ice cold treat.

She sighed in relief and grabbed a pushcart. Her only mission in the store was to grab some Oreos, pickles, and frozen pizza to satisfy her cravings that were so intense, she literally cried in the car on her way over. 

As she rounded a corner in the store, she was suddenly face to face with the last person she wanted to see: Joel Miller. 

Great. She thought to herself. Couldn't have been on a better day. 

Ah, Joel fucking Miller.

The man who had once been the love of her life.

The same man who had taken her on the most memorable first date she'd ever experienced, and had filled the past five years of her life with the kind of joy she'd never known before.

But this was also the man who made it clear to her months ago, after five whole years of being together and living together for three, that he has no plans of marrying her and having a family with her. 

She and Joel were arguing at the time when he said it. 

--

In the midst of their emotional clash, she couldn't help but speak her mind, her frustration boiling over. 

"Joel," she began, her voice trembling with pent-up feelings, "if you get mad at every damn little thing, what's going to happen if we were married? That's not the life I want, and it's not the husband I need."

Joel's eyes flashed with anger as he retorted, "Of course it’s not! And who told you I was going to marry you?" His words cut like a knife, and she felt her heart shatter into pieces. 

"We never talked about it, what put the idea into your head?" he continued, his tone harsh and unyielding. 

Her jaw went slack in shock, as tears welled up in her eyes as she choked back her emotions. 

"But I thought we--," she whispered, her voice barely audible, she couldn't even continue her thoughts when Joel cut her off.

"No." He barked. "You knew from the start that Sarah is my priority. Always was and always will be. I'm not going through the whole marriage thing again." And have our hearts broken all over again when you realize that we're not what you want, he wanted to add. But instead he allowed the silence to linger. 

Silent tears slipped from her eyes but she did not respond. 

Instead she stood up and went into the closet and started packing. So be it, she told herself as she zipped the last of her bags before going into the bathroom to hastily shove her toiletries into another bag. 

She stopped when she pulled one of the lower drawers open. The positive pregnancy test sticks under her box of tampons glared at her, and for a brief moment she contemplated telling Joel. But when she heard the front door slam shut, she pulled herself together and shoved the sticks in the bag as well. 

--

That was seven months ago and she hasn't seen nor heard from Joel since. 

Their eyes met for a moment before his gaze fell upon her very round baby bump. Acting on instinct, she hastily placed her handbag in the shopping cart, a futile attempt to hide it from him, though it didn't do much given the fact that she looked like she had tucked an entire watermelon under her shirt.

She grimaced, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. When she locked eyes with him once more, she began walking backwards, her eyes not leaving him and before he could say anything, she had rounded the corner and all he heard was, “Nope. Not today!”

Next Chapter 👉🏻

[winchesterwild78]

The Ranch pt 7

Master List

Characters: Jensen-cowboy, single dad, x Reader-city girl moved to country to get away from it all

Warnings/Theme: Fluff, wedding, mention of pregnancy and pregnancy loss, more fluff

A/N: A short little story featuring our favorite green eyed cowboy, not an actor in this, lives on a ranch in Texas, is a widower with 3 kids. Reader is a city girl who moves to the country to get away from her ex and start a new life. She takes a job on the ranch and things develop between her and the cowboy. Internal dialogue in italics.

So much love and thanks to @cheynovak for the idea. ♥️ All work is my own. No disrespect to anyone, this is a work of fiction. Real names are used, but again this is a work of fiction. Do not take my work

*This series is now complete*

Minors DNI 18+

Jensen had the kids sit down so you two could share the news with them about your engagement. You were equally excited and nervous. Especially with Arrow. “So guys, you know Y/N and I have been dating for awhile now. I love her and she loves all of us. Earlier today when I picked her up at the hospital I wanted her to know how much I love her and how I never want her to leave us, so I asked her to marry me and she said yes.” 

The kids looked between you and Jensen and then at each other. JJ was the first to speak, “Does that mean she’s going to live with us forever?” Jensen chucked and shook his head yes. 

Arrow looked over at you, “Are you going to be our mommy now?” You took Arrow’s hand and said, “Honey, I will be your step-mom. I am not trying to take your mommy’s place. I love the three of you like you were my own children, but I do not expect you to call me mom. That’s 100% up to you. Daddy and I want you to call me whatever you’re comfortable with. So you can call me Y/N, Mama Y/N, Mama, whatever you decide.” Arrow nodded, “Can I think about it?” “Of course you can, honey.” 

The kids all agreed they were happy you and Jensen were getting married. When they left the room you let out the breath you were holding. Jensen wrapped you in a tight hug and kissed your lips. “I love you so much, Y/N. You are a natural with them. Thank you for not only loving me, but loving them too. It’s more than I could ever have ever asked for.” You pulled him closer to you and snuggled into his chest, “I love you too, Jens. You guys make it easy to love you. I hope it was okay. I told the kids they could call me whatever they wanted. I don’t want them to feel like they have to call me mom.” “Sweetheart, it’s perfectly fine. I want them to be comfortable too.”

You took his hand and pulled him towards the kitchen, “Come on baby, let’s go cook some dinner.” The two of you went into the kitchen and worked together to make dinner. About 30 minutes later you were calling the kids down for dinner. The five of you sat around the table talking about the upcoming holiday, what the kids were most excited about, and other topics the kids brought up. The conversations were always so easy. 

With Christmas about a week away, the kids were especially good. You thought it was funny how their behavior shifted. Jensen told you it was normal because they wanted Santa to visit. 

“Hey, sweetheart, you haven’t told me what you wanted for Christmas.” Jensen said as he pulled you in his arms. “That’s because I have everything I could ever want, I have you and the kids. That’s all I’ll ever need.” You placed a soft kiss on his lips, “Besides, you’ve already given me this.” You showed your engagement ring. 

Jensen kissed you and smiled. “I guess I could always give you the wedding of your dreams, anything you want and it’s yours.” “Jens, this wedding should be the wedding of our dreams. It’s about us, not just me.” Jensen laughed, “You’re not going to let me spoil you are you?” You laughed, “Nope”. Jensen playfully rolled his eyes. “I love you so much, Y/N, and I’m thankful every second you’re okay.” “I love you too, Jensen, and I am too. I couldn’t leave you guys. I love you all too much.”

*Time Jump Christmas Day*

You fell asleep in Jensen’s room after several rounds of love making with him. You woke up to the sounds of little voices in the room and feeling them jumping on the bed. “Wake up daddy, and Miss Y/N! It’s Christmas!!” The three excited children were laughing and jumping up and down on the bed. “Alright guys, calm down. Head to your rooms and we will be up in a minute.” Jensen’s gruff voice boomed. The kids jumped down and ran out of the room giggling. 

Jensen rolled over and smiled softly at you, “Good morning, beautiful, and Merry Christmas.” “Good morning, handsome, and Merry Christmas to you too. I can’t believe I fell asleep here last night. I’m sorry.” Jensen cupped your face and placed a soft kiss on your lips, “Don’t be. You’re going to be my wife soon, so why not move in here with me? This will be our room. The kids were not bothered by it one bit, and neither am I.” 

“You really want me in here with you, Jensen?” “Yes, I do, more than anything.” You smiled and agreed to move your stuff in the room. “Anything you want to change in here, feel free to. This is our room, and I want you to be comfortable in it.”

You heard the kids in JJ’s room telling you two to hurry up. You and Jensen laughed. “Come on baby, the kids are waiting for us.” He said helping you out of bed. The two of you got dressed, and you went downstairs to turn on the Christmas tree and get the camera ready. You wanted to take pictures of the kids as they came into the room. 

Jensen and the kids came into the living room and their faces were beaming. You snapped pictures of them opening their gifts. You smiled seeing the joy on their faces. You handed them the gifts you had made for them and you held your breath. 

When you had family pictures made, you took pictures with each of the kids individually. You had the photographer take those photos and one of the family shots and digitally include Danneel in them. The ones of the kids and you, you had the photographer, place her on their other side. Those you had framed and that was one of your gifts for the kids. 

They opened the gifts and squealed in delight. Jensen’s eyes watered as he saw the pictures. The kids hugged you and told you they loved the pictures. You showed them the family picture, it had Jensen, you, the kids and the photographer added D into it as well. You told the kids you had her added, because she will always be a part of the family. 

After presents were opened and the kids took their gifts to their rooms, you told Jensen you had one more gift for him. He smiled, “Sweetheart, you’ve already given me everything I could ever want.” You handed him the package, “Just open it, Ackles.” You smiled. 

He opened the carefully wrapped gift and his eyes went wide as he thumbed through the album. “Damn baby, these are so good. You are absolutely gorgeous in them. The last one, where you’re wearing a veil and white lingerie, was a special one, because you had planned to wear that on your wedding night. You chose this picture as a little tease for Jensen. “This one is my favorite. He held up the last picture. I can’t wait to marry you.” “Me either baby.” He pulled you into a passionate kiss. “Thank you for these, they’re incredible.” You blushed and smiled, “You’re welcome.”

*6 months Later*

You were standing in your bedroom adjusting your dress and veil. Your wedding day finally arrived. You had been so nervous leading up to the wedding you were barely getting any sleep, and at times you were nauseous. Your best friend told you it was pre-wedding nerves. Jensen had stayed at his friend Jared’s house the night before the wedding, and his wife, Gen was in the wedding. 

The kids were running around laughing and playing as you finished getting ready. You had asked JJ and Arrow to be in the wedding as maids of honors, and you asked Zep to walk you down the aisle. He was excited he got to see you in your dress before Jensen did. 

Jensen and Jared were in the guest room downstairs getting ready, while you were upstairs. You were shaking and another wave of nausea hit you. Gen came in as you started vomiting. “Honey, are you okay?” She asked as she walked in the bathroom. “Yeah, it’s just nerves. I’ve been really nervous about the wedding and I’ve gotten sick a few times over the past few weeks. It’ll pass.” You stood, smiled at her weakly and brushed your teeth.

Gen looked at you “Y/N, are you sure you’re not pregnant? Being nervous about the wedding shouldn’t have been making you sick for a few weeks.” You looked at her thinking about the baby you lost, and how you haven’t been able to get pregnant since, you hung your head as tears pricked your eyes. “No, I don’t think I can even get pregnant anymore.” “Well, let’s find out. I happen to have a pregnancy test in my bag.” You laughed, “Why do you have one in your bag?” She laughed, “I tend to keep one on hand for myself or my friends. Now come on, let’s find out if a little Ackles is on the way.”

She handed you the test and you went back into the bathroom, closing the door behind you. After you finished taking the test, you washed your hands and stood at the sink for a minute trying to steady your breath. It would be so amazing if I was pregnant with Jensen’s baby, but what if I can’t give him a baby. What if I am pregnant but can’t carry the baby to term. Would he leave me? 

So many thoughts invaded your head. Gen gently knocked on the door, “Y/N, you okay in there?” You opened the door and Gen saw the tears in your eyes. “Hey, it’s okay. Everything is going to work out.” She pulled you into a hug. “Gen, what if I can’t have his children, or carry his baby to term. I know he has 3 already, but I want a baby with him. I’m afraid I can’t give him that.” Your tears fell freely down your face. 

Gen held you tight, “Shh, it’s okay. If you can’t get pregnant, it’s okay. Jensen loves you no matter what. Now, let’s push those negative thoughts away, and finish getting you ready while we wait.”

Gen helped you finish your hair and veil, and then your timer went off. You took a deep breath, “Gen, I don’t know if I can look at it, can you?” She shook her head yes and went to look at the test. Gen walked out of the bathroom and over to you. She threw her arms around you and hugged you tight. Your heart was beating wildly in your chest. “Guess we better switch out your alcohol tonight.” 

You looked at her confused, then it hit you, “Wait, does that mean..” Gen smiled and shook her head, “Yes! You’re pregnant, Y/N!” “Oh my god! I can’t believe it.” You both cried and hugged. 

A little while later it was time to start the ceremony. The girls and Gen walked down the aisle followed by you and Zep. Jensen was standing at the end with tears in his eyes as you walked towards him. You smiled and held Zep’s hand all the way to Jensen. 

Jensen took your hands in his and leaned over, placing a soft kiss on your lips. “You’re so beautiful.” You smiled and blushed, “Thank you baby. You look incredible, Jens.” The ceremony continued and soon you were saying your “I do’s” with tears streaming down your face.

You couldn’t believe how your life had turned out simply by making one choice to take a job at a Ranch. You had no idea when you drove into this town you would meet the man of your dreams, fall in love with him and his children, get married and have his baby, but here you were, standing hand in hand with this incredible man who was now your husband. 

Jensen practically dragged you up the aisle when you were leaving. The whole way the two of you were giggling like teenagers. Since the wedding and reception were on the ranch, you and Jensen ran upstairs to your room to change into your reception clothes. Jensen was going to wear a nice button down shirt and his black jeans, and you were going to wear your short, white lace dress. Of course both of you had to wear boots to complete your outfits. 

When Jensen pulled you into your room he pushed you against the door kissing you and helping you out of your dress. “Jens, we can’t, we have a ton of guests waiting on us.” You giggled and panted out. “Oh come on, they won’t miss us.” He smirked. “Oh no, no one will miss the bride and groom.” You laughed. 

“Thank you, Y/N.” Jensen said as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you. You looked at him puzzled, “Thank you for what?” “Thank you for making me believe in love again, for loving me and my kids, for giving me everything I could possibly want in life.”

You smiled at him, “You’re welcome. I love you.” “I love you too, darlin’.” As the two of you started to get changed another wave of nausea hit you, sending you running to the bathroom. You brushed your teeth and came back out looking up at Jensen. 

“Sweetheart, maybe we should see a doctor. You’ve been sick for a while. It’s starting to worry me.” Jensen said with concern in his voice. “Yeah, I should see a doctor. I’ll make an appointment soon, but Jensen I need to talk to you.” Jensen sat on the bed looking a little concerned, “What’s going on baby?” You took his hands and then took a deep breath, “Jensen, I’m pregnant.” Jensen sat on the edge of the bed looking up at you with wide eyes. His mouth was slightly open but he was silent. 

“Jensen, honey, please talk to me.” Tears pricked your eyes. You instantly started to panic. “You’re pregnant?” Jensen’s voice was low. You started to tremble and tears started to fall, “I’m sorry, Jensen. I didn’t mean for this to happen.” Jensen stood and pulled you into his arms, “Shhh, no, honey it’s okay. It’s more than okay, it’s amazing. You’re pregnant! You’re having my baby! We’re having a baby!” He pulled you flush to his body and kissed you. 

“So you’re not mad?” You asked. “Mad, why would I be mad, Y/N this is the best news ever! We’re actually having a baby?!” You shook your head yes, “But let’s not tell anyone yet. I want to just be careful.” Jensen nodded his understanding, “Come on baby. Let’s get back to the party. God I love you! I can’t wait to welcome this baby into our family.” Jensen kissed your lips again and the two of you walked into your reception hand in hand. 

*8 months later*

You were standing in the kitchen cleaning up from breakfast. The kids were upstairs cleaning their rooms and making their beds, Jensen was out tending to the animals. You dropped the towel you had been drying the dishes with and let out a frustrated huff. 

“Shit! Ugh! I can’t bend over and grab the damn towel.” You huffed loudly. Suddenly behind you was a stifled chuckle. You turned around and saw your husband’s green eyes staring back at you. He leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed laughing in amusement at you and your overly large belly. “What’s so funny, Mr. Ackles?!” “You are Mrs. Ackles.” He laughed as he walked up and kissed your lips and then your belly. “How are my babies doing today?” He asked as he rubbed your belly. “We’re fine. I’m ready for him to come out and stop kicking my ribs, and I’m sure he’s ready to be out and have more space. You turned to the side, “I don’t think he has any more room. I swear he’s going to be the height of a toddler.” 

Jensen laughed as he bent down to grab the towel for you. “Here baby. Why don’t you go rest and I’ll finish the dishes.” You nodded and Jensen helped you to the couch. You were incredibly uncomfortable and due any day now. Your due date was about a week away, but the doctor felt he could come at any time. 

You were thankful the baby was healthy and he was active. Every kick or movement brought with it a rush of relief, because you knew it meant he was okay and still alive. Jensen knew how anxious you were so he was thankful his son was overly active.

Jensen and Clif had spent countless hours getting the nursery ready, and you and the kids put the crib together and decorated the room. They were so excited you were having a baby, Zep was even more excited because it was a boy. 

You were sitting on the couch watching your shirt move with every kick and you placed your hand on your belly. You laid your head back and closed your eyes, savoring every movement. Arrow came into the room and looked at you, “Um, Mama, can I feel the baby too?” Your eyes shot open, she’d never called you “mama” before and you were shocked. Jensen heard her too and looked at you and smiled. “Of course you can, baby, come here.” Arrow sat beside you and you took her hand and placed it on your belly. Pressing gently to make the baby kick. When he kicked she laughed. 

She hugged you and leaned down to your belly, “I love you baby brother, I’m gonna teach you so much.” She hugged you and kissed your cheek and left the room. 

The tears you’d been holding back began to fall. Jensen sat beside you, “She loves you so much. I can’t believe she called you “mama” , that's incredible.” “I know. I’m incredibly thankful she trusts me enough for her to call me that. I can’t believe it. I love them all so much, and this baby boy is the luckiest little guy ever. He’s got such an incredible dad and three amazing siblings that are going to love him so much.” “He also has an incredible mother who would do anything to keep him and his siblings safe.” 

Jensen pulled you into his arms and kissed you. “I love you, Y/N.” “I love you too, Jensen.”

A few days later you woke up early. It was about 4am and you of course had to pee. One thing you wouldn’t miss about pregnancy was the constant need to pee. You went to the bathroom and used it. As you crawled back into bed you felt a sudden rush of warm water run down your leg. You quickly realized your water broke. 

“Jensen, honey, wake up. My water just broke.” Jensen was half asleep, “I can go get you a new one. Hang on a second.” He said groggily. “No, honey, my water broke, I’m in labor.” Jensen’s eyes shot open and he looked over at you, “What?! Are you sure?”

You nodded yes. Jensen jumped up and started to get dressed. He called Clif and he and his wife were going to come watch the kids while you two went to the hospital. 

You changed out of your wet clothes and grabbed a towel to sit on in the car. Jensen grabbed your bag and as you were walking down the stairs, Clif and his wife came in. He hugged you and kissed your head, “Go have that baby. Good luck sweetpea.” “Thanks Clif, and thank you both for watching the kids.” His wife hugged you and told you good luck. 

Jensen helped you to the car and ran around to get in. As he drove you to the hospital, the contractions started to get worse. Jensen hated seeing you in pain. He held your hand the whole way there. 

As he pulled into the hospital, the contractions were about 3 minutes apart. He ran and got the nurse and a wheelchair. By the time you got into the room the contractions were right on top of each other and the pain was worse.

The doctor came in and checked you and said you were ready to go. You took a deep breath and looked at Jensen with tears in your eyes. “I’m so scared Jensen. What if I’m not a good mother?” Jensen rubbed your head and kissed your forehead, “Shh, you’re already an incredible mother. He’s going to fit right in with our other three and you are going to do an amazing job with him, just like you do with the other three.” 

He kissed your head as the doctor said it was time to start pushing. After about 45 minutes of pushing, you delivered a healthy baby boy. He weighed 8 lbs and 9 oz, and was 22 ½ inches long. Jensen beamed with pride and you cried when you heard his sweet cry for the first time. 

Jensen was able to cut the cord, the nurses wrapped him in a blanket and put him on your chest. Jensen leaned down and kissed both of you. “He’s perfect, baby. Thank you for giving him to me.” You looked down at your son and then back to Jensen, “Thank you Jensen for him and our other babies. Thank you for loving me.” 

Jensen took pictures and sent it in a text to family and friends: 

Jensen: Y/N and I would like to introduce you to our son, Austin Ross Ackles. He weighed 8 lbs and 9 oz, and was 22 ½ inches long. Mom and baby are healthy and happy. We are so in love. 

Congratulations texts and phone calls steadily came in. You and Jensen had decided no visitors in the hospital, so the three of you could bond. It was planned for Clif and his wife to bring the kids the next day to meet Austin before you all headed home, but for now, You and Jensen would get to spend the rest of the day staring at this beautiful life your love created. You were now more than ever grateful to have taken the job on The Ranch. 

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[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - More Than I Do Now

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x Reader

Requested���

Word Count: 2k

Warning(s): none!

Bold and Italic is song lyrics

Just italic is like.. flashbacks of sorts?

—————————————

Shoulda known what I was getting in

Fallin' for a boy from Michigan

You love your mom like every Midwest kid

You like driving to Texas

You put up with all my exes

To deserve you, don't know what the hell I did

“Just put that down at the end of the table, honey.” I lowered the glass of wine from my lips, watching Jack help his mother set the large wooden table outside. Jim was on the back deck grilling burgers, kept company by Trevor. Quinn and Luke were playing croquet with Cole.

It was a beautiful summer day. Jack and I had spent most of it tanning in the front yard. Despite his energetic tendencies, he did enjoy laying with me in the sun. Anything to aid his appearance. Vain, but perhaps not in a bad way. Jack valued his looks.. there was nothing wrong with that.

When Ellen and Jimmy showed up, the whole lot of us spent hours in the living room catching up. Ellen and Jim only had three kids, but one would be none the wiser with the way they talk to their boys’ friends. They were parents to anybody and everybody their kids liked. I found it to be the same with myself.

Jack set down a bowl full of fruit, peeking up from where he stood to look at me. He still didn’t have a shirt on. The boys usually ate without much clothing at all at the lake house. I wondered if Ellen would get on them for that today.

I watched Jack look toward his mother, saying something I couldn’t hear from where I sat, in my boyfriend’s wooden lounge chair. Ellen nodded, they crossed paths and stopped only momentarily so the woman could kiss her son’s cheek. Then Jack grabbed a piece of fruit and waltzed his way over, a dorky smile on his face.

“Watermelon?” He offered, and I leaned forward as he lowered the sweet snack to my lips. I took a bite out of the chunk of fruit, and Jack popped the rest into his mouth.

I can't love you anymore

I can't love you anymore

I can't love you any more than I do now

You can try to talk me down

But I can say without a doubt

I can't love you any more than I do now

Jack was a Diamond in the rough. Especially when it came to Jersey.

The first time we met, he had been all over me in a bar. I let it slide because he was cute. Perhaps I let too much slide when he took me back to his place. But there, I met his brother, and if not for Luke asking me to stay when the morning came around, Jack and I never would have been together. I had the youngest Hughes to thank for our relationship.

Jack sat in the grass next to me, and I moved my arm from the armrest of the chair, resting my hand on the back of his sunburnt neck. I placed my glass of wine down on the opposite arm rest.

“Dinner almost ready?” I asked, watching his head turn to look up at me. Through those dark lashes. With those big blue eyes. The same ones I admired endlessly.

I fell in love with him even more every day. Since day one.

Bring me coffee every morning

People said there’d be a honeymoon phase. That it would end. That we’d go through hardship. I wouldn’t admit it out loud, per superstition, but I knocked on wood any time I thought, ‘that never happened.’ Sure, Jack and I weren’t perfect, but we never gave up on each other. We never chose something over the other. Jack was my rock, and I was his.

The first morning we spent together showed me the type of commitment he had, that I never would have seen in him from a one night stand.

“Hey, Lu.” Jack and his wild hair had passed by me completely in the kitchen. Luke mumbled a, ‘hi,’ before retreating back into his own room with a bowl of cereal. When Jack turned to look toward the door, only then had he noticed me.

“Hey.” A surprised look faded into a delighted smile. I smiled back.

“Hey.” I spoke in a sing-song tone.

“Hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Coffee?”

We spent that morning leaning into one another seated at the island, sipping on our customized mugs full of caffeine.

We spent the next two weeks going on dates before we finally made it official.

You're fun even when you're boring

“Can we do something?” I muttered as Jack threw his weight against my side, leaning into me like a cat seeking attention.

“No.” His big old smile never ceased to make my heart flutter. His mischievous eyes watched me as he slowly leaned further, until he was laying across my lap. I broke into a fit of quiet laughter, resting my hands atop his stomach.

“Jack.” I complained, inching one of my hands beneath his shirt, only for him to jump at the cold feeling.

“Quit!”

We didn’t have to do much to be satisfied with one another.

And you like me even when I've been a bitch

Like said before. We weren’t always perfect. Sometimes Jack got on my nerves, and sometimes I got on his. Especially during my period. It’s no excuse to be mean, but when one has a bad day, they’re prone to be irritable.

“Jack! Just fuck off!” He’d been trying his hardest to help from the moment the sun rose. He was doting and caring, but admittedly overbearing. I didn’t have the heart to tell him until I couldn’t handle him, until I simply couldn’t do it any more. He looked hurt, confused, lost, but Jack simply stopped talking and laid down next to me in bed. Cuddling was the one thing I’d actually wanted that day, but Jack had been in and out so much trying to find a fix, that I felt I hadn’t been able to ask for it. He turned onto his side and pulled me back into his chest. He grabbed the heating pack from the bed and rested that over my stomach as well.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“S’okay.” Jack kissed my shoulder.

Always so understanding.

You watch me while I'm gettin' ready

You lighten up my heavy

You're so good lookin' it kinda makes me sick

“How does this look?” I turned to Jack, wearing the fifth outfit of the night. Correction, the fifth one I had tried on. Jack sat on the bed, his phone face down in his lap, eyes raking me over for the thousandth time.

“Good.”

“Jack,” I whined his name, my head falling into my hands. “I can’t go- I just won’t go.”

“Hey, hey. Woah.” I lifted my head when I heard Jack stand, his hands finding my hips immediately. “Baby, you look beautiful in this. And you looked beautiful in the last four outfits too.” Jack reached for my hands, squeezing them and pressing them to his chest. “You’ll be the prettiest woman in the room.”

“Are you sure?” I sighed, still uncertain. Jack was always there to reinforce my foundation when it cracked.

“I know. For a fact.” He leaned in to kiss my forehead, and it caused me to smile. “What about me?” He asked with a playful grin.

“You look pretty good too.” I removed one of my hands from his own to smack his ass.

Jack’s innocent laugh that followed was one I’d never forget.

I can't love you anymore

I can't love you anymore

I can't love you any more than I do now

You can try to talk me down

But I can say without a doubt

I can't love you any more than I do now, aye, aye

“How’s that ring feel?” Jack asked, pulling me from my trance. I looked back down at him and smiled.

“Feels perfect.”

“You like it.. yeah?” He’d only asked that question a million times since the night he proposed days ago.

“I love it, Jack. You picked a perfect ring.”

“Mom helped.” I moved my hand from the back of his neck to run through his hair.

“Why don’t you sit here so I can see you better?” I asked, gesturing toward the arm of the chair. I didn’t really care about seeing him, it was more so about kissing him. Jack slowly stood up and parked himself on the arm of the chair, looking down at me.

“Better?” He asked. I reached upwards and rested my hand beneath his jaw, guiding his lips to my own.

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

You're the angel to my devil

We broke apart when I felt something fall into my lap. One of those heavy croquet balls. I glared at Luke.

“Fuck off, blondie.”

“Woah- babe!” Jack’s shocked tone amused me.

The pot to my kettle

“You wanna go?” Luke teased.

Jack and I both looked at him immediately.

“Let’s get him.” Jack spoke, practically reading my mind. Luke’s eyes went wide.

“Good idea, Jack-O.” I agreed.

“Never mind- forget I said anything.” Luke held his hands up in surrender. He’d fight his brother any day, but he knew better than to fight Jack when Jack was fighting in the name of my honor.

To some I might be an acquired taste

Jack started to get up.

“Wait hold on-“ I grabbed Jack’s arm. He looked down at me in confusion. “Let him think you’re still mad. Psychological torture will harm him more than a few bruises.” The brunette looked down at me with concern and adoration in his eyes.

You tell me I'm your favorite person

Hey, what we've got is working

And the years have only made it more that way

“You’re so amazing.” Jack spoke in a playful yet dreamy tone, leaning in once again to kiss me. I pulled away after a moment, smiling up at him.

“I love you.” I whispered.

“I love you too.”

I can't love you anymore

I can't love you anymore

I can't love you any more than I do now

You can try to talk me down

But I can say without a doubt

I can't love you any more than I do now

“Alright, kids!” Jim finally called hauling a plate full of burgers off the deck and down toward the large picnic table. The boys all seemed to drop what they were doing to find their places at the table. Jack stood up, and our hands met almost instinctively. I brushed my thumb across the back of his hand as we found our way toward the table. I couldn’t see myself spending my summer any other way.

“Alright. Everybody get situated.” Ellen put her finishing touches on the table before she and Jim took seats at the head of the table in fold-out lawn chairs. Jack and I sat across from one another, closest to Ellen. Then the food started getting passed around. Jack and I quickly got swept up in the surrounding conversations, eating and enjoying the company of those we valued most.

Heaven knows that I've attempted

“Alright, who wants dessert?” The sun had begun to set, and the once depleted energy immediately spiked at the mention of sweets. Ellen stood up as the boys all chimed in with various versions of, ‘yes.’ Like dogs, they all watched Ellen disappear inside. Jack was the first to turn back.

Couldn't even put a dent in

There were those blue eyes.

He flashed me a smile.

I blew him a kiss.

I can't love you any more than I do now

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[talesfrommedinastation]

My Redneck Neighbor Doug Watches 'The Bad Batch Season 3' Trailer

Like all the other Star Wars geeks, Doug cut out of an important Zoom meeting with his work to watch the latest trailer of Daddy Warcrimes 'n Friends last week.

Cue ,y poor phone exploding as he commented on everything, and my director giving me weird looks--because the depity CEO was too busy watching it too and the actual CEO was busy playing video games on his phone. Yes, I work with adults with graduate degrees.

Here's what Doug texted me. Enjoy!

Need a refresher? Here's List 1 and List 2 of what Doug calls the cast of this show.

----------------------------------

Looks like they’re on a mountain pass. Wait ain’t that the truck they used on Kashyyyk? Is Chewbacca on it?

Aw, Church Lady’s back! Hope Sassy Park Ranger’s in the back seat getting the guns loaded and the Slim Jims ready! (I’m not correcting him. Let the man have his rarepair).

Little Orphan Blondie, Stepsister Beth and Daddy Warcrimes are all in the same ugly ass uniform. They all giving me Nurse Ratchet vibes. Didn’t Daddy Warcrimes have a lobotomy or something? 

THE SONS OF ROBOCOP ARE EVERYWHERE!!!!

The Emperor is mumbling again to Jimmy the Scientist but hey the Imperial guard and their cool ass red robes are around. I wonder how often they clean them? You ever read 'Shadows of the Empire'?

Rex seems smaller, is something up?

NUTSY GOT A FLAMETHROWER! GO NUTSY GO!!!

The Chick That’s In Everything AND Gun Safety Muppet are back?! Oh boy! What about Chewbacca? Chewbacca Junior?

Ryan-from-Accounting’s dead, yeah, we know. He’s coming back as Space Gandalf, we know, shut up, we ain’t stupid. 

OH SHIT DAYTONA’S GETTING INVADED. HIDE THE COCAINE AND THE SUSHI!!!!

Oh shit, Little Orphan Blondie’s behind the wheel! Is that the HMS Search Warrent she's on? I don't think so?

Is that a dog? AW HELL YEAH MUTANT JIMMERS* ON THE PROWL!

Julio’s worked up and he’s gonna do something!

HOLY SHIT, JOHN’S-EX-WIFE IS IN THIS??!?!?!?**

*= Jimmers is Doug's very handsome poodle mix from East Texas. He's 80 lbs of golden happiness even if he keeps murdering the raccoons in our alley. It's okay, they were living in sin, according to Doug.

**=New character unlocked! Asajj Ventress = John’s-Ex-Wife? Who is John? What did his ex-wife do?!?!

Tagging Doug's fans: @amalthiaph @merkitty49 @eyecandyeoz @autistic-artistech @eelfuneral @sued134 @techs-stitches @megmca @thecoffeelorian @skellymom @cdblake1565

Remind me if you need to be tagged in here for Doug-isms.

[cowgurrrl]

Too Close

Pairing: rockstar!joel x actress!reader

Author’s note: this isn’t exactly where I wanted it to be but I still like it (ps fic named after this song)

Summary: “Why, get you gone! Who is’t that hinders you?” “A foolish heart, that I leave here behind.” A Midsummer Night’s Dream Act III, Scene II, Lines 318-319 [2.5k]

Warnings: arguing, language, tumultuous co-parent relationships, the l word, allusions to substance abuse, vague depictions of a panic attack, brief description of disassociation, poor sleeping habits, fictional situations of survivor’s guilt/traumatic events, this one’s a doozy y’all

Joel ushers you into his bedroom and quickly closes the door behind him like you two are sneaking around and don't want to get caught. You bite your thumbnail as you think, replaying the brief moment you saw Angela over and over again. He stands there, hands on his hips, and takes a deep breath. You don't know where to start. Two hours ago? Last week? Twenty years ago? Time seems to collapse between the two of you.

"If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me. Not Sarah." He says as if getting pissed at Sarah was even on your radar. 

"I'm not gonna get mad at her. She's a kid," you scoff. The fact that he even had to specify that makes your skin crawl. At what point during your relationship have you made it seem like you would ever be angry with her? "How long have you known?" You ask the million-dollar question, and he sighs, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Sarah reached out to her a couple of months ago, and she responded. I didn't think she'd actually show up."

"How long is a couple of months?" 

"She emailed her before we left for New York." He says, and you have to sit down on the ottoman at the front of his bed to catch your breath. You bury your head in your hands and fight the tears stinging behind your eyes. Your knee bounces with unspent anger and anxiety, and your heart hammers in your chest. 

"So, the entire time I was telling you everything about my past and showing you where I lived and trusting you for the first time, you were in contact with your ex-wife?" You ask, but he doesn't say anything. You look up to stare at him, and he shakes his head.

"I didn't think she'd actually come into town." 

"That doesn't matter, Joel! You should've told me!"

"I didn't know if we were even anythin' before we went to New York, so it didn't feel important." He says like it's your fault, and you raise your eyebrows at him. You walk over to him, fire in your veins and venom choking you as all your frustration spills from you.

"Oh, is that why you fucked me? Because you didn't know and wanted to try something? Wanted to see if I was worth keeping around?" You ask. "Because you seemed to have a pretty good idea of what we were when you stuck your tongue down my throat, so please tell me what revelation you had that made you think you didn't have to tell me you were talking to the woman who left you with a baby."

"I didn't want to ruin our time together."

"Well, it's pretty fucking ruined now, isn't it?" 

"You don't get it!" He raises his voice, and you throw up your hands in defeat as he turns his back to you. You groan and rub your face, looking up at the ceiling in hopes that some sentient being will smite you right then and there.

"Then, explain it to me, Joel." You say, and he shakes his head as he faces you. You think of the young Joel you saw in the picture you saw two weeks ago. The Joel who was a single dad working construction to afford formula for his daughter. The Joel who was in his early twenties and divorced and scorned. The Joel who wrote one of your favorite songs and released it alone, not knowing what his future would hold. That Joel is hard to find when you look at him now.

"She's sober. She has a steady job in Texas. She's finally gettin' back on her feet. I've been tryin' for eighteen years to get her to even pick up the fuckin' phone, and now here she is, and she's better. This could be a chance." 

"A chance for what?"

"For us to be a family or, at least, for Sarah to have a relationship with her." He says, and you nod, biting the inside of your cheek. You’re not family. You’re an outsider, someone to hang around until Mom gets to come back and take what’s hers. You’re not permanent in the grand scheme of his family.

"Do you still love her?" 

"What?"

"Do you still love her?" You repeat slowly. He gives you a look before running his thumb over an invisible ring on his left finger. It might've been a nervous habit, but you saw it. You saw the way he flinched when he felt skin instead of metal.

"I…" he starts. "I will always have love for her. I-"

"Oh, my God." You can't even stand to hear the rest of his sentence. You push your hair out of your face and start pacing.

"She's Sarah's mom!" He yells.

"And she left! She left and didn't give a shit about either of you, Joel! And now that you're famous and have money, she suddenly checks her inbox?!"

"You don't know what you're talkin' about." 

"Apparently, I don't know a lot," you say. He softens momentarily as the words hang in the air, and you shrug. You furiously wipe at your eyes as unauthorized tears roll down your cheeks. "I trusted you. I let you into my life. I told my fucking parents about you. Do you know how hard that was for me? Do you know how many years I spent protecting myself from this exact situation? But I trusted you not to do that. I," your voice catches in your throat, and Joel rushes over to put his hands on your arms. You know he's trying to rub his hands up and down your skin to soothe you, but you push him away, stumbling back from his touch. "I don't know where to go from here. I don’t know if there’s even anywhere for us to go after this.”

"We can work through this. We just needa talk bout it and figure somethings out, but we can move forward."

"No, we can't." You cry, and he gives you a confused look.

"Honey, look at me. Yes, we can."

"The contract is ending early. Apparently, your team is fucking ecstatic with how things are going and decided you don't need me anymore. That's what Melanie came to tell me before I fired her," you laugh, wiping your nose on your sleeve and letting out a sharp exhale. "I should've fired her a long time ago, but I did it today because she said I shouldn't be with you. It was my last straw, and I thought that not having any auditions or work lined up would be okay because this morning, I believed in us so hard that I was willing to endure that. I let myself make the stupid choice to be happy for once because I-" You cut yourself off. You can't even bear to think the words, let alone say them out loud. Joel stares at you with big watery eyes, but you can't find it in yourself to feel sorry enough for him to comfort him.

"I have to go. I can't be here right now."

"Please, just wait," he begs, and you shake your head, pulling your jacket closer to your body. He might've tried to say more, but you don't wait to hear it. You fly down the stairs, hiding your tears from the girls, and leave the house. You don't slam the door or throw one last comment Joel's way. You're sane enough to know not to put children in the crossfire of anything, let alone relationship problems.

Once you're at the curb outside of Joel's house, you let out a loud sob. Your hands shake as you pull your phone out of your pocket and hit the first number on speed dial. Ryan picks up on the third ring. The second he says your name, more tears fall down your face, and you feel like you can't breathe.

"What's going on?" He asks urgently, and you hiccup.

"Can you come get me, please? I don't... I can't go home. I don't want, fuck," you press your palm to your scorching forehead and try to force yourself to think. "I really need you."

"Stay where you are. I'm getting in the car now. Where are you?"

Ryan and Carolina hold your hands, rub your back, and offer you tissues as you tell them everything. The contract, the fake dates, the phone calls from Texas, New York, the girls, Melanie, Angela. Everything. They don't yell at you for lying about your relationship or blame you for what went down with Melanie. They just offer soft assurances that you're okay, and they love you. You cry through most of it, and they take turns holding you while you three sit at the dining room table.

You don't remember the last time you've cried this hard about anything. It feels like there's a gashing hole in your soul, and you're desperately trying to keep everything together so you don't lose it. And you want to blame it all on Joel because that would be easy—convenient. But you think that maybe this hole in you has always been there, and you've slowly been losing pieces of yourself without even realizing it. 

You think Melanie took a lot of it, pawning your shiniest pieces for brand new Range Rovers and Birkin’s. You think you left a bit here and there every time a director pushed you too hard, and you sat in your trailer for hours, staring at the wall and wondering how you could feel so disconnected from your own body. And you think that more was taken in every unwanted picture taken of you, in every headline talking about your appearance or lack of a partner, in every interview question that had nothing to do with your work as a trained actor. You want to go around Los Angeles with invoices, demanding that people give you back to yourself because how dare they take those pieces. You want to gather them in a box and try to fit them together again like a puzzle with bent and missing connections. You want your fucking life back, but it’s not yours anymore. It’s theirs. Maybe it always was.

"I'm so stupid," you whisper as you stare at your hands. Carolina wraps her arms around your shoulders and presses her cheek to yours, the smell of her floral perfume and Elizabeth's baby lotion surrounding you.

"You're not stupid. Not by a long shot, okay?" 

"God, why does this hurt so much? I feel like I'm dying."

"Because you love him," she says, like she didn't just destroy your world. You clench your jaw and try to stop yourself from crying more, but her soothing presence around you is enough for you to break. "You love him, and he loves you, and it's not enough to change anything."

"That's dismal." You try to laugh as you wipe at your eyes, and she nods. Ryan reaches across the table for your hand and holds it like it's fragile china.

"It's awful, and I wish I could take this pain from you. But, I swear to you, one day, you won't hurt like this. One day, you're gonna sing and dance again. You're gonna smile and laugh and make jokes again. You're gonna make beautiful art and fall in love with the way leaves fall, and you're gonna be okay." 

"How do you know?" You ask.

"Because I know you." 

Because I know you. Those four words scare you and make you grapple with the terrifying reality that they've seen the rotted parts inside you and still chose to love you. They remind you of how much you love them. They remind you of how much you love Joel, and it doesn't even matter because it will always end this way. It will always end this way, but it matters that the love was there. You wonder if it always will be. You wonder if one day you'll hear his song on the radio and be able to sing along. You wonder if he'll be able to see your movies. You wonder if supporting each other from afar is enough and decide that it has to be. There is no other choice. It will always end this way.

Carolina and Ryan let you sleep in the guest bedroom down the hall from them. The one that's always ready for you when you need it. The one with a pile of borrowed clothes with your name on it and the one with the soft sheets and extra quilts. You lay in the dark, your head throbbing with the weight of your tears, and you should be sleeping, but you're not. You're running through every single moment with Joel like you can will things to change. He fucked up. You both did. There are a million things you would change or take back, but Jesus Christ, were you happy. 

You shake the tears out of your eyes and reach for your phone, ready to mindlessly scroll through social media until you feel the tiniest bit better. However, your email inbox flashes with an unopened message before you can get to Instagram. You furrow your brows and open the app to see an email from Melanie. You open it out of habit and almost immediately sit up in bed.

From: Melanie Lundquist

Subject Line: Opportunity

Pike's assistant reached out since I'm your last manager on record. The role's written specifically for you, so it's yours, without a doubt. Don't say I never did anything for you.

-Mel

Attachment: THE_BEGINNING_OF_THE_END_R.PIKE

Richard Pike wrote you a role. An Oscar-winning producer wrote you a role. You immediately open the document and begin reading. You really should be asleep, especially after the day you've had with reshoots, but you can't stop devouring the words. It's about a young woman dealing with the survivor's guilt of living through a terrorist attack, mental health, and substance abuse issues. She's angry, sad, and hard to love at times, but she's also so fucking funny and caring. She's dynamic and heartbreaking and raw. She's everything you've ever wanted in a role. 

You stay up reading and crying over her story, feeling her pain so deep in your heart that it hurts. When you get to the end of the script, the sun is slowly rising, and you're almost certain that you'll die of dehydration, but you don't care. You find Pike's assistant's email address and tell her you need this role. Surprisingly, she writes back not even ten minutes later despite it being almost six in the morning.

Happy to hear it. Mr. Pike will produce the movie, but Mrs. Liliah Hanover will be directing and working with you directly. I will pass the message along to her team. Shooting begins at the beginning of next month in Ireland. The expected film time is six-twelve months, and housing will be provided upon arrival. Are you still interested?

For some reason, you type back a single, enthusiastic "yes!" before locking your phone and falling asleep for fifteen hours.

[happilylovingchaos]

Sorry again about my past rant, @lonestar-s5countdown… this is early but I had a lot to look for on AO3.

And oh boy. This is my only reaction to how deep the grief/ mourning tag is:

Judd:

3 am by Annide: Judd and TK spend a sleepless moment bonding over the things that keep them up at night, with the former thinking on the old 126 members.

Grace and Judd One-shots by ExpectSpellingErrors: Exactly what it says in the title. Go one at a time, though— there’s 751+ stories as of Aug. 3 this year!

Sometimes by Multifandom_damnation: Judd and TK aren’t that different in their respective trauma-scarred self-esteems. They just need to clear up their clouding pride and pain to understand that.

Nothing lasts forever by lydiamxrtin: Judd takes TK horse-riding, vís-a-vis 1x02.

Southern comfort by Araloth: Judd shows the new 126 what barbacoa is, resulting in a Southern dinner.

Hands over pulse points by isnt_that_wizard: An AU where Judd and Grace allow Tarlos to stay with them after they lose the townhouse.

Grace:

Of grief and grace by @AliceSchuyler: Grace loses her father earlier in this story, before he gets to meet her baby.

Ladder 126, please respond by trashpup: Explores further the devastation that followed Grace on the other side of the fertilizer factory.

911 Dispatcher’s week by SneetchesToo: Grace showing in canon and fanon why she’s the steady voice on the other end we know and love. Some comedic shenanigans ensue.

Wake me up by @AliceSchuyler: An Avicii songfic that follows Grace’s perspective and flashing moments of meeting Judd during the car accident on the bridge.

I could hold on forever by DoubleL27: It’s Judd’s turn to be there for Grace when she starts having bad dreams of her own.

Like a wrecking ball by machtaholic: Taking place sometime during 1x09, Grace visits TK to give him a self-care day.

This love we carry by fiddlersgreen: After he learns his lesson in 3x13, Carlos and Grace discuss their shared experiences of seeing their life partners in the worst pain possible: that of unimaginable loss.

Deep Dive for Grief: Will be split into different sections depending on the canon-compliant/ AU types.

Canon Codas:

Grand gestures by @lonestarbabe and Pigeonsplotinsecrecy: TK processes his breakup with Alex badly, leading into the drug overdose we see in the pilot.

@heytheredeann wrote 4 works, and all took place in Texas, all in Judd and Grace’s POV, all after the fertilizer factory explosion. I kinda can’t believe it isn’t already a series.

Those were the days by benjaminrussell: Judd has a bittersweet dream. Takes place before the Strands arrive in Austin.

In a world like this (I’ve got you) by @lire-casander: A 5+1 coda that sums up his POV of the events of season 1, and early season 2.

Teach me what I need to know (to be strong enough to let go) by hollyhobbit101: After 2x13, Tommy continues to mourn for Charles, but she’s got Grace to help her through.

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear by lydiamxrtin: So far unfinished, but it explores how deep TK’s grief for Gwyn goes and how profoundly it changes everything in his life— not just how it’s broken, but how it can be put back together. Even if there’s a mother-sized hole left.

Let me by @heartstringsduet: A realistically sweet look at how TK and Carlos’ intimacy weathers the loss of Gwyn.

Both your smiles were twice as wide as ours by daisieflowers: A low-key one-shot of Alex’s reminiscence, some hints of grief, and remaining ambivalence toward his ex-boyfriend. It’s a little melancholic, but there’s catharsis in learning how one’s faring from the end before moving forward.

Tales of love and loss by micaurel: The 126 celebrates Dio de Los Muertos to grieve, commemorate and celebrate the lives of people they’ve known and loved.

Lou 2: Lou-o-ween! by @dragonbinx: As a Halloween get-together featuring Tommy’s girls and an escaped Lou 2 goes a bit awry (like it does), Tommy and Carlos reminisce on their own celebrations with the two people they loved.

Light the shadows on your face by @lire-casander: Not quite grief-focused, but it does feature Michelle saying goodbye (for now).

Tribute by ThirteenRedVampireBites: A 1x10 coda that follows up on the International Space Station loss. I think the fandom probably doesn’t know how badly needed this resolution was, especially for Grace and the astronauts’ families.

Grieving for Owen AU:

The last goodbye by buckdiaz: TK goes into hard denial when he learns why Owen hasn’t reported into work.

Long way to get by meditatinghoneybadger: Owen’s sudden death on the job causes TK to relapse in his grief. The rest explores how he and Carlos try to get through both his rehabilitation and the process of forgiving each other.

Taken by @whumpkeys: Another version of 1x04 when Owen doesn’t make it out of the crumbling house.

Grieving for TK AU:

Quédate by hollyhobbit101: A truly bad-future for Tarlos. I cried at this just as much as I did for Gwyn’s canonical death.

I got a feeling that it’s time to let go by @marjansmarwani: TK gets really close to death (like he kinda does), and the last one is still sad (spoiler alert) but there’s a different reason now for Owen to grieve.

Shut your eyes and fall apart by @marjansmarwani: TK dies for real, and the 126 comes together to grieve together.

Grieving for Tim Codas:

Who cares if one more light goes out in a sky of a million stars (it flickers, flickers) by gapsinthedays: Nancy copes with Tim’s death, horribly.

Reaching, there is nothing left by tiniestmite: A harrowing POV of Tim experiencing his own death.

Grief is a lantern by Pigeonsplotinsecrecy: A follow-up to the mourning montage in 2x02.

Not one or the other by @maxbegone: While honoring a friendship tradition, Nancy processes the traumatic events from the previous months in season 3. There’s a mention of TK’s NDE but it is also half-Tim-centric since he’s the first work friend (as far as canon is concerned) that Nancy had.

Every second chance (that changed its mind on me) by @lire-casander: It’s a nightmare, and the pain from it will still make itself known sometimes. But throughout this interpretation of how Nancy moves forward in season 2, it’s possible to wake up.

[donationwayne]

here's my confession (I'm kind of hooked on you) CHAPTER FOUR

Pairing: Buddie || 24.7k/109k || Chapter 4/19 ||

CHAPTER FOUR OF MY FIC FOR @118bigbang ! !!!!!

THE RETURN OF DILF EDDIE

This week: buck cooks for eddie, buck and eddie gossip, buck meets up witht he 118

Summary:

Buck is forced to go on a temporary medical leave after getting crushed by a flight of stairs. In the meantime, he works at dispatch while he recovers. One evening after work, Buck hooks up with a mysterious, hot, family oriented DILF. The following morning he’s mortified and a little love sick after discovering said hook-up aka Eddie Diaz is the newest (temporary) firefighter liaison--poached from a house in El Paso, Texas. Buck navigates becoming best friends and eventually work partners with his ex-hookup. In the meantime, he desperately tries not to fall in love. He fails.

Cue: An adorable five year old, prank wars, gay offs, break room gossip, a fake dating plot, firefighting shenanigans, a packed summer of PTA responsibilities, karaoke, and copious amounts of cupcakes and thai food

OR

tldr: the hot dilf from the bar is my new work partner

_________

SNIP

Eddie joins Buck, who already has their meals on the table—potato and zucchini curry over rice. Eddie melts into the chair beside him, taking a long inhale of curry like it was a cigarette. “You’ve really got to teach me how to do this sometime.”

“Over my dead body. What use would you have for me if you learned how to cook?” Buck teases, “Besides, I doubt Chris would enjoy your learning phase of cooking. It sounds like you char even water.”

“Screw you Buckley,” Eddie replies with a light grin. “So, what’s going on out there today?”

It's a new part of his and Eddie's lunchtime routine, ever since the new dispatch trainees started, the pair has begun watching out the windows of the break room as though it were a large scale television. There was plenty of drama going on around the room between phone calls, especially on days that could be considered slow. Buck has made a flow chart of who dislikes who, who was friends, and clashing personalities that rarely interact. He and Eddie have spent the last few weeks stirring the pot in the office to Sue’s chagrin. She humored them with gentle amusement, as long as it wasn’t interrupting work or causing major issues.

“What do you think Sharon is thinking about?” Eddie asks as he spoons some curry into his mouth. He glances at Buck, who is expertly using chopsticks. “How do you use those? One time I went out with my sisters to some sushi joint when I was back in Texas, they all got chopsticks, and I was the only one who didn’t know how to use them. Our waiter rigged a pair with a rubber band and gave them to me, kid style. Chris still laughs about it to this day, I’m pretty sure that was, as that baby dispatcher over there calls it, a core memory.”

Buck nearly laughs coffee through his nose. “I love when you use terminology you don’t really understand that the baby dispatchers teach you, and it's even better when you use it correctly. You’re going to make Chris’ life a living hell when he grows up.”

“That’s exactly what I’m aiming for. There is nothing I love in life more than being the cringe dad. It's a well earned title.”

“Also, as for Sharon, she’s definitely thinking about last night's episode of the Bachelor, we talked about it for the full length of our first break.”

“Is that what you do on calls? Think about The Bachelor while you’re supposed to be saving lives?”

“That’s exactly it, Eddie. I’m confused, I thought I was hired to think about The Bachelor all day, I’m pretty sure it was in my contract.” Eddie rolls his eyes, scooping a large piece of potato. “And actually right now I’m pretty getting into this procedural show, my friend Chim rolled his eyes when I told him I hadn't seen it. I didn’t really watch television growing up, so it's all sort of new to me, and I’m playing catch-up, shoving all this pop culture into my free time.”

“I’m not a big TV buff, but I think I can quote Finding Nemo to you, if that means anything at all. I’m well versed in animated children's movies.”

“Delightful, someday I will come over and we will watch Tangled, and I will force you to sing every word because it is one of the greatest children's musical movies, in my opinion. It's also one of like five children's movies I actually saw growing up.”

“Whenever you talk about your parents, it gives me whiplash. Half the time I think you despise your parents, and the other half of the time you dote on them,” Eddie points out curiously.

Buck opens and closes his mouth a few times. “My real parents live in Pennsylvania, I have no relationship with them. I’ve lowkey been adopted by a different set of adults, and I call them my parents, even though they’re not really my parents. I realize why that’s confusing,” Buck admits sheepishly. “I’ve also never called them my parents to their faces before.” Buck blushes, “But I really do think of them as the closest thing to real parents that I have. I’m 'no contact' with my family.”

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my October 2023 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. Enjoy!

Babydoll Blues by devilinmybrain / @thedevilinmybrain (111k)

Louis is a high profile, filthy rich label executive who has the world at his feet - a music god.. Harry is the sugar baby trying to make a name for himself singing in shady bars and hanging off the arm of Louis’ biggest rival. What Louis wants, Louis gets. But what if the game gets too hot and hits a little too close to the heart?

Little Technicolor Things by scary_crow (72k)

Louis is a poor writer and recent university graduate, depressed, anxious, and living in London when he meets Harry, an artist with a secret who likes to paint sunrises and pretty boys from California.

Every Kind of Way by halos_boat / @halohamilton (68k)

"This shouldn't have happened so many times..." Louis trails off, dropping his head into his hands.

He hears Harry shuffle across the mattress until he's behind Louis, forehead meeting Louis' back as he let's out a heavy exhale, his warm breath causing goosebumps to form down his spine.

"He's my best friend," Louis continues, "and you're his ex."

"I know," Harry says quietly.

"Why can't I resist you?" Louis whispers, squeezing his eyes shut.

"For the same reason I can't resist you," Harry says, voice rough and throaty.

The kind-of friends with benefits AU where Harry lands up in the same group of friends as Louis after Louis' best friend dates Harry for a year. The first time they hook up, they agree it won't happen again. But when they do it again and decide on a casual arrangement, feelings start to get involved, and things get complicated.

Adore You by isthatyoularry / @isthatyoularry (66k)

“We invited our new acquaintances from uptown. You’ve simply got to meet their oldest son!” said his mother with a flourish, and suddenly it became abundantly clear as to why his parents had so adamantly demanded he join them in Deansville for the entirety of the summer.

Against his wishes, Harry spends the holidays at his family’s summer estate, and is reluctantly pulled into a courtship he didn’t ask for. Harry doesn’t want to get married, but Louis does. They don’t fit, but then again they really, really do.

Vaguely set in the 1920’s. Headpieces, jazz, fashionable canes, and flapper dresses, and that.

Mirror Touch by pink_heaven19 (58k)

“You know I can see colors in sounds, right?”

Harry nods, confused as Louis knew he would be.

“Well, I have another type of synesthesia, called mirror-touch. Have you heard of it?”

Harry shakes his head, and Louis can feel the tenseness in his shoulders and jaws slacking a little at the unexpected topic.

“It means I feel what other people feel. Literally, all the time.”

OR the one where Harry owns a second-hand clothing store, and Louis is a radio host. Louis has mirror-touch synesthesia, which makes him experience what people around him feel. He feels a lot around Harry.

Where the Tide Takes You, I Will Follow by pinkcords / @pinkcords (53k)

There’s no way around his departure, their inevitable fate. Harry will leave and he will return to London and when he sits in his new flat, wherever it might be, he will think of this summer and the warmth the sun brought him and the way it felt to be loved. He will compare all his future relationships to Louis and when they fall short, he will be disappointed. Harry knows this.

Or, Louis lives in Gloucester and Harry tries to find a way to stay.

Home Calls the Heart by itsmotivatingcara / @itsmotivatingcara (44k)

A series of unfortunate events lands Louis Tomlinson in the heart of Texas. After running from his life in London and a performative marriage, he leaves a scandal in his wake. Home calls the heart, as his Nana always said. Though her words couldn't be truer when he decides to take up her offer to watch over Hyacinth ranch while she travels abroad.

He figured the worst he'd have to deal with would be the meddlesome goats, some repairs and an errant spirit or two. That is, until the gorgeous Cowboy next door makes his presence known.

or

A romcom au.

2 A.M. Texts by everysingleday / @sun-lt (30k)

Harry has just come out and, with his best friend Louis’ support, he might finally be brave enough to go on a date with the guy he’s been chatting with on a dating app. Meanwhile, there’s a cat that wants to murder Louis, a fast-approaching deadline for Harry to find a new place to live, and this minor situation wherein he and Louis can’t seem to stop making out. It’s not a big deal. Louis is just being supportive.

—

aka, a practice kissing fic.

That Shirt You Hate by isthatyoularry / @isthatyoularry (15k)

“Soph,” Louis says to his female executive assistant. “I’m making more money than ever, and I have just realised that I have no one to spend it on.”

At thirty years old, Louis is past halfway to becoming a billionaire, and he needs to find the one. He literally stumbles upon his university sweetheart.