#all of his toys are way too big for you btw and your new owners will be making you adjust to them :)

[auspicioustidings]

pet play perhaps •3•?

Non-con ahead! (also all asks on this are now tagged 'Mhairi's good boy bad girl' so you can find them if interested :)

When your boyfriend had went missing a few months back you had not let it go. The police weren't listening to you, thinking that he had just left you, but he wasn't the kind of guy to do that. He was estranged from his family so they had been fuck all help, but you were like a dog with a bone and spoke to anyone that would listen. You put up missing person posters all over the neighbourhood. You were at the precinct at least three times a week badgering them.

You should have known to trust your instincts that something was wrong. You should have taken some extra precautions. But you didn't and it was laughably easy for someone to knock you out with a whack from behind and have you tied up in a moving vehicle by the time you woke up. You tried to speak but found a gag in your mouth. Not cloth, hard rubber.

"Your bitch is wake."

"Aww c'mon LT, dinnae be so grumpy with her. Ye naw think she's sort of cute?"

Your eyes slowly adjusted to the car and you tried to raise you head but a hand pushed it back down onto a lap.

"Settle girl, almost home" said the man whose lap you were in.

You blinked up at him, older man, muttonchops, smiling at you indulgently.

"Might seem cute now, but she'll be a nightmare once she goes into heat. Still think we'd be better getting her fixed."

That was the man who had called you a bitch. He was driving but you saw the edge of a hard plastic mask on his face. The man in the passenger seat had a mohawk and an easy smile as he grinned back at you.

"Come off it Ghost, the puppies would be cute."

That was from the man whose lap your legs were on and he was rubbing circles into your calves. He seemed completely at ease with the current situation and was entirely too handsome to have to resort to kidnapping girls.

"Aye LT, got ourselves a breeding pair now!"

You tried to shout, move, anything. The gag was uncomfortable and too big and you started to cough, your body then panicking when it didn't feel it was getting enough oxygen.

"There girl, let me get that off you. No biting or we'll have to try the muzzle" said muttonchops as you gasped in breathes when the gag was removed. "Your boyfriend has a bigger mouth than you, surprised you didn't recognise the taste of him on it. Got him to coat it earlier, thought you'd get comfort out of something familiar."

You looked from the man to the ball gag he now held in horror. The rubber ball was big, dripping with your saliva and possibly your boyfriends and covered in bite marks. You tried to get up again and the man grabbed your hair and tugged hard, holding your face back down.

"Unruly little bitch isn't she? Listen here girl, you'll behave and you'll learn to be good. Our boy has the best of everything because he's earned it, and he's nice enough that he'll share his toys so you'll not turn your nose up at them" the man driving barked at you.

You were so scared and so surrounded that you could do very little but lay in silence and cry. The Scottish one cooed at you even when the driver scolded him for spoiling you. The place they took you was the middle of nowhere with the only person in the big house being your boyfriend. Only he was broken. Didn't answer to his name, barely spoke 'person' anymore.

He was so excited to see the four men and they clearly adored their pet. The driver, Ghost you had learned, held onto his collar when he tried to lunge for you and told him to behave. After a moment he sat nice, knees on the floor fully spread to give a clear view of his cock hardening and straining against a cage and the peak of a tail coming from his ass.

"Fine" Ghost sighed, "no mounting boy, you'll let me give her a proper bath first before you get your prick in her."

He let him go and the man you loved bounded towards you to sniff and lick at you with excited yips while you cried and cried and tried to get him to talk to you. Soap laughed.

"Still dinnae want her then Ghost?" he teased.

Ghost flipped the man off and whistled, your boyfriend returning to his feet immediately and looking up at him in complete and utter adoration.

"Fine, we can keep her. My boy deserves the best though, so her training begins after her bath. And no fucking puppies."

[4dtk]

@jaemimpulsive said: “hello love! How u doinnnn? Can I request u and jaemin buying a puppy and bringing it home? It’s up to u for the breed, hehe. Thankie!( ˘ ³˘)♥︎” hi baby, sure you can! hope you enjoy <3 btw the dog breed i took reference from is the jindo dog ^^

[5:37pm] "oh, but a samoyed would be so cute! what about a golden retriever?" jaemin exclaims excitedly, clapping his free hand with your interlocked one as you take a stroll to the dog shelter.

"jaem, baby, we live in a dorm," you raise your eyebrows, with the mask you had on failing to hide your deadpan expression.

"and...?"

you sigh, "a samoyed would probably overpower everything in the dorm. have you seen the number of trinkets and souvenirs we have? the dog would knock everything down in a second because of its size."

being the voice of reason was hard, especially with your boyfriend, who you never could reject when he wanted an extra snack or kiss. you frown, squeezing his hand as comfort, "a samoyed or a retriever would be the dream, but with how much you guys are out for schedules and me with my job, i don't think we can give the dog the life it deserves."

jaemin only whines in response, leaning against your cold palm in the chilly weather even though he towers over you.

"i guess so... they shed a lot too," he mumbles, shoulder slumping even after entering the shelter. jaemin's mood switches like a lightbulb, however, immediately greeting the excited dogs who perked up at the sound of the doorbell's chime.

he lets go of your hand like a little kid, allowing himself to get tackled by the dogs as you look on with a small smile. there's already tons of scenarios going on in your head: cuddling the dog, cuddling the dog with jaemin, taking it out on walks, getting an onslaught of 'aw' messages from the members...

the volunteer's voice catches your attention, interrupting your thoughts before explaining your situation to her. she listens intently, occasionally eyeing your boyfriend playing in the background.

"uh... miss? it looks like one of our dogs has already made its choice," she giggles as you turn back, coming to face a cooing jaemin lying on his chest while he interacts with a curious jindo puppy. 

the energetic dog jumps around his head, entertaining the little bursts of movements from the male as high-pitched barks stand out against the others.

its little tail continues to wag even after you squat down, one hand resting on jaemin's back and the other reaching out to pet the puppy on its head.

"hey there," you grin, the soft fur under your fingers not feeling too different from when you had to brush out the tangles in jaemin's hair. the dog barks in response, nudging your hand for more pets and taking a liking to you as much as it did with jaemin.

with jaemin's pleading eyes, it was clear that the jindo's charms and matching expression had pulled him in quickly, rolling around on the concrete as he continues to play a game of peek-a-boo with the puppy.

"gureum never fails to tire out. he's always jumping and moving around; quite the contrast to his name, honestly," she laughs.

the process went smoothly, with your boyfriend hardly listening to the volunteer as he played with gureum. with a wave, you're departing from the shelter in no time with a dog crate, food and a few toys for the puppy to busy himself with.

all the way home, jaemin's swinging your arm excitedly, barely containing his happiness with the adoption with upbeat steps and a singsong voice. soon, you reach the dorms, receiving a greeting in the form of a quiet space except for the television playing in one of the rooms.

getting an off-day as an idol was a difficult thing to come by, and when the dream members did manage to get time off from dancing or recording, their bodies yearned for one thing: sleep.

the calming silence is broken by gureum's excited barks, thankfully not waking the rest of the members. jeno peeks his head out, breaking into a big smile when he spots the white tuff of fur in the crate.

pointing to jaemin's room, both males follow you to get the puppy accustomed to the dorms, letting him come to you as you open the crate. gureum doesn't seem to be fazed by the new face, eagerly running around the three of you as he explores the area.

"gureum!" you call out as he runs off into the main room, perhaps thrilled at being in someplace that wasn't the shelter. the puppy glances at every single thing before another catches his attention, finally taking his rest on the comfortable sofa cushion that had fallen to the floor.

"oh my god, he's just like jaemin," jeno jokes, giving the dog a few pets before retreating to his unfinished show. he swiftly evades a smack from your boyfriend, who now mirrors gureum's sleepy state with his head on your shoulder and a clingy grasp around your waist.

"y'know, they say the pet takes on the owner. i didn't think it would've happened so fast," you teased.

jaemin hums, nevertheless dragging you to the couch as he snuggles into the small sofa himself. he wordlessly opens his arms to you, asking for a companion to sleep with as the fatigue of the day catches up to gureum.

you could say the same for the two of you, sinking into his embrace with no problem as the sun sets in the background.

"good...night...?" you whisper with a laugh, reaching up to kiss gureum on his head. likewise, you peck jaemin on the lips, finding comfort in his chest.

"goodnight, my love," your lover says, relishing in the soft rays casting their light across the puppy as well as you. jaemin's happy to spend his day off with the two of you, even if he's only gotten to know gureum.

[iwadori]

Dates with the Haikyu boys (Kuroo,Iwaizumi)

hiii emp! so I saw that your request is open soo can I request fluff+31 w/ iwaizumi and kuroo from prompt list that you reblogged, thank youu emp♥️💞✨(and also can I request Godzilla stuffed animal on iwa scenario? since he love it sm :-D) srry if i ask too much:“ - @bucinhajime

Word Count: 1.4k

Genre: fluff

Kuroo:

You and Kuroo had the cliche enemies to lovers story

Knowing eachother from when you were kids you always wanted to compete with one another

Even when you fell in love

And hey, what’s wrong with a little romantic competition?

Today was your weekly date, which for this week Kuroo got to pick (as last week you picked go karting.) You arrive at the arcade, ‘this is going to be fun’ you think to yourself. The arcade is a huge staple in your relationship, as you’ve been going there since you were kids even with Kenma sometimes, with you and Kuroo always battling it out on each different game on who will win and whoever accumalates the most single wins on games on that day win the overall win for the day. You’re winning 56-55 right now and want to keep your lead.

You see your boyfriend standing at the front of the arcade scrolling through his phone, you whistle at him (like your a catcaller) “hey hot stuff” you say jokingly and he rolls his eyes in mock annoyance “ready to get your shit handed to ya tetsu?”

“I think not, I’m definitely taking the W here Y/N” he declares “Just wait and see”

He was wrong, so very wrong. You were basically on your A-game tonight slamming him in every game you play he hasn’t won at all tonight, you try to let him win some on purpose but he spots your tactic and forfeits wanting to ‘only play you at your best babe.’ 

You take a break to get some food after playing basically every game in the arcade twice over and Tetsu still hasn’t gotten a win. As you are eating you catch him staring at you,

“What’s wrong?” You ask with a soft smile on your face “If it’s the amount of losses you have it doesn’t matter everyone has off days so it-”

“I just really really love you” he says breathlessly

His random declaration of love renders you speechless, you do of course love Tetsu and everything about him but especially moments like these when he’s just unapologetically transparent.

“And I love you too babe” you say “and I always will no matter how shit you are at pacman” you get a laugh from him as he playfully punches you in the arm.

As you are about to leave the building, Kuroo’s eyes stumble across a claw machine one that must be new (since you’ve used every piece of machinery in this place.) Before you can stop him, he rushes over to it slotting in *insert currency in here* 

“you know these games are rigged right?” you say humoured by your boyfriends concetration

“Don’t worry babe, I’m definitely getting you something” he says sticking his tounge out slightly in focus “choose a teddy bear”

“well I think you should go with the obvious choice” you say

It’s been 30 minutes now and you are TIRED at first it was cute seeing your boyfriends dedication but your feet ache and you’re ready to go home. You cautiously approach your boyfriend not trying to break his focus “Tetsu, don’t you think it’s time we-”

“I’m not leaving this booth, until I win that stupid stuffed animal you want…” he says 

“But what abo-”

“and no I don’t care how much money it takes” he finishes

You go sit back down still humoured by your boyfriend, telling yourself that if he doesn’t finish in 5 minutes you’re dragging him home with or without that ‘stupid teddy.’

5 minutes has now passed and before you could get to your boyfriend, Kuroo comes running towards you with a dishevelled looking black cat teddy in his hands, just the one you wanted.

“Aww you did it Tetsu” you exclaim kissing him on the cheek

“I told you I would” he responds smugly

You finally left the arcade, now back in your own apartment ready to go to bed with you black cat teddy (which you obviously just had to call Tetsu) in your hand.

Before sleeping, you decide to text Kuroo one more thing

Y/N: Btw it is now 57-55 take the L babess <3 

Kuroo: shushhhhh I’ll win the next one

You fall asleep dreaming of plans to top todays perfect date.

Iwaizumi

You and Iwaizumi had recently met through mutual friends and have been talking for a while and are now going on your first date.

You decided to make it at the amusement park nearby 

But to your luck, the date couldn’t get any worse then it already did.

The problems started, when you went on your first ride and as you are just a thrill seeker and a tad bit over excited when going on a really fast part you throw your hands up in the air definitely not expecting Iwaizumi’s face to be there. Luckily for you, it was the end of the ride so you can quickly tend to the immediate nose bleed you gave him from you powerful hit. 

You were distraught to say the lease you didn’t meant to hurt him at all, but he assured you that he was okay and accidents happen all was forgiven and forgotten. 

After getting his bleeding to stop, you both agree upon sitting down and possibly getting some food before progressing onwards. Conversation between you both flowed easily making you thankful that things didn’t get awkward after your accident. 

But you spoke to soon, as when reached for a napkin you knocked his drink making it spill all over his crotch freezing you in place. ‘Not again’ you think as you quickly grab the napkins that you were initially aiming for to clean the drink up…before you realise where you spilled the drink making you drop the napkin and revert back to your seat. Before you could apologise again Iwaizumi hushed you making sure you knew he wasn’t mad or anything.

All was kind of forgotten (not fully since Iwaizumi still got odd stares from some people as it did look like he wet himself) but he didn’t seem to care, easing you’re worries.

The rest of the date did seem to go fine, you too both enjoying the rest of the rides and having no hiccups or injuries at all whilst having fun. However when Iwaizumi went to the toilet, you still did want to make it up to Iwaizumi so before you part ways you spotted a booth that sold stuff animals and you were determined to win one for him.

It was a simple, hit three bottles win a small prize hit six botlles win a medium prize and hit all nine bottles and win and ultimate big prize and you’re definitely winning the big one you think.

It was harder then you thought, you only had 9 balls to throw so you had to get a perfect shot each time and you just couldn’t seem to do it. The booth owner asks you if you want to take a break on your 20th go but you respond with “i’m not leaving this booth until I win this stupid stuff animal that he wants and I don’t care how much money it takes” 

Shocked from your sudden outburst it seems the booth owner let you win out of fear, which didn’t bother you at all since all you wanted was the big ultimate godzilla prize to hand to your new boyfriend after completely fucking up the date. As you’re being handed your gianourmas toy you turn and see Iwaizumi fresh from the toilet staring at you in confusion.

You hand him the stuffed animal shyly which he gladly accepts, secretly blushing at the kind gesture and at your good memory in remembering that Godzilla was his favourite thing of all time. 

At the end of the date he kisses you softly and tells him to call him Hajime instead of Iwaizumi to which you gladly do. You go on many more dates after this and you do injure yourself and him more but that’s one of the many things Hajime ends up loving about you. 

AN: I definitely need sleep, I hope you enjoy this since pure fluff is definitely not my thing at all but i enjoyed writing Kuroo’s scenario since Iwaizumi’s to me felt a little off ( espeically since i realised I used NO DIALOUGE ) but that’s what happens when you’re running low on sleep kids ://

[clareisa]

Stray Kids Reaction - Waking Up Next to Their Girlfriend For The First Time

♠ - Request (anon request): Could you do a Stray Kids fluff reaction to them waking up next to their girlfriend for the first time? Btw love your writings!

♠ - A/N: Thank you for your nice message! I’m really happy you love my work♥! I love this idea! So fluffy and cute uwu!!

♠ - genre: fluff, romance

♠ - gifs are not mine, credits to rightful owners

♠ - English is not my first language, so please, excuse my mistakes

Bang Chan:

  Oh my! Do I hear “crazy in love” in the background? Because that is exactly what this man is feeling when he wakes up next to his lover for the first time.

      Before Chan’s eyes opened he turned his body to the other side. As he opened them and saw your calm face, sleeping tightly, his world stopped for a second. He will be frozen for a couple of seconds, not being able to believe what is happening. He was playing the whole last evening in his head, his heart full of warm feeling. Suddenly he would cover himself with the blanket, starting to fanboy and smiling like crazy, but not too much so he won’t wake you up. 

  When he would calm himself down he would look at his lover again and admire her until she wakes up, occasionally caressing her cheek or hair, admiring her beauty with butterflies in his stomach.

Lee Know:

  Calm but his heart bursting with crazy happiness inside. Waking up for the first time next to his beautiful girlfriend is as perfect as he imagined to be. 

  Minho would wake up when the first light will enter the dark room. His eyes would slowly open and as soon as he would see your sleepy face and pouty lips, his face will brighten up with a sweet and gentle smile. He would carefully lean on his elbow and quietly watch you and chuckle when your pout would get bigger. He wouldn’t think about anything in particular. All his attention would be on you and how incredibly cute you looked still in your sleep. 

  After a couple of minutes, he wouldn’t be able to control himself and will lean down to your face slowly and will start gently placing soft pecks all around your face trying to wake you up. 

Changbin:

  This man will be shy and embarrassed! Of course, he will be the happiest puppy in the world but still will be nervous thinking about your reaction. 

   He woke up because he felt that something wasn’t like it is normally. And he was right. He wasn’t holding his Munchlax plush toy, Gyu in his arms. He quickly looked around himself and froze when he saw you sleeping peacefully next to him. You were holding his plushie tightly in your hands, smiling as you were nuzzling your nose into it. He started blushing hard and needed to bite into his hand not to let out the “awww” sound when he saw you.

    He rested his face to his hand, he was laying on his tummy, legs up, looking like an enchanted man. He couldn’t stop blushing but he couldn’t stop looking at your fairy-like existence as well. 

Hyunjin:

  He is hard to wake up but for some reason, he woke up the earliest. And he never regretted it since he could see the most beautiful thing next to him... you.

     Hyunjin couldn’t see a thing when he woke up that morning since his long blonde hair was in his face. He wanted to get them out of the way and sleep again but when he pushed them out of his eyes he stopped in his tracks. A sleeping beauty his mom used to read about was laying next to him and his eyes became so big and full of love. He would slowly move close to you and like if his fingers were summer breeze, he will move your wild hair out of the way.

    As he would wake up from his trance, he will lay as close to you as possible, hug you gently, hiding you in his chest and fall asleep again with smile on his face.

Han:

  He will be so incredibly thrilled and excited that he will probably wake you up with his tossing around from happiness.

   Jisung would wake up like every morning. Slowly yawning and rubbing his eyes. Then the sudden realisation hit him like a truck and he quickly sat up looking next to him at your sleeping form. He wouldn’t be able to hold his excitement and would squeak out of happiness. He would toss himself back to the sheets and will be kicking around like a happy kid. When he would hear your quiet whimpers of waking up he will immediately hug you and kiss your face.

    He would probably compliment everything about you from your smooth skin to your wild messy hair. But after that, he will for sure try to make you fall asleep again so he can lay next to you like this longer. 

Felix:

  Felix would be stunned and his eyes would be full of hearts. Yes, probably will act like he is enchanted. Nothing could turn his attention from you.  

   Felix would wake up when he will feel something warm clinging onto him. At first, he thought it might be Changbin but thankfully he opened his eyes before pushing you away like he did so many times to Changbin. When he saw you holding onto his waist securely and your head on his chest he let out quiet “Wahh”, being astonished by your natural beauty and cuteness. He never thought someone could be this beautiful in the early morning. 

  He would probably bring you even closer to his body. He will start caressing your hips and your hair, placing little kisses on the top of your head hoping you will wake up soon and he will be able to kiss your lips.

Seungmin: 

  He would be in heaven! I’m being serious, this boy is so in love with you that someone might consider it unhealthy. Waking next to you will be his dream coming true!

  To be honest, Seungmin was already excited to wake up next to you and see your face as the first thing in the morning since he was falling asleep next to you after your tiring date. When he felt his body waking up he automatically, even before opening eyes, squeezed your body gently since it was still laying in his arms. He would slowly get up and will go to make you breakfast to the bed. He wanted to treat you like a princess you are. 

  When he came back, he softly started kissing your shoulders to wake you up. The delicious smell of pancakes and his lips in your bare skin made your morning. 

I.N:

  This cutie pie wouldn’t be able to believe to what is happening to him in that morning. He didn’t know waking up next to you will come so soon but he didn’t complain. 

  Jeongin would be sleeping like a baby until he will feel arms hugging his waist. From the surprise, he would jump slightly but thankfully won’t wake you up just make you pout in your sleep. He would blush but soon will start looking at you like a curious puppy at his new toy. When he would touch your cheek you will automatically hug him again, making him giggly mess. 

  He would wake you up with whispering your name sweetly, trying to tickle you just a little. You will attack back and the soft first morning will turn into a cute messy fight between two playful lovers

[elysicndrcvm]

━♡ guess the 23 YEAR OLD FEBRUARY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because CHU EUNHA is just as BEDAZZLING as the month of FEBRUARY. wait, why do they remind me of JACOB BAE? beyond that, they seemed JOYOUS and SAVVY upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of DELICATE and QUIXOTIC though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX 1 / APARTMENT 0215 / FLOOR 3 ; HE seem(s) to have a lot going on with HIS job as a PATISSERIE OWNER/NUTRITIONAL SCIENCE STUDENT. ( ez, 21, she/they, gmt. )

     well hey there !! im ez but you fellow dallyeogers can call me ezzy, i have been in dallyeog before so some may remember me as having someone v different to my new bb i bring u now, i joined before with miss tam carmen !! anygays i return with this lil angel who i am all ‘ i say that’s my baby and i’m proud ’ over already even tho i literally came up with him like two days ago. you can find his pinboard here ( which btw i fuckeN love like he’s so aesthetic to me u go king ) and i made him a lil playlist which u can vibe to here. you can learn more about him under the cut but he’s a super soft-hearted gentle dove of a muse and quite...simple for me ?? sdhdh that’s not the right wording but U GET IT djjflg he isn’t super full of angst or trauma he’s just kinda viBIN livin his best life so that’s fun !! but ye without further ado: 

so as u kno from his app he owns a patisserie, it’s his lil babey and he is very dedicated to his craft and makin sure all his ideas for the place and the baked goods he sells are like rlly quirky and avant-garde. like he is so passionate about it u dont even KNOW, he tries to make sure most of the stuff on his menu is something like fun and new u wouldn’t get at just any old patisserie or cafe and that it’s super varied and also kinda aesthetic af? the place is very like trendy. it’s called patisserie d’elysian cause ya know he’s an extra biTCHH and proud.

he has three pupperino’s. all as adorable as each other, snickerdoodle is his golden lab and often ppl shorten it down to snickers, butterscotch is his dapple daschund pup, shortens the name to scotchie often. toulouse is his fancy toy poodle boi, shortens the name down as toto. if u are on the shortened name basis with his pups then u can consider urself one of his close pals. 

he’s actually adopted by his aunt but she raised him like she was his mother so that is what he considers her, she’s on his mother’s side but they are half-siblings. in terms of first name reasoning as well she just liked eunha as a name and didn’t even think about how it is traditionally for a female, she liked that it meant gift from heaven so it stuck. his father is still around, he’s just quite elderly so it felt like a better living situation for him to be raised primarily by his auntie. unfortunately his mother has passed on but no tragic story, she just went peacefully in old age. 

he dyes his hair quite often, it’s currently like a really pastel blue with black streaks consistently throughout like lil ones so it looks super cool. but he’s also had it be a more electric blue, lilac, and a duck egg kinda faded silvery blue. it’s naturally dark brunette. has brown eyes kind of a hazel hue. 

his style is kinda androgynous ig?? he just lives for soft retro fashion, lots of color in his wardrobe but also lots of tapered short and t-shirt fits frequented, sweater vests, rolled up jeans, high skater boi socks, soft jumpers with shirts, shirts in bright colours or satiny texture worn over plain white t-shirts, cardigans, pastel denim jackets, jeans with printed patterns on like clouds, flowers etc, favors yellow and blues. sometimes does eye makeup, occasionally wears heels bc he’s a baddie or super heeled boots/chunky shoes. 

obsessed with music, can play violin and guitar. he’s a big mitski and rina sawayama fanatic, likes anything that sounds peaceful or calming or has like a good fun vibe to it. also likes the trademark gay icons like carly rae jepsen, lorde, etc. he’s not ashamed. obsessed with mamma mia movies. but also likes rap which is rlly funny cause its like the bad bitch female rappers only and like he’ll listen to it while arranging his sock drawer or making his bed or something ajdjdj it’s like hype anthems for being a baddie and a hoe and he’s just doing his night sleepy routine adkfkf. 

showers, blankets, music, baked goods especially bagels are his happy places. 

very much a sensitive lil romanticist, falls in ‘love’ like five times a day, he just likes to giggle and smile around pretty people and admire the artwork hnghdh, he’s like yeARNS though ya know?? like he’s all i will flirt by making prolonged eye contact, i made you a playlist, this song makes me think of you etc. it’s either memes as flirting with him or elaborate love letters u never know what ur gonna get akdkd. 

awful sense of humour, loves his friends more than anything on earth except his pups, would fully live in a huge house of just like his pups and all his closest buds for all eternity. likes fruits way too much, enjoys puns about fruits way too much. milkshakes, sushi, orange hues and bus rides are some of his absolute favorite simple pleasures of life. clouds, flowers, salt lamps, the sunrise over the sea, skateboarding, fresh soda, teddy bears, busy street markets, parasols, fish tanks with exotic fish, sorbet, bike riding, polaroids, record players, rain at night against floor to ceiling windows with a fresh steaming pot of tea on the desk beside it and warm fresh sheets from the laundry on his bed, ponds, skateboarding. all little joys in life that give him like the biggest pleasure dopamine hit in the world. 

his cousin actually owns a florists so he has flowers just littering his apartment like a lot and it just looks like he has ten million suitors from the late eighteenth century attempting to court him but no all these flowers are from him to him or worse from his aunt djfjg she sends him some for valentines every valentines, pls help him, pls send him flowers. 

studies nutritional science and he fucken hates it. do not ask him shit cause he doesn’t KNOW OKAY? he doesn’t understand it either. he took it because he needed something to go alongside the passion for baking that was a real ‘qualification’/job so that is the only reason he’s doing it. no point doing a baking degree after all when he’s already a baker with a business, he’s super young still he gotta keep his prospects open. so YAH. he’d rather be doing culinary arts but eh. nutritional science sounded better and more logic based. the real miracle is he still gets top grades all the time even tho he spends his life like wtf am i even doing is this even legit akdkdk. school is the worst thing in the world for him watch his mood instantly deflate the second its brought up. 

despite being a quixotic, he’s a lil afraid of intimacy. like oh god does he love it, those small touches and acts of affection u kno? the subtle things that normally go unnoticed, eye contact, brushing of hands, linking of little fingers, rubbing a thumb, kissing eyelids or foreheads or palms or shoulders in little gentle pecks, back massages and rubs or finger tracing patterns absent-minded, shoulder massages, laying your head on someone’s shoulder or on their lap, knocking knees together, exchanging a small glance only the two of you get before bursting into laughter, smiling into kisses, napping together, having blankets placed over you warm and fresh, or towels put ready like it, someone making you something they know you like a lot. that’s his sHIT. but like he’s terrified still, someone skimming their fingers on his skin makes his breath hitch like he’s a scandalized and alarmingly aroused victorian woman sjdjd. he’s literally still a virgin, he hasn’t even had his first kiss okay my baby is delicate be gentle with him akdkd but he still LIKES PASSION AIGHT kfkf. 

real soft spoken, honey tinted voice like i shit u not this boy talks like he’s an angel sent from heavens above to guide you to the paradisaical garden of eden or some shit akdkd. ur gonna fall in love with eunha’s voice before u even fall in love with any other part of him like his adorable beaming smile or stunning eyes akdkf. 

has dance parties around his room when getting ready in the morning, listens to bella’s lullaby unironically yes from twilight yes u heard right, bit of a himbo streak sometimes in his obliviousness djfjf. quite silently subtly funny actually much like jacob himself. 

he is gay, afraid of driving, cannot do math, blanks out often and he is valid for all of those things. has a collection of cartoon and disney animal movie dvds. has a dream notebook. always has blue painted nails in some kinda shade. 

does not enjoy turning in assignments bc he is scared he’ll fail, avoids looking at his grades for weeks after they’re released and hates knowing that they’re out. 

cannot dance, dances often. collects vintage stuff esp clothes and mostly sweaters. likes midnight trips to corner stores and fields where he can just lay and look at the stars. makes friends rlly easily but has super bad performance anxiety. cannot ever have a messy room like even the tiniest bit messy. even like clothes being stacked on a chair instead of away. 

bakes peanut butter, banana and choc chip muffins (they r called monkey bites normally) whenever he’s super stressed. if u want to cheer him up when he’s anxious or stressed then u should give him french lavender honey, chia seeds and caramelized pear on toast/bagel. it is his comfort food. he fancii when he needs a pick me up. treat urself and all that. 

[tommyplum]

- eggplant peach question mark  |  tommy/alfie, modern au    for @boundinshallows’ sholomons prompt fest 2019

Tommy is the manager at a liquor distribution outlet, Alfie is the co-owner of a microbrewery. Even with all that booze around they have slow days at work. Luckily, they’ve got their mobiles, and each other.

TXT: Alfie. I'm going out of my mind.

TXT: The temp agency sent me May Carleton of all people to cover for Lizzie while she's on hols and I suspect Lizzie knew beforehand because she's left five separate towers of ancient bills of lading to be entered into the system and filed away which is impossible

TXT: And all we've got open in the back liquor fridge is raspberry sour. 

TXT: Talk to me, Alfie, cheer me up. Tell me what you're wearing. 

TXT: No, tell me what you WISH you were wearing.

---

alfie

[TXT] And why is May Carleton such an affront, sweetie? Surely she’s as capable as that Lizzie of yours of rolling her eyes at you? 

[TXT] My day’s going swimmingly, thanks for asking. 

[TXT] And stay away from that bloody raspberry horror. You know what happened the last time you drank it, and I can’t get away today to fetch you out of trouble.

[TXT] But, since you’re curious, I’m wearing jeans and that leopard shirt that you hate.

[TXT] What I’d LIKE to be wearing though, is your mouth. How’s that?

---

tommy

TXT: Because, Alfie, the last time she temped here was at Christmastime and I went down on her in the supply closet. 

TXT: I mean 'affront' isn't the word I'd use, more like 'awkward reminder of why I don't drink alcopop anymore'

TXT: The point isn't May's capability, she's more than, it's that Lizzie purposely left her more work than is humanly possible and it's maybe entirely because she wanted to be able to report to the agency that May didn't do all the work she was left.

TXT: Or maybe I'm overthinking.

TXT: Swimmingly? As good as all that? Have you cracked the recipe for that new seasonal lager, then?

TXT: Too late. The raspberry doesn't go as well with tea as the caramel apple did, but it'll do in a pinch.

TXT: Any chance some terrible accident concerning a boiler and a thousand pounds of mash might happen to that leopard shirt? Preferably when you're not in it, but Alfie, I really do hate it so I'm not going to be picky

TXT: Ahhh. My Mr. Solomons is in that sort of a mood right now, is he.

TXT: If I were there with you, I'd be having you with my mouth. With your back pressed up against that machine that drops the hops into the vat. 

TXT: There's a machine like that, yes? Anyhow that's where you'd be, backed up against the hop machine. Jeans around your knees, watching me suck you down. 

TXT: I've changed my mind this raspberry tastes WONDERFUL with tea

---

alfie

[TXT] Oh, THAT May Carleton. Never cared for her.

[TXT] Hmph. Good on Lizzie, leaving her some work to keep her busy then.

[TXT] You? Overthinking, love? Perish the thought. 

[TXT] I was being facetious, Thomas my sweet. Ollie’s off on the sick and that seasonal lager still tastes like gingerbread piss.

[TXT] You are aware, love, that they’re not actually paying you to sample the goods, yeah? And I thought you were swearing off alcopop, lest you start sampling the help next.

[TXT] Thankfully no. It’s safe as houses right here on my back in the office. But your concern is noted and appreciated.

[TXT] Your Mr. Solomons is ALWAYS in that sort of a mood where you’re concerned, pet.

[TXT] That’s what I like to hear.

[TXT] Though you’re a bit more caught up in the machinery than I generally care for, Tommy. Focus, yeah?

[TXT] Right, that’s enough bloody raspberry. 

---

tommy

TXT: Because you're horrendously jealous. It was before you and I pinned things down, Alfie. I won't be getting distracted by the temp staff again. May's a good girl.

TXT: Besides which I sent her round a bottle of that Amarula stuff as sort of an apology afterwards and forgot to take off the sample tag so she's been slightly cold to me. 

TXT: If you called it Gingerbread Piss you'd be able to make a lot of money in a very specific market. Consider it, Alfie.

TXT: Nobody takes stock of what's open in the back cooler other than me, the manager, and therefore I, the manager, can drink whatever he damn well pleases. I'm not quite an alcoholic but I'm high-functioning and that's the important thing, isn't it.

TXT: My concern is that the leopard shirt go in the bin

TXT: Mmmm. Call me 'pet' again. 

TXT: All right, all right, you win -- raspberry tea poured down the bog where it belongs. Now to get back to me sucking your cock, Alfie, I'd cup your balls in my hand and slide my mouth all the way down while you watch. Are you watching, Alfie? You'd better be watching. I don't put on this kind of a show for just anybody.

---

alfie

[TXT] Oi, I’m not horrendously anything. I’m just the right and proper amount of jealous, as it happens, being your man.

[TXT] XD Well, that’s put her off, then. Even those pretty blue eyes of yours pale held up against a sample tag, love. You cheap little arsehole. xD I love it.

[TXT] A /very/ specific market. And not one I’m looking to court professionally.

[TXT] It is something, innit? Though that high functionality takes a bit of a turn depending on what you’re drinking, sweetie. 

[TXT] I see. Not for me at all, was it? In danger of industrial accidents? I’d no idea you were so shallow, Thomas.

[TXT] Pet. /My/ little pet, aren’t you?

[TXT] You’d better not. And believe me, love, I’m watching. Watching you look up at me through those long lovely eyelashes as I push my cock deeper into your mouth, making you glug a bit. You know that little noise you make… the one I like so much.

--- 

tommy

TXT: Yes, dear Alfie. You should indeed be afforded all the privileges that come with being my man, intense jealousy included.

TXT: I used to be better at this. Choosing apology gifts for poorly-planned sexual encounters, I mean. I'm losing my touch.

TXT: Is it terrible that the thought of that makes me sad? I hate losing skillsets, is all.

TXT: If I read into your specific wording of not wanting to court that market PROFESSIONALLY would you accuse me of overthinking again

TXT: or should I invest in some rubber sheets

TXT: I discovered one of those flash-in-the-pan bottles of low-calorie margarita and nobody will miss it. We should drink more margarita, you and I. It's so FESTIVE

TXT: You know precisely how shallow I am, because I've told you time and time again that I didn't listen to a word you said for at least two hours when we first met because all I did was stare at your lips.

TXT: Your little pet, Alfie. Collar me and put me on your leash.

TXT: Your belt will do, in a pinch, come to think of it. I've seen the state of your dog leads. They're not chew toys, you know.

TXT: I do know that noise you get out of me when you're pushing against my tongue with your big thick cock, Alfie, I do. I'm the one making it, aren't I?

TXT: glufrgh

TXT: like that

---

alfie

[TXT] Listen you, intensity is in the eye of the beholder, yeah? I’m no more jealous than I have right to be what with you sticking your tongue in the typing pool on occasion. A man likes to know that what’s his is HIS.

[TXT] Good. Lose it altogether, so far as I’m concerned. Though I can think of a very thoughtful list of gifts to be bought in case of blue balls, should you be in the market for one.

[TXT] I’m going to blame that little bout of ennui on the raspberry. For a piss-artist you really don’t waste any time going in for the maudlin, love.

[TXT] Rubber sheets might have all sorts of practical uses; who am I to say? I don’t run your household, Tommy sweetheart.

[TXT] Bring it back with you to mine tonight. I’ll cook and we’ll be properly festive, just how you want us to be.

[TXT] That’s right; you did! :D And I found that to be a very endearing admission on your part. Unsurprising, given that I am a glorious example of manhood, but endearing all the same.

[TXT] God, love, in a fucking HEARTBEAT.

[TXT] Alright, now, steady on, Cyril is just a natural chewer, yeah? And better he chew on his leads than your poncey little shoes, hm? He remembers how hurtful you got the last time. Don’t think he doesn’t.

[TXT] That noise loses a bit in the written word - but yeah, that’s it. That thick wet wonderful sound of you swallowing down all I’ve got to give you.

[TXT] But go on, what would you do next as I’m fucking that pretty face? Would you have your hand down your trousers, yet?

---

tommy

TXT: At this point in the narrative, Alfie, I'm all yours. Eye of the beholder and tongue from the typing pool and whatever other scattered body parts are making you fret.

TXT: That isn't a threat to leave me high and dry when it comes to sex, is it? Because we both know how well THAT sort of threat turns out.

TXT: I come from a long line of the maudlin and mawkish. Don't make me haul out family histories of who tumbled down wells accidentally-on-purpose and who drank themselves to death in front of the homestead hearth. It's my HERITAGE, Alfie. 

TXT: Continue being mean to me and I'll find me a well and boot myself down it. See if I don't.

TXT: Melodramatic announcements also run in the family. Heritage!!

TXT: Also for God's sake Alfie be direct for once, eh? Here I'll make it easy: DO YOU WANT TO PISS IN MY MOUTH

TXT: That would btw go down better than this low-cal margarita. I'm getting a bottle of the good stuff to bring round to yours and we can be just how I want us to be with it.

TXT: I made it up to Cyril, didn't I? Took him for his walks for a sodding fortnight in the worst of the October rain. And I've got nothing against natural chewers seeing as you, my darling glorious example of manhood, share that trait with your mutt.

TXT: Hand down my trousers, yeah. Prick already hard, Alfie, from the time I first got my lips wrapped around you. Making whatever noises you want me to make, all of them for you. 

TXT: Want you to cum down my throat so I can taste you for hours after. Sometimes I think I can taste your cum for days, you know. Makes for a strange experience when Ada pops round with new baking and wants my opinion on how her mini cupcakes taste.

TXT: "Like Alfie's spunk, Ada. And white chocolate."

---

alfie

[TXT] Who’s fretting? And was that so bloody hard? It’s hardly my fault that I love you, you bleeding pillock.

[TXT] Sweetie, I would /never/ threaten you with a lack of sex. I mean, let’s be reasonable, yeah? /You’re/ the one who’s basically a human-shaped cat, I’m just looking out for my own lonely interests.

[TXT] Oh yes, here we go, it’s Dylan Thomas and the Shelbys all over again, raging against the dying of the bloody light and taking their sweet sodding time doing it.

[TXT] Mean?! I’m not being mean to you, my sweet lovely boy - bite that forked tongue of yours. This is /teasing/, pet. Because your plaits are the most fun to pull. <3

[TXT] And as far as pissing in your mouth goes, I can’t say as the thought’s never crossed my mind. Have YOU ever considered it? Since you’re the one what brought it up and all. Or is it only the pish of gingerbread men that turns you on, lover?

[TXT] You’re already bloody into it? May’ll be having to pour you into a taxi before the afternoon’s out.

[TXT] But yeah, bring the good stuff. We’ll make a night of it. Just you, me, and the rubber sheets, eh?

[TXT] Seeing as you just called me your darling glorious example of manhood, and it’s made my cock just that little bit harder, I’m going to magnanimously forgive you for calling our boy a mutt.

[TXT] Christ, you know how to make me want you, Tommy. I want you here, on those bony knees of yours, right fucking now.

[TXT] Keep talking about my spunk and how much you love to taste it. You’ll be having it soon enough. Long before your next margarita, my love.

---

tommy

TXT: "I love you, you bleeding pillock". Missed your calling writing Valentine's cards, sunshine.

TXT: I believe these days instead of human shaped cat we're going with bisexual, Alfie. And if you want me to stop being dreary then don't, for the love of God, tell me that you're lonely. It breaks my heart.

TXT: Don't even tease about it. Do you hear me? 

TXT: Dip my plaits in ink all you want but never that. I couldn't take it. I do love you, you bleeding pillock. Diversions into supply closets and over-imbibing of suspiciously saccharine drinks notwithstanding.

TXT: And now that we've gotten THAT out of the way, as regards my drinking your piss: I'm considering it NOW, isn't that enough? You're basically a big fucking gingerbread man yourself, Alfie, I don't see a problem

TXT: I'm stopping. I want to be sober enough to get drunk with you.

TXT: Ah, that's how it works, is it? I appeal to your vanity and you forgive me even for slandering our dog? Powerful intel to have, Mr. Solomons. You may live to regret handing me the reins.

TXT: Good, yes, that's how I want you to think of me, down on my knees for you, Alfie, I always am. Even when we're just talking or fucking texting or standing next to each other in the loo cleaning our teeth and eyefucking each other in the mirror. Know that from now on, Alfie: I'm always on my knees.

TXT: Right where I can keep control of you.

TXT: I'm going to suck you off the minute I walk through that door. 

---

alfie

[TXT] You’re not a hearts and flowers sort of lad though, are you, my sweet?

[TXT] I’m sorry, pet. I’m not really lonely. Hand on heart, yeah? No teasing at all. I’ve got you, and I know it. No matter how I natter on.

[TXT] Because I do love you too, Tommy.

[TXT] And now I’m left to wonder just what exactly it is that makes me a gingerbread man - and, piss notwithstanding - if that status has any impact on your addictive behaviour toward my semen? Am I sweeter than most, love? Tell me I’m the sweetest you’ve ever had. ;)

[TXT] Good. On both counts.

[TXT] As it happens, being on the receiving end of some decidedly saucy texts from my sweetheart has put me in a rather good mood. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s a given, but I think today it’s enough to leave me in a forgiving sort of mindset.

[TXT] Christ. That’s it. I’m calling it. We’re done for the day.

[TXT] Gather ye margaritas while ye may, mate, because I’m coming to pick you up. RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

[TXT] I’m feeling a bit out of control. 

---

tommy

TXT: You've rumbled me there. I'm more of a gin and handjobs sort of lad. 

TXT: Good. You bloody better well HAD know it, that you've got me, because I've already cut the tag off you and I won't return you. 

TXT: Well, you're a gingerbread man because you've got beady eyes and a gumdrop for a mouth and a great big round head, don't you? 

TXT: And you're sweeter than any other I've ever tasted, Alfie, the sweetest of them all. Ask me to be mirror mirror any time and I'll tell you, whenever you like.

[ no reply for about fifteen minutes ]

TXT: I've scored two bottles and given May instructions on closing up and she seems relieved to be rid of me. Come and get me and we'll stop for rubber sheets along the way.

TXT: Don't you worry, Alfie. I've got all the control you'll need.

/end

[violetosprey]

BTD2 My thoughts on Cain

I covered my thoughts long ago on all of the “Till Death Do Us Part” game characters, but I never really took the time to talk about my thoughts about the main series “Boyfriend to Death” characters.  I have actually talked about many of these characters through various different posts.  But otherwise, there haven’t been that many posts dedicated specifically to certain BTD characters.

These posts will mostly be about my own opinions and views (a rough analysis more than anything).  I may end up focusing on multiple aspects of the character, or just one particular one if I think it defines them best (we’ll see).  For those that have read some of my other posts, there likely WILL be some thoughts I’ve stated before that I’ll simply be re-iterating here.  But there may also be some new stuff in here if it happens to come to mind, or because I’ve simply not had the time before to go over such a topic.

It will take a while to get through all 8, so please have some patience and just check back later if it looks like I don’t have a post up yet for a character you’re really interested in.  I will also be talking through these under the assumption that you’ve played/read all the routes (so I might mention but not go into explicit detail on a scene).

*major spoilers below, and this is stupid long…like anything I write*

Fun fact:  Cain is my second favorite character in the entire BTD/TDDUP series.  The ONLY reason he isn’t my #1 favorite is because I have an intense love for villainous male yanderes, so Marcus just has an unfair advantage here.  If Marcus did not exist though, Cain would be my favorite hands down.

In some ways, Cain is very straightforward in regards to his characters.  He’s THE bad guy.  If he were in another video game or story, he’d likely be the final boss to defeat.  His powers are ridiculous, he’s nearly 3000 years old I think, and I think his creator has implied that he’s not a fan of working under others.  He’s had to as a torturer, but hasn’t seemed to like it (though maybe it depends on the other person/character).  If his character just came off as too OP to you when playing BTD2, well that’s probably because he’s not supposed to be a push-over :P  And the MC of all things in the game is CERTAINLY not a character implied to be anywhere near his caliber to take him on. What’s more, Cain can be considered a bad guy for the VAST majority of his life, and he shows no regrets whatsoever as to the monster he’s become.

Another fun fact is, I actually didn’t make the connection at first upon Cain’s introduction that he’s the Cain from the story of Cain and Abel.  You do get some dialogue in BTD2 from Cain about his origins there, but in the event that someone is not familiar with the importance of this background, I’ll dip in a little here.  Basically, in the bible you have the first humans, Adam and Eve, and their first sons following that were Cain and Abel.  I’m not incredibly familiar with the full story myself, but what happened was the brothers needed (or maybe wanted- don’t remember) to make a tribute to God.  Cain was a farmer, so he presented some of his harvest as tribute.  Abel was a shepherd, so he slayed some of his livestock and presented it as a sacrifice to God.  Between the two gifts, God preferred Abel’s.  After this, Cain then murdered Abel.  The significance here would be that following this tale of early human creation, that would make this the first act of human murder.  So what Cain represents is the origin of one of the most extreme acts of violence on another human being.  And when you ask Cain about his feelings on the matter in BTD2, he STILL does not regret murdering his brother after all these years.  Apparently the bible doesn’t fully goes in Cain’s motives (so it’s fitting that in BTD2 it’s also left to the imagination), but jealousy is a common theory.

So the Cain we know of BTD2 was punished, marked, and sent to hell I believe.  While likely being punished himself, he served a torturer in hell when needed.  If you checked through ElectricPuke’s tumblr, you’ll also learn that he would have been used for big events of depression or war such as the black plague and the crusades. Most of the time, Cain was kept in line by the more powerful fallen angels in hell.  He’s arguably one of the strongest villains, but not THE strongest person basically (Sam who pops up in one ending was confirmed stronger, but just is held back by rules and restrictions).  Recently though, he was able to escape, and he does not plan to go back.

So what’s he do now that he’s out?  Repent for his sins and come to terms with his years of torture to try to be a better person and go on a long journey of enlightenment *eyes sparkle*? Pfft, nope.  He goes straight to tormenting humanity (likely both small scale and large scale, depending on his mood and what he can get away with without being caught) because that’s what he enjoys the most.  That’s the thing about Cain.  He does show moments in the game where he’s quiet, thoughtful, and perhaps even lonely.  But when you look at him as a whole, he’s just a sadist that does whatever he wants to do.  He’s a VERY charming character, but it’s best not to be fooled by this man.  Sweet words may just end up being his way of manipulating someone, tempting them, into doing what he wants.  He does this frequently throughout the game actually, encouraging you to join tell him your sins, join him in the bath, drink his wine, or join him on the balcony.  But if you go back to many of these scenes and see what they lead into (often Cain getting rough and causing harm to the MC), you realize in your attempt to reach out towards the rose…that you forgot about the thorns underneath.  Maybe that’s another reason Cain likes roses :P

The complexity to Cain lies in the fact that he’s difficult to figure out…especially when you NEED to figure him out to live.  Cain is very fickle, and he gets bored fairly easily.  On one hand, he does whatever he wants, and he’s most pleased when he’s tormenting someone.  But he does have to still be careful about where he wanders because the other fallen angels ARE looking for him to a degree.  And Damien’s aware of Cain’s reappearance and is prepping for whenever Cain decides to start causing mass genocide for the heck of it.  How much damage Cain has caused since he’s gotten out btw, I’m not sure.  We only know that the MC isn’t his first victim since getting out since apparently he likes to text “weird pictures” to Damien.  I’m gonna go out on a limb and say these “pictures”…are likely of his victims after he’s done something horrific to them.  Just a guess, but I’d bet good money on that :P

Back to what I was saying though, Cain is still restricted as to where he can go and how often. Damien can’t beat him, sure, but the other angels that can beat him he’s smart enough to avoid.  He has to hide away in Tartarus for…who knows how long at a time honestly.  That’s not something we learn in the game or are given hints to.  Soooo Cain is even MORE bored when he has to sit around his house all day.  He can read books, but he’ll probably end up reading his same stuff over and over again to the point where it’s unenjoyable.  So what’s he decide he wants to do?  Cain wants a pet (and he is the worst pet owner in the world).  

Let’s face it, pets are companions that give you something else to focus on in your day-to-day routine and help even ease away some loneliness.  But he’s Cain, so a fish, bird, dog or cat isn’t going to cut it for him. Why settle for smaller creatures like those when he could grab something that he can make conversation with, indulge in sexual pleasures…and listen to them scream when he tortures them?  Cain makes it VERY clear that he sees the MC as nothing but a toy to him. You may not be a dog, but you’re just Pet 2.0 at best to him.  He really doesn’t seem to have a high opinion of humans either honestly.  Despite having been one, Cain’s not really all the impressed with what he sees.  It’s not like Rire, who Darqx has stated likes humans and prefers to torment them over demons because it’s more interesting to watch something that’s so obviously inferior to you try to fight back.  Cain does also like a victim that puts up a fight, but when he says the MC is “interesting,” it’s not explicitly because they are human.  Actually, I forget who put up the post, but someone figured out that if you name yourself “Ashe,” then you get a few dialogue changes suggesting MC ISN’T human in this case (it’s a reference’s to Gato’s angel character you meet at the river).  Cain can also turn you into a demon or a fallen angel, so he really doesn’t care about keeping you human.  So if you wanted to think up an OC to use for Cain’s route, probably any species would work as long as it’s weaker than him (which would….probably be 98% of creatures that come across him anyway).

I fully believe Cain when he says his intention is to kill you in the end.  While he’s looking for something more long term than when Rire “plays” with his victims, Cain’s “pets” just wouldn’t last very long.  First off, trying to please him is infuriating.  If you stay silent right after he’s kidnapped you, he’s unimpressed and kills you by ripping his tongue out.  He gets furious if you yell back at him and storm off the kitchen, even calling you a child.  Yet he likes if you say you’re not going to roll over for him when you take a bath together, and he gets turned on when you bring a knife and try to stab him.  It seems if you want to survive Cain, you have to hit JUST the right notes of feisty and entertaining, while not going too far into a defiant state that's just too obnoxious for the nearly 3000 year old fallen angel to deal with.  I myself, just kept getting abandoned and killed by Sam XD  I never made him happy enough on my own.  It doesn’t help that he’s one of the two characters where you don’t see his heart changes until the very end either.  Kudos to whoever figured out those survival endings where you end up with Cain (alive I mean).

Speaking of his age…good luck with either of you relating to each other.  That’s one of the hurdles here too if you’re trying to survive.  I’ve always said that Cain is more likely to hold sympathy for you than someone like the demon king Rire, because Cain used to be human.  That being said, there’s not a whole lot of sympathy for him to give.  Like I said, he doesn’t really seem impressed with humans. And one difficulty with relationships where there are rather large age gaps is how life experiences and events (past and current) shape one’s personality and views.  Basic example is an 18 year old and a 70 year old will have VERY different life goals and obstacles at the point in time of their lives. The 70 year MIGHT be able to relate to some of the 18 year old’s troubles since they’d have already experienced them, but at the same time they could just wave off those troubles saying “oh that’s not so bad, wait until you have to worry about this.”  Meanwhile, the 18 year old of course isn’t going to be able to relate to later difficulties in life that the 50 year old has faced.  I know I’m getting a little weird here, and you’re probably thinking “18 and 70 year old in a relationship?  That’d be a disaster.”  Well now the old man is nearly 3000 years old…you think he cares that much about your college exams, mortgage payments, or taxes you have to pay?  Even the MC’s emotional trauma might just seem petty or insignificant to him.  And if he picked up say…a 25 year old.  You think the 25 year old version of him would have anything in common with a modern day 25 year old?  Probably not.

And that’s another thing I like about Cain’s path.  Your survival is based on two things: a) Either someone else comes and saves you after you’ve avoided danger long enough or b) your personality and Cain’s end up meshing.  If Cain doesn’t care that you’re human, and he doesn’t sympathize or relate to you, you have to hope that you’re the kind of person that’s entertaining and pleasant enough for him.  It also might help if the MC is a little masochistic (makes for a better slave) or has some dark thoughts (think of the painting in the one ending).  There’s also two different ways this happens.  If you get the ending where he turns you into a demon, Puke described that as him making you one of his minions.  Whereas the ending where you turns you into a fallen angel, you’re more his equal.  So demon ending I see as you are JUST obedient enough to not be boring or obnoxious, but it’s still like he’s just grown attached more to his “pet” to me.  Like, he’s kicked you around and harassed you a bit, but when you betray Damien and stay with him on your own he’s like, “Awww that’s adorable.  How can I say no to that face?”  He’d probably still torture you a bit and keep you in a submissive role (but more playfulness there I suppose?).  Is it weird that I could also imagine quiet moments where he’s petting the MC’s head on his lap while he reads a book?  Fallen angel ending he’d probably have more respect for you and even treat you as a proper lover, rather than a sex toy.

Going way back to when I said I fully believed Cain when he said he intended to kill you from the start, I think it’s because he doesn’t really expect to end up making everyone he captures a minion or fallen angel (fallen angel probably even less).  And let’s say he DOES like a person for quite a while, but never enough to turn them into a minion or fallen angel.  He’s probably still eventually going to kill you because he’ll get bored of the same old thing and hasn’t gotten attached to you (this is probably more likely), or because you’re just getting too old to be durable for his torture.  Yeah do you think he’d keep someone around when they’re elderly?  He’d probably “pet his pet down” much sooner than that.  I think he changes someone he REALLY likes into a minion or fallen angel so that they not only become more durable (if he keeps up his sadistic acts) but so they can live longer with him.  Humans can barely live to 100.  Cain’s so fickle though that my head canon is if he doesn’t grow attached to you after a week of torment, then he just kills you.  I don’t think he has the patience to let someone prove themselves to him over a few years.  That’s just my opinion though.

I’d have to replay ALL his routes again.  Strangely enough despite him saying that he likes a little fight in the MC, it feels like there are more moments where he likes your compliance more.  Weird, but I’d have to check into that.  Still, with Cain it’s hard to tell whether that compliance just ends up making you too “yes-man” for Cain to really enjoy, or which moments you pick to be feisty won’t end up with you getting your tongue ripped out.

Overall, I think Cain is one of the more interesting characters in the series due to his backstory, charm, consistently evil persona, and survival difficulty.  He’s one of the reasons I consider BTD2 more fleshed out than BTD.  I know it’s not fair to compare the two games like that since BTD was made very quickly in good humor, but a lot of the characters in BTD2 have a little more to them going on that we get to see in the BTD guys (Strade, Rire, and Akira just doesn’t have as much screentime…I think).  And out of the 4 in BTD2, Cain is definitely the most straightforward evil. Nothing really sympathetic about him. I may have said it’s possible that he gets lonely, but “being lonely” doesn’t mean you’re automatically a good person that people should feel bad for right away.  Cain has not shown any remorse for what he’s done, and even in the survival endings where you end up with him, he doesn’t imply he’s going to stop being the villain in anyway.

[winwiniswinning]

Boyfriend! Jaehyun

Requested by Anon: hey!! I loved your boyfriend!johnny so much it bias wrecked me lol. do you mind doing a boyfriend!jaehyun when you have the time? thanks :)

Much love to this boy

He’s so sweet and lovable

ANYways, I’m back with another member for the boyfriend! series. Yo I’m hyped cause Jaehyun is so beautiful and amazing and such boyfriend material

Now, onto how you met! 

Jaehyun and you met in a quiet bookshop that’s not very popular. You’d visited the bookshop since young so it always had a comforting atmosphere for you. And you also took comfort in the fact that you probably wouldn’t meet anyone you knew because it was in a small side street and you were one of it’s only visitors. 

Even to the point where you and the owner, Chittaphon, got to become very close friends since you were usually the only two in there

So you were shocked (like JungSHOOK) when you stepped into the shop one day to find a guy, a very attractive one at that, browsing the books in one of your favorite aisles; the sci-fi section. 

You pretended to act like it was totally normal to see another human in the store other than Chittaphon (IT WAS NOT) and casually looked to see if Chittaphon had bought anymore books for the shop that would interest you

You get curious and start to lowkey stare at the mysterious dude without meaning to. And you may have been staring too intensely or for too long because he turned towards you and started to stare right back at you

Aka it was a stare contest

You guys are only staring at each other’s eyes but then Jaehyun flicks his eyes to look at the rest of you and he blinks in shock

“Y/N?”

“Wait, how do you know me?” Your mind starts sending large, blinding, red signals like STOP DON’T TALK GET AWAY FAST STALKER ALERT STALKER ALERT STALKER ALERT STRANGER DANGER 

“Oh, you don’t remember? I’m Jaehyun. We were in a lot of the same classes back in high school,”

And you’re uber embarrassed about not knowing a classmate from your high school days so you get all red tomato faced and apologize but he waves it off with a laugh

 “It’s fine! It’s already been two years since we graduated and we all look pretty different.”

So when you get home, to jog your memory, you scavenge for your high school year book and flip through until you find Jaehyun.

 And you remember that he was a hella popular dude with the girls and would constantly be getting chocolates and love letters 

You also remember not liking him much. And honestly it was probably just because you didn’t like popular people cause you always thought they were just attention seekers and stuff

And you clearly remember that he would never eat the chocolates given to him which really pissed you off because why waste perfectly good chocolate?

From then on, every time you visited the bookshop, Jaehyun always seemed to be there

The two of you start to chat even though you were hesitant about it at first

But you find it that he’s a really chill guy and super nice as well so y’all become pretty tight (I mean, as tight as you can get when you guys only see one another when you go to the book shop on the same days and during the same time. And this happens quite a lot)

You guys even start leaving post-it notes in books to talk to one another when you don’t coincidentally bump into each other

Most of the time, the sticky notes will be placed in Divergent, since the two of you really bonded on how amazing the series was

Jaehyun’s pretty silly with the notes

He’ll tend to leave stupid puns and jokes or just a little smiley face

But one day, after not seeing Jaehyun for a surprisingly long amount of time, you find a full out card in Divergent

Shooketh to the fullest

You’re like, okay?

And inside the card Jaehyun confesses to you and he just talks about how he always thought you were a nice person in high school but now that he got to know you better, he really liked you. And not just as a friend, but as something more. And how he understood if you didn’t feel the same way 

And out of nowhere, Jaehyun just pops out from behind one of the book shelves

“Hey, not to be a stalker but I saw you read the card and don’t feel pressured to answer right away, it’s just I wanted to let you know...”

And you don’t know what to say 

Your heart is pounding

And this amazing guy is standing in front of you, blushing like hell

You then realize like wowieeee I’ve had a crush on him since we first met each other in this book shop

So as casually as possible you’re like, “yo okay.”

just saying you didn’t say it like that but whatevs 

Jaehyun would be the softest boyfriend ever

And also pretty shy when you guys first started

SO shy that he had like a random conversation with himself before he kissed you for the first time

Like just imagine him leaning into you and you’re like damnnn first kiss going on here omg wow I wonder what his lips feel like whoop 

And THENNNN

Right before your lips touch, he stops and starts muttering to himself. Like you can hear him talk to himself super fast

“You can do it Jaehyun.” 

“Just a little peck.”

“C’mon man.”

“AH but what if I mess up?”

“Nah, I wont.”

“But what if she doesn’t like it? Omg what if she breaks up with me because of it?”

“I’VE NEVER KISSED ANYONE OTHER THAN MY MOTHER.”

“But I practiced with Johnny and Taeyong...”

“Well not practice practice.”

“I didn’t actually kiss them...now that’s just weird.”

“Ah but what if she doesn-”

And you just slam your lips into his to shut him up because despite what he thought, you had heard his entire conversation or whatever the heck it was

After getting over the shyness of kissing, I see him as the sort of guy who loves giving tummy kisses

Just soft little kisses on your stomach. And like sometimes he’ll do it so they’re like fart sounds to make you laugh 

Lol my dad used to do that to me when I was little

And he likes pecking you like anywhere cause pecks are cute

When you’re stressing out out about something or having a bad day and need to rant, he’s right by your side. He’ll be like totally ready to listen to your problems and comfort you and give you some advise

But also be ready when he needs to let something off his chest. Jaehyun will really need some support and positive words when he’s feeling down about himself or if something bad happened

When you’re sick, he’ll zoom straight over to your house and tuck you into bed really lovingly

And Jaehyun will whip up some of your favorite dishes along with a whole big pot of homemade chicken noodle soup which he’ll spoon feed you (He’ll even blow on the soup every time before giving it to you because he’s scared of you burning your tongue)

Dates will be very romantic and cute

Jaehyun will prepare everything and prob in the beginning of the relationship he’d be super frantic before dates and constantly talk to his friends like

“Do you think it’ll be fine? Like will she like it?”

“Jaehyun, it’s fineeee. Don’t worry, I’m sure Y/N will love your date.” 

“Really? Cause I think that-”

“Shut up, get out of the house, and meet Y/N for your date.”

“Okay... but I REALLY DON’T THINK SHE’LL LIKE IT!”

When you guys start to get really comfortable with one another and sleep in the same bed, he’ll like it when you sort of just curl into him and rest your head on his chest or shoulder

Jaehyun never falls asleep before you do (he can’t sleep right knowing that you could still be awake) so he’ll stroke your hair and softly sing some songs until you fall asleep

Once you guys move into an apartment together, he’ll just casually return home one day with a mother freaking dog

And it’s like one of those big ones that is legit right under your chin or at your chest when they’re on their hind legs

Lowkey really scared of those dogs cause I’m short lmao

But he’d just waltz right in the door with this big ass dog right behind him like it’s the most normal thing in the world

You’re shooketh to the fullest but he’s just like

“Isn’t he so cutteeee?”

And Jaehyun’s just fawning over the dog so much that you give up trying being mad and go along with it

Jaehyun will insist on constantly buying new toys and food for the dog and he’ll lowkey joke that the dog takes priority over you

Whenever he’s home, you’ll either see him cooking, sleeping, or on the couch with you or the dog. 

Jaehyun actually spends like 70% of his day in the kitchen, cooking over the top meals for you

Tbh he mostly does it to show off 

He’s constantly stuffing you with food because he worries that you never eat enough

Seriously though, the amount of food he gives you will be the death of you

Imagine that...

DEATH BY EATING

But he loves feeding you since he thinks you look really cute when you’re chewing on food

Okay so I’m done 

Lmao I hope you enjoyed this little boyfriend!Jaehyun whipped up

Also, this little baby is gonna be on Law of The Jungle so watch that if you can and pray that he doesn’t get hurt

And maybe pray that he gets tanner? Cause I’d love to see a tan Jaehyun HAHAHAHA

Okay I’m out

Btw this GIF is so big wow

[hanasfavsong]

Doggy Park (Hanzo x Reader)

Request: Hello, I was wondering, if requests were still open, if you could do something with s/o being sick and not able to walk their dog and thus asking Hanzo to do it for them? How do you think he'd handle it or would he interact much outside with other dog owners? Thank you!

Dude, I had so much fine writing this! Btw im sorry because I kind of tweaked it, youll see what i mean later lmao. Hope you enjoy it nonetheless

Words: 1055! Dang

TW; None! Please tell me if I need to tag something

Hanzo stared down at your dog, Beau. Beau was wagging his fluffy white tail while cocking his head, as if trying to ask him ‘Where is my other parent?’. Just a day ago you were fine, now you were too tired to get out of bed and you could barely breathe out of your nose due to snot. Hanzo had to sleep on the couch due to you not wanting to be near him too much incase he got sick too. He had to do some of your normal chores that you always insisted to take upon yourself. One was walking your dog. You had adopted Beau from a rescue shelter just a year after you started dating Hanzo. Beau wasn’t quite used to Hanzo, as he had just moved into your house only a few months ago.

Hanzo sighed as Beau left him to go to his doggy bowl and lap at the water. Hanzo grabbed the dark blue leash from the dinner table and walked to the white dog. He hooked the leash onto Beau’s matching blue collar, and they were out the door in less than five minutes. Beau seemed to have memorized the route that you would usually take him on, seeing as he was leading Hanzo instead of the other way around. They passed multiple other people with dogs, some waving or saying hello to him. After about seven minutes of walking, they walked by a man with his cat on a leash. People were crazy nowadays, Hanzo thought.

After a few more minutes Hanzo could feel his heart drop in his chest. Beau had led them to a doggy park. Dogs of different shapes and sizes were running around, playing fetch or just playing around with other dogs. Hanzo sighed as he took them to a small empty bench. He sat down and bent down to Beau’s level to take the leash off of his collar. Beau had yipped happily and immediately ran in the direction of the nearest dog his size.

Hanzo scanned the park, some dog owners were staring at tablets or books while others talked to each other. Multiple dog toys were strewn around. Did people bring their own or was it provided by the city? He didn’t know. His thoughts were interrupted by a loud belch, and a body dropping right next to him on the bench. “Howdy, there.” The man said, taking a sip of what Hanzo assumed was beer. Did he sneak it in?

Hanzo didn’t know what to do. Does he say howdy? Does he tip his imaginary hat? Not knowing what to do, Hanzo stared at the man. The man scratched his rough beard and held out his hand. “Haven’t seen you ‘round the dog park before, you new?” He asked. Hanzo shook his head as they shook hands. “No, my-” “Wait, are you Hanzo?’ Asked the man. Hanzo slowly nodded. “Yes, actually. How did-” He was cut off, again, as the man began laughing loudly. The man seemed to wipe a tear as he took another gulp of beer. “Oh, man! All the regulars here know about ya! Y/N never stops talking about you.” He said, somewhat endearingly.

Hanzo could feel his cheeks flush slightly, it was nice to hear that you talked about him to others. “Didn’t reckon you’d ever come here though.” The man grinned, slapping Hanzo on the back. “So tell me, Y/N somewhere ‘round here?” He asked, looking around the park. “No, they’re sick,” Hanzo informed. The man sighed. “Hate to hear that, they’re a good person.” He pointed to a large golden retriever that was playing with a small ball. “Now that’s my girl, Jelly.”  Hanzo eyed him warily. Was he serious? “You...You named your dog Jelly?” “Yessir.” The man said fondly. “Girl can’t get enough of PB&J sandwiches.’ Dear lord, Hanzo thought. Dog owners were weird.

“How has Beau been? Last I saw that boy was up to my thigh.” The man said with a laugh. “He’s been good, the vet said that he’s finally stopped growing,” Hanzo answered. As if on cue, Beau had dashed to where Hanzo and the man were sitting. “Beau!” The man shouted, immediately getting onto his knees to play with the big white dog. “How ya been, boy. They treatin you right?” He asked, scratching the pooch's stomach. Beau barked happily. They were like that for awhile, till the man’s own dog came back to him. “I reckon me and Jelly start heading back.” The man stood up and stretched, grabbing his beer and patting Beau’s head.

“Is that beer?” Hanzo asked, hooking the leash to Beau’s collar. The man seemed to be shocked. “Beer? This is an alcohol free zone, this is apple cider.”

 The two men and their dogs wished each other farewell before heading out in the opposite direction. While Hanzo was leaving multiple people stopped to ask him if he was Hanzo, seeing as the recognized the dog but there was no Y/N with it. After one conversation too many, Hanzo made a dash for the exit, with Beau running happily by his side. He did not want to converse with anyone else. Hanzo didn’t stop running till he was home, and wiped his feet off on the rug. He got the leash off of Beau, who ran for his water bowl. Hanzo slipped on his indoor house shoes.

He didn’t hear anything from your room, and he assumed you were asleep. He filled up a small glass with water, and grabbed a few pills that he had picked up from the pharmacy to help with your sickness. He knocked gently on your door, still no noise. He opened the door slowly to see you sprawled over the bed and comforter. Hair sticking up in unusual places and drool coming out of your mouth.

Even at the odd sight, Hanzo could feel his heart swell with love and adoration. Hanzo placed the water and medicine on the bedside, then leaning over to kiss the top of your head. He heard you mumbled something incoherent, before turning on your side to hug a pillow. He smiled, and heard the scamper of excited dog feet. He made sure to close the door properly after him, leaving you alone in your room.

[singbox13-blog]

Philly Used to Be a Cat Town. Now It’s Gone to the Dogs.

Crankcase

Screw you, New Philly, and your schnauzer too.

Philly dogs have taken over our once cat-loving town. Photograph by Colin Lenton

When I moved to this city fresh out of college in 1978, I brought with me my cat, Julio, who’d been living (illicitly) in my dorm room. I rented a ground-floor apartment at 21st and Walnut — it cost $145 a month — and Julio and I settled in. The married couple in the apartment next door, Geoff and Danielle, had a couple of cats. Jimmy, the gay guy who lived above them, had a Persian, and Liz, the girl who lived above me, had a loud Siamese. This was a city of cats then; you’d walk down the block and see them sitting in windows, dozing or eyeing pigeons dubiously.

We had cats because cats were suited to the way we lived. We were homebodies; there were so few reasons not to be. The city had hardly any good restaurants — Steve Poses had opened Frög, the sword-tip of the renaissance vanguard, five years earlier. There was Bookbinder’s — well, there were two of them — where no one could afford to eat, and there were joints like Little Pete’s, where anybody could. A few years earlier, Chestnut Street had been closed to private vehicles to create a “transitway” for pedestrians and buses. The result was a bleak, empty canyon slicing through the city. Muggings were rampant. There wasn’t any nightlife except for a bunch of cheap bars — McGlinchey’s, McGillen’s, Dirty Franks — whose surly, sullen bartenders (cheers, Ruthie!) would have laughed in your face if you’d asked about the cocktail du jour.

Sounds awful, doesn’t it?

It was great. Did I mention the $145 rent? There wasn’t any traffic, because nobody could afford cars. It was so safe to bike in the streets that I was a bike messenger for a few years. There was no such thing as social media, so no one cared that there was no place to go. You’d have the neighbors over for beers, then cook up some burgers or chicken while cats wrapped around your ankles. Why go out? Where to?

None of us had dogs. Dogs were for suburban tract houses, out where there were fences and kids. It wouldn’t be right to have a dog here. It would be heartless to leave it cooped up in a tiny apartment all day.

But you could leave a cat with a litter box and a big bowl of dry food while you went to the Shore or the Poconos for a weekend. And you would go to the Shore or the Poconos on weekends, because the city was old and bleak and gray. You kept your head down when you walked those mean streets. You got where you were going. You didn’t linger. There weren’t marathons or pop-up bars or Restaurant Weeks or Roots Picnics. We weren’t sharers. We kept cats, and we kept to ourselves.

•

I don’t know when the changeover began. I’m not sure when I started to see them — the dog people — out on the sidewalks and in the parks, strutting and smiling and greeting people they didn’t even know. Oh, maybe there had been a poodle or two in Rittenhouse Square in the old days, walked by a butler or prim Chanel-suited matron. But the two veterinarians closest to my apartment were cats-only. I don’t remember any pooper-scooper laws; instead, there were occasional polite signs suggesting that you PLEASE CURB YOUR DOG, which, for the uninitiated, means have it defecate in the gutter instead of on the sidewalk. No one was asking you to pick up that poop. There literally weren’t enough dogs for anybody to care.

Maybe the switch dates from 1980, when the first Broad Street Run was held. That same year, the Phillies won the World Series and then the Eagles went to the Super Bowl, startling us all. Or maybe it was in 1984, when developer Willard Rouse III announced that he was raising One Liberty Place, busting through the longstanding “gentleman’s agreement” that no building in Center City would be taller than City Hall. (Such a rebel!) Or 1991, when Ed Rendell was elected mayor of a city on the brink of bankruptcy and vowed to turn it around.

Rendell was big and gruff and loud, a transplant from New York, where they’ve always had dogs, because New Yorkers don’t care about anybody else’s quality of life. He had dogs — a succession of golden retrievers (what else?), Mandy and Maggie and Ginger and Royal. When Maggie died, Rendell penned a tribute that read, in part: “I lived on this earth for over 73 years and as a trained lawyer, the most persuasive empirical evidence I have found about the existence of God is that someone must have done something to create that special bond between dog and human. It exists for us with virtually no other animal and I can’t believe it was just an accident.”

If you’re touched by that, you must be new around here. Philadelphians are cat people — private people — and private people don’t emote this way. We might whisper in Kitty’s ear while cuddling her in our lap, but we don’t shout it from rooftops. We’re tidy as a litter box. We don’t slobber. We don’t wag our tails. We have dignity.

You have to stay a little removed, after all, in a city of rowhomes. You have to pretend you don’t overhear the couple next door arguing in bed, or notice the booze bottles in their trash can, or see the underwear hung out to dry in their backyard. You have to remain aloof — like a cat, you know? You mind your own business, addressing a paw with your tongue while the bill collector knocks just across the street. That’s the way our moms and dads were. That’s how we were, back before Ed Rendell.

•

Once, this was a city of suspicious nocturnal predators. Today, it’s home to cheerful tail-waggers, and the difference is as startling as Dorothy’s transition from Kansas to Technicolor Oz. There are now dozens of dog parks in Philly. There are bakeries that will make your dog a custom birthday cake, and doggie haberdashers where you can get Sparky suited up for your wedding or a holiday. There’s puppy yoga at breweries and Yappy Hours at bars. As I head into work along South Street, I pass two doggie daycares as well as an Unleashed by Petco (which has a self-serve dog wash so you can scrub the city grime off Rocky) and an outpost of the chic local chain Doggie Style Pets. There are Philly folks who’ll perform acupuncture on your dogs, and tattoo artists who adorn human arms and legs with canine faces. It’s a rare cafe that doesn’t have a doggy water bowl beside the outdoor tables. You can even bring your pup with you to work, if your employer is Urban Outfitters HQ or Neff Associates or Petplan, the Philly-based pet insurance company started by two Wharton students. There are dog walkers galore, along with trainers and groomers and therapists and psychics and programs where kids read to dogs. I and my kitty kin sit at home and marvel at this canine industrial complex. According to the American Pet Products Association, Americans spent $72.13 billion on Fluffy and Squeaky and Tug last year, with the annual cost of cat ownership two-thirds that of a dog, at $988 vs. $1,549. That cat cost is wildly inflated, btw, since it budgets $30 annually for toys. You only buy toys for your cat the first few months you have her, until you figure out she doesn’t give a damn about toys; she just wants to chew your houseplants.

Dogs, if I can be frank, are the spawn of success and gentrification. The Inquirer said so two years ago in an article called “If It Seems As If Dogs Are Everywhere in Philly’s Gentrifying Neighborhoods, They Are.” It quoted a Villanova economics prof, David Fiorenza, who says millennials are having dogs before they have children. A third — a third! — of American millennials who buy houses cite wanting more space for their dogs — a motivating factor that outranks marriage or the birth of a child. A WHYY report last year on gentrification in Grays Ferry quoted a longtime resident, 83-year-old Theodore Jackson, on the subject of his new neighbors: “They love them dogs.” Hey, that wasn’t a cat mask Chris Long put on.

One consequence of the influx of pups has been an influx of poop. Those “Curb your dog” signs are gone, replaced by ones warning of $300 fines for not picking up after your pet. (By “pet,” we don’t mean cat. And by “picking up,” we don’t mean putting that shit in a plastic bag and depositing it on someone else’s stoop.) If you want to get Old Philadelphia going, start a conversation on this subject. Beneath our (cattily) inscrutable expressions, many of us are seething with resentment toward doggy doo. “I see it everywhere,” one co-worker who lives in Rittenhouse hisses. “I stepped in some this morning,” another bitches. Neighborhood blogs froth at the mouth about the excrement situation. In 2018, Beth Ann Dombkowski, a resident of Passyunk Square, mounted a gallery exhibit of photos she took of dogs as they were pooping. In 2012, a Tacony man was shot to death by the guy two doors down for not picking up after his Chihuahua. Which reminds me: Earlier this year, a South Philly dog owner died after being punched, allegedly by another dog owner whom he’d asked to leash his pet.

Cat people don’t kill each other. We have no reason to.

•

Last April, the City of Philadelphia’s verified Twitter account tweeted out:

ANNOUNCEMENT: After noticing that our top audience interest is DOGS, we have decided to become a dog and cat rating account. Reply with your dog and cat pictures and we’ll rate them.

The “and cat” was a sop; felines were nowhere on the accompanying chart, which showed the account’s audience interest in dogs at a staggering 100 percent, ahead of “weather,” tech news” and even politics. Granted, the tweet went out on April 1st. But even on April Fools’ Day, the joke worked because it rang true: Who doesn’t love dogs?

Once upon a time, Philadelphians didn’t. Back in the day, this city’s sports heroes were cat-like loners like Allen Iverson and Mike Schmidt. Now, New Philadelphia has rallied to goofy Cameroonian wolfhound Joel Embiid and bulldog Bryce Harper. The favored writers in my salad days were embittered sourpusses — Stu Bykofsky, Christine Flowers, Buzz Bissinger. In March, the Inquirer — the city’s newspaper of record — started a new Sunday section, “The UpSide,” that prints only good news. Yippee, puppies and rainbows all around!

This city you kids are making is a foreign place to us — bright and happy and colorful and buzzing with life. It has parklets and bike lanes and hammocks you can hang in. It’s got more City Council candidates than you can throw a stick for. It wins all kinds of awards — for new architecture, new recreational venues, new chefs. It’s been declared best place to visit and City of the Year. Its sports teams are in ascendance. Clearly, you newcomers think this relentless assault of excellence will pound down our native gloom and let the sun shine in. Haven’t we ever heard of cats’ bad habits — that they hang out with witches and suck the breath from babies? Don’t we want our faces licked?

Um, no. No, we don’t, thank you. We’re into pain; isn’t that obvious from the public officials we elect? We’re proud that Slate recently labeled cats “the world’s most uncooperative research subject,” and that a study in the journal Animal Cognition concluded that “the behavioral aspects of cats that cause their owners to become attached to them are still undetermined.” You dumb kids, we loved this place when it was a pit.

So go ahead and encourage us to adopt our very own bowwow buddies. Keep telling us how comforting a dog would be in our dotage. Go on saying: “You think you love that cat. Wait till you try a pup.” Sashay past us with that dachshund dolled up in a Rhys Hoskins jersey, or your chow chow with the lion cut, or that terrier with the tie-dyed hair. Woo us with research on how people who share their homes with canines are healthier, happier, and less likely to be visited by thieves. We’re Philadelphians. We know exactly what you’re up to. A new study from Penn Med says the number of olds who suffered bone fractures from walking their dogs more than doubled from 2004 to 2017. A full 17 percent of the total injuries were hip fractures, which just happen to give us a 30 percent chance of dying within a year. You kids may be yanking at the leash to take over this town. But Kitty and I will just wave from the window, thanks.

Published as “It’s a Dog-Eat-Cat World” in the June 2019 issue of Philadelphia magazine.

Source: https://www.phillymag.com/news/2019/06/15/philly-dogs-cats/

[yourcertainstudentlight-blog]

Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

"Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

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Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

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Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

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Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

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i have a license and live in CT and i have a question about insurance the web page says the vehicles should be insured. my dad and mom have insurance for their them but i dont so i dont have to get insurance because the vehicle is insured? or everyone should have insurance who drives on the road?

Car insurance rate (red light ticket!)?

Sorry if this is too long, but i really need help! I just got a ticket for turning right on red w/o stopping in WA state. i googled and know that insurance companies don't often check driving record. unless when you make some change to your policy, make a claim or every 2 renewal cycles? my questions are: -How long does it take for my insurance company to notice this if i don't make any changes to my policy or make a claim within 3 yrs (this will stay on my record for 3 yrs right?)??? -Usually how long is ONE renewal cycle in car insurance? -If i tick the mitgation hearing option, and explain the infraction to the judge and he/she reduce my penalty, Does that mean the record will stay on me shorter? the penalty money will reduced? and hopeful insurance company will not increase my rate? -I am a student and I am cover under my dad's insurance, so if they increase my rate, does that mean the whole amount of premium increase or just my part? PS: if this help, my insurance company is American Family Insurance. I just switch to it 3 months ago.""

Does the Affordable Care Act force employers to PAY for or just PROVIDE insurance?

I've heard so much about how an employer with 50+ employees will be required to [provide] insurance to their full-time employees. Nowhere, I mean nowhere have I read clarification as to whether this actually means they have to PAY for their employee's insurance or simply PROVIDE it, which is a huge difference. My employer (a hospital) has always PROVIDED insurance but they don't PAY for it. They simply PROVIDE employees with the option to purchase their expensive insurance, which is like $250/month for part time employees. It would literally be 50% of my paycheck to purchase the insurance my employer PROVIDES. Can someone clarify the difference?""

Acura RSX or Toyota Celica. only have 8 grand to spend

which will have cheaper insurance, is faster, can be modified more""

If my car insurance finds out that i scratched my rental car will my rates go up? (it's my second incident)?

i am renting a car, i scratched it, my credit card will cover the damage but i have to first report it to my car insurance. will this make my rates go up?""

Classic car insurance for 17 year old?

i really wanna drive, and i dont really have a taste for most modern motors. so ive been looking at an 80's mk2 fiesta. i think its a sweet motor, a 1.1 is a good size engine for cost cutting and the XR2 models look like a great starter/driver car. though a look alike would be fine! problem is i cant find classic insurance that will insure a young driver on a classic insurer policy. any help, names i should call? all help appreciated!!!""

How do you know how much insurance to take when you buy car insurance?

How do you know how much insurance to take when you buy car insurance?

How much does it usually cost to insure a big (600cc and above) motorcycle?

How about a 250cc? Or does it depend on the type of bike I have?

Can insurance and credit card?

i want to pay monthly to the car insurance company> interest for monthly payments is 8.5% people said go and get a credit card and pay that back 0% but am i best just to pay the car insurance company? i dont know if i would get a credit card as ive not applied for one before and dont know about my credit rating it would only be 4-5 extra monthly to pay the insurance co with interest? is it worth the hassle? as i want to book insurance now. help?

How does my driving record affect my parents insurance rates?

In Illinois How does my driving record (20 F) affect my parents auto insurance if I'm not on their policy? I have my own car in my name and my own insurance policy in a different company than theirs. I do have 2 points on my record from a collision back in Oct. of 08' shortly after I got my license. Even than I had my own car and own insurance. I do live at home but I don't drive any of their cars ever.

""I've just passed my driving test, anyone know any cheap insurance companies?""

I'm 17 and female, I own an 04 fiat punto. Does anyone know of some good insurance prices? Thanks""

We are looking at buyin a house what insurances will we need and around how much should we budget for this?

We are first time buyers ans are looking to buy a house and we were wondering what are the insurances we need to take out and how much should we be looking at budgeting for this a month any help would be brill thanks x

How much does car insurance cost if you're under 21?

Hi. I'm 20, female, turning 21 late next month and my mom is planning to ship her 1998 mercedes benz sedan to me (in NC) from california early next month. I went to a driving school when I was 17 and I have been driving ever since. I also do have a clean record. If I would want to have a full coverage, how much do you think will it be per month? And also, since I am turning 21 in a couple of weeks after the car itself arrives here, do you think it will cost me less? Thanks.""

What Is GAP Insurance?

Hey there! I was just wondering if anyone knew what GAP insurance (Vehicle Insurance) is? Is it like normal vehicle insurance? Any information would be helpful, thank you. =]""

What is the difference between the Auto Insurance Law and the new Health care law?

Now that some Americans will have to buy health insurance what that makes a difference with buying auto insurance.

Cheapest car insurance?

who is the cheapest car insurance provider in the uk?I only have one year no claims bonus and I just purchased a vw bora 2.0 and the insurence quotes are pretty high so far

""As a 16 year old male, how much will I pay for auto insurance?""

I am a 16 year old male (and I already know what statistics show, unfortunately), soon to be 17 years old in October. I will be paying auto insurance pretty soon and I am trying to get an estimate of how much I will be paying monthly/yearly. I obtain a 3.5 GPA and reside in Dayton, Ohio. My mother will be adding me to her insurance plan and I drive a 1999 Chevy Camaro (this is the car that will be insured, and thankfully it does not have a Z28 engine). I'm not sure whether or not the insurance agency will consider this a sports car either, so I'm pretty nervous! Please help me! Thank you!""

Has anyone used Canadian Direct Insurance and experienced any issues or problems?

They offer great rates for auto insurance but before considering switching to them I'm curious as to whether other people in Alberta or British Columbia have had pleasant or unpleasant experiences with them.

Insurance through my work...?

Well im 19, and I just got a full time job through the city. Theyre wanting me to fill out their insurance papers and get on theirs, but im still on my dads insurance which is better coverage. Im covered on my dads until im 26. Im just not sure if I go on the cities what will happen to my coverage with my dad if it will just cancel me or if I will be on both or what. Idk. The cities insurance is free to me too so that isnt a factor. Thanks!""

How can i get my car out of the police pound when i havn't had a chance to get insurance?

just got the car and the log book was sent off and put in my name which took a few days but now having trouble getting insurance on an impounded car please help the police are saying it needs different insurance from releasing it from the pound

Would you purchase this type of car insurance?

I wanted to test a business idea. 1 million people come together each paying 225.00 membership fee. This membership fee includes one years fully comp car insurance. In year 2, all of the companies costs are calculated and split between members. So if costs are 30m then each member pays 30 and this fee includes a years fully comp car insurance. My question to you is, if this business idea were proposed by a large brand (to give it credibility) would you purchase this style of car insurance? If no why not? You don't need any no claims (although you still accumulate them should you wish to leave), there is no excess to pay on claims, the insurance category of your car isn't relevant (inc make and model etc), and your insurance is fully comp.""

How do I find the best auto insurance company?

My rates for auto insurance rates keep on going up even when past citations drop off. Is there a way to lower my car insurance premiums? How do I find the best auto insurance company? Thanks for your help!

What is a good low cost Automobile Insurance Company?

No Geico (they are very high)!

Why should the average family carry umbrella insurance?

Does anyone out there know anyone that actually NEEDED to cash in on their umbrella policy? What were the circumstances of the incident? I'm wondering if our family should carry it because we have a teenager getting a driver's learner's permit... Please, only serious, informative replies.""

Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

Springfield Oregon Cheap car insurance quotes zip 97475

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