#all of c2 being about how you deserve a second chance and there's always time to reach out--

[dent-de-leon]

the narrative of Lucine being a fallen hero and failed "chosen one," being fate-touched and forever bound to the threads of a doomed destiny he can never escape. Trying to become a god--believing the world is already broken, and he won't let himself shatter with it anymore--

[nightowlwriting]

summary: caleb is not so sure that he deserves the kindness you've done for him. you're sure that he deserves so much more, and you plan to show him in small increments so that you don't scare him away. the shopping trip is only the beginning. (part 3/13 of the kindness series, a thematically connected series of c2/exu imagines)

word count: 2.1k

warnings: caleb's low self-esteem, mentions of political corruption, set early in c2

note: i am only on ep16 of c2 so that's where we're at folks, also my german is so so so rusty so uhhh hope it's right but any germans want to correct me feel free lmfao

masterlist - request - support my work? - ao3

Caleb Widogast is a jumpy, jumpy man. You assume it’s for good reason - he’d confided in the group that he met Nott in jail and, well, typically people don’t go to jail unless they’ve done something.

(Although, the more that you adventure with the Mighty Nein you’re not so sure that’s true. It seems like corruption runs deep in the Empire, and you’ve only scratched the surface.)

Still, he is far jumpier than even Nott, and she’s a goblin in the Empire. You watch him, sometimes, and cringe when he flinches. It’s not pity that makes you start being nice to Caleb, but that does color your actions in the beginning. You are of the firm belief that he is a good person, that all of the Nein are, and that they deserve kindness. Caleb most of all. He is so hard on himself and no amount of coaxing from the rest of the group can get him to ease up. Not even Nott, and she functions as his pseudo-mother. But you want him to loosen up, want more of those moments where he makes a joke with a straight face, only to crack a small smile when the group looks away from him. (You try not to look away, craving those moments where you can see the smile light up his face.) When your group arrives in Zadash, you make it your mission to get Caleb to feel some sort of positive emotions about himself.

Or some sort of positive emotion that’s not scarred by whatever happened in his past. You want him to be happy, to heal from whatever keeps him held back from joking with the rest of you. It doesn’t even matter if he reciprocates how you feel about him - you don’t really care. You can love him from afar, be kind to him, and that will be enough for you. He doesn’t have to fall in love with you like you’ve fallen in love with him, really, that’s not why you’re doing this. This being stopping by Pumat’s shop to pick up some more spell scrolls for him with your gold. He had been muttering to himself the last time you were all in about not having enough money, but you hadn't wanted to embarrass him by purchasing them on his behalf, so a separate trip it is. Pumats, all of them, seem to know what you’re doing because they smile when you tuck the scrolls under your cloak and sweep out of the shop.

Your next stop is an ink shop, where you pick up some more ink and incense for Caleb. You’re not really sure how his magic works because it’s not something he was born with or given by a God, but you know that he’s always looking for good ink, parchment, and incense. Just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean that you can’t be supportive. You hope that’s what Caleb will get out of your gift, and not anything else. After you gather the magic supplies - you’d asked specifically for the things that wizards use just to make sure - you make your way to the Chastity’s Nook. Maybe Caleb was joking about wanting to be titillated while he learns, but you feel better safe than sorry.

The worker there is incredibly nice, if not shy, and helps you pick out something educational, historical, and terribly smutty. It makes you blush when you glance through it, but it seems to be the right balance of the things that Caleb has expressed interest in before. (Even if that might be fake - you’re not totally sure. Still, it can not hurt to try.) She even wraps it up nicely for you, offering to wrap your other gifts too. That might be too much, so you decline, but you still pass her a few more silver as a tip. You’ve never been so nervous as you are when you make your way back to the tavern where you’re staying, but it’s almost easy to keep your cool and mask the absolute terror you feel when Caleb is sitting with the group, eating dinner. You were kind of counting on him being in his room, reading, but you don’t let his sudden appearance stop you. Jester spots you first, patting the empty seat between her and Nott, calling your name. You slip into it, easily concealing your gifts behind your back. “Where did you go?”

A sly smile slips onto your face as you reach forward, taking a portion of the food they’d ordered, “Oh, you know, around.”

“You smell like perfume,” Beau leans over Nott and sniffs you, making a slightly disgusted face, “Why do you smell like perfume?”

“I went shopping,” You cut in before Jester and Molly can interject with salacious theories, “That shopping happened to be in the Tri-Spire, thank you very much.” Caleb raises an eyebrow, sharing a look with Fjord, but you ignore it. “What did you guys do today?” You don’t really listen - only enough to hum or nod as they’re speaking - because you’re focused on figuring out a plan to get your gifts to Caleb without the others noticing or making him feel like you’re doing it out of pity, or that he owes you. You just want him to be happy that he’s getting a gift. It’s later, when everyone has cleared out, that Jester shakes your shoulder lightly, calling your name.

“Are you okay?” Her dark blue eyebrows pull down over her eyes, incredibly worried, “You didn’t talk at all during dinner.” You take her hand in yours, squeezing it briefly.

“I’m fine, Jessie. I think I might head to bed, though.” You give her a hug before heading up to your room, looking over your shoulder just before you hit the stairs to see if Caleb had gone to bed when you had zoned out. He’s easy to find in the corner, nose deep in a book, and you grin. That makes everything so much easier, especially since Nott is tucked into the booth next to him. That means that their room is completely empty and a perfect place to drop the gifts without any of the unnecessary baggage that might come with giving them to him face to face. You don’t even think about the fact that he might have warded his room until it’s too late. (That being until you watch the string snap around your ankles when you make it four steps into the room.)

But, damnit, you have a mission to complete. There’s at least a minute before Caleb makes it to the stairs and perhaps another half a minute before he hits the door. You set the things up on what you think is Caleb’s bed a little messier than you wanted but you’re running out of time. The door is a no-go to leave, and you can hear Caleb bounding up the steps. You whirl, tugging your cloak tightly around you as you debate jumping through the window instead of opening it. In the end that will just draw an entirely different reaction than you want, so you settle for slamming the window up and slinging one leg over the sill. Caleb’s room is on the second floor, so the fall might hurt a little bit, but Caleb is right outside the door, so you don’t have any other choices-

“Was machst du in meinem Zimmer!?” He bellows, hands already engulfed in flame, when he kicks the door open. It startles you off of the window sill, luckily into the room instead of out. You pop up, hands raised and already talking.

“Okay, I don’t know what you’re saying but I didn’t know you had your room warded, I was just trying to give you the things that I bought you today, and then by the time I realized it was too late because I couldn’t just leave without giving you the stuff, because then you’d be scared-” Caleb extinguishes the flames that had started to crawl up his arms, shutting the door as he comes closer to the bed. You scramble to your feet, snagging your cloak in your hands to twist it nervously. “-I should leave now, excuse me.” You do your best to skirt around him but Caleb holds up a hand, eyes on the pile of loot you’ve left on his bed. He wraps a warm hand around your wrist to keep you in place as he tries to process what’s happening.

“What is on my bed?” Caleb finally looks toward you then, eyebrows furrowed as he watches you nervously fidget with your robe, biting your lower lip. “I am not mad, but what do you mean things you bought me?” He gestures loosely with the other hand and you take a step closer to him and the bed. You weren’t ready for being confronted with Caleb, despite how much you thought about what you might say to him in a situation like this. You almost swallow your tongue trying to figure out what to say to him.

“I bought you things,” You blurt, “Because you deserve it. I’m not sure if it’s all the right things, but I tried and even if you can’t use them for, you know, magic things you can use them for other stuff-” You watch as he makes his way over to the pile and begins rifling through it, mumbling to himself in Zemnian. “I’m not doing this out of pity, or anything,” You move to his side, peeking over as he skims through the book you bought, “I did it because I want to, I promise.” You wring your hands and look off to the side, avoiding watching the way he’s pouring over what you’ve bought, “You weren’t even really supposed to know they’re from me, honestly, I just wanted to do something nice for you because you deserve kindness-”

“-I am not so sure about that,” Caleb turns to you, catching your attention. He smiles, but it’s weak, when he looks at the small pile you’ve bought for him, “The spells will be useful for the group, but the rest… You are too kind.”

“I’m not!” Perhaps on instinct, you reach out and clasp his wrists in your hands, “No, Caleb, please. I didn’t do this to make you feel bad, I want you to feel good. You’re so bright, Caleb, and so amazing that I just want you to feel a fraction of the happiness you make me feel.” He hesitates so you press on, taking the chance to step closer to him as your heart takes off at a breakneck pace in your chest. “Please, don’t feel guilty. I did this because I want to, okay? I want to make you happy and make you smile, and make you feel good because it makes me feel good. You don’t have to do - to do anything and if you want, I’ll stop. You just say the word and I’ll stop, but I see you, Caleb.” Your voice breaks off as your eyes mist over. He looks awe-inspired at you, not stepping away or pulling from your grasp, “I see you. I see the way you bite back jokes, and sometimes they slip through. I see the way you care for us, for Nott. I see the way you sacrifice yourself in everything you do because you don’t feel like you deserve to be happy, but you do. Please, you are such a good man - I can see it. I can feel it, Caleb. You deserve the world’s largest kindness, but if I can’t give that to you I’ll give you small kindnesses, if you’ll let me.” Your lip quivers and your voice comes out in a hoarse whisper when you decide to fling yourself off the metaphorical cliff you’ve found yourself on, “Caleb Widogast, I wish to give you never-ending small kindnesses not only because you deserve them, but because I love you. I am in love with you.” The difference sits heavy in the air between you as you watch Caleb process everything that you’ve said.

“You… Are you in love with me?”

“Undoubtedly.” You confirmed, whispering. He’s stepped toward you a fraction of an inch, but it puts the both of you nearly chest to chest. “I have never been so sure of something, Caleb.”

“I enjoy the way you say my name.” He confesses. You watch in wonder as red begins to crest from underneath his facial hair, coloring his cheeks a rosy, pretty pink. He tries to look away, but you duck your head to try and keep some semblance of eye contact. Your hands tremble in his.

“I’ll say it forever, then,” You try to smile, but you really only manage an upward quiver of your lips, “Every day, if you’ll accept my kindness.”

“Es wird schwer,” Caleb says under his breath as he shuffles even closer to you, “Es wird so schwer, aber ich werde es versuchen.” You’re not totally sure what he’s saying, but when he presses a terrified, hesitant kiss against your lips the message comes across loud and clear.

[lynkhart]

MAJOR spoilers for the C2 finale of Critical Role so read at your own risk of you haven’t caught up!

I have so many feelings regarding Caleb and Essek’s intertwining character arcs I needed to explore, so strap in folks, you’re in for a bit of a ride! (But seriously though, this is like 4000 words long, I basically wrote an essay 😂)

At the start of the campaign, Caleb Widogast was dripping in guilt and self loathing and refused to believe he could ever absolve himself of his sins. Essek Thelyss was a cold, aloof individual who betrayed his people for selfish goals, and their differing yet mirrored narratives have been an absolute delight to watch unfold.

In the beginning Caleb truly hated himself. He shot down any attempt at a compliment, described himself as a ‘disgusting person’, outright rejected the idea that he was worthy of love, and never let the blame shift from him for what he’d done. When Beauregard and Veth/Nott pointed out that he was coerced and manipulated into killing his parents, he reacts in an incredibly visceral way, and I’ve seen several comments likening it to a victim of child abuse who was groomed into believing they were as responsible as their abuser, and I think that’s exactly how it was meant to be read. He doesn’t see himself as a victim, only a murderer, and punishes himself for it every day. We see this in the way he presents himself, dirty and unkempt because in his mind he doesn’t deserve to feel good about himself in any way. Other than Nott/Veth and Beau to a certain degree, he purposefully isolates himself from the rest of the group and it’s a long time until he feels relaxed enough in their company to drop his defences a little.

(Speaking from a purely meta point of view, Liam did an absolutely phenomenal job of showing this through body language and I’d love to see someone do a compilation video of it. He starts off very hunched and guarded, leaning his body away from the closest person to him and avoiding eye contact and physical touch; but by the end stands tall and sure of himself.)

Early on there were a few moments where he had the option to do some pretty dark shit, and I’m sure there’s a possible timeline where he gave into his desire for revenge and really lost his way, but I’m glad he stuck it out and worked through his trauma in the way he did. His PTSD and disassociation when casting with fire was tragic, but over time he was able to work through it thanks to the constant love and support of his friends who kept him from going off at the deep end.

Molly’s death was the catalyst for change in a lot of the party, and Caleb is no exception. On the verge of leaving the group prior to his death, the grief they shared, combined with their frantic attempt to rescue the other half of their party put things in perspective and gradually he learned how to be a person again, to care.

Altering time to save his family had been Caleb’s only goal in life, and so when Essek and by extension, dunamancy was introduced, you could see his eyes light up at the possibilities.

A huge turning point for him is aligned so closely with Essek’s redemption arc which feels quite apt I think. When Essek confesses to his crimes, Caleb delivers a beautifully iconic piece of dialogue where he acknowledges their similarities and how much he himself has changed as a person since meeting the Mighty Nein. (Source - CR wiki)

‘You listen to me. I know what you are talking about. I know. And the difference between you and I is thinner than a razor. I know what it means to have other people complicate your desires and wishes. And I was like you. Was. I know what a fool I have been for years. You didn't account for us. Good. That is life. Shit hits you sideways in life and no one is prepared. No one is ready. These people changed me. These people can change you. You were not born with venom in your veins. You learned it. You learned it. You have a rare opportunity here, Thelyss. One chance to save yourself, and we are offering it.’

This is not the same Caleb we met back in the Nestled Nook inn way back in the first episode. While not yet fulfilled or entirely convinced of his own worth, he knows he’s on the right path. That alone is progress enough, but that he uses his own experiences to help another escape those same chains of guilt says such a lot for his development. When he tells Essek that his ‘venom’ was learned, he’s also talking about himself and his own history of being manipulated and gaslit, with the implication being that it can be un-learned just as efficiently.

Caleb Widogast is selfish no more, or at the very least, doesn’t let his goals undermine anyone else’s anymore. Contrary to what he himself might still think, he is in no way a bad person. He loves fiercely and cannot abide seeing those he cares about in pain.

Early game Essek is what Caleb could have been if he’d rejected his friends and focused solely on his own selfish goal to undo his mistakes. Both are impassive at first and see the Mighty Nein as means to an end...until they get to know them and then their fate is sealed. The Power of Friendship wins once again!

At the beginning Caleb said he wanted to ‘bend reality to my will’ (sic) and in the end he does just that, though not in the way he originally intended. Destroying the T-Dock, and by extension the one thing he’d been building towards from the start, the chance to go back and change time, for me personally was the absolute peak of his journey. I rewatched the scene where Caleb revealed the truth about his parents death today, and it was really jarring to see just how far he’d come since then. It made me oddly proud actually.

I always felt like his plan to save his parents was the one thing holding him back from truly accepting their deaths, which is why the final scene of him in the cemetery with the letters for them hit so hard. He never truly gave up hope that they’d be reunited, but ultimately he realised he was merely postponing the inevitable and never allowing himself to live his own life. While time travel shenanigans would have been incredibly interesting to explore in game, choosing to let the past lie and not go back for them finally allows him to grieve and move on, and perhaps most importantly of all, to forgive himself at last.

I know some people were annoyed by Caleb’s decision in the finale to spend the rest of his life teaching rather than continuing to adventure, but I see it as the natural conclusion to his whole arc and his own personal victory.

He looked Trent Ikithon in the eyes, a man who he’d spent years wanting to kill and run from in equal measure, stripped him of his power and his voice (and ultimately his ability to harm anyone else) and finally spared his life so he had to live with the indignity of his defeat for the rest of his miserable existence. You couldn’t have asked for a more damning rejection of everything he’d been brainwashed into believing as a child. His dismissal of Trent’s position in the Assembly played into that as well. He never really wanted power for the sake of it; he had no desire for politics, he just wanted his family back, and while he didn’t get the one he started with, he made a new one for himself in the end.

As Caduceus once very wisely said:

‘Pain doesn’t make people; it's love that makes people. The pain is inconsequential; it's love that saves them.’

Caleb gets to break the cycle of abuse and teach a new generation of mages the way he should have been, with kindness and respect, and I’m pretty sure he’d have introduced a handsome drow as a guest lecturer from time to time. 😉

Speaking of...

Essek described himself as selfish and as a coward, forever putting his own wants and desires first, yet over the course of his journey with the Nein we see his priorities change drastically.

Having friends gives him people to care about, something he’s never had before, and it changes his outlook on life completely. For me, the first time we really see this is when he joins them for dinner in the Xorhaus and stops levitating. It’s a subtle thing, but meaningful. He explains that it had become an expectation of him, a quirk he’s known for, and so to feel comfortable enough around the Nein to drop that pretence is quite bold I think.

Much later, when he chooses to destroy the mini beacon they discover in Aeor in order to give everyone a long rest before the final confrontation with Lucian, he’s essentially giving up everything he betrayed his people for, just to keep his friends safe. The existence and context of that single artefact could have had an earthshattering impact on the Dynasty’s entire culture, forcing them to reevaluate their entire belief system and attitude to the Luxon, something he’d wanted from the start, something he helped start a war for, but he offered it up as a sacrifice without a second thought.

I’d say that’s a pretty big morality shift, and I’m super interested to see if Matt reveals if his alignment changed in the post campaign Q&A. I have a feeling he set him up as a potential BBEG but the party was like ‘no, you can’t have him, he’s ours now’ and that was the end of that. 😂

I think it says so much about the other characters too, that they befriended this person they barely knew, and when he was revealed to have done such terrible things, their first reaction was to give him comfort and an opportunity to atone. Jester held his hand while he confessed, and afterwards, while they didn’t immediately forgive him, they saw the good in him and wanted him to be better, which ultimately feels like what the entire campaign was about, leaving places (and people) better than they found them. It’s obvious that he’s never really had many friends before and has therefore never had the opportunity to be emotionally open with anyone, so seeing him gradually warm up to the Nein and allow himself to soften around them was really lovely to watch.

(Obviously, from a realistic moral perspective, he still fucked up big time. He’s still a godsdamned war criminal and really should have been put on trial for what he did, but I think from a narrative and personal point of view, his redemption arc was far more satisfying, so I’m glad it happened the way it did. (And not to derail but the rest of the gang have done some pretty horrific stuff as well, though perhaps not quite on the same scale)

He has a few moments towards the end that I absolutely love because they show that beneath the guilt and anguish, there’s an incredibly sweet and sensitive soul in there, just wanting acceptance. His dry jokes which often don’t quite hit, (the ‘I will punish the bakery’ line is such an under-appreciated one 😂) his simple joy at learning to garden in the Blooming Grove, and realising that he’d never been asked what his favourite food was before was actually kind of heartbreaking, because it highlighted how lonely his life must have been until that time. There was a moment pretty early on I think when he cast disguise on the party and Jester asked if he could cast it again to change the look of her outfit a bit and while he seemed to find it amusing, he refused, not wanting to waste a spell on such a frivolous request. Cut to their time in Aeor where he burns a fly spell just so he and Caleb can flirtatiously swoop around each other for a couple of minutes, all the while trying to beat Lucian to the city.

His breakdown when Molly’s resurrection failed really cemented to me how much he’d grown as a character. He never met Molly, his only knowledge of him was secondhand, through the eyes of his friends, but seeing it fail just broke him because he knew how much it hurt them to go through it all over again.

His comment to Caleb about not admitting defeat and wishing he could do more did get me wondering at the time if he was going to try and do something crazy, perhaps sacrificing himself via the Temporal Dock to make amends or somehow forcing another reroll, but I’m glad he didn’t. The conversation following that with Fjord was one of my favourites- he shows him acceptance and belief in his potential for the future, something he’s lacked for a long time, and when Caleb bluntly affirms afterwards that he is indeed an official member of the Mighty Nein, it’s the start of the rest of his life, and something he’s exceptionally grateful for.

It all leads to that final moment in Aeor with Caleb, when, presented with the opportunity to alter time and undo everything, he chooses to accept his decisions and carry the weight of his sins for the rest of his long life. That’s...huge.

He’s essentially choosing to live the rest of his existence as a fugitive, forever on the run, with no guaranteed peace or safety. He chooses to spend his life making up for his deeds, rather than looking for an easy way out.

I think that may have had a big impact on why Caleb ultimately made the same decision, as if Essek had been up for altering his timeline I think he’d have struggled to resist it himself. The conversation they had earlier in Aeor about their priorities and resisting temptation really comes to mind as well.

Now, to the relationship.

It was subtle, and not as ‘in your face’ obvious as the other characters, but I’ve been watching and hoping for a long time and I must say, it feels good to be vindicated.

(And if you have any doubt, both Matt and Liam confirmed on Twitter that their post finale relationship was 100% romantic)

I’d been hoping that Shadowgast would be a canon endgame relationship for a while, so the finale, and the aforementioned T-Dock scene in particular had me quite literally shaking with emotion as I watched live. Here you have two men, both damaged and guilt-stricken in their own ways, who find in each other a kindred spirit and a path to redemption.

They’re both very guarded and closed off people, but Essek in particular has a definite shift in the last arc of the campaign especially when it came to his interactions with Caleb. At the start he was quite aloof and stoic, though charming, and they had an instant connection through their shared love of the arcane, (anyone who couldn’t see them making heart eyes at each other when Essek was describing the different types of magic he could teach Caleb was clearly blind) but by the end he was incredibly open to showing his vulnerabilities and that takes a lot, especially for someone whose primary focus was to stay in control of every aspect of his life. The ‘Caleb, I’m scared’ moment during the Trent fight in particular made my heart ache.

No, we didn’t get a dramatic declaration of love or a cinematic mid-battle kiss, but I’d argue that their relationship was just as, if not more intimate than any of the other main characters were. They understood each other in a way the others didn’t, their shared guilt, feelings of inadequacy and their obsession with magic forged a deep connection from the get-go. Neither of them are big fans of PDA I think, though Caleb is tactile as hell (forehead touches and kisses, oh man, I’m so weak for those 😩👌) and some of their most iconic moments have them putting themselves in harm’s way to protect the other. Essek shaking off his forced guilt trip immediately after the now infamous forehead touch in ep140 was beautifully poetic, as was using his fortune’s favour to pull Caleb out of the rubble moments before. Caleb trying to include him in his Sphere of Invulnerability in the finale and Essek staying close to him the whole fight despite being obviously terrified of Trent was the icing on the cake. It’s clear that they care for each other a great deal; whether by the finale they’d consider it love is up for debate, but we know that’s eventually where it ended up and honestly, I love that. I deeply appreciated the fact Matt and Liam both emphasised that they took their time with their relationship, letting each other heal in their own way before they took the next step. All too often in media, and real life too sadly, a romantic relationship is seen as some kind of quick fix, and that a lover will somehow complete you or make all your problems vanish. They knew this wasn’t the case here, and that made it all the better.

While I would have *loved* to have seen them together as a couple right to the very end, the change in their relationship felt right, if bittersweet. I doubt they ever stopped loving each other, and if anything, choosing to shift to a deep and lifelong friendship over a romance that would cause them both so much pain is one of the kindest things you could do for someone you love. After all, friendship isn’t a downgrade, just another way of experiencing that same love, and it wasn’t as though they broke up and never saw each other again, it was pretty strongly implied that they remained a major feature in each other’s lives, they just changed their label slightly. Caleb would hate to have forced Essek to watch him wither away, and although his eventual passing would hurt Essek regardless, incompatible lifespans being what they are, having a period of time to adjust to it, to give them a buffer between the inevitable heartbreak was actually really sweet.

Their romance was no accident, they knew going in that it had a time limit, that it wasn’t going to be forever for one of them, and the fact they did it anyway says so much. They began their adventure wholeheartedly believing that they were both, in their own way incapable of love, only to later find it with each other. Whether their relationship lasted for a couple of years or multiple decades is irrelevant, what matters is that while it did they had a happy and fulfilled life together.

I know some folk wanted Caleb to use the transmogrification spell on himself so he could live on with Essek as another elf, or make him human instead, but that would have been way out of character for both I think. If they could have backwards engineered one of the rejuvenation stations in Aeor and used it to extend Caleb’s life by a hundred years or so, so he’d have a similar lifespan to Veth, now, I could have seen him possibly doing that, so he could spend more time with his best friend too, but nothing further I think. He longed to be reunited with his parents too much to postpone death unnaturally like that.

That both Caleb and Essek ultimately chose to live with their mistakes and make peace with themselves was incredibly cathartic, and I couldn’t imagine it playing out any better.

The fact Matt has explicitly stated Essek is Demi too means so much to me personally because the latter is a label I’ve been identifying with a lot recently, and it’s so rare for aspec relationships to get any representation! It has honestly given me a lot to think about over the last few days, and I really appreciate it.

To conclude, here’s a bit of shameless self promotion. I wrote this after watching the finale and honestly feel like it sums up my feelings on the nature of their relationship pretty well.

‘A casual hand on a shoulder, a waist, a wrist; a gentle kiss placed on a forehead is common between them now, an intimacy born of trust and mutual affection. Over time it grows, like a fire born of seasoned timber; gradual and steady, no spluttering kindling that flares and sparks, but a slow burn, one which lasts.

Their love is embroidered into every aspect of their lives together. Acts of service, of comfort, of understanding.

Sometimes a kiss leads to more than a kiss, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way they are content.‘

So yeah, I love these two wizard boys so very much and I couldn’t be happier with the conclusion of their stories. ❤️

[dazebrasrecs]

Fic Recs:  Critical Role (C2)

Includes: Genfic, Caleb/Clay, Caleb/Fjord, Caleb/Molly, and Caleb/Essek.  (Can you tell I have a fave boy?)

Fics marked with ~ are incomplete.

This list will not be updated.

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Gen

blue is the friendliest colour by invoked_duplicity

Length: 2k / Rating: G / Genre: Fluff / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Nott and Jester spend some time to do "girl stuff".

~Everything She's Not(t) series  by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink)

Length: 6k / Rating: T / Genre: H/C / Warnings: eventual Nott/Yeza

Summary: “You don’t have to hide from me, you know. I will not bite you.” The man’s voice was soft, thick with an accent that Nott could not identify. He didn’t look over in Nott’s direction when he spoke, just kept looking at the window.

Nott didn’t move from her corner. She liked corners in general. No one could sneak up on you when you were in a corner. Though, now that she thought about it, being in a corner meant there was no where else to go if someone was in front of you. Like everything that might offer Nott safety, there was always a catch.

“My name is Caleb,” the man said. “Caleb Widogast.”“

I’m Nott,” Nott said, because that’s what you were supposed to do when someone gave you their name, you gave yours back. Besides, talking to the stranger would at least help distract her a little.

There was a pause. “You’re not what?”

a study in attraction by invoked_duplicity

Length: 1k / Rating: T / Genre: Drama / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Caleb asks Beau about her attraction towards women. The conversation doesn't lead where Beau expects it to lead.

The Warmth of Family by FallzVentus

Length: 1k / Rating: G / Genre: Fluff / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   Caleb and Nott have been traveling for a while now. The wizard can't help but feel that Nott deserves more than the current life they live. So he decides to work towards giving her the experience of having a family.

When You Wake Up The World Will Come Around by infraredphaeton

Length: 6k / Rating: G / Genre: Fluff / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   When a chance encounter at a tavern in a very, very anti-goblin town reveals Nott's identity, Caleb casts a spell to hide her as a human- a young, human girl, who looks a lot like him. It's only natural to pretend that he's her father.  It's just. Nott didn't expect to kind of *like* having a Dad.

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Caleb/Clay

Bared by walkalittleline 

Length: 3k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  The Mighty Nein take a much needed trip to the bathhouse before departing Nicodranas.

Book Learning by walkalittleline

Length: 5k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  There are a lot of things Caduceus doesn't know. Caleb is always willing to teach, though.

Caduceus and His Book of Things He Doesn't Know

Length: 8k / Rating: T / Genre: Fluff / Warnings: N/A

Summary: Caduceus received a gift in a form of a journal from Caleb as thanks for his contribution to the Mighty Nein.  He may or may not be trying to win the firbolg's attention. Either way, Caduceus has no idea what's going on.

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait by RoyalHeather

Length: 2k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Leaning in, Caduceus pulls Caleb closer against him, his warm breath touching the back of Caleb’s neck, his earthy scent filling Caleb’s nostrils. His hands slide over Caleb’s stomach and hips; Caleb swallows hard, desire coiling up his spine. Broad fingers splayed out, Caduceus slowly brings his right hand over Caleb’s groin, letting it rest there before squeezing gently.  Caleb inhales sharply, skin prickling all over. But Caduceus just stays there, his soft nose in Caleb’s hair, one hand gripping Caleb’s hip, the other giving only the occasional, maddening rub at Caleb’s crotch. After several minutes, Caleb is ready to burst out of his skin, and he snaps, “If you are going to fuck me, Caduceus Clay, you had better do it now.”

~Kink Therapy series  by walkalittleline

Length: 28k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: BDSM, Sex Pollen, knotting, breath play

Summary:  Caleb gets a face full of sex pollen and that's all you're getting from me.

Kiss the Cook by Alarnia

Length: 8k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: BDSM

Summary:   Happily married, Caleb gets Caduceus a new apron and asks him to wear it... and nothing else, for a very special dinner.

A Little Bit Closer by walkalittleline

Length: 16k / Rating: E / Genre: Drama,AU / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy evenings out drinking with his friends. On the contrary, he welcomes the temporary respite from his own ceaseless thoughts of studying and grading papers and planning lessons and everything else he’s constantly fretting over, has no problem getting in a few drinks to let the warm haze of alcohol loosen his limbs and unwind his brain. He doesn’t, however, find much enjoyment in the too-loud music and crowded spaces of the clubs that Beau and Molly so often pick for them to frequent when they make these jaunts at the start of the weekend.

Two Minds by sabinelagrande

Length: 3k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   Caleb just needs someone who understands.

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Fjord/Caleb

anything but by MsMaarvel

Length: 2k / Rating: G / Genre: Drama/ Warnings: N/A

Summary: He needs to get more powerful. Being defeated by a lowly imp could not have been more embarrassing, and he really needed to stop owing Nott life debts. He only had one, after all. But there is one problem.

By the Winding River by mollymaukerie

Length: 4k / Rating: T / Genre: Romance / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   After the days of travel towards Zadash, Caleb takes a quick dip in a nearby stream. Fjord comes by to lend a hand not before long.

choke this love by nighimpossible

Length: 4k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: BDSM, semi-public sex

Summary: “The idea that I’m going to apologize for stopping you from sticking a sword down your throat is just—absurd,” Caleb hisses back. “Tell me you’re not going to do it again.”

Fjord feels a little like a petulant child, but he does purse his lips in anger before replying, “Funny thing: you don’t get to tell me what to do, Caleb.” As Fjord says the words, he suppresses a shiver that slithers down his back. Stop that.

Convection by SnubbingApollo

Length: 12k / Rating: E / Genre: Romance/H/C / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  The first time Fjord and Caleb share a room Beau hands Molly three silver pieces. Caleb turns so red for a moment Fjord is afraid he might faint. Fjord grumbles good-naturedly about the rudeness of betting on friends and tries not to think about the fact that they’d apparently been so obvious. He’d been waiting for Caleb to suggest telling them, knowing the man was private and still skittish with the group, but he supposes he isn’t the most… subtle flirter.

Craving You series  by MeBeThem4815

Length: 15k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: BDSM, eventual Fjord/Molly/Caleb

Summary: Caleb thought he understood what Nott had been talking about, when she talked about the itch. He had thought it was similar to when he saw a new book on arcane lore in a shop. He had thought Nott was referring to the longing and the ache in his chest when he had to, inevitably, pass the book by due to lack of funds. But now, now, now he knew better. Now he knew what an itch was.

I Gave Into Sickness (Can You Find Forgiveness) by GrannyBoo

Length: 3k / Rating: G / Genre: Angst / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Caleb's fear takes a toll on his and Fjord's relationship

~The Grunge Hobo Learns to Trust by Catzgirl

Length: 41k / Rating: E / Genre: Angst / Warnings: Violence, non-con

Summary:   Caleb is hiding some secrets from the gang, and they come back to haunt him at the very worst of times. Fjord is there to catch him.

I'm A Desert You're An Ocean (It's Your Motion That I Need) by GrannyBoo

Length: 1k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary: Fjord wasn’t sure how they’d managed to get there in the first place; a few too many ales for Caleb and whiskeys for Fjord, tantalizing promises whispered between the two at the table before Caleb excused himself to bed and Fjord, waiting until he’d finished his last glass, followed after. It took all of one second after he’d knocked on Caleb’s door to be dragged in and pressed against the wall, the smaller, slighter man pressing the entire length of his body against the half-orc’s.

Making it Work by PyrophobicDragon

Length: 2k / Rating: T / Genre: Romance / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  It becomes a little joke between the two of them.

Proving Worth by SnubbingApollo

Length: 3k / Rating: T / Genre: Romance / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Fjord is acting… strange.

something good, something strange by nighimpossible

Length: 3k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: BDSM, voyeurism

Summary: Caleb shifts his vision into Frumpkin and flies the familiar a little closer, his small bird feet wrapping around a sapling nearby. Fjord looks into the trees and gives the sparrow a quick nod before pressing a small kiss to the back of Caleb’s neck. It is an achingly soft gesture, one that Caleb does not know how to parse. And then Caleb is lost to sensation.

Thread by Crewe

Length: 2k / Rating: G / Genre: Fluff / Warnings: N/A

Summary: Fjord and Caleb develop a routine at night, Caleb reading his books and Fjord mending his and his friends' clothes.

Or: In which Caleb greatly resembles his familiar, and Fjord understands the virtues of patience, quiet, and boundaries.

till the last flower by vannral

Length: 8k / Rating: T / Genre: Angst / Warnings: N/A

Summary: The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flower petals. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.Caleb Widogast is heartbroken and very tired.

What Bravery Looks Like by Angel Ascending (angel_in_ink)

Length: 6k / Rating: G / Genre: H/C / Warnings: N/A

Summary: It had been a long night, one of those kind of long nights that had turned into a long morning, and Caleb was exhausted, the kind of exhausted that made him ache in his bones. His plan was to go back to the inn, fall onto his bed, and sleep the day around. There was an old saying, that men plan and the gods laugh.

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Molly/Cayleb

Black Skies Change into Blue by Saoto

Length: 10k / Rating: NR / Genre: Drama / Warnings: Love potions

Summary:   Caleb believes that Molly drank a love philtre that Nott stole. So to prevent him from falling in love with Caleb's "little sister", Caleb makes sure Molly looks at him instead. But somehow, Molly really does not like it when Caleb tells him that - no worries! - the feelings he has for Caleb right now are nothing but fake...

Blush by LivesToLead

Length: 3k / Rating: T / Genre: Fluff / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Four times Molly made Caleb flustered and the one time Caleb made Molly flustered.

Darkvision by Calminaiel

Length: 5k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   While the rest of the group slumbers upstairs, Caleb and Molly are alone in the darkened tavern.

~Dreams series by Nisey

Length: 18k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Mollymauk keeps having dreams about Caleb. It culminates on a day off from their travels and he must decide what to do about it.

ecstasy delivered with certainty by Lauren (notalwaysweak)

Length: 1k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   For the kink meme prompt (abbreviated): 'Caleb is now clean and pretty with directions to a sex shop, they're in a big town - it’s time to make a bit more money via the oldest profession ... maybe working gloryholes for tips at the dirty bookstore...'

Flickering Desire by Aristathelia

Length: 3k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  The heat in Mollymauk’s eyes had a questioning quality when Caleb next looked up and the wizard couldn’t help the jolt that went down his spine. Heat seemed to have gathered below his navel and tingles had gathered in his fingertips. It felt a little like when he was casting, the same electrical sizzle making him short of breath.

A Fur Lined Cloak by chaya

Length: 21k / Rating: E / Genre: Drama / Warnings: slavery, BDSM

Summary: Caleb must be a Duke for this mission, so that leaves Molly to be his... companion. You may be wondering: is this the kind of indulgent writing that includes sleeping furs, large tankards of mead, and snuggling for warmth? Dear reader, it is exactly that.

It was only a Kiss by WonderingsAndMusings

Length: 3k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   After defeating the gnolls and manticore and returning to Alfield safe, Caleb asks Molly why he kissed him. And tells him to do it again.

Kiss Through Copper by wilderswans

Length: 3k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary: Fantasy Skype Sex

North by SnubbingApollo

Length: 5k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP, H/C / Warnings: BDSM, past abuse

Summary:  Trent had been the star he’d used to find north and over time he’d forgotten how to find it himself.Except it turned out Trent had been leading him every direction but north, obscuring the whole world in fog until Caleb had forgotten the shape of things entirely. Until he could only find his way by stumbling blindly in whatever direction Trent had pointed.And now Trent is gone. The fog has been pulled away but Caleb still can’t see. He doesn’t remember how.

only forward by invoked_duplicity

Length: 1k / Rating: G / Genre: H/C / Warnings: panic attacks

Summary:  Molly panics. Caleb tries to comfort him. 

Snowed In by MeBeThem4815

Length: 10k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: BDSM, blood play

Summary: When a snow storm separates Caleb and Molly from the rest of the Nein, antics ensue.This is just pure, self indulgent porn to get me back on the writing train after an illness. You're welcome.

Stammtisch by chaya

Length: 28k / Rating: E / Genre: Fluff / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Someone asked for "The Nein's first experience in Mordenkainen's mansion after Caleb learns to cast it". This is literal world-building so of COURSE it got really long and involved.

A Useful Little Spell by threerings

Length: 5k / Rating: E / Genre: Smut / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   Caleb uncovers a promising new spell but unfortunately it requires two people. Two people having sex.

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Caleb/Essek

Calculated Risks by Cardinal_Daughter

Length: 3k / Rating: M / Genre: Romance / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   Caleb knows a calculated risk when he sees one.

hearts are too heavy a burden to bear alone by personalized_radio

Length: 10k / Rating: M / Genre: AU, Romance / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   Caleb Widowgast is the only student to show up to Essek's study hours. Caleb...is not enrolled in the class or the program, but Essek has to be here anyway and Caleb has the book and is determined to learn. Also he brings Essek coffee every single time and it's never the same but always delicious so Essek doesn't mind explaining the basics or going over concepts between lesson planning in exchange. Caleb has very pretty eyes.

Honesty by aunt_zelda

Length: 4k / Rating: M / Genre: PWP / Warnings: BDSM 

Summary:  Essek waits. Perhaps he is supposed to guess the likeliest offer and spare Caleb the embarrassment of asking? He keeps his mouth shut, waiting, watching Caleb wrestle internally with his shame and desires. It’s an engaging sight.  

“I want you to use me.” Caleb says at last. 

Ah. Ambiguous language, to a less discerning individual. Essek understands, but wishes to draw it out from Caleb’s own lips. “Use you?” he lingers on the syllables. “Yes, to ferret out spies from the Empire. We’ve discussed this.”

Caleb shakes his head in a twitching movement. “No. Not like that.” His hands fail briefly in agitation. He’s coming apart at the seams, this man. Essek very much wants to know what’s hidden underneath.

(Mis)Trust in Me by MoonwalkingCrab

Length: 31k / Rating: E / Genre: Romance / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Caleb is torn. He has been trained to get what he wants from people, and so often he has. But something feels different this time.  Now he is hesitant to trust his own impulses. Is it really just his training kicking in, or does he simply want to spend time with Essek for no ulterior reason?

The Only Way Is Essik's by supersonica

Length: 8k / Rating: E / Genre: PWP / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  Leaning a little closer so his breath could brush Caleb’s oddly round ear, Essik said, softly, “If you’d like, you could visit my library this evening, Herr Widogast.”

“Is that a euphemism?” Caleb asked, snorting. “It’s not a very appealing one.”

Essik rolled his eyes. “No, I—what do you take me for? I do actually have a private library, feel free to come by after dinner. And also,” he made a very quick decision about how good the hearing range of Caleb’s companions probably was.  “I don’t need a euphemism to say I’d quite like you to suck my cock.”

What's sexier than wizards NOTHING by Dweebspace

Length: 7k / Rating: E / Genre: Romance / Warnings: N/A

Summary:  “Is this still you wanting to do magic?” Essek asks. There is a vulnerability to his voice that Caleb hasn’t heard before from the shadowhand, though he recognizes it. Fear of rejection. Fear of being used. Fear of being a means to an end.

“No,” he says, “This is you. You are very clever and very attractive.” He clears his throat. “This is me wanting you.”

Zero to Sixty by indefensibleselfindulgence

Length: 2k / Rating: E / Genre: AU / Warnings: N/A

Summary:   Caleb is new in town, but at least Hot Uber Driver is nice.

[adrischrv]

REGNUM [L.H] - Chapter 5

Author´s Note: Chapter 5 of my king!luke fic already, we finally meet Duke!Michael tho! English is not my first language so lemme know if there are any mistakes. 

Word count: 3,808

C1 - C2 - C3 - C4

I have never felt so nervous. Not even the day I arrived at Gardenstone did I remember feeling the headache and tension that had been eating away at me since the night before. 

I´d committed great disrespect to the King. I had hurt Luke who- no matter how much he deserved it- was still a possible ally. I could hear my mother scolding me once I was in front of her: “I raised you better than this! You are the Princess of Maredale, Amberly Sarah Campbell! Are you proud of your actions? Your actions affect the entire kingdom and you forgot all about it…" 

“Your Highness” Calum spoke on the other side of the door. I opened it and he didn’t smile. “The King wants to see you. The parliament is gathered together with His Majesty Ashton and Queen Elizabeth.”

“Let’s go.”

I avoided the looks at all costs. I did not want to show the fear in my eyes as we walked to the parliament office in the farthest part of the palace. I wouldn’t let Luke look at me either. He would call me a coward and I would not be able to deny it, after all - I was the cowardly princess. 

I was lost enough reliving Luke’s words in my head that I hadn’t noticed when we arrived at the office. I did not greet the parliament, a mistake my mother would repeat to me until the end of time.

Calum escorted me to a table with them around at a considerable distance sitting seriously in their seats, with Luke in front of me behind a dais and Ashton behind him. I barely got a good look at him, nor did we make eye contact. 

Murmurs began to pour out around me, I couldn’t tell anything from them. I let my head formulate its phrases; surely they were a punishment. 

Luke took a few seconds before he shut up the parliament, looked at me waiting for me to say something.

He was giving me a chance to defend myself before I was sentenced. 

“I’m sorry.”

My voice was loud and firm enough to achieve silence and get attention. Luke leaned over on the dais inviting me to continue. 

“I’m deeply sorry, Your Majesty. I know what I did was truly disrespectful and I regret it.” 

From the corner of my eye I saw Ashton whispering something to Calum, he stood up and lowered his shoulders in confusion. Luke’s gaze remained fixed on me for a few seconds, he lowered it, and with a mocking smile, he stood upright again.

“Although your apology was touching, Princess, that’s not why you’re here today.”

Oh…

… What a piece of shit. 

“An informant arrived in the early morning from the Gardenstone/Maredale border, apparently there are people-families who have decided to cross that border without the use of official documents thanks to a petition that was approved. The people who cross from Maredale to live with their relatives in Gardestone are asking to have a voice in this kingdom, someone to represent them.”

I had warned him, I did. He signed a petition without reading it and these were the consequences. My mother must have found out days before and this was Luke’s way of dealing with his mistakes without fully recognizing them. Nothing foolish about that. 

“Migration has always existed, Your Majesty, why are you asking for this representation now?” 

He had more than understood what I was getting at but since I had humiliated myself in front of parliament, the most I could do was to see Luke dismantle his intentions in the wake of his mistakes. 

He rolled his eyes, he knew well what I wanted. 

“It was not necessary before since this migration was moderate. Now, they can come and go as they please, something that had not been considered possible except for the union that Maredale and Gardestone were going to make.”

"They were”, not “they are” or even “they could”… he really didn’t like the idea. 

“Due to this lack of control we will give them what they need and the parliament present with me has come to the conclusion that it is you, your highness” He began to talk heavily, it was hard for him to ask for help. “If you wish to extend your stay in Gardestone, the position of Ambassador is available and eager to be filled.”

Bingo. 

This was my chance to be something more, to be useful. My mouth and my thirst to be needed again were ready to say yes…

“It would be an honor to represent my kingdom in this way… but first, I would like a moment alone with His Majesty, if possible.”

In the background, Ashton smiled with approval at my action. I heard my mother’s heels in the distance.

I took the way the parliament cleared the room too quickly as a silent “Thank you”. Something told me that moments before the discussion with their new King had not pleased them and had left them tired. 

Luke came down from the dais, hands in his pockets and a tired, disinterested expression but still hard enough to make people kiss his feet. Emphasis on “the people”- me being the exception. 

“So? What does the little Maredale beetle have to say?” He laughed when I opened my mouth in protest. “Don’t start, be thankful that last night’s slap will only cost you the mockery.”

He wasn’t just talking about the nickname. 

“Why didn’t you tell me what this was all about before…?”

“What for? You humiliated yourself pretty well on your own. And yet I stopped you before I got you down on your knees in front of me… Don’t worry, you’ll do that on another more private occasion. That’s the equivalent of another nickname, dipstick.”

Asshole. 

Although his words served the purpose of distracting me, I had to get back to the important issue where I was in control. Because he needed me, to see him admitting it was far from happening but I could take that tiny advantage. 

“I accept the position, representing my people,“ I spoke out, or so I thought. “On one condition… I want to be treated as such.”

The laughter that he sent out echoed through the room, at least all the people in the corridor had heard it. 

“I’m serious,” I said. He mockingly composed himself. “We are both sick of dealing with the princess. As long as I’m an ambassador I’ll make a living on my own, you can pretend the princess isn’t here and I’ll keep her quiet. I promise. I just want to help.”

He raised an eyebrow with interest. 

“That means you’d be serving me too, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

I tried to hide my doubts from his words. If I wanted to be respected I really had to stop living in my mother’s shadow. I couldn’t give up the title, but this deal was taciturn and only until my obligations needed the part of me with a kingdom as my inheritance. 

Besides, the princess had nothing to do but observe Luke’s poor decisions. In this way, I would also observe Luke’s poor decisions - even more closely, but I could satiate the needs of the Maredans and I could do so with my own voice. 

“I’m serious.” I analyzed the remnants of doubt in him. “Don’t worry about my mother, I’ll talk to her and she’ll understand, I know.“

He snorted, caressed the cheek on which my slap was. He put his hand down and walked over to me, holding it out. 

He said, “We have a deal, prin… Amberly.”

The title change made me smile, just a little, as I shook his hand. Then I saw his blue eyes with malice tints disguised. I understood the discreet warning he had given me seconds before, "That means you’d be serving me too, you don’t know what you’re saying,” and no, I didn’t. 

¥

My hand shook slightly when I turned the knob in the room my mother was occupying. I walked in a circle down the hall five minutes earlier, organizing my thoughts and how I would explain the business of being an ambassador. After all, I was qualified to be an ambassador; those classes were not in vain. Even if I wasn’t running a country, something was better than nothing and I would defend my position. 

“Amberly?” 

She spoke from her seat in front of the dresser as a couple of maids packed their things, walking back and forth.

“Go ahead, little one. I was going to look for you before I left just as parliament was meeting”  I felt invited into the room by the gesture of her hand, as elegant as ever. “I thought you would be with King Ashton or his sister.”

“Oh, no,“ I said, taking a seat in the corner of his bed. “By the way, what do you think of them, Mother?”

She moved the cigarette holder she was holding in one hand, looking for the answer to my question.

“They are both here while their political advisor directs and cares for Lauxwell. It’s a risky move… Do you know why they do it, to visit Gardenstone?”

Great, I had gotten a trivia lesson by accident. 

I forced myself to think about it, curious that I hadn’t done it before. “One, to show Luke that even if it was for a few lousy months they had more experience running a country. And two, analysis of territory; to know if Gardenstone would be willing to make the alliance with them instead of Maredale. I already see that as impossible, Mother. King Luke hates Ashton.” 

And me. But he hated Ashton more. 

I could bet that Luke would make that change.

“What do you think of him?”

He wasn’t really bad like everyone said. I found Luke eviler than most people, but Ashton… 

“He shows dedication to his people, the simple fact of recognizing the damage his ancestors have done is very… sincere,” I answered, without thinking of his other qualities or the friendship (or something more than that) that was growing between us. “I heard that they began to forgive debts.”

“Lauxwell doesn’t forgive debts, the Irwins don’t forgive debts… they just stop collecting for a while.”

The thought of Ashton collecting the kiss we might have had the other night was fleeting and went away instantly.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something else.”

“I’m listening.”

As if she knew what I was going to talk about, she put on a voice that had frightened me since I was a little girl: her queen voice.

“I accepted to be an ambassador” Her silence indicated that I could continue: “It is necessary that the people who come from our kingdom know that there is someone advocating for them. Luke - King Luke has approved a petition for the free movement between the two -”

“If this is your way of throwing a tantrum because the alliance didn’t work out, give me five seconds and I’ll talk to the King.”

“It’s not that, not at all, and please don’t do it,“ I asked, my nerves were stable but I couldn’t find the courage anywhere. “I want to make a living here, be useful here.”

She sighed a couple of times before speaking again, that’s what she did when she was arguing with herself. 

“I guess if you accepted you know the consequences. My political power can’t get in the way if something doesn’t feel right in your new job…”

Triumphant with the results of this talk, I threw myself at her in a tight hug.

“Good luck, child. You’re going to need it.”

“Thank you” I let out the air I didn’t know I was holding. “Thank you, Mother.”

“Save your thanks for when I get back. I hope to return and see something new in the King, for a change” We both laugh. “Keep an eye on him, so that he doesn’t give me any more trouble with my border. I love you.”

“I love you.” 

¥

“I guess it went well,” Ashton leaned against the door frame. “How do you feel, Maredale Ambassador?”

“Pretty… good,“ I smiled.

His body language betrayed him, it seemed he wanted to come into the room and maybe say goodbye to my mother or ask her for some advice, but something was holding him back. He noticed that I noticed. 

“Come with me. Luke asked me to introduce you to… a colleague.”

I nodded, interlocked my arm with his in a strangely familiar act and we started walking. 

“Will you tell me a little about your "colleague”?”

“First I need the details of the prank you pulled, why did you apologize to Luke?”

“I slapped him last night, he had nothing important to say to me and started talking nonsense.”

Ashton laughed without discretion, his laugh was very nice. 

“Typical of him, I’m glad you did,“ he said proudly, leading us to another part of the palace I hadn’t seen before, "not the apologizing part. Don’t do it, he doesn’t deserve it.”

I played with the long sleeve of my jacket, accidentally pulling his. Instead of getting angry, he held my hand.

“His name is Michael. Son of Queen Susan’s sister, Luke’s cousin, Duke of Greenbush, and your boss,” he explained. “There are no ambassadors, you’re the first, so Luke had to create a system…”

“He needs an alibi in case something goes wrong and my mother arrives asking for someone’s head, he made sure it wasn’t his,” I analyzed aloud. “What a… coward.”

It was liberating somehow to use the word with someone who wasn’t me, for once. 

“Why do you know him?” I asked as we walked out of some doors. 

“Before, many years ago my father used to visit Gardenstone and bring us on his travels. Luke, Calum, and Michael were the only kids I could talk to… and fight with,“ he looked at the horizon, revisiting his memories

We stopped at what looked like a very perched and forgotten greenhouse behind the palace. The vines covered it quite well, from a distance it looked like a giant pot. Who knows how many animals had made their home there. 

“Good morning, Princess Amberly… and Ashton.”

A blond hair appeared behind our backs. Michael’s beard made him look a little big but he bet he was the same age as Calum. He looked formal but not at all scary or anything like his cousin. 

Ashton gently slid his hand out of mine, taking a step towards him. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

“And we needed more than a while,” Michael replied rather dryly. “If you’ll excuse us, Amberly and I have work to do.”

Ashton nodded, came over and put a kiss on my cheek, and then left. I was left reliving the softness of his lips. 

“Are you guys dating?”

Michael’s voice came back. Boss. Work. Focus. 

“Ashton and I? No, not at all.” I said quickly. “So… where’s the workplace?”

In a far-from-elegant gesture, Michael pointed to the greenhouse. He was joking, he had to be… 

“Luke didn’t want to spend so much on building an office, so part of the budget will go to remodeling this greenhouse,“ he said disinterestedly. “Sadly you can’t remodel if you have all those plants and soil and… diseases. That’s your first task, see you when you’re done!”

“I can’t do it alone is-”

“-Of course you can, Luke said you could…”

Luke was an asshole. 

¥

I had spent my whole afternoon in the greenhouse. I took out plants, pulled out beetles, and even moved a family of birds from there, and yet it seemed like I had only tickled it. My hands were broken, I thought about wearing gloves but it was too late and the guards said Luke had given orders not to give me any tools. Just what I needed.

I shook off my black pants and the browner than white blouse I was wearing once not a ray of sunshine was present in the sky. I headed back to the palace through the kitchen entrance. Some servants greeted me, a friend of Lidia’s offered me an apple that I accepted with enthusiasm and we even talked about the stories of ghosts that haunted the place. Somewhat shaken, I walked through the great hall. 

I hadn’t visited the place since the incident, just getting close gave me the creeps. I couldn’t help but remember the faces of the kings and Prince Jake. Sometimes I thought about what I would be doing if such a terrible event had not happened and I found a picture of Gardenstone and Maredale together, Jake and I on the throne and none of the self-centered Luke present; I would have made a deal with Lauxwell just to get him away from me. 

A hand touched my shoulder, my reflexes and self-defense classes came out, taking the hand and twisting it on the attacker’s back. The blonde hair scared me for a moment, if it had been Luke I wouldn’t have forgiven myself, but thanks to the Sea it was Michael. 

“That’s my hand!” He shouted I let go. “Didn’t anyone teach you not to hurt people?”

“Didn’t they teach you to announce yourself before touching a lady’s shoulder in the dark, Duke?”

He snorted. A few steps were heard in the room, it was enough to look at Michael’s face to know that he had heard them too. Without thinking twice, we hid behind two pillars. 

“It’s none of your business, Ashton.”

Luke’s voice echoed. I looked at Michael a few steps away, we both let go of the air.

He pointed to the doors I had entered, no doubt we could get out of the room if we were careful enough with the squeaking door. I shook my head and whispered, "It’s noisy.”

“I still don’t understand the game you’re playing…” Luke’s voice was much closer. 

Michael ran a finger down his throat with humor. If we didn’t leave our presence was going to be suspicious and punished. 

“I’m not surprised, you were always very slow. But I hope that when you find out, you’ll let me know. If it’s not too late.”

A servant came out of the kitchen leaving the door ajar. Perfect. 

“…She has the last word, don’t forget,” I heard Ashton say before leaving.

Michael and I ducked, carefully passing through the door. Just to be safe, we went all the way back to the greenhouse. 

“Why did we do that?!” I exclaimed.

“I…“ he hesitated a bit. “The place was scary.”

I nodded, chills ran down my skin again. 

“What were you doing there, Duke?”

He ran a hand through his hair, looked at the greenhouse, and answered. 

“I wanted to see the salon once more, they will soon start rebuilding it. I spent a lot of time there as a child,” he looked through the greenhouse. “You did a good job for the first day…”

“Thank you, it was difficult without the gloves but-”

“Without the gloves? Did you work without gloves?” he asked, I nodded and showed him my hands. “For the Forest… that was what was missing. I’ll talk to Luke, I don’t think you’re as bad as he says. “

Of course, he had told him I was bad, maybe then he wouldn’t be guilty of treating me badly. 

He went over to the greenhouse, looking at the big pots that were blocking the entrance. 

“Do you mind if I give you a hand with these?”

“I don’t need your help, Duke.”

He clicked his tongue. 

“Call me Michael, no problem. I won’t be here tomorrow, let me help you.”

He seemed genuine, and since he mentioned it he did need help carrying those pots. 

I nodded, we both took a big pot from both ends and started lining them up on the side of the greenhouse. 

“What did you do to upset him, my cousin?” he spoke after releasing the second pot. 

“Today or since he has known me?” We loaded the third one. “I have a couple of ideas but whatever the reason, he earned my displeasure in the same way.”

We let go of the pot, heading for the other one. 

“This one is broken,“ he said when we picked it up. “He said you were a… coward,” he panted. 

The words came back to me in Luke’s voice, distracting me enough to let go of the grip on my side of the pot. It hit the corner of the greenhouse, and Michael and I squatted to pick up the mess. 

“Yes, I heard it,“ I muttered, pulling pieces of the pot off. 

“And? Will you prove him wrong?”

I passed Michael’s question unnoticed as my fingernails bumped into something hard in the dirt. I took the material out and shook it aside, a set of three metal keys with unrecognizable details gleaned through the soil

“Keys.” I put them in his hands. “Do you recognize them?”

“No, but I can bet they open a passage,” he admired them for a few seconds and placed them back in my hands. “Finders keepers, I guess.”

I put them in the pocket where my Jhin was to show them to Lidia in the morning. 

Michael stopped talking about Luke and we talked about his life at the palace and the visits he made every Christmas. It seemed to be a tradition that Queen Susan invited her family to cook delicious desserts and cut wood while King Robert’s family had been away for a long time. 

After a few minutes, the entrance to the greenhouse was free and ready to be fixed but that would wait a few hours. 

“I’d better tell His Majesty about my departure tomorrow, so we’ll know what torture awaits you,“ he joked.

...He joked?

We walked up the stairs to Luke’s quarters, a light under his door indicated that he was still awake. There was sobbing coming from below, I didn’t know whether to warn me or run away. 

“Is it… him?” I asked, not bothering to hide my surprise. 

Michael didn’t either, he was as perplexed as I was at the door. 

“I’ll leave you the directions in a note, your maid will give it to you in the morning.”

His indication was enough to start my way to my room. From my shoulder, I could see Michael opening Luke’s door. A girl came out fully dressed and closed the door behind her. 

I turned my thoughts off halfway through, I would not analyze the situation thoroughly. Luke wasn’t sobbing, it must have been that girl. Now, he was bringing more brunette girls than blondes, who knows what would have changed.

[chucksbruins]

author’s note:  First of all I need to say the biggest thank you to everyone who took the time to read the first part, you all left so many amazingly kind messages and I was absolutely blown away! A special shoutout to @seggstars and @psychospeak-blog for being so encouraging <3 If you ever feel so inclined, I’d love to talk to you guys so feel free to drop into my asks and let me know your favorite lines and any predictions you might have for this fic!!

word count: 2.5k

warnings: drinking, swearing

Part 1

c2. Unexpected and Unprepared

I was completely and utterly exhausted as I slumped onto the now familiar barstool of Pel’s Pub. Five weeks had passed since my first visit to the small bar, whose heavy wooden door served to be a beacon of warmth against the bitter cold nights that settled in Dallas during February. Having grown up in Philly,I thought I was prepared for any sort of weather but Dallas was testing me more than I had expected. The cool nights failed to be accompanied by a familiar white dusting, leaving only barren trees and my breath in front of me with nothing to force me to appreciate the time of year.

I’d found myself frequenting Pel’s at the end of every week, finding comfort in the dim lights and murmured conversations of the other regular patrons. Pel and his wife Alice truly fit the mold of what I’d expected from the South, always greetingher with a welcoming smile and a genuine kindness expressed through long conversations over pitchers of good beer. I’d learned the two had met their sophomore year of college – Pel the school’s football kicker and Alice his quiet but feisty English TA. Pel could talk for hours about how lovely his wife was and the girl couldn’t help but always smile goofily, the warm beer-induced flush extending from her cheeks deep into her heart. It was nice, I thought, to be reminded of what true love looked like – a stark contrast to the definition of love that I had believed in for the past decade.

“You seem tired today hon’, everything alright?” Alice asked, sliding a beer across the counter to rest in front of her.

I let out a heavy sigh, “Just exhausted, I knew teaching fifth grade was going to be a hands-on job I just don’t think I realized how hands on it really was.”

That was the truth – I had wanted to be an elementary school teacher for as long as I could remember, and I knew from my years of interning in classrooms as a teaching assistant that teaching meant way more than just being a glorified babysitter, but nothing could prepare me for what it was like to have a classroom all on your own. The twenty-three kids who lined up outside my classroom door every morning were, in my unbiased opinion, just about the best group of kids a first time teacher could ask for. However, that didn’t mean they didn’t exhaust me with their endless questions and energy, and after five weeks of running after them day after day, I was ready to crawl under the covers and hide there until the only way I was setting foot back into that classroom was if our principal physically dragged her.  

There were other parts of teaching that I hadn’t been prepared for either – the complete and utter lack of funding for supplies, let alone decorations meant I had squeezed every extra penny I could find into crayons, stickers, posters and wallpaper to distract from the dismal grey brick walls but the room still resembled a prison cell more than it did a welcoming classroom.

Alice chuckled, “I bet those kids just absolutely adore you, I know I would have loved for our Aiden to end up with you as his teacher – maybe then he’d have liked school a bit more!”

I smiled tiredly and let out a small laugh, “I don’t think I’ll be getting any awards for being a life-changing teacher any time soon”

“Well not with that attitude hon’! I’ll leave ya be, don’t want to sound too much like your mother, I’m sure you get enough of it as is”

I stared wide-eyed at Alice before forcing my face to normalcy, shooting the woman my best attempt at a smile and hoped she hadn’t noticed the momentary freeze, but before I could get too lost in thought I heard the barstool beside me scrape against the floor.

“A teacher, eh?”

Of course. Of freaking course he would show up tonight of all nights when my hair hadn’t been washed in two three days with my face bare and limbs thrown into a pair of leggings and old, ratty Dartmouth t-shirt. Not that I had dressed up all the other times I had dragged myself to Pel’s, but I’d at least made the effort of having showered in the last 24 hours on the off chance that the annoying brunette would make an appearance. I did try to shower daily for reasons other than maybe seeing a boy, but he was definitely at the back of my mind the couple of other times I’d considered showing up to Pel’s a little bit greasy. After five weeks and no reappearance, I figured I was safe and yet here I sat, face-to-face with the bearded not-so-stranger from my first visit to the bar.

“Fifth grade” I responded, hoping short answers would give the boy the hint that I wasn’t in the mood for his flirting tonight.

“Damn, wish I’d had you as my fifth-grade teacher, maybe I wouldn’t have dropped out in middle school if I knew I had you to make proud,” he flashed his eyebrows, shooting me a grin that was growing all too familiar for my liking – as was the feeling in my stomach that occurred every time he flashed it.

“Pretty sure you can’t drop out until high school bud, you must have been a real delinquent if they let you give up that early”

He barked out a laugh, his grin never faltering.

“I’m just kidding, wanted to see if I could get a smile out of you. You’ll be happy to know I never actually dropped out – some might have even called me a star student”

I couldn’t help myself from rolling my eyes, shooting him the most unimpressed look I could muster.

“Let me guess, you slept with all your teachers?”

“Just the hottie in the administrative office who could hack the system and change all my grades.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, a giggle escaping my lips before I could trap my lip in my teeth to stop any more laughter from escaping. He was so obviously a fuckboy it was almost comical, but I had to hand it to him for how easily it seemed to come to him. I’d encountered too many guys to count who were just straight up assholes with such an obvious disregard for the idea of respecting women, but it was clear the man standing in front of me wasn’t like that. He was just a natural smooth talker whose good looks had obviously gotten him through life judging by the expensive watch that adorned his left wrist. Maybe he was a model or something.

“So Eliza Mae, you’re a teacher, I’m guessing you went to Dartmouth which means you’re a real nerd and you like to spend your free time drinking alone in this pub – I’ve heard AA can really change your life, might want to look into it,’ he joked, his grin and gleaming eyes just begging you to get fired up.

“You always insult the girls you’re trying to sleep with?”  I asked, raising an eyebrow as my mouth pulled into a smirk.

“Who said I was trying to sleep with you?”  

“I’m a female, aren’t I?” I shot back, taking another sip of my beer to hide the flush that had erupted across my cheeks.

He laughed again, this stupid loud belly laugh that caused him to throw his head back before settling his eyes on me once again.

“Touché Eliza Mae, touché”

“It’s just Eliza, and it doesn’t seem fair that you know not only my first and middle name and you haven’t even bothered to tell me yours.”

He looked a little bit surprised at my comment, probably thrown by the fact that I would even care to know what his first name was after my harsh response to his attempts to chat me up.

“It’s Tyler,” he said “Tyler uh, Seguin”

“You sure? You seem a bit hesitant about the last name, sure you’re not just trying to pull a fast one on me?”

He laughed again, “Nope, I promise Eliza Mae that’s my real name, trust me if I was trying to ‘pull a fast one you’ I would not have given you that name.”

“What, are you in witness protection or something?”  I asked, slightly confused.

“Witness – no, no” he said before leaning in a bit closer. “I’m a professional hockey player for the Dallas Stars,” he explained, the expression on his face making it clear he expected me to be utterly flabbergasted by this new information. While I had to admit, I definitely respected all the hard work and sacrifice that it took to get to that level, I had never been a huge hockey girl –  I was much more inclined to sit in a cold football stadium than I was any hockey rink. It wasn’t that I was unimpressed with the fact that he played hockey, the news just didn’t exactly entice me to drop my pants for him right there – it wasn’t like the guy invented penicillin or anything.

“Oh, that’s cool I guess,” was all that I allowed myself to give him, smirking at how my indifference caused a look of obvious surprise to overtake his dark features.

“It’s not nearly as noble a profession as becoming a teacher, but most girls would think it was pretty impressive that I made it in the league,” he teased, his surprise replaced by his resting state of overconfidence.

“That’s the whole reason for playing though, right? The girls I mean,”  I teased right back.

“The girls and the free stuff,” he cracked, his eyes playful as they met my own.

For the second time that night, my only response was to laugh as I took another swig of my beer mug, which was significantly emptier than it had been at the start of my conversation with Tyler.  Before I could muster an equally witty response, he opened his mouth to speak again.

“Seriously though, teachers deserve way more credit than they get – I mean all of my school teachers deserve a medal for having to put up with me, your kids are lucky to have you. Although if you’re half as feisty with them as you are with me I bet you’ve scared them all into behaving,” he teased again and I was defenseless against the blush that threatened to creep across my cheeks. After twenty minutes of banter, the contrast of his sincerity made his words just that much more meaningful. No matter how confident they may seem or how many hours they spent shadowing, any new teacher will tell you how terrified they are of messing something up. Eliza believed so strongly in how important a good education was and the last thing I would ever want was to leave my students unprepared and set up to struggle when they moved up to middle school next year, so Tyler’s words warmed my heart – no matter how unfounded they might be.

I muttered a shy ‘thanks’ into my mug as I took another large gulp of my beer, hoping the liquid would wash down the butterflies that had crept into my stomach as a result of his words. Tyler noticed the now almost-empty mug and gestured to Pel to send down two more.

“Oh I really shouldn’t” I protested, “it’s getting pretty late so I should get going.”

The look of disappointment that flashed across his features wasn’t lost on her, although it was probably born more out of the realization he had spent thirty minutes talking to a girl and wasn’t going to get rewarded with sex than anything else.

“Here,” he gestured, “let me follow myself on my Instagram so I can follow you back” he said as he reached for my phone, but I pulled it close to my chest before he could grab it from my hands.

“I don’t have an Instagram,” I explained, shrugging my shoulders with a semi-apologetic look as he dropped his outstretched hand next to my own on the counter. Brushing the tips of his fingers over mine, his eyes darkened and his voice dropped – I recognized it as his attempt to sound sexy and while I wasn’t going to say it didn’t work, it was more amusing than anything else.

“How am I gonna get in touch with you then?” he asked, acting as if he couldn’t walk into any bar in town and instantly get laid by fifty other girls.

“Well funnily enough, Instagram isn’t the only app to exist on your phone – there’s this thing called ‘Messages’ that some people use to text and even a phone app in case you ever, god forbid, need to call somebody. But I don’t like to give out my number to strangers so I guess you’ll just have to wait until next time we see each other to convince me to hand that out”

Taking a final swig of my beer, I stood – slightly more off balance than I’d anticipated, the effect of the beer and adrenaline resulting in me being just a tad more inebriated than I’d planned on getting tonight. As I wobbled his large hand shot out to my waist, gripping through my t-shirt just above my hip bone to steady me.

“Next time, eh Eliza Mae?” he asked, his grip on my waist just barely tightening, squeezing before he dropped his hand back to rest on his knee.

Despite the tangle of flustered thoughts that flooded the lonely horny part of my brain, I forced myself to hold his gaze. Professional fuckboy or not, I was not about to let him know how much his simple touch had affected her.

‘God,’ I thought ‘get it together Eliza.’

My only response was to roll my eyes as I slung my bag over my shoulder and stepped away from him, trying to put as much distance between his hand and the burning skin above my hip.

Giving him one last smile, I strolled away from him until I was leaning against the heavy door preparing myself for the inevitable cold that awaited me outside.  Giving Tyler one last look over my shoulder, I couldn’t help but smirk when I found his eyes still staring after her.

“Goodnight, Travis” I called, finally shoving open the door as I pulled the scarf tighter around my neck before stepping out into the cold.

The last thing I heard before the door slammed shut was the deep, melodic laughter that I knew belonged to only one patron of the bar – and suddenly, the warmth that filled my chest made it so that the night air didn’t seem so bitter cold anymore.

[hidden-not-isolated]

Hidden, Not Isolated [C2]

On the following day, hell struck. 

On the following day, it rained.

- - -

Plop.

Snapping back to consciousness, his awakening supported alongside a startled twitch whilst his briefly bewildered eyes had rapidly flickered a few times in surprise as he took a moment to fear-filled-ly realize the heavy drop that had splattered upon contact with his forehead, was a droplet of water, evident to the feeling that he got when it had literally plummeted upon him and a swift touch of the palm which instinctively turned into a wipe.

After taking a quick glimpse at his now somewhat wet hand, his head steadily began to promptly turn upwards and towards the sky, curious to see if it was anything else than what he inwardly knew it was or was a different cause that would significantly relieve his mind, one-hundred-and-ten-percent. After all, even if it was unlikely, had it be anything of a recently fractured pipe or other, he would be able to swiftly shift two feet to the left and get him and his mind back to sleep.

Sleep.

The water woke him.

The water woke him.

The water woke him from an incredibly peaceful illusion of where he wasn’t even aware that he would ultimately be unmercifully dragged back to the reality of where he was stunk in the same spot, him not even being able to complete his self-mission with the astonishingly high risk of someone spotting him and calling the police, the police to take him to a jail where all of his freedom would be restricted and stripped from him significantly. Or, you know, just to die.

Plop.

His head instinctively snapped back to the alleyway.

Slow pitter-patter. 

Keeping his head down, right eye shut, he glanced upwards slightly with his free vision, a fearful expression in tow.

Just constant pitter-patter.

His mind was so petrified of the whirlwind of the day he just had at that point, that he denied facts, “I’ll be fine...” 

I mean, facts were always the things that he had once lent towards, shakily muttering that to no one but the nighttime’s atmosphere. His eyes being closed, him shying his eyes with his uncontrollably quivering hands like a child cowarding in their closet, did nothing physically for him. However, mentally is where there’s something to be said. Maybe, just maybe, if he could stay in this one position for however long it takes, solutions would just come to him without him doing a thing himself...yes, of course!

There was hope! Surely! Everything has a happy ending! Everyone gets a second chance! Everything will be okay! Yes, and now his happy ending is even closer! And even closer! And yet again! It’s all about patience, perseverance! Nothing can last forever! In good ways too! Everything gets resolved at one point or another! Any moment now! Of course! 

Any moment now!

Any moment now!

Any moment now!

Not that he was smiling or anything.

Internally, he could hear his subconscious informing him in his mind of things he already knew, though he continuously refused to accept the facts at each and every opportunity possible. Honestly, his subconscious wasn’t at fault though. It was the voice of reason, not him. It wasn’t scolding him for running away from his problems. It wasn’t telling him unnecessarily negative things. It was just calmly and casually mentioning him of his responsibilities and he was drastically overreacting. He knew that. Shut up, shut up, shut up...

What are you doing...?

You can’t just stay here forever.

Everybody needs food and water sometime.

It hasn’t even been as much as a day yet.

If this is how every day is going to go, what would be of point of where you just give up?

Can you truly back to that kind of isolation once again?

Then again, what choice do you have?

If someone spots you, you’re gone.

What are you going to do?

Dragging the heavy weight that was his legs upwards, he painstakingly buried his expression in his knees, gathering himself up and into a trembling sphere to run away from his problems in a sense that he wanted to just evade of the subject of this horrid reality itself for a while, even if he knew that it wasn’t going to last forever and would plausibly be difficult to get a good-night’s-sleep with the hopeless rain beating. 

Forcing himself to overlook that typical ounce of common-sense, his eyelids developed heavier and heavier once again, encouraging him to disregard the frigid liquid repeatedly plunging onto his being again and again as he gradually began to weaken into an unconscious status once again.

CRASH.

The somewhat outcry that had immediately ejected from his mouth instinctively was nothing in comparison to the roaring crack of thunder overhead, accompanied amidst a blinding outburst of lightning in the atmosphere. He had uncontrollably flinched violently in backlash to the sound in the background, obviously awakening before he hesitantly twisted his head upwards, finding himself gawking at the immeasurable sky above. The pitch-black sky just seemed to be so vast and endless all-so-suddenly; he could barely remember the normally azure sky anymore; the normally azure sky that illuminated the town so he could easily locate every possible ambush spot. After all, any central would constantly be freely roaming with criminals inhabiting the enigmatic shadows of which nobody would think to look for the sinner evading deserved consequence.

I mean,

When you phrase it like that,

It sounds kind of like Soren.

But I’m not sure he’s a big fan of irony. 

CRASH.

His frightened outcry echoed in the atmosphere whilst his eyes widened in alert as another rupture of electricity rippled across the sky nothing more than moments later following the initial explosion. His heart suddenly hammering back and forth within his already frightened chest, his scared breaths steadily moulded into rapid heaves of hyperventilation. Ironically, even though he was making a conscious effort to breathe, the more he gasped for oxygen, the fleeter puffs he could inhale, the more his chest tightened, the most tortuously uncomfortable it was to breathe.

He couldn’t catch his breath.

His hypertension, stress, tiredness, and difficulty breathing eventually forced his eyesight to increasingly turn into a continually foggy blur that strongly intensified every now and then. Hell, he barely could be able to make out the thick silhouette of his own hand briefly waving in front of him as his eyes grew significantly heavier. He wasn’t only unable to locate him. He wasn’t only unable to talk to people. He wasn’t only unable to stay positive. He wasn’t only unable to persist through the storm.

He wasn’t able to take second-nature ticks to survive.

CRASH.

Again,

His existence was useless.

His heart frantically thumping faster than a cheetah, his sensitive skin being overlapped with panicking stress, the frequent roaring blots of thunder being replaced with an ear-piercing ring whilst his chest screeched, achingly powerless to inhale without exhaling the air instantaneously in the same half-second to the point of not being able to breathe at all, everything in his view extremely fuzzy, reality a haze beyond identification, 

Everything went silent.

- - - 

Heavy breathing.

Piercing ring.

Blur.

Heavy breathing.

Piercing ring.

Blur.

Heavy breathing.

Piercing ring.

Blur.

- - -

Where...am...I...?

Not only did he wonder about the glooming shadows crowding down on him, but was there an anvil on his chest and eyelids or something? His weak pants of air could only barely squeeze past his lips, whiffs fortunately smoothly gliding through his throat as his huffing sent into the breezing environment, environment anciently narrow. The invisible force on his eyelids may be a contributing factor to the continuous smears that his common-sense confirmed to be reality past the tone of broken breeze streaming throughout the proximity and physical coating of vast coldness.

Alleyway.

Right.

Wanted.

Hide.

Rain.

All that.

Awakening out of a crumpled mess, the cloudy dust trapping him forced his eyes to warningly bolt together to suddenly cough aloud amidst his mind, his mind filled with dismay of his abrupt breakdown, his chest vigorously tightening with each and every dry wheeze that had tumbled out from his throat until he was left with nothing but the damp, alley floor as he dragged himself upwards, sitting so dumbfoundedly.

When had he fallen asleep again?

Not only that, but if he had only just woken up, why was he so exhausted? Was he exhausted in his thoughts? Was that it? That would make sense. He couldn’t step a foot out of the shadows without the risk of someone beckoning the police on him, him knowing that he wouldn’t be able to fend himself if his life depended on it. Which it did. After all, if the authorities succeeded to find him, who’s to say that they would just let him off easier merely because he was apparently apologetic for deceiving the entire world and cheating the laws of physics, literally running away from consequence instead of owning up? What was he going to tell the police if he was ultimately discovered anyway?

I’m sincerely sorry. I’m aware I’ve consciously committed appalling sins but I’m also sincerely wanting not to pay the consequence, so may you be so kind as to help me find refuge?

No surprise there; that sounded ridiculous.

Same kind of ridiculous that was what sent his mind plunging down a spawl staircase, passing out along the way.

Not being sure what to do with his useless mind and useless thoughts, he hopelessly settled his hands upon the dimly lit ground, his bones being dangerously vulnerable in comparison to an average’s health; it may having something to do with the fact that he and his well-being hadn’t had anything of a day of where he could just go about its routine without a worry in the world for quite a while.

But he ignored that.

He’s seen worse, right?

Forcefully pressing his arms against the stone, he used his palms to prompt his body upwards whilst he realized just how unforgivingly cold the alleyway was yet again, even if the atmosphere presented now was an azure hue amidst the warmth that just seemed to purposely evade him as he slowly tore his numbly aching figure up and into an uncontrollably loose standing status.

Everything spinning.

His dizzy standstill propelled his head in circles, taunting to stumble face-first into the stone pavement, probably breaking his nose. Beyond the haze that was his fatigue, he was conscious enough to know that his reaction-times weren’t nearly sharp as they used to be. And when they used to be, he could defend himself. Hell, his strength to balance was tested just by using the cold wall behind himself to lean his weight against. Or lack-there-of, I mean. As his eyes forced themselves to cross, his lungs catching its breath as if it had run a marathon, Soren slipped entirely disoriented within his own thoughts. Again.

Lack of refuge.

Lack of hope.

Lack of courage.

Lack of understanding.

Lack of companions.

Lack of direction.

Lack of safety.

Lack of foresight,

Lack of survival-instinct.

Lack of strength.

Lack of health.

Well, things were just going phenomenal, weren't they?

“Where are they?”

Jumping out of his skin, the gasp that had ejected from his mouth had been somewhat muffled with the instinctive teeth-grit and hands instantaneously overlaying his mouth tightly whilst he simultaneously dropped himself from against the wall and into a sitting position on the alleyway floor, eyes showing sympathy for himself.

“They said their house was near the gate; let’s head there.”

Instinctively holding his breath, he didn’t even realize that he had checked off dizziness from his list of priorities, daze itself withering away from him.

“Okay...”

He never even truly thought about that.

He was wanted.

People were pursuing him.

People were pursuing him.

An internal screech echoes within his mind.

Sincerely, this was ironic. Mentally, his voice of reason always reminded him that half of his anxieties were irrational and with the natural: “I’m the protagonist, what bad could truly happen to me?” mindset, this knowledge was actively rattling his subconscious to the core amidst conversations overheard to and fro, loudly fusing out of tune. Now that he had a very, very valid reason to exclusively seek refuge out of silhouettes, he was assuredly at a loss. Great. It’s not like the very person he was seeking for would just happen to candidly stroll by the alleyway, would he? His luck was just far to low for that.

Once again,

He was truly at a loss.

- - -

Accidentally withdrawing from an insomniac slumber, his eyelids daringly parted ways amidst consciously heaving his own adagio, broken breaths of heavily deep puffing which evaporated as soon as they left his mouth, rising towards the darkly clouded atmosphere as he figuratively felt the anvil on his chest make its second appearance on the fourth day alone. The cold wheezes gradually chilled the alleyway insignificantly whilst his dazed body embraced strangely tranquil feeling, rendering him unusually paralyzed to movements, the beading feeling of his senses abnormally numb.

He couldn’t move.

The apathetic feeling that was determined to immobilize him on the fourth day shuddered his soul to the core while his figure persisted to welcome a moveless status; A status moveless to the point of being senseless, unable to feel any positive feeling. That is, including a piercingly intense agony within his stomach, it intensifying to and fro, a demand greater than the desire to find refuge--an apparent command for food.

He was starving.

Stitching together enough self-preservation to try to thoroughly investigate the proximity, he strained to costively drag himself from his loose posture on the damp ground and into a limp sitting position, drastically exhausting whatever fragments that were left of his strength just by tearing his aching being from the pavement. His head was left to aimlessly hang from his scratchy neck and his newly fainted eyes to uselessly gaze at the concrete for a few moments before his lungs suddenly busted out into a coughing fit with little to no warning, the heavy rasp growing in his throat temporality erupting in escape beyond his lips, chest once again stiffening and slackening on and off with every bare wheeze, mind stuffed with plead to quit hacking his precious breath away.

. . .

His chest impermanently released of any built-up, itching discomfort, his confidence was somewhat restored by rationalizing that at least some of his tickling nausea had to be relieved, right? Dust violently expelled from his lungs, he hesitantly took that opportunity to plant his hands on the ground, not even paying any mind to the stiffly brisk floor beyond the powerful demand for food. As he tentatively used his sensitively vulnerable arms to hoist himself upward, he frantically ripped through the relatively tranquil atmosphere the second he settled his feet on the ground, seeing as he instantaneously stumbled over his own balance amongst a flinch, forcing his right shoulder to vigorously smash against the alleyway wall, him letting out an automatic, relatively loud outcry on impact, the side of his head cracking into the aforementioned building seconds after, the sudden movement abrupt to the point of being stunned even after instinctively securing his position with a hand weakly pressed upon the wall and yet another coughing frenzy simultaneously.

So standing was a no-go.

Take it that what had happened was that he hadn’t realized that his legs were frail to the point of being worthless until he had tripped over his absence of weight.

So he was useless.

His legs taunting to allow him to drop to the ground and him still being hungry, he quickly skimmed to the floor in defeatist, back to the wall.

So he was staving.

Him with an absence of an actual objective other than generally “find food,” he pointlessly studied the science of nothing what-so-ever besides catching his breath whilst gawking at the drizzly alleyway floor in front of him for a minute as his arms remained tightly grasped around his legs protectively, refusing to accept the fact that he couldn’t just shield himself from the shadows caving-in on him that effortlessly. Him himself trembling with both cold and disquietude, a shiver raced through his spine within the presence of the chilled nighttime air ensnaring him in its clouds of eclipsed enigma; Somehow, the luna’s duskiness really just felt rather worse than the other couple of nighttimes somehow. Just his luck. Would anything go his way? Perhaps only so many things go your way in life and perhaps he had previously swallowed up all of his. As for disquietude, he literally had nothing on him to guard himself against potential menaces with...

...right?

Fatigued sword...

Habits of the Endermen...

Walking Among the Endermen...

Compass...

Pickaxe...

A Man Forever Voyaging...

Torch...

Chorus Fruit...

Chorus Fruit?

They’re fruit...

They’re edible...!

He didn’t even remember he had those...!

I mean, not exactly much of a meal but at least a slice of his satisfaction and hunger would be restored from consuming a few of these berries, worst-case-scenario for him to call it a day there, right?

As he sank his teeth into the purple food, he couldn’t even swallow before he suddenly got a strange feeling briefly as if something bad was about to happen amidst a fuzzy sensation that instantaneously glazed past all of his body, momentarily unnerving his vanes to his blood along a gasp cut short by a dizzying event. Even now, him laying on freezing concrete amongst streams of brisk breeze coating over his character, he could barely understand what the smeared, dull colours of existence were, it also being accompanied by a loud, eerie, echoing soundtrack that was sickeningly familiar.

How’d he get out of the alleyway again?

Intense fatigue and hunger taking control of him, he and his attention were uncontrollably, wearily pinned onto the freezing pavement, bordering the edge of breaking out into anew coughing tantrum. The effect of the harsh nighttime atmosphere and moon gradually chilling everything that came in its path to a core made what would normally be clean breaths turn into frigid heaves. Him powerless to stand up for a moment, he took this opportunity to crestfallenly recall that any kind of Chorus Fruit were naturally counterproductive, him not being strong enough to continuously drag himself upwards and to the nearest, cryptic corridor again...and again...and again...

There goes that plan.

Slowly tearing himself upright, he was forced to instinctively groan with amidst a subconscious desire to just randomly teleport back to an alleyway in his vulnerability, his body complaining simultaneously with every significant movement. Then again, the idea of violently teleporting in any kind of similar manner again violated his soul to retaliate even with as much as the thought. His reduction of energy to balance was evidently proven once he used to his advantage a damp window of the building that was fortunately in his precise proximity to support his incompetent figure. He was restrained to roughly settle his right arm on the pane within the fact that his balance was loose to the point of nearly staggering to the ground once again in a blind stumble, evident alongside the wobbling. While his eyes quickly glanced past the reflecting glass, the distinct shading seized the windowpane to glaze a brief hue of light across its obvious shine and slightly wet drizzle inside the mysterious dusk. Though him to pay little to no mind to the environment and more to survival-instinct, the illumination haphazardly snatched his eyes’ attention to the mirror in uneasy interest, not even noticing himself loosely planting his palms on the windowsill to get a better vision at his reflection, him taking a curious gaze, lost in his own lime-green eyes that were intensely

staring

right

back

at

him.

[madmagicaltrevor-blog]

WIE CHINA：Two Effective Methods to level up your teaching [ESL]

Want to make your ESL teaching even more effective than they are today? Last week, we have shared Integrated Teaching for ESL Teachers and in this post, we are going to introduce you two very effective ways on how to make your class organized and how to keep your students motivated.

Point System and Grouping

Adaptability: for students from primary school to high school, adapted accordingly.

Scenario 1: Class of 20 in a spacious classroom

Point system is always related with grouping, to ensure the competiveness among students. Students can be grouped into three or four, according to the size of the actual class. In any activity during the class, they are rewarded with points of a consistent system. First of all, if a group finishes a teaching-related task, they will be rewarded with 1 or 2 points, dependent on whether they answer with hint or independently. Next, for any follow-up game or activity, groups are given points in the Activity row. Lastly, for any misbehavior, minus point will be given in the behavior sector rather than directly deducted from the previous two sectors. An illustrative table is as below:

SectionsGroup AGroup BGroup CGroup D

English    

Activity (Game)    

Behavior    

Total    

Note: method acquired from a Scottish teacher, Derek.

Of course, last but not least, always sum up the points and declare winners of today. No students want their 40 minutes’ efforts to end up in vain.

Note 1: Rounded-Based Point System

In practical application of this table, at times, point scale can be frustrating. Do I give 1, 2, 3, 4 points, or 5, 10, 15, 20 points. With the rounded-based point system you can literally give one group like a million or a trillion point and still make it balanced. For example,

SectionsGroup AGroup BGroup CGroup D

Activity (Game)1 million2 billion101000

3414

20825

4312

the grey number in the table above is the raw point, and the blue one is the rounded one. In the sense, all points are rounded into the same scale so that no group will take obvious advantages over the other ones in one round of activity (Winner takes something but not all). This makes the temporarily losing team as competitive as the temporarily winning one. Consequently, both confidence and motivation of the students remains at an adequate level.

Scenario 2: Class of 40 with rigid seating plan

Five students around in a group will be ideal, but in real-class scenario, you could end up having like 40 students or so with a fixed, immobilized seating plan in a crowded classroom. Table below is an illustration of a good example of the point-grouping system to address the situation.

Team A (10 Ss)Team B (10 Ss)Team C (10 Ss)Team D (10 Ss)

A1: (5 Ss)B1: (5 Ss)C1: (5 Ss)D1: (5 Ss)

A2: (5 Ss)B2: (5 Ss)C2: (5 Ss)D2: (5 Ss)

Note: Ss stands for students.

40 students sitting in four columns, with 10 in each line. Vertically, the class is divided into four teams according to the seating plan in the classroom. Horizontally, the class is separated into two sections, so that we have 8 small groups now. It gives us great flexibility to organize the class and give points to each little group and four teams. For instance, if a teaching task requires competition among team with the goal of training language fluency and accuracy, four teams can compete with each other and be rewarded as teams. In another case, if the task requires discussion amongst small groups, 8 small groups can work independently. At the end of the class, instead of having one group winner, we can have winners of two levels, team winner and group winner.

Note 2: Group Name Autonomy

For new classes, or classes with students of poor language proficiency, certain level of “autocracy” of giving the groups names may come handy. But for students with adequate language proficiency, they can have their own group names. Winners can have the right to change other groups’ names with non-vulgar terms as rewards. Besides, naming groups is not the only thing you can explore with to boost the incentive of the students. Be creative and anything can be utilized to keep your students motivated.

Board Games

Adaptability: for students from 3rd grade to 12th grade.

Non-Target-Related games:

Games can be fun and necessary for all age group. As said by Fred Rogers, “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.”, I don’t think I have to emphasize too much on its importance, but I will explain what is non-target-related games. Meaning, the game is not designed to directly related to the teaching contents, but as a rewarding incentive to motivate students to be involving and attentive in the class. More specifically, students are given the opportunity to play the game when they echo to the teaching sessions. Points are given for consistency with the point-grouping mechanism above. Also it gives confidence to those students who have poor academic performance in linguistic classes. They can still contribute to their group and make a difference.

NTR Game 1: Air Battle

Almost everybody hears about battleship, but none have heard about Air Battle. It’s similar but with more fun. It also incorporates mathematics knowledge like practice of coordinate system. In a 10*10-grids, each team needs to draw three fighters without overlapping to each other. And they take turns to call a coordinate to shoot down others’ fighters. First group to eliminate all fighters of other groups wins. Only head shot indicates a fighter gets destroyed, or otherwise only injured.

For more details of the game, to be continued in a separate post.

NTR Game 2: Get Rich or Die Trying

It a perfect game to regroup members from different teams to balance their competitiveness, not necessarily to even off their strength. Besides, it helps students to build leadership, or encourages more alpha players per se. Obviously, leader or alpha member comes naturally in a group, and if the leader steps down, a second one will step up to be the next leader, voluntarily or involuntarily.

How the game is played: group students as explained above, let them take turns to draw a card from 13 cards, Ace to King, and make choices accordingly. For example, A stands for 5 points, 2 for Kidnap 1 player from other groups, 3 for Kidnap 2 players from other groups, 4 for Ground 1 player from other groups, 5 for Ground 2 players from other groups, 6 for Rescue 1 player from being grounded, 7 for Rescue 2 player from being grounded, 8 for Ground 1 player from their own group, 9 for Ground 2 players from their own group, and etc. Practically, alpha player will be grounded at the very beginning and beta player will step up to be the next alpha.

For more details of the game, to be continued in a separate post.

NTR Game 3: Typhoon

It’s a game by chance linked to the point-grouping system. It can be used in any stage or step of teaching, for quick check of students’ understanding, or for progressive reward for finishing an activity. Basically, in a 3*3 grids, candidate needs to pick a square to receive bonus or be punished. The rule is very flexible for teachers to adapt and secretive at the beginning.

Bomb (left top): damage half of the points by a group

100/200/500: reward 100/200/500 points for a group

Typhoon (left middle)：wipe out all the points of a group

Dice：chance to toss a die and get points accordingly, 1 for 100, 2 for 200 and etc.

Swap (right middle)：swap points with whichever other group

Steal (right bottom)：steal half of the points from whichever other group

Cards：pick a number and get points accordingly, A for 100, 2 for 200 and etc.

Remark: for point inflation and balance issue, refer to the Rounded-Based Point System in Note 1 above.

For more details of the game, to be continued in a separate post.

Target-related games:

Target-related games are different from their counterparts, in the way that their adaptability is relatively limited and closely related to teaching contents and targets. Although they are not like all-around as NTR games and usually need hours for preparation, they are more effective, relevant and well-targeted. To put it in another way, for NTR games, students do the task first and get rewards as playing, whereas for TR games the task is part of the game.

TR Game 1: Jeopardy (perfect for review)

Adapted from the famous TV show “Jeopardy”, suitable for big class and different contents, Jeopardy is perfect for review class or demo class for public. You can simply search Jeopardy game free template to get the idea or watch the show to know it quicker. It is basically that candidate makes selection and answer questions accordingly. Obviously, different questions deserve higher points.

However, in real-class scenario, you better hide the number or randomize the number, or otherwise students could end up all picking the most difficult ones and get stumbled.

For more details of the game, to be continued in a separate post.

TR Game 2: Flip ‘n Find (learning new vocab visually)

Very simple card game as below

You can make cards of around 8 pairs and duplicate several copies for a class. Students in a group of 4 or 5 can have one copy and take turns to flip and find match cards.

For more details of the game, to be continued in a separate post.

TR Game 3: Find friends (for engaging and involving purpose, mingling)

Each student is given a table like below:

NameFoodAnimalColor

Me

Friend A

Friend B

And they are all given five minutes to find as many friends sharing same favorites as they can, in order to win. Not easy to find a friend matching all three categories, so they have to keep asking questions and practice at the same time.

For more details of the game, to be continued in a separate post.

For more games, to be compiled in another time.

NTR Game 4: Shield & Guns

NTR Game 5: Auction

NTR Game 6: Stock Market Prototype

TR Game 4:

TR Game 5:

TR Game 6:

Combo Game 1: Triathlon

Feel free to tell us what you think about the games and activities.

Thank you for your reading

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