#all my favourite characters are the same guy. dont get me started on goro akechi. not on his birthday

[corviiids]

(tags via @gaiusjuliuscaesar)

points at you. you understand.

the armour of achilles is kind of like a death note and this is going to sound crazy but hear me out. everyone who ever wears achilles�� armour dies. achilles (duh), patroclus (book 16 goes crazy) and hector. the armour of achilles also (at least imo) notably alters the behaviour of the people who wear it — achilles’ anger is literally his defining trait and when patroclus puts it on he begins behaving erratically eg taunting aeneas, mocking cebriones’ death. hector also begins to behave much more brashly, eg yelling at polydamas in book 18 for daring to suggest that perhaps going back into the citadel is a good idea. SIMILARLY the use of a death note 1) dooms the user to being killed by their shinigami and 2) seems to alter in some way light’s behaviour — he has the same ideals before and after he picks it up but the light we see at the start of the series and the light in the yotsuba arc has absolutely no interest in killing people and is deeply offended by the notion he could do so.

like obviously achilles’ armour does not kill people but like. it kinda kills people. like hear me out

ok no you're cooking though. like, i think the thing about the death note is not that it has a supernatural power to alter behaviour, i think what it does is present its user with power on a new scope beyond what they previously considered possible and the overwhelm of that is so dizzying and perspective-changing that it alters your perception of what matters and what's possible. it literally is hubris, thinking yourself totally above consequences, thinking purely in ideals, getting that big picture vision that obscures the danger of the means in favour of walking towards that bright and shiny end

i really LIKE your vision of achilles' armour as being somehow symbolic of that capacity achilles has for inhuman rage and vengeance like, you're kidding about it having supernatural powers but even if we look at it in a purely symbolic way and not supernatural, that's fun as hell. we can even take this further and apply it to the second set of armour too (the one thetis brings achilles after patroclus' death) and change the conditions not even to wearing the armour but simply contemplating owning it, because that ends up being the subject of the feud between odysseus and ajax, and ajax goes so mad with righteous grief and fury that he turns bloodthirsty, and then he kills himself over the resulting shame. how excellent is this armour as a symbol of the same rage and pride that killed achilles!! reaching for something you think you want and deserve, losing aspects of yourself to achieve it, and going mad with the injustice when you don't reach it

and then odysseus wins the armour and survives his journey........ but like, he doesn't keep the armour. he gives it to achilles' son.

[qualityrain]

I know like nothing abt persona but I wanna hear you talk about akechi goro. He's weird, I think I would like him.

this is like 2.3k words theres more to say about this silly guy but im out of juice also i did not proof read. also yk. p5 vanilla and p5 royal spoilers. also tw suicide mention

ok persona 5 royal is like a power fantasy game where you play as like a 16 yr old guy (who i will call akira), reform society and fight god. in the game akira gets wrongly accused of assault so he goes to tokyo for his probation and gains god powers and starts a group called the Phantom Thieves (PT) to change the hearts of shitty adults while gaining a found family in the process. so theres this thing called the metaverse and its like the cognition world where akira gets a persona which is a thing that represents your spirit of rebellion and is part of yourself and makes you mega cool and powerful. everybody can only have one persona except when god says so. so having more than one persona is a wildcard. akira and akechi are both wildcards. also theres his murderer in the metaverse causing mental shutdowns and is like killing people. 

Ok so akechi is a detective that is against the PT and thinks they are working outside the law and is supposed to catch them and becomes akiras friend after akira debates him on live television. akira knows that akechi is very much likely to be the murderer and akechi knows that akira is the PT leader. they become friends in the sense of the game mechanic called confidants and the higher the confidant level the closer you are to the character.  also akechi paraphrases hegel saying that advancement cannot occur without thesis and antithesis and thats their entire relationship in the whole game but im not getting into it because yk akechi

so like theyre using each other for information but not really because they dont talk abt the PT everytime they hang out so idk what they are doing. akechi thinks hes better than everyone and relies on himself so when akira is able to debate him hes like wow this is a worthy adversary!! also the stage play has a song abt this and its akechi going wow you are the one im waiting for, a worthy rival !! in my racing heart i wish for a competition with both our lives on the line. so yeah hes a little weirdo. 

rank 2 (rank 1 is obtained instantly) is akechi and akira playing billards together because akechi only has hobbies that are considered high class and for talking with adults. ive seen somebody say hes rude to akira until akira notices that akechi is playing with his right hand instead of his left (hes left handed) and this proves to akechi that akira is indeed a worthy rival and so hes not rude to him anymore. akechi is intentionally handicapping himself so he says when akira is able to beat him using his right hand he will go all out. 

rank 3 is akechi taking akira to a cafe to eat. akechi is a celebrity and also has a food blog. he doesnt have a favourite food and pretends to have a sweet tooth for the masses. he goes to places to eat for the popularity not the food. i think in jpn he mentions how his fans only like him on a surface level and how they will all leave him eventually. his fans see him and akira ruffles akechis hair and lends him his glasses to disguise himself. akechi is like haha i didnt expect that but you know hes SEETHING inside so much that afterwards when he calls akira on the phone hes like haha you caught me off guard!!!(actually really pissed off) you and i are the same height maybe you can wear my clothes and nobody will be able to tell the difference haha wont it be fun :))) i will dictate everything like the hair (RLLY MAD ABT THE HAIR RUFFLING) and clothes!! 

ok i saw somebody say that akechi is a homme fatale and yeah. thats a thing. he apparently flirts more in the lower ranks? but i cant tell because yk aroace 

persona 5 is a game about masks and personas (shocker) akira has 2 main personas he has. the cool joker personality in the metaverse and the shy low key akira in the real world. akechi is the same with 2 main personas. the detective prince and the heartless murderer. akiras mask in the real world is represented by his glasses and lending it to akechi is like this intimate gesture that akira does for nobody else which leads to…..

rank 4 is akechi bringing akira to rhe jazz club where its akechis favourite place. somewhere he feels the most at home at. he says he cant cook for his life. like ei levels of cooking. so he just microwaves food at home 😭😭😭😭😭😭. the song that plays here is very much associated with akechi its called “no more what ifs” and its most applicable to akechi in third semester but the gist of it is akechi can only be who he is and regrets none of his choices. which is actually rlly funny when u realise akechi is barely a person because almost every part of him is carefully curated to be as likeable as possible. also akechi has like no friends its just akira. clown.

rank 5 is akechi bringing akira to play a gun game to make a haha im practicing to take you out (MURDER) joke. akechi says he used to play hero for his mother as a child. put a pin in this. also i forgot to say akechi is the justice arcana in this game but ppl also say he is the justice arcana reversed. he asks akira whats his idea of a hero and if akira says “a hero is somebody who sticks to their justice” and akechi replies “but if nobody wants it then isnt it empty self righteousness”. so akechi kills people for his justice………….so hates himself a lot. 

rank 6 is akechi and akira going to the bathhouse where akechi says his mother was a prostitute and his father ditched her when he found out she was pregnant so he is a bastard child. his mother also commits suicide because its very taboo to have a child without being married which led akechi to believe that hes an unwanted child. and he wants revenge on his piece of shit father. also after his mother died he was passed from foster home to foster home. theres this video that explains the cultural significance of akechis character so here u go https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia8D664sof8&pp=ygUYYWtlY2hpIGphcGFuZXNlIHduYWx5c2lz  akechi realises he shares too much and disappears for the next 2 months. 

he comes back to blackmail the PTs to join them and to kill akira.

rank 7. the plan to kill akira has been finalised. he asks akira out to play billards again. this time he tells akira whats going to happen but in billards. he says smth like u cant just land the ball in the hole like that you have to be precise and indirect. And how its like the “perfect crime”. the mental shutdowns that akechi is doing. hes not caught and nobody knows. he says that the ball is not easily controlled that despite the player having the best intentions the ball might strike unrelated objects in the path. this is about akechi who needs to kill akira to fulfil his goal of revenge to get the justice for his mother. akira beats akechi in this game of billards and akira asks akechi to join the PT. akechi responds by asking akira, in japanese, to toss his friends away like garbage to join him. you can date any female character in this game btw and the pop up to signify a romantic choice pops up here. the whole i need to choose my choice carefully thing. akechi is the only male character with that same pop up. no romance route but take that as you will.  the correct reply to akechis question in jpn is “akechi, you are my rival” if you agree to drop everybody and join akechi, he will stop you. i cannot remember what he says exactly in the english option and its hard to find a video that accepts this but the gist is that akechi has an expectation for akira as his rival. akira has to stick to his principle. this is what akechi expects of akira and he wont let akira stray from those principles. dropping everybody and joining akechi is breaking those principles and akechi wont allow it. theres more to this but my brain wont work its from fhis tumblr post https://www.tumblr.com/vashtijoy/725074969636274176/why-not-join-me-instead-akechis-invitation its like. akechi wanting an equal relationship with akira and not being co conspirators with a power imbalance

rank 8. akechi pulls a real ass gun on akira in the metaverse. they duel it out. akira wins. akechi is pissed. he hates that akira is catching up to him and could even be better rhan him. he tells akira. to be entirely honest with you. i hate you. your deft handling of your unfortunate circumstances, your uniqueness, your ability to surpass me- all of these irritate me….you’re the one person i refuse to lose too. and then he throws his glove at akira as physical evidence of them having a future duel. akira has gone through shit and has come out better than akechi. theyve both been screwed over by adults they both have masks but akira is the one with friends and everybody loves him while akechi is only loved when hes lying. to akechi its unfair and akira shows akechi that there is another way he couldve gotten revenge in a way without hurting others but he didnt know until hes in too deep and now he cant stop. 

akechi shoots fake akira in the head and hes silly about it. hes happy because he wins their duel but is also disappointed because he expected more of akira and hes kinda fucked up from it because he shot and killed his only friend and the first time he kills somebody irl but yk hes dealing with it (having a breakdown on main 

rank 9. akechi wishes he met akira earlier. that perhaps it would undoom him.

rank 10. the breakdown. akechi wants to be loved. at his core. the moment his mother died he internalised that he was unwanted and unloved and fakes his entire personality and everything so people would love him but its all fake and hes still feeling like hes better off dead. he saves the PT but doesnt save himself even when he can because he thinks he doesnt deserve to live. without his revenge akechi has nothing and it was his drive to continue living ever since he was a child theres nothing else he has to live for until akira gets rank 10 with him and akechi learns the ability endure to survive. its akira telling akechi. that akechi still has to keep to his promise of a second duel to akira that shows akechi that somebody cares and wants him around that he gains the will to survive. 

so akechi and akira are destined to be enemies by god and akechi was specifically chosen to represent humanity’s destruction but akira shoots god in the face so thats sorted out

third semester your therapist becomes god and now you’re in a reality where there is no pain. akechi takes akiras place in prison and gets released and hes really mad about it because he thinks he deserves punishment and everything bad to happen to him because he killed people. he joins the PT to defeat your therapist now god because akechi doesnt want to be manipulated ever again (see: him being manipulated his entire life) hes really unhinged in battle in third sem but yk. sillyguy things. akechi is less happy less fake more angry more asshole more tired in third semester. he drops most of the detective prince mask with the PT but drops it completely with akira. akechi knows that he is dead and is intentionally acting like a mega bitch to make everybody not care about him. your therapist is like wow akira i saw akechi die and brought him back to life for you <333 and akechi makes akira kill him <33333333 and doesnt expect akira to hesitate because akechi thinks that hes nothing to akira compared to everybody else <333 he still thinks that hes unloved <333333333333333 

so yeah akechi dies. wow end of game. except not (i pull out the red string) (joke) the true ending cutscene we see akechi walk past akiras train so hes still alive if hes rank 10 w joker 

ok now other silly things. akechi eats like one apple for lunch thats it. akechi wears sweater vests to match a previous famous detective from persona 4 (naoto!!). akechi cycles and does bouldering and his bicycle is not owned by him because everything he has is owned by his piece of shit father <3333 he has like 0 social skills he constantly tells akira hes sweaty. one day he sees akira on the train and doesnt even say hi just starts talking. akira says one (1) word and akechi is like wow what an eloquent response its rhe perfecr response its concise and keeps the conversation gojng you’re so amazing!!! akechi has two personas that awakened at the same time to show how conflicted he is with himself. one of his unused voicelines to the PT is asking what mask do they want him to wear. another unused voiceline is him saying my persona craves prey like the edgy kid he is. he the only character who insists on playing 701 darts which is the longest and hardest darts and intentionally shoots in a way that always ends on akiras turn so you have to get it right or else you lose everything. asshole. Unused darts dialogue where akira says “go go goro san” and akechi misses the dart and loses. silliest guy in persona 5 royal. 

EDIT: in one of the mangas akechi buys akira a bigass uncooked fish as like a gift or smth because he didnt know what to get. clown. clown. when u talk to akechi in game he sometimes says oh im waiting for somebody (LIE because he has NO FRIENDS) silliest guy

[corviiids]

If i ask nicely, would you consider writing the core of Light and L character like you did for Shuake? (IT'S BRILLIANT BTW!! You're so galazy brain. I love reading any meta or just silly posts you posted here <3) because you mention Light a couple time in Akechi's part and now i need to know your thought on him and L.

(Also, about the death note wip you're cooking right now, is it a oneshot or multiple chapters fic? Im super excited for it!)

i ABSOLUTELY would thank you so much for asking and for your lovely kind words. and im sorry this took me seven years to get to i just kept psyching myself out.

here's the ren & goro post this ask refers to for anyone wondering. the 'core' refers to my answer to a writing meme:

26. What would you describe as OOC? [...] it's the same approach i take to language tbh particularly in pronunciation. once you understand how a language forms its sounds at a base level, you dont struggle with the accent on particular words, and you can encounter words you've never seen before and understand how they're likely to be said/spelled/etc. so once i learn to 'speak' a character they come more naturally. idk if that comparison makes sense to anyone else but it does to meeeee all this to say i think a character is ooc if they do or say something i cant reconcile with that core!

the death note wip is a multichap!! thank you for your interest!!! ill talk about it more once i've stopped tying myself in knots plotting it!! broadly it's a what-if type au which has led me to replot an entire series from scratch dont look at me

anyway lawlight below. i will say ive been really desperately wanting to do like a video essay or something about death note which would be a lot about L and light specifically and how i interpret their characters so ill try and not go toooooo insane in this post but maybe ill go more insane later. in a video. with my human voice.

(edit: i failed i went insane)

light - one-way road to the sky

ok let's talk about one of my favourite scenes of the entire series, which i think is widely not super well understood but honestly to me holds the key to light's entire character. it's right there in volume 1

sorry, the only digital copy ive got on hand is the scanlation. for comparison the official print copy reads:

bubble 1: hey, maki, wanna party tomorrow with some guys from s. college? ten o'clock. bubble 2: yeah, totally! bubble 3: hey, can i go too? bubble 4: my mom isn't here yet? what's that nag doing, geez! light (thinking): damn... light (thinking): start looking around you... light (thinking): and all you see are people the world would be better off without.

this happens within the first 40 pages of the first volume. and it's like. haha hey light what the fuck? this is a totally normal scene in everyday life. people are talking about living their lives. nobody's done anything remotely reprehensible in this scene. and light's just walking through the streets experiencing apparently unprompted and quite extreme misanthropy. what's wrong with him

ok let's have a quick look at the first time we meet light in the anime.

[...]

[...]

cool cool cool im gonna pivot again let's look at the first song (besides the overture) in the musical.

ok rook! we get it! light yagami is out here like damn we live in a society time to kill people about it. this is news to nobody! we all know this!! that's what the series is about! why are we rehashing all of this

great. cool. awesome. let's look at all those scenes one more time. but this time don't look at light. instead let's look at the people around him

in the opening shots of the anime (after the shinigami world, which actually is much the same theme): news of brutal murder is narrated over establishing shots of tokyo. light is shown dead-eyed, going about his ordinary life, surrounded by random other civilians doing the same thing.

in the musical, light isn't angry that murders happen. he's angry about the inaction and complicity of the ordinary people around him.

these scenes aren't highlighting that light thinks crime is bad. we all know crime is bad. the point of these scenes is to contrast light's frustration and fury against the reactions of the people around him. here's what light yagami is seeing: we're surrounded with rot. but nobody's reacting. and then life just goes on. so suddenly all those completely normal scenes of people being concerned with the superficial details of their life aren't just normality, they're complicity. day in, day out. so the world is rotting, and to light, it seems that everyone is completely ok with that. that's just the way things are. and that disgusts and depresses him. on top of than that, it isolates him: he feels like he's the only one who sees or cares about this, that everyone dismisses him as naive, that no one else can be trusted, that everyone else is able to ignore something he sees as inexcusable. this is a sentiment he repeats again and again. it reads as arrogance, and it is, but it's also isolation - after all it's lonely at the top and just as lonely to feel like you're at the top even if you arent

can i talk about the iliad again? is that ok with everyone. im gonna talk about the iliad again

in book 1 of the iliad, the commander of the greek army insults achilles by publicly and unlawfully taking a prize (the girl briseis) who rightfully belonged to achilles. achilles reacts by withdrawing his troops from the army, dooming the greeks' campaign. achilles had a lot of friends in the army, so why would he essentially sentence them all to death for something that only agamemnon did? well, (because agamemnon did something publicly that everyone knew was wrong, and yet nobody was willing (or at least able) to stand up for achilles and stop it from happening. achilles, disgusted by the inaction of the bystanders, turned his back on all of them. fun fact i nearly wrote a mini thesis (an academic one not just a long post on tumblr) about the intersection btwn this book of the iliad and legal theory but law+classics is such a niche interdisciplinary field my professor couldnt find anyone who could supervise me so i couldnt do it. anyway that's not the point

is this right or fair? who cares, not the point. what im interested in is what that kind of behaviour says about the individual. light, like achilles, is a highly idealistic person. we all know that in the abstract, but take a second to really really dig into it, because it's actually quite an interesting fact about a character who is popularly understood as being cold and unfeeling or flatly psychotic and on a power trip. idealism isn't naivety, it's not optimism, it's not even really a happy thing. idealism is simply a firm belief in the way things should be at the cost of refusing or being unable to accept what is.

this is the core of light yagami to me. light doesn't become kira because he's cold or destructive or crazy. he doesn't actually even do it because he's spiteful or misanthropic. it's very much the opposite. he's misanthropic because he believes in the world so much. isn't that a great contradiction! ok here i'll show you some proof.

in an early scene (also in volume 1), light describes himself as an optimist and ryuk finds that interesting.

so light is an optimist. he believes in a bright future for humanity. he wants to protect humanity. he likes humanity. no, he doesn't believe that people are inherently good, but he does believe in some goodness as a part of humanity and wants to protect the best of people, in an egotistical way:

how do we reconcile that with a young man who walks through the streets listening to completely ordinary conversations by ordinary people and reacts by wishing death on everyone talking?

let's split out what's going on here. remember what's happening in light's head. light yagami is 17 years old. he grew up with a police chief for a father (in a fictional world where the police are the literary stand-in for law as justice so just pretend for a second that police are good im sorry), watching his father work tirelessly to fight crime - but crime continues, making this an endless, thankless task. and while crime continues, so does the world around him. every day light sees atrocities on the news, and he sees atrocities brought home, and then he lives his ordinary life and watches the people around him apparently not give a shit, only concerned with the petty details of their own little lives. bystanders watching wrong happen, selfishly unaffected. day in, day out. that idealism is getting colder the longer this unendurable injustice goes on. so achilles condemns his friends to death.

what human trait is being exhibited? realistically it's helplessness. would being miserable about crime help to end crime? of course not. people have to go on with their lives, that's a fact, it's even a strength. even light begins the series completely unable to do a thing about the rot he sees around him, which is part of why he's so depressed. but that's not what light is seeing. light is seeing ordinary people appear to choose not to give a fuck about injustice. the thing that's sparking his disgust is apathy, real or apparent. light yagami is an idealist. he wants a better future - a utopia that only he can imagine - something that can only happen if either everyone becomes as good as he is, or he takes control.

if you leave an idealist in an unwinnable situation for too long, their pure belief will start to curdle. it will not turn to realism. they will not accept what is. they will only become more and more bitter that what should be, isn't. they will become a cynicist. this is really the heart of my argument and ive made it a million times and ill make it again. idealism and cynicism are not opposites, they're not even two sides of a coin. they are two points on the same line which moves very quickly in only one direction. this is where i start when im writing him: how do i make someone who believes so hard that it's killing him? someone who believes so hard it makes him believe in nothing?

then we find the third point on that line, which someone can reach by gaining sudden power - for example, a magic notebook that kills people: radicalisation.

how do we reconcile his desire to protect humanity with the fact that what he's trying to protect against is also humanity? how can i say light loves humanity when he has such disdain for them? easy peasy: light sees himself as the messiah. my bumper sticker that says ask me about light's martyr complex PLEASE ask me about light's martyr complex i wrote a song about it ask me about light seeing himself as the sacrificial lamb on the (and then the bumper sticker cuts off)

light loves humanity the way a twisted shepherd might love his sheep. something to be protected, but something beneath you that can't be trusted to know what's best for them. humanity is something he loves because it's endearingly pathetic, something to pity and save. repeatedly he refers to becoming kira as a personal sacrifice, something that costs him his soul but that he has to do. it's a delusion of grandeur driven by dual purposes of ego and some desperate wish to change a status quo he's been despairing about for years.

tl;dr: light believes with all his soul in something he thinks is impossible, and it's killing him slowly, and then a chance to change the world just falls out of the sky

L - isolate yourself until you can make believe it's just a game

steeples fingers. i have Things to Say about L Lawliet.

ok listen. listen. Listen. listen. are you listening? listen. in general i think people kind of misunderstand characters who are hyper-intellectual and/or behave unconventionally in social settings. you're all going to fucking kill me for this but i think there's a tendency to like... accidentally turn any character who falls vaguely in this broad category into sheldon cooper. god im sorry i feel like i just shot everyone's collective dog

specifically what i mean by that is that 'awkward' gets flanderised in a way that eventually becomes a caricature of itself, because there is so much nuance to actual social awkwardness that it's very easy to kind of pick a template and stick to it without really thinking about what makes that character 'awkward' and what the root and type of awkwardness is, unique to them. so instead we just get, like... generic big word user. generic driven by logic and logic alone guy. generic guy who doesn't Do Well with other people, for Smart Reasons.

here's a list of true things about L which i think are safe to say are uncontroversial

intuitive

logical, master of deductive reasoning

competitive

behaves in an odd way that draws attention

is aware of that fact

focuses extremely hard on his cases and only cares about being a detective not anything else

isolates himself and doesn't like talking to people partly for his own safety partly because it's boring to him

here are things i have seen in characterisation of L which i would like to dispute

makes decisions and draws conclusions based solely on logic and evidence

doesn't understand social cues

here's a list of alternate interpretations which i would like to propose and that i am willing to back up with evidence and/or by physically fighting over them

is driven primarily not by logic or evidence, but by incredible intuition which is supported by logic and evidence when it suits him

has a keen understanding of people, interpersonal relationships, and social norms

leverages that understanding frequently to his benefit

feels that he is not capable of / not a part of emotions that he sees as being typically human (see his speech about being a monster)

and yet in an abstract and self-contradictory and low-priority way still kind of desires connection, leaving him emotionally isolated

chooses to behave oddly on purpose, not because he doesn't realise he's behaving oddly, but because it is not a priority for him

those might seem like fine distinctions at some points, but stray slightly off the mark and his characterisation begins to vary wildly. for example, interpret L as being bemused or unaware of social cues, and one possible characterisation that may stem from that understanding (which i have seen) is that L doesn't understand sarcasm or jokes - which is demonstrably untrue. L demonstrates weak social skills because social skills aren't a priority for him, not because he doesn't understand social norms. after all he does a reasonably convincing 'i am a normal dudeguy' voice on at least two occasions (suzuki the information line guy and asahi the calling matsuda for drinks guy). even with the taskforce, when his behaviour is more of his usual bizarre self, he still makes the effort to treat them respectfully and meet them where they are, explaining himself when they ask, chatting with them, holding ordinary conversations. you can read this any number of ways but my point is that he can do all of this with relatively little struggle

it's also very much not the case that L doesn't have feelings or care about other people. he's ruthless and he's cool with causing people to die if he has to, but he reacts with visible distress to the deaths of the FBI agents, to ukita's death, to the prospect of other members of the taskforce dying. he does care, he's just not morally driven as a priority.

ok but if he can cosplay as Normal Dudeguy with no trouble then why doesn't he. why does he conduct all his business in dark rooms apart from the entire world forever. is it gauche to use a section of my own fic to explain my point? im going to do it anyway

It is easy to identify in Light what he has long known in himself. That little pearl of disruption, grown around an irritating grain of something just unique and tremendous enough to be uncomfortable to the more ordinary around them. L has hidden it by hiding himself. Light has hidden it by hiding within himself. L's black letter is to Light’s vapid smile is to Kira's invisible bullet.

(honestly a lot of what i have discussed here is also covered in this fic so in case this fucking three thousand word essay is not enough for you you can go read that.)

something L and light significantly have in common is that their intellect and unique way of thinking really set them apart from everyone in the world, which is incredibly isolating. but while L has the 'benefit' (arguably could be a detriment but i think he sees it as a benefit) of a unique upbringing which allows him to use his skills to their full extent without worrying about really anything else, light is very much trapped by social convention. while light's life is privileged and materially perfect, he's stuck inside what society expects of him, while L is able to exist completely outside that paradigm. the result is that light has retreated within himself and spends all day playing a part, barely tolerating the monotony and apathy of the world around him by mechanically performing as expected while smothering the part of him that never has an opportunity to truly come out until kira. L, on the other hand, has no reason to put up with a society that is, for lack of a better term, really just beneath him. so he retreats. remember that the first volume/chapter of the manga is called 'boredom'.

you can see that even in his comparatively limited interactions with the task force, he is having to exercise a level of patience to explain to them what he's thinking at every stage, to have to defend his methods, his instincts, his decisions, etc, needing to step through every stage of his reasoning so that the others can follow and won't object. this is NOT just about masking his odd behaviour, it's also very much about having to step through his morals and his process, which is second nature to him but is new to everyone else and needs explaining. it is visibly exhausting to him, and this is with people he actually seems to like well enough. eg during yotsuba arc when light and soichiro keep raising moral concerns, and he has those little "here we go again" moments (which i love SO much and are so telling of him to me) even though he doesn't let his frustration show. which is why he usually does not bother with it and prefers to work alone. he sits the way he does even though he knows it's odd, because he feels he need to sit that way. when light calls it out, he doesn't question that people will think he's strange, so he's clearly aware. he just explains himself.

but if he were out with people on the regular, he'd need to defend himself constantly. the things L does are not conventional. yes the sitting is just an oddity of his so it's a good example, but it's not just the things that are odd that cause a problem: he frequently makes decisions which seem to make massive leaps of logic nobody else (except light) can follow, and often his actions are morally questionable or even reprehensible. all that is because L is extremely pragmatic and results-focused. it kind of doesn't matter to him how he gets from A to B as long as he gets to B. but the way his mind works is that he makes big jumps that make perfect sense to him but would draw curiosity or objection from anyone who doesn't think the way he does. it would be absolutely exhausting to have to constantly defend every strange or questionable thing he did, so he just retreats.

when he works with other people, i think it's worth noting that the team dynamic never actually struggles for L's awkwardness. this is something i really like about death note honestly - L is quirky and strange, but the series doesn't do that thing where it's like He's A Genius Of Course He's Rude To Everyone. he's actually not. for the most part, L is courteous, patient, and polite. he's sometimes blunt or abrupt, but he very rarely does the thing where he's obliviously cruel or brushes people off. he's considerate of people's needs, he's visibly compassionate of other people's emotional difficulties, and he very rarely loses his patience. when matsuda tries to tell the locked-up light about kira resuming activity, L snaps "Matsuda!" to stop him, and then immediately corrects himself to go "I mean, Matsuda-san." it would have been really easy for the series to do that tropey shit where he's so smart that he doesn't bother with politeness, but he factually does. he makes the effort to treat people politely even when he's not actually being kind. when he's asked to explain himself, the reader can see he's tired and annoyed, but he doesn't take it out on people. on the odd occasion he does make fun of someone for being slow, he does so in mostly light-hearted ways. so he is very capable of dealing with other people directly. his lack of social skills aren't for lack of understanding. he just can't be bothered. it's a waste of energy to try and behave 'normally' or to do things that other people find acceptable, whether that's due to social norm or common morality. it is so, so much easier for L to do things alone. without the need to explain or defend his behaviour to anyone, his isolation turns real world problems into something almost purely theoretical. so it really is like a game for him, at least at first.

whatever

i think it's really important for a character like L to not be fooled by the surface-level categorisation of 'smart awkward character'. we really need to find what's driving his awkwardness. it's not ignorance, it's not even really disdain, it's exasperation. he's tired of being surrounded by people who just can't keep up with him, and he does not have enough energy or interest to spend his time handholding everyone through his process, so he just does whatever the hell he wants and avoids people as much as possible so he doesn't have to deal with it.

look i know this is a really long way to say stuff that people mostly already know, but i think L is one of the most finely nuanced characters in the series because he looks like such a simple expression of a known archetype and the ways in which he subverts expectations are so granular that it's easy to completely miss them even while appreciating how interesting he is. the way this translates into how i write him is that he's polite and has a lot of patience until he simply doesn't, at which point he'll inwardly or subtly express that he wishes he didn't have to bother with this shit, that he picks up on fine social and emotional details that other people will totally miss, but that he'll always put his own whims and plans before anything else.

tl;dr: L behaves like someone who is constantly moving at his own pace and for whom dealing with people is rarely worth the effort, but this does not make him inept or unkind.