#all i want to do is play tetris and read loki fanfic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hymn2000 · 6 years ago

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Called To Be A Rock - Frostiron feat. Spiderson AU fanfic - C20

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19

Comments/reviews/questions welcome as always

Overall Desc.: Peter is staying with Tony and Loki one summer while his aunt is away working/travelling.

Chapter Desc.: Peter is still feeling the pain of heartbreak. Tony admires Loki’s attitude and treats him.

Ship(s) involved: Tony x Loki aka Frostiron

Verse: Personal AU

Ongoing Warnings/themes/cw mentions: domestic, hurt/comfort, family dynamic, mental health issues, problems, nsfw, Tony in Dad Mode, bedroom stuff

Chapter 20 - Breathe In And Breathe Out

When Tony awoke, it took him a moment to realise where he was. He turned his head, looking at Loki, who was fast asleep on his side, one hand up by his mouth, his pig under his arm. Tony turned onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow, watching him for a moment. He touched him gently. He was warm - a bit too warm, Tony thought. He pulled the covers off him to keep him cool. His dressing gown was rucked up round his waist. Tony straightened it as best he could, smoothing it down over his hip. He stroked his exposed thigh gently, tracing the bruises with his fingertips.

Loki shifted, rolling onto his back and turning his head away, still asleep. His gown had come undone, and Tony stroked his bare skin gently. Sometimes he rather felt he understood Thor’s ongoing accusations, but it was still hard to cope with hearing them.

Tony kissed Loki’s face gently, slipping his hand under his dressing gown, squeezing his shoulder. Loki soon woke up, squirming a little while he figured out what was going on.

“Tony..?”

“Hey. Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you”

“It’s ok. What time is it?” he yawned.

“I’m not sure. Around half eight, maybe?”

Loki looked up at him. “How are you doing?”

Tony shrugged. “I’ve been better. I’m still getting my head around what happened yesterday. Playing the parent is hard sometimes”

“You’re doing it well enough. I wouldn’t worry so much if I were you. We both know he’ll keep hurting for a while. He’ll work it out on his own”

Tony ran his fingers over Loki’s chest. “Yeah, I know. It’s a tricky situation though. Still, I suppose I signed up for all possibilities when I offered to let him stay”

Loki shivered at Tony’s light touch. He tried to ignore it.

“Do you feel ok?”

“I’m not sure. I just feel a bit sad today. Work’s getting me down. This launch is doing my head in. Having teenager problems to deal with alongside it isn’t ideal. I’m trying not to let it get on top of me”

“You need to relax. Take a break every so often. Stop going in every time someone forgets how to look at an instruction manual. And you can leave Peter to me. Go and do something you like for a bit”

“I know you’re right” Tony said, rubbing Loki’s stomach. “I just wish it was that easy”

“Well, make it that easy, then. Do something for yourself. You’re allowed to be selfish sometimes”

Tony smiled slightly, slipping his hand between Loki’s legs. Loki was expecting it, but it still made him jump a bit.

“You really are my best friend” Tony said, giving him a little squeeze. “Can we play together for a bit?”

Loki didn’t want to. He’d only just woken up, and he was still half asleep. He just wanted to go and have a quick wash and a cup of tea. But he didn’t want to upset Tony either.

“After breakfast”

“I’m not hungry”

“Neither am I, but I need a cup of tea”

Loki took his time brushing his teeth and drinking his tea. He didn’t bother getting dressed just yet. Tony didn’t make it easy for him; cuddling up against him and stroking his inner thigh and kissing his neck. Loki tried not to feel annoyed, but he couldn’t help it. He liked having his morning tea in peace, and didn’t appreciate having Tony in octopus mode.

Still, he stubbornly drank down every last drop before so much as looking at Tony. He set the mug down on the bedside table.

“Ok?”

Loki nodded. “How do you want me?”

Tony grinned, pushing Loki’s legs apart and snaking his hand between them, massaging him roughly. Loki squirmed, putting a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“Not so hard”

“Oh come on, I know you like it really~” Tony said, but he let up anyway.

Loki let Tony push him down onto his back. Tony kissed him roughly, one hand still between his legs. Loki wasn’t exactly bowled over. Tony was being very different with him, and it wasn’t really a good thing. Tony soon moved his hand, settling himself between Loki’s legs and grinding their hips together. He grabbed Loki’s thigh to keep him close and ducked his head, kissing his neck roughly and biting him.

“Ow! Tony, be gentle, please”

“Sorry” Tony said, but he didn’t sound it.

He kept kissing Loki’s neck roughly, squeezing his thigh hard, all his movements becoming harder. Loki squirmed and twitched beneath him, grabbing his shoulders, and Tony misread the signs and was rougher still.

Loki tried once again to block Tony’s kisses - and it dawned on him that he wasn’t enjoying it. None of this was good. Tony was definitely having a good time, and Loki could feel it. But he himself, he didn’t feel good. None of this had felt nice. He’d gotten zero stimulation from it. He didn’t feel good or loved or anything like that. In fact, he was actually in pain, and not the good sort.

“Tony?”

Tony stopped biting his neck. “What?”

“I don’t like this. I want to stop”

Tony wasn’t happy about it, but he did stop, moving off him. Loki sat up slowly, wincing a bit.

“What’s up?”

“It didn’t feel good” Loki said. “I wasn’t getting anything out of it”

Tony huffed. “Fine. Do you want to go on top for a bit?”

“I’d be happier just stopping completely”

“Fine”

Loki was overcome with a sudden guilt. It took one look to realise that Tony had very much been enjoying himself. Loki shifted closer, putting an arm round his shoulders and resting his forehead against Tony’s temple.

“I’m sorry”

“I said it’s fine” Tony snapped. “Mind giving me five minutes so I can ‘go to the bank’?”

“There’s no need for that” Loki said quietly, reaching down and taking hold of him.

He supposed it was the least he could do.

Loki was glad he did it, because Tony seemed to forgive him quite quickly. They lay down and had a long cuddle, and Tony soon tipped Loki’s head back and spent a long time kissing his neck properly, making him squirm and whine in a very different way than earlier.

Eventually he stopped, pulling back and looking down at him.

“I love it when you blush like that” he smiled. “You may well have a lovely mark in a day or two, I’m afraid. Speaking of which” he touched the skin under Loki’s left eye gently. “Your eye is pretty much healed now. Just a tiny bit of bruising left”

Loki put a hand on the back of Tony’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss.

“Good”

Since he’d ran out of books to read, Loki hadn’t been using the reading nook, so Peter thought it the ideal place to hide out. He settled in the nest of pillows, playing Tetris on his phone to distract himself. He was feeling very hollow and tired and sore. He wasn’t really hungry, but he took a KitKat from the dolphin bowl anyway, munching absent-mindedly. It didn’t seem to taste of anything.

Peter woke up, feeling a little funny. He had fallen asleep quite unexpectedly. He checked his phone, and was surprised to find it was already after noon. He felt a little better, but he was still hurting. But he no longer wanted to recluse: he wanted a hug. Desperately.

It didn’t take him long to find where the grown-ups were. He stayed hidden. They were both in the lounge. Loki was curled up under the quilted blanket, watching telly, and Tony was on the opposite sofa, working on his laptop.

Peter went off to Loki’s room, finding their book. He spent a while stood there, looking at it, pressing the raised parts of the wrinkled cover so that it clicked. His eyes blurred. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. But he felt so lonely. Surely it had to be worth a try?

They both looked up when Peter came into the living room. Tony nodded at him in greeting, but Peter wasn’t really looking. Loki sat up, grabbing the remote and switching the telly off.

“Good afternoon”

Peter looked down at the book, holding it in both hands. He was well aware of his watering eyes and quivering lip, but he tried hard to ignore this. He looked up at Loki, holding the book out to him with trembling hands.

Loki smiled at him. “We were just about to start chapter twelve, right?”

Peter nodded.

“Ok, come here, then” Loki patted his knee.

Peter looked over his shoulder at Tony. Tony nodded at him. Peter swallowed hard and took his place on Loki’s lap, feeling rather like he shouldn’t. Loki put an arm round his stomach, pulling him closer against himself. He moved the blanket, wrapping it round both of them.

“Right..”

Loki took the book from him, and Peter held the edges of the blanket together on his chest, fighting back tears. Loki opened the book to chapter twelve, and begun to read:

“It was not until the next Friday that Marilla heard the story of the flower-wreathed hat. She came home from Mrs Lynde’s and called Anne to account. ‘Anne, Mrs Rachel says you went to church last Sunday with your hat rigged out ridiculous with roses and buttercups. What on earth put you up to such a caper? A pretty-looking object you must have been!’”

Tony looked over at them, and a pained sympathetic expression crossed his face as he saw that Peter had begun to cry. He held the blanket over his mouth to muffle his already restrained self, rubbing his nose against the fabric, but his eyes didn’t leave the pages of the book. Loki kindly chose not to bring attention to it, merely projecting his voice a little more to ensure Peter didn’t miss anything.

Peter soon quietened, soothed by Loki’s voice and the familiarity of the characters he’d grown so fond of. He kept the blanket up by his face, kept his eyes on the page, and finally lost himself in Avonlea.

“Anne realised that Marilla was not to be moved. She clasped her hands together, gave a piercing shriek, and then flung herself face downwards on the bed, crying and writhing in an utter abandonment of disappointment and despair. ‘For the land’s sake!’-” Loki interrupted himself with a yawn. “-gasped Marilla, hastening from the room. ‘I believe the child is crazy. No child in her senses would behave as she does. If she isn’t she’s utterly bad. Oh, dear, I’m afraid Rachel was right from the first. But I’ve put my hand to the plough, and I won’t look back’”

Loki lowered the book, yawning again. He rubbed his eye sleepily.

“Dearie me, I’ve gone tired all of a sudden” he said. “Do you mind if we finish the chapter later? I think I need a rest”

“I don’t mind...”

Loki yawned again. “Sorry”

“It’s ok...”

Loki yawned once more, flopping down on his side and pulling Peter down with him. Peter wriggled a little, making himself comfortable. He turned onto his other side so he was facing Loki.

“Can I stay with you?”

Loki nodded, stifling yet another yawn. He wasn’t sure why the fatigue had hit so suddenly. He pulled Peter close, snuggling down with his head his arm. Tony left his laptop and went over to them, placing a hand on Loki’s forehead.

“Are you feeling alright, lolly?”

“Mm. Just tired. I’m not ill”

“Hm. I’m not so sure: you’re quite warm” Tony said.

“I’m fine. Just let me sleep”

Tony sighed. He pulled the blanket up over them properly. He hoped Loki was right.

Peter slept for a little while. When he woke up, Loki was still asleep, so he tried to stay quiet, not wanting to wake him. He couldn’t help feeling emotional. Loki treated him just the same as he always did, and it was almost bittersweet. He almost felt like something should have changed, but at the same time, he was immensely grateful that it hadn’t. He looked at Loki, and immediately started crying.

“Come here, you” Tony said gently, coming over and pulling Peter up from the sofa for a hug.

“LET GO OF ME!” Peter shouted, surprising both himself and Tony, and waking Loki up in the process.

“What are you shouting about?” Loki mumbled, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Peter looked at him, and then back at Tony. He pulled his arm free from his grip, looking between the two of them again, starting to cry harder.

“I want to go home!” he buried his face in his hands, overcome with sobs. “I want to go home! I want May!”

Tony looked at Loki. Loki shared his look of concern and stood up, pulling Peter close. Peter couldn’t help clinging to him, swapping his hands for Loki’s chest.

“It’s not fair! It hurts so much!”

“I’m so sorry..!” Loki started crying too. “I wish I could make it better, I really do”

“H-hey, stop it, both of you! Stop it!” Tony grabbed hold of them, pulling them close. “Stop crying, please! This won’t solve anything”

“I can’t help it!”

Tony held them tight. “I can’t stand seeing you two upset. Shh, please. Everything’s ok. Everything is going to be ok, I promise. Come on, please. No more tears”

"I can't help it! It hurts so much!" Peter sobbed, face still buried in Loki's chest.

"I don't know what to do. Tony, I don't know what to do! How can I make it ok again?"

"Hey, hey hey hey, come on now, stop this. You've been brilliant. You've handled everything wonderfully. You've been honest, that's the best thing you could do" he kissed Peter's temple. "Sweetheart, I know it hurts. I know it's horrible and you feel rejected. But it could be so much worse. You've still got a friend. You've cleared everything up. You have our support. Everything will be ok. I know it doesn't stop your feelings from hurting, but I promise everything will be ok"

Peter found it very hard to accept his comfort. He felt truly in love with Loki, and didn't see how anything could be ok ever again when he couldn't be with him, when he couldn’t show him how much he really loved him. Deep down he felt like an idiot for letting himself show such emotion, but comforted by both of their understanding and at the knowledge that he could throw himself down on his back and scream without too much consequence if he so desired, he soon started to calm down a bit.

“That’s it. Shush now, it’s ok” Tony gave Loki a quick kiss. “You too, darling: quiet now”

If only for Peter’s sake, Loki managed to stop too. He couldn’t help feeling tremendously guilty, even though he knew that he couldn’t have done anything differently. Peter pulled free, wiping his eyes, not quite able to bring himself to look at them.

“I’d like to be alone” he said quietly.

Tony nodded. “Of course. We’ll give you some space. Loki, can I see you in the study?”

Loki felt it wouldn’t be right to hug Peter, although he quite wanted to. He merely nodded, and followed after Tony, leaving Peter to mull things over.

Tony shut the door and turned to Loki.

“Take your jeans off”

Loki did as he was told, watching Tony nervously. Tony pushed him down into the big leather desk chair, getting on his knees in front of him. Loki quirked an eyebrow, and Tony put his hands under Loki’s thighs, pushing his legs apart.

“Um, Tony?”

“Quiet”

Loki shut his mouth - and gasped as Tony ducked his head and started kissing his inner thighs. He was surprised: this wasn’t what usually happened in the study - not that he was complaining. His face had already gone hot, and he knew he was blushing. Tony had grown very good at utilising Loki’s sweet spots, and he was certainly showing his skills this afternoon. Loki bit his lip, looking down at Tony, stroking his hair gently. What had brought this on? he wondered, finally giving in and resting his head against the back of the tall chair, letting his eyes close. God, this felt good.

Loki thought how he’d love to feel like this always - warm and loved, with that wonderful hot feeling in his stomach - but that inevitably he’d soon stoop to the other end of the spectrum. He cursed himself for thinking it - why couldn’t he just enjoy the good while it was happening? He tried hard to stop thinking, focusing on how soft Tony’s lips felt, suckling on his skin, and how strong his hands felt as he held him in place. It felt like forever since he’d been treated like this. He was biting his lip hard, trying not to give in - but he couldn’t help his heavy breathing and the arching of his back; and he couldn’t stop his legs trembling against Tony’s shoulders. Tony’s grip tightened, keeping him as still as possible, loving the feeling of his hands in his hair, of him slowly losing control. He looked up at Loki, their eyes meeting - and Loki let out a moan, long and loud. With that, he lost all composure, pushing at Tony’s shoulders and squirming, breathing in gasps, begging and whining and moaning, moaning his name. Tony took that as his cue, planting one more firm kiss on each of Loki’s shaking thighs and stopping, resting his head against Loki’s knee, smiling as he watched him try to suppress his moans.

Loki shut his eyes, trying to calm himself, still a little irritated at himself for giving in. He finally composed himself, and looked down at Tony.

“What was that in aid of?”

Tony smiled, getting off his knees and sitting on Loki’s lap, winding his arms round his neck, kissing him gently.

“You’ve been so good. I thought you deserved a little treat~”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean with the kid. You’ve been incredible. You’ve treated him just the same as always, you’ve stayed friends with him, you’ve not shouted or told him he was an idiot or anything like that. You’ve behaved perfectly. Thank you. Honestly, thank you so much”

“No problem?” Loki said uncertainly.

Tony smiled. “Is there anything else you’d like? Just name it; and I’ll do it”

Loki thought for a moment, hit again with the realisation that his mood could u-turn at any moment without any warning. He felt dreadful for thinking it, especially with Tony trying to do something nice for him.

“Um, well, you know, my back has been hurting a bit recently...”

“Ooh, fancy a back rub, is that it? Use that expensive gel?”

Loki nodded. “Yeah, but first, I thought... Well. Can we do what we usually do in here? Just for a bit? Not too hard - just, well, almost gentle - but not quite gentle - but we don’t have to, not if you don’t want - but I do want - and-”

“Loki” Tony stopped him. “It’s a bit of a u-turn, but if that’s what you’d like, I’m game”

“Really?”

“Of course. When have I ever passed up on the option of having you over my knee?”

Loki couldn’t help but smile. Tony always enjoyed it just as much as he did, if not more.

“Do you want to use anything?”

Loki shook his head. “No. I don’t want it to hurt too much. I’m in a bit of a gentle mood”

“A bit fragile, perhaps?” Tony said. “You’re still all a-quiver now”

Loki shrugged one shoulder. “Well, you’re good at making me do this”

“Aren’t I just~?” he kissed him hard on the cheek. “Come on then, my good boy: let’s get started”

Tony moved them over to the big leather sofa against the opposite wall, and Loki was more than happy to get into position over his lap. Tony slipped a hand under him, holding him under the arm, and Loki held onto his arm, resting his head in the crook of Tony’s elbow.

They negotiated briefly on strength and comfort, and once both were happy, Tony held Loki a little tighter and raised his hand.

Loki relished in that first proper hit and the delightful pain it brought him. He couldn’t help being briefly reminded of Peter’s invasive conversation with him, but he pushed it out of his mind, focusing on Tony’s hands, holding him and hitting him. Hard. He soon found himself grinning, and soon - and without really knowing why - he started laughing. Tony was a little surprised, but merely smiled fondly and carried on. That is, until Loki became a little less restrained, and then he couldn’t help it either.

“What are you giggling about? Are you enjoying this?”

Loki shifted slightly so he could look at him, his nose wrinkling as he grinned up at him.

“I didn’t say to stop~”

Tony pushed him back down firmly. “Stay still, then”

Loki squirmed briefly, if only to tease him. Tony knew he was just playing, and he was quite immersed by it. He brought his hand down again - a little harder this time - and Loki squeaked and went quiet for a moment, but as Tony carried on, he started laughing again, more than before. Tony started laughing too, and soon had to stop, pulling Loki upright and sitting him on his lap.

“What’s gotten into you, eh?” he asked, tickling Loki’s stomach.

Loki squeaked and grabbed his hand, falling against Tony’s chest in a fit of laughter. Tony tipped his chin up and kissed him on the nose.

“You’ve gone all silly”

Loki didn’t protest it. He wasn’t sure what had started him off, but he couldn’t seem to stop. He’d made Tony laugh too, and that just seemed to make him worse.

“Ok, ok, come on then, my giggly little god. Let’s move”

He slipped a hand under Loki’s knees and stood up, carrying him to the bedroom.

Tony set the still-giggling Loki down on the bed.

“Right, lets-”

He was interrupted by Loki’s lips against his own. He had to sit down so he could kiss him back properly, but Loki seemed to have other ideas - kissing him all over and holding onto his shoulders to stop him from escaping. He was clumsy with laughter, still a little trembly in the legs.

“Ok, ok, that’s enough” Tony moved Loki’s hands and stood up.

Loki grabbed him with an arm round the stomach, pulling him back down onto the bed. “Not so fast!”

“Careful!” Tony struggled back up, kissing Loki quickly to stop him from whining. “I just need to grab something, ok? Just give me thirty seconds”

“I’ll give you ten”

“Twenty”

“Ten”

Tony sighed. “Fifteen?”

Loki considered. “Fine”

Tony was glad he knew exactly where the Musselflex was, as he knew Loki would hold him to time. He grabbed it quickly and returned to the bed.

“You said your back was hurting, right?” he said, reading the back of the tube.

Loki looked at him, at his pensive expression, and burst out laughing again. Tony looked at him for a moment, surprised, but couldn’t help grinning.

“Have you got a secret supply of entonox that I don’t know about, by any chance?”

Loki was already laughing too much to properly talk to. Tony set the tube of gel down on the bedside table and climbed back onto the bed, pulling Loki close and tickling his tummy.

“Don’t!” Loki shrieked at him. “Don’t! You know I’m ticklish!”

“Exactly” Tony grinned, and kept tickling him.

Loki tried to push him away, weak from laughter. Tony laughed too, if only because Loki’s was so contagious, and soon managed to push his giggling partner onto his back, where he stopped his attack. Loki was still laughing like anything, covering his face with his hands. Tony looked down at him with quiet admiration, and started to undo his shirt.

“Lets get this off, my silly little darling~”

Loki sat up and let him remove his shirt, and then grabbed hold of him, falling back onto his back and pulling Tony down on top of him as he did so. Tony ducked his head, kissing Loki’s neck and in turn sending him into another fit of the giggles. Loki covered his face again, feeling like he may never stop laughing - and it felt good. Tony moved back slightly, sitting atop Loki and retrieving the Musselflex and rubbing some of the gel between his hands.

“This is gonna be cold, ok?”

Loki wasn’t paying much attention, and startled a little when Tony placed his hands on him. Tony rubbed his stomach and sides, working his way up to his chest.

“Ok, darling, shh. It’s time to calm down now” he said softly, starting on his shoulders.

Loki started to quieten, moving his hands from his face and resting them on Tony’s wrists. Tony looked down at his hands, lest eye contact should cause Loki to fall into another peal of laughter. Loki had calmed considerably, still giggling feebly, but as Tony started at the base of his neck, he soon fell silent, relaxing into his touch. Tony finally looked at him properly.

“There we are” he said quietly. “Good boy”

Loki smiled a little, and let his eyes close, feeling sleepy. He kept his hands on Tony’s wrists, concentrating on how nice it felt.

When it seemed Loki may well have fallen asleep, Tony paused, kissing Loki’s nose gently. Loki opened his eyes sleepily.

“Turn onto your tummy for me, sweetheart”

Loki was happy as he was, but so sleepy he didn’t feel he could speak to say so. Tony moved off him, and he turned onto his tummy obediently, moving the pillow to support his neck better, and making himself comfortable. Tony kissed the apple of his cheek.

“Comfy?”

Loki nodded slightly, closing his eyes. Tony kissed him again and picked up the Musselflex, squeezing a little more gel onto his hands before starting on Loki’s back. He stroked his sides gently and moved to his lower back, resuming his massage. Loki started, sucking his breath and quickly propping himself up on his elbow.

“H-hey, hey, oh sweetheart! I’m sorry; was that too hard?” he gabbled, although he really hadn’t applied much pressure at all.

“N-no. No, sorry, it just hurts-”

“Ok. Ok, here, I’ll stop”

“Please don’t” Loki said, looking back at him. “Everything online says massage helps. I’m sure I’ll feel better for it if you carry on”

Tony wasn’t convinced. “I don’t want to hurt you”

“It’s fine, my love. I promise it’s fine” Loki lay back down properly, one hand up by his mouth so he might hide any pained expressions that may come.

“Well, if you’re sure...”

Tony still hesitated a moment before continuing. Loki squeezed his eyes shut, trying very hard indeed to stay quiet. It hurt horribly, to the point where he wasn’t convinced that it really would help - but he bore with it anyway, focusing on his breathing. In - one, two, three - out - one, two, three, four...

“Loki, you’re shaking” Tony paused, looking at him worriedly. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

Loki swallowed and cleared his throat, putting on as strong a voice as he could manage.

“I’m sure. You probably just hit a nerve, darling~”

Tony knew Loki was in pain, but he also knew he was too proud to admit it, and would likely get defensive if he stopped. So he kept on valiantly, trying to ignore the pained look that his partner wasn’t quite managing to mask. He was immensely relieved when he reached Loki’s shoulders again. As he had hoped, Loki soon started to relax again. Gradually, his shaking stopped, his expression softened, and he was calm once more.

Tony spent a long time on his neck and shoulders, finally drawing back when Loki was near sleep. He kissed him on the cheek and got up from the bed, filling a glass of water from the cooler and setting it on the bedside table. He sat on the edge of the bed and gave Loki’s shoulder a gently squeeze.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good. Really good... Thank you”

“No problem, honey. Do you want to sit up now? In your own time”

“Yeah, will do...”

Loki slowly turned onto his back, and let Tony assist him to sit up against the headboard, pillows propped up behind him. Tony gave him a gentle kiss and handed him the glass of water.

“Drink”

Loki did so, draining the glass. Tony refilled it for him and sat close beside him, one arm round his shoulders.

“What time is it?”

Tony checked his watch. “Just gone four”

Loki nodded, sipping his water. “Thank you for this afternoon. It was nice”

“No worries, lolly. I’m sorry I got all sulky with you this morning”

“Don’t be. I know you’re stressed right now... I don’t think this new situation is helping”

Tony sighed. “It’s not an easy one. Peter’s usually such a happy, upbeat kid. It’s hard seeing him upset. He’s had a few bad spells while he’s been here”

“Maybe, but that’s not such a bad thing: it means he feels safe. He likes that we don’t hold back so much here”

“What gives you that idea?”

“I read his journal”

“Loki!” Tony looked at him disapprovingly. “You shouldn’t invade his privacy like that”

“I know, I know. I didn’t realise what it was at first: I thought it was lab notes. He’d left it in the kitchen. So I just had a quick flick through. It was interesting, seeing how he sees the world” Loki looked down at his glass. “He does feel safe here, about emotions and stuff”

“What did he say?”

“Now who’s invading his privacy?” Loki shook his head. “Just something about how you never get angry at me for being loud, yknow, when I feel like shouting. He’s reassured that he could do the same without it being a big thing”

Tony wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Well if he needs to, I’m not going to stop him. But still, I hope he that he doesn’t need to. And I hope he doesn’t copy you:- your wobblies can be pretty tricky to deal with”

“Yeah, but that’s different. You’re used to me now”

“Ok, but I’m used to Peter too, in many ways. You’re very different though: I know that you cope with things either by going into silent mode or screaming about it. I’m not really sure what Peter’s style is. I’m not sure I want to know: knowing means I have to keep seeing him upset”

Loki rested his head against Tony’s shoulder.

“I didn’t get why you liked him so much at first”

Tony furrowed his brow. “I’d told you all about him, though”

“Yes, and I understood the stories. But when I met him, I didn’t really see it, not at first. But I get it now. He’s a special kid”

Tony rested his head against Loki’s. “He’s a great kid. He’s experienced a lot of bad in his life already. I want better for him. He’s so utterly unspoilt - I don’t want him to lose his faith, you know?”

Loki did know - but he no longer knew what to say. He knew Tony loved Peter. He knew he wanted to teach him and protect him. He knew they’d clashed a bit recently, and that it was really just paternal instincts and teenage feelings disagreeing. He knew that Peter loved Tony too. It had been clear from the start, with the way he held onto his every word and looked to him for advice and clarification, and just the way he looked at him generally. They meant a lot to each other. There was a certain purity to their relationship, and mostly, it was wholesome to see.

Loki slept for half an hour. When he woke up, he pulled on Tony’s dressing gown and went to track him down. As expected, he was working on his laptop in the lounge. He seemed a little surprised to see him.

“Oh, hello there” he said. “I thought you’d sleep a lot longer than that”

“So did I” Loki said, sitting down beside him. Tony tilted the screen away from Loki’s view. “What are you looking at?”

“Don’t be nosey” he snapped the laptop shut before Loki had the chance to make a grab for it.

Loki huffed, sitting back. Tony moved the laptop aside.

“Now, don’t you go getting all moody on me” he said, pulling Loki onto his lap. “What do you want for dinner tonight?”

Loki shrugged. He wasn’t hungry.

“Well, have a little think. You’ve got time: I need to track down the kid and have a little talk to him before I get started anyway”

Loki slid off Tony’s lap, getting up and retrieving Anne of Green Gables from where it had been left by the opposite sofa. He considered the options.

“Loki, no” Tony said. “You’re not to go to him. I know you mean well, but he needs space. Wait for him to come to you”

Loki didn’t move. Peter had been happy while he was being read to.

“Loki. Come here”

Loki did so, stopping in front of him. Tony took the book from him, setting it down on top of his laptop. He patted his knee. Loki sat down beside him, resting against the arm of the sofa. Tony put an arm round his shoulders.

“Talk to me, baby”

“I’m sad”

Tony nodded. “Ok”

“I feel so bad. I know I didn’t mean to upset him, but it’s still horrible”

“I know. It’s good that you care. That’s all he needs right now: a bit of TLC and support. You know, after we talked, I was all set to scold him, but when I went to him, when I saw his face, it put it all into perspective. He was devastated. We’ve all felt that way before. It’s horrible”

Loki nodded. “There’s nothing like it. It’s indescribably horrendous”

“You can say that again”

They looked up. Peter was standing over by the other sofa, looking very small and tired, his skin pale and his hair messy.

“Can I sit with you?”

“Of course you can. Come here, kiddo”

“Grab the blanket first” Loki said.

Peter picked up the quilted blanket from the sofa. His heart started thumping as he got close to them. Loki stood up, taking the blanket from him and wrapping it round him. It made him look smaller still. Peter held the edges of the blanket to keep it in place. He looked up at Loki, at the concerned look in his eyes, at his soft expression and the light bruising on his neck - and he teared up despite himself.

“Oh sweetie”

Loki picked him up and sat down with him in his lap, his legs over Tony’s. Peter rested his cheek against Loki’s chest, not quite crying. Loki held him tight, keeping him safe and warm in the quilted blanket. Peter glanced at Tony, but returned his gaze downwards, looking at nothing in particular.

“How long is it going to hurt for?”

Tony and Loki exchanged a look of equal hurt at his question. Tony rested a hand on Peter’s knee.

“It’s impossible to say” he said. “But it will get better”

Peter wasn’t reassured.

“I listened to that song again”

Loki nodded.

“I’ve been listening to more of their stuff. They’re good”

Loki stroked his hair gently. “Have you got a favourite song?”

“Fall Down At Your Feet”

“Remind me how it starts”

Peter had listened to it enough to know all the words now. “I’ve given all that I can give, was only what I wanted, holding you it’s easier to breathe, the more I lose..”

“..the less it hurts, the hurt is saving me, I’m on my knees, oh please” Loki finished the verse for him.

Peter was quiet for a moment, going over the chorus in his head. I, I wanna fall down at your feet, why, why do you bring me to my knees? I, I wanna fall down at your feet. Down, on my knees, on my knees... He knew Loki was going over it too.

“It’s a good one”

“It is” Loki agreed. “I always forget about it. It’s always nice when it gets rediscovered”

“I like it”

He was still looking down, feeling quite disconnected and numb. He was aware of the tears dripping down his cheeks, but he made no effort to wipe them away. Loki pressed his lips to the top of Peter’s head, not quite kissing him. He pulled the blanket up over his shoulder better and cuddled him tight, rocking him gently.

Tony watched them, keeping his hand on Peter’s knee. He was glad Loki seemed to have it covered, as he was feeling very emotional himself now. He didn’t need Peter to see that.

They cuddled for a long time. Peter closed his eyes, feeling secure. He knew this was going to hurt for a long time, but at least he no longer had anything to lose. Eventually, and just when Tony thought him asleep, he spoke quietly:

“Take it all, I take the fall, don’t have to give it back, I’d give you the world, so tell me when to stop”

“Anything you want, anytime you want”

Peter took a deep breath. “Tell me what you need, I’d give you the world, so tell me when to stop”

“I, I wanna fall down at your feet, why, why do you bring me to my knees?”

Peter opened his eyes and looked up at Tony. He hadn’t expected him to know the song at all, much less the lyrics. Tony offered him a sympathetic smile.

“Do you believe me now?”

Peter held a hand out to him, and Tony took it, holding it tight.

‘...it’s a good way to make sense of things, giving it a soundtrack’

Tony shifted a little closer, snuggling against Loki’s side. He kept hold of Peter’s hand, rubbing his knuckles gently with his thumb. Peter looked at them. He focused on the feel of Tony’s hand, of Loki’s arms round him, of the quilted blanket against his skin. He felt warm from both men and their embraces, and from their love; their support and understanding. He was still hurting, but for now, that pain had eased. He didn’t need to shout and scream or anything like that. He just needed to sit where he was, listening to Loki’s heartbeat, looking into Tony’s eyes, and knowing in the comfortable silence that everything would be ok in the end.

#my writing #fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #frostiron

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