#all boops will go directly to rey. he has it coming

[em-dualism]

"Boop!"

"Hey..! Is that the only reason you Wave Changed us?"

[shadow-assassin-blix]

It’s a Grey Area

Chapter 3

‘Italics’ - thoughts.

A/N: Some Luke bashing, cause I feel he deserved it a bit. Honestly surprised I’m still continuing this.

A good week had passed since that mission. Poe was busy investigating who could have possibly leaked the information about the mission but came up empty with every avenue he ventured. Blix returned to work in the Med bay and tried to ignore the thoughts of everyone’s minds that were now creeping into her head. She only vaguely noticed that Poe had yet to come visit her in the infirmary but understood that he was working.

The day had started exhausting, she had only gotten maybe an hour of sleep, due to echoing thoughts of everyone around her. She kept dropping everything and making a huge mess. After the fourth time, she backed away from the table, and said with a heavy sigh, “Amber, take over, I’m- I’m going to go for a walk, and I may or may not be back.”

She walked out of the Med bay and took a stroll around the base. She was trying to calm her mind, and it was not going well. Eventually her stroll came to the area in which Luke was training Rey and Ben. She took a spot on an empty crate and watched from afar. As she watched Rey and Ben fight each other with lightsabers, something looked off.

She slowly realized it was because they were not synced. They were not connecting with their lightsabers. ‘Which makes sense, since they are not using their own lightsabers.’ Using Luke’s and Leia’s sabers made their fight styles stagnant. Luke was yelling at them to try harder and do better. ‘How can they when they are not connected to the weapons?’ She shook her head and walked away with a roll of her eyes, and went back to work, a bit more focused.

Blix found herself returning to their training area again the next day. As she watched, she noticed that both Rey and Ben were getting frustrated and sloppy in their movements. As Luke berated them on their movements, yet again, Rey’s foot got tangled on a root, and as she tried to recover wound up burning Ben with her saber. He also wound up burning Rey as he tried to drop his saber to stop her fall.

Luke sighed loudly as he walked over and grabbed the fallen sabers, turning them off as he picked them up. Blix had enough at that point and moved forward.

She walked directly over to Ben and Rey and helped them both up. “C’mon you two. To the med bay, I’ll take care of ya,” She promised as she had Rey lean against her, when her foot gave out from under her when she stood up.

Luke began to protest, “Excuse me, what do you th-“

Blix cut him off with a glare and a snarl of, “Back off!”

She led them directly into the Med bay, and set them both down onto a bed, and called for Bre to come over and assist.

They began to work on their burns first, once those were taken care of Blix looked over Rey’s ankle. “It doesn’t appear to be broken, but it is swelling. You will not be doing any more training today,” Blix commented as she set it up onto some pillows and got an ice pack for it.

“I want you both to rest,” Blix demanded, pushing them both into lying down on their beds. “Take these for the pain, and they’ll help you sleep.” She handed them both a pain pill.

“But Luke, hes-“ Rey began to protest, pushing the hand that held the pill away.

“You let me handle that hermit. The only thing I want both of you to focus on is getting better,” Blix spoke softly, presenting the pill again.

Both Rey and Ben looked at each other, and then took the medicine presented and got comfortable on the beds they were on.

As her and Bre cleaned up, the two of them seemed to have their own silent conversation with one another, as they looked at the door and then at Blix.

Blix went back to filling out paperwork and checking the schedule for any upcoming mandatory base-wide check-ups/vaccinations.

She noted in a month’s time there needed to be physicals done for everyone, so she wrote that down onto her calendar, and sent reminders to her team about it, so they too would have it noted.

As she worked, she heard wheels and several beeps coming toward. She looked up to see R2D2 rolling in.

“Hello Artoo, what’s up buddy?” She asked him politely.

Several beeps and boops later he informed her that Luke was looking for his students and wanted to know when to expect them back.

She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes, her head turned to the ceiling.

“Artoo? Can you record a message for me to send back to him?” She asked as a devious thought entered her mind.

He beeped in agreement and after a moment of repositioning himself, a light came on indicating he was recording her.

“Luke. Your students will not be available for the rest of the day. In fact, they won’t even be available tomorrow. They are going to spend this time resting. You know, sleep? Eat? Heal? Interact with other human beings? I know that that last one may be strange concept for a hermit like yourself, but I digress,” She informed with a displeased look.

“Maybe you should take that time and do some self-evaluation. Maybe shave off that dead animal on your face? Maybe realize teaching isn’t really your forte?” She suggested before adding, “Oh and these are doctor’s orders, so, you can complain to your sister all you want, but my word overrides hers. Have a nice day.”

Artoo beeped and ended the recording and asked if she was sure if he wanted to send that to him. She nodded her and said, “Yes, I’m sure. Enjoy your day Artoo, don’t harass Threepio too much yeah?”

He sassily beeped that he would make no promises and rolled out.

As soon as he left, she noticed a sound coming from her patients. She looked over and saw Rey’s shoulders shaking with laughter; she tried to hide her face with her hands. Ben was smiling but was trying to cover it with a cough or by clearing his throat.

“Rest you two. I want you both to spend this time, being normal young 20-somethings. Got it?” She requested, with a smile, on her face.

‘It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Rey smile that much. Ben also looks like he’s not used to smiling either. Those two are far too young, to be that broken by the world.’ She thought sadly, before she returned her focus to her paperwork.

The day passes on smoothly, Rey and Ben were released to their rooms once their burns had healed, the former was requested to keep off her foot as much as possible until the following morning.

Around lunch time the next day, she spotted Rey near the base, sitting cross-legged, her eyes closed. As she stepped forward, she could hear her quietly speaking, “I am one with the Jedi, the Jedi are me.”

She watched for several minutes before Rey, reopened and she looked around her expectantly, but was immediately discouraged. She looked down at her lap and Blix could hear her thoughts clearly, ‘Why isnt this working? What am I not doing? Am I not enough?’

Blix glanced down and away as empathetic pain bloomed in her chest. She knew what it was like to try and connect with the great beyond and not hear a damn thing. To feel great existential loneliness.

Blix walked away and back to the med bay, even though she desperately wanted to go straight over to Rey and assure her she was enough.

That night, she couldn’t settle. No matter what she did, she couldn’t sit still, or lay down without tossing and turning. She had a sudden urge to go to her secret place, so, she threw her shoes back on and slowly made her way outside.

She was in her field minutes later, but she still felt unsettled. She looked around confused as she tried to figure out what was going on. Why did she feel so antsy?

She heard the sound of a twig snapping behind, and as she whipped her in that direction, she quietly called out, “Grandfather? Is that you?”

“Not quite your grandfather, no.” Came a sage voice, and as his Force Ghost stepped forward through the trees she gasped.

“Master Qui Gon? What are you-? Why-? I mean. Hi!” She stuttered over her words and could hardly form a proper sentence.

He chuckled at her nervousness and said, “Hello my dear. It is nice to officially meet you. Shall we sit?” He gestured to the flat ground before them.

She nodded, and sat, starring at him in awe, as he joined her a moment later.

“The past week has been rather interesting for you, I hear,” He began. “I know your grandfather came to you before, and while he sensed that you would have a need to use your powers soon, I cannot help but wonder. You used them last week but have since pretended that they do not exist again, even though your mind and body are reconnecting with galaxy. Why is that? What exactly are you afraid of?”

She looked at him for a moment, before she turned her gaze to a small wildflower that had suddenly become rather intriguing. She bit her lip, as tried to formulate her thoughts into actual sentences.

“I-. Hmm,” She started before taking a breath. “My mother.. refused to acknowledge these powers of mine. She… She saw them as a curse. A beacon in the night for any Sith lord to find me.”

“But you still went through the training, on your own, using your grandfather’s scrolls and journals, did you not?” He questioned.

“Yes. I did. But between his experiences and what wound up happening with Luke and his padawans, how the hell am I supposed to be okay with being a Jedi when our lifespan tends to be rather short?” I asked him back. “I want to live. I want to fall in love and have a family. I don’t want to be responsible for the universe and die with nothing to show for it.”

“But do you also wish to see young Rey and Ben continue to struggle as they are?” He inquired. “Rey is losing hope with each passing day. Ben struggles with finding balance between his dark and light sides. You know better than anyone what it is like to struggle with anger and hopelessness.”

She scoffed, “What exactly are you suggesting? That I train them?”

“Is that so ridiculous? Luke does not have patience for the both of them. There is far too much distrust between him and Ben; he does not understand Rey’s struggles. You, however…” He trailed off.

Blix stared at him in shock, her mouth agape. “I’m. I’m not a Jedi Master though!” She exclaimed

“What makes you say that? You have built your own lightsaber. You can recite the codes and rules of the Jedi by memory. Your skills with the Force are powerful, when you are not being overwhelmed with panic,” He listed out. “You completed your training years ago. You are strong enough. The only thing stopping you from reaching your greatest potential is yourself.”

“What if-“ She began to question.

“The ‘what ifs’ do not matter. You are a Jedi, and under your tutelage Rey will flourish as a Jedi herself. Ben while skilled already, needs guidance. Needs someone who will show him how to balance between the dark and the light. I have great faith in you,” He concluded as he stood up.

“If I may say, you would have made a great Consular,” He added as he began to walk away. “Sleep on what we’ve talked on. In the morning, you’ll know.” His ghost disappeared.

“Do none of you know how to say goodbye in a normal way? Must you make vague comments before fading into the void?” She asked out loud staring at the spot where he disappeared.

She stood up and walked back into her room mumbling to herself about rude ghostly figures. She crawled into bed and passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow.

When morning came, she sat up on her bed, swung her legs to side, and stared at the pile of journals that sat there. Only a handful were medical journals, most of them, a good 40 or so, were her grandfather’s journals. She looked over all of them, her hand rubbing at her neck, as she thought things over.

She looked over to her closet, then back to the journals and said to herself loudly, “Fuck it. Why not?”

She wandered into her closet, toward the back, and pulled out an ornate box that she kept locked. She set it on her bed, reached into a drawer on her desk to pull out the key, and unlocked it. There were only two items within the box, but they were two of the most valued objects she owned. She gently pulled them out and set them into her lucky bag, an old canvas messenger bag that she was given when she was a child.

Once they were secured within it, she got dressed. She threw on a grey dress that flowed easily, with black tights underneath, and a pair of boots. She grabbed her bag and as she reached for the door, she paused for a moment. ‘Am I really about to do this?’

She nodded her head once in affirmation and then stepped outside. ‘If I was Rey where would I be at this time? Mess hall.’

She headed in that direction, her head on a swivel as she tried to catch sight of Rey. She neared an entrance of the Mess Hall, when she heard someone call her name.

She turned around and saw Poe walking up with Finn.

“Hey, Poe! Have you seen Rey? Or Ben for that matter?” She greeted as they stopped in front of her.

“Uh. No. Not yet at least? That’s a new outfit?” Poe answered before getting distracted by her dress.

“Damn. Where are they?” She muttered, searching the mess hall, not taking notice of his question.

“So, about that date you keep refusing…” He slyly mentioned as he tried to regain her attention.

“AH! There she is!” Blix exclaimed, as she spotted Rey entering across the way, BB8 strolling with her, and Ben trailing behind.

She turned back to look at Poe and what he said registered in her brain finally, as she responded, “Uh. Yeah. Sure. How about dinner at my place tonight? I’ll cook. Say, 6pm?”

He blinked in surprise and confirmed slowly, “You’re saying.. yes? To dinner? With me?”

She blinked a bit too as she realized what she said, she took a moment to confirm that that is what she said, and that she meant it.

She, with a bright smile, affirmed, “Yes. I am.”

As a smile broke out on his face, she pointed back toward Rey and said, “Listen I gotta go do something but I’ll see you tonight!” She leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips before rushing off.

Poe froze. Finn looked at him and waved his hand in front of his face trying to get him to respond.

“Poe? Poe you in there? Hey buddy? We gotta get grub before the meeting remember?” Finn entreated, as he shook Poe lightly.

“You saw that right? She kissed me? Like. Openly and in public for all to see?” Poe implored as looked down at Finn.

Finn nodded his head in response. Before he could say anything else, Poe moved forward to get food, talking to himself as he did so, Finn heard a lot of “she said yes” and “I’m going to marry her” before he tuned out and just grabbed food and Caf with him.

While Poe.exec was crashing, Blix had made her way quickly over to Rey and called out her name.

Rey stopped and looked at her slightly confused.

As Blix caught up to her, she looked at her and then Ben and said, “Come with me. Both of you.”

She held out her hands for them to take and looked at them encouragingly.

Rey gasped as she realized what was possibly about to happen. She grabbed her hand and looked at Ben with an eyebrow raised.

Ben looked at them both like they were nuts but rolled his eyes and took her other hand with a sigh.

She smiled at them both and led them out of the mess hall. BB8 asked if he could come with and she told him so long as he kept up.

She led them to her field and had both of them sit down. BB8 rolled in between them, and unbeknownst to any of them, sent a message to R2D2 to create a connection and show everyone what’s going on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

R2D2 was in the command center with everyone was planning the next attack on the First Order, when he began to receive the transmission from BB8. R2 moved forward and connected to the center computer and projected what was being seen via BB8.

“What is this R2?” General Leia asked.

R2 responded that it was coming BB8 currently. He’s with Dr. Blix, Rey, & Ben.

Luke rolled his eyes, still bitter about her little message she sent him the other day and gave Leia a look.

“I know. Let’s just see what’s happening, okay?” She calmly said, knowing he was not a fan of the doctor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blix looked at them and admitted, “Listen, I’m not very good at this. It’s been a hot second since I had to give elaborate speeches. But. I am honestly tired of all the bullshit, if we are going to be honest.”

She looked at Rey, and softly consoled, “Rey. It is admirable that you want to connect with the Jedi of the past. But they are not going to appear before you just because. They will come to you during times of your greatest need. Or as I call it: when my grandfather thinks I need to calm the hell down.”

Rey chuckled a bit and nodded her head in understanding.

Blix then turned to Ben, and assured, “Ben. I know. I understand what it is like to feel anger down to your bones. I know what it’s like to hate and want revenge. Believe I do. But that is not me anymore. Nor is that you. Just because you feel anger, does not mean you are losing control of yourself. Feeling anger is normal. Accept that and accept that you are stuck with us, and the chances of you returning to the Dark side is very slim.”

He raised an eyebrow at me and slowly replied, “O-kay.”

“Okay. Now that we’ve gotten the pep talk out of the way. I am going to tell you some things I have not told anyone in a really long time,” She began as she finally sat down with them. “Poe probably mentioned some things last week to you I assume?”

Rey nodded and confirmed, “Yes. I told Ben later on, before a training session and swore him to secrecy.”

“Alright. Well. Let’s get to it then,” She responded taking a deep breath. “I am a Jedi. I did not have a formal master, I just had my grandfather’s journals and scrolls, which…. Was great many of them. He lived alone for quite some time, so he wrote.. a lot. I am telling you this now, because I am tired of seeing you two struggle. I am tired of healing wounds that you refuse to tell anyone about but me.” She looked at both of them pointedly.

“I finished my training some time ago. So. I am going to steal you both from Luke, because he does not understand that his training is not working for you guys. Hell, Leia never even finished her training so, I’m not quite sure why she gets involved” She informed them.

Rey sat up straighter at this, and said with growing excitement, “Wait. Wait. You’re gonna train us? For real?”

At the same time Ben questioned, “Who was your grandfather?”

“Yes. Really real,” She answered. “And we’ll get to that soon enough.”

Rey was practically bouncing in her seat and Ben looked far more intrigued than he did before.

“Ok. So. Pull out your lightsabers for me please,” She requested and as they did so she had them set them down on the ground.

“Now, did Luke ever explain lightsaber colors to you? Like what they mean, beyond ‘red mean bad?’” She asked curiously.

Rey shook her head no, and Ben said, “If he did it was a long time ago.”

“Okay then. To the basics we go,” She acknowledged with a nod. “To begin with, way back when, the Jedi Counsel had a system in place when it came to one’s lightsaber. The colors had meaning and classified you in a way.”

“There were the Guardians, their skillset were in fighting. They trained themselves in various martial arts. They were the defenders,” She then reached into her bag and pulled out one of the items she brought. “Their lightsabers, like my grandfather’s that you see here, were blue. Just like Luke’s and Leia’s.”  She gently set it in front of her and looked at it fondly, with a smile.

She cleared her throat, before she continued, “Then there are the Consulars, who were more skilled in using the Force, and diplomacy. They used their lightsabers as a last resort. They tried to seek peace and harmony. Essentially, they were better at talking. My grandfather’s Master, Qui Gon Jin, in fact told me that I would make a decent Consular. Their sabers were green.”

“Lastly, there were the Sentinels, whose skills were less Force related and more specified. They had skills in both fighting and the Force, but they excelled in other subjects. They were engineers, mechanics, techs, pilots. Their sabers were yellow,” She concluded glancing at Rey who seemed in awe and smiled at her.

“As the years passed on the classes remained important, but the colors less so. Like. Mace Windu had a purple saber for example,” She further explained. “These sabers are meant to be a part of you. You connect with them on spiritual level, quite literally. That’s why both of you struggling with these,” she gestured to the sabers before them. “They weren’t made by you. You didn’t choose them or they you. So, one of these days, I’m going to take you two on an adventure and find your crystals/gems/stones- whichever they may be.”

Rey gave her a look of confusion at that last piece and said, “Stones and gems can power a lightsaber?”

“Mmhmm. Yes, they can. Stones tend to give off more earthy tones, and gems are very similar to crystals to be honest,” She clarified. “In fact, often times kyber crystals are synthetic. Sith sabers are made from synthetics for example. Or, if you live on a sand planet where no crystals can be formed,” She gave a pointed look towards Luke’s saber. “It all really depends on what’s available to you.”

“Any questions so far?” Blix stopped to take a moment.

“Wait. You said… Your grandfather was trained… under Qui Gon?” Ben asked staring at her strangely before his eyes widen in surprise. “Your grandfather was Obi Wan Kenobi?”

A small smirk slowly slipped on to her face that she tried to smother but failed.

“You’re a Kenobi?” Rey asked in shock. “How? Wha- Why-“

“It is a very long story, that I will eventually tell you but not today. But yes, I am a Kenobi. Glad to know you remember some of your history,” Blix complimented Ben.

“In fact, I think that’s all we are going to talk about today, I will arrange with the general a time where we can slip away for a few days to find your power sources and meditate. I will, however, show you one more thing,” she concluded.

She reached into her bag again and pulled out another saber, one that the base was black, and had runes and a strange language carved into the hilt. She stood up then and stepped back before pressing the button to light it.

“My saber color as you can see, is white with a black core, which makes it look grey in some angles. That’s my philosophy. There is not just the dark and light. There’s bits of grey in the universe that should be acknowledge,” she enlightened looking at her saber with pride before she turned it back off.

“So. I know, I’ve explained a lot. And I technically didn’t really ask either of you if wanted to be trained by me, but I shall ask now,” She admitted sheepishly, as she retrieved her grandfather’s saber from the ground. “Now that you know who I am, and what I know, do you wish to be trained by me, or do you want to finish training with Luke?”

They picked up their sabers, and stood up, dusting themselves off really quick. Rey pulled Ben a few feet away, and they began to whisper to one another.

She made a face and looked down at BB8 who had been strangely quiet during all of this. She then noticed the flickering light that indicating he was sending a live feed somewhere.

“Beebee… whatcha doin there bud?” She asked, her eyes squinted in suspicion.

Beebee beeped saying nothing.

Before she could call him out on lying, Rey and Ben came back over. “We decided that yes, we want to train under you, after we’ve explained things to Luke and Leia. We owe them that at least.” Rey declared.

Ben nodded his head in agreement, but also mumbled, “Though I personally don’t care about explaining anything to them, to be honest.”

Blix snorted and before she stated, “Alright then. Let’s go get food then yeah? I kinda stole ya during breakfast.”

As they made their way back onto base, the commander center was buzzing with the information that had been revealed.

“Admiral Holdo? You knew about this didn’t you?” Leia asked her with disbelief.

“It was not my secret to tell,” Amilyn replied simply. “It was not my intention to deceive you, but if anyone knew she was Kenobi, would spell trouble for her.”

Luke starred off into the distance, he knew the moment he saw that light saber just who it belonged to. He desired more answers but knew that he probably wouldn’t get any- not with her extreme dislike of him and his family. As he looked over at his sister, he could tell that she too, needed answers. Only time would tell if they would get them.