#alex is gay in the 80s he's fight someone but not throw the first hit

[ky-loves-jatp]

How I think the JATP characters would react in a fight/someone trying to fight them

Blank version under the cut

[allondonboy]

Medicine for the Soul (Ch 6)

Chapter 6 - Allegro molto appassionato: fortissimo (Ch 1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

My half-disappearing off the face of the earth was because I thought my main academic deadline for this year was the end of February. Turns out it's the end of November, which required a brain-aching switch into academic writing mode and...yeah.

Thank you for your patience, comments and kudos, I couldn't have got through this term without them. The next chapter is 80 % written and should be up for mid-December. That and this one are my favourites so far, and I really hope you enjoy them!

Sanvers is 100 % endgame in this little universe.

Thanks as always, Sky, for your help.

Maggie is already back at Stanford when Eliza and Kara drop them off. Physically being near her again takes more getting used to than Alex expected – the stories of couples being reunited with passionate kisses and more had prepared them for more than an awkward wave and the sensation of not being wholly present in the room.

They’ve grown uncomfortably used to Eliza’s misgendering such that Maggie’s gender-neutral language knocks them off kilter. After the emotional whiplash from going from college to Midvale to college again their brain is learning to relax once more, safe and validated next to their girlfriend, but it still lags as they get used to hearing the right pronouns again.

Not that Kara and Lucy didn’t try, they muse as Maggie leads them to her next gig in the gay bar down the road, but the house in Midvale always held a feeling of unease when they were called they.

The bar is lit with multi-coloured lights and it’s early enough in the evening that the buzz is present but not overbearing. Maggie, chewing ferociously on a mint, makes a beeline for the mic in the corner. Alex heads for the bar and orders two beers, setting one on the floor by Maggie’s feet next to her bottle of water.

Alex finds a quiet corner from where to watch Maggie, raising their bottle at her when she searches for them. She sends them a smile, dimples flashing, and they grin back.

The audience around Maggie grows, obscuring their view of her. They slide closer with their refilled drink, eyes fixed on their girlfriend as she puts her guitar away. Maggie smiles as she talks to the people, the girls, who come up to her.

And Rao, they don’t want to be possessive but winter break is still too fresh in their mind and the doubts are sticking to their mind like burs on a coat and they don’t take Maggie’s hand when she offers it, they don’t return her eye roll at another girl’s simpers, they turn their cheek into her kiss, and they stop before Maggie’s door is within arm’s reach.

“Danvers, you coming?” With the gleam in Maggie’s eye, they know she’s expecting a quip and at another time they might have provided one but there’s blood pounding in their ears and something bubbling behind their eyes and they turn, and they run.

--

In the week since they’d been back, they’d studied, worked their way through the remaining bottles of beer in their room, and moved through all the practice rooms in the music block to try and find the best acoustic.

In the end, it’s the smallest room in the corner of the second floor that they choose. With just enough room for the upright piano tucked at the back, it has a small window out of which a tree is just visible, tall and stark against the neighbouring building. They work through their old exercise books, making the most of the week before classes start to scrape their way to a tone that doesn’t make them cringe in embarrassment.

The practice room is where they run when they leave Maggie’s.

It’s partly because Lucy is in all evening, and Alex isn’t in the mood for a conversation that isn’t moving fast with their feet slamming the pavement: the only way they can dampen the stifling beat of their heart in the base of their throat without damaging a hand that they need to squeeze out double stops and furious glissandi.

Some of them wants to go back to the punching bag they’d hung in Midvale, where they’d taught Kara how to throw a punch.

Some of them wants to go back to the bottle of vodka stashed in their sock drawer.

Most of them wants to scream at Eliza for filling them with all the emotions they’d spent three years trying to bury.

So, they settle for the violin.

Steady hands with an unsteady mind, drowning out the ringing in their ears.

Black notes on white pages, blocking out Maggie’s face.

--

It’s day three when they find the bottle of scotch their dad brings – brought – out when they have guests over.

It sits unopened on their desk for days four and five, and on day six, they twist the lid off and take a cautious gulp.

Day seven is the funeral.

Half of the remaining scotch slips down easily and it takes them two attempts to screw on the lid.

It’s hard to notice its effect when they’re already so numb.

Weeks two and three are the most drawn out weeks of their life.

At first, they sleep more than they ever have, willing this nightmare to be over each time they open their eyes to a new day and a fleeting second of normality before the eerie silence of the house hits them like a sledgehammer to the chest and they know it’s real, know they can’t be dreaming the vacuum inside them that takes all of their breath and none of their pain.

Then they don’t sleep at all, to put off freefalling through his absence every morning, to put off the dreams where he is alive and happy and joking, to put off another day of the whispers at school.

They don’t surf. He isn’t there to see it.

They study, and they drink, and they practice their violin.

They try to practice.

It’s hard.

After all, what use is a shaking hand from the burn of liquor down your throat and the burn of something else entirely in your heart?

--

The next day, they sit on the other side of the lecture hall. As soon as they’ve pulled out a pen, the lecture starts, and they look across at Maggie exactly once to see her three rows down, watching the lecturer intently.

--

They don’t sit in their usual library seat, instead finding a secluded corner. Maggie arrives five minutes later at their usual table and they see her slow as she finds it empty of both Alex and a Tuesday sandwich.

She sits anyway.

--

Alex comes out of the lab and stops in their tracks. Maggie is leaning against their locker, arms folded and ankles crossed, and she pushes off with her shoulders to walk towards them, concern on her face.

They push past her. “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering my texts or calls. I was worried.”

“I – I’ve been busy. I’m sorry.” They yank on their sweater, head still inside the locker.

“Is this a bad time?”

“Yeah, yeah it is, kinda.” Alex grabs their bag and slams the door shut, spinning around to find Maggie closer than she sounded. “I’m in the middle of an assignment.”

They focus on a spot on the wall just above Maggie’s head. “It’s a challenging one and I’m not sure any of our class get it, to be honest.”

“If anyone can figure it out, it’s you,” says Maggie in a way that makes them meet her eyes and they wonder, briefly, how they thought they deserved someone so supportive and with so much confidence in them.

“I knew this was going to happen, I knew it,” mutters Alex and they bolt for the stairs, Maggie chasing after them.

“What are you talking about?”

“I was happy for like, five minutes.”

“What?” Maggie lands at the bottom of the stairs first and stops in front of Alex.

They readjust their bag and shake their head. “I – I’m sorry, this isn’t going to work. It was a mistake. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

A professor slips past them and Alex nods at her. When they turn back, Maggie’s face is unreadable and Alex panics that she’s answered and they’ve missed it.

“Okay.” Maggie takes a breath. There’s a split second where they could jump in and take it all back, but they don’t. “Got it. See you, Danvers.”

No. They wouldn’t miss that.

--

The implications of what they said don’t sink in until they’re opening their door. They freeze in the doorway. Lucy is on the floor in the middle of a plank and Alex stares at the back of her head.

“What’s the difference,” says Alex slowly, “between a fight and a break up?”

Lucy hits the floor and rolls over. “Well, I didn’t see that one coming.” She sits up and Alex inches further into the room. “You think you broke up?”

“I don’t know.” Alex rubs their eyes. “I don’t know, Lucy.”

“Sit.” Lucy points them to her bed and they sink into it. “Start from the beginning.”

Alex recounts it all, monotonously, twisting their hands.

“What do you want to happen now?” Lucy asks when they’ve finished.

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be here,” says Alex. “I need a drink.”

Lucy watches wordlessly as they open their sock drawer and unscrew the lid of their vodka.

They don’t drink immediately. “I told her we were a mistake.” Alex takes a swig, staring at the scratches on the wall. “I don’t want her to think it’s her that’s the mistake.”

Alex takes a smaller sip then points at Lucy. “You and me, that’s the only remotely normal relationship I’ve had in my life.”

“Watch who you’re calling normal,” Lucy murmurs, her eyes tracking Alex as they start to pace.

“I have an alien for a sister. My dad died in a freak accident which no one is ever going to tell me about, my mom is only interested in me following in his scientific footsteps, and I haven’t spoken to Vicky in years. Maggie is the first person I’ve ever wanted to date, Luce, but she’s too good for someone who can’t balance romance with the rest of their life.”

“Did you tell her that?”

“No.” Alex sips again.

“Call her,” Lucy says. Alex twitches. “Call her and talk to her. Tell her what you told me and give her a chance to respond.”

Alex examines the chemical stains on their hands. “She won’t want to talk to me.”

“And you know that how? With your magical crystal ball?” Lucy reaches for Alex’s phone and scrolls through until she finds Maggie’s number. “Call her. The Alex Danvers I know owns up to their mistakes,” she says frankly, “so go and do that.”

They take the phone but don’t press call. Maggie’s face stares up at them, dimples on full.

“Call her, you useless gay,” Lucy calls from the other end of the bed, and Alex finds the bottle of vodka being prised from their grip. “And therapy time with Lucy is now over.”

--

“Al, it’s your girlfriend.”

Alex takes Lucy’s place at the door and curls their head around it. Maggie’s arms are crossed and she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else than in front of them. When they look at her eyes and see them resigned, they can’t blame her.

“Thanks for coming.”

Maggie’s fingers tighten in the folds of her flannel and she stands straighter. “I almost didn’t.”

Alex takes a step backwards as Maggie barges through and their arm brushes against Lucy, jacket in hand.

“I’ll let you talk,” Lucy says. It’s a good idea, Alex knows, but they want to drag her back and make her mediate this conversation with Maggie, who looks like she’s trying not to slam the door and get of there.

Maggie fixes them with a cold, unwavering stare and they release a long breath. The room behind them is still and quiet, the corner they’re standing in dim with artificial light, and Maggie’s determined, tilted head is silhouetted against the quietly closing door behind her.

“Do you want a drink?”

“Cut to it, Danvers.” Maggie’s voice is tight and Alex isn’t sure what she thinks they’re going to say. They try to school their features into something less terrified and more reassuring. It feels like a pained grimace so they duck their head and grab a beer for themselves, returning to their serious expression.

“I feel like the universe is magically smacking me down from being happy.”

Maggie scoffs a dry laugh. “That’s it? You gotta give me more than that.”

They sort through the speech they prepared, some of it with Lucy, and pick a new starting place.

“Okay. Okay, I,” they nod slowly and try again. “In the bar.”

“Okay.”

“There were all these women coming up to you. Beautiful women, and yet you still came over to me and that - that is confusing.” Alex takes a deep breath. “And I can’t, I just need to know: what do you get out of this relationship?”

Regret tickles their tongue when Maggie flinches away from them.

“What do you get from this relationship, Maggie?”

It’s more of a snap this time and they expect Maggie to flinch again but her eyes soften and no, no, they don’t deserve soft.

“Alex, what are you talking about?”

Maggie reaches for Alex’s hand but they snatch it away and point a finger at her.

“You, you could have had any woman in that bar, any of them, but you settle for me? Me, who - ” They break off and raise their head to glare at the ceiling.

“Alex.” Maggie’s voice is gentle and Alex steels themselves. “What’s going on?”

“I – I – I just need to know why you’re doing this, why me, why – you could have anyone, and I…” they trail off, blinking angrily as their vision starts to blur with tears.

“Being with you isn’t settling, Alex,” Maggie says, voice low, and Alex’s lip curls into a snarl.

“Yeah? I don’t even know what I am or who I am and you don’t deserve that, you deserve someone normal and, and – and not me.”

“Alex.”

“So I figured, I realised, that you’ve got to be in this for another reason, right? There must be something I can give you to make this,” they gesture to themselves in disgust, “worth it.”

“Alex.” Rao, they didn’t mean to hurt her, they didn’t, but there’s pain in Maggie’s eyes now and they can’t look at her because that’s all they do, they are pain, pain for the ones they love and they can’t, they shouldn’t have even tried – “Alex, look at me.”

It takes a deep breath and their knuckles starting to burn from too tight fists for Alex to finally look at her.

“What’s going on?” Maggie repeats, gently, and Alex starts shaking their head. “You can tell me anything.”

They dip their head and their lip trembles but they don’t answer.

“Did something happen at home?”

How. How did she know?

Alex raises their eyes and Maggie gives a small nod, taking a tiny step forward.

“What happened with your mom?”

There’s so much they want to tell Maggie but saying it out loud sounds like a confession of not being able to cope. Not being strong enough.

They roll the words around their mouth. Off-script words now that Lucy may suspect but never hear, they don’t know, they can’t tell if these words are obvious to anyone but them. They tug at them, arranging them into an order that burns like a brand on their tongue and then they can’t hold them in any longer.

“It’s relentless in that house,” they whisper. “It’s constant. She and her and sister and daughter and I get back here and suddenly I can be they again and I can be happy being me without feeling like I’m supposed to be ashamed of it. You make me so happy, Maggie, but spending time in that house makes me wonder how much I deserve it.”

“Alex.” She sounds like she wants to jump in but if they don’t get this out now they never will so they hold up a hand, a tiny wave, and she nods.

“You know, I have always felt so…responsible. Like, weight of the world responsible. And my parents always relied on me to watch over my sister, so the few times that I did anything for myself, it ended badly, and now I remember why.”

Alex runs a hand through their hair. They’ve never talked about this before. They can’t tell Kara about it. They don’t want to tell Lucy about it and chance pointing out even more differences between them and Kara, and Lucy and Lois.

“My sister… she deserves the world. And when I can give that to her, a safe home away from whatever the kids at school do or say, that’s huge, and I’ve always, always known that I will do anything to protect her including forfeiting myself because when Mom and I get going, it effects Kara. I can’t protect Kara when I’m putting me first.”

It feels like Kara’s squeezing all the air out of their chest and they wrap their arms around themselves, before shaking their head in bewilderment.

“I’ve never doubted myself so much, you know. And I want to be able to say that what my mom thinks doesn’t matter to me but it does. I’ve never doubted that I know myself but…” Alex exhales and shrugs.  “Maybe she’s right and this is just a phase.”

“No,” Maggie says firmly, so firmly that Alex’s heart settles instantly. “This is real. You are real. And you deserve a real, full, happy life, as you, in the identity that fits you best. None of us can tell you what you’re feeling, Alex, but whatever it is, it is valid. It is real.”

They search her eyes for the caveat, but there’s just earnest, ferocious, fiery love.

“So.” They puff out their cheeks and gradually blow them out. “That’s what happened. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

Maggie steps back and looks at them for a long time before speaking. “We’ve both got ghosts,” she tells Alex, and Maggie’s eyes glaze over briefly as though one of those ghosts has materialised behind them, “but I don’t want this to become one of them.”

Alex reaches for Maggie’s hand. “It won’t.”

“It will if we don’t start talking about this stuff.”

They don’t respond immediately. They run their thumb over the back of Maggie’s hand and let the ripples in their stomach die away.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” Maggie squeezes their hand. “Because when you went running off on me, saying we were a mistake, I thought I’d done something wrong.”

Alex’s eyes widen in horror. “Maggie, no - ”

“You made my decision for me, you decided it would be better for me to not be with you, and I didn’t get a say.” Maggie takes a deep breath. “That’s not fair on me. I deserve more than that.”

Alex tries to imagine what happened to Maggie to make her words hold a note of uncertainty underlined with pride. They nod. “I know.”

“And you don’t have to tell me the details, okay? Just don’t run without an explanation. I can’t stop bad things happening to you but I can help you through them and I deserve to be allowed to make the choice to do that.”

There’s a moment of silence, Maggie steadfastly holding Alex’s gaze as firmly as she’s holding their hand.

“You were never the mistake,” says Alex quietly. “You’re not a mistake. You’re real too.”

The hug Maggie draws them into feels more real than anything they’ve felt in the last week and they melt into her arms, suddenly and brilliantly completely in the moment.

--

Alex stirs and tries to roll over to look at the time. A weight pinning them down stops them and they freeze. Looking down at where dark hair peeks out of the top of their duvet, they smile at the sight of Maggie curled tightly on top of them, nose squished into their chest.

Alex snakes out an arm and flaps it towards their phone, little finger snagging the charger and sending it crashing to the floor. Maggie opens one eye, sees Alex where she expects them to be, and closes it again.

They swear under their breath when Lucy grunts at them and hope she doesn’t notice Maggie repositioning herself.

“Danvers?” says Lucy groggily.

“Lane?” Alex answers as quietly as they can. Maggie’s hand flops onto their mouth and sleepy eyes peer up at them.

“Shhhhhhhh,” she says with the coherence of someone still half-asleep. Lucy is suddenly awake and peeling the covers off them both. Alex pushes her away with their free hand and Lucy dodges it, snickering.

“Cosy.”

“Cold!” Maggie complains until Lucy’s presence registers in her mind and she stiffens. She squirms around as Alex’s hand rubs her arm reassuringly and she tries to pull the covers back over her head to shield her eyes from the harsh light of the lamp Lucy had decided to turn on.

“Lucy, what are you – no!” Alex half lunges towards Lucy as she grabs their phone from the floor and pulls up the camera.

“Smile,” says Lucy. Maggie groans and mumbles something that neither of the other two catch, holding onto Alex as they spill out of bed in slow motion. Maggie clings to Alex like a koala and they end up in a heap with their legs still tangled in the sheets.

“Lucy fucking Lane,” Alex starts, spitting out a mouthful of hair. “You delete that right now.”

“You kiss your girl with that mouth, Danvers?”

“Yeah,” Maggie declares from Alex’s neck. “They do.”

Lucy watches as Alex’s gaze softens and their entire body melts into Maggie. “I see you two have made up.”

Maggie stiffens again.

“Yeah,” says Alex quietly. “We talked.”

Lucy smirks. “Looks like more than just talking.” Alex throws a pillow at her head. “Can I interest you two nerds in coffee, or should I get my books and go?”

Maggie wriggles into a sitting position and clutches the sheets to her chest. “Coffee.”

“We could get coffee later.” Alex hooks their foot under Maggie’s knee and tries to pull her back down.

“Coffee,” Maggie says more firmly, glancing up at Lucy who squints at Alex with an unreadable expression. Alex looks between them and sighs. They roll onto their side and prop their head up with their hand.

“Fine.”

--

Alex walks between Lucy and Maggie on the way to the café. They keep hold of Maggie’s hand even as they slide onto the bench after her.

Across the table, they see Lucy not so subtly take another photo of them but as they inhale the heavenly coffee fumes they find they don’t care – or at least, they care less than they did that morning, because Maggie’s hand in theirs is small and warm and Lucy’s knee knocking against theirs is so Lucy and familiar, and the messages appearing on their phone screen from Kara in response to what they can only assume is Lucy’s photos is so expected and sisterly and they’re not really okay, but they’re happy, and that’ll do for now.

[x-oc-blog-x]

Inside Avas’ OCs

I got a questionnaire from mibba.com for my OCs

Oliver Asman

Basic

1. What is your full birth name? Oliver Lee Asman

2. Any nicknames? Oli

3. When were you born/how old are you? June 5. I’m 19

4. If immortal or slow-ageing, what is your apparent age? I’m human soo.

5. Where were you born?

The United States

6. Who were your parents? Cassie and Daniel Asman

7. Do you have any siblings? Yeah. He is 5. His name is Joel.

8. Where do you live now? At jacks house in the US

9. Who do you live with? Jackson Canmore and his mom.

10. Are you right or left-handed?

Left

11. What words/phrases do you regularly use? I definitely say sorry a lot.

12. Name some habits or strange quirks you have? I chew on hoodie strings. And my shirt sometimes. I know it’s gross

Appearance

13. Height: 5’ 7”

14. Weight: 147 pounds

15. Skin Tone: I’m tan

16. Body Shape: normal? I don’t know.

17. Hair: blonde quiff

18. Eyes: blue

19. Face Shape:what does this even mean?

20. Everyday Dress Style:I like to wear black jeans and a t shirt

21. Formal Dress Style:slacks and dress shirt.

22. Any Jewelry? A few bracelets just to fidget with really.

23. Any Scars? Just a few. Ive got some on my thigh. I don’t want to talk about it.

24. Tattoos? No.

Growing Up

25. How would you describe your childhood in general? It was okay. It could have been better. I was kicked out though. There was that.

26. What is your earliest memory?

My mom and dad arguing over money. He hit her.

27. How much schooling have you had? I graduated

28. Did you enjoy school?

Yeah. I got to spend time with friends. And jack

29. Where did you learn most of your skills/abilities?

School

30. Any role models while growing up? Not really until middle school. I really liked the flash. Jack made me watch it.

31. What did you want to be when you grew up?

I actually wanted to be a dinosaur. Then I wanted to be a teacher

32. What was your favourite thing to do? Play with dinosaur toys with jack. And when I grew up a bit I liked to write.

33. Were you popular?

No

34. Who were your friends?

Jack, Misha, Collin, Rex, Alex, Loni

35. When and who was your first kiss?

My first kiss was a girl named Maddie in 6th grade

Past Influences

36. What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? Moving in with jack when I got kicked out. That really influenced our friendship and helped us get together. And that was life changing.

37. Who has had the most influence on you? Jack.

38. What do you consider is your greatest achievement? Healing from being kicked out and not trying to reach out to my toxic family.

39. What is your greatest regret? Missing so many opportunities because of insecurity.

40. What is the most evil thing you have ever done? I have no idea. I try not to do bad things.

41. Do you have a criminal record of any kind? No

42. When was the time you were the most frightened? When I was kicked out. I was so scared. My dad had me by the hair and was dragging and throwing me.

43. The most embarrassing moment of your life so far? I accidentally submitted one of my writings for an assignment instead of the actual assignment. My teacher was really confused.

44. If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be and why? As much as I loved living with Jack and his mom, I wish I wouldn’t have come out to them. Maybe they would still talk to me.

45. What is your best memory? My first kiss. Jack and I were in the park. And without me even telling him I liked him, we both just kinda kissed.

46. What is your worst memory? Other than being kicked out, Being beat up in the bookstore. I didn’t do anything to them, but because I was holding hands with jack, they put put me in the hospital.

Beliefs and Opinions

47. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? I try to be an optimist.

48. What is your greatest fear?

Being alone

49. What are your religious views?

I believe in the Christian god. But I never go to church or anything.

50. Political views?

Not conservative.

51. Views on Sex?

Sex is a cool thing. Everyone is different with it, but it’s nice. I like it. I want to go more into detail but I really shouldn’t.

52. In your own opinion, what is the most evil thing someone could do?

Kick out their child for being lgbt+

53. Do you believe in Soul Mates/True love? I do.

54. What do you base success on?

Personal Achievements. I’m successful for finding a healthy relationship and getting out of a toxic situation. Other people are successful for getting past their bad pasts.

55. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings with yourself?

I try to push my feelings away. I don’t like negative emotions.

56. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings with others?

I usually tell jack how I feel if I’m depressed because he likes to help.

57. Do you have any biases or prejudices?

Yes.

58. Is there anything you would absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances?

I’m sure there is. But I don’t know what they would be

59. Why would you refuse?

N/a

60. Who or what, if anything, would you die for?

I’d die for jack and his family. I’d die for my friends. Id die for the kids like me who don’t have anyone to go to because they were abandoned for who they are.

61. What do you feel the most passionate about?

Jack.

62. What one act are you most proud of?

Healing from bad things.

63. What one act are you most ashamed of?

Coming out to my parents.

64. Are you a leader or follower?

Follower

Relationships

65. In general, how do you treat people you don’t know well? I try to be nice to everyone.

66. How do you treat people you do know?

With respect.

67. Who do you respect the most and why?

Jack. He is a nice human who has been through bad days. And he is still the best and nicest person I know.

68. Who are your friends?

Misha, collin, Jack, Loni, Alex, and Rex.

69. Who is your best friend?

Jack

70. Ever been in love?

Obviously.

71. Who do you consider family?

Jack, Misha, Collin, Ms. Canmore

72. How close are you to your family?

I don’t talk to them. At all.

73. Who do you turn to in desperate times and why?

Jack. He has always been there for me.

74. Who do you trust to protect you and why? No one should have to protect me. But in the times that I needed it, Jack. Sorry if I keep saying his name for everything. He is everything to me.

75. Who do you despise the most and why?

My dad. He took me by my hair and threw me from our house because of my sexuality.

76. Do you tend to argue or avoid conflict? Avoid. My anxiety doesn’t like to fight.

77. Do you care what others think of you?

Yes.

Sex and Intimacy

78. Do you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, trans or something else?

Pansexual.

79. Do you have a significant other?

Yes.

80. Describe them: kind, smart, sweet, supportive, loving, and everything someone could want.

81. What is the perfect romantic date?

Going to the park and having lunch.

82. Best sexual partner?

Jack is the best. But he is the only person I’ve had sex with.

83. Worst sexual partner?

No one. Jack is the only person I’ve had sex with.

84. Worst thing you’ve done to someone you love?

I don’t know.

Likes and Dislikes

85. What is/are your favourite hobbies/pastimes?

I like to watch tv. And write.

86. What is your most prized possession?

The bracelet jack gave me.

87. Favourite colour?

Green

88. Favourite food?

Pizza

89. Favourite movie? Spider-Man: far from home

90. Favourite TV show?

Glee

91. What, if anything, do you like to read?

I like poems. Rupi Karar especially

92. What style of music do you like?

I like all music. Except country.

93. What is your idea of good entertainment? Books, tv, plays, etc.

94. Do you smoke?

No. It’s gross

95. Drink?

I don’t unless someone offers at like a party or something.

96. Drugs?

Nah.

97. Typical Friday night?

Cuddles with jack.

98. What would be the perfect gift for you?

Roses.

99. Rain or Sun and why? Rain. I like to feel the rain.

100. Day or Night and why?

Day. I like the sunrises and the sense of everyone having something to do in the light.

101. What makes you laugh?

Puns. Jokes.

102. What shocks/offends you?

Anti-lgbt people. People who deny human rights to others.

103. How do you deal with stress? I usually break down and cry.

104. Are you spontaneous, or do you feel you always need a plan?

I prefer plans to ease my anxiety.

105. Any pet peeves?

Nah.

Occupation/Study

106. Do you have a job or are you studying? I stay at home. I don’t do much. I sometime write for commission money.

107. If so, what is it/what course?

Writing.

108. Do you like it?

Yeah.

109. If studying/not working, where does your money come from? It doesn’t really.

110. What is your boss/teacher(s)/agent/publisher ect like? I am my boss that’s pretty cool.

111. What are your co-workers/other students like? Nope.

112. Do you get along with them? Nope.

113. What is something you had to learn that you hated?

Semicolons

114. Do you tend to save or spend your money?

Save

Misc.

115. Describe the routine of a normal day for you:

Wake up. Cuddle. Sometimes work. Eat. Cuddle. Blah blah.

116. What is your greatest strength?

Being able to pick myself up when I’m down

117. Greatest weakness?

Being so emotional

118. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

I would want to look better. I think I could improve my face.

119. Introvert or Extrovert?

Introvert

120. Organised or messy?

Organized.

121. Three things you’re good at:

Writing, overthinking, and being a friend.

122. Three things you’re bad at:

Rationalizing, talking to strangers, and being alone

123. Do you like yourself?

Kinda

124. What is your life goal?

To be fully happy with who I am.

125. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Hopefully I’m married to jack. Maybe having a baby.

126. If you could choose, how would you want to die? With jack by my side. I don’t want to be alone.

127. Three things you would do with 24 hours left to live? Talk to my family and explain to them some things, tell Joel how important he is to the world, and to have some alone time with jack.

128. What is one thing you’d like to be remembered for after your death? Being a good person

129. Three words to describe your personality?

Awkward, caring, and nice.

130. Three words others use to describe your personality?

Awkward, horny, and fun😂