#aleksander morozova one shot | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dearmantis · 1 year ago

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Golden Crown of Sorrow

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x fem!Princess!Reader

Summary: After sending dozens of letters begging your father to help you flee from your betrothed and his family, someone finally comes to save you

Warnings: domestic abuse, neglectful/abusive parents, sexism/violence against women, mentions of suicide, murder, mentions of child murder, mentions of getting attacked by an animal (if you get bitten by something, even a human, get checked by a medical professional), Fjerda slander, mention of pregnancy

Word Count: 4k words

Authors Note: This was originally part of A little loss of Innocence but it works way better as it's own one shot. Also, please pay attention to the warnings. English is not my native language and I didn't edit this

"Did my father send you?" You ask as you settle in the carriage, voice timid and quiet in a way that is so unlike the version of you that he knows that it throws him off for a second.

You haven't spoken at all during the ride here, contempt in burying your fingers in the mane of his horse or sleeping as he led it away from the house of the family you were promised to, and starring at the forest or the small fires he lit to cook food during the breaks.

His gaze wanders over you, taking in the way your shoulders are pulled together to make you appear smaller, the small, almost invisible cut on your left cheek, the way you keep wincing when the carriage shakes a bit, and how your eyes keep jumping around, gaze always flickering between the window and the position of his hands.

He can't lie to you, he realises. You're suspicious and filled to the brim with fear and paranoia. Whatever happened in Fjerda has shaken you to the core and thrown you right into survival mode. If he lies to you and you find out, you will never trust him with anything ever again.

Because even if you recover from this, you will always remember the fact that he lied to you when you were in your most vulnerable state. And Aleksander needs the trust of the royal family, as much as he might despise that fact.

"No"

You bite your lip harshly, teeth digging into the chapped, dry flesh before you nod, eyes finding his. The suspicion in them is stronger now, accompanied by a bit of confusion.

"Then why did you come? What's in it for you?"

Aleksander frowns. "Excuse me, your highness?"

"Why are you saving me? Why did you decide to come here instead of letting me die in Djerholm? My own family was ready to watch me perish there after all."

There is no anger in your voice, no sadness, nothing. Just this monotone, quiet, submissive voice that doesn't fit someone born into the status of royalty.

But your gaze is scrutinizing, clarifying that every question you ask is a test designed to make him trip in hopes of revealing his true motivations. You're expecting him to lie to you. In the back of your mind you're probably already planning how to weasel the truth out of him, so all he can really do to take control over the situation and reassure you into trusting him is to reveal the truth and in turn his playing cards for this specific game.

You want him to lie, and he has never enjoyed doing what the royal family wants.

"Glory"

Your surprise is like a shooting star: Visible for a singular heartbeat, then gone forever.

"Glory?" Your eyes look back down to your knees, your hands playing with the fabric of the skirt of your dress while the volume of your voice drops into a whisper. "You won't achieve glory like this. You will most likely be punished for saving me, and I'll be sent back."

Your behaviour is starting to bother him. It was a welcome change when he first got you out and traveled through Fjerda with you on the saddle in front of him, but now all he wants to do is shake you until the words start falling out of your mouth.

He thought you were just quiet because you were scared of being caught, but evidently, nothing has changed for you after he led you across the border to Ravka.

Maybe it would've been better to lie? To tell you that he was some kind of chivalrous knight in shining armour who had come to Fjerda out of the goodness of his own heart to save his struggling princess?

"I doubt that you'll be send back, your highness," he responds carefully. He never thought about the fact that your family might be upset about him saving you. They did give you away after all, and he simply acted on the assumption that they love you and want you to be safe, like all parents should. He should know by now that many parents don't love their children.

"I hope you're right," you mumble, averting your gaze to look at the scenery of Ravka rushing past the window, "For the sake of both of us."

You sink back into silence after that, and the letter still stuck in a pocket of his kefta is suddenly heavy as a bag of bricks. It's a short one, written on a scrap of paper that you must've somehow smuggled out of the house of your betrothed. It had ended up in his mail one day, either through an accident or through a servant who couldn't continue to watch the king ignore your cries for help.

Please father. I don't know how much longer I can survive this. I dream of taking a knife to my throat every day. I'm not strong enough for this.

The next time you speak, you're less than ten minutes away from the town where he planned to take a break, your quiet voice piercing through the air like an arrow.

"Do you have to bring me to my father?"

Aleksander looks up from the documents he had been reading, a deep frown on his face. "Where else would I bring you, your highness?"

You mirror his facial expression. "You could hide me at the Little Palace."

"No, I can't. What if someone catches you?"

"Nobody would catch me, I promise. I would be so quiet, I would never leave my rooms I would-"

"No. End of the discussion, or I'll tell the coachman to turn around and bring you back to your betrothed."

His voice is sharp and cold, the stress from the last few days finally boiling over, and you flinch back from him so harshly that your head hits the wood behind you. Fear burns like a small fire in your gaze, your frame curling in on itself even further.

You don't talk at all for two days straight after that. The only time he hears your voice is when you scream and cry at night, probably due to nightmares.

Looking back, he probably overreacted a bit.

The next time you talk, it's only because he asks you a question.

You're both sitting in a tavern, quietly eating together, and while your gaze keeps jumping from the three other people around you to the door and the windows, his is glued to you.

He has collected a thousand questions on his tongue in the last few days, and his mind works overtime trying to discern the differences between you now and you before all of this. Before the betrothal, before your travels to Fjerda.

"What exactly happened to you in Fjerda?"

Your attention shifts to him, brows furrowed.

"The same thing that always happens when a woman of Ravka gets betrothed to a man of Fjerda."

In the back of his mind, he remembers the death of Princess Fruzsina. How her brother, crown prince Konstantin, didn't let anyone see her or her newborn daughters corpse when they were transported back to Ravka, not even her own parents.

"Nobody needs to see this. It's better to remember her the way she was when she was still here."

He feels acid rising in his throat.

You talk again a few hours later, attention flickering from the window of the carriage to him and back a few times before you finally manage to find your voice again.

"Why did no one ever betroth you to someone?" You ask carefully.

Aleksander looks up from the book he has been reading, a small spark of annoyance visible in his eyes at the interruption.

He regrets it as soon as he sees you flinch again, his mind immediately travelling back to that young woman completely wrapped in shroud, her small babe right next to her. Just bundles of linen, not a milimetre of skin visible.

"Excuse me, your highness?"

"Why did no one ever betroth you to someone?" You repeat, "Or one of your ancestors at least. Wouldn't that make sense? Tie you and the Darkling line to the royal family through marriage and kids, force allegiance that way?"

Closing the book slowly, he lets your words roll over in his head.

"The Darklings have been loyal to the Royal Family since the Black Heretic died."

"Yes, but wouldn't it be better to tie the families together forever? It would also help to smooth over past animosities, I think. Suddenly, the king isn't just a stranger. He's the current Darklings father in law or uncle. And the Darkling is no longer a random stranger to the Princes and Princesses either. He's their cousin."

The idea is simple and logical, he has to give you that, but he has also spent the last two centuries making sure he wouldn't be betrothed to anyone. It kind of ruins his whole "faking his death and pretending to be his own son" ruse, after all. But he can't explain that to you, can he?

"No ravkan king would ever betroth their child to a Grisha, your Highness. Not when all over the country highborn children are still drowned in lakes and bathtubs as soon as they show their abilities." The words come out harsher than originally planned, but he doesn't correct himself. "Why are you thinking about this? You've never shown interest in Grisha, me, or the politics surrounding us."

He has to wait almost thirty minutes for an answer to that question. He's gone back to reading, carefully annotating his thoughts and questions, when your voice rings through the carriage once more, almost getting swallowed by the noise of the horses outside.

"At night, when I couldn't sleep, I often asked myself if I had other options. If I could've gotten betrothed to someone else. One of the only men I could think of that were still eligible is... you. And as soon as I realised that, I also noticed that the Darklings have never married someone highborn."

There's something else, he can tell by the way you speak, slow and careful like you're holding something back, but before he can even think to push you the carriage shakes and your face contorts into a pained grimace.

He doesn't have to see the skin hidden by your clothes to know that you're probably covered in bruises and cuts, maybe even some animal bite marks.

You should rest, and he can still interrogate you later, so he slowly nods and returns to his book, his eyes gliding over the paper without absorbing a single word. His mind stays with you.

You start having an easier time moving and walking a week after escaping your betrothed and his family, but you're still visibly keyed up and stressed. Everything scares you, everything wakes your suspicion, everything worries you.

He hears you mutter under your breath sometimes, especially during the late hours of the night and the hours before sunrise, convinced that he must be asleep. He can never quite understand what you're saying, only catching a few words at a time when it happens. You whisper about wolves following your scent, of someone sending you back into the north, of shoving a knife into your neck, deep enough that not even a well trained healer would be able to save you in time.

Your lack of sleep worries him as well. The only times he has seen you truly sleep well were at the beginning of your travels. You almost slept for two days straight, sitting in front of him on his horse, his arms keeping you stable in the saddle, only waking up after he made camp for the night and forced you to drink and eat. Now, the only sleep you get is through small involuntary naps in the carriage, when the exhaustion claims you like it did in those first two days.

The nightmares that wake you as soon as you fall asleep don't help either.

You're petting and brushing the horses while the other Grisha accompanying you fill the water bottles at a nearby river, your only guard being the General himself sitting a few metres away, eyes on the forest surrounding you.

"I was surprised how much I missed you," you say after a while, your attention still fully on the beautiful horses in front of you, carefully brushing the dust and dirt out of their fur in hopes of making them a bit more comfortable, "I missed my brothers, of course, and my friends and servants as well. I missed the gardens of the Grand Palace, the beauty of Os Alta, my own bed. I missed being home and not being scared for my life. But I also missed you a lot more than I thought I would."

You don't look at him, your voice light as if you were talking about the weather.

"I kept thinking about how much time I spend bothering you, how much my own parents brainwashed me into disliking you, and how much you must've suffered because of that. I was a brat before I was sent north, I know that now, and I want to apologize for my behaviour. I can't thank you enough for coming to save me despite everything."

Aleksander is speechless for longer than he would like to admit, starring at you with visible shock on his face. It takes him a while to shake it off, to find the right words to respond to you.

"You were a child for most of it, Your Highness. It would be stupid of me to hold a grudge because of that."

He has held grudges because of less, but you don't need to know that. You're the first member of the Royal Family to actually apologize to him. Sure, you're probably only doing it because he saved you from your betrothed, but he can tell that you genuinely feel bad.

"It wouldn't be. I was a terror as a child and grew up to be a brat."

The Darkling frowns weakly, watching you carefully as you move onto the second horse to brush it.

"I was a brat, and stupid too. I heard the story of Princess Fruzsina a thousand times. I even dug through the archive to read the reports from the Healers. I know everything they did to her. I'm probably the only person alive that actually still knows, since no one ever bothers to read through those documents... and I went north anyway. I betrayed her memory. She begged in her last letter before she was murdered that they could never send another ravkan girl north, and I went anyway."

He shakes his head, responding to your words before he even realises that he opened his mouth. "You did what your parents wanted from you. They were the ones suggesting the betrothal, and they encouraged you to go through with it. If anyone betrayed Fruzsinas' memory, it's them, just like they betrayed you when they suggested the betrothal without educating you on the sensitive political climate in Fjerda and their exact traditions and rules."

"I'm a woman grown, General, and I did research on Fruzsinas murder on my own. I should've done the same with the treatment of women in Fjerda instead of blindly believing my mother when she assured me that the men in the north don't hit their wives anymore. That they wouldn't dare to hurt a girl from a royal family. I'm a stupid little girl, nothing more."

"You believed that your parents would keep you safe instead of selling your life away for a political alliance. You assumed that your family would do what they're supposed to do. That's not a sin, your highness."

"Oh, but it is!" You bite back, eyes finally meeting his. There's anger and hate flickering in your irises, but he knows it's not directed towards him. It's directed towards yourself. A weapon pointed at your own heart and soul instead of his head. "I'm old enough to think for myself, to make my own decisions. People expect it of me, but instead of using my head I follow my mother and father around and copy them in everything, playing the obedient little princess instead of developing a personality and beliefs of my own. It took a man beating me half to death in front of his men to change that, to free me of the shackles I put onto my own wrists and ankles."

Your voice is sharper than a knife, colder than the permafrost up north, and your breathing is getting harsher. Gone is the sumbissive, quiet thing he pulled out of that house in the middle of the night. "I did everything to apease my parents, to be the perfect princess in their eyes, in everyones eyes. I loved what they loved, hated what they hated, and did what they did. And for what? To be sold off like an animal to a slaughterhouse?"

A scoff escapes your lips, an unladylike sound that you would've never let yourself make before. He guesses you stopped caring. There are many unladylike noises that you've probably made while laying in your own blood, cowering from the man who was supposed to protect and cherish you.

"That's what I meant when I said that they will send me back. I had the help of two of the servant girls. They smuggled letters out for me and sent them off to my parents, but no answer ever came. The only reason why I got out is because you somehow knew that something was wrong and wrongfully assumed it was an opportunity for you to gain glory."

He doesn't mention that he knew of your predicament because one of your letters ended up with him on accident, nor does he disrupt you for any other reasons. This is the most you've spoken since he dragged you out of that forsaken house in Djelholm and smuggled you out of the city. It would be insane to cut you off now and risk never hearing of your thoughts and opinions ever again.

"It's ridiculous. Even if a miracle happens and I don't get sent back immediately, they will simply betroth me to someone else from Fjerda, like that's somehow going to fix the years of tension between our countries. I will never be safe again. I will never be allowed to stay here. I will never be free the way I was before all this. I didn't even realise how privileged I was."

There is a way to save you from that fate. Several, actually, but one of them would play right into his hands if he simply played his cards right.

Aleksander suggests it two days before they reach Os Alta while they sit in the carriage.

He doesn't do anything special, doesn't prepare anything or bothers to give a speech. It would be filled with lies and manipulation anyways, and you would probably be able to tell. He hasn't officially accepted your apology for your past behaviours, after all. He just says what he wants you to do, nothing more.

"Marry me."

Your head whips up, attention dragged away from the book you had been reading.

"What?"

He smiles. "Marry me."

The carriage is currently driving through a town, the noise of children playing and people talking filling the silence between you two.

"Why?" You finally ask, suspicion barely hidden in your body language.

He has many reasons to make a suggestion like this, of course. Tying himself to someone, an otkazat'sya no less, is incredibly risky for him, after all. It needs to be thought through carefully, which he has.

Aleksander feels like he has done nothing else other than think since your rescue.

You're popular with the people, ravkas beautiful rose, kind and sweet and obedient. If the commoners found out what happened to you, what your parents knowingly put you through with this betrothal, they would riot in the streets. It would only get worse if they found out that they sent you away from your lover.

The story basically writes itself. It would be easy to plant rumours amongst the merchants and peasants, make them believe that you were in love with him and planned to run off with him, knowing that the king and queen would never allow for your love to flourish. That your parents found out and sent you away for a betrothal to a harsh and violent man as a punishment. That he saved you because he loved you so deeply, marrying you on the road back to the Grand Palace in a small chapel, hoping that the marriage will tie your souls together forever even if he gets killed for disobeying the wishes of the king and queen.

If he does it right he can claim that your father attacked you and that he killed him and the rest of the royal family to defend you, or that Fjerdans assassinated the royal family in revenge for the failed betrothal and that Aleksander somehow managed to save you, placing you on the throne, him right next to you.

He would no longer be General, then, but king consort. Your reputation should be high enough with the otkazat'sya to balance the hatred they have for him out as well. The rose of ravka would never fall for an evil man, after all.

Of course, this plan could backfire horribly. What if you hate him after he slaughters your family? What if you don't want to be queen? What if one of your relatives manages to kill you before he can kill them? He would have to claim the throne through right of conquest, and the people would hate him for it, would turn your family into martyrs and put his Grisha at even more risk.

But the risks might be worth it. He just has to be smart.

And he'd be saving you from an awful marriage. He could be a god husband to you. He could make you happy.

Probably.

Of course, he can't confess these things to you. The best way to force you to participate in his plans is if you don't know that he's planning anything at all.

"They can't send you back if you're married. You'll be mine. I'd be able to hide you away in the Little Palace, just like you wanted."

You make a face, clearly not convinced.

"They'll just order a priest to annul it or kill you to make me a widow and renew the betrothal," you warn.

"Your highness, as much as I respect the swordsmanship of the guards, I sincerely doubt that they would be able to kill me. Besides, I don't think that they would be able to betroth you to a fjerdan man after we consummate the marriage."

The book you've been reading drops to the floor of the carriage with a quiet thump, but you don't even notice that it has left your grasp, your full, undivided attention on him.

You're probably trying to discern if he's serious, and if you should slap him for even suggesting something like this.

"There's a chapel in this town, and a small tavern right next to it," he murmurs after a while, offering his hand to you, "It wouldn't be like the royal wedding you probably dreamed of, but you would be safe. I swear it. I protect what is mine."

He watches you swallow, traces the movement with his gaze, gleeful at the visible effect his proposal has on you. He can see the temptation in your eyes, the battle you're fighting in your head.

Are you willing to go behind your parents' backs to marry him? Are you willing to become the Darklings wife, to carry his children?

You grab his hand slowly, the look in your eyes vulnerable.

His smile widens when his fingers wrap around yours, his hand moving to knock against the wood of the carriage to get it to stop.

#aleksander morozova x reader #general kirigan x reader #darkling x reader #the darkling x reader

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lupinsversion · 2 months ago

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𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐤𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐳𝐨𝐯𝐚 - 𝐖𝐡𝐲 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮

• summary: aleksander is burdened by the heavy weight of being the general to the second army, the feared darkling, but sometimes he just wants to feel like aleksander again. being so cold and distant can be draining, and he finds himself wanting to be vulnerable for just a moment in privacy. reader is confused on why he was showing this side of himself to her… why her?

• contains: alexander morozova x fem reader, vulnerability, fluff

• word count: 2k

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Despite his cold and calculating reputation, as any person would, Aleksander had a secret soft spot. And that soft spot was a woman, the one person to whom he allowed a tiny glimpse of a more vulnerable side of him. Around her, he let his guard down, revealing a more human aspect of himself.

But she didn’t even notice, swearing up and down to herself that he was like that with everyone.

She didn’t know the truth, that underneath the cold and calculating demeanor, that he had softer side that he reserved for her alone. She thought his tenderness and vulnerability were just a trick of her imagination, mere illusions that did not exist outside of her own mind. Meanwhile, he cherished her presence, a small beam of joy in his often dark and calculating existence.

Currently, he was walking down the crowded halls of the Little Palace, his eyes scanning the sea of people. The halls were bustling with activity, filled with the hustle and bustle of Grisha hurrying to class or to meet with others.

She was in the same hall, in a bit of a rush, which wasn’t unlike her as she often was late or slept in. She wasn’t watching where she was going, causing her small body to run straight into a hard frame.

As she collided with his solid form, he instinctively put his hands on her waist to keep her steady. The contact, even through layers of clothing, was like a jolt of electricity shooting through him, as it always was with her.

She suddenly shot her eyes up towards him and an apologetic expression came across her face. “Oh, Saints. I’m so sorry, General Kirigan.”

“It’s alright. No harm done.” He murmured, his voice softer than usual as he looked down at her. The softness in his voice surprised even him, a rare moment of vulnerability he only allowed in her presence.

“Running late as usual, I see.” He added, a hint of amusement playing in his eyes. He couldn’t help but notice the way his heart quickened its pace, a subtle response to being near her.

“Actually, I forgot something in the library.” She corrected gently before taking note that his hands were still on her waist, causing her to tense up slightly.

It was then that he became aware of where his hands were, causing him to pull back suddenly, as if he had been burned by the contact. He didn’t like how easily he could lose himself around her, how the smallest touch or the softness in her voice could make his heartbeat quicken.

He cleared his throat slightly, trying to regain his usual air of authority. “You should be more careful.” He scolded, though his tone lacked the usual sternness it held when talking to others.

“I’ll keep that in mind. I’m sorry again.” Her shoulders slumped back to their usually relaxed position. “I should go. I truly apologize again.” She spoke quietly before moving to walk around him, mentally cursing herself for apologizing three times in the matter of a minute or two.

As she tried to move past him, he found himself reaching out, his hand lightly grabbing her wrist. The suddenness of his own action surprised him, but he couldn’t allow her to just slip away.

Her head turned back in his direction, a mixture of concern and worry coursing through her, and a hint of something else.

His tone softened further, something he only reserved for her over time — and only for her. “Stay for a moment. I wish to speak to you.”

“What is it?” She asked, her brows knotting together ever so slightly.

He hesitated for a moment, his eyes darting around the hallway to make sure the two of them were now alone. He let go of her wrist and motioned for her to follow him, leading her into a nearby parlor room.

Her steps were slower than his, but she followed nonetheless as her eyes scanned the hall before entering the room behind him.

As soon as they were out of view of prying eyes and nosy gossips, he closed the door behind them, the sound of their solitude making him slightly tense and nervous. He turned around to face her, a serious expression on his face.

“You’re constantly rushing around, not paying attention to your surroundings.” He said, his tone holding a subtle hint of concern. “It’s reckless and you know it.”

She took a deep breath. A scolding that she should’ve seen coming, but still, that didn’t explain why they were in a room alone together. “You have a point, it is reckless. This was the first time that I actually ran into someone.”

His gaze softened further, his tone still chastising but with a hint of gentleness. “It only takes one time. I just…” He paused, a mixture of irritation and concern filling his words. “I don’t want to see you getting hurt because of your carelessness.”

“I’ll be more careful, slow it down.” She spoke with promise.

He studied her face for a moment, searching her face for signs of her sincerity or just her typical feistiness. He found himself softening entirely to her, his stern expression slowly melting away.

“Excuse my boldness, but why not say that in the hall as you usually would?” She pointed to the closed door behind her that they only entered a minute ago.

He sighed as she pointed out the closed door, realizing the ridiculousness of his own actions. As if drawn to her, he moved closer, closing the distance between them slowly.

His silence and the way he moved closer only seemed to confuse her more.

He stopped just inches away from her, his hands lifting and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I needed privacy… for this.” He murmured, his tone soft but with a mix of vulnerability and hesitancy.

Her eyes darted over to the hand that was touching her, a hand wrapping around his wrist to still his movements against her skin. “I’m not quite sure I’m understanding.”

His heart constricted. Her touch sent a jolt of electricity through him, momentarily pulling him back to reality. He let her pause his movements, but didn’t remove it from her hair. He took a step closer, his voice barely above a whisper. “There are some things… that I’m just not able to talk about in public.”

“I’m not quite sure I’m following. Scolding in public is what you do.” She added softly, her tone gentle and cautious at the same time.

She was right, he knew she was right, and yet… He sighed and shook his head a little, his eyes never leaving hers. His other hand gently cupped her cheek, his thumb grazing softly over her jaw. “Can we pretend for a moment that I’m not just the Darkling, the cold and calculating General Kirigan, and just… a man? Can I just be… Aleksander… for a few moments?”

Her face softened at his question. His words were slightly pleading and it left her speechless, only mustering a small nod in response. Her fingers around his wrist seemed to tighten their hold ever so slightly.

He felt the tightening of her grip around his wrist, her small nod and soft features filling him with a mixture of relief and an undeniable need to be closer to her. He took another step closer, his other hand moving to hold her waist. He leaned his forehead against hers, his gaze remaining locked. “Thank you.” He murmured softly, his voice filled with genuine vulnerability. There was a hint of desperation, as if he had been craving the chance to be seen as more than just a fearsome general.

His heart pounded harder in his chest as he stood there, their foreheads touching, and his hand still on her face and waist. It was a moment of tenderness and raw vulnerability, something he had never allowed himself to show so openly. He knew that he should not be this close, that he should not be letting his guard down like this. But in this moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. All that mattered was that he was seem by her, seen as a man and not just the formidable general.

The moment stretched on, the silence between them was somehow soothing and filled with a different kind of tension. The feel of her hand around his wrist and her sweet, soft scent filling his senses… It was if time had stopped, and he could just be Aleksander. Just a man, standing in a room with the woman he was hopelessly and selfishly in love with.

She seemed to hesitate as she stared into his eyes. Her hand moved up towards his face, her words coming out in the faintest whisper. “Can I?”

His heart skipped a beat, his breath catching in his throat at the sound of her soft, whispered words. He felt a mix of vulnerability and longing wash over him. He nodded, his words barely escaping in a hushed tone. “Please…”

Her fingers softly grazed over the skin of his cheek, his scruff poking at her soft skin but it only seemed to fuel her movements.

His eyes fluttered shut, his body and mind seemingly surrendering to the delicate touch of her fingers against his skin. The feel of her fingers on his cheek, exploring and gentle was a soothing balm on his weary soul. His scruff tickled at her fingers, sending a shiver down his spine. It was a moment of simple yet profound contact, as if time and reality had no meaning in the face of her touch.

He couldn’t help but to lean into her touch, his body craving more of her presence. It was as if her fingers were tracing a trail of liquid fire on his skin, setting his nerves ablaze and grounding him in this moment. He had almost forgotten how good it felt to be touched so gently.

She studied his face as her fingers explored, taking in every line, faint scar, and slight twitch. He was breathtaking up close and she couldn’t even comprehend how she ended up in this situation.

He kept his eyes closed as her fingers traced over his skin, a new sense of vulnerability washing over him. Her delicate caress was like a soothing wave, soothing away the rigidness and tension within him. He felt exposed and vulnerable, but at the same time, it felt like some form of release, a brief respite from the weight of his responsibilities and the constant need to manta in a strong facade.

“Forgive me…” She whispered cautiously. “But I am not quite sure what is going on here.”

Her whisper broke the spell that had momentarily encased them, pulling him back to reality and reminding him of the surreal sensation they found themselves in. He sighed softly, his eyes still closed as he leaned into her touch, unwilling to let go of the moment just yet. “What do you mean?” He murmured, his voice just barely over a whisper.

That caused her to hesitate on her next words. “We’re here, together. But… why?”

Her question echoed in his mind, a reminder of the fragility of the moment they were sharing. He let out another sigh, his eyes finally opening to meet hers through his lashes. His voice was still gentle, a rare softness to his tone. “I…” He hesitated, taking a moment to find his words. “I needed a moment of privacy, to be somebody different, even if it were for just a few moments… to just be Aleksander.”

“But why with me?” She added gently.

He gently reached up, his hands covering hers that was still resting on his cheek. He pressed her hand further into his skin, feeling the softness of her own skin and taking comfort in it. As he held her hand, he couldn’t help but marvel at the contrast between their skin tones — hers, soft and fair, and his — rugged and scarred. “Why not you…” He murmured softly.

#shadow summoner #shadow and bone #grisha #grishaverse #the darkling x reader #the darkling smut #the darkling #general kirigan smut #general kirigan x reader #general kirigan #aleksander morozova x you #aleksander morozova smut #aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander #aleksander morozova

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thebadgerclan · 2 years ago

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Unaware

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x reader

Summary: Some at the Sanctuary are unaware of who you are...

A/N: This is the “protective husband fluff” that I mentioned earlier, but I don’t have an exam next week, so I’m gonna write the other one to lol

I was thinking about how much I think Aleksander would hate people saying that his wife “belongs to him” and crap, so voila

Y/G/T is your Grisha type (Heartrender, Inferni, etc.) and Y/G/C is your Grisha color (red, blue, purple)

Life at the Sanctuary was…different than you were used to. At the Little Palace, there was order; the Grisha had their duties and were kept busy by them, they had their ranks and they stuck to them. But here, in this abandoned noble’s country estate, with no formal training, no Second Army duties to attend to, no children to teach, the Grisha were restless. Restless, and some angry about what had happened to your people, angry that General Kirigan had taken so long to rescue some of them.

And there were Grisha being brought in every day, some that had never resided at the Little Palace, and therefore, had no idea who you were. It didn’t help that when you’d fled the Little Palace, you’d been in your Y/G/C kefta rather than your black, making you appear as just another Y/G/T rather than the wife of the General. There was one such Grisha, Androv, who hadn’t lived at the Palace, and had no idea who you were, that you tried impossibly hard to avoid, but to no avail.

You were in what had become the mess hall of the Sanctuary, several sheets of parchment spread before you. Aleksander had asked you to compile a list of the Grisha who had been known residents of the Little Palace that had yet to arrive at the Sanctuary, in the hopes that a search party could be assembled. But you’d barely scratched the surface when the roster you were referencing was swept from the table on a gust of wind.

“Hello beautiful,” Androv greeted, and you suppressed the urge to roll your eyes. “Androv,” you replied curtly, rising from your seat to retrieve your paper. “Is there something I can do for you?” The Squaller smirked, flicking his wrist and blowing the paper further away from you. “You’ve been playing hard to get, haven’t you? Pretending you don’t see me, acting like you don’t know what I want.”

Everyone in the mess hall had turned to watch; those who knew who you were with fear in their eyes, those who didn’t with concern and interest. “I don’t know what you mean,” you said, stooping to reach for the roster. Androv stepped closer to you, his body pressed to yours. You shot upright, body going stiff, blood running cold. “Get away from me,” you whispered, panic seeping in.

You knew you should shove him away, use your power to get him away from you, but fear had frozen you, stealing your ability to call your power. Unseen, the nichevo’ya that followed you always slithered from the room, intent to alert its master to your distress. Aleksander, who was in the room he’d claimed as his study, felt a knot form in his chest and abandoned his work, rushing through the corridors towards the pull he felt to you.

“And where would be the fun in that, darling?” Androv cooed, wrapping his arms around your middle. You wanted to fight, to scream, to do anything, but you were petrified. Tears streaked down your cheeks, and the Squaller laughed. “So pretty when you cry,” he sneered. A dreadful, cold, sickening feeling had filled Aleksander’s chest, and he broke into a run, needing to find you, to protect you from whatever was causing you such feelings.

“What are you doing?” Fruzsi, your husband’s new second, asked as she entered. Androv turned to face her, but did not let you go. “Oh relax,” he said, rolling his eyes. “It’s just a bit of fun.” The Tidemaker stepped closer, and while you didn’t quite like the woman, at least she was coming to your defense. “She belongs to Kirigan!” It was at that moment that Aleksander entered, and at the sight before him and Fruzsi’s words, his nichevo’ya writhed angrily.

“I will give you exactly ten seconds to unhand my wife and explain what gives you the right to attempt to force yourself on any woman,” your husband said, voice dangerous. Androv shoved you to the ground, as if that would be any redemption, and you cried out. Aleksander came to your side, offering you his hands and gently helping you to your feet. “Aleksander, I… he…”

“Shhh, it’s alright, my love,” you husband soothed, wrapping you in his arms. His voice was calm and gentle, but his gaze was murderous. The nichevo’ya skittered around you, but you knew that they were protecting you, that they could never hurt you. “Do you care to explain yourself?” your husband asked. “I didn’t know,” Androv stuttered. “I didn’t know she belonged to you.”

You felt Aleksanders anger spike, as well as saw it; his shadow monsters shrieked. “Allow me to make one thing perfectly clear,” he said. “To all of you. Y/N does not belong to anyone. She belongs to herself. Yes, she is my wife, but she does not belong to me.” Aleksander flicked his wrist, and an inky gash opened on Fruzsi’s cheek. “Why?” she screamed, and your husband scoffed. “What have I done?”

“You implied that Y/N is property. That, Fruszi, was a warning. As for you.” Your husband pressed a kiss to your cheek and whispered for you to look away as he unwound his arms from your body. “Not only did I witness you forcing your attentions on one of my soldiers, I witnessed you forcing your attentions on my wife. And I do not take such an offense lightly.”

With another flick of his wrist a nichevo’ya surged forth and attacked, tearing Androv’s head from his body, his face permanently etched into a scream. Aleksander immediately took you back into his arms, holding you close. “Let this be a lesson,” he said, addressing his Grisha. “To those who would try to disrespect my wife, and to those who attempt to force themselves upon anyone else.”

Aleksander lifted you into his arms and carried you from the room, his nichevo’ya trailing obediently behind. When you were back in your rooms, he gently sat on the bed, keeping you in his lap. “My love, are you alright?” he asked, looking you over for any sign of injury. “I’m so sorry, I should have known, I should have taken care of him before.” “I’m alright,” you said, sniffling. “Shaken, but alright. He was really just irritating until…”

“That will never happen again,” your husband vowed. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I’m so sorry that you had to endure that.” Aleksander pulled you close, and you let yourself drown in his embrace. “You were there,” you whispered, kissing his collarbones, where your head rested. “He didn’t hurt me, and you were there.” Your husband squeezed his eyes shut, resting his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much, my Y/N,” he whispered, and you pressed your lips to his. With your kiss, you felt some of the tension drain out of him, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. “I will do everything within my power to protect you.” “I know you will, Aleksander,” you replied, kissing him again. “I love you.” In a perfect world, Aleksander would be at your side constantly, defending you from any and every threat.

But this was not a perfect world: he was at war, his people were fractured, his resources were spread thin. It simply wasn’t possible to protect you from everything, especially from the people he thought he could trust, the people he thought were on his side. But what Aleksander could do, he would. He would ensure his soldiers knew who you were; that you were to be respected and to be protected. He would have his nichevo’ya follow you, to alert him to any imminent threat. And while it wouldn’t protect you, he would love you–he would love you so fiercely and completely that you might just forget about the war raging on your doorstep.

#aleksander morozova x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #shadow and bone reader insert

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kasagia · 2 years ago

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I'll be back for you

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/General Kirigan/The Darkling x reader, Kaz Brekker x reader Summary: The Moon Summoner ran away with Alina from the Little Palace with the help of Kaz Brekker's crows. The group successfully escaped from Darkling's hands, but that doesn't mean he will forget about his Y/N. He's going to chase her until she is in his arms again. However, Mr. Brekker did not let his childhood friend disappear without a trace from his life again. He will protect her. For all costs. After all, she was his newest investment. Warning(s): Darkling, Kaz fights haphephobia (but not as severe for him ), reader argues with Baghra, reader has internal moral conflict, curses, fights, and their red aftermath, I used a quote from TVD and The Invisible Life of Addie Laurie because… they fit and I love them veeery much It's my first one-shot for both Darkling and Kaz, so please be gentle (I'm very nervous and excited at the same time to publish it) <3 Word count: 14k (too long, someone should take me away from the keyboard in the middle of this)

~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 (end) ~•♤♤♤•~

Every night since you escaped with Alina and Genya with the help of your childhood friend Kaz and his crows from Ravka, you've been haunted by nightmares. No. Not the usual horrible flashbacks of your past in Ketterdam or the Little Palace.

HE visited you.

The Darkling. The Black Heretic. The man who promised to keep your heart safe and broke it in two along with your trust.

Genya has a right to warn you about powerful men. But you, the lost girl kidnapped by slave hunters from Ketterdam, the girl who has nothing to lose and was happy enough to somehow end up in the general's tent and find out about being one of the most powerful Grisha, didn't want to listen to her.

You foolishly believed that you, of all people, were able to charm the most dangerous man in all Ravka with your beauty, character and mind.

You believed that sweet words, longing glances and tender moments between you were real, that they meant something.

But it was all just a game. A game that brought him your affection and blind trust. And Kirigan, Darkling, or Alexander played in it like mastermind.

You should have listened to Genya. At least those damn dark eyes wouldn't haunt you every time you closed yours.

With the taste in men you have, you should have predicted that the first guy you hooked up with would be a psychopath. Fate could only be a little bit more favorable to you and not connect you to the hundreds-year-old black heretic who created the fold.

You've always had a weakness for villains and gray characters.

Your first teenage crush only proved it.

Because who else but you would fall in love with a bastard boy from the barrel who started his criminal career with the Dregs, who couldn't stand the touch of other people, and who wanted nothing more in his life than revenge on Pekka Rollins?

If I survive this shit, I really should find someone normal to be with.

You thought before you somehow managed to fall asleep for the first time in a month, hoping that your bond with the Darkling would weaken for those few hours when you tried to find peace.

~•♤♤♤•~

It was pure darkness around you. Not that one when all the lights went out and it's only you and your bed. No. They felt too familiar for you to confuse them with anything else. Those were his shadows.

He must have been near, playing with you as he always had.

You carefully took one step forward. The shadows parted in front of you, so you could see the ground. You bent down to your boot and pulled out a dagger, hiding it behind the sleeve of your blouse. You had to be ready for anything. Even if it meant fighting the shadow lord himself in your own subconscious. You sighed, stepping uncertainly into the darkness.

Your eyes quickly adjusted to the place around you, allowing you to move faster along the path. You recognized this bloody spot. The path in the woods you raced down when he took you for your first ride. Then he dragged you to HIS fountain, telling you nonsense about how it's only here among other Grishas that you discover your true self. He was already weaving his manipulative web around you, and you fell into it like an oblivious fly.

The snap of a twig stopped you. You looked around, not seeing anything at all except for the fountain in the distance. You flinched as his shadows gently pushed you forward.

"I'm not going to play another of your games, General!" you screamed as you spun around, walking forward. If he was already disturbing you, at least he might have had the honor to step out of the shadows.

"Call me Aleksander…"

You shivered as you felt his soft whisper against your neck. You spun, summoning your light and shooting into the space behind you. Unfortunately, it didn't encounter any Black Heretics on its way.

You huffed angrily, continuing your walk until you reached the fountain.

It was different than when he brought you here last time. The engravings have changed. They no longer told the story of the Black Heretic who created the fold. They were of you and Aleksander. Slowly falling in love.

"The union of darkness and his light." you felt your body tremble as the fabric of his kefta brushed your hand.

"I would never have taken you for such a sentimental fool." you turned to face him, taking a step back to increase the distance between you. With a very smug smirk, you noticed that he had dark circles under his eyes. Good. At least the son of a bitch suffers as much as you do. "Especially not after what Baghra had told me."

"My mother has the amazingly irritating gift of ruining my plans. She also doesn't like the people I care about much."

"Hmm… what a pity. Maybe if you weren't planning to use us as weapons in your plans, I'd care more. Also, don't try to tell me that there are people in this world who are more important to you than yourself. We both know I'm not going to fall for it again."

"I understand your resentment." you laughed, shaking your head in disbelief as you turned your gaze back to the fountain. "What's so funny?" you relished every irritated word directed at you. Maybe you couldn't seriously hurt him physically, but at least you could be a pain in his ass.

"I just forgot how easy it is for you to choose words that both tell the truth and work in your favor. Please, continue. I didn't truly laugh for a very long time."

"You're making a mistake." he stood next to you, grabbing your arm to turn you toward him.

You yanked your arm out of his grip as soon as your powers met in that familiar dance of dark and light. You both sighed, stunned by the sudden combination of your powers coursing through your veins. You opened your eyes, which you closed in the flow of the moment, meeting his tender, longing gaze. The man reached out to cup your cheek, but you pulled away from him before your skin had a chance to touch again.

"Funny. That's what I heard from your mother before she made me realize what shit I got into."

"One conversation with my mother, and you're ready to give it all up? Just because she was faster than me? Because she revealed a truth about me that she had no right to? What if I wanted to tell you right after I dealt with the group that wanted to attack you and Miss Starkov?" the grudge in his eyes only fueled your anger. He had no right to resent you for running away from him at the earliest opportunity when he had been hiding this important piece of his past for so long.

"What does it matter, general? None of it was real anyway." you growled, turning your back on him again so as not to reveal your hidden emotions to him. You didn't want him to know that you still cared. Indifference was a worse punishment for him than your wrath.

"So c'mon. Prove your point. Turn around, look me in the eyes, and tell me that you didn't feel anything towards me for even the slightest moment."

You wanted. You really did. To look directly into his soul-black eyes and say that he meant as much to you as the dust under your shoes. However, you both knew very well that it would be just a poor lie. And you both knew each other well enough to know when the other was lying.

"Just because my foolish heart longs for something, it doesn't mean I'll give in to its stupid desires. Wasn't you the one who told me that wanting makes us weak?"

"You should know I've changed my mind by now." the sound of leaves crunching under his boots was the only warning you got before you felt his presence behind you. "You. You are changing my mind."

"Don't tell me I have any influence over you. It's a poor play. You can do better, Kirigan."

"You and I may change the world, Y/N…" you flinched as you heard the exact same words he said here so many months ago. You turned to face him when you felt the coldness of one of his shadows wrapping around your leg. You pointed your dagger at the man standing only one, little step away from you. He didn't seem affected at all as you pointed the dagger at him. He didn't even look at it. His eyes were only on yours. "You may not see it now, too blinded by your righteous, but not entirely fair, anger at me, but deep down, you know that we are destined for greater things than others. You, me, and Alina together can be the strongest creatures in the world."

"You know very well that we never wanted to live like this. Neither of us."

"Do you? Alina maybe doesn't want to be the Saint, but you, Y/N?" you took a step back and another as the black heretic approached you with his every word. He stood in front of you, letting the dagger you were holding in your trembling hands touch his chest. He smiled almost mockingly, seeing that your weapon against him was exactly the same one he gave you on your birthday, provoking your anger again. To spite him, you summoned wispy beams of white light that began to radiate from your hand to chase away his shadows.

"You don't know what I want." you growled, pressing the dagger harder against his heart to remind him that you were in control here. He could sneak into your dreams, but at night you were the most powerful Grisha in this bloody world. And even he had to reckon with your power.

"Yet I still see a desire in your eyes." you shifted your gaze to him, watching him silently and with hostility as his face was illuminated only by your powers. You were disgusted to find that, despite his betrayal, he was still equally handsome to you. "Not only for me but also for my power. You, my little moonlight, you want to be just like me. Strong, powerful, and ageless." he raised his hand deftly, dodging your dagger, and, under your watchful gaze, brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, stroking your cheek as he did so. He took a step towards you, causing you to press the blade against his neck as he got close enough to whisper in your ear. "You can run as far as you want, but you don't run from the truth that's inside you. And when you finally understand what you really want, I'll be there for you, waiting with open arms for my saint moon."

"Have fun waiting for this day, Morozova." you whispered, not giving in to his piercing gaze.

"I am a very patient man, after a thousand years on this earth, you will be too, Y/L/N."

"I'm not you, Aleksander. I don't wanna live forever, and I'm not gonna. I won't see the only people I truly love and care about die before me. Even eternity and unimaginable power are not worth it."

"They're still people you love and who can share this fate with you. Who will live long enough to be with you forever." one of his shadows began to wrap around your hand, forcing you to remove the dagger from his neck.

He leaned closer to you and rested his forehead against yours. You sighed, shivering as the scent of his familiar perfume enveloped you after so many weeks apart. You were tempted to give in to him again. And that dark desire in your heart terrified you more than the capabilities of the Black Heretic caressing your cheek.

"This isn't love. It was just a game. We were just playing a game. The same one you created a long time ago to earn my trust. But I'm no longer that naive girl who is desperate for somebody's attention and love. You made me stronger, crueler, ruthless. And believe me, general, I'll repay you for all you have done."

"You don't believe that. You can't have believed my mother that I am your villain so easily." in other circumstances, where your heart wasn't beating for his, you'd probably laugh at the desperation in his voice. But now that every fiber of you longed for the man before you, there was only one thing you could do.

"Then tell me, Aleksander..." you leaned in to him, rubbing his nose with yours as he closed his eyes and waited for your lips to finally touch after weeks of craving your slightest touch. "Why was I so tempted to do this?" you dug into his tempting mouth, giving you both what you needed.

In your head, you explained this crime against your friends as wanting to do what was originally intended to be your primary goal. The gentle prolongation of your longing, amazing, desperate kiss before you plunged the dagger into his side without the slightest hesitation wasn't your fault at all. Aleksander moaned into your lips, pulling away from you as he felt blood trickle down his side.

"Leave me alone, or I will make myself your villain." you whispered into his mouth before you somehow managed to get yourself out of your "dream".

~•♤♤♤•~

"Y/N?" Alina's soft whisper wakes you up. You opened your eyes, feeling how your chest was burning for fresh air and your heart beating faster than it should. The woman was sitting next to you, holding your hand.

In the corner of your eye, you can see Nina standing in the doorway of the room Kaz graciously assigned to you after you arrived in Ketterdam. You can swear on saints that Inej was looking through your window before she went - probably going to tell Kaz about your fourth nightmare this week.

And it was only Tuesday.

You felt attacked from all sides. If not Inej through the window, then the madmen through the door or in your dreams.

"What are you doing here? It's well after midnight." you asked her, gratefully accepting a towel from Nina to wipe the sweat from your face. Alina and Genya lived far from the club, in motels on opposite sides of the city.

"Just in case someone betrays us. At least one of you will save yourself if the Darkling comes to these parts."

Brekker's brilliant and preventive mind had already terrified you before you stepped off the boat onto the familiar land of Ketterdam. The fact that he thought through and arranged your accommodation before anyone could ask him was either another display of his otherworldly mind or a blatant act of arrogance and overconfidence in his strength against the Darkling. But you knew Kaz too well to assume that he underestimated the power of the Black Heretic even for a moment.

"Nice to see you too. Kaz sent for me."

"Since when does the sun summoner do all the Dreg king's orders?" you asked, making Nina laugh.

"Since the moon summoner is constantly skipping her bedtime. You have to sleep. You can't always be on Jesper's special energetic drinks." she scolded you like a little child, to which you snorted indignantly.

"I will take a gorgeous, lovely, very long nap right after we kill Kirigan. Before then, nobody can make me do that. And tell Kaz I remembered him as braver the last time we saw each other on your way back to the motel."

"We are just worried about you, Y/N. You slept the whole night only once since we left."

"Don't tell me you're surprised. If you were me, you would do the same."

"Maybe. But we both know you're stronger than me. I know you can beat him, and even if you can't do this alone, which I doubt…" she wrapped her hand around yours, making you look into her eyes again. "You must know I will always be by your side, like you by mine. It's you and me against the darkness, Y/N."

"You know, you've spent way too much time on that boat with your toughts. You sound like an old uncle giving good advice or something."

"Speaking of advice, if I were you, I wouldn't insult the only person who can wake you up from… this." Nina waved her hand in a circle, pointing to the miserable state you were in.

"You should see Kirigan. I stabbed him." you replied with a self-satisfied smirk, watching the heartrender gasp in shock and Alina shake her head in disapproval.

"What have I told you about starting unnecessary arguments with him and maiming him?"

"That this is a good way to vent my anger and frustration?" you asked innocently with a huge smile.

Alina drew breath to argue with you, but a knock on the door distracted her. You glanced at Jesper, peering into your room, and wrinkled your nose at the light-burnt sheets you and Alina had left.

"The boss wants you, moon girl."

"Not only him." you murmured, pulling the remnants of the quilt from yourself. You took your clothes out of the closet and turned to the people in the room with your hands on your hips. "Are you leaving or staying for the show?" Alina mumbled a silent apology, blushing in embarrassment as she left, along with a laughing Jesper and an amused Nina.

You sighed as you stood in front of the mirror and brushed away the sweaty hair that was stuck to your face. Thanks to Inej and Kirigan, it looks like you'll have a long conversation with Kaz about your safety again. Your friend was sometimes a bigger pain in the ass than you—an achievement that wasn't granted by you to just anyone.

"I just fucking hope you're writhing in pain right now." you muttered to yourself, not believing for a moment in the sincerity of what you just said.

~•♤♤♤•~

"You wanted me." you entered the Dirtyhands' office without knocking, taking a place of honor on one of the two comfortable armchairs in the room. Kaz didn't look up from his papers, but the slight crease of irritation on his forehead told you he had noticed your presence. You were surprised that, after years of separation, you could still read him easily. "It's rude to ignore your guest."

"It's rude to come in without knocking." he replied to your provocation, tracing something he had just written. You snorted in amusement, seeing that you managed to distract him.

"Well, I didn't come here for no reason. You sent Jes for me."

"Jes?" a diminutive you used for his sharpshooter, has earned the man's attention. He gave you a questioning look, throwing the papers on his desk.

"What? Can't I make a friend other than you?"

"I'm your boss." he hummed, getting his cane up from his desk and walking to his dresser. You rolled your eyes as you watched the man's back. The son of a bitch knew perfectly well that you hated it when he didn't look at you during a conversation.

"Sure, if it helps you sleep, tell yourself what you want, Brekker."

"You live at my club, sleep here, eat with my crows, and waste my time taking some useless gossip from downstairs." he enumerated, turning over his things and searching persistently for something.

"And I'd been doing this for four years before you became Mr. Scary Dirtyhands from the Barrel. You just proved my point, Kazzle. We are friends."

You got up from your chair and stood next to him. You glanced at the contents of his drawer and frowned, noticing something familiar. You reached for a small silver box with his REAL initials on it, but the man slammed the drawer shut before you could get your hands on the find. You snorted indignantly as you noticed the smug smirk on his face as he nearly clipped your fingers for your meddling.

Kaz Brekker was sentimental enough to keep the ashtray you gave him.

You involuntarily remembered what you told him when you handed it to him.

"I know you don't smoke and don't celebrate your birthday, but I think that's a pretty nice metaphor and the closure you need."

"What? An old ashtray from the market? Which you probably swept from under the noses of some heavy smokers."

"No, genius, in case you haven't noticed, it has a special engraving. Read it."

"For K.R., let him rest in peace. What's that supposed to mean?"

"You can consider it what you want. A keepsake of your former self, a lost life you might have had, an urn for the ashes of your former self... we both know you're not the same man you used to be. And you have every right to be, Kaz. It's just... I think you deserve something commemorating your old self. The boy who stole half-rotten apples with me to survive. Now you are someone else—someone stronger, wiser, cunninger... but know that I will never forget Kaz, who was my only light when I was at my worst."

"That's pretty sentimental for you. Also, calling me light is not quite an appropriate metaphor." he replied coolly, returning to his book.

You nodded to him, saying goodbye. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him stroke a silver object for a moment and put it in his pants pocket. You smiled. Apparently, you weren't the only sentimental fool in Ketterdam.

"Then, as my friend, you won't mind telling me about that strange connection between you and the Darkling that keeps you from sleeping without threatening to set my club on fire with your dazzling moonlight?" he asked, snapping you out of your flashback.

"No, because, as my friend, you won't be nosy, and out of politeness, you won't ask."

"I anticipated this reaction. That's why I got this." a velvet ring box magically appeared in his hands.

"Are you going to propose to me? Oh, Kazzie, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this! You don't have to kneel, sweetheart. We can call Jes, and he'll do it for you. It's a perfect opportunity for him to practice before asking Wylan."

"Can you be serious for just one moment, please?" he asked, blushing slightly and trying to give you one of his famous menacing looks.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. Besides, you could have foreseen in that plan of yours that I would never waste such an opportunity."

"Just open it." he sighed, tossing you the box. Too curious to find out what was inside, you decided to leave the poor boy alone and refrained from commenting further. You widened your eyes as you saw the real ring. "What? No enthusiastic and loud: "Yes, Kazzie, I'll marry you!", so my crows can tease me about it too? To be honest, I'm disappointed, Y/N."

"Well, I could have been joking about it when I didn't have a ridiculously beautiful ring in front of me. Sorry that I'm a little confused, Kaz."

"It's good you like it, but I'd rather know if it works as it should. Put it on your finger."

"As romantic as always." you murmured, trying on a silver ring with an opal and small diamonds around the stone. You raised your hand and, by using your power, increased the light reflected by the moon that was still in the sky so it could illuminate your new jewelry. "It's beautiful, but I have absolutely no idea what it is supposed to do."

"Protect you." you glanced back at Kaz, only to discover that he had been staring at you the entire time. The white sparkles in his eyes caused by your light captivated you more than the shining diamonds. You shook your head, remembering what happened the last time you gave in to your stupid crush.

"Protect me?"

"I've been doing some research with Alina and Nina about the bond between you and him, the amplifiers… we believe this will weaken the bond between you enough for you to sleep peacefully. He will not enter your mind uninvited." he said, spitting out the words about the Darkling like he was a plague. But you were more interested in something quite different from his open dislike of the Black Heretic.

"Why? Why are you getting through all of it for me? It's not your war to fight. You have no interest in it."

"I have. Since I got you out of the Little Palace, you've been my investment. And I protect everything I invest in and what's worth my time. No matter what."

"You do realize I won't bring you any profit? Alina would be a better choice than me." you questioned his choice. Kaz turned to the window, as if looking for Inej, whose arrival would interrupt this uncomfortable conversation.

Unfortunately for him, the saints had no watch over him. And one of them was waiting for him to gather his thoughts and answer her question. He had to do this without betraying the emotions that had been bubbling up inside him since he had first seen her at one of the Dreg's raids. He was lost the second he saw her and completely fated to love her after their first conversation.

But she couldn't know it.

She couldn't know that his heart was gone with her and that it took him ages to find himself after she disappeared. He promised himself to keep her away from him. To make sure he wouldn't fall for her beauty, mind, eyes, smile, and laugh like he had done as a child. But the second he saw her again, he knew that his heart was hers. Hers to keep, hold, break, play.

But she couldn't know it.... At least not now. Not when he had just snatched her from the Darkling's grasp.

Not when he wasn't ready to love her the way she should be loved.

"That's for me to evaluate and for you to make sure I won't regret this. Besides, I only invest in one-of-a-kind. I don't need more narcissistic saints to go into my office like it was their own." he said after a long silence, without taking his eyes off the window.

He was afraid that his eyes would betray the truth hidden in his stupid heart. He was grateful to all above that she wasn't a heartrender and couldn't feel his treacherous heart beating madly every time he looked at her. He just had to make sure Nina didn't reveal his little secret. He didn't know that the woman had been blackmailed into a similar case by the moon summoner.

"So I'm pretty lucky. I would die if I had to sleep on those inconvenient motel beds."

"Considering how much sleep you actually get, you're unlikely to notice a difference." you gasped, feigning indignation at the mischievous, amused tone of his voice.

"You're a cruel bastard, Kaz Brekker." he finally turned to you with a small smirk on his face. You giggled, only widening his smile.

"Go and check your ring. I hope you won't be threatened by any ugly faces."

"Yes, boss." you saluted, walking towards the door. You opened it and were about to leave when an idea popped into your head. You leaned against the door frame, looking at the man taking his place at the desk. "Kazzie?" you asked sweetly, biting your lip to keep from laughing too soon. The Bastard of the Barrel gave you a questioning look, fearing the familiar tone of your voice and the question coming. "As your fiancée, am I going to get half of your club?"

"Over my dead, cold body." he replied without a second of hesitation, perfectly prepared for such a provocation from your side.

"You know, you need to work on sharing if you plan to be husband material in the future. I feel sorry for your future spouse, unless it'll be your job."

"Go to sleep before I put you in bed myself."

"You should know better than to scare me with a good time, sweetheart!" you shouted back, leaving and pushing your way through the crowd of a few shocked Dregs who had probably heard the part about the fiancée and whom Kaz called to his office as soon as he saw them.

And as soon as he is done with them, Kaz will rip your legs out of your pretty ass. Even Alina and Nina will not be able to help you.

~•♤♤♤•~

The ring worked great. From that night on, you slept like a baby every day. The Darkling's face appeared only occasionally in your nightmares (both bloody ones and… more pleasant ones). But it wasn't REALLY him. Just a messed-up version of your sick imagination.

In the meantime, you trained with Alina and Nina (the woman needed the presence of other Grishas in Brekker's gang; besides, she was an amazing friend, and she also made wonderful waffles); you developed your powers; and you two gossiped with Genya, as she changed your looks every week so that no one would accidentally recognize you (by the way, you learned that David was heading this way to reunite with the love of his life).

You became close to Jes (you had the honor of being trained with HIS PISTOLS) and Inej, whose comforting company was invaluable (as well as the rooftop stealth lessons. Kaz cursed her after the first time you scared him by climbing through his office window and giving you a barrier. Of course you had your mind, and you didn't listen to him. Your unexpected visits to his office only became more frequent.)

So you could say that everything was on its way back to normality.

But it wasn't. Because one fine day, when the crows, Kaz, you, Alina, and Genya were eating breakfast at his club, someone showed up at your door.

Someone you didn't want to see more than the Darkling himself.

"What the fuck is she doing here, if I may culturally ask?" Alina gave you an apologetic look as Baghra walked casually into the crows' kitchen like she belonged here. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kaz taking any sharp metal objects from the table that you might have used to attack the woman.

You and Baghra had a rough relationship. Due to the fact that you and Aleksander were something, the woman did not look at you very favorably. You had no intention of fawning over a woman who wanted to kill her own son, either. Maybe your feelings for the Darkling were... unclear, but you wouldn't wish anyone, not even your worst enemy, a mother who was willing to stand against her own child, to spurn him instead of doing... anything to help him out of his darkness. It was not in line with your moral views. But no one here seemed to care since they invited the mother of Satan to your table.

"It's nice to see you too, Y/N."

"I don't even have enough respect for you to lie to you and admit that seeing you didn't ruin my day. I will ask one last time..." you got up from the table, shielding Kaz and the crows as you summoned your power. "What are you doing here?"

"My son is looking for you all over the world, do you think I won't try to get to you first before he does?"

"Oh, you've already shown how much you care about outdoing Kirigan in reaching us. I'm asking you, what do you want from us?"

"I came here for you. Because of you, child." you stiffened slightly, wondering what else the old woman had to say. But you would die before admitting that Baghra's help would be invaluable to your little band of rebels. Your pride was both your greatest strength and weakness.

"Well, excuse me, but I have more important things to do than listen to some old lady's ravings. I haven't finished my breakfast yet, and I'm far too sober for another conversation about how everyone wants to use me as a weapon."

"Every day I'm less surprised by how you ended up with my son. You two are a perfect match for each other." she snapped, annoyed at your indifferent attitude.

"I'd suggest you get to the point. You were the one who wanted to meet with us. As our moon summoner mentioned, we don't have to listen to you. And trust me, I have absolutely no intention of stopping her when she wants to kick you out of my club." Kaz stood next to you, measuring the woman with a watchful gaze.

You were proud that he believed in your and Alina's powers and wasn't afraid to provoke the shadow summoner in your presence. You cast a fleeting glance at him, watching as Baghra gave him an appraising look.

"Mr. Breaker. It would be better for you and your club if work with the summoners of the sun and moon ended in Ravka. You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

"I never make ill-considered decisions, and certainly not out of fear." he replied with his poker, business face.

"This is only a trait of the greatest winners or greatest losers."

"You don't have to worry about him. Mr. Brekker is always on the winning team." you answered for him, having had enough of this woman. Unfortunately, it looked like she wouldn't be leaving you so soon.

"Turn that light out, girl, before the Grishas swarm here. I won't hurt your boyfriend and his friends." you frowned as you heard Jes coughing in the background, trying not to laugh. With a wave of your hand, the white light around you vanished. You watched in displeasure as a smirk began to form on Baghra's lips.

"He is/I am not my/her boyfriend." together with Kaz, you both uttered these words as Baghra pushed past you. This caused you to turn to one another and exchange equally awkward, perplexed looks.

"Whatever, just get your lovebird butts over here." she murmured as she unfolded the map on the table and took a few items out of her bag. You snorted at seeing a small wooden statue of Aleksander.

It was going to be a long and tiring morning.

~•♤♤♤•~

"We have to hurry before your boy gets here. Good thing he is walking with the cane, at least it keeps him from sneaking up on us." Baghra growled at you. She'd only been here a week, and she'd already ruled everyone. You were no longer surprised at where Aleksander inherited his incredible self-confidence and arrogance.

"For the love of God, I'm telling you for the last time, KAZ IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND. Besides, if I were you, I wouldn't underestimate him. You could actually learn from him. You'll need a cane soon, too."

"Can you two just stop arguing for once and focus on the task at hand?" the sun summoner lingered, following you to the basement of the Crow Club.

"I'm sorry, Alina, that I'd rather banter with that witch than figure out how to seduce her son, lull his guard down, pluck the antlers of a wonderful steg out of his hand, and break the link between us once and for all."

"Start by undoing a few buttons on your blouse and letting your hair down; that should be enough for him to lose his mind." she advised you, making you and Alina shudder, both equally abashed.

"Seriously?" you asked mockingly, giving her a disgusted look. Nevertheless, you followed the woman's suggestion. "What is the next step? Shall I wear some nice underwear?"

"Not necessarily, but it would be nice to take off that ring. I doubt Aleksander would appreciate that someone other than himself gave you such gaudy jewelry." you snorted, taking off the only thing keeping the Darkling from crossing the walls of your mind.

You bypassed Baghra's outstretched hand and handed the ring to Alina. The older woman snorted indignantly at what you stuck your tongue out at. She didn't expect you to trust her with anything, even something as small as Kaz's ring, right?

"Done. What's next?"

"You need to make a connection. Every time he thinks of you or you think of him, you seek each other out and make a link. Imagine his face, voice, and silhouette; recall some memory associated with him; do anything to have him in front of your eyes. It should work and take you to where he is now. Just like when you two were getting into each other's dreams before Mr. Brekker gave you this ring."

"I did not seek him of my own free will. It just happened." you defended yourself, not wanting anyone to think you were looking for the Darkling like a lost puppy.

"You know him. He will continue to invade your thoughts and your life to convince you of the error of your ways and choices. This ring can work now, but what happens when you two get stronger in the future? It will stop working. You will be condemned to endure his pervasive presence. In the morning, afternoon, nights, and midnights. He won't let you go. Never. You cannot extract the stag from your own body. So you must find a way to block him permanently. Not by some magic ring."

You sighed, realizing she was right. You will be free of him only when any bond between you is gone. The only thing you were afraid of was that it existed between you and the Darkling long before you killed the stag...

Darkness and its light. Moon and shadow. Destined to be together. United at the end of the day.

"And what if I fail and he chokes me, stabs me, or just uses the cut on me?"

"We will observe the energy around you. If we see too many shadows or your light, we'll pull you out."

"All right. Let's get this over with." you sat down, leaning against the wall of the Crow Club basement, praying to all of Inej's mighty saints that your plan would work.

You closed your eyes, remembering the moment before your big performance at the winter fete.

You had to pretend that you didn't know Kaz, and then you had no idea what he was doing here wearing one of the soldiers uniforms. He promised to explain everything to you, but then Aleksander came.

"I'll take her from here." he said to Kaz, letting him know that he was no longer needed.

But he has not left you. Aleksander ignored him, examining your kefta carefully. It was beautiful. Genya decorated it with silver threads and embroidered stars and moons in different phases. However, the fact that probably delighted him the most was its black (but actually dark navy blue) color. But he didn't care about the true color of your kefta as long as it looked black to any other observer.

A clear signal that you were his moon.

"I have something for you." he whispered as he leaned closer to you so that your noses were practically touching. He pulled something shiny out of his sleeve. He held the silver chain up to your eye level so you could see the pendant. Moon with a star. You shifted your gaze from the shiny object to those mesmerizing black eyes staring at you in pure adoration. "I know you're practically festooned with these symbols, but I wanted you to know..." he interrupted, brushing your hair over one shoulder so he could place the necklace over your neck. He planted a quick, tender kiss on your nape as he clicked the silver jewelry. "That you're not just a Saint Y/N, summoner of the moon. You're mine moonlight in the worst darkness of mine. My hope and peace. The only light I let through my shadows."

You grabbed the pendant, noticing your initials carved into the back of the moon.

"It's beautiful." you turned in his arms to whisper in his ear, making him shiver as you kissed his earlobe. "Aleksander..."

~•♤♤♤•~

You opened your eyes.

A dim light illuminated Kirigan's war room.

You did it. Now all you had to do was seduce him. Piece of cake.

You let yourself watch him flick through some papers, wrinkling his nose and occasionally running a hand through his hair. The exact same one with the stag antler still stuck in it. You shook your head, remembering your task. You had to outsmart him. And in such a wise way that it didn't cross his mind that you might have bad intentions towards him.

"Aleksander." you whispered as you stepped out of the shadows. The man either really didn't notice you or he was a brilliant actor, judging by the pure shock that painted his face the moment he turned to meet your gaze. "You seem surprised to see me."

"I am." his mask of indifference and self-confidence quickly fell back into place. "But perhaps I shouldn't be. I should have known you'd prove to be an apt pupil. Not many can learn that trick." he placed the papers on the desk and leaned against it. "But after our last meeting, I had the impression that you didn't want to see me again. What changed your mind to seek me out?"

"I hate to say this, but I realized you were right."

"How so?" he began to watch you with interest, too curious to know what you were going to say to repay you for stabbing him last time. The fact that he didn't pounce on you with his shadows the moment he saw you gave you an odd sense of confidence. Maybe you could have made it.

"I was meant for more. And you were the first person to see me as I truly am. First to help me realize what I'm meant for. First to tech me how to use my power and how to see it as something more incredible than terrifying. First to see, I was more than a scared little girl. That I was powerful Grisha and I can do anything I want." with every word you said and every step you took towards him, you could see his mask crack open, revealing his true emotions. However, there was still a shadow of uncertainty and suspicion in his eyes. You had to remove it if you wanted to win this battle.

"Was I? And what about Alina? Or your helpful friends that take you away from Little Palace?" you hoped you didn't show that his words affected you. You were afraid that somehow he might have discovered a little help from Kaz and his crows.

"They… they don't understand the power growing within me. I thought that Alina might share my feelings, but … it seems to me that we understand our possibilities completely differently when it comes to our powers. And my friends… I think they're more afraid of what I can do than admire it as… as you did."

"That's not their fault. I did try to warn you. Tried to explain that with so much power that flows in our veins, usually comes fear from the side of our loved ones."

"I know. I think I'm starting to finally understand that now." you took one slow step towards him, feeling his watchful gaze on you. "There are no others like us, and they never will be. We are connected by our powers. Alina can live without us, but you and me… you and me are destined to work together and to stand by our sides. There is no darkness without light, but it's the moon that brings it into the night and that lives among the shadows, working with them… Like calls to like, right, Aleksander?"

In his eyes, you could see how much he wanted to believe you, how much he wanted the words you said to be true... but you knew that Aleksander lived too long to believe only empty words. He needed conclusive proof that you were on his side and that you were only his moon. And you had to convince him somehow.

"As I delighted as I am that you found your way to me, what do you want?"

"That thing that binds us. I think you fear it more than you actually care to admit."

"I fear everything there is to fear; it makes me strong. I understand things about power that you've had years yet to learn, moonlight."

"Well, as you said, with a good teacher, I'm a very apt pupil. But I think we both know… that it's not all about power, though, is it?" you walked the distance between you two and stood chest-to-chest with him. "What about the other bond we share? That one I was avoiding for too long." you slowly cup his cheek, making him close his eyes at the touch of your soft skin. You tenderly stroked one of his black scars on his cheek, which made the Black Heretic sighe in relief. "I want you, Aleksander." he opened his eyes, looking at you in disbelief when he tried to seek any sight of lies on your face. "And being in your presence terrifies me as much as making me feel… like I finally belonged somewhere. Like I was made by saints to be next to you. It felt... right in some crazy way."

"Love is for madmen, Y/N. And I've already told you…" you shivered as his cold fingertips touched the hot skin of your neck. His fingers went to the silver necklace—your only sin against your friends. He took the pendant in his hands and kissed it, not taking his eyes off yours. "You're my moonlight. Nothing has changed, and I doubt it ever will... for both of us."

You pulled him by the hair to connect your lips in a long-awaited kiss, too annoyed with how long you had to work him out. (Or too scared that his words are true.) You moaned as he bit your lips, and in one sweeping motion, he scooped you up off the floor and sat you on his desk.

He pulled away from you, dropping his kefta on the floor, and went back to kissing you as if you were the only one that mattered in this world. But the next amplifier's whereabouts map you laid on as he kissed your soul out of you was a glaring reminder that you could never have truly had him.

You would never be his first choice.

"Forgive me for stabbing you, then." you whispered into his mouth as you broke apart for a moment to catch your breath. He pressed into you more fervently than before, caressing your waist tenderly.

"I will have kissed these tempting, sweet lips, even if it means I'll get stabbed by you, every time I do it."

That was good to know, you thought, throwing your arms around his shoulders and slowly pulling out the dagger from your sleeve as he continued to kiss you greedily, like he wanted to sate himself with you while he still had you in his arms.

"Your words, not mine." you murmured, catching his mouth with yours while driving the dagger into his hand. He snarled, breaking away from you and trying in vain to yank the metal out of your hand. You tried to pry the last stag's bone out of him.

But suddenly, just as you were about to do it, you find yourself back in the basement of the Crows Club.

You were breathing fast, frantically looking around the room. Kaz was kneeling a step away from you and watching you worriedly as you tried to calm down.

From the cane that was on your leg and his firm grip on your arm, you figured out pretty quickly why you suddenly came back. You yanked your arm from his hand in your anger, forgetting his phobia of touch and how much of an achievement it was for him to hold your arm.

"What the hell, Brekker?! I had him! I could end this right there! UGH! Why did you let him break our connection?!" you screamed in frustration, looking resentfully at Alina and Baghra.

"You nearly blew yourself out with your power, and they couldn't bring you back."

"I had it under control, Kaz!"

"Oh, really?" he asked mockingly, struggling to his feet with the help of his cane and walking over to you with equal anger painted in his eyes. "Because it didn't look good from my point of view. You could have blown up the whole club..."

"Of course you would only care about your stupid, fucking club! Forgive me, Dirtyhands. Next time I'm going to save the damn world from the Darkling, I'll pick up a place other than one of your fucking bases!" you yelled at him, pushing past a shocked Alina and Baghra.

"Y/N, come back here!" he shouted after you. The distinctive sound of his cane told you he was following you.

"I'm not your fucking property, Brekker! I can go anywhere I want!" you screamed, running as fast and far for him as you could, thanking everyone above that Brekker wasn't able to catch up with you. You needed a moment to yourself. And you only knew one place in all of Ketterdam where you could be truly alone.

~•♤♤♤•~

For a long time, you hated harbour. It was a reminder of your weakness—a reminder of a girl who got kidnapped by slave hunters. Then you met Aleksander and became one of the strongest Grisha. From then harbour was for you to remind you of the birth of Saint Y/N. Moon summoner. It was funny for you to see how easy it is to get on the ship and go anywhere you want. Be anyone you want. But you don't have this choice anymore. Not until your past stops chasing you whenever you close your eyes.

"I knew you'd be here." Kaz's voice below you made you shiver, but you didn't grace him with your gaze. "You'd be too merciful to me by choosing an easily accessible spot, wouldn't you?" he grumbled as he clambered next to you on the crates of goods. He sighed as he managed to climb up. He tossed his cane, catching it spectacularly and resting it against the crate beneath you. He leaned forward, staring out at the harbour with you, when the wind blew his hair, messing up his always perfectly styled hairdo.

"Nobody made you follow me around, Kazzle." you murmured, casting a fleeting glance at him, grinning mischievously at how tired he was of climbing crates. Someone here was in bad shape. Brekker must sit with these plans and papers for too long.

"I did." you turned your head to meet his piercing gaze. "I already told you. I take care of my investments."

"Maybe you're making a mistake."

"I'm never mistaken. I know when and how much to invest in something valuable."

"But what if I'm a lost cause? What if you're wrong this time? Why do you think I'm done with the Darkling? Me and him have so much in common... what if I become like him? Are you not afraid? That one day, in my naiveté, I'd decide Kirigan was worth a second chance and betray you? That one day I'll stop controlling my power and that I'll hurt you? How can you sit here so calmly and..."

"Because I know you better than myself. I may not believe in saints, but I believe in you, Y/N. I will always believe in you."

You swallowed, looking down in embarrassment. You didn't deserve this.

"I get caught up in it sometimes. That I return with memories to the Little Palace. I wonder what I could have done differently to prevent all this. How could I reason with him, what could I do to dissuade him from his plans. How to behave, what to say out loud, and what to keep to yourself. And I'm furious with Baghra that, being his mother, she didn't fight for him to the end; she gave up before we could do ANYTHING for him together. And I curse myself every time I feel guilty, knowing that I left him utterly alone. So tell me, Kaz, knowing now all these doubts growing within me, do you still believe in me?"

The killing silence told you everything you wanted to know.

"Come on. Go right ahead, Kazzie. Call me a fool, an idiot who wants to believe that everyone deserves someone close, someone they can trust. Who stupidly believes in giving people a second chance." you said, afraid to look up to see the revulsion in the eyes of the only person you could always count on.

Kaz said your name, but you ignored him completely, feeling tears slowly welling up in your eyes. Suddenly you felt the cold steel crow's head of his cane under your chin. Brekker forced you to look into his eyes. And you thanked all the saints for the tenderness that was still present in them.

"You know, I don't think that about you. You are a Grisha. The moon summoner. The only beacon of hope in the darkness. I think that in your job description lies faith even in the most deprived, lost, and broken souls."

"I didn't know that poetic side of you, Brekker."

"I've changed since the last time you saw me."

"Really?" you asked, nodding at his gloves and cane. He caught your eye, gripping the crow's head tighter. "Hey. You have every right to do that, Kaz, okay? I was kidding, and I didn't know it was still a sensitive subject. I'm sorry. Apart from that, I can name more. For example, you still have a stick in your ass when it comes to pranks. It was too easy to get on your nerves with Jes." you said, trying to make a joke to lighten the atmosphere.

"Looking now at you, it's better for humanity that you haven't become a saint. Saints, protect some wretch who would have asked you for help." you smiled at him, glad he understood your intentions.

"Now, I feel hurt, Kazzie. Wouldn't you pray to me if they hung my holy image up here somewhere?" you asked, offended, putting your hand over your heart.

He knew he would spend hours, days, and weeks praying to her, only to see her face again and hear the voice of the Saint of his heart...

"No. No saint has ever watched over me. It wouldn't make sense to pray to you either. Especially since I knew you personally before you became a mighty Grisha."

"Well, I'm no saint yet, but since I'm your newest investment, I guess that means I'm supposed to serve you in some way. And since I'm not going to be your errand dog or spy crow, I guess a good compromise would be if I became your bodyguard. Then you can't say that there's no saint watching over you."

"I don't need a guardian angel."

"It's good then that I'm far from being an angel." you stared at each other, the wind blowing your hair, as you enjoyed the understanding between you and the unspoken acknowledgment of your closeness.

Kaz Brekker could not have a weakness. This city would use it against him very quickly. But he felt that perhaps his weakness could be powerful enough to be his greatest asset instead of his darkest burden. Maybe he didn't have to worry about her that much.

"Ketterdam was boring without you. It was also harder to work without your… skills." he said uncertainly, averting his gaze from your piercing, mesmerizing eyes.

"Is that your way to tell me you missed me?" you were teasing him and pushing his cane. He almost fell over when you broke his only support. You almost couldn't prevent yourself from laughing.

"We could have gained much more kruge if you had been here."

"I didn't want to leave." you whispered, involuntarily remembering the day they kidnapped you.

"I know." he leaned towards you, forcing you to look into his eyes. "You don't have to worry about them. I made sure they were six feet deep underground before you even set foot in Ketterdam." your heart warmed at the thought that he was chasing them for you.

He made sure you were 100% safe and comfortable before he brought you back home. Home. You didn't think you'd find him among the crows, thieves, and the Dreg Club. You didn't think you'd feel this way about him—one of the men whose lifestyle was far from normal and safe.

"You're getting soft in your old age, Brekker." you replied with a half smile, holding back unwanted tears. You weren't that weak girl anymore. You were Grisha. And thanks to the man sitting next to you, you were (almost) free. You grabbed his cane, right next to the crow's head, where Kaz's hands were. His gaze flicked to where your hands were so close together. He turned his head to meet your watery eyes. "Thank you, Kaz. For everything. It means a lot to me. Even if it was foolish to break into the Darkling's palace and kidnap us like sacks of potatoes."

"It was the perfect plan! Nobody noticed us." he was indignant, immediately defending his action.

"Yeah, but what I and Alina get hit with every time Jesper and you steer that wooden cart over rocks is ours. You could really choose a path that wasn't made of stones."

"Next time, it's up to you to make a plan to escape the 500-year-old shadow summoner. We'll see how you do." he snorted, offended, but didn't move an inch. Contrary. His hand moved closer to yours, wrapping precariously around yours on his cane.

"Less than a week back in Ketterdam, and you're already letting me into your plans? Aww, I love you too, Kazzie."

He would give all the kruge of this world to hear those words from you for the rest of his life... and it surprised him that he wasn't afraid to admit it to himself at all.

"And I almost forgot how annoying you can be."

"Don't worry. I have all the time in the world to shrink your inflated ego and remind you of that, boss." Kaz held his breath. He stared at you searchingly, trying to find in your face the answer to whatever question he was asking in his head. You unknowingly scooted closer to each other so that your shoulders rested against each other.

You were much closer to each other before. Kaz (on his good days) even felt comfortable hugging you for a while. After years apart, you thought it would take ages for him to get used to your presence again and the brief touch without going underwater with Jordi.

But you were here. Holding hands, leaning against each other, and staring into each other's eyes.

You shivered as you felt his breath against your cheek when he leaned a little closer to you, testing his border.

"You're shining." he whispered softly, hypnotized, afraid to break the silence between you.

"What?"

"Your eyes are shining." his trembling hand took your cheek as you were watching him speechless. Even in your wildest dreams, you wouldn't suppose he would hold you like that. He truly changed. He beat Pekka, and now the King of Ketterdam was fighting with his demons. You were so proud of him and also sad that you weren't with him at the beginning of his road to healing. "And the light is coming out of your skin. You're shining like a star for lost souls."

"You're not lost... not anymore." you whispered, your voice trembling, fully understanding what he had left unsaid.

"I was. But now the moonlight is lighting up Ketterdam's darkness again."

"Kaz... I..." you held your breath, staring at him in anticipation. You didn't know what for. All you knew was that taking your eyes off him for even a second was an unforgivable crime.

Your noses were almost touching, your lips were the closest you've known each other. And Kaz was as calm as if he'd never had a haphephobia. As if the situation with Jordi never happened. You were afraid his waters would finally rise, interrupting your moment, but as soon as your foreheads touched, all the logical thoughts in your head went to hell. It was just you and him.

And you would still enjoy that closeness if the sound of breaking glass and Jesper's curses hadn't driven you apart.

"Here you are! How the hell did you get in there?! Get down! We're leaving in half an hour!" Jesper shouted to you from below and disappeared as quickly as he appeared. You cleared your throat, realized what Jes said after a long moment.

"We are leaving?" you asked, surprised. Bastard didn't say a word about going anywhere.

"Yes. I'll explain everything to you on the ship." he gave you a brush-off as he began his downward journey.

"On the ship? Kaz, what have you planned?!" you shouted angry as you followed him.

~•♤♤♤•~

"This is the dumbest plan ever made, and believe me, I've been to more than one of his idiotic ideas." you said, pointing at the offended Kaz.

Your great friends (and Baghra) have decided to sneak into the Darkling's palace, steal his maps and war plans, and set the Little Palace on fire.

You started to doubt their good sanity... or sobriety.

"Sooner or later, we have to sneak in there. Aleksander has stolen from me all the books and records of our ancestors; he is in possession of immense power, and we can not allow him to make use of it." you clenched your fists, almost ready to pounce on the woman for revealing the Darkling's true name.

"Who is Aleksander?" you ignored Kaz's question, nervously twirling the ring he gave you on your finger.

"Was he able to steal something from YOU? And you let him do it? How surprised I am."

"What are you implying?"

"I implying that we are in some huge coach driven by your men, leaving Ketterdam on your initiative and entering the lion's mouth because you said so. In my place, you'd be suspicious too."

"The odds of me betraying you are as high as the odds that you will."

"And why is that?" you hissed, furious at how easily she got on your nerves.

"Aleksander has a knack for manipulating people. A few sweet words, and even your boyfriend won't be able to count on your devotion anymore."

"Watch your mouth. I'm not her boyfriend." Kaz growled, tensing up next to you, thereby stopping your quarrel. Baghra shrugged, continuing her quiet conversation with Alina. In your mind, you were planning the old lady's slow death until someone's hand grabbed yours in a strong grip.

You turned your head towards Kaz. He stared blankly out the window, completely ignoring your gaze. Instead, he started drawing circles on your palm, trying to calm you down somehow. You turned your head in the opposite direction, smiling to yourself at the tender gesture. Unbeknownst to you, Kaz had the same smirk as yours on his face.

The rest of the trip to the city was uneventful. As planned, Alina and you stayed in Baghra's secret stash while the rest went off to play heroes. Your job was to distract the Darkling, and Alina was supposed to watch over you.

You'd agree to their plan if your role wasn't just to stand by while others risked their lives trying to get the information you all needed.

But you decided not to argue with the others about it this time. After all, they couldn't control you once you got into the palace. You might as well have snooped around, looked for what you needed, and done most of the work for them. Closing your eyes and getting ready to connect with the Darkling, you only hoped that your little disobedience would go unnoticed.

~•♤♤♤•~

You just finished searching Kirigan's study, war room, and bedroom. You were on your way to the last room - the library, when you bumped into the one person you wanted to avoid.

You were paralysed as soon as you saw him walking down the hall. You hoped he wouldn't look in your direction, but the general (alert as always) glanced at you briefly before disappearing from your view. You had the faintest hope that he would think you were a vision, but all of it vanished when you felt a hand gently wrap around your neck and pin you against the wall.

"You either have too much free time or you enjoy haunting me at random times, little moon." you didn't answer, too scared that the moment he touched you, all your power took on a life of its own, merging with his shadows, as it usually does when your skins meet for the first time after a long separation. You were defenceless. Kirigan frowned, watching you with growing interest. "Speechless? Not any irritating responses? Do you fear me, Y/N?" his taunts brought you to your senses, forcing you to calm down immediately. You couldn't wait for Alina to be rescued. You had to fight him yourself.

"That's what you want, isn't it? To have everyone and everything under control, too scared to say or do anything against you."

"Fear is a powerful ally and also loyal."

"Not as loyal and lasting as love, trust, respect." you tried to break free from his grip, but all attempts to remove his hand from your neck proved futile. You were lucky that instead of tightening the grip and cutting off your air, he just wrapped his other arm around your waist, pulling you closer so that your faces were mere millimetres apart. "We could have had it, Aleksander. All of it. All you had to do was set me free and make me your equal."

"You'll come to feel it towards me someday. For now… even though I truly want to, I have no time for you, moonlight. Your friends are waiting for me. But don't get the wrong impression…" he leaned towards you, stroking your cheek tenderly as he whispered in your ear. "I will be back for you, my Y/N. Wherever you are hiding from me."

You shivered as he kissed your temple, making this terrifying promise to you. At some point, his shadows enveloped you completely and sent you back to the room where you and Alina were hiding.

And after one look at the sun summoner, you both knew what you had to do.

~•♤♤♤•~

You couldn't remember the last time you ran so fast in your entire life. It must have been back in your Ketterdam days, doing some little errands for the Dregs.

But this time, you weren't running to save your life. You ran to save Kaz Brekker's ass, who was the only one (not counting Inej, who was already hidden somewhere with Alina, waiting for you in harbour) who didn't return from his mission. As you expected, everything went to hell without you, and if you and Alina hadn't arrived, half of the crows (including Baghra) would have been captured by Aleksander's grishas. You wouldn't feel sorry for the old woman, but Alina insisted on saving her.

Jes, Wylan, Nina and Baghra searched other parts of the Little Palace, trying to burn everything in their path. You could still make it. If only Brekker hadn't gotten lost in the meantime. You knew you should go with him. You've always been a team player, and pairing you with Alina for this mission and leaving you behind was their worst idea.

You promised yourself that the next time you'd strap that risky idiot to your hip.

That's why you breathed a sigh of relief when you saw him at the end of the corridor. But instead of running up to him and yelling at him for his thoughtlessness, you hid in the shadows as he backed away slowly. Someone had to catch him. You caught his eye for a moment, glad he noticed you and started to head your way. Thanks to this, you could assassinate his attacker and try to escape from the palace.

Piece of cake. If he wasn't talking to a fucking Darkling.

"I know you kidnapped my moon summoner. Now you're going to tell me where you stashed her." you cursed internally, feeling yourself start to panic. You guys were officially screwed.

"We didn't take her. She fled on her own." you marvelled at how Kaz could still keep his composure with an angry Darkling a few feet in front of him. Sometimes you forget how mentally strong he was.

"I don't doubt in it… where is she? I won't ask you again."

"I don't know. I don't own her… but it's pretty clear she wasn't interested in being a captive anymore."

Aleksander got even angrier at the little insinuation that Kaz took better care of you, that he didn't treat you like an asset, unlike the general. You cursed Dirtyhands for wanting to mock and taunt the Darkling, even though you could see that he wasn't so confident around him.

"I heard about you. And your crows. It would be a shame if something happened to such a talented group." the Darkling summoned some of his shadows, causing Kaz to back away and reach for the light grenade that you and Wylan had prepared. "It's good for you that you have the decency to show signs of fear."

"I'm afraid of what I must."

"And yet you are not so defenceless." Kaz raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Don't make a fool of yourself, Mr. Brekker. I can feel my moon's power everywhere. Especially when it's imbedded so much into one small object."

You tensed, remembering that you had given Kaz the necklace before he left for the Little Palace. A necklace whose pendant you poured so much moonlight into that no shadows could surround him while wearing it or only holding it.

Defence against the Darkling. Specially prepared for situations like this. However, handing it to him, you hoped the two would never meet, growling at each other like two rabid dogs.

"Y/N must have strong feelings for you to give you some of her power. And you for her. Putting your people and yourself at risk, your profit, your club. In the name of what, Mr. Brekker?"

"If you did thorough research on me, you'd know that all of Ketterdam knows I don't need a reason to do things."

"You'll never fully appreciate what she really is. But that's alright. Because I do." Aleksander let Dirtyhands' insult pass over his ears, trying to annoy him that much, so he let his guard down. You knew very well that method, just like you knew that Kaz wasn't foolish to fall for it.

"You've right. I'll never use her as a weapon or treat her like a saint. That's not what she wants. You may understand her powers, but you have no idea who she really is. What's in her mind. What are her dreams and desires. All you care about is her power, which I don't give a damn if she has or not. You see her only as a moon summoner. Not Y/N. You don't know the woman she was before Grisha's thing. You will never know how amazing and indescribable she was before Ravka. This is part of her that only I was allowed to see. You can't change the fact that I know her better than you."

"You're forgetting one important fact. You are a child, and she is Grisha. Y/N may take years to forgive me… but I can wait. Take away my shadows, and I still have something you don't. Time. Meanwhile, you will grow old. Your hair will grey, but she will remain ageless. Like me. Not mention your little inconvenience. Do you think you'll be able to touch her for more than a few minutes before your body grows old? That you'll be able to give her the life she deserves? We both know that one day, maybe a year from now, maybe fifty, she will realise that she has only one equal. There are no others like us, and there never will be. Even you can't change that, Mr. Brekker." he gave him a hostile look, laughing mockingly as he noticed that Kaz continued to back up with each step the Darkling took towards him until he did not stand in front of your hiding place. "Don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. Time will do it for me." he summoned more of his shadows, wanting to scare him with his power. You three knew very well that with your necklace around his neck, no cut would kill him."You should have stayed in Ketterdam, Mr. Brekker."

At this point, you both decided to step in. Kaz threw his grenade, and you summoned your power, blinding the two of them. You grabbed Kaz's arm, and you both ran (as fast as his leg would allow). You stopped only a few corridors and stairs further, at the crossroads where you were all supposed to meet. Along the way, you avoided several fires that the tidemakers were busy with.

"What are you doing here?!" he growled furiously at you as you finally stopped, only making you more angry at his recklessness and attitude. He attacked and insulted the most powerful grisha. An 18-year-old with a cane and no powers.

"What am I doing here?! You tell me, what are you doing! You made him mad for no reason! You think now that he knows your identities, he'll let you go so easily? He will hunt you as long as he lives, just like me and Alina! Congratulations, Brekker!"

"I knew the risk." he replied angrily, looking around all four corridors.

"No, you didn't. You'd know a flimsy toy like that one, fucking grenade wouldn't be enough for him with all the amplifiers he's got."

"Well, I guess your little gift was strong enough to protect me. Which brings me to the question… why am I the only one blessed with this power from you?" he asked as he walked over to you, standing a few inches in front of you. You were both panting with quick anger, rage, and adrenaline, which was slowly draining from your systems.

"It's not your business, Brekker." you growled into his face and took a step, trying to avoid him, but his firm grip on your elbow stopped you.

You turned to face him, ready to yank your arm out of his grip and scream at him to fuck off, but all thoughts flew out of your head as soon as you looked into his mesmerising eyes, which were looking at you with concern and… love.

"It is my business." he leaned closer to you, just enough for you to feel his warmth and his scent, and far enough away not to touch you any more than he already did. "You... you're my most important business. And if something happens to you, if he catches you again..." he sighed, shaking his head, trying to find the right words as he licked his annoyed lips, unconsciously drawing your gaze to them and making you hold your breath for a moment, wanting something as forbidden and holy as kissing them. "I don't know how to... express my feelings. I don't know if I even understand them well enough. All I know is that I would rather die than see you enslaved and sorrowful... and it pains me to know that I'm too weak to protect you. That I'll always be too weak FOR YOU."

"You are literally everything but weak. In my eyes, you're the strongest person I know, Kaz. One of the very few to whom I would entrust my life in the blink of an eye."

"And yet I'm not enough for Grisha's love."

"How could you not be enough for something you already have?" Kaz's head snapped up as he watched you, befuddled in complete silence. You hesitantly reached for his hand, giving him enough time to pull away. He did not do. "And because I love you, I cannot be selfish with you. I cannot risk your life just because I have loved you since we were stupid teenagers." he squeezed your hand, too overwhelmed by his emotions to say anything. Fortunately, you understood him without any words.

Slowly, as if time had slowed down just for you two, he leaned towards you, resting his forehead against yours. You stood like that for a moment, enjoying the other's presence, forgetting that the palace was burning around you and probably 100 Grishas were chasing you.

"I will have you, Kaz Brekker. But only when it's safe for both of us." you promised him, whispering with your eyes still closed. "And for that to happen, I have to stay here. I have to make sure he doesn't go after you, that he will be distracted by me instead of planning your death.." you were about to extricate yourself from his grip, but the man only pulled you closer to him, not wanting to let you go.

"Please, don't. Stay with me. You're not a saint or a hero. You said it yourself. More than I could count."

"Kaz…" you took the ring off and put it on his little finger. "Keep it for me until I'm back. As a promise that whatever is going to happen next… I will be back for you." testing your luck, you placed a quick, tender kiss on his finger, feeling him tremble under your lips.

Before you got a chance to change your mind, you ran in the opposite direction, following the voice of the fighting Grishas.

You didn't turn around. You didn't steal a second glance at him, even though you knew he was watching you until you were out of sight. You knew the moment you looked into his eyes again, you'd change your mind.

You had to be strong.

For both of you. For your common future.

~•♤♤♤•~

When you regained consciousness, you weren't surprised that your hands had been handcuffed, so you couldn't use your powers. You were surprised to be greeted by the familiar sheets of Aleksander's comfortable bed.

And the Darkling himself was lying right next to you with his face towards you.

His eyes were closed, giving you a good look at the darker shadows under his eyes than before. Without knowing why, they disturbed you more than those lazily hovering around the bed. For a moment, you listened to his measured, calm breathing, which would probably confuse anyone else and give the illusory belief that the man next to you is sleeping. But you knew him much better than to fall for such a simple trick.

"I know how you breathe when you're sleeping, Aleksander."

"Maybe I was trying to fall asleep."

"Wearing a kefta? Doubtful." he opened one eye, staring at you silently. You felt your heart start beating faster from the nerves. You had no idea why you were here. Or at least you didn't want to admit it to yourself, so you decided to play the fool. "Are the dungeons undergoing some kind of refurbishment, or are they so full that you haven't found another place for me?"

He stared at you silently, deep in thought. He took his time to answer, playing with the strands of your hair that had escaped your bun from an earlier fight.

"It didn't seem like the right place for you" he finally whispered, making you even more suspicious.

"And where is my right place? After I stabbed you in the back so many times? In your bed? In your arms? As a weapon for your use? Where do you see me, Aleksander?"

"By my side. I've always seen you by my side." he answered at once, without a trace of hesitation in his voice. His shadow circled the room, caressing you from time to time. You didn't know if he was planning to let your guard down or if he had completely lost his mind.

"I don't understand. You should be mad at me. Why don't you hate me? Why are you still looking at me like... like you really have feelings for me? This is another one of your games, right? You want me to go completely crazy this time, don't you?"

"No, my little saint moon." he whispered, undaunted by your anger, gently cupping your chin so you had to look him in the eye. "All I ever wanted was someone equal to me. Why should I get mad at you when all you're doing is trying to find your way to me?"

"I don't…"

"Then why did you let them catch you? Don't try to lie to me, Y/N. I was there. I saw with my own eyes how you backed away from running away at the last moment. Why?"

"You know why." you whispered in a shaky voice. You closed your eyes, trying to protect yourself from the Black Heretic's penetrating gaze and show him the tears beginning to form in your eyes. "I have a million reasons why I should give you up, why I should hate you more than anyone else, but the truth is… my heart wants what it wants. And I don't think I can resist this anymore." you couldn't control your tears, but from the tender touch of his hand as he wiped them from your cheek and the clank of the handcuffs opening, you figured they were necessary for him to believe you.

"You have no idea how long…"

"No." you cut him off before he could say anything more." I have one question for you. Answer it right, and I'll forget about the last few months. Answer it right, and I promise you that you will never have to be alone again, that I'll always be by your side, along with your shadows and everything else that you truly are. That I will accept my destiny as being your moon. I won't let anyone scare me away from you ever again. I just… I need you to be completely honest with me. This one time." you cursed yourself at how weak your voice sounded when he grabbed your hand, kissing tenderly the places where the handcuffs were marked. "You don't have to tell me your whole plan; I just want to know… are all of these lies, battles, wars, deaths… just to keep the Grishas safe? You have no other intention behind this than to give our people home, where they don't have to be afraid of people who hate us and our powers?"

"I swear to you, my little moonstone, there is no other reason. I'm not a maniac drunk on power, as everybody tells you. I just want our people to be safe; I want to give them a world where we can explore the abilities of our power without fear of getting killed for being extraordinary. I can only do this with you by my side. As my equal. As a person who thinks like me and can keep up with my plans. As my partner. As the only one I can trust."

"Good." you nodded, cupping his cheek as you pulled him closer to you, so your lips caught each other again.

And maybe it was naive to think he bought your story about being completely devoted to him; maybe it was just another one of his games; maybe this time he really believed your words. Or maybe he was tired of pretending you didn't feel that strange attraction every time you were together.

You did not know. And you didn't want to know.

You gave into that burning desire every time you were near him, explaining to yourself that you had to earn his trust.

But there was much more to this one kiss than just lust.

It was a promise to you.

You will break his heart and make him hate you. You will drive him mad, drive him away, and then he will cast you out. Aleksander will come to think of you not as his lover but as his greatest enemy. Alina, Baghra and you gonna end the circle of unnecessary deaths.

And then you will finally be free...

Or at least... you will kill you both while trying to hate him as you should from the beginning.

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puppysirie0-0 · 1 year ago

Text

"Where'd You Go Bunny?"

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Lantsov!Reader

Warnings: Some HUGE angst with a little bitty pinch of fluff

Chapter 1 of "The Bunny and Its Shadow"

You weren't sure when you fell for Aleksander, and Aleksander didn't know when he fell for you. But you both knew you were completely, irrevocably, irreversibly in love with each other. Although the worst part was the secrecy. Stuck with longing gazes when seen in the day, and sneaking around each other's chambers whispering breathless sweet nothings in the dead of night.

Nonetheless your heart was his and while everyone saw this evil monster or scary general, you saw a scarred man with a damaged past. Even when Aleksander broke down one night, telling you everything, begging on his knees for you to not leave him. And while you were shocked, you knew you could never leave him, not now, not ever.

But your heart broke the moment your dad called you to his chambers one afternoon, and as you walked in to him conversing with his greasy advisors, you knew something was off. Your heart dropped as he's told you that you're to be married to some Fjerdan Prince. That he was going to be sending you away to Fjerda to prepare for the wedding.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º° ▩ ∾

You didn't even get the chance to tell Aleksander goodbye before your father had you stuffed in a carriage on the bumpy journey to Fjerda. The roads are covered in snow and the wheels of your carriage getting caught on unlevel dirt and stones. Your mind racing as you wondered what would happen to Aleksander and what would happen to you.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º° ▩ ∾

Aleksander was slightly caught off guard by your inability to visit his chambers the first night. Though he understood, maybe you just didn't feel like seeing him that night. But as the days ticked by he wondered if you had left him, like you promised you never would. Quickly reprimanding himself, trying to desperately escape his insecurities.

After a week and half, he broke. He spent the last 10 nights wondering where'd you'd gone, asking himself, "Was it me, did I drive her away?" Running himself up and down the wall, slowly going manic at the musings of what could've happened swam around rapidly. On the morning of the 10th day he asked Genya if she knew anything, knowing you spoke of your fondness towards her. She of course knew of the nature of the two of you and your relationship, so she was quick to tell him when he asked.

To say that Aleksander was shocked would have been an understatement. He was swept into a whirlwind of emotions as Genya explained. First his spirits quickly being lifted from knowing that you hadn't left him of your own volition, just for them to be dragged right back down to the knowledge of you being engaged so someone in Fjerda.

He was swiftly caught in a flurry of emotions, from severely depressed, to a dash of happy, to upset, to angry, and finally full on rage with intent of killing your father. But he knows homicide won't fix anything yet, and he has to come up with a plan and fast.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º° ▩ ∾

Your 2 weeks in Fjerda were the worst of your life. Not only had your whole life come crashing down, you had to try and conform to Fjerdan marriage customs. Which were drastically different from Ravkan traditions, as you addressed in your letters to your father. (Which he was either ignoring or not receiving.) You had yet to have met your fiance and you were meant to be "quiet".

But you of course didn't fit any of these ideals, you were an outspoken, confident woman who would at least like to meet the man she's meant to marry. Though because of your personality you were' obviously punished, in ways that you would rather forget but are forced to live with. But you received gifts like a comb and bracelet from your fiancé, which while well-intended were much unwanted.

But one night, a scream ripped through the silent halls in the dead of night. You quickly shot awake, quick to hide in the corner of the room, because while you were confident and Aleks had shown you some maneuvers to defend yourself, you were scared at that moment. But then you heard a familiar voice, calling out for you down the halls. You inched closer to the door as you heard footsteps approach. You watch as your door flings open and you see the exact person you had missed the past few months, your lover, your devil, your Aleksander.

He quickly pulls you into his arms as soon as he sees you. Both of you feeling tears welling up in your respective eyes. You hear him telling you tearfully, “Where’d you go bunny?” You had finally been reunited, after almost 3 months of abuse and longing he was here, he was holding you. For the first time in while you felt safe.

For a long while you two just held each other, before he lifted his head from your shoulder, his eyes red from the tears that now left a wet patch on your nightgown. You stared into each other's eyes, until he cupped your cheek and kissed you. You kissed him with equal vigor and love, as you sat there letting each other's languid movements communicate what you were not able to in the moment. You hadn't disconnected until you both needed to take a breath.

As you caught your breath in silence, Aleksander reached to cup your cheek, he told you, "Let's get you packed and ready to go." Your heart skipped a beat as you got up to start collecting your things avoiding your engagement gifts before stopping in your tracks to ask Aleksander, "Wait, where are we going to go?" He looked up at you and sweetly replied, "We can't be late for our wedding," before continuing his motions to clear your belongings out of the room. You stood there in shock and skin buzzing with the anticipation of marrying the man you truly wanted to.

∾ ▩ °º❤️º° ▩ ∾

A/N: Okay guys, this is my first chapter of a new series I am writing for Aleksander Morozova! I am collaborating in this idea with @lost-tothe-centuries and I am so excited to see how you guys feel and hopefully attract more of a S&B Audience. Also remember my inbox and messages are always open if you ever want to talk! Love y'all! *Mwah*

#aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #ben barnes is literally my husband #look at this man and tell me he doesn't make you go feral

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we-were-born-to-be-free · 2 years ago

Note

I have a fic idea for Alexander Morozova. So you could do a goddess reader. Maybe a goddess of the stars, and have smut at the end where Alexander is worshiping readers body calling her his goddess

Goddess - A.M

A/N: Umm... I don't write smut, but I can give it a shot. I have to start somewhere. Thank you for the request<3

Aleksander was so hopelessly in love. In love with Y/N. His little saint. His goddess of the stars.

He had married her years ago. They had both taken the vows to protect each other, to constantly shower the other with love. They had never been happier.

But one day, when his loyalties were being questioned, he was confused. Alina Starkov, the new-found sun summoner had entered the little palace. She had been one of his utmost priorities, next to you of course.

But you hadn't felt that way. You felt as though he was neglecting you, abandoning you. All for his new summoner. Before you knew it, tears were rolling down your cheeks as you sat on your bed in your private room. You were hardly ever there, always in Aleksander's room.

For the first time since you had married your husband, you felt alone. You hadn't seen Aleksander all week. You had purposefully tried to avoid him. You didn't need to distract him from taking care of his new summoner. He couldn't be bothered to check on his own wife.

Genya was the only person that knew about your troubles with Aleksander. She was your most trusted servant, and your dear friend. So as you sat there, loneliness swallowing you, she held you close. She held you like a sister would.

"Y/N. Hello pretty." She gave you that nickname a while ago. "What's wrong? Are you thinking about the General again?" You gave her a soft nod and unwillingly started sobbing even harder. After a while, she let go of you and retired to her room, wishing you well.

Aleksander had seen Genya coming out of your room. He stopped her before she continued down the corridor. "Miss Safin? May I stop you for a moment?"

She turned around giving the General a little bow before saying, "Yes General. Is there something wrong?" She already knew what the topic was about. She just didn't want to be rude.

"I see that you have been with Y/N a lot lately. How is she," he asked, not knowing your state.

"General, you may as well see for yourself. She's unhappy. She feels lonely," she states.

Aleksander was shocked. "But why should she be lonely? She has been avoiding me the entire week?"

"General, I think you should ask her yourself. I'll take your leave now General," she says, before giving him a little bow and hurrying down the corridor.

He stops outside your door, contemplating why you are so unhappy. As he opens the door and walks into your room, there you are. His beautiful little saint. But you were curled up on your bed, tears flowing and being caught by your pillow.

His heart ached. "Y/N? Lapushka, are you awake?"

You responded with a little squeak. He came to sit down next to you, raking his fingers through your dark hair. Your eyes fluttered at the feeling of him being with you again. He noticed this and came to lay in bed with you.

"Darling? What's wrong my love? Why have you been avoiding me?" he asks.

You shuffle away from him, onto the far side of the bed. "I haven't been avoiding you,' you whispered. "You're just too busy fussing over your sun summoner." Your voice broke as you said the last part of the sentence.

"No Lapushka. I swear I haven't. I've just been very busy my love," he says as he tries to console you. "Please turn around darling."

You turned around to face your husband. He sees you, with fresh tears in your eyes, ready to fall. "Oh darling," he says wiping the tears off your cheeks.

"Were you so busy this week that you completely forgot to say a simple 'good morning' to your wife," you say. "So busy with your new sun summoner that you completely forgot that you even had a wife," you say, your walls now coming down. "I felt so alone, Aleksander. So hurt and in so, so much pain."

He brought his lips to yours and captured them in a gentle kiss. "Let me make it up to you my goddess," he says. "Let me make you feel good lapushka."

And with that he kissed you again, this time a little rougher and full of passion. He pulled you closer, one hand on your hips, on hand on cradling your face. He softly bit your lip, making you moan into the kiss. His lips travelled your neck, sucking and biting the spots that made you feel good.

He tugged at your clothes before saying, "These need to come off darling. Now."

You and Aleksander took your clothes off as quick as you could. You looked into his dark eyes before he kissed you again. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted you off your feet and set you on the bed.

He kissed down your neck, giving some attention to your hardening nipples. You moaned as his tongue swirled around your breasts. "So beautiful for me milaya. My goddess. Do you want to come for me darling?"

You nodded quickly in agreement, wanting your husband to make you feel special. He continued kissing down your body, worshiping every part of you. He positioned his face between your thighs, before kissing them gently.

He looked at you and asked, "Are you sure lapushka?" You nodded very quickly, almost too quick. "Words, darling. Use your words."

"Yes."

That was the confirmation he needed before slowly licking up your core, making you gasp at the sudden contact. He licked up all your juices before saying, "So wet for me my goddess. So pretty. Just for me."

He continued to lick your soaked pussy, making you moan in pleasure. He started pumping a finger in your cunt. You started panting and moaning his name.

"Oh, Aleksander. Fuck."

He moaned into your pussy, the vibrations making you moan once again. "Aleksander," you moan. "I'm going to come."

His tongue moved faster and added another finger pumping into you. You cried out Aleksander's name as you came. He continued to ride out your high, licking and sucking your pussy.

He kissed your stomach, leaving wet spots all over your body. "You taste delicious darling."

He kissed you while positioning himself in front of your entrance. He pushed himself inside of you slowly, letting you adjust to his size. You both hissed at the feeling.

He started pumping in and out of you at a slow pace. A low sound came out of the back of his throat as he fucked you. You moaned loudly, pleasure coursing through your veins.

He slowly sped his pace that had rendered you helpless under his touch. He kissed you again while fucking your pussy. You broke the kiss, and moaned, "I'm going to come."

"Come around my cock darling."

You both came at the same time. Your vision blurred as you came hard. He helped you ride out your high as he came too.

He pulled out of you and got up to clean you both. When he finished he lay down on your bed, gathering you in his arms.

"Lapushka?"

"Yes Sasha."

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you like this," he apologises.

"It's alright Sasha. I've got you with me now."

"I love you, my beautiful goddess."

"I love you too, my god."

#aleksander kirigan #the darkling #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova x reader #alexander morozova #aleksander morozova smut #smut

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cheekygreenty · 2 years ago

Text

Revival

Dear readers,

In the wake of season 2 of shadow and bone premiering in two weeks, this author has made the decision to revive this blog and let their creative juices flow. Let requests, smut and angst begin.

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marvelmusing · 2 years ago

Text

Keep Your Judgement

Chapter Thirteen

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x Fem!Reader

Summary: As the attack on the Spinning Wheel continues, you do your best to return to Aleksander’s side, though you soon find it more difficult than you anticipated.

Warnings: canon level violence, injury, and death.

My Masterlist • Series Masterlist

As soon as you feel the mechanism click shut, ensuring that Aleksander’s escape is secure, you turn wildly and sprint down the hallway. A breeze of squaller wind hits your back, making your feet unsteady, but you continue running.

Casting your awareness out, you search for materials that might help you, your mind racing with thoughts and ideas to fight them off. Wood groans as you tug at a bookcase, bending the furniture until it topples down, blocking the corridor.

There’s a cry of surprise as some of the objects previously on the bookcase bounce over the floor, a marble bust narrowly missing one of the squallers as it shatters.

Turning through the maze of corridors, you attempt to focus on planning a route out of the building.

The fox growls lowly in the back of your mind, his instincts threading with your own as you become aware of a group around the next corner.

From the rifles you can sense, there’s two first army soldiers and, from the jewellery present, potentially one Grisha – not one of yours. Taking a mental note of how to engage with them, you round the corner with your hands at the ready.

A head of dark hair turns, hardened eyes meeting yours.

Zoya Nazyalensky.

Her eyes widen at the sight of you. Then she looks down at your kefta. The surprise on her face shifts into something almost like laughter as she scoffs,

“A durast?”

Her reaction momentarily stuns you. Over the past few weeks, Aleksander’s appreciation for your power and the respect you’ve earned amongst your Grisha has made you almost forget how little value had been placed on your Grisha order back at the Little Palace.

She’s wearing two rings, one on each hand. Easy enough for you to prevent her from summoning. The soldiers behind her won’t be able to gain a clean shot in this narrow corridor, giving you time to render their rifles useless.

But you need to be fast.

Zoya’s brows lift in shock as her hands are cast aside, held at bay by your power. Slamming your hands together, you release her rings and focus on bending the barrel of each soldier’s rifle. By the time you’ve done it, Zoya has summoned enough wind to slam you against the wall.

Groaning, your eyes water at the sharp sting of pain as the back of your head meets hard stone. Tugging at her rings once again, you keep her hands apart as the soldiers advance towards you.

As one of them swings at you, you snap the bone in his forearm with a determined push of your power. He cries out in fright and pain, his eyes wide as he realises the power you wield, and he stumbles to lean heavily against the wall.

Shattering the other man’s femur, you slam your knee into his face as he falls, dropping him into a crumpled heap on the floor.

At that point, the soldier by the wall has appeared to have steeled himself, moving towards you. With his dominant arm broken, he barely puts up a fight and soon he too is lying unconscious on the floor.

Turning back to Zoya, you watch as she eyes you cautiously. Warm blood trickles down the back of your neck; the wound on your head must be worse than you initially realised.

Vatra and Fruzsi had both mentioned Zoya in their stories of training sessions at the Little Palace. Zoya almost always emerged victorious. Perhaps it was time to pick your battles wisely. Stepping backwards, you grin at her.

“How’s that for a durast?”

Shifting into fox form, you sprint down the corridor and are gone before she can even react.

Claws skittering over cold stone, you speed down the steps leading into the crypt where the remains of an old chapel still stand. Hopefully David won’t have destroyed the final tunnels yet and you have a means of escape.

Suddenly, instinct urges you to hide, and just as soon as you duck behind one of pews an axe embeds itself into the wood beside you with a frightening amount of force. Running as fast as you can, you find a cabinet at the side of the room and rush between the sturdy legs of the furniture.

Panting in exertion, you press your body down against the cold floor in an attempt to make yourself as small as possible and quell the panic rising in you. You aren’t a big fox. You should be fine.

The sound of footsteps echoing through the crypt sends a shiver down your spine, encouraging you to press even further against the wall.

Then her voice rings out.

“You might have the fur of a fox. But your heart is still human.”

Before you can decipher the meaning behind her words, the cabinet you’ve been hiding under is being dragged aside and you edge backwards.

An axe swings, pulling a startled yelp from you as metal meets fur.

Scampering away, a flurry of red strands twirl in the space you had been hiding as you run. Every heartbeat thunders in your chest, but there’s only a mild sting of discomfort from your tail that is fading quickly, much to your confusion.

Shifting into human form too quickly, you stumble, fingers grasping onto the wooden corner of a pew. At the edge of your awareness, the prickle of merzost tugs at you. The rattling cry of the nichevo’ya registers in your mind as you struggle to stand.

Then Aleksander is by your side, hands at your waist to keep you steady as his eyes scour frantically in search of injury.

“You’re hurt,” he says.

Blinking dazedly, you look over your body. Each patch of blood can be explained from your earlier exploits, but you’re so certain that the axe had hit you.

“It’s not mine. At least, I don’t think it is.” Grasping onto the front of his kefta, you straighten yourself. “You came back for me?”

His features soften despite the crease of pain from summoning another nichevo’ya.

“Of course.”

There’s a yell from your attacker as Aleksander’s monster sinks it’s teeth into her shoulder, followed by an ear-splitting screech from the nichevo’ya as she plunges her axe into the centre of its shadowy body. Aleksander chokes out a gasp, black spreading through the veins in his neck and creeping up the side of his face as he practically doubles over.

Then an axe is being thrown in the direction of you both.

Pushing Aleksander aside, you bend the path of the weapon, flinging your arms back towards her in response. A flood of power thrums through your body, tingling down your arms and into your hands before it’s gone.

An invisible blade slices through her, and you stare as her body crumbles to the floor limply with a huge gaping wound from the top of her shoulder down into the centre of her sternum. Blood pools around her, staining grey stone red, as she gasps her final breath.

Reeling backwards, you stare down at your hands.

The Cut. You had just used the Cut.

Stunned, you continue to stare at your hands, suddenly aware that you’re shaking. Aleksander’s hands are gentle as he settles them over yours with infinite care. Lifting your unfocused gaze, you manage to meet his eyes.

“We need to leave now,” he says quietly.

Faintly, you nod, but find yourself unable to move.

Hurried footsteps race down the steps into the crypt, and the sound drags your awareness violently back into the present. Hyperfocus seizes you, as your power seeks every material around you – the wooden support beams, the stone tiles of the roof, and the glass of the small windows.

Another nichevo’ya rips itself from Aleksander’s body, and he cries out, slumping onto one knee as he grits his teeth and attempts to carry the weight of such pain.

There’s a grumbling moan as you exert your power into the building around you and the force of it has your legs shaking violently until you sink to the ground unsteadily.

From where he’s hunched over, Aleksander’s eyes meet yours and he reaches out to you.

“I’m going to bring the crypt down,” you tell him. He looks over towards the narrow doorway that will lead you to the tunnel through which you can return to the rest of your Grisha.

At that moment, a group enters the crypt, and you recognise Zoya at the helm of them.

“Hold onto me,” he instructs you. “I’ll cover our retreat.”

“Aleksander-” you begin to protest, not wanting him to risk using any more merzost.

“Trust me.”

Holding his gaze, you nod and grasp onto the sleeve of his kefta in wait of whatever cover he has in mind. Simultaneously, you focus on the nature wear and tear of the building, identifying weak spots for your power to exploit.

Dust falls onto your head and you both feel and hear the wooden beams creaking as they begin to snap slowly.

Then Aleksander slams his hands together and the entire place is plunged into darkness.

It’s frightening – for a moment. Pitch blackness that Aleksander steers you through. The sound of people rushing towards you, stumbling in the darkness, has you gripping tightly onto his kefta.

An inferni clicks their flint and flames burst into existence, though the strength of Aleksander’s shadows renders the light of the fire useless.

“Bring it down,” he murmurs softly against your ear, and you don’t hesitate.

Summoning deep inside you, the roof collapses with a roar under the pressure of your power. Aleksander pushes you through the doorway and the two of you stumble to the ground as a rush of dust and debris follows you into the tunnel.

Aleksander keeps his arms around you, shielding you from harm as the remains of the crypt continue to shift and crumble by itself.

“You cannot leave me like that again,” he says lowly.

Too busy attempting to reorientate yourself, you don’t respond to Aleksander’s words with anything except a weak nod which you regret the moment you become lightheaded. Aleksander stands first, arms shaking with the effort of lifting himself, before he helps you up.

He wraps his arm around your body, helping you walk as you make your way down the tunnel that will take you to where David and Vatra should be waiting to demolish the entrance.

Occasionally you sway, clinging to Aleksander as you stumble on shaky legs. There’s black dots in your vision and you fight to remain conscious.

“Stay with me, darling,” Aleksander murmurs against your temple.

“I’m here,” you respond weakly. Fingers gripping onto his kefta, you lean heavily against him as a bout of dizziness seizes you. When he notices your condition worsening, Aleksander bends down, hooking his arm under your knees to scoop you up into his arms.

The fox has already curled up weakly in the back of your mind, and the gentle sway of Aleksander’s arms as he holds you has you resting your head against his shoulder. Even in the low light of the tunnel, he sees when your eyes begin to flutter heavily.

“Stay conscious. I will get you to a healer as soon as possible.”

He says your name sternly when you close your eyes for too long and you almost cry out in pain and frustration as your body yearns to rest in his arms.

“It hurts, Sasha.”

He inhales sharply at your use of his diminutive name, but you don’t notice through the haze of discomfort clouding your thoughts. He presses his lips against your forehead, his breathing ragged with exertion.

“I know, sweet girl. We’re almost there. I have you.”

Sunlight hurts your eyes, and you squint dazedly as you bury your face into the dark safety of Aleksander’s kefta as he gives Vatra and David the order to demolish the tunnel.

It’s unlikely that anyone would be able to get through the destruction that you had created, but destroying the tunnel will make things difficult for any survivors.

A cool breeze brushes over your cheek and you fade in and out of consciousness, fighting to stay awake only for Aleksander’s sake, you don’t want to leave him again. The sound of long grass whispering against his legs has you longing to lie down in the fields surrounding the Sanctuary.

People move hurriedly towards you, and Aleksander begins giving orders.

“What’s the damage?” Fedoyr asks.

The softness has gone from Aleksander’s voice as he states,

“A concussion, possible power exertion and various bruising. Can you put her under safely?”

Fingers clinging weakly to the sleeve of his kefta, you tug at Aleksander.

“No, Sasha…”

A kiss is pressed to your forehead, then you’re slipping away into the darkness.

»»---------------------►

“Aleksander?” you murmur sleepily as you wake.

Blinking the exhaustion from your eyes, you realise you’re tucked against Aleksander’s chest as he sits astride his horse, and you appear to be journeying back to the Sanctuary.

Concern hangs heavy in his gaze as he scours over your face in search of distress or pain. The back of your head aches a little, and you still feel like curling up in his arms and sleeping the day away, but aside from that you feel fine.

“How are you feeling?” he asks smoothly as he steers his horse away from some unsteady ground.

“Better.”

“I would have preferred for you to be given the opportunity for bedrest,” he sighs heavily. “But our camp wasn’t overly defendable. The longer we stayed there, the greater chance of retaliation from whatever forces remain to stand against us.”

“It was the right decision, Aleksander. I’m alright.”

He hums quietly, not quite convinced.

As he appears deep in thought, you take the opportunity to look around. Fruzsi rides ahead of you, Fedoyr by her side, with your horse tied behind the two of them. Alina sits in the saddle, where you assume her hands have been bound to prevent her from summoning or running away.

“Why is Alina riding ahead of us? I would’ve thought you’d like her by your side.”

Aleksander glances down at you briefly before he levels a look of contempt at the back of Alina’s head.

“She was originally. Though she regularly attempted some rather antagonistic conversation, and I didn’t want her to wake you.”

When you breathe out a laugh, the frown on his face softens considerably and he offers you a small smile. He dips his head down, his nose grazing against your forehead as he murmurs,

“Are you alright?”

“I told you; I feel better now.”

He shakes his head.

“You tore someone in half with the Cut. That isn’t an easy thing to deal with.”

“One of us could have died if I hadn’t.”

He nods in agreement.

“I know. That doesn’t mean you have to be alright with it.”

That makes you silent. His arm is secure around your waist, ensuring that you remain close as his horse continues along the trek. Only a few of your Grisha have horses, the rest of them are walking on foot or have settled in the cart that David had mended recently.

“When was the first time you used the Cut?” you ask Aleksander quietly.

“I was thirteen. A young girl tried to kill me, so that she could use my bones as an amplifier.”

Turning in your seat, you attempt to look at Aleksander’s expression as he adjusts his hold on you protectively before he adds in a quiet murmur,

“Even now, I don’t blame her for it.”

“She was a heartrender,” you say quietly in realisation. Aleksander makes a small hum of confusion. “The woman I killed. She found me, even as a fox, because she could sense my heartbeat.”

He presses his lips to your temple in a gentle kiss of reassurance before he whispers,

“We do what we can to survive.”

Swallowing down the emotion welling in your throat, you vow to do much more with your power than just survive.

»»---------------------►

marvelmusing Tag List: @dreamlandcreations @blanchedelioncourt @idaofinfinity @slytherheign @ellooo0ooo @vixenofcourse @dumb-fawkin-bitch @jane-arthur @ilikefictionmen @budugu @watersquirtpewpewboomm @mysweetlittledesire @dhampiravidi

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Aleksander M Tag List: @nyctophiliiiiaaa @jazmin2211 @wooya1224 @seronsalk @housekeeperjjswife

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»»---------------------►

#keep your judgement au #aleksander morozova #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x reader #the darkling au #shadow and bone au #shadow and bone x reader

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